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Author Topic: Selski's Journal  (Read 17157 times)
baro-san
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« Reply #125 on: February 07, 2018, 03:33:18 »

I've been giving quite a bit of thought to the NP personality of late. Specifically of its awareness.

In my latest simulation with the dream characters who were coming to get me, my first response about having a mirror was totally NP. I had no idea I was going to say that, or even that I had a mirror. My second response where I put my hand through the wall - I'd say that was my lucid self emerging and merging with my NP self. And the third response where I tried to put myself into and through a character was very characteristic of my lucid self.

So perhaps the balance was tipping from my NP self to my lucid self. The more lucid I got, the less likely I was of staying in the dream. Hmmm.

I wonder: Is the NP personality self-aware? Is that even possible? I think so, but it requires a lucidity that isn't how we would normally understand lucidity.

It kind of hurts my brain to think about it. Perhaps I'll start a separate thread about it as I'd love some input and feedback from other experiencers.


Interesting thoughts.

I'm of the opinion that my non-physical is more self-aware than I am. It is actually like I am one of his many dreams. For him to become lucid in his dream, that is my life, would be when I know that I am his dream. It is exactly as when I am getting lucid in my dream.

Him becoming lucid would help me taylor his dream, my life, using his knowledge and his intentions.
« Last Edit: February 07, 2018, 03:34:55 by baro-san » Logged

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Selski
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« Reply #126 on: February 08, 2018, 22:32:36 »

Fascinating baro-san. Thank you for joining in the discussion. I'm definitely going to start a new thread and will add your comments to it. Am a bit pushed for time ATM, but will get round to it soon.

 smiley
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« Reply #126 on: February 08, 2018, 22:32:36 »

logoVisit the website of Astral Pulse creator Adrian Cooper.

Home of the best selling book Our Ultimate Reality.

Astral Projection, Metaphysics and many other subjects.

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Selski
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« Reply #127 on: February 16, 2018, 16:25:46 »

Before I went to bed, I decided to create a 'safe room' to be able to go to whenever I feel the need. This took quite some time and a couple of things just wouldn't be how I wanted them. For instance, I created a large settee in front of the fire...and it was naturally grey. I tried to make it a different colour - dark red - but it wasn't having it. I managed to get the plush wool carpet to be dark red instead.

In addition, I located the room in the Lake District. Looking out of the window, I wanted to see mountains. Whilst I did see mountains, I also noticed that the room was lower than street level. This wasn't planned...and despite looking out another two times, I couldn't get it aligned with the street, so I had to leave it a bit sunken!  tongue

Two other items in the room I struggled with - an exotic fish tank and a mexican-designed blanket. I couldn't picture the tank or the pattern, and found myself running a commentary instead. This didn't help as it was taking a lot of concentration and I found myself frowning which wasn't relaxing at all. Rather than force myself, I thought I'd look at mexican patterns and exotic fish tanks on Google today, then I can choose one I particularly like and 'remember' it to add to my room tonight.

The room is rather ordinary considering I have my whole imagination to utilise. But I wanted it to be cosy, safe and without the ability for too many surprises. I haven't finished it yet...and plan to add other rooms eventually building my own mental house. I'll also create a garden and go on walks in the mountains and whatnot.

I've got some lovely nature-themed ornaments and the most unusual item is my cigarettes. They are twice as long as normal ciggies, deep purple with black filters. The two colours merge into each other. The tips glow light blue when lit. The smoke, whilst ordinary to taste and inhale, is sparkly blue when it is exhaled and smells of mint. (I don't smoke in waking life.)

I think that spending an hour or more on this exercise before sleep put me in a good mental state for dream recall and lucidity. Which I'll expand on in my next post.
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Selski
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« Reply #128 on: February 16, 2018, 19:40:59 »

I'm with a group of friends. One of the group is talking about buying a notebook. It's getting late and we decide to take the back stairs up which lead to a stationery shop.

As I climb the steps, I slowly become lucid. At the top, I tell everyone calmly that we are in a dream. I explain that I can't climb stairs in waking life, nor can I do this - whereupon I start walking in big strides, bending my knees exaggeratedly.

We walk into a restaurant and sit around a circular table. There are four of us. The waitress knows my friend and serves us immediately. I look at my plate. We've all been given a poached egg, spinach and a slice of bread. I cut open the egg to find the yolk is not runny, but not overly hard.

