The Astral Pulse

Psychic and Paranormal => Welcome to Psychic and Paranormal! => Topic started by: Riddle on January 27, 2017, 18:29:36

Title: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 27, 2017, 18:29:36
Well, here, little by little, I will try to tell my story. For now I will create the topic so I can have the motivation to come back later, probably today, to share with you some of my stories because they may interest you.  :evil:

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 27, 2017, 20:09:34
It all started when a friend of mine had fallen asleep, while I was at her home. I felt the strange feeling there was someone in the room, a strange vibe, let's say. When she woke up, she told me someone had said I had a strong soul.
She had already had 'visitations' in the past in sleep paralyses. One time someone had moved her arm towards her breasts and had told her in the year ''let's play''. Another time she had seen a black man standing by the tv, observing her. Years ago, she had been attacked by blonde woman repeatedly in her 'dreams' (because it was a conscious state, not exactly a dream). One time, she was staring at her through the window like an aggressive bloodthirsty predator, another time she dreamt how a woman that resembled a Komodo varan bit her by the neck and when she woke up, she got severely ill by an angina. She had told me various of sleep paralyses and other experiences where she was visited.
That's when we started getting interested in these things and we started provoking them to happen more often.
We started conspiring who could these entities be and we shaped out the profile of five creatures - a reptilian blonde woman, a black shadowy man, a nazi policeman, a lord with white hair and a prince that in one of her paralyses had told her the name Lavender. That's how we probably started provoking some hallucinations exactly about these characters? We got kind of fanatical, and since I was more naive back then, I started believing so easily in everything at 100%.
I started having sleep paralyses. The black man appeared to me too. My bed is on the second level and the scenarios in the sleep paralyses were always repeating themselves - it was a sound of the front door unlocking and someone rushing, opening the door with a wild sound that would scare me, then run into me and start circling around fragmentedly. One time the black figure had a slow motion and it froze by my side. I could see the whole figure, it looked like a demon. Then the creature caught me, turned me around and shove his finger in my back and I felt a lot of pain and struggled to set free. He laughed in a half mocking, half warm way and set me free.
Another time I dreamt how a very brisk entity came to me and took me away from my body, raised me in mid air and called me "you bonking whore'' with a robotic voice - this I connected with the profile of the nazi policeman. Back then we believed it was creatures from another dimensions who specifically visited us so we did try to connect all of the occurances into a large picture.
In some paralyses I felt something like a leach creeping on my skin, it 'attacked' my intimate zone, another time it just made me feel something between pleasure and pain on my back.
In a sleep paralysis that was very very vivid I felt how someone like a prince came and kissed me. I connected it to Lavender, or at least that's how I started calling him. An year ago, when I experienced my first sleep paralysis, I had seen the face of a very similar entity near my face that glowed like a ghost and imitated the face of my Asian ex-boyfriend. It was very otherwordly and I saw it crystal clear.
Then I dreamt a prince who had the control over some kind of electric web that could catch ghosts and all of them were his slaves. I was bound on the first floor, he royally climbed down the stairs approaching me, and when he got nearby me, he scratched my back in a way that reminded the piercing touch of the kiss and also the tinging touch of the leach. The prince smirked as If I was his property as well and I could easily be enslaved as well but this was some kind of special treatment.
One night before I fell asleep I heard the same robotic voice yell "MIIINEEE" in my head. It was very passionate, hellish and nazi.
Another night I heard the name "Belphegor" installed in my head. I immediately connected it to the profile of the black demon. I had never read about Belphegor in the Internet before. It just randomly popped up in my head with a male voice.
When I was at my village, before I went to sleep, I asked Belphegor to let me see his soul. When I 'fell asleep' I saw some fogged black cloud that contained some light inside and I felt the same half-mocking, half-warm emanation from him, as if he meant ' I could be so evil to you, you are so naive and sweet,  maybe I feel some warm feelings about you but how do you know it's not a lie'.
In a very later dream of mine, he appeared in my dreams, where I felt his penis :D that was super large (well, I want to recount it, so :D I am sorry if it bothers someone), then he said "you are the goodest girl on the planet Earth I've ever seen'.
By the way, all of the dreams felt like they were something more than a dream.
A dream my friend had about the Nazi was that he suffered in great pain and she peeked in his misery, and he yelled "NO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE SEEN THIS, YOU TWO COULD BE OUR CURE", in the background there were some clockwork machine robot creatures getting prepared for something.
In another dream I went to mock Belphegor a bit, I grabbed hi by the buttocks, and he answered "Who touched me?" he had a long black hair and looked just like in the dream where he said I was a very kind person.

Oh my god, since it started happening two years ago, much of the info is fogged, i don't know how I am going to match all this into a common picture. It has been so many dreams ,now so little comes to my mind. I will proceed later, now I will go study a bit. :P

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 27, 2017, 22:17:54
There was a time when I am sure I astrally projected. There was some sort of a teacher who appeared to be very similar to Belphegor that was supposed to combine with me in an amazing soul way - when we touched, there would be orgasmic electrification. We travelled through many wormholes and it was very cosmic and interstellar. Supposedly there was some sort of 'police' after us, or at least I felt chased. In the end I met another guy that I matched with better than with the teacher and I felt multiple soulgasms, literally. I've never felt anything more divine than that. The teacher got displeased. Then I woke up in a sleep paralysis and Belphegor appeared over me and licked my breast (again, sorry if the detail is bothersome). At some point of the dream I was in front of an abbandonded house and shouted in a powerful demonic voice "NUMMU MATT"
There was another lucid dream that was the most powerful thing I've ever experienced, it overdid even the last one. In it all the superheroes from a daydream of mine were in an interstellar war. They wore very beautiful ethereal clothes in exotic colours, it was a fountain of splendid shapes, colours, I've never seen anything as vivid. I am sure these creatures are real somewhere. I don't know if i created them or if I just connected astrally through a daydream and then a lucid dream, but I've seen them fight with magic and it was beautiful.
Then there was this lucid dream where me and another three forces were playing around. I was pure force, I was blue and we were just erupting around. There was a yellow one and a red one. I've never felt more powerful. I was the power of nature itself. I was like the power of magic or something like that. We were fighting and chasing each other and trying to overpower each other. It was very fun and mighty.
There was this sleep paralysis where an entity dragged me in the bathroom and my eyes turned into liquid and poured out on the ground, after the entity pushed my head to the ground. It was a very ill experience.
Then another sleep paralysis with an element that repeats itself ever since I was little - my teeth fall down, turned into chips on the floor, a demonic (that's how I call an ill hostile vague presence floating around me, it's an easy way to address) presence floated around me and grinned, knowing what that ill omen meant (I suffer from OCD and after some time it got pretty bad.. now it's normalized). Then my teeth were replaced by various objects instead. I think it is a metaphor for my OCD ilness that wants ill order that drives me mad. It is very fragmented and creates the sensation of being cut. Every time I see a set of symmetrical linear fissures, it feels like my head is being cut into the pieces I am seeing. IT's a very abstract ilness.
Then, this dream is like a prediction, I dreamt how I looked myself in the mirror and I saw my face as Dama Pika. It was very scary and ugly and weird. I tried to comb my hair, but the hairbrush got stuck in my hair.

to be continued

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on January 28, 2017, 10:40:36
i'm going to make a note here, to read your story on a later time, so far sounds interesting, for right now it is my bed time

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 28, 2017, 19:24:06
I am glad it interests you!

So, then I will proceed to a very interesting part. This is a really strange episode that I can not explain so far.
A day before Easter day I heard a bell dinging in my head and someone uttered "She is here".
When I was a child, the fourth grade, me and a classmate were in my classmate's house. I remained to sleep there but I really hated the part that there was a mirror in front of the bed because they had told me stories about the mirror lady Dama Pika who would travel through mirrors, her ghost was evil and would torture and kill people. My friend, when she heard of my fear, mocked me and said ironically "yeah, she will hurt you, she is here". that's when we heard a silent whisper in mid-air "I am here". I am sure it wasn't my friend because I knew exactly from where it came, besides, when I heard it, my friend was busy laughing, then her facial expression suddenly froze in terror, we both started screaming, ran out of the room, freaked out. I don't know how I managed to sleep before the mirror the same night. Anyway, I don't know how to explain it either, whether it was some strange kind of a hallucination but what happened years later is not less strange.
Keep in mind that I did smoke pot at the time and this interfered a lot with what I experienced.
So I heard the dong she is here and suddenly the monster started visualising in my head, I couldn't stop it, I would hear buzzing sounds, and, once triggered, my fear provoked a massive further visualisation of Dama Pika. But that is not what is strange.
The strange thing is that before we went to my grandparents' house for Easter luncheon, I smoked pot. Then I listened some music and I suddenly heard "I am talking to you through your earphones", I heard it as if it was fused with the song. It freaked me out. It sounded like some sort of an alien with an electronic voice. But let's say it was due to pot. When I approached my mother, the buzzing was so lound it changed her words and I would hear random maddening noises twisting the words she was uttering. I was barely hearing what she was saying. Then I started hearing in my head " I will lock you in my tower, you will be my slave there, you will only draw the whole day ''. Then suddenly my mother sighed: "ahh if only you could be forever this age and you could draw by my side and never leave me''. okay, weird coincidence, I still thought I had just gone bonkers due to the pot. But then I heard in my head "I WILL DIVORCE YOUR FATHER, YOU'LL SEE, JUST WAIT". There were no signs of my mother wanting to divorce my father, she acted as if everything was great with him, I had no suspicions about anything like that. I somehow managed to arrive at my grandparents' place and when I sat on the table I heard "EAT YOUR FOOD". I remained in their house, spent a horrible night with the worst sensation in the world and the next day, when I went home, I felt a bit better. I thought it had all passed by, that I had smoked crazy pot and that it was all over now. No. As we were watching the Vikings, suddenly my mother came in the room, sat on the bed and said "Children, I have something to tell you. I want to divorce your father." I can not describe you the shock I felt.
Can you believe that? I have NO idea how I heard this a day before it happened. And it really did happen out of the blue. There is no way I could have known it. Maybe subsconsciously I knew it and it passed from the mass register to me. Or a crazy alien that doesn't know how to have a life told it to me. :D
My mother changed a lot. I started being tortured by dreams, sound and imagery hallucinations of Dama Pika. My mother became cold, distant and there was something about her eyes that made her look like a different person.
This summer I was attacked many times in sleep paralyses.
The first time, I hear a female roaring very angrily and I saw something like a fuzzy spider in the room that floated around and pressed me to the bed. It hurt. I knew it was the Dama Pika thing in another form. The only thing I could do is wait for it to pass.
Then the other time I woke up and there was something in my chest trying to explode my heart. I knew that if I gave in, it would be the end of me - that was my first thought. There was a scratching tickling on my throat and I heard Dama Pika's voice mocking me, laughing and singing an annoying song. It was the worst sleep paralysis I've ever had. Completely immobilized, tickling on my throat and I just had to keep calm for minutes before it all ended and I woke up, because otherwise I would have give in, she would have possessed me and it would be the 'end', or at least that's what I was deadly sure about in the sleep paralysis.
Then there was this sleep paralysis where I saw the reflection in the leather sofa (it is reflective enough to let me see the shapes of objects on it) of a big black figure, that I recalled was probably who I called Belphegor. He bend over me and apparently put me in myself. I felt that there was something more going on, probably in another realm, and I felt part of me was there with him that time, and that now he just brought me back to my body from where he had brought me before.
I also had a sleep paralysis where I saw this blonde girl on the chair which said " I feel you're going insane ''. She reminded me of the reptilian woman I've already mentioned.
The buzzing sounds in my head, the threats, the mind attack, visualisations and even feeling touched wouldn't stop. We even went to clairvoyants, no use of that though. It all stopped after a weird dream where I dreamt how my mother burnt from some kind of demonic fever and in the end she touched my best friend, said "It's all your fault" and suddenly she was set free from the possession or force that had been interfering with her so far.
The next days I stopped hearing the buzzing or at least my mind finally overcame the terror. I don't know whether the dream helped me change my perspective and stop fearing it, so it all ended but it is true that I met my mother and as we talked, I noticed that my mother had become friendly again, there was that shining sparkle in her eyes of her motherly love that had disappeared. And I said to her: "Mum, it feels that you've come back" She was completely oblivious, she didn't know what I was talking about. But I knew she had returned to herself somehow.

to be continued

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on January 29, 2017, 21:47:15
OMG I just looked up Belphegor and to my shocking surprise I see a demon sitting on a toilet, and the thing is he's always sitting on a toilet. When I was very young in our old home my family had a picture of a creature sitting on a toilet in our bathroom, I always thought it was creepy, I always thought it was the devil, but turn around today and find out it was all along a picture of Belphegor, and its creeping me out now, now I'm starting to wonder what the hell my family was into, mainly my uncle, I remember that picture clearly, he was purple, sitting on a toilet with a blacked out background, with a hint of red, maybe symbolizing blood.

