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Author Topic: A-holes  (Read 4230 times)
cainam_nazier
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« on: April 21, 2002, 06:45:59 »

I find that what works best for such situations is to say something totally unexpected.

Like in that case. You go...In a happy and cheerfull tone Like the person is actually helping you.

"Are you sure? It was the other way around yesterday.  They must have switched it last night."

Then while they are confused you go merily on your way.  And as you are leaving say thanx for the help.

It works really good for all kinds of things.  Most people do not know how to respond.  This being mostly that when one gives a hostile remark they expect a hostile answer.  The cheery mood tends to confuse them.

Then there are always the quick one liners too.

"That all depends on you perspective."
"Your point being."
"And I care because"

Things like that.  Those are ofcourse intended to ofend.



David Rogalski
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bitsmart
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« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2002, 07:38:55 »

Often people who act maliciously do so because it was done to them. Monkey see, monkey do, and folks, we're all emotional monkeys. It's impossible to know what their motivation for their actions are, and therefore assuming they're just plain mean makes no sense. Say a prayer for them or send some loving energy toward them. I'm fond of the serenity prayer; short, simple, and powerful. Love thy neighbor AND love thy enemy, because chances are that if they act maliciously, they're probably hurting inside and need the love. I always try to treat people with respect as well, whether I get it back or not. The major problem with the world today is that people don't realize that what they do to others, they do to themselves. It's OK though, shifts in global consciousness are occuring more and more.

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« Reply #1 on: April 21, 2002, 07:38:55 »

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Qui-Gon Jinn
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« Reply #2 on: April 21, 2002, 08:30:15 »

Him: -This is a one way bike street! you where going the wrong way....

...You: - "Yea I agree, the weather couldnīt be nicer today my friend"... try that for a response...  or perhaps - "Well, at least I know how to steer a bike and donīt try to hail my fellow brothers and sisters of the road, have a nice day".....   one just wishes one could be a bit quicker with those sorts of comments sometimes....

But if this person you feel only did this to provoke a conflict, there many of tose out there, then bitsmart has a point, he has some sort of problems with himself and so one should treat them with respect (as with all people) and be kind...

 "Be kind, for every person is fighting a hard battle (within)" - Plato

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distant bell
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« Reply #3 on: April 21, 2002, 10:01:19 »

When I try to ofend someone back I always try to figure out something abit more inteligent then the thing said to ofend me.. itīs no sport calling someone a motherf***r or a-hole...  I donīt know- Iīm not really proud of myselfe after yelling back- but on the other hand sometimes I think that some people have to hear someone stand up to them- otherwise they will just continue going aroun with a bad atitude.

If I aproach a person with full respect, and only get disrespect back, then I have little reason to treat that person with any more respect- such a person is not worthy of respect...  let him perish with the dogs.

A rather cool thing to do would be to start performing a full scale banishing ritual in front of the person.. like the pentagra...

I have to confess that I sometimes have little understanding for the christian ideal of over friendlyness... Why turn the other cheek? WHY?

There are situatins where no mercy is simply the best.. think about al the great monsters ofhistory ( hitler, stalin, lenin, franco...), and all the suffering that would have been spared if somene would have stoud up to those people and finished them of.

-AUM-



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PeacefulWarrior
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« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2002, 05:37:01 »

I like Naziers idea of saying something totally off the wall for a number of reasons:
1. It proves the person hasn't caught you off guard and hasn't gotten to you, which is exactly while people like this do things like this.
2. It doesn't usually provoke more hate or violence, ie. a meat head isn't going to get what you say until 5 mins. after you depart...and then he wil realize you stayed positive while making him look like a fool!
3.  ---I can't remember, oh yeah...it's funny and it helps you feel good and dispells the negativity--or something like that.



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« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2002, 05:37:01 »



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Tom
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« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2002, 18:41:13 »

People have ways of making me mad that objects can't begin to compete with. I think this is why monasteries are so popular rather than going out and associating with common people. It is also why dealing with common people provides so much more opportunity. Most people really don't even seem to know when they have caused harm.


 
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Barbara
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« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2002, 21:19:38 »


Hello distant bell,

I think the person who approached you in an obnoxious manner was ready for confrontation for whatever reason; he was also mentally prepared for an argument. In replying in a like manner you would have given your energy away to this idiot which would have made him even stronger in his vindictiveness. I agree with what some of the others have said. Don't respond with 'like for like retorts' to this type of harassment. The last thing that this person expects is civility, cheerfulness or being NICE in return. By acting in a cordial manner you are basically returning his negative energy back to him, and this in itself is deflating, because he is aware that he hasn't got to you, this being his original intention, after all how many people have an argument with themselves!

I am aware that it is difficult not to retaliate, sometimes it is better to grit ones teeth and respond in this unexpected manner because rising to this type of challenge leads to all sorts of danger.

