Thats what I thought, but why and if so why was it so evil feeling haha so many questionsHello Qess and Welcome! It sounds like you passed your initial fear test. Good Job! That one is usually quite intense.
I think you might find your answer in this recent thread here that another member here created. You will find that almost always, if you are or have experiencing something or are having problems with some step with achieving a non local state of consciousness, chances are someone else did too. Many of those answers can be found on Forums like this, but you just need to do some "searching" on those Forums to find them. This Forum is loaded with great advice. Pay particle attention to the "stickies". They are the threads in BOLD BLUE LETTERS