I'm not sure what you and your friend did to invoke those beings, but it seems you had opened a doorway to let these things in, the veil is already thin in this world for these thing to come thru, but i'm glad its over now, thanks to your mother for some reason, seems she has a strong soul/energy to just put a stop to things like that.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 30, 2017, 17:07:30

Maybe because I recalled so much about him when I was writing this post, yesterday he appeared. By the way, he had been visiting me very often then he suddenly stopped for no reason. So yesterday I felt how I was in the room back that Easter night and he would pinch me in a tinging way and he loaded some erotic music and his face appeared as if I was looking an Internet picture (the vision appeared 'inside of my head') and then the connections suddenly stopped. I also heard a voice say "you will have problems with this entity".
Idk If I want to contact him anymore, I don't want to have much in common with what is depicted as demons. I am not sure I understand the essence of these entities, whether they are a product of myself or separate individuals,.. I have no clue. I only know they got me in trouble so I want to stay away, even though I have to confess I still feel interested.
Wtf was your uncle doing though :D

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on January 30, 2017, 19:12:59
if you need help getting rid of him I can send something there to take care of it... also I don't know what he was into all I know is they used to call him voodoo, and somefamily members still call him that to this day, I will have to ask my cousin, who still calls him that why they call him that.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 30, 2017, 19:23:12
well it has been an year since he hasn't been bothering me so I guess it's fine for now.
Yesterday maybe I subconsciously evoked him.
Maybe you could just ask your cousin what he knows about him and why does he call him voodoo.
IF I have a problem, I will ask for furhter help.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on January 30, 2017, 21:56:45
ok I asked my cousin, she said they called him that because of the crimes and stuff he got away with when he was younger, but it still don't explain the picture of Belphegor  in the bathroom, and even still I think they keeping something from me cause she said she *promise*  its nothing like that but why would you have to promise me something like that, that nothings going on, or maybe i'm reading too much into it.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 30, 2017, 22:06:01
I will tell another separate case.
Back in February last year, my grandfather's illness has gotten so bad he couldn't almost breathe anymore. It got so bad that at one point I thought he would die by one of the doors. But in the last moment I said I loved him and it was as if that made him come back and saved his life because suddenly he started breathing and managed to survive. I was very distressed by the time, I spent five complete days in this atmosphere in his home without going out, the feeling was very tragic and suffocating, I was devastated and waited for the worst every second, the worst feelings in my chest. Then suddenly I heard an unfamiliar name in my head "Azrael". Seriously. I had never stumbled upon it before. Then I heard "Raphael" and "Uriel". I googled them and it turned all they were all existing angels. Azrael, the angel of death. Supposed to help deceased people adjust to the new reality and go to their close ones, also an angel who could comfort you when you have experienced loss. Raphael, the angel of youth, spring and childish energy, Uriel the angel of fire, wisdom and willpower. I was atsonished at the fact that I've heard names of existing angels I had never heard of. When I heard them, I felt something like their presence because before I googled them I already felt something which I can not explain with words but that matched their profile described in the Internet. I was marvelled especially at hearing Azrael's name because it was so accurate by the time. When I went to bed, he started visualising in my head, like in a daydream (I received this daydream-like visualisations all the time back then) and I prayed to him to help me feel better. Then all of a sudden I felt this angelic alleviation which I couldn't have imitated because so far I felt so  grievious I couldn't help it. But suddenly good thoughts started coming to my mind, but they were not mere thoughts, they actually had the power of making me feel better in a bit fresh and comforting way I can not describe. "Dont worry, he has lived up to 80, in his last days he's received the love of his wife and granddaughter, he will be freed from his pain, you are still young, don't indulge in these bad emotions''. I literally felt this comforting presence which alleviated me in a way I can not describe otherwise but angelic. It was very magical.
By the way, my grandfather is still alive up to this point, *knock on wood*.

hmm that got me very interested, about your relatives. Wish I could know more. :D

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on January 31, 2017, 03:24:48
yea you and me both wish we knew more, I asked my bro about it he said he remember the picture too. that's awesome you verbally met with angels and you got comforted, and congrats to you paw paw as well. I had a chance to meet with an angel but I was afraid at the time I was young and thought to look upon an angel would mean you die from the very sight of their wonder and beauty. I was meditating to try to go see God, but the only thing I remember was  a white out then I came to and I got a glimpse of a piece of the angels shiny glittery wing, but I quickly put my head down cause I dared not to look upon it, I guess it caught my drift and just left. I think it was the one that brought me back to my body safely to be sure I was safe, I do wish I di look at it it probably would have changed my life doing so, now i'm left wishing to have that chance back.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 31, 2017, 16:52:59
Oh my God. That sounds so beautiful. Maybe you could try to contact one again in the future so maybe it will not be the only chance. Wish I could have seen it. <3

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on January 31, 2017, 21:23:31
Oh I've tried on countless occasions and came up short, not even my spirit guides interact with me in my dreams anymore . It's like everything has abandoned me, even my ability to project has left me. So now I'm stuck living through others experiences for the excitement.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on January 31, 2017, 21:35:34
Hmm I don't think you are abandoned, that sounds so cruel, maybe there's another reason why they do not appear apparently. I think they follow you silently for whatever spiritual reason there may be (they usually have weird reasons beyond our understanding). Astral projection is not easy anyway. Maybe you subconsciously block them somehow, last time you got a bit scared so maybe there's a mechanism you apply or that may be the reason why they decided to keep a certain distance. What do you think?

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on February 01, 2017, 10:44:37
welljust recently I asked them to help me out of body, so I can finally reach the first step in becoming whhho I want to be, I even made it into a chant, repeating it over to make sure it melded with my whole being and subconscious, I asked over 150 ,but nothing happened. they were helping me at first way after the whole angel thing, but now they suddenly stop, I never put up any barrios, well I do have invisible shielding and barrier around my home but I have invited them in, its only meant to keep out the bad ones, as long as they have positive vibes towards me anyone can get in , I set it up that way.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 01, 2017, 14:53:42
hmm that's strange indeed but I am sure whatever they do and for whatever reasons, it is good.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Nameless on February 01, 2017, 18:53:50
welljust recently I asked them to help me out of body, so I can finally reach the first step in becoming whhho I want to be, I even made it into a chant, repeating it over to make sure it melded with my whole being and subconscious, I asked over 150 ,but nothing happened. they were helping me at first way after the whole angel thing, but now they suddenly stop, I never put up any barrios, well I do have invisible shielding and barrier around my home but I have invited them in, its only meant to keep out the bad ones, as long as they have positive vibes towards me anyone can get in , I set it up that way.

Hello Riddle, sorry for not responding directly to you as yet, I am still reading your story. Hope you don't mind if I take a moment to address Bloodshadow.

Blooddshadow - might I offer an observation? Wonderful exp btw with the angel. Could it be possible that while you were chanting and receiving help you missed a clue? Sometimes, after making your request/intent known you have to be still and listen or pay attention. Communication can be very subtle so if you continue to chant or carry on you miss this. Just something you might want to think about.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Nameless on February 01, 2017, 19:10:48
Riddle you seem to be pre-cognizant, I think I am saying that right. You know things before they happen, but you are troubled by your belief systems so this 'knowing' that you have comes to you through your own muddles beliefs.

Your first step in getting rid of the 'demons' is to recognize the role they play in helping you. Loose any fear you have and face them head on. There are a number of great threads on this forum concerning this. Have a look around and do some reading up. You are already well on your way and have been prepped, time to learn and see where YOU can take all this.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 01, 2017, 20:05:48
I think I am pre-cognizant, now that you put it this way, I always receive a sign a little bit before some important event. Of course, I always interpret it completely afterwards. It is either visualizations or dreams, or even voices. I just don't know if I am a contactor or it is my own mind doing it.
Do you know some treads that I may look into because I do feel a bit lost in the vastness of the forum.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on February 01, 2017, 21:20:24
well all i ask them for with that chant was to help me out of body, so the only response i expected was the help getting out once i get to the right state i doubt they'd respond verbal or with signs with that request would they? i chanted it all thru out the day, to prep them for when the time for you Riddle if you know what you looking for the titles of each forum on the site should be able to lead you to the correct post, just like you knew to put this experience in the psychic section, but if you tell me what you looking for i will look and post the link here.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 02, 2017, 20:14:03
Your first step in getting rid of the 'demons' is to recognize the role they play in helping you. Loose any fear you have and face them head on. There are a number of great threads on this forum concerning this.

Well if any treads of that kind come to your mind...? Like what are these demons and how could they help, or spiritual guides or something like that. And by the way I've read a topic about aliens and how it is possible that they pretend to be spiritual guides and pretend that there is a heaven behind the light in the tunnel but that's how they actually trap us. Do you believe it.. ?And how can you distinguish between a spiritual guide and an alien, let's say, or a pretending spirit in general?
Like, ever since I read this article in the forum I got completely lost and confused and also scared because I don't know what to do if I face the light in the future.. whether to believe it, or not..?

