Hello, Astral Pulse!
**** NOTE: This is a very long post so I don't expect that anyone should read it through, and of course I don't expect anyone to come along and answer all of my problems! I would just like some input from some of you more enlightened people
Since this is my first post here I thought that the introductory forum was the best place to put it, however it does contain a lot of stuff other than introduction so if it needs to be moved I won't be offended
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I stumbled upon this forum a few nights ago on my phone while laying in bed. I've been lurking ever since, but decided it was time to dive in and soak up some of your guys' infinite knowledge first hand.
When I was about 13 or 14, I discovered astral projection and other psychical phenomena and was completely stricken with utter amazement. The only thing I could think about for months, even years was the unhindered ability to explore, have questions answered, learn, grow, etc. I did all the research into the matter that I could, and practiced all the techniques I could find with an almost obsessive attitude. Never an ounce of luck.
Then 2 things happened:
One night, I 'dreamed' I was floating just above the rooftop of the house I grew up in. I was holding my cat in my arms. I though "This is it! I'm free! I can go anywhere now..." I looked over to a distant part of the city from my ethereal perch and though "I should go visit my boyfriend!" Then I suddenly dropped my cat and watched in horror as it fell to the Earth. When it hit the street, I woke up.
On a separate occasion, I fell soundly asleep one night with the thought of astral travel vaguely lingering in the back of my mind. At some point in the night, I woke up and when I opened my eyes, I found that the ceiling of my bedroom was no further than 3 to 4 inches in front of my face and a sick, heavy feeling of suspension. I immediately felt nauseated and afraid and started to reach back for my bed. With the force of 100 car wrecks, I was slammed back into bed and extreme nausea overtook me. I scrambled out of my room and down the hall, diving towards the toilet in just enough time to vomit rather heavily into it.
After that, it seems that no amount of practice, exercise, research or any of that does any good. I eventually gave up and only recently rekindled my desperate amazement with the astral. I feel absolutely no fear when I practice, just extreme excitement and curiosity. But still it seems that no amount of anything yields any results.
I have been using a tricky method to explore the states between awake and asleep by tapping my finger while I fall asleep. I suddenly realize that I am not tapping my finger anymore, and it's weird because that realization comes to me before the realization hat I have fallen asleep and woken back up. It's as if my mind resumes focus on the activity I've tasked myself with rather than paying attention to the sleep states. I use this small window of time to begin deep, engulfing visualizations in an effort to entertain my imagination while my body falls back asleep (while tapping my finger), but it seems that my powers of visualization are compromised. I can only imagine things very vaguely, and my mind is very aggressive about ending my visualizations. I find that the more detail I am able to muster, the harder it becomes to maintain, and that my mind will just black out and make it VERY difficult for me to return to the visualization. The only way I am able to delay the breaking of my visualizations is to touch something, but even then it's only a matter of time before I black out and have to work very hard to get it back.
A few nights ago, I imagined myself wandering outside my house near where my car and truck are parked. It was more vivid than I am used to (perhaps because of the location's close proximity to my physical location?), but still it kept fading a way. I found that if I placed my hands on my car, I could maintain the visualization for longer, so I proceeded to wander around outside while keeping my hands firmly planted on my car, and only moving away from my car when I had something else to touch. The visualization was completely uninfluenced by my creativity, and everything I saw out there was exactly as it would have been if I had physically walked outside and looked around.
I am also very sexually supercharged, and find that the visualizations that I can create in the greatest detail and hold for the longest are very strongly sexual in nature.
I guess I could go on typing for days but these things that I have presented here hold my most immediate curiosity. I guess a part of me knows that I should take a step back and try other things like energy exercises, thought control, etc before trying to all out "leave" my body, but I just haven't the slightest idea where to start.
But the main thing I hope any reader takes away from this long and cumbersome post is that I'm Pharoah, and I'm very glad to meet you all and look forward to an enlightening experience here at AP!
<3
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