I was brought up to believe 'treat others how you yourself want to be treated'. Yes in theory this should work, but we live in a world that is full of people who are anti everything that is decent and moral. When we come face to face with these types it is by far easier initially to react by measuring your anger against theirs. It shows strength of character to do the unexpected, also your self esteem will remain intact.  

All good wishes,
Barbara









 
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Bhikku
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« Reply #7 on: April 22, 2002, 21:44:05 »

If you were obviously moving out of his way, and he was obviously moving back into your way, well there's only one answer in my book: Should have crashed into him. Having scraped knees and a banged up bike would have deflated his need to point out your faults, and possible he wouldn't have felt such need for confrontation next time.

"Look within, thou art the Budda"
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Joe
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« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2002, 10:40:54 »

Exactly, then I would walk over and slam some knuckles into the moron's skull.

Don't mind me - I have some anger management issues to work through http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/images/icon_Smile_evil.gif" border=0>
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MJ-12
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« Reply #9 on: April 27, 2002, 18:42:01 »

df
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Mobius
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« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2002, 01:09:37 »

Hey Distant bell,I've got some suggestions for you:
Passive guilt approach 1) You could try & pull off an Australian accent & say"Sorry mate,I,m a tourist from Australia,you could have yelled out something,is this the treatment I get?"
Arrogant rebuttal approach 2) Wait a sec,I'll just find some change so you can GO RING SOMEONE WHO GIVES A #*!#.
The optamistic positivist approach (what cainam _ naizer said)2) "Well you learn something new every day don't you,thanks mate,you'd better inform everyone else,see ya" & ride off,pretending you didn't know there was an exchange of negative tension.

GOOD journeys I said,not bad & that goes for the physical too!

Mobius

 
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Rob
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« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2002, 21:28:12 »

Most these argumant seem to basically come down to, or seeming like, you don't care, if only to get back or "one over". Therefore the ultimate best state is just not to care. The most difficult, to geniunly not be bothered. Budhic??

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servo-15
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« Reply #12 on: April 30, 2002, 21:05:44 »

HI there!
man you Swedes are seriously organised over there with one-way bicycle paths!
My suggestion is to do something even more unexpected than behaving nicely.... I suggest in such a situation you should behave in a manner that would make him believe you are completeley mad. i mean, a raving lunatic, totally unpredictable, possibly a psychotic madman! if you can't help laughing while you do it, that will enhance the effect! i'm sure you will laugh when you see his reaction. you can then go, leaving him perplexed and worried! Smiley

 
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distant bell
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« Reply #13 on: May 01, 2002, 04:54:13 »

Hi cervo-15!

Yeah, the thought about actually performing a full scale pentagream ritula to exorcise im came to my mind.. that would have been a quite jolly seen I guess..

BTW- good damn this country is wel organised!!  It can alomust make one sick sometimes, thereīs just a law for every occation.

Felix

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Qui-Gon Jinn
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« Reply #14 on: May 01, 2002, 06:53:18 »

Oh donīt get me started on the organization part, Sweden is the most organized fīn country on this Earth I reckonī, there are laws and restrictions for everything almost..  and we have something called "jante lagen" in Sweden...  it means that if you donīt follow the written, actually mostly the unwritten, laws - you are to be stoned!! (not literally but not far from)
  With the unwritten laws I mean that  1) You shall not believe you are anyone special !! 2) If you are rich and beautyful, prepare to have people talking behind your back - and it wonīt be any positive talk, itīd be more like "BBC (bs) hardtalk" 3) You shall look like everyone else or pay the consequences of being looked upon as some kind of freak, and again, bs talk behind your back.
  Well the list could go on, and itīs all about putting people who isnīt within the frame of being like everyone else - down...  envy has a strong grip up here, and the swedish mentality could be said to be the opposite to the american, where as in america people (in general) doesnīt hesitate "bragging" about themselves - doing that in Sweden, telling other people how rich you are or something like that - well, be able to run fast is helpful....

Donīt get me wrong though, I love Sweden, but that is its major downside...  that part of the swedish mentality - what do you say Felix?  Isnīt it time we put jante lagen to rest once and for all??

  Take care //Qui-Gon

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distant bell
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« Reply #15 on: May 01, 2002, 07:41:13 »

Yeah Richard, I fully agree!
'
Sweden has a lot of good sides, but sadly the mentality
is not on of them. Itīs really like Richard says, donīt think
that you are someone!  Donīt think that you have a right to
exercise your free wil!!

The strangest thing si that the swedes seem to LOVE every
new law invented by the mentaly disturbed government.

In sweden we have speciall liquer stores- not like in america where
there are different liquer stores.. but here in sweden there is just
on- and that one is run by the government.. This means that there
is no room at al for any kind free market - and I tell you this
, it shows on the prices..

