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Author Topic: A Cynic's Mystical Terminology  (Read 1457 times)
mactombs
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« on: November 06, 2004, 03:09:43 »

Maybe some of you will get the humor in this. It's neither entirely serious, nor entirely flippant.

A CYNIC’S MYSTICAL TERMINOLOGY

Angel – The metaphysical equivalent of a butler.
Arch Angel – A bright, fuzzy image used to acquire mindless believers; an excellent costume for assuming instant authority on all things.
Astral – A metaphysical location where the only certainty is that everything is uncertain.
Astral Projection – (Also OBE, NDE) A trance/sleep/injury-induced hallucination that reminds people that it wouldn’t be a hallucination if it didn’t seem absolutely authentic.
Atlantis – Ancient city used for training guides and medium respondents.
Demon – Entity that causes others to disagree with you.
Evil – The opposite of whatever views you happen to eschew.
Fortuneteller – One skilled in the methods of stating the obvious in vague and general terms.
Forum – An exchange on the Internet used for testing how gullible people are.
God – The prime defender of one’s ideals.
Grey – Usually a malignant alien presence bent on irrationally subverting the human race, or building complex paranoid triangle schemes.
Guide – An entity useful for relieving oneself of the burden of finding things out for oneself. Sometimes, a genie. The mystic title for an adult’s imaginary friend.
Ki/Chi – Imaginary and invisible weapon for playing Asian-oriented games during recess.
Love – The proper response when confronted with anything scary.
Magick – A way of spelling to renew a term that has long lost its credibility.
Meditation – Contemplating how well one has managed not to think about anything ALSO: A great excuse if one is caught napping at work.
Medium – One who uses a bizarre spelling for their pen name ALSO: A method for one to obtain credibility without having a PhD.
Mysticism – A school of thought that allows adults to play make-believe while maintaining a straight face.
Neg – A scapegoat ALSO: The prime entities over which chronic victims obsess.
Psychic – A person with extraordinary powers that manifest only in the absence of critics.
Shamanism – A good excuse for ingesting ethnogens.
Wicca – A role-playing group created by A. Crowley slightly more respectable than D&D groups.
X – The single most valuable letter for spelling guides’ names.
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A certain degree of neurosis is of inestimable value as a drive, especially to a psychologist - Sigmund Freud
Eol007
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« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2004, 10:14:23 »

MacTombs,

Fell off ones chair laughing.

Nice one,


S  cheesy
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« Reply #1 on: November 06, 2004, 10:14:23 »

logoVisit the website of Astral Pulse creator Adrian Cooper.

Home of the best selling book Our Ultimate Reality.

Astral Projection, Metaphysics and many other subjects.

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Frank
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« Reply #2 on: November 06, 2004, 11:54:25 »

Ha ha, me too, I'll be chuckling all day over some of these.

Yours,
Frank
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Nick
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« Reply #3 on: November 06, 2004, 16:48:32 »

The cynic in me truly appreciated: A CYNIC’S MYSTICAL TERMINOLOGY.

Quote
It's neither entirely serious, nor entirely flippant.


Yet quite amusing. It had me smiling. Thanks for that.


Best,
Nick
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"What lies before us, and what lies behind us, are tiny matters compared to what lies within us...." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Tayesin
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« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2004, 08:43:58 »

Excellent  Excellent  Excellent

i needed that laugh.

Thanks
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« Reply #4 on: November 07, 2004, 08:43:58 »



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neutrino
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« Reply #5 on: November 12, 2004, 10:25:15 »

cheesy  love it!
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