I'm still yakking on about dreaming and wonder out loud whose dream we are in. I suggest that we are in my dream, given I'm the one talking about it. Then I wonder if it's my friend K sitting to my left. There are two other friends sitting near us on another table. I wonder if it's one of their dreams, because it's their birthday today. Then I suggest that we sing Happy Birthday to them both. Which we do. As per usual in restaurants, most of the customers join in and there is much smiling and clapping at the end. The two friends are called Julie and Amy, but I only sing Julie's name during the song and feel a bit guilty for not singing Amy's name too.


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

This was in the early hours and I'm sure I've missed gaps, given firstly I didn't write it down once I awoke and secondly I had other dreams after it. Even now, it's four hours since I first got out of bed and so there will be more that's lost.

The back stairs leading to the stationery shop are a familiar dream location. I've been there probably half-a-dozen times (that I can recall). The meal is akin to what I ate last night - spinach and ricotto pizza. Ricotta cheese looks a little like poached egg white.  cool

Whilst I got the LD trigger of stairs, I completely missed the fact that my dream guide was sitting next to me. I knew her as K, an old workmate, and not as Kay, my dream guide. Doh.
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« Reply #129 on: February 16, 2018, 20:59:48 »

I'm with another female who is receiving aggressive behaviour from a man. I become lucid enough to grab hold of her arms and get her to face me, looking me in the eyes. I notice that they are very dark brown, almost black.

I tell her she doesn't have to take any crap from this man. I explain that we are dreaming and there are ways to become like a hologram so that he can't touch her. I notice some people standing behind her watching us. I'm aware that they are lucid too and so I wave over at them. She looks at me without comprehension; in fact, it's as if she is asleep and hasn't even heard me, let alone registered what I've been saying.

Instead of talking at/to her, I decide to show her what I mean. I go over to the man and he moves towards me, whereupon I do my hologram trick. It half-works but I can still feel him against me. I walk into him, but can only get half way. This reminds me of the last time I tried this where I failed that time too. I'm slightly puzzled and try to move forwards but it's not happening and so I walk backwards away from him. By this time, he's all of a flummox anyway and leaves us alone.

She has been watching me and runs over to me giving me a big hug. She's confused when she doesn't simply run through me. I tell her to take it slowly, by starting with putting her hand through me first.

The small group of lucid dreamers are still watching me and so I go over to them, leaving the female to wander off and do her own thing.

We start to talk a little about dreaming in general and being lucid. Their general air is one of nonchalance - genuine and not contrived. I get the impression they're used to being lucid and are taking it all in their strides.

I talk about my lucid progress and how I used to be - like a Tasmanian devil. Now I sit and chat with them in a calm and relaxed manner. Despite mentioning dreaming, lucidity and so on more than once, I'm not kicked out nor do I feel the scene fizzling. In fact, I have the idea that I could be lucid for quite some time.

There is a lucid dreamer to my left who is showing signs of a beginner. She's worried about her physical body. I explain to her that she's absolutely fine, her body is fast asleep getting all the rest it needs. I tell her that before too long, she'll either wake up naturally or will slowly lose lucidity and to enjoy it while it lasts.

I turn back to my new-found lucid friends and ask them what's next on the agenda for my lucid journey - what should I expect.

They shrug and look a bit bored, but one tells me there will be a film coming out soon which will change the way the general public view lucid dreams. I ask what the film is called. They tell me and I ask for some paper and pen so I can make a note of it. I explain that I do this so that I'll remember the action of literally writing it down when I awake and have better chance of recalling the title. They smile genially and hand over a notebook and pen. I write down 'Inky Seed' twice and am surprised that it stays exactly as it's written without morphing or disappearing under a loads of squiggles.

Scene-click.

I'm on my own walking along and come across a man who is obviously angry about something. No-one else seems bothered with his actions and I ignore him and walk away. I find his partner who I rush up to and ask him to refuse his mate's advances tonight as he is angry and might hurt him. I'm fairly lucid.


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

Inky Seed? Inky Seed?  rolleyes

When I awoke I thought about my emotions with this new group. When I was helping the 'beginners' this was genuine and not done for any sort of approval or smugness. But I think I was secretly quite pleased and rather proud to be sitting with these old-timers (or so I thought) who took the whole lucidity thing with a pinch of salt. I felt like I'd moved up a level and could hang out with the gang as one of them. Which is odd because they really weren't my kind of people - sort of like lucid hippies: chilled, stoned and unadventurous.