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on February 02, 2017, 21:31:29
ok so most demons are basically parasites they attach themselves to you to feed off of your energy, most times to rid yourself of them, you have to show positivity or love towards them because they hate it, be sure that it is pure and no hint of fear and it should work. as for discerning what beings are good you have to base it off how you feel around the if you feel unsettling around them chances are they are bad or have ill intentions towards you. I also heard about the aliens entrapment of souls, I kinda believe it, it does resonate with me, to keep from entering the light all you have to do is tell them you want to wait till you can think and process clearly, because they try to come get you while you are disoriented that's how the deceive people to go into the light, I heard of a story from someone who said the spoke to someone who didn't going to the light, I think the person was Kelli In The Raw on youtube, you will have to look her up she spoke to a spirit that didn't go thru with it cause it took its time to think clearly and came to a realization, this is all I know on the subject for now outside of that we are all suppose to be different type of alien souls and this is a prison planet. also look up the rosewell vids too they talk about it.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 02, 2017, 22:27:47
What is the point of spiritual guides then if they let you be deceived by such entities, it's not fair, or maybe there are no spiritual guides at all and these entities pretend to be ones in order to deceive us even more easily. How convenient, to expect to meet the guides and the angels, such an unfair game, so many of my friends and relatives will 100 % fall for the trap (if the theory is correct), and God knows if I will manage to overcome it, because I am still uncertain what to believe and whether I will have the technique or memory to do it, or whatever. Death is scary enough anyway, let alone with such a trap just after it. Like, it's a bit impossible to predict ways of overcoming such a problem, when one knows so little about the afterlife anyway.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 02, 2017, 23:10:20
So I will proceed with another one of the stories. As I told you, after I dreamt that my mother had some sort of demonic fever and touched my friend, saying ''It's all your fault!" it was as if she handed over the ball to my friend (the very friend with whom I was experiencing and sharing these things). Her name is Maria.
We had become very close and it seemed like the perfect friendship. But it kind of crashed. A bit before it I dreamt how she and the boy she was flirting with (now her serious boyfriend) were minding their own business, playing their erotic games and I was going on errands, trying to catch up with them, they were completely oblivious to my presence and I stuggled with keeping up their pace. Just as I was wasting my effort in trying to make them notice my existance, there was this black liquid that attacked me like the bullets of a machine gun. It was an ill omen.
Then at Halloween night, we decided to try a Wicca magic from a book for celebrating our friendship. We put pomegranate and apples on the table, wrote two self-made poems on two beautifully painted sheets and recited both together while holding each other by our hands. The next morning in a sleep paralysis I saw the face of the Elvenking with tears in his eyes, and I felt as if he wanted to say goodbye - her room was his 'domain' and it was as if the coziness was about to end. Then I stated repeating to the 5 entities that I loved them. Then I heard a voice that interrupted this confession and said "No, you don't. That's how we had made a deal. You'll see." (Another interesting thing is that a little boy, child of a friend of mine with this very strange facial expression, I am 100% sure that he is a contactor, I was sure of it the moment I saw him and his eyes. When I was visiting this friend, the boy suddenly looked at me and said "You'll fuel our machine, run before the time has come". Then I said "Where can I run to?" and the boy smiled. Then he said "You're experience itself/mere experience".)
Two days after, I accidentaly said a secret to  Maria's boyfriend and she got so mad at me she told me the worst destructive things. She made me feel so guilty that I felt almost annihilated and couldn't sleep for two days. She was as if in the worst predatorial woman dominatrix element and it was terrible. After that started the horror. She had mentioned Lavender's name, saying he was the keeper of the secret and I had ruined it, I had betrayed the friendship so badly trust could never be accomplished again, that I had broken it beyond repair (said in a very cruel manner which I couldn't handle). I started a period of guilt and self-hatred and she would torment me for weeks as revenge. Then (I had visualisations of these caracters all the time), as I was at my job, a huge visualisation began where this prince Lavender (or we called him also Sebastian, prince of hell) laughed at me, saying I would go angry over silly matters (ah yeah by the way I dreamt before that I was in a conference room, everything very fogged, I could barely hear what the people around me were saying, and I would suddenly find myself in a car in the same room with a friend of mine named Elvira and when I was about to hit the wall, I let everything happen, hugged myself thinking "help me Lavender") then suddenly I got an offer for a job and it all really started there. It turned out it was the 12th February..exactly the birthday of Elvira, when I was at the job with these events happening. I would see him mock me, and the one time he would be friendly giving advice to me not to be so angry, the next time he would be cruel to me and laugh sadistically. I got very tortured. A few days before that it was as if something opened up in my head and I started receiving these terrible OCD visualisations that are so abstract I can not describe them but they really tortured me. When I came back home the first day and tried to sleep, I had horrible auditory and visual hallucinations all night. He looked at me with a nostalgic sad face, as if he meant he had to do it, that he loved me but it had to happen for reasons I couldn't understand. Then I suddenly heard him saying "I will come back". Then an image of my absuive ex-boyfriend who looked like him a little bit visualised in my haid, so I couldn't understand whether he meant his caring form would come back or his abusive form was ABOUT to come. Then I suddenly started hearing hissing sounds and hissing-like laughter in my head and I started hearing a suffocating voice that was sweet in an unpleasant way that started threatening me. Altogether with that I was seeing for many hours some kind of a riddle with hearts that would change their shape and I was supposed to understand what the riddle meant. A white part would appear in the inside of the hearts, then it would go back to normal again, the switches were many and confusing I can not retell it. But it was as if they meant they drained my heart after I had let myself get fond of this Lavender. I did feel very heartbroken, apart of being tortured by the voices in my head. This is how I spent whole five days at work withough one second of sleep. Five days I had to translate to business partners at the Plovdiv fair. And I am proud of my job because I also translated his entire catalogue and brochures in this tormented state! At around the fourth day I started snoozing a little bit and that's when the image of the Elvenking I had mentioned in the first post appeared. He had a crown made of candles. By this time I had an altar consisting of a drawing of him and many candles. By the way, it was just when I completed my altar when this thing suddenly happened. It was perfect timing, as if the altar was mentioned to be exactly for this 'special occasion'. So I had this vision where my hair and head were set on fire by the candles of the altar (which right this moment were burning nearby my pillow, because the bed is next to the altar). And he said "I confine you to hell". After that the hissing thing said "We will first kill you" ... "And then we'll eat you" then I had the sensation of two jaws clutching and eating me. This nightmare continued for weeks. Then I called a friend who supposedly knew white magic and as I started telling him the story, I said "...Sebastian..." and he interrupted "wait, who? Azrael? Oh, I know him". I was shocked. The thing with my grandfather and Azrael had already happened. I have no idea how he misheard the name Sebastian into Azrael, when they have nothing in common. It was a sign. I asked him "Please ask him what to do". Then my friend said "He says it's all a part of the big game" and "I can not help you if you don't want to help yourself''(not sure whether he's making up this part).
When I went to sleep, suddenly visualisations of Azrael started happening and I felt this influx of healing energy. I felt as if there were angry ghosts floating and screaming around me but they were muted and very far away. I heard complete silence and only felt his comforting and healing presence. That's how the snake-hissing-vermin thing stopped existing. It hasn't bothered me ever since.
When I called Maria and tried to explain everything to her, she was more concerned about how I skipped the meeting I promised to attend and how that made me a horrible friend. At the same moment I tried to explain her how these creatures wouldn't let me sleep for five days but it couldn't get to her, wtf? She just said how she was sure I would come back to Sebastian like the little puppy I was. Then I got so mad, I somehow gathered courage and blocked her out from my life, threw the altar away and replaced it with icons of angels and so on. Now I'm on better terms with her, after two or three months I randomly met her on the street, we talked and we kind of started seeing each other again but now it's different and we don't discuss or worship these entities anymore, and it is as if she is completely oblivious and barely remembers them anyway.

By the way, about this Sebastian, there was this dream where I tried to help a dog that was hanged and choking but when I reached my hand, the dog bit me and wouldn't let go. Then Sebastian helped me out and said "just follow my perfume'' and I got so enchanted by the perfume It would make me fly while being hooked on its aroma trace. Then a several months later a friend of mine adopted a dog that looked exactly the same and one time, when I was in the car, the dog tried to go out of the window. For some reason I blocked and didn't stop him at all and the dog started choking exactly like in my dream. My friend helped the dog and put it back in the car. I think the dog is a metaphor of me and how I handled all that was happening to my - hyperactive, naive, without common reason and stubborn to do what I was interested in, incapable and unwilling to hear the possible damage and danger that would happen. Also snarling when offered help - it was as if I didn't want to see these things were bad for me and refused help.
Ha, I dreamt it before she said I was Sebastian's little dog. :D Now that I look at it, maybe the dream is a literal explanation of everything that was happening to me and how blindly hooked up I was because his aroma was so charismatic and spellbounding.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 03, 2017, 11:22:20
What is the point of spiritual guides then if they let you be deceived by such entities, it's not fair, or maybe there are no spiritual guides at all and these entities pretend to be ones in order to deceive us even more easily. How convenient, to expect to meet the guides and the angels, such an unfair game, so many of my friends and relatives will 100 % fall for the trap (if the theory is correct), and God knows if I will manage to overcome it, because I am still uncertain what to believe and whether I will have the technique or memory to do it, or whatever. Death is scary enough anyway, let alone with such a trap just after it. Like, it's a bit impossible to predict ways of overcoming such a problem, when one knows so little about the afterlife anyway.

Guides are there to help you not do it for you.
Most "demons" or "bad" entities that plague people are of their own creations, or something that has come along to feed off the energy you are emitting. If you emit hatred you get something that sounds with that. Why would a guide get rid of it if you are willingly inviting it? Show love and you get love show hate and you get hate. Watch some news, it shows you a prime example of the same thing on the physical plane, hatred only breeds more hatred. And since the astral plane is all thought oriented what you think and feel you get instantaneously with no delay. Here in the physical there is a delay before a thoughts and feelings becomes reality. It is a lesson to learn. 

If your worried if a entity is good or bad, or that you might fall for a trap which those that are unknowing fall for most of the time... feel for it, your feelings will tell you the truth. Nothing can harm you, nothing can possess you unless you willingly let them but at the same time you can take control back over anytime you want if you did. When you are smart enough to see through their tricks the only power they have is when you give it to them and when you stop giving it to them they will for some time try to get it through fear. But after learning to deal with that they leave you alone they might show up again now and then as a test but over all poof gone.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 03, 2017, 13:49:18
Thank you for the advice! It was helpful. These entities do not attack me as much as before so maybe I've found a way of keeping them aside. IT was just that alien thing that shocked me because I am not sure whether to believe it or not. After all, if they can imitate so well that it's almost undistinguishable, I won't be sure whether I will be missing a chance or saving the day if I refuse to enter this tunnel of light that emits either love or 'love'.

As for the two guys reading the topic, I wanted to say I had posted a new story that now remained in page n1 in case you missed it.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on February 03, 2017, 20:04:48
My guess is that our spirit guides would be the alien races that we are part of trying to guide us and  let us know things, and they try to speak in code that our souls should know from our home land, they are trying to help us become aware so that we can help them help us escape, but we been on this planet so long and have become so accustomed to its teaching and learnings that we have forgotten our own language from our home planets. but we must also be careful cause maybe most of the so called guardians could be the ones who entrapped us, and they have be sent to each and everyone of us to be sure that we stay trapped we all probably have our on personal watch guard to make sure we don't escape when we die, but this is just my speculation and thoughts on it, it would make sense as to why they are called guardians. we as soul will have to dig deep down to find out which race we come from so instead of calling on the wrong guardians, we can call upon our homelands for help on certain things, but again this is just speculation on my part...........


Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 03, 2017, 20:33:49
It is a complicated matter indeed. I guess I will keep from entering the light, now I fear it greatly. :?

by the way, have you read the last story?

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 04, 2017, 01:15:56
What is it that you fear?

