Ok I don't really know how to go about writing this down, but I need to and I'd like to share it. So please forgive all labelling mistakes that I'll make as certain terms do make me uncomfortable and I try not to use them normally
Firstly this morning I did my energy training combined with physical training, then sped through energy raising into my chakras. That went fine. This just sets the scene for later on.
I'd eaten a protein rich meal-fish etc 1/2 hr before hand which makes the following more puzzling. I had to drive to a client, which takes about 45 minutes. I was listening to some music, that I listen to a lot. Not especially "spiritual" but stuff I like. I began playing with my chakras and spine somewhat on the motorway (I do this a lot on longer journeys). After a while I then tried to "feel" imagine the physical sensation of kundalini-you know the snake through the guts deal etc. That made a little rush go through me nothing major.
I then started doing something I call spellcasting on my car in time to the music (singing in tongues whilst binding intention and energy together).
Basically I was sort of trying to "quicken" him-only word for it, give him awareness
. This idea came because my brother can see "spirits" or something in cars that are loved etc..LOL. I digress...
Well I eventually began doing awareness actions throughout the car, being aware of him as an extention of me..This went further and further and parts of me started to become more aware of my heart chakra and other stuff started to happen a little. The upshot of this was tears of joy again...just like on the RB course a while back...I was proud to be crying almost..hard to explain.
Anyway got to the client, and had a great time sorting something out that usually has me cursing a lot. Came away after an hour. Drove back and started to play a little again, trying to recapture those feelings.. Halfway along the M42 I succeeded...too well...
I could tactilely feel a expanding and contracting effect, like I was a giant egg thingy or something (I dislike new agey etheric descriptions normally!!). This really started to create new tears...I nearly crashed sort of. I became aware of something greater...I'm not going to do the "God" thing etc because I can't. I just "know" something now... I got some insights on the way. I have a VERY VERY unusual personal lifestyle and judgement is something that would have bothered me if I'd kinda "found" "God" (Notice I'm still not happy with that word).
I suddenly realised several things. One, there is no judgement, except our own. Every single doomsayer and religion talking about external judgement is sooo badly wrong. I don't care WHO this offends
. There is only your own judgement. The Creator/Spirit/God, gah, I don't know..that being won't judge...how to explain....? Anyway the real biggy is that I know why I'm and everyone is soo different...
We are meant to be....
We are all expressions of somethings that wishes to express, be expressed and experience...and overall exchange.."love"? man... sorry folks this is more emotional and etheric than I like to write. Anyway I have to rush..I will come back on and add more if I think I should as really this is soooo rushed and skipped...so big rough edges..