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Author Topic: Does marrying a divoiced women with 3 kids have spiritual benefits?  (Read 4096 times)
no_leaf_clover
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« Reply #25 on: March 17, 2016, 22:59:06 »

If only it was so black and white. Perhaps one day I will see the situation better. As of now I am not going to marry her, but just learn more about her.

I think that's probably the best decision, especially since you're busy with education as you say.  Busy with education plus a new marriage and instant kids would likely be overwhelming.

Wouldn't it be correct to say that love without some risk to reward thinking can leave one susceptible to being gullible, and taken advantage of, while purely helping those in need just because you want a reward seems very empty and bad for us to lower our entropy? In reality I tend to think most people including myself take a middle ground between these two extremes. Is there anything wrong with that line of thinking?

Makes sense to me though I have to stop and read what you said carefully because the way you worded it confused me at first.

You could go the "Jesus route" of unconditional love at any price, but we all know what happens at the end of that story.  He gets nailed to a cross.

Btw you can help her without marrying her.  If she wants to marry you in order to have more leverage over you to get "help" from you then that's already a bad sign, but I don't know this woman.  If that's not the case then she should have no problem waiting to get married.  It's the smart thing to do nowadays if you ask me.  This isn't like the 1950's anymore where everybody gets married at 18 and stays married no matter what.  Slow and steady, looking around a lot and paying a lot of attention is what I would say.
« Last Edit: March 17, 2016, 23:03:48 by no_leaf_clover » Logged

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fowlskins
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« Reply #26 on: March 18, 2016, 01:12:30 »

things you should take into consideration other than spiritual growth

does this woman make you laugh
can you communicate well to each other
am i committed long term to a family because leaving will hurt the kids too
will this effect my education and long term goals, dont want to end up with regrets of not doing things in the future and a family will limit things you can do
can you afford to keep a family of 5 a family that size gets through a ton of food per week

family life is hard, stressful expensive but ultimately rewarding its down to you at the end of the day though Smiley
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« Reply #26 on: March 18, 2016, 01:12:30 »

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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #27 on: March 18, 2016, 03:48:47 »

You sound like you're trying really hard to convince yourself to do this...
Do what you want.  Perhaps you have to make a huge mistake in your life at this point... who knows.
I plan on seeing a psychologist to get more of a professional opinion.
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Xanth
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« Reply #28 on: March 18, 2016, 07:02:45 »

I plan on seeing a psychologist to get more of a professional opinion.
Consider this too... it might also NOT be a huge mistake.

In the end, the choice is yours.  I don't think you need a psychologist, I think you need to listen to your heart.
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skeptic
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« Reply #29 on: March 18, 2016, 11:24:27 »

Back in 2002 I married a woman with three kids (2, 4, 8 years old) , we lived happily / may be happily/ not happily , we raised kids together ,
got separated in 2011, I never regretted the experience , learnt many lessons , and infinitely grateful for these 4 souls have been in my life.
Intent??? IT did not matter. IT does not matter IT won't matter. Unless you are the master of intent(which means you know what you 100% want and how to give 100% of your attention and concentration to it) Which I believe is so rare on this planet , at least I have never met such a person(I am talking about love of course) . At best we have a strong desire to do/ achieve/ accomplish something that we understand at least and can relate to some data/experience . When it comes to love /intent/understanding  we are little children making first steps trying to come to see what all that means. I have been married 3 times , so I can speak from my experience. You may fall in love insanely and marry a woman with 3 kids and find yourself miserable after 2/3 months or you may marry someone out of compassion or pity (karma , spiritual growth , who cares) and falling in love later , or you just do it for whatever reason , the experience itself is invaluable and precious. I disagree with Xanth who said "Perhaps you have to make a huge mistake in your life at this point... who knows."  From my experience the biggest mistake one can make is to wait for the right intent or understanding . Only experience  can help you find your intent ! 
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« Reply #29 on: March 18, 2016, 11:24:27 »



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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #30 on: March 21, 2016, 04:32:56 »

I kid you not, she called me superman a couple of times today, and it wasn't over money. I am teaching her how to be a better mother and women. And she is falling head over heels for me. LOL
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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #31 on: March 25, 2016, 21:52:39 »

I guess I am still a bit confused as I have been taught as we all have that in the law of attraction what you desire you get. So if I desire a reward for my generosity won't I get one? What gives?
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Stillwater
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« Reply #32 on: March 25, 2016, 22:51:02 »

Quote
I guess I am still a bit confused as I have been taught as we all have that in the law of attraction what you desire you get. So if I desire a reward for my generosity won't I get one? What gives?

