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Author Topic: Tortured and manipulated to navigate an experience  (Read 247 times)
DancingBear
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« on: October 07, 2018, 05:02:02 »

Last night I was laying down to go to sleep, and as I started to relax more I heard a very loud high pitch sound for a few seconds. Much louder than the whistling sound one might hear from meditation or tinnitus. The closest thing I can compare it to would be what I'd imagine you hear after a flashbang, it was so loud I couldn't focus on anything but the sound. It stopped once I became less relaxed, but as soon as I  tried to get asleep again it happened again, and this went on a few times.

Finally I gave in and sat through it figuring it could be OBE related, but as I did I felt an almost jerky shift into a certain state of awareness, almost like something was intentionally pulling me into a certain vibration. Things became fuzzy at this point, but the first thing I can remember was walking through a lobby on a middle floor of a skyscraper. I had a mask on of a young woman, and some of the people around me also had different masks on, like it was commonplace. As I was walking through someone started insulting people wearing masks, and it seems like they were trying to shame us. It seemed choreographed, like they were trying to make me uncomfortable enough to continue through the area, and I did.

I went up an elevator to a new floor, and came to a screen. When I stared at the screen my consciousness moved into the screen, in a way that all I could experience was the screen, and no body. It was pretty negative, but it seemed like it was trying to convey something that was just beyond my understanding. Occasionally though, an ad would show up, with a list of names and website addresses. I thought maybe if I could read one of these website names I could use that to search up something of use afterwards, but it was all out of focus. I put everything I could into sharpening my view but at best it started looking granular, where I could make out some letters, but not enough to go off of.

I stayed here trying to find some use out of what was happening, but after awhile I heard a voice speak to me within my mind, scolding me to continue on, and not to get stuck here again. Something ended up forcing me back to my body, but I was being very resistant. I was staying in the room pretty confused, but determined to figure out what was going on. I was being told to leave the room, but I refused. Then the temperature of the room was raised into the 100's. I was miserably hot and started to fill sick with a headache. Even that wasn't enough to break me, so then I started hearing an assortment of stressful sounds. Car horns, police sirens, metal being grinded, etc, all at the same time. It made it pretty much impossible to focus, and it felt like it was all being used to make the experience so unbearable that I would essentially surrender my free will by continuing on.

At this point I had had enough, so I decided to return to my body. But when I tried to open my eyes, nothing happened. I tried to lift my arm up which is my last trick to come out but nothing. There has only been a couple times in my life where I couldn't force myself out of sleep paralysis, dreams, etc, and I can count it on one hand. And the better I've gotten at coming out of it the less it's happened. So I was trapped, and it definitely felt like something was holding my consciousness there. Since I had no out I decided to see it through and went over to the next room.

When I got into the next room, the sounds stopped, but the uncomfortable and confused state I was in stayed, and it seems like this was used as a pressure to keep me not at my top state of alertness, but that's just a guess. It was a kitchen, and there were 2 older women standing behind an island. I came up to the opposite side of it and tried to ask them what was happening to me, but when I did it was like I could barely get the words out, something I've experienced before in other situations. It was like I just couldn't find the air to activate my vocal chords.

They told me we've already been through this before, and I had this intuitive sense that I had experienced this same process at least once before. This whole experience felt like it had been going on for hours, and I couldn't even remember the beginning of it, almost like I was coming out of anesthetics. So one of them asked me to try some cereal she had made for me, and pushed it over to me. It was heavily processed and so I said I was ok, but they both became very angry. So angry, the malevolent intent was oozing from them. They had this good cop bad cop routine going, and one of them said I should definitely eat it because the other one had made it just for me. I insisted I was ok because I was lactose intolerant, even though for some reason I didn't make the connection that it was irrelevant here. Then the lady who made it lunged at me while the other held her back.

Knowing I was trapped here I decided I would neutralize the situation by eating one bite. As soon as I swallowed it, I came back to my bed. I was abnormally calm coming to given what had happened, and even during the ordeal never became afraid. I did however develop an aversion to the suffering I was experiencing. But other than that, I'm not totally sure what to make of the experience. I don't know if I should've held my ground in defiance to risk being "hurt" over a bowl of cereal, or if taking the diplomatic approach like I did was the "correct" move.

I can't remember ever dealing with an experience remotely like this before, but it all seemed staged. The entire experience felt like I was being led down a path and any time I broke away from the script, I was essentially tortured until I conceded. When all of the obnoxious sounds were going off, I thought about sitting down to meditate to completely refuse to engage in any of the theatrics, but ended up not doing so.

Any clue into what the heck happened here?  huh
« Last Edit: October 07, 2018, 05:23:35 by DancingBear » Logged
Nameless
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« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2018, 00:03:56 »

I honestly think sometimes we as humans can be very exasperating to those who reach out to us. I think often they try and try and our thick human consciousness just doesn't retain the experience so we keep going through redos. This would account for that familiar feeling.

Now the frustration could be theirs or it could be ours projected onto the experience. I really am not sure but am betting on a combination.

Should you go through this again and retain any memory perhaps just jumping through the hoops would actually be a good idea. Remember what you think you are seeing is only a projection of what is actually going on. Just a way for your mind to 'see' it. Next time ignore the insults, jump into the screen and eat the cereal so you can get on with the lesson hiding underneath and behind all that.

You may feel differently but think on it and let your own intuition be your guide.
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« Reply #1 on: October 08, 2018, 00:03:56 »

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