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 04, 2017, 13:21:35
death, (alien) abduction, car crashes, heights

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on February 04, 2017, 19:35:03
well you will find that the more you project, death becomes less frightful, cause it lets you know that there is life after death, and there's is no reason to fear death. As for the alien thing if they haven't done it by now they most likely won't abduct you, there isn't anything in your DNA they want, if so they would have started while you were young, and seeing as that you are an adult and they still haven't came for you you have nothing to worry about, unless you are an alien soul, and your planet is looking for you ( but that would be if the theory is true). as for car crashes that goes along with the death part I talked about, once you stop fearing death the other stuff goes away with it.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Nameless on February 04, 2017, 20:21:31
Hi Riddle, both Phalanx and Bloodshadow are correct, about the only thing to fear in the NP is yourself. It's not that there aren't dangers but you have everything at your disposal to combat that. If you learn to look at these fearful situations in a new light, like a learning exercise, you will come to appreciate them. We really don't learn anything when everything is just 'peachy king'.

Many of the attacks are not true attacks but rather a way to get you to wake up and pay attention. Observe carefully and ask for clarification and you'll begin to notice things you missed before. I've been there myself and coming from a religious background the term used would have been renunciation as in "I renounce you satan". It's essentially the same thing to say, "Okay, now that you are done trying to scare the pants off me what can I learn from you because you aint scaring me no more."

You said - "What is the point of spiritual guides then if they let you be deceived by such entities, it's not fair, or maybe there are no spiritual guides at all and these entities pretend to be ones in order to deceive us even more easily."

It's a mistake to think all guides are super nice and sweet. Sometimes hard lessons have to be shown and when you can see through that you move forward.

As to the alien thing, all I will say about that for now is this. Even they have the good, bad, ugly and beautiful among them. Even some of them are searching for the same spiritual guidance you are. They are as diverse as is humanity so be careful clumping them all together. As for believing in them, what's to believe, you either 'know' they exist or you don't. No one is perfect, that's just what we all think we need.

So far you are asking a lot of great questions and you questioning your own thoughts and beliefs. That puts you on the right track.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 05, 2017, 22:15:32
Well I do have some experience that leads to a certain suspicion of alien contact.
Once I had a lucid dream how I was in an alien spacecraft and wandered above my town. It felt kind of realistic. It began how my soul was transported to the bed of my village, where I've had experiences of fearing aliens after reading a scary book, and then I got the association with a guy who had told me I was being contacted through the 4th channel :? Then I found myself in the craft.
Next time I had this very very vivid dream which I felt was different from an ordinary dream where I visited an alien planet full of many beautiful crystals. A blonde alien met me and gave me some sort of syntetic chocolate.
Then, this one was sooo real, I even can't. I had a sleep paralysis and I was fully aware that I got spirited away. Then my brain was put in some sort of device which controlled some sort of impulses completely, I felt a certain electric flow course on it, and there were some sort of mathematical numbers re-arranging (I can not explain the feel to you completely). However, I do feel some sort of the same thing every day in a very OCD way (ugh, it's so abstract, how do I describe it), that's why the experience was so powerful, it was as if they either caused it or scrutinized this brain process the occurance of which is unknown to me up to this day - with the massive visualisations and arrangements of random things in ways that make me see fissures or holes that as if hurt me inside of my brain.
The next time in a sleep paralysis an alien showed his face on about 3 centimeters from mine. It seemed like the classical profile of a grey alien. I would have freaked out but his eye seemed so intelligent and spiritually rich it comforted me. The eye was starry and dreamy.
Then I had these visualisations of all sorts of reptiles and frogs and fishes runnig on my spine as if in some sort of a ritual. Then I heard voices of alien crystal skulls threatening me and I had to negotiate with these aliens in order to convince them not to destroy human kind. They were not very convinced. So far they haven't destroyed  human kind.  :roll: What freaked me out too was that I heard some mythological reference and when I googled it, it turned out to be correct. Besides, I don't believe this that much because I am pretty sure I ha(d)(ve) some sort of psychicall ilness as well, so it might have been my own imagination gone wild as well. I went to the psychiatrist and after a course of treatment now this visualisations happen far more rarely, so maybe they are not a real contact but my own creation. It was weird with all the frogs though, the algoritms I saw were beyond my comprehension, they were so complicated I can not even retell them now.
And then, a couple of days ago in a sleep paralysis an alien showed his arm to me, then he spirited me away to my village where we had a little chat on my bed and he talked in a very scientific way and showed me that I had a baby? from him. Which may be a soul baby, or  I don't know. It definitely felt like astral projection.
the point is, I know sleep paralysis may not be what they seem, so I wonder whether these have been real contacts or a product of myself.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 06, 2017, 02:02:07
Well what do you believe are they your imagination or a form of reality?
Many people here have stories written somewhere here of visiting aliens both good and bad, I have even had a few myself with both good and bad.

I asked what you were afraid of so now ask why your afraid of those things...
An example... what are you afraid of.. Snakes... why are you afraid of snakes... because they might bite me and could be poisonous... valid reason but most snakes are actually none aggressive and unless cornered or protecting their nest they would rather avoid confrontation... so why are you afraid of something that is more afraid of you... well someone told me bad things about them, or I read about how dangerous they were in a book.
A simple example but the idea is to break down what you are afraid of and so that you come to understand and possibly no longer be afraid of it. Most things we fear are things we don't fully understand and most things we fear we were told to fear in some way shape or form.

If ever having an experience and you don't want something done request that it not be done and request it with certainty and authority. There is a strong rule of free will any good entity will accept what you want and back off and the "bad" ones will then try by force or fear but if you know with certainty even most of them will back off to. Usually they continue to plague people because they are uncertain of what they want if I want them to go away but in the deep of my mind I doubt what I want or have a bit of fear then they will persist. Kind of like what that one person said to you in a past experience "I can not help you if you don't want to help yourself". You have to truly want to be free of something to be free of it.

Something you can try to do is meditation. Here some instructions that I think could help you, they are simple but can help.
Sit down or lie down, any comfortable place / position will work. If you want to listen to some music just keep it fairly quiet but something that riles the spirit up something that you when you listen to it you can feel energy flow through you and that you feel like you can do anything imaginable. So then when you in position imagine/visualize an orb of light that is filled with energy, I tell people to pick a vibrant color of silver gold or white if they want something angelic or similar, or if they believe something more personal will work pick their favorite color in case of dark colors like say black imagine/visualize that it has a shine like a glossy paint job on a car. Imagine/visualize this orb in the center of your body some people pick the location of their heart. Now imagine/visualize that "this energy is the highest, purest form of good and love, that it is of divine order that no evil, can enter this orb, it will protect from all harm and danger."  whats in "" you can softly say to yourself a few times it helps. Now imagine/visualize this orb increasing in size that begins to fill and surround your body that soon it becomes large enough that it completely surrounds you that you can stretch and move about and no part of you will leave this energy. You can keep repeating whats in the "" as you do this some people prefer to. Imagine/visualize that this energy is attached to you from where it started so when you move about it moves about. And that is it for the first time you do the meditation, every time after words that you do this meditation you can repeat the "" but all you have to do now is visualize/imagine that it become stronger.

So then the next time your having an experience try to visualize that energy being with you surrounding you just do it with certainty. Any entity with poor motives or that is bad will flee from it any entity that is good will remain so then you will know who to trust. Also say to yourself as you go about daily that this divine energy is with you and that it protects you. You will find that even in the physical world it works also. people around you will begin to act and show their divine and pure sides to you, love breeds love, hate breeds hate.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Bloodshadow on February 06, 2017, 03:25:33
from what I read the first one that made you frightful of aliens was something you created from reading that book. the second one that felt real and you ate chocolate was possibly real aliens contacting you maybe from the planet you are from and the chocolate you tasted was probably their way of getting you to remember where you come from and or it was probably one of you favs, or they just read your mind and knew you liked chocolate, the experiences from there came about because you delved more into the the subject more and more, opening you up to contact from other type of alien beings rather bad or good, but most would be from your own creation cause you are so fixated on it, that your subconscious is on over load with it. you need to change your mind set on things a bit.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 06, 2017, 11:27:06
I didn't get fixated on aliens since the last occurance, when frogs and others stuff visualised themselves in a ritual and alien voices freaked me out with their threats (the irony is I believe the least in this occurance but it still managed to traumatize me :D). Back when the alien first appeared near my head or when my brain felt scrutinized I hadn't thought of aliens in years. But lately, after the shock I lived, I have been thinking about it quite a lot.
Thank you for the advice, Phalanx. I will try the technique you described. The problem was my visualisation abilities were 'stolen' I mean they happened on their own and I couldn't change them. But now it's way better and I actually manage to visualise on my own as well, so I will definitely try it.
As for my fears, I had deleted them out of my probably silly superstition, but then I realised you probably didn't manage to read them so I brought them back in the post.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 06, 2017, 13:21:09
I've tried it. It made me feel cozy and secure. Will repeat it again. :)

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 07, 2017, 04:42:51
I do have a question though... What are you looking for?
You have gone to lengths to give us past experiences, ones that I would define as probably personal and usually people only do that when they have questions or are looking for answers or something, and yet you have rarely asked anything. And from reading through them all it sounds like you got questions you want answered and/or are looking for something.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 07, 2017, 13:25:00
I just need to conspire with someone else with non-phycical experience about the meanings of certain signs of the stories. Maybe I just hoped that something would click with someone else and they would be able to elaborate on a certain part of my story, probably by telling their own, or giving some possible interpretations. And If someone else met someone of the 'angels' and other beings, I would be interested to hear what happened to them. I would be glad to hear every assossiation that my story makes: impressions, personal experience... I am very intrigued by the part where the boy warned me "I would fuel their machine" and when that morning I heard a voice in the sleep paralysis, saying "It is about the deal, you will see". Whose machine? Is it possible that I had really made a deal with some creatures before I came to this life and my purpose was to fuel ... their machine? Because indeed, what's happening to me sometimes does seem like I have fueled a lot of soul material to someone. I just hoped that maybe someone would have some alternative ideas, which, so far you have been giving me, guys. :P
Besides, after going to the psychiatrist, everyone would just treat me as having problems, which may be partially right, but I am surrounded by people who absolutely deny AP and everything like that so I needed a company that would listen differently.
Sometimes it is so difficult to live with so many experiences that people don't have the interest or belief to listen to, so I just really needed to share it with someone who is interested in the afterlife, astral projection and 'the paranormal'.
Even if someone just says 'okay, that's a fair story' I would still be happy. :)

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 07, 2017, 14:00:19
So I will talk a little bit more about Azrael.
One next time, in a sleep paralysis I would hear a male voice that was very deep in my ear and would threaten & mock me. I got afraid of it. Then I saw a black robe nearby me and I knew it was Azrael. I begged him to free me from the sleep paralysis and I heard a deep voice "Wake up" and I woke up.
Next time in a sleep paralysis I also got afraid of a black figure and I called for him to come then I felt embraced and I felt his presence behing my back, seeing with nonphysical eyes something like his dimmed face and he reassured me "Calm down, I'm here".
So far so good. But I have been having suspicious episodes with him as well.
Once in a sleep paralysis I tried to hug him but it seemed like he played around with me and wouldn't let me touch him, he would only let me wander around in dismay and he told me "You have no idea what is actually going on''.
Another time he appeared behind my back and hugged me but then I felt he was looking in the other direction as if he was exchaning a mute message with someone. I felt he was emanating  a bit of hostility and was hiding something from me. This won't leave me alone, wondering what it could be that he is holding back.
And then there was this brutal episode where in a sleep paralysis he appeared like the Grim Reaper with a long tongue and started pressing me with it and it hurt soo much. I got super upset and started asking him "hey, why are you doing this to me'', not being able to believe he would do this to me after helping me?? but he would only continue and I felt his derision and then just before releasing me from the sleep paralysis, either he or someone else with a very familiar deep voice said "Also Jesus impaled you''. Now ever since I can't stop wondering about the meaning of this message but it seems like everything that happened to me is a part of a bigger picture and every now and then they would give me a little hint that drives me insane because it just makes me feel more curious.
Then another time he also appeared in a sleep paralysis in his form of the Grim Reaper. First he spirited me away to the street where he appeared in a car but just about I was to enter it, he drove off and it seemed like 'a sign of something' that was important in my life, like, a metaphor. Then I saw him fly in the room and he disappeared. I've NEVER seen a figure more detailed in a sleep paralysis. It was not dimmed, fogged, it was absolutely crystal clear, as if I was wide awake and a person entered the room physically, with all the details a normal person has when they appear in a room. I was absolutely astonished.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 08, 2017, 02:57:57
I have dealt with some similar things... When it comes to the elvenking I would have to ask a friend that knows about that.
 I know plenty of things about angels but to a degree when you learn that you are a part of universal consciousness meaning you are god just that we, all these small parts being you and "other people" are trying to make our way back to source or unity to be one again you find you don't need angels, you are everything and everything is you.