Is the hypothetical exchange you are describing generosity? It sounds more like a trade, or a purchase, if you really think about it.

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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #33 on: March 26, 2016, 01:21:45 »

Is the hypothetical exchange you are describing generosity? It sounds more like a trade, or a purchase, if you really think about it.


OK forget about we are even talking about a women and marriage here. What about my original question I just asked, doesn't the law of attraction work for someone being generous, doesn't karma have any meaning. You's are confusing me. Does the law of attraction work or not and how does it work?
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Stillwater
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« Reply #34 on: March 26, 2016, 01:52:59 »

Quote
doesn't the law of attraction work for someone being generous

This is the point that is tripping you up.

I will say it again.

When one person gives something, in expectation of receiving something else, that event is called a sale, or a trade. We are not talking about generosity in a case like that, so take that out of the equation.

What you are really asking here is whether the Law of Attraction can be counted on as a means of exchange, like Paypal.

The answer is... maybe? I don't see how what you are asking can be truly answered. It is basically impossible to collect data on. All we have are anecdotes of times people believe they were granted various boons. If it really functions as the concept of the "LoA" suggests, then the benefits could well be across time and space, which makes collecting data even more meaningless.  My suspicion is that anyone who claims to objectively know things such as the efficacy of the LoA in general has probably made many assumptions they can't justify.

You are asking the wrong questions to be sure. The first answers that No-leaf and Xanth gave were pretty good, and get to the heart of things here.

Re-read every answer that anyone has given you in this thread.

The answers will repeat themselves if you keep asking the same questions  wink
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no_leaf_clover
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« Reply #35 on: March 26, 2016, 02:02:12 »

If the LoA is like magnetism, and you are in a state of desiring something, why wouldn't you just be attracting more situations and circumstances in your life that amplify that sense of desiring something that you don't have?  Is that what you're already doing?

Also your conscious mind is only the tip of the iceberg as far as all of this stuff goes.  You know more than 80% of what we do every day is just pre-programmed habits.  Subconscious beliefs and behaviors are important to reform as well.  I think that's the real work involved.

Quote
When one person gives something, in expectation of receiving something else, that event is called a sale, or a trade. We are not talking about generosity in a case like that, so take that out of the equation.

This is a good point and this is the kind of subconscious stuff that trips us up.
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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #36 on: March 26, 2016, 03:11:49 »

This is a good point and this is the kind of subconscious stuff that trips us up.
So your implying and saying that in order for the reward to work we must believe we have it without expecting anything in return?
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no_leaf_clover
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« Reply #37 on: March 26, 2016, 12:17:43 »

I think that's part of it, yes.  You don't attract what you want, especially not with your conscious mind, and really it's pretty obviously not that simple or we would all have everything we want.  You attract what fits to what you already are, especially all the stuff about you that you're not always conscious of (which is most of you).  Have you ever thought about what kind of beliefs you carry around but aren't consciously aware of?
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LightBeam
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« Reply #38 on: March 26, 2016, 20:51:50 »

First, the Law of Attraction is not so black and white at all.
Second, your spirit changes according to the most true meaning of your thoughts and emotions, not your actions here in the physical. If your actions do not correspond with the motive, then they are meaningless for the expansion of consciousness.  For example, people usually make donations because they want to help someone and ease some sort of suffering. When the other person benefits from their help that will be their most satisfying reward. In this case there is synchronicity between action and motive. If someone donates, because they expect something in exchange other than the satisfaction of seeing someone happy, the spirit does not recognize the action as a positive deed.
You see, if you are shed of this physical body and you are in the non-physical environment, your true thoughts will create your experience. If they are not genuine, you will go no higher. There cant be anything in the middle, you either act out of pure desire to help someone, act out of love and compassion, or you are trying to buy a reward if your motive behind your action is not 100% genuine.
I never think of any sort of rewards when I help someone. I feel their pain. I cant possibly have a hidden motive except seeing them happy. Now on the other hand, will I marry someone for a reason other than true love, no matter of the situation? Absolutely not. That will not help the other person, if I am not giving 100% genuine love, affection and care
Think about it, how will you feel if someone tells you, I want to marry you, I have feelings for you, but I will also be guaranteed a place in heaven, because I am helping you.
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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #39 on: March 27, 2016, 00:40:30 »

