What happens is I don't get a negative though, I don't fear rejection, it is just shyness by itself! An intense feeling inside that makes me stay away from the girl. It would be great if I could find out the source of this. My shyness is so bad when I had to ring a person I almost rang the number a number of times, putting down the phone at the last number, then eventually getting to courage to ring. I can't stare at a girl for more than 1 second straight.
I need to meet new people alright. Here is my story (for Kazbadan):
I am not sure why I am shy, maybe cos of lack of experience with girls? I still haven't had my first kiss yet. I lost my mother to breast cancer when I was 3 and my Dad said I wasn't able to speak for months on end, and up to a year later I was asking where my mom was.
Anyway not speaking out obviously affected communications, and thus my development. I can remember being in Nursery (pre-school, around age 4) and I was always by myself. The other children used to play, but I was always by myself. I wasn't weird like. I can remember when I was 5 aswell and 2 boys that I played with, one of them whispered into the others ear saying for them to run away from me, and they did. That hurt a bit. When I wanted to play soccer (Futebol) the boys used to say no, we are playing 1V1, then another boy would come along and they'd play 1V1 and a goalie, and they'd say it's goalie and 1V1 now to me, they would never let me play.
Anyway for my education I was a bit overweight growing up, and this skinny dude used to always mock me, and I got in fights inside school aswell, even though I wasn't a trouble maker. The same happened in secondary school (junior high for americans), I used to get called names and people used to pick on me. I had some friends though, nice people, ones who wouldn't not pick on me. I was sociable to people I knew, I wasn't some loner in the corner, I was a happy child.
I dropped out of school in 5th year (1st year of high school for americans) after getting bullied, and continously harassed. I was offered multiple times a chance to fight fellas. The bullying hurt alright, I even carried a knife into school once cos I got affected so much. I didn't intend to use it, just for safety, but the school confiscated it and sent me home. When I left school I did nothing for 3 years straight. I'd be in home for weeks straight at the time, same 4 walls 24/7, only leaving to use the toilet and eat my dinner. Playing video games all the time. I went up to 18 and a half stone (13 and a half ATM) and was completely depressed. I moved out of home last year and am on the prozac and they revolutioned my way of thinking, it was like I was blind before, and I didn't notice it. I am starting to live my life again. From 15-18 was completely wasted. Maybe this story offers suggestions for why I am so shy?
I hope this post offers some info