Now the boy claiming fuel for the machine, note this is my take on it... A lot of beings in and around this physical reality run off a lot of poor emotions... anger, fear, depression and people that are usually spiritually asleep give these off more than anyone else. And these entities follow people around in their lives. From what you have told you have dealt with depression and beating your self up over things, you were able to remember these experiences but at the time being asleep to a degree spiritually and not knowing and living the way you did you gave off a lot of emotional energy and its fuel for "bad" entities... kind of back to likes attract hate hate love love. That is why I gave you that meditation if you keep it up you will find yourself emitting better energies with little thought or effort and things will begin to match that. You will no longer be fuel for things that feed off of poor emotions.
This is represented to you as "fuel for a machine" because the mind can't contemplate or understand things that are un-worldly so the mind will work to find a way of representing it, so you get worldly things used to explain things un-worldly. The more experiences you have and the more you begin to learn the mind finds easier and easier ways to represent things so that it is more understandable. Until then you can have the oddest experiences imaginable. A lot of my dreams and experiences when things began to change for me where harry potter related. Magic was the easiest way of describing how some things worked due to my understanding at the time. I have since grown and now I have seen things that I cannot even begin to describe in ways that a normal person would understand.

Anyone that doesn't abide by the rules of reality or whats accepted as the social norm are the ones that other say are, having problems and need to go see a psychiatrist or something another. Now I am not a doctor and do not advise things against doctors orders, I am not going to say there's no such thing as a mental problem but I do believe how ever if you can discern whats physical and whats not and keep yourself grounded you can get along with it all just fine. I know plenty of people who do, they are probably quite insane but they know how to get along so that everyone thinks they are normal and that they don't have issues with life. But I do agree there are extreme cases where people need help and usually those end up because of bad bouts of drug use or extreme emotional trauma or such like that.

I am lucky to have 2 friends that have history in magic and seeing ghosts, but when it comes to astral projection and spiritual growth and the similar I cant really talk to them because in my stomach I get this feeling when I want to have a conversation about it that says I have surpassed them in that area. And I have tried having conversations with them and came quite surprised at how asleep they really were. So I have ended up here myself, though I still enjoy physical conversations more than over a computer, I like human interaction.

But I will say I believe in everything you say, those things you experienced so whats to say they are not real.

I haven't read the post about az yet.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 08, 2017, 13:25:54
If it's not a secret, what do you know about the angels? I am very curious.
It is true that the relationship with the beings I've encountered has been very bipolar, which kind of matches my own reactions towards myself - both love and hatred so in a way the beings 'mirror' the way I've been treating myself. As for spiritual growth, I can say I have been blinded by the self-hatred other people have been directing to me until I finally adopted it. Now I've finally released it and started being more self-loving so I have less bad experiences and I feel way better. Yet sometimes unhealthy visualisations and 'visitations' re-emerge.
Can you describe the way you felt your spiritual awakening?
Another thing that happened to me was, once, I woke up from a dream, and, in something like a paralysis I hear this super amplified devilish voice say "I put a part of your soul in God".

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 09, 2017, 08:11:58
Lets start with... I was visited by a friend today and I asked what they specifically knew about azreal, according to them azreal is believed to be a fallen angel that at one point took the blame so that Lucifer could try to get away with and do what he wanted. This is why his personality is somewhat where are one point he is good the other bad, usually he shows up when people blame them selves for something.

In a bare bones Now as I believe it angels are just essentially spirit guides, helpers or messengers, they are mostly only spoken of in Judaism and Christianity when it comes to religions, else where they are just considered spirit guides and similar. The original meaning for angel in Hebrew is messenger. So if you were to read the bible and pretend that all the interactions with angels were in an astral projections (which ironically just about all instances in the bible that mentioned meeting an angel happened after laying down to sleep or being exhausted) it would make sense that they would be what we call a spirit guide, but since back in the day they classified things off of what they knew so if they had a bad experience they claimed they dealt with a demon which many still do today, or if something good happened it was an angel someone that has sent me a message from god, but today people well either say angel or spirit guide or some entity that was just being helpful. An example a story of monroe's for those else reading this will know... he went to sleep one night and had a projection when he saw around he said little demons what he thought at the time were crawling all over him and he pleaded to anyone to come and save him when a figure that he couldn't make out entered the room and picked them off. To some this would be an angel others an entity just passing through... He later had an experience where he saw this again but he was the figure and was picking his cats off his past self.
And that's how I view them as helpers, not really angel like more human-ish with some degree of authority, or knowledge in things I don't know about. But that is a simple scrapped down idea of what they are because I could list a lot of info about them but that is a lot to write so it would be better to say if you have any specific questions about them I will answer those and go from there.

My "awakening" as it would be callled requires a lot of past prior-awakening details so bear with me.
I grew up in a heavily christian family fathers side most ended up preachers, and mothers side was a big deal to go to church every weekend especially when visiting grandparents... Over time I fell out of that and one night I began to ponder heaven and hell and nothingness, mind you I was around 13 at this time. So I questioned what if heaven and hell didn't exist well that means there is nothingness afterwards, So I tried to imagine what nothing was. I became so scared that night that I slept on the floor of my parents bedroom it was the only comforting place I could find at the time and even then it was hard to sleep I was fearful of death, I was afraid that heaven didn't exist and that was the alternative and in the case of nothing I would even take going to hell over that. The reason being because I thought of that, the idea I was taught at the time you live in fire for ever in pain fire and brimstone. Well after time pain becomes numbing and you cant feel it no more and you would be there for eternity sooner or later it will all be numb and then who cares, So hell really isn't hell in that method at least. So that raised many more questions. And that was all in one night roughly. So the next day I began studying for a few years every other religion I could read about and everything I wanted to know what came afterwards and how things worked. I learned other ideas of hell where its not really fire and brimstone it is reliving the worst moments in life again and again over and over all the regrets pains and bad things even then after a time you can become emotionally numb and then it doesn't work. So then what, I wanted proof and eastern religions and spirituality's had more physical proof to what they taught than any other. At the time like any other physical person I was looking for immortality in a strange way, because if we just happened to come about to exist only to live for 80ish years or an average lifespan then die and that's it, then there really is no point to anything. So I learned about just about all religions and such teachings, from Christianity, Norse, Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Druidism, Taoism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Judaism, Shinto, Islam, and that's just to name a few. Well when I started reading the eastern ones, Buddhism, and Hinduism they talked about reincarnation, that the soul reincarnates again and again each time with a new purpose and lesson to learn, sometimes it takes thousands of life times to learn on lesson. The interesting part is that there is actual evidence of reincarnation, I believe I wrote a story or two here, where kids proved who they were in former lives is all sorts of ways. So this got me to thinking if reincarnation is real then heaven and hell can't exist, how can it? What they taught instead is that there is purgatory, if you lead a good life you can relax for a while and then move on to you next life when ready if you are bad then you are punished according to your deeds then you have your next life.
Also looked into science and consciousness... within the last 70years or so since the 50s scientist have proven universal consciousness the things taught in most eastern religions, but your not going to hear this in a mainstream form because if you did Judaism, Christianity, and Islam would be outed... and since Catholics have control in many matters in the west and Europe they wont let that be they would lose power.
 All this till I was around 16 and by then I didn't read much on astral projection I heard about it but never read much about symptoms of it. Around 16 I fell asleep again spiritually or mentally, and when bad things happen I did what I always did because I was accustomed to it... dear lord save, me help me, oh god in heaven. Yet I know better I had learned so much where all religions came from that they all taught the same story at their core even Judaism, Christianity, and Islam Judaism got their stuff from Egypt, Christianity took their old testament from Judaism leaving out some books and adding in the new testament and the teachings of Jesus that are actually teachings of other gods and deities, like Horus, Osiris, and Ra from Egypt, and and even other guru's and teachers of eastern religions, ever took a good look at what he teaches sounds like things you would learn from a Tibetan monk, and Islam believes that Muhammad is the savior not Jesus.. aside from those differences those 3 teach the same thing... But the majority of the differences come down to the changes of language and culture... mostly. So I had learned of universal consciousness and of all these other things and as I said before I fell asleep, I went back to what I had grown to be accustomed to when bad things happened... dear lord help me, oh god in heaven, etc I made it no where. At 17 or so though I moved on to "magic" things more paranormal ideas of ghosts, magic spells, tarot, crystals, and the such where at one point I tried to contact the dead once, short story I tried to contact the spirit of a Japanese individual that has been dead for about 400 years, nothing happened, dealt with sleep paralysis a hand full of times with varying experiences I just thought of them dreams. And then I really fell asleep spiritually and mentally, no longer dealt with religion or magic I was a normal person.

Now I don't remember how old I was I think 22... hmmm... but back in 2012 in November I was helping my grand mother move, I had to sleep in her new house too keep an eye out for anyone that would try to break in and steal things as boxes were being moved idea was to have a car in the drive way to deter any would be thieves. So quiet new place not accustomed to, mind was active jumping at all noises but physically I was exhausted so I had symptoms of astral projections the vibrations and loud noises, but I had never come across anything in my readings so I didn't know what was happening, I thought I was dying. I got up read the bible a bit, tried praying even sanctified my grandmothers new house to "ward off evil" spirits and things of that nature. Even started looking up health problems and stuff like that perfectly fine. So this goes on for about 2 weeks night after night, I get back home then I ask a friend that deals in magic and such and they where like you were almost having an astral projection, though their knowledge of such stuff was short.
 So lo and behold the internet I found out more on astral projection that connected into more of universal consciousness and religions again. So I awoke to it all again and I went back through everything I learned before and really really sat down and thought about things how they worked and put together by myself most of the time because at the time though I used the internet I hadn't joined any forums or anything like that. Since then due to life its been an on and off again thing and then I joined this place because every time I tried to consciously try and astral project I was met with a shadow entity of my own and I needed other peoples view and my friends though more of oh I have a bad spirit following me around or something similar and need to sage and do all sorts of strange things. Even from all I learned I still had problem that I probably knew the answers to but I was spiritually drowsy or still asleep and my view was kind of narrow, I am an open minded person but when I was confronted with this new problem I looked upon in narrowly. And that wasn't to long ago I joined this place back in April 2016.
So a few months after that... now I live in the US on the east coast in Florida yes make you jokes I don't mind I am not with the general populous when it comes to the way society is around here. But in October when I think it was when we had the big hurricane swing up the east coast and caused a lot of damage in the north everyone I knew and everyone I met was worried that oh its going to hit Florida. And I stood there amidst all these people in a state of knowing, that is it. I just knew that the storm was not going to hit Florida. And something clicked, this state of knowing is it, this state was calm, it was peaceful there was no fear no worry it was like going with the flow. There were no band of trumpets, no loud ah ha moment, just peace. That is the only way I can describe it.
That if it was, was my awakening. The state doesn't last all the time it comes and goes, when it comes I become aware as I would say of colors and splendid things, I can just about sit and watch the wind blow a tree in slow motion, its like having strange extra senses. But over all less things tend to bug me, things are more peaceful over all. Since then I have had far less problems with astral projection and my aims and my view is far less narrow I have lately been able to use all that I learned quite effectively. In simple terms I call it a state of knowing. And then again any of those times that I dove in and began to search about could have been awakenings also, just in different ways.

