First of all, I want to congratulate you, Bluefirephoenix, really well done. I’m really happy for you, I’m really glad you followed your Heart and gave your all to follow your Spiritual Path.
Basically, I’ve also been through every “phase” you’ve written, and you’re pretty correct on nearly everything you say.
Of course every person “translates” their learning experience at his or her own way, but your way is really good.
The first thing I’d like to explain is about those shadows you talk about:
Sometimes you generate sensations, scary spirits can be generated by your mind ( most of these shadowy scary things that attack you in astral are made by your mind)
That is true, those shadows can be your own reflected fears and weaknesses, but when someone makes a projection that did not went through their Heart Chakra, and without filling up their body with Light, the projection might not be that safe, and in some cases, those shadows, might not just be the result of your own mind.
Unlike what many people think, certain not so good “entities” truly do exist.
I very much doubt that demons exist as independent entities.
The “information” that you have “translated” with your learning experiences is not wrong, but it is not complete. Indeed those “entities” do exist, but the ONLY way they can affect you is using your fears, your weaknesses and flaws. This means every “part” of you that is not Light or Love. They take advantage of that, and that’s the ONLY weapon they have against you.
Everyone has weaknesses, fears, flaws, fragilities… the only way to stop them is having Light, it is the spiritual evolution/path in which you eliminate your fears and flaws, which means, the spiritual path made by and with God and God’s guides.
I also had a first initial guide that was very close to me, He is an Angel with a very intense and bright light.
He told me, the very first time I ever saw Him, that from moment on, I would learn with him.
Months before He came into my life, my practice was moving my consciousness to my Heart’s Chakra, to a “place” where I had a Big Golden Sphere, symbolizing God.
My practices (meditations) were basically asking for help, so that I could see my flaws, my weaknesses, so that I could become pure and evolve spiritually with a “cleaner Heart”.
In these practices, I received a lot of Light coming from the Big Golden Sphere. That Light filled me up and surrounded me. I even made multiple practices in one, I gained awareness that you can have multiple “bodies” (or consciousnesses) during a meditation, each receiving his own energy, his own learning, with the same level of consciousness in every one, meaning I can do 1 meditation that is like 7 different meditations at the same time, each one with different (or the same) beings, in different (or the same) “places”, with different learning experiences and with the same high-consciousness level in each one (more lucid that I am in this world).
I didn’t make this happen, I didn’t even know it was possible. It started by being something as simple as seeing me in the third person. After a few months of daily practice, sometimes 5 minutes, sometimes 1 hour (I didn’t decide the time I was “there”), my Guide appeared and from that day on, everything was different.
I’ve always talked with Him as I talk to anyone else, with practice and after some time, I could see Him and see his face just like you see any person in the street. I cried of joy (it's not joy, but there is no word for it) the very first time I clearly saw His eyes, his look.
This Guide helped me know myself and understand the world around me, from the simplest to the most complex things. We went a long way, and my practices started being around 4 hours long, uninterrupted. Of course I did not realize, I didn’t decide how long I was “there”.
With time, that Big Golden Sphere was no longer a Sphere and got a shape, the shape of what I went to know that was called … Heavenly Father.
I started learning with Him and with several Angels that I slowly got to know.
I’ve always had clairaudience, clairvoyance, clairsentience, you name it, all kinds of “abilities” you can imagine since I remember myself, but I’ve always been afraid of them and never wanted to improve them. Everything I said above happened when I decided to trust God and let Him guide me through my Heart.
Nowadays I’m not afraid anymore, obviously, I feel absolute happiness and peace, especially when I’m practicing, which completely transformed my life.
I may be having be having a conversation with someone in here, while talking to God or any Angel or Guide, face to face, eye to eye, with the same clarity and consciousness of everything at the same time. One day you will see that the Heavenly Father will reveal to be much more than what you can “see” today, and maybe you’ll have some surprises.
There are very few people like you, who can walk through this Path, because logic will simply not allow you to give as much of yourself as you want and must. I am TRULY happy for you!
Now, allow me to explain something:
All the discipline you’ve had until today was very important, but let me tell you something, and you should speak with your Guides about this. (Actually, I’m pretty sure They have already “talked” with you about this, perhaps you didn’t understand it very well).
I think that you’ve reached a “level” where your discipline is blocking you a bit, because there are moments, sudden moments, without any obvious reason (that a human being can comprehend), which is THE time to learn something. It can happen with something very simple on your day-to-day.
If you’re too focused on discipline, on your ”scheduled-time” to meditate, you may be blocking what’s around you, your day-to-day learning (in this world). Everything that happens in your life – it is your Guides that make it happen, so you can learn.
Don’t lock yourself to your “scheduled” meditation, of course it is VERY important, but so is your day-to-day practice. You must try and learn how to practice in your day-to-day, constantly.
See everything with the “eyes” that you “see” with in your meditation, feel it as you there and will see that everything is a learning experience. The big-meditation is what your consciousness is doing HERE.
Shut your logic off, don’t let it interfere, try your best so that it is not a hindrance.
Another piece of advice:
You are very focused during your meditations (for the record, phasing=projection=meditation=practice to me), and you try to ignore everything that is not part of your main goal. You focus on a single point.
At this moment (after you've made countless absolutely focused in "1-point-practices"), your meditation may consist of 1000 points at the same time, but if you make yourself just look at 1, you will not see the others.
Believe me, with enough practice, you’ll be able to see the 1000 points with the same focus that you can see 1 today. Don’t focus constantly on your focus. Feel it. Receive.
Even though initially you will not be able to see everything as good as you’re used to, trust me, you will learn much more by feeling it. With time, you will feel and see everything much better. What you’re currently doing, WORKS, but don’t be too attached to it, evolution is a constant evolution.
You already know that 2+2=4. Now see that 2+2 can also be 5. And do not use logic.
I know it’s getting long, but I would also like to make one question:
You mentioned an Initiation made by your guide. Can you tell me if the Initiation was an Astral Initiation (not in here), or it was also in the physical plane? Did you receive any Initiation name?
I was also Initiated, I’ve had non-physical Initiations, but also physical, always accompanied by non-physical guides.
Fortunately, I heard my heart, I heard my spiritual guides, I heard God.
Again, congratulations, you’re in an amazing Path, keep going with even more Love in your Heart.