First, the Law of Attraction is not so black and white at all.
Second, your spirit changes according to the most true meaning of your thoughts and emotions, not your actions here in the physical. If your actions do not correspond with the motive, then they are meaningless for the expansion of consciousness.  For example, people usually make donations because they want to help someone and ease some sort of suffering. When the other person benefits from their help that will be their most satisfying reward. In this case there is synchronicity between action and motive. If someone donates, because they expect something in exchange other than the satisfaction of seeing someone happy, the spirit does not recognize the action as a positive deed.
You see, if you are shed of this physical body and you are in the non-physical environment, your true thoughts will create your experience. If they are not genuine, you will go no higher. There cant be anything in the middle, you either act out of pure desire to help someone, act out of love and compassion, or you are trying to buy a reward if your motive behind your action is not 100% genuine.
I never think of any sort of rewards when I help someone. I feel their pain. I cant possibly have a hidden motive except seeing them happy. Now on the other hand, will I marry someone for a reason other than true love, no matter of the situation? Absolutely not. That will not help the other person, if I am not giving 100% genuine love, affection and care
Think about it, how will you feel if someone tells you, I want to marry you, I have feelings for you, but I will also be guaranteed a place in heaven, because I am helping you.
So if that is true then we shouldn't expect anything for the law of attraction to work. We only express love and then love comes back. So the law of attraction doesn't work on specific things, it works on a more general bases of giving love and gaining satisfaction love back in seeing the good that you have done. And this is amplified through the fractals of our experience. I just had to put that end part in there. LOL

Even if one gives in order to get satisfaction out of the gratefulness and even love that they get back then even that would the same exact thing as expecting satisfaction in the afterlife. Only different is one is delayed satisfaction and the other is fulfilled soon or right after they give. Unless your saying that you shouldn't even get satisfaction from relieving suffering or bringing joy to others in order to raise consciousness. Or perhaps your saying that one shouldn't even expect satisfaction from relieving suffering or bringing joy to others to raise consciousness. I hope your following me on this. I think were starting to get down to the nuts and bolts of this topic now.

Thanks.
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Astralsuzy
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« Reply #40 on: March 27, 2016, 02:28:13 »

So I meet a women with 3 kids though she is divorced. She seems like a nice person with good qualities and I am wondering if marrying her would help he in the long run, like in my next reincarnation. Would I gain benefits in taking on such a hard task in my next life? Or would it not really matter?

EDIT: So in essence would marrying a women like this who doesn't have much money be better than marrying an independent women and having kids with her spiritually? Crazy question right. I just sometimes have a hard time believing it even matters helping others in need in the grand scheme of things.
I do not know what the others said.   My opinion is no one knows.   You could be trying to work it out for years and still not know.  We are here to do the best we can.   People marry for the right reasons not to get rewarded.   
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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #41 on: March 27, 2016, 02:31:45 »

People marry for the right reasons not to get rewarded.   
Yes I agree and I wouldn't marry just to get rewarded either. I don't think I would. I think I mostly just want to get down to the bottom of this subject as a whole in general, not necessarily just to know if I will get rewarded for marrying.
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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #42 on: March 27, 2016, 06:32:47 »

Let's break this down. So here are the options.

1. Give -> Expect Satisfaction -> Feel love/relieve suffering -> Gain Satisfaction

2. Give without any expectation -> Feel love/relieve suffering -> Gain Satisfaction (Note this is impossible, I tend to think one can't gain satisfaction without some expectation. Here is the definition for satisfaction - fulfillment of one's wishes, expectations, or needs, or the pleasure derived from this.)

3. Give -> Expect Satisfaction -> Feel love/relieve suffering -> Gain Satisfaction -> Delayed Afterlife Satisfaction/Or No Afterlife Satisfaction

4. Give without any expectation -> Feel love/relieve suffering -> Gain Satisfaction -> Delayed Afterlife Satisfaction/Or No Afterlife Satisfaction

EDIT: I will add this.
5. Give without any expectation -> Feel love/relieve suffering -> No Satisfaction But Felt Love.