Any ways that would be an over all view of my story.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 09, 2017, 14:09:12
About Azrael, I did put a lot of blame on myself, so it may be connected.
Wow that is an interesting story. When you described this kind of peace,  I adopted it for a moment and I did feel it. I have been so serene for a whole year in my life, every day way light and I would marvel at the cosmic without any fear or bad emotions. It's like going to the beach in the summer and becoming one with the water, the waves, the sand. A bit like "Hakuna Matata" from the Lion King. Too bad I've drifted away from it... but sometimes it's difficult to hold it after a trauma.
Where can I read about your astral projections, if you have shared your experience here, of course?
Anyway, from the religions I have always felt the Eastern ones are more enlightened. There is something about the God of the Christians, so personified it seems impossible. And hell seems more like a bad-thoughts-trip in the astral plane. It's just way too outdated, people before couldn't imagine an omnipresence that is not humanlike. To me the omnipresence is either a higer consciousness where enlightened beings have connected in a way undescribable, and probably a higher self of us is still connected there, or is just the whole energy of the universe, and no specific god in general. When I try to imagine what 'going back to the common consciousness' means, it gets a bit difficult for me to fathom it, but somewhere deep inside it resonates in a way beyond words. When I try to feel the Christian god, instead, I feel desolation and sadness. A separate being is automatically escluded as a God, because in the astral we can all create, so, even if more enlightened, it's still not the omnipresence. I think that people who believe so fanatically in the Christian or Muslim god, together create him as an image, so in a way it is a living being in the astral plane. I don't understand its structure completely but I think that people who are fierce believers will end up in a place similar to their expectations. I just wonder whether a more advanced being would pretend to be their God, or it is just a fabricated image leading them as a 'breathing' icon sprouting from their own consciousness. I kind of know what it feels like, because I have believed fiercely in Michael, Azrael and others and at some point it turned out they may not be real but before I got suspicious, they seemed completely alive and real. It is a shock how something that moves and talks may turn out to be unreal.
*still eager to hear about what your friend has to say about the evenking :P*/

I will tell a story where Michael comforted me and helped me relax before a test. Before I went to sleep, I was feeling most horrible and stressed. Then in the dream I suddenly entered this atmosphere of relief and I saw his face, with blonde hair and blue eyes. He was smiling. I felt reassured, that everything was okay, that I had his support. Then I saw a test in the place where I had put his icon, "How to treat an angel?" a) burn an angel b)kill an angel c)torture an angel d) love an angel. I said "That's an easy one! And I cicled d). I think this was both a joke because it was so hilariously funny and a lesson because at the time I was treating myself badly. It was probably also a joke connected with an early memory of mine, when I was four and my cousin made something like a radio program recording on a cassette we had, and he asked me "Which ball do you play football with?" a) a ball for football b) a ball for baseball c) a ball for volleyball and I answered wrongly three times! first time I said baseball, second time I said volleyball.. then when there was only the football one left... I said volleyball again! :D *that's what stress did to me haha ~ 4-year-olds-problem*

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 10, 2017, 02:36:06
Who says you cant play football with a volleyball, I used to play it with a soccer ball because we had no football.

My experiences so far are in the dream section as a dream journal. At some point you will learn or find out that dreams and Astral projections, Obe's are all the same thing its just how you got to the state and your degree of awareness. Like an astral Projection would be spontaneous and its what everyone aims for. A lucid dream is becoming aware while inside a dream but is still non physical, and regular dreams though remembered are where you don't become aware that you are in the non physical.
Since still most of my current experiences are of the dream/Lucid dream variety I add them in the dream journal. When they become more spontaneous then I will kick off a "projection" journal. But I have been a bit lazy when it comes to adding to my journal even though it wasn't started that long ago I will be sure to get to it.

That feeling of "going back to the common consciousness" is more like unity. Imagine that you are god a figurehead or just a vast store of conscious energy and you decide to learn explore or do something.. so you break pieces off, give them a small homing beacon and send them out to learn and you make earth and the physical reality and multitudes of others. So this small part of you goes off and gets lost, dealing with physical life you fall asleep and have life after life with out waking up and you forget that who you were, where you came from and that you have a homing beacon or even how to use it. So over time sources calls out come home, love, unity, and parts of this message get through and it gets you to begin to slowly wake up and think and over time you remember where you came from this is akin to spiritual awakenings. Soon you learn how to use your beacon again which as current understandings is worked with emotions, if the feeling is that of love and unity for all your heading the right way. Along the way other beings or people a bit farther along making it home help out in example, Guides or Angels or what fits the term.

I cant get along with the monarch view that is imposed by the Christians, You are telling me that this god so loving wants you to go to war and kill other people who don't believe in him. Or the ultimate thing I don't like He puts children above all else they are innocent in gods eyes, pure... yet all illnesses, diseases, cancers and such affect children more than anyone else. That is no loving god, and definitely not a god I would want to worship.
However the teachings of Jesus are all good, just leave out revelations that is not an original book, that was an extra add in.
How ever if you do take the rest of the bible and read it as though the stories were teaching a discipline then it is not as bad as it is if you think of it like history.

But the best part in the old testament hands down... Exodus 3:13 "And Moses said unto God, Behold, when I come unto the children of Israel, and shall say unto them, The God of your fathers hath sent me unto you; and they shall say to me, What is his name? what shall I say unto them? And God said unto Moses, I AM THAT I AM"
That would mean every time you say I AM in a good or bad way you are calling upon god who by definition is me or yourself or who ever says it. So if you say "I AM sick" then you hurt god, yourself. And there is not one god everyone is god by that senses. And it is back upped later by Jesus.....John 10:31 "Then the Jews took up stones again to stone him. Jesus answered them, Many good works have I shewed you from my Father; for which of those works do ye stone me? The Jews answered him, saying, For a good work we stone thee not; but for blasphemy; and because that thou, being a man, makest thyself God. Jesus answered them, Is it not written in your law, I said, Ye are gods?"

If your read the teachings of Jesus they sound quite eastern monkish, and that would be because some of his stories are also told elsewhere by other guru's and prophets of other religions. Over all and even with the bad ideas of it the bible is not something to be thrown away, at its core it teaches correctly. All religions tell the same story in a way that conforms with their society or way of thinking, its like changing languages, in one apple means what we know of as an apple but in another an apple could mean an orange... so when we are thinking of something red they are thinking of something orange, and its these differences that make them all seems so different, but at the core they all tell the same stories and teachings just in different ways.

I have some information about the elvenking and will post it later balancing time right now.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 10, 2017, 08:26:05
Okay I know about fairies but I had to ask my friend about elves. Elves come from many different realms, so there are kings, queens, princes and all the sort for each realm, so unless you know what realm specifically the prince is from there is little information to be given. Now elves in general are secretive and stand offish about things kind of aloof... if you make a promise with them they take it very seriously, if you break the promise they tend hold a terrible grudge and they take it word for word. So an example, if I promised that I and my brother would show up on Thursday and only I showed up I broke the promise, as "I" made the promise. If both me and my brother made the promise together and he doesn't show up it is still the same I made a promise that both of us would be there so I broke it and so did my brother. They take promises, deals, pacts quite literal.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 10, 2017, 13:47:58
I am not sure which realm the Elvenking is from. But if he really 'sentenced me to hell', then ... I must have broken a promise. :D
About Jesus, there is a story I can tell. In a dream I saw white soul energy which was supposed to be him. I was in a room that depresed me, surrounded by many artificial mannequins and I would isolate myself in this place that was bad for me. His energy approached me and consumed all that was bad, transforming it into light and healing me in order to help me free myself from the influence of the room. Then he told me to go out and then in the dream I went to a karaoke bar with friends and I felt better.
I am very curious what this "Jesus also stabbed you'' means. Sometimes I feel like he truly exists but on the other hand, he was just a man who supposedly lived 2000 years ago. What if he doesn't even have memory of who he was back then? :D

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on February 11, 2017, 02:27:01
When I moved on into things about the nonphysical or astral I moved on from fairies and elves and such fantasy things not to say they don't exists, but you find that power from such things no longer works and the power such things hold over you is gone, if I am god or a part of him in sense how is it that such things affected me, come to find out because I left them? If you believe they sentenced you to hell then your belief that they have power gives them it, but if you believe he is blowing hot wind then all he can do is fill a balloon, he cant do anything else.
I had an experience kind of like sleep paralysis where I was restrained and couldn't move surrounded by at the time I thought could have well been demons and they mocked and laughed at at me when I tried to call out for god and jesus. "look at him try to call out to his false god" or something like that, Basically I was told they didn't exist and laughed at. If this entity so readily mocked god what does that mean? If I was such an thing I would be to afraid to mock god due to what could happen. But here this thing was laughing and mocking away, no angel, no shinning light, nothing came to stop it or to help me.
But when I learned in universal consciousness, source and unity and that we are all apart of it then a new power grew, I no longer looked outside for help I looked inside, knowing I was one with all that I had the power, ever since then such experiences have never occurred again.