Yeah man.  tongue

Two angry males in separate experiences. Maybe it was a simulation exercise to see how I reacted. Hmmm, needs some thought.
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« Reply #129 on: February 16, 2018, 20:59:48 »



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Selski
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« Reply #130 on: February 25, 2018, 04:58:49 »

Is life a game?

It felt like it today. I had a figure of authority come to see me this morning.

She had to fill out forms and tick boxes. While she was doing so, I daydreamed. Her life is like mine. She's only a figure of authority because that's what I think she is. She's just a person with her own life. Her job is to tick boxes and fill out forms.

Isn't that what we all do?

Not sure what the point is, but maybe there isn't a point.

I quite liked my daydream. I saw it from 'above' - a silly nonsense that we all follow until we die.

I shook my head in a friendly way and thought, 'well, what else are you gonna do'.
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« Reply #131 on: February 25, 2018, 06:28:37 »

Surely we are playing our own game but in a consensus reality where anyting can mess it up. We are in a messy place right now.
I guess we tend to take this game too seriously.
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« Reply #132 on: February 25, 2018, 11:50:28 »

Ultimately, those who take life too seriously die disappointed.
Life is to be handled in the manner which is it... a joke.  Smiley

Life... death... everything in between. 
What you did during your life isn't important.
How & why you did it is the entire point.
Do what you do with a smile on you face and love / kindness in your heart... at that point: you win.  Smiley
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« Reply #133 on: March 04, 2018, 16:07:33 »

Another colleague and I have to go back into work. Due to a previous meeting which included my parents, the company I work for has decided to employ a sex doctor. We need to be in the office in case we get any calls that need transferring to our doctor.

The company isn't associated in any way with sexual products/advice etc., but it's doing this because during the meeting, it transpired that my parents, especially my Mum, could have done with this service when she was younger.

We get two calls and I take the second one. The man goes into some detail about his marriage and I listen carefully. I don't want to interrupt him to put him through as I don't want to appear to be simply passing him on - that would be rude. Eventually he enquires whether there is anything, any pills, that could help his sex life. I tell him I'm going to put him through to our resident doctor who I'm sure will be able to help him and as I'm doing so, the other colleague puts my phone down before I've transferred him - thereby cutting him off.

I'm miffed and she explains that she's not happy with the situation. I tell her that's not the point; it's no longer about her. I'm not that fussed and only hope that he calls in again thinking it was a problem with our phones.

She tells me she's leaving now as it's nearly home time. I decide to go just a short while after her. I go over to a counter to drop something off and get a strong smell of grapefruit.

On the way out, I pass the main reception desk and see a telephone message that the man from before had called again and been put through to the doctor. This makes me happy.

Leaving the building, I go to the zebra crossing. I'm off to meet some friends in a cafe in town. As I'm walking, I realise I've taken a wrong turn and I'm heading into a rough part of town. I backtrack a little, but notice it's actually longer for me go that way and if I continue down the other way, I can nip round and find my bearings again.

As I get to the end of street and turn left to walk back up to the main town area, there is a man in front of me also walking my way and carrying what looks like a large A1-size art portfolio case.

Another man comes up behind us both and stops the art man.

"What you got there, man?" he says aggressively.

"Nothing. Just my art case," art man replies.

"Nice," says rough man, looking it over. "What's it worth?"

"Please leave me alone," says art man.

Rough man takes out a knife.

"Please. It's worth quite a bit. It has a leather bottom..." art man begins.

Rough man is threatening art man with the knife, but unbeknown to either of them I've moved really close. As art man lets go of the handle of his case, I manage to grab it before rough man can take it.

Now the three of us step back from each other.

Art man gets out his knife and holds it up.

I look at him and shake my head quickly, silently asking him not to try anything.

Rough man takes in the situation. He quickly walks over to me, threatening me with the knife. I stand still.

He puts the knife close to my stomach. I completely relax my body.

"Let go pretty b&tch," he says.

"F&%* off," I reply steadily and firmly.

He looks quite surprised at my retort and is taken aback for a second.

"Well now, the pretty b&tch wants to play, does she?" he tries again. He pushes the knife closer into my belly.

"I said let go b&tch."

"And I said f&%* off."

Art man is dithering, wanting to make a move but not wanting to make things worse.

