Concerns about the recent quality of Posts

[PeacefulWarrior]

THE BOTTOM LINE

I think this whole "problem" can be solved by remembering 3 things when you post:
1) Be respectful
2) Be thoughtful
3) Be yourself

Am I right?

I have had many heated discussions with people in this forum and, although we didn't end up agreeing with one another, we usually had a stronger/more positive relationship simply because we maintained respect and love for one another.

[Anonymous]

Well said. I'm sure there's at least one other element in there but I can't think of it/them right now. But generally speaking, I agree with you.

[Frank]

FWIW: I think the posts are just fine as they are.

If people want to try and use their voice to - in some way - throw a spoke in the works, then what the heck. Anyone who is anyone in this world have their critics. Some have openly critised me, for instance. Well so what?

The only matter I feel of relevance is of restricting the subject broadly to an on-topic thread. After all, if you take the opposite to an extreme, and all of us were to begin chatting on every forum about the first thing that entered our heads... then we may as well start packing.

So what I'm getting at is, if you really feel so strongly against either a member of this forum, or against a thread in particular, then by all means start a thread "in anti". Then the response, either for or against, will be made plain for subscribers as a whole to make their own judgement.

I say this because I feel it is grossly unfair that we should expect Adrian to take the brunt. Especially in respect of the fact that, ultimately, he is in a position where it could so easily become such that he is damned if he does: and damned if he doesn't.

Yours,
Frank

[Anonymous]

Ah, but if a thread was posted about something, without being for or against it, then we save room for other threads to be seen, as we would not need two seperate threads for the same topic. One could post the thread neutrally, but state their opinion in their reply.

[James S]

Wow...I go away for a couple of days and this becomes a hot topic!

In my opinion (note the emphasis on that word???), I feel that PeacefulWarrior & Timeless really have caught on to my thoughts about this. It is very much about respecting others, and about helping people who have questions that are difficult to ask, even behind the cloak of anonimity that forums afford.

When I first came on to this forum, I had questions to ask that if I think about them now, I would say they were stupid. Back then, I didn't know any better. It was the openness and helpfulness of members here that gave me insight. It was the friendliness of replies that made me feel like I could ask questions that I could not put to others around me, else I be labelled a nutcase. It was finding out that others here had experienced similar things and were happy to tell me of what they had found.

This has all added up to being a positive experience for me. I have made friends here. I have learned much, and I have been given much to think about.

Had I been personally criticised about my thoughts as I have seen others criticised, I would most likely have left long ago.  Criticisms of opinions (there's that word again) is a perfectly healthy way to discuss a topic, and can often lead to seing things from another point of view. I believe personal criticisms however, are just not on. You do not have to respect someone's opinion (have I beaten this word to death yet?), but if you wish to hold any credibility or respect, criticising or insulting others personally is no way to go about it. I don't mean having a harmless dig at someone in good fun, that's what friends do. I mean getting hot under the collar and flaming someone. Anger is a dark and destructive energy.

This is the main gripe that I have, and what really lead me to post this topic. The repeating of topics? well, it was a thought, and I can see now how such repetitions can be useful, within reason of course.

Thank you all for you views, and thank you to those who wish to be known as a friend.
James.

[goingslow]

Ideas and opinions will sometimes be criticized.  Again this is a public messageboard and unless you make a sign which says only a certain personality is allowed there will be disagreements.

I think peacefulwarrior hit on something when he said sometimes respect and friendship come out of people having a heated debate.  I dont really understand why people say "this is only my opinion" each of these are our opinions who's to say opinions which differ cant be voiced.

I have no desire to be fake or show how i can agree with everyone.  But I was happy to see most people's message was about the same as my own:  Be yourself, its variety which makes messageboards worth reading.  If its all going to be holding hands and saying how beautiful each post was its not worth it. you learn more by thinking about your position because perhaps it was questioned than with people thanking you for giving it because they want to be polite and fit in.

Im not going to say "this is just my opinion" because i think its obvious we're all stating opinions here.  I find the whole "well thats your opinion and you're entitled to it" condescending.  It speaks nothing of any issue and its stating the obvious.  I prefer to deal more with the actual topics than being so fixated on how the person presented it.

Thanks for your honesty timeless,
we all have things we can work on and i find it a lot more helpful when someone says things to a me directly instead of what seems like an attempt to rally people against another group.
In fact an honest "i felt you were rude" usually gets me thinking more than people talking about me indirectly.  

Sometimes its better to just come out and say things instead of in an attempt to be polite come off as more passive agressive than anything else.

I feel though that something good came out of this topic from the replies I saw which did recognize its more important to allow people to be themselves; rather than try to criticize people indirectly for not being nice and fluffy enough.  

Respect is important but who's to say you're showing more respect by being more concerned with how you come off in a post than dealing with the issue the person is presenting.

[MJ-12]

Ta

[jilola]

FWIW, considering the number of people and the huge amount of posts this site is by far the without question the best and most thoughtful of any I've ever seen on the net. The occasional flame or perceived insult aside the quality of the site, the people and the posts are beyond excellent.
A big hand, applause and kudos to all of us, past and present.

2cents & L&L
jouni

[Anonymous]

hmm, I don't think that's what Goingslow was trying to imply. I think what he meant was that people should not be afraid to post something how they post it.

On the other hand, getting all uptight about the way someone posts something isn't helping anything either. You can't force someone to keep a cool head. But you can keep a cool head yourself. Just make sure that however you decide to post, you're using rational thought and not speaking out of rage or anger.

Just another one of my contributions.

[goingslow]

quote:Originally posted by MJ-12


Goingslow are you saying that respecting someone's opinion is somehow too "fluffy" for you? Whoever said that this forum is like you describe? Why do others have to conform to YOUR standards of respect and civil discussion?

Who's asking anyone to conform?  Im stating people should be themselves and not criticize others for not meeting standards of respect.  Thats the opposite of conforming.
What standards of respect and civil discussion did i state?  except dont get angry just because a person doesn't respond how everyone else wants.  Those aren't standards theyre about being tolerant.  

I guess your response kinda doesn't make sense to me since i thought i was obviously posting about acceptance not posting any "rules".

I dont really want to argue this point though, but my posts were in response to the topic.  So in context i think it makes sense.  

Enderwiggen i agree with that completely and thats what i was trying to state.  

[James S]

Hopefully I'm not the only one thinking this, but regardless I shall speak out.

I'm concerned about the degredation in quality of posts on this forum, in terms of repetative questions and abusiveness. I do not believe this to be the general case, but things do seem to be getting worse.

There is a lot of repetition in questions being asked as new topics.

This can be avoided by using the search or advanced search functions, the latter being a most effective tool on this site. This forum has been running a while now, and many ideas and concepts and problems have been raised.

Before posting a new topic, do a search. Your question has possibly already been discussed at length.

Next, and more importantly, There is never any need to be abusive or insulting towards other forum members.

We are all here because we wish to learn about that which is beyond the material world. Some of us have had experiences we don't understand, some to seek help with personal problems, and some to impart knowledge that they have gained. This site is about growth, becoming something more than you are now.

Growth is not assisted by thoughtless people tearing down others because they disagree with an opinion, think they know better, or are just plain irritated by a comment. There is a great diversity in cultures and ages of the members of this site. We do not all think the same way. Bear that in mind before criticising someone.

This forum is unique. How about we keep it that way by leaving any of our closed minded attitudes behind when we log in.

Best wishes to all,

James.