I say Christ existed and exists but not in a form of a man no, in a state of consciousness yes. If you were to go through the teachings of jesus and liken them to a discipline to achieve a state of well being or enlightenment that state would be considered Christ consciousness. Even other religions agree in this form of consciousness and some even call it Christ consciousness. If I find it I will post it but there is a video on youtube from a Hindu guru who said that all religions are the same at their core yes. That the core is purposely buried away for some reason or another which I don't recall been a while since I seen the video. But he continued saying Christ is not a man but a state of consciousness if you were to get your mind to be of that like Christs then you have found the form of enlightenment that everyone typically looks for when they think enlightenment. And that came from a Hindu practitioner. I have even heard the same from Buddhist's where they actually mention Christ in such away.
When you begin to get more into the astral stuff you will find a lot of people talking about source and universal consciousness in some way shape or form and some that universal consciousness or the good side of it Christ consciousness.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on February 11, 2017, 22:08:55
When entities first started approaching me, my method was to try 'to get to know them'. I was astonished at the idea that there was an otherwordly creature visiting me and that's why I was so interested in them, I treated them like I treat human beings, only they were not from this realm. When time started passing, I noticed that their nature was very sporadic and contradictory so first I thought of it as some sort of treason towards me then at a certain point I asked myself: "What if they are not real, what if they are just symbols?" and in a way it is true that they have always kind of reflected certain situations from my life, and maybe inner conflicts. OR maybe they are real and unpleasant entities I should just not pay attention to, hhahaha. :D
As for Christ, I have felt his presence when I first started occupying myself with these entities, it was just before that fatal Easter when I started hearing the Dama Pika voices, it was as if he wanted to warn me but I said "I choose to try trust these entities"and then it was as if he was some kind of sad (duh) and he withdrew because there was nothing more he could do to protect me because I would still have an unhealthy interest in them (not in Dama Pika, though, in the other ones... but I feel my whole focus was unhealthy).  It was as if he meant to say "you will grow out of it''.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on March 24, 2017, 15:38:23
Ookay, so a couple of new occurances have been happening lately. First I was visited by something like aliens. I mean, it was outright aliens, if the case isn't that something else took the shape of aliens especially to scare me. They looked like the greys and came out of the walls like in Silent Hill 4 (it creeps and scares the hell out of me), then another one took me by the foot and started licking it, then another one came through the door and pretended to give me my morning pill. After this sleep paralysis I've spent nights of horror being afraid to fall asleep, hoping that no one would enter my door the next moment. I mean, I've always dreamt of visiting an alien spaceship but still, I don't want visitors just popping up in my room in the middle of the night. XD
And then yesterday it was very interesting. In a first sleep paralysis there was something with a very huge thongue that started licking my hand and it felt like my hand was burning. Then I woke up and after falling asleep again, a Chinese man (I guess the same entity having taken a Chinese form that resembles my ex-boyfriend whom I detest) approached me and started moving his finger on my skin and it made me have this burning sensation again. It was kind of scary. Then I asked him whether Archangel Michael and Azrael were real and he responded me "yes". which may be a lie, as well, though. Then all of a sudden I heard angelic singing in my head and I felt the presence of Michael or someone who pretended to be him. He supposedly chased the creature and said "You always do such things to her". Then the creature pretended to be my mother who wanted to give me a book about Slava Servyukova? And then it pretended to be Azrael leaving my room. This entity has come so often and the style is always the same: always taking the form of my relatives and rushing through the door to scare me, pinching me, mocking me and in general, I wonder why he is always abusing me like that.
Then I were left alone with Michael and we shared a moment in silence then he visualised a tunnel with a sign "Warner Bros productions" because the character from Fantastic Beasts and where to find them reminds me of him, and I felt like I went through this tunnel and I woke up in the room.
It was a very subliminal moment for me. Could it be that Michael is real? But then, why did I have the slight feeling that he didn't really chase the creature, that they were both mocking me? Could it be that he pretended to defend me but in fact they are always playing around with me? Who are they and what do they want from me...? This is not a question for you guys, I know there ain't a way you could know the answer, I am just thinking out loud.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Subtle Traveler on March 24, 2017, 17:00:50
Ookay, so a couple of new occurances have been happening lately. First I was visited by something like aliens. I mean, it was outright aliens, if the case isn't that something else took the shape of aliens especially to scare me. They looked like the greys and came out of the walls like in Silent Hill 4 (it creeps and scares the hell out of me), then another one took me by the foot and started licking it, then another one came through the door and pretended to give me my morning pill. After this sleep paralysis I've spent nights of horror being afraid to fall asleep, hoping that no one would enter my door the next moment. I mean, I've always dreamt of visiting an alien spaceship but still, I don't want visitors just popping up in my room in the middle of the night. XD

hey Boyana ...

I had an observation about your first experience.

It sounds like the alien stuff is in your subconscious. The reason I say that is the aliens seem to be 'following a narrative' ... it is like its a story they are following (not engaging) ... this may be from the movie you watched and were very fearful of. The subconscious does not care whether it's real or not ... it just wants the movie story to continue to play out.

Fear can be a persistent disruption of our experiences. Maybe leave the scary movies alone for a while and see what happens?

btw ... one thing that I really like about your experiences is that you remember them ... you have good recall ... it is also vivid and very well detailed. I am reminded of this, this morning because I had 4 or 5 dreams last night, but I only remembered one this morning when I eventually wrote things down in my journal after getting some coffee.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on March 24, 2017, 17:09:18
I also sometimes think it may just be my subconsciousness. It always follows a similar pattern, a rush through the door, imitating my relatives or something I consider scary and finally - hurting me physically by pressing my body. But when I heard the voice telling me "you always do it to her" I started considering that it might be an entity that has access to my fears and intentionally imitates them.
I haven't been watching scary movies for a while! Thing is, scary things have been imprinted in my mind very much and the print seems to have long-term effect on me. I have watched a scary movie for these greys as a child and fear of them never, ever left. Not that I have been scared of them every day, but when this fear arose again it was with the same stength as initially.
By the way, I ALWAYS have bad experiences. I don't remember having one without at least a glimpse of something morbid about it...

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Subtle Traveler on March 24, 2017, 22:46:51
I also sometimes think it may just be my subconsciousness. It always follows a similar pattern

Realize that you are not your past ...

The pattern you mention is what I called 'a narrative' above ... this is the story (pattern) that the subconscious wants to re-tell. When dream repeats, it is a sign of the same lessons.

I have not asked this before. Do you meditate, Boyana?

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on March 24, 2017, 23:23:50
Outside the aliens a tad I agree that it is subconscious, most of it has to do with fears, some of it you are questioning yourself and you beliefs "I asked him whether Archangel Michael and Azrael were real"...( they exist and by many names all different depending on who or what religion is telling the story... and some of it getting over similar problems feelings or the like about old boyfriends. Though I also see a lot of how shall I say sexual frustration to a degree its a common occurrence in just about all of your posts. Now I find that to be a rather private manner so I am not going to ask that you describe anything about that but it is something you have to question about yourself like how your questioning your other beliefs.

Now I don't believe those that you portray in your experiences are really angels because their actions are not angel like at all, but are rather other beings that are playing the part because you are gullible. A harsh way to put it slightly, you believe in angels and I stroll along sense this belief and play the part of an angel because I know you will listen to me because you think I am an angel because I said so but since I am not really an angel I do my normal un-angel like things... a wolf in sheep clothing.

I had some experiences/dreams long ago though an "angel" never took the part but something would take over family members and attack me quite viciously. I got over it by understanding that at our greatest everything is love, I love them and they love me, they are family and wouldn't cause me any harm or problems and nor I to them. Though I am a bit strained with my family at times because we are all human I never had an experience like that again.

There is a saying based out of the bible... Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Its been rewritten in many different ways but the idea behind it is no matter how you train a child good or bad they will not depart from it.
So if your taught to fear something as a child you will just about always fear it. Now I do not agree in the fact that they will not depart from it but that it is generally hard to change from it to something else. So you feared aliens since you were a kid well it will be something that being taught as a kid will be a bit rough to get over. But at the same time you could get over it at the snap of a finger, everyone is different and they progress at their own rate.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Subtle Traveler on March 25, 2017, 01:47:48

There is a saying based out of the bible... Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Its been rewritten in many different ways but the idea behind it is no matter how you train a child good or bad they will not depart from it.

This is harsh and judgmental. First, you know nothing about Riddle's upbringing. Second, the populations of Eastern Europe have been subjected civil wars and other extreme violence for the last two decades. Many of the young people in these countries now struggle with making their adjustments from these traumas into adulthood. Their fears are often very justified considering their circumstances.

Think through what you are projecting upon others more carefully and more considerately before you post!

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on March 25, 2017, 02:33:02
I may have stepped to far, I do think it could possibly come across as harsh but not judgemental not quite but I will chalk that up to social differences of how everyone understands things differently. But I never meant harm by it and I know that I know nothing about her upbringing. I was simply trying to convey an idea about fear of aliens from childhood that it being carried from childhood may have a long hold.

I probably should have simply said that being a fear from childhood it may be hard to get over because things from child hood stick with us longer being deep seated where as things from being grown are usually rationalized out before they take hold, that is why its harder to believe and learn things as one gets older.

But we all make mistakes, everyone here comes from a different social, racial, historical backgrounds either countries apart or even being across the street from one another it is something that sits with us all and even though we all try to be generally opened minded and try to conveying messages to others about something there is to much diversity, that sooner or later unintentionally we all say something that offends, hurts, scares and the like, someone who understands things differently. It can't be helped all of the time it is bound to happen everyone is to different.

I do wish you could have asked me to rephrase it in a more civilized manner than what your message comes across as, that I may have stepped to far and that what I said can come across due to given circumstances as harsh and that it may have been an unintentional lapse of judgement on my part and that it  should be clarified.

Again I do apologize if it is harsh and the like it was unintentional, I do hope I clarified myself.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on March 25, 2017, 10:04:53
I have been questioning myself about this sexual frustration as well but the best I've come up with is that some creatures just like molesting me until they managed to traumatize me with it. It's not that I believe in the Bible, don't get me wrong, I think that most of the writings are out-dated and ridiculous. But since I have seen appearances of creatures that addressed themselves az Michael and Azrael, I thought that they might be real, apart from the bible, and even apart of the term "angels". But I do believe that some creatures may pretend to be them, so my question "Are they real?" came out mostly of despair and pessimistic hope. What I truly believe though, is that some entities like playing around with me, and I wish I could know their names and nature and why are they bothering to bully me so often at night. I mean, I havent been watching scary stories, I try to think more positively yet there is always the same scenario...
No, I don't meditate.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Subtle Traveler on March 25, 2017, 15:02:30
No, I don't meditate.

It can be very helpful. This is how Jurgen Ziewe began. The OBE's came later (after meditating for years)

Good luck to you, Boyana.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Phalanx on March 25, 2017, 21:25:25

But I do believe that some creatures may pretend to be them...

What I truly believe though, is that some entities like playing around with me, and I wish I could know their names and nature and why are they bothering to bully me so often at night.

Again I agree and think it is really coming down to subconscious and conscious beliefs now. You believe that is the way it works so it must be so. I mentioned before that you have power over them, may have missed mentioning that belief comes into play a bit. Because if you demand them to be gone and inside your fearful or questioning if they will listen they pick up on it, but if you know with out a doubt that you have that power then they will follow. I agree with Subtle travelers to try some meditation, you can do the one I offered previously in this thread or you can follow the video offered.
Just know that you are everything and everyone and everyone and everything is you, and the greatest you that you can be is love so be love.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Lumaza on March 25, 2017, 22:17:22
I have been questioning myself about this sexual frustration as well but the best I've come up with is that some creatures just like molesting me until they managed to traumatize me with it. It's not that I believe in the Bible, don't get me wrong, I think that most of the writings are out-dated and ridiculous. But since I have seen appearances of creatures that addressed themselves az Michael and Azrael, I thought that they might be real, apart from the bible, and even apart of the term "angels". But I do believe that some creatures may pretend to be them, so my question "Are they real?" came out mostly of despair and pessimistic hope. What I truly believe though, is that some entities like playing around with me, and I wish I could know their names and nature and why are they bothering to bully me so often at night. I mean, I havent been watching scary stories, I try to think more positively yet there is always the same scenario...
No, I don't meditate.
Check out this thread here. It may help you understand more about the what is happening and why. Tests, quests and challenges are abundant in the "other realms". That is basically the form of communication there.