I look at rough man and say once more, "f&%* off".


~~~ooo000ooo~~~

This was a really brief dream just before I awoke this morning. My main interest for writing this one down is because I wasn't actually lucid at any time. That was my NP personality taking over...and it reacted in the same way I would have if I was lucid. Maybe it's picking up tips from my lucid self.  tongue

I suspect the smell of grapefruit triggered the NP awareness.

The rough man was black which may seem racist, except the art man was also black.

I was really up for being cut with the knife. It's a shame it ended where it did...and that makes me wonder once again if I was deliberately thrown out because I'm not doing something I'm supposed to be doing. Or maybe I passed the test because I 'saved' art man. Who knows.
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« Reply #134 on: June 21, 2018, 19:47:18 »

Seems appropriate to post here, seeing as it's the first day of summer. My very first OBE was on this day some 15 years ago.

Last night I had an interesting experience. I was in a car with a friend going towards a bridge. Suddenly a huge tidal wave came towards us very fast. There was no time to turn round, it was a matter of a second or two before we would be engulfed by the water.

For those couple of seconds, my only thought was 'is this real?' I concluded very quickly that it wasn't real and therefore remembered that I could breathe under water.

The experience was much longer involving a dream character who wanted to hurt me. I managed to diffuse the situation by telling him I was dreaming and wanted to learn what he could do. Distracting him from the violence to feeling important and needed.

It was earlier on in the night and I didn't bother to jot down any notes when I awoke. However, I'm pleased that my NP personality is still in fine fettle and ready for action. Now I just need to get my waking life personality interested again.
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« Reply #135 on: June 22, 2018, 03:30:18 »

Quote
I was really up for being cut with the knife. It's a shame it ended where it did...and that makes me wonder once again if I was deliberately thrown out because I'm not doing something I'm supposed to be doing. Or maybe I passed the test because I 'saved' art man. Who knows.

lol... sounds like you like it rough  cheesy

If I had to guess... I think art guy in some way represents you to some degree. You had useful immediate descriptors for the kind of portfolio case he was carrying, which probably means you could have seen yourself carrying it, and therefore that you probably identify with that character. The way you behaved when you intervened represents how you would want to be supported by others / how you would want to believe you would behave?

You on the phone sounds like your base personality.
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« Reply #136 on: August 10, 2018, 12:17:18 »

Tidal waves never work out well for me (deluge of emotion coming in RL), but you're still breathing!

Suddenly a huge tidal wave came towards us very fast. There was no time to turn round, it was a matter of a second or two before we would be engulfed by the water. There was no time to turn round, it was a matter of a second or two before we would be engulfed by the water. For those couple of seconds, my only thought was 'is this real?' I concluded very quickly that it wasn't real and therefore remembered that I could breathe under water.
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« Reply #137 on: August 20, 2018, 00:10:30 »

lol... sounds like you like it rough  cheesy

 grin I often come across confrontations in dreams. I think it's to do to with how I feel about myself - I can be rather self-sabotaging at times.

I like your thoughts on the dream - I reckon you're onto something.  smiley
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« Reply #138 on: August 20, 2018, 00:13:03 »

Tidal waves never work out well for me (deluge of emotion coming in RL), but you're still breathing!


Hi Ziggy  cool

It took me years to get to the stage where I now naturally remember that I can breathe. Even now, there are times when I forget, but it's a great ability to use in dreams.  smiley
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« Reply #139 on: August 30, 2018, 04:04:21 »

I've had duck breasts to serve.

That sounds ridiculous.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtXby3twMmI

Let me share this instead.

It's just as stupid, but it makes me smile.  smiley
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« Reply #140 on: August 30, 2018, 04:32:26 »

We are diamonds taking shape.

 grin

This is the only place I can share. I only share when I'm on my own.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lDOZBL34p3w&list=PLATeyS5bPJiGOdIhry_oRjCvd24m9wTPX

I realised something recently.

I'm fond of looking back and my dreams reflect that nostalgia.

Life is not about looking back, nor looking at the present, not the future.

It's about beyond all that.

It's about death.

That sounds serious. It probably is.

It probably isn't.  grin

A joke.

 cheesy

I'm an idiot.



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« Reply #141 on: September 02, 2018, 16:56:24 »

'Peacocks are dangerous at this time of day.'

It was dusk and I turned round to see a peacock follow us through the gate. It wasn't heading in our direction and it didn't look aggressive (it's feathers were down) but not long after,  I awoke. Not through fear or worry, but because I'd thrown the covers off the bed and my physical body was getting cold. This bled through to my dream self whose legs were shivering!

 grin
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