In al other europen countries one can go down to the local
super market and by a bottle of vine or some beer, but not
in sweden!! Here you have to go to one of the "system bolag"
that we have... those special stores.

The argument is that people couldnīt handle having acces to
alcohol in the super market- WHAT THE bonk???
Stop treating us like children!!! All other adult europeans can handle
it!  So why not we ?  Man, this pisses me of! And this is not
the only bissar thing in this country...

Did you have a nice Valborg Richard? I was home reading Smiley

Felix


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Qui-Gon Jinn
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« Reply #16 on: May 01, 2002, 12:10:37 »

As a matter of fact, I had a very nice Valborg Felix, I to was at home... Wink        ....watching soccer (won money on it, yay! big gambler me am) and reading as well...

   As for the swedish mentality, yea, when it comes to "jante lagen" it sucks, but then again, I like to believe "we" have our good traits to...  

   I myself donīt buy liquir (sp?), but sure, it is rather odd...  Man do Denmark and Germany profit on us, we going over there buying all sort of alcohol.....  my father for example - never buys beer and stuff here in Sweden.... once a year, at least, ge goes to Germany and takes home... well.... a hell of a lot more than he is allowed to do Wink  no names..    if you want any I can cut you on a good deal Felix...    Richard wants, daddy gets... hehee..  (have to pay for it though, ainīt spoiled)

   Take care //Qui-Gon

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distant bell
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« Reply #17 on: May 01, 2002, 15:07:02 »

Hi Mate!

Yeah sure we swedes have our good sides to!

I actually hardly ever buy alcohol in the liquer store either.. I hardly
ever drink, and when I drink itīs usually only "folkol" ( the light
beer sold in the super market, only has 2,8%)

But still, even if I hardly drink any strong stuff, I still
consider it my right to be able to buy it in the supermarket!!
Some evnings I get a strong craving for a Guiness.. (man
that beer rules!) and it would be good just to be able to walk
down to ICA and buy a bottle!

I have actually thought about leaving sweden because of
this law mentality...  everything is forbidden.. not that
it really is a problem for me since I use neither much alcohol nor
drugs- but still, itīs the principal ! I want to be treated like an adult!

so you looked at soccer?? really? are you a sports fan?
I saw some wierd movie on z-tv....

Felix





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Qui-Gon Jinn
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« Reply #18 on: May 01, 2002, 17:24:58 »

Yea - I know what you mean Felix, it is the principle of being able to for example go buy a bottle of alcohol fi one wants to, hahaa.. that sounded weird, a bottle of alcohol...  Guiness is okay I agree, but generally, I donīt like the taste of alcohol..  but on rare occassions when I do drink, its often whiskey...

   I have to though about perhps leaving Sweden in the future, mostly cause of the climate though...  I love sunny warm weather, and well, not so much of that here.....   I could see myself living on my house boat located on the spanish "sun coast" or somewhere like that...   some day *sigh*

Yea I watched soccer, for a soccer maniac (well, was, gotten a bit more sane over the last few years I like to think;) a champions league semi-final is a high, hahaa...  you know I competed in tennis all year around in my teens, throughout half of Sweden..  I donīt like to brag but I beat swedens #6 player once *looking proud* Wink  .... didnīt know I was such a sport fan did you? *s'

   Have a good day //Richard

- Your focus determines your reality -
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distant bell
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« Reply #19 on: April 21, 2002, 06:23:49 »

There are some pretty sick people out there!
I was out biking on the biking way, and this man comes biking from the other
direction, so like all normal people I go to the right side of the biking way.. but to my surprise he seets on an head on course towards me, so I go as far as possible to the right...on the border of actually going down into the grass on the side of the road. But this individuall just dosnīt move an inch and heads right towards me- I hit the breaks not to crasch into him (he was biking slower than me -and breaks too) so there we stand - and then he tells me -This is a one way bike street! you where going the wrong way....

And Yes, I was baffled! ...What do you responde to something like that?
Yes, it might be a one way biking street- what do I know?  But everyone uses it in both directions. And its broad enough to take to bikes..

The amazing thing is that this A-hole whent to al the trouble of stoping me in that redicioulus way just to be able to tell me I was doing something wrong..

When I think about it- what ever posseses a person to do such a thing ?
He obviously saw that I did my uttermost to go out of his way and stay on the right side of the road... but no- thatīs not enough for him.

Well, these things happen al the time-- One is out minding ones own business
.. and then some a-hole comes and starts to interfere.

I donīt know how to react in such a situation.
I have three possible alternatives:
1. Ignore them ( usually they get even angrier)
2. try to reason with the ( usually works bad..)
3. Shout back ...( ? )

As long as Iīm minding my own business, and not hurting anybody else, I really feel that people should  get of my back. I always treat people with respect, and thus demand some respect back.

But when things like this happen I really feel like slapin em right in the face..

Any thoughts about this?


-- Love is the Law - Love under Will --
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