 ...on another note though. You have mentioned this "Angel" that addresses you. A "non physical" entity can take any form it chooses to accomplish whatever it is trying to show or teach you. Examples of this: Some of us do what is called "Retrievals". (You can search more on "Retrievals" in the upper right hand Search engine). When we do one of these to attempt top help a "lost one". We may use any form at our disposal and the entire environment itself to help the "lost one". But, we can't decide anything for them. Some things we do may seem to be harsh or cruel. But sometimes they are needed to help accomplish the task at hand. Case in point. I once had a Retrieval whereas it was on a woman that was severely abused during her physical life here. I tried to do everything I could to "heal" her. But in the end, "berating" her even more was what was needed for her to finally decide to move on. Sometimes in a "Mass Retrieval" a "oppressor"
 has to be challenged as well. Retrievals come in all forms.
 Here is a great one by Szaxx:
 This is a thread I made here years ago:

 Lastly to the add to the "Elephant in the room". The sexual/lust issue. I made this post in a thread that is probably now the most frequented here on Astral Pulse. After seeing how many people viewed it, I felt that people needed to see another point of view on the issue as well.
 My post there was created on Sept 14th 2013, under a former name I used here on this Forum.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Xanth on March 26, 2017, 05:06:40

The above link for easy clicking.  Not sure why it didn't make the link clickable before.   :?

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on March 26, 2017, 11:04:28
Thank you, Lumaza, that's a nice perspective there. I will check out all the topics, they will be very useful to me! I do feel there is the element of teaching in what's happening to me, only I do not completely understand the lesson. Maybe it needs more time before I finally shape out the whole picture...

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on April 03, 2017, 17:59:47
There is a continuation with the story about the aliens.
So, I find myself during a very vivid dream in some place that seems like an operating room and I see a dog that suffered burning damage on one of the beds. There are people who are trying to save him but one of his legs bursts into flames and his eyes are decaying. It almost feels like they are not helping him, unlike the first appearance of things, but they have organized it especially so that I could see the grotesque experiment on the dog. Then I find myself before a 'doctor' and I try to explain to him some of the mental problems that I sometimes have but then something touches me on the back and I scream "Pleeease, get it off me!!" It felt like an octopus. Then the dream transforms in a sleep paralysis where yet the same alien that once spoke to me tells me "You have to give it back" I ask "give back what", he answers "Something that isn't yours'' and I wake up.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on July 30, 2017, 16:03:42
There has been a strange sequence of visitations during lucid dreams or sleep paralyses that kind of freak me out. Maybe I have already mentioned something similar but I don't remember.
So, there is always a bad entity (let's call it this way because I have no clue what it actually is) that covers up as a relative of mine. The sleep paralyses proceed with the entity rushing through the door and trying to rape me while in the form of my relative.
In lucid dreams there has been more variety before the attempt of raping. There have been times when I've had entire dialogues that seemed like normal dialogues that I could have with my deceased relatives before they transformed into the raping thing. Once the entity transformed into something that looked very demonic (not saying it's a demon - because I kind of don't believe in them anymore - it just had the exact same appearance) with a mouth like a black hole that sucked in my hands.
It's really frustrating because it kind of scares me that when I die I will face such entities. During some of the dreams my awareness was pretty high so I can definitely imagine stumbling upon such a thing when I pass on.
Once there was my grandfather who looked at me in peace, he was glowing in beautiful light and he suddenly transformed in this thing.
Another time my grandmother was looking at me in a sad and maybe a bit shocked way and then she transformed in such a thing.
There was this time when someone even told me from behind: "Do you notice it's always the same?"
Once someone told me in a sleep paralysis that when I passed on, I would get to know the meaning of all of this. But I don't think it was a spiritual guide, because there was no compassion and warmth in their words, which sounded rather cold and indifferent.
I've had a visitation when two alien-looking creatures ate? my legs and it hurt. It's like they dug a hole with their mouths in my leg and it hurt.
I dreamt someone telling me these were temporary forms that fall apart easily, but I don't know if I understood the message well.
And today I had a lucid dream where I was stuck in my bed and someone made something like an eye surgery to me and told me I suffered from symortosis. When I googled it, nothing appeared.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on July 30, 2017, 16:28:31
P.s. - I don't know. When people describe their experiences, they always tell about peaceful loving souls surrounding them, giving them guidance, about love being the main source beyond. But all I have experienced is negative. I've even dreamt Jesus mocking me once, and they describe him as a super advanced kind soul. ?? When I ask for guidance and protection, I immediately have an experience such as the ones described previously. I still try to hold on, relying on the stories of the others, but now it's been way too much and way too bad, and I'm starting to ask myself some troubling questions. What is with these attacks? Hm..
Besides, having read Szaxx's story of the bad lands and PlasmaAstralProjection's story about Howard Storm, my fear increases drastically... because bad lands do seem to be a real thing...

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on April 23, 2019, 23:17:47
I decided to share my letter to an authour that channels Archangel Michael:

“Hello again!

I finally sat at my computer. I kept telling myself to leave you in peace and that I am overwhelming you but the flow is like a hurricane, and I feel like I need to tell you these things, I am not alone in this.
I wanted to share with my, Mrs Vezane, another song that is very crucial to what is going on with me.

So, I have evoked the “devil” when I was younger, and I encountered the accumulated essence of evil, or whatever it was, just scenes of holes in repetitive geometrical figures, disgusting and disturbing imagery. I didn’t know what I was evoking back then. I was a misguided child, who wanted to discover the purity of God, felt that something was lacking but for some reason when I called the angels in the 10th grade they didn’t manifest themselves. I think I had to go through the syndrome of the “satanic youth” that just found vampires, cults and so on, cool, without really realising I just liked dark expression of the night but nothing satanic or brutal. I was infested. I think the angels wanted to study this ill thing, whatever it was, in order to .. do something. To change something, to heal some patterns.One night, I saw the imagery of lizards and other water reptilians running aroud my spine, and an eye of a crocodile manifesting itself, stealing my vision, my eyes. I saw rituals of these things inside of pyramids, like the Indians who made sacrifices, with blood flowing inside the pyramids,and on the botton people becoming pain and every form of discomfort and agony, and they on top, nourishing temselves from their youth. Then they said they were going to enter my room, something like an ant would attack me and kill me brutally, and I saw two figures (they were probaby humans but I was “possessed” and a drug addict at the time) with robes running down the stairs of the opposite building. I froze and prepared myself, did something like a theatre, accepting the truth, and waited there whole night, on my  knees, with my hands like the gesture of the lotus position, and nobody came but the bravery I had back then gave me so much confidence,as If I had withstood all the forces of “evil” or distortion on this earth and I felt strong enough, as if I could transform vast amounts of energy, because I had withstood so much pain, it was real martyrdom, I felt like the modern Jesus who suffered to cleanse and reveal patterns to the high dimensions for them to further deal, not that suffering is a good thig, but it DID unlock vastness of energy capable of transforming (now that I’ve read two of your books, I also got acqainted with the attributes of Light and thanks to you for the first time I can construct good and not ill pattterns). I also watched a series where one man had practiced meditation for such a long time at the end he burst into something unbelievable and I could feel this strength flowing through me, and I use it now for purposes of transforming the Earth as by your teachings.So as you know, the paradox with Christianity is that people go pray, cry, but don’t really feel they can’t be helped, and feel as if God weren’t there or did not exist. One day I went around the curch, hvered there, aligned the Femminine Mother God energy waiting to arise after the millenia of oppresion in the Muslim regiouns, and they aligned in peace with the christian manifestation, oh my god ave maria started playing on the TURKISH episode my grandma is watching RIGT HOW, while I am typing how Muslim and Christian faith have intertwined into one and the same.I played this song I have attached and I imagined how God appeared, and I saw him, with the Inner Eye of Wisdom how he appeared in this Christian church, unlocking the disbelief and turning it into belief, and he was an elderly yet young sage. If you could join me and enhace his emanation for people to feel it , I would be grateful. I entered the church physically and the priest was doing a ritual and I spread my arms like wings, they looked at me shocked and I said “shhh , Archangel Michael”, and pointed at his icon there, and winked my eye. A scary old man, almost inhuman, like Toma the Disbeliever, was conveniently there, approached me and started insulting me that in the church you should only make the cross sign. Then Michael told me that nothig ever disrupts the true peace of a church, it may cry but the faith remains, and that he is there to protect an insecure angel like me in a moment like this, when I felt the ignorance dominating over me through cruelty.I hope you found it interesting.

* I mean, I did align the energy of the mosque and the church, their mother and father aspects into one and the same, enhancing the motherly love that was oppressed for a long time.*”

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on June 05, 2019, 15:56:55
Hello, guys.

I wanted to share more of my experiences related to aliens.

So, this one time I had just gone to bed and I was lying there still but I wasn’t even sleepy yet. I.e. my brain hadn’t initiated the transition to the state of slumber, where you are unaware of your surrondings and then your soul suddenly goes on a journey where apparitions are something normal. No. I was just in my day-time firmly down to earth condition.

Sometimes, when aliens enter my house, the feeling is as if my consciousness “shifts” its focus to their location and is capable of perceiving their presence or even seeing them. This is exactly what happened. I was lying in the opposite direction but I clearly saw “grey” aliens, only, they were short, just a bit taller than my bed. They approached me, and just as I was about to turn around, still awake, I remember how they spirited me away.

Until recently, I thought they abducted my soul and that my body that remained on the bed got slight visuals of what was going on. Now I think it was vice versa. I think they took my body to their ship, as I remember how my soul was floating a bit above my bed and I could feel how they put tubes around my neck and how a gasseous transparent liquid got transfused.

Then they returned me to my bed. I would have been teriffied but they had infused in me a “drug of relief”, i.e. I felt incredibly calm and secure despite the experience.

My consciensciousness would snap out, would disappear into blackness, where I was not existing at all, just void and nothing, then I would return to myself and my surroundings again. This would repeat a couple of times.

I don’t remember the rest of the night.

Title: Re: Riddle's story
Post by: Riddle on July 11, 2019, 14:48:52
So, I have been reading this book “Connection with the Light”. A doctor from my country, Diana Mechkova, has developed the gift to channel the beings of Light, and her bond is especially with Virgin Mary, Jesus Christ and the Pontiffs of Light, as well as the Holy Spirit and Archangel Michael’s Armada.

The book is a very powerful mantra. I can feel how it emanates Purity, it Heals and Protects. It is a Divine Shield.

The forces of Good have been helping me all along, and now all the disgusting holes in my etheric body (or, wherever they were exactly) have been cured, and my mind is clean, clear, free. Well, sometimes the past is echoing its projections of what it used to be, but still. Now, with this Holy Scripture, I feel I am closer and even more protected. I am so grateful for their guidance, course of healing and that they never abandon(ed) me.

Ever since I was so stupid to evoke the devil, I have felt utter despair and NOTHING is more important to me than Goodness and its power to heal and protect! I am so glad this book enhanced the effect so much!!

I am so happy that this book has entered my life! I welcome it, embrace it and live by it.

My mind has been clearing itself from my angry, self-loathing thoughts, and my Mission, Inspiration and Mystery have been replacing the nothingness I had become.

This book thaught me how to pray. I don’t know how, it’s like the Holy Dove landed on my Heart and now I feel truce in the prayer, I believe in it.

Maybe It’s because for the first time, I haven’t been romanticising the connection with Pure Forces, in the image of the Beautiful Graceful Male.

Virgin Mary truly is a Saint! I am so happy now I have connection with her! I feel reborn!

May this prevail.