Note I have a hard time believing in true free will for most humans.

So given these possibilities what is the preferred route to take? Or is there another route that is better than any of these?

Thanks for the help so far guys. Were getting down to the nuts and bolts so stick with me until we get this figured out.
« Last Edit: March 27, 2016, 06:40:37 by PlasmaAstralProjection » Logged
Lumaza
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« Reply #43 on: March 27, 2016, 08:19:19 »

So given these possibilities what is the preferred route to take? Or is there another route that is better than any of these?
Yes there is another option. Think for yourself. That's the reason you came to this reality in the first place. Your "true" lessons come from experiencing not from what others say. Your lessons come from your achievements, but also your failures. The good, bad and the ugly all have something important to teach.
 I am sorry I was the person that said what was on other people's mind here. But it's true. What would this woman you are or aren't going to marry think about this thread if she was to read it? Do you think she loves you for just a spiritual "reward" or does she loves you because that's what "love" is and does.

 When you love and marry a person, whoever she has in her Family, kids, crazy Uncle etc. becomes your Family. For better or worse till death do you part.
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« Reply #44 on: March 27, 2016, 16:18:20 »

When you love and marry a person, whoever she has in her Family, kids, crazy Uncle etc. becomes your Family. For better or worse till death do you part.
This isn't a topic about marriage anymore. This is a wider discussion about how the law of attraction really works.
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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #45 on: March 27, 2016, 16:30:31 »

Yes there is another option. Think for yourself. That's the reason you came to this reality in the first place. Your "true" lessons come from experiencing not from what others say. Your lessons come from your achievements, but also your failures. The good, bad and the ugly all have something important to teach.
Yes I couldn't agree more though sometimes it's best that we learn from others. I would be totally lost if it wasn't for the things that I learned outside of Christianity. So both are good, direct experience, and knowledge.
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LightBeam
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« Reply #46 on: March 28, 2016, 05:49:53 »

I have one question for you Plasma. Would you take something from yourself that you need, and give it to someone else to help them if they are in greater need and they are suffering, if the universal law was built in a way that there are no rewards in any shape or form, neither in a physical nor non-physical realities, and you know FOR SURE that you will receive nothing in return from the universe, but satisfaction that the person you helped is no longer in pain. 
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PlasmaAstralProjection
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« Reply #47 on: March 28, 2016, 06:15:50 »

I have one question for you Plasma. Would you take something from yourself that you need, and give it to someone else to help them if they are in greater need and they are suffering, if the universal law was built in a way that there are no rewards in any shape or form, neither in a physical nor non-physical realities, and you know FOR SURE that you will receive nothing in return from the universe, but satisfaction that the person you helped is no longer in pain. 
Yes I would sacrifice it for them sometimes (depending on how much money I have) as long as I know that they are worthy of it. By worthy I mean that I know they aren't throwaways in society. Meaning as long as I know that they have a chance at making something out of their life then yes. And if I had more money then I would be more likely to give money to people that are less likely to become someone in life. I would become like a Bill Gates of some sort if I had that kind of money. I admire Bill Gates and what he has done. I admit that I need to focus more on the love and satisfaction for the money I do give to people (at least I think this I should focus on satisfaction). I think this thread has made me become much more aware of my emotions when I have helped her recently and helped gain more appreciation for the act of helping her. She has certainly expressed more appreciation for the help I gave her than anyone else, so that is a big plus in my book. I think even if she didn't have any kids though she would still love me for who I am.

I know where your going with this. But I think it matters to know the laws of reality to use it to your advantage the best you can.  wink
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LightBeam
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« Reply #48 on: March 28, 2016, 06:41:30 »

Yes I would sacrifice it for them

Then you have a good heart. I have no further comments. Smiley You are coming to your own conclusions and making decisions according to your growth and needed lessons.
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no_leaf_clover
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« Reply #49 on: March 28, 2016, 06:49:05 »

Meaning as long as I know that they have a chance at making something out of their life then yes.

How would you be able to judge that?  Also this is a totally western/capitalist way of looking at other people in society and would horrify people from some cultures in Asia, who recognize the divinity and inherent equalness in all other individuals regardless of their path in this life.
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