Hello, Astral Pulse community!
I've named my anonymous digital poltergeist for this forum after a Kurt Vonnegut character, having recently found solace in the satiric humor of his books. I'll hardly be in character, though. Just wanted a username I haven't used before that suggests at least something of me.
I had been a strongly spiritual person, until last Summer, when it all collapsed for me. An existential crisis. The details are lame and unimportant. Now I'm merely an apostrophe for a mental construct in my brain, surrendered to an absurd world, weary of false hopes.
I've had many astral projections in the past! They have returned to me now, at their typical rate of about once a month, after a long period of absence I attribute to a very anxious bunch of years that kept me chained to the demands of physical reality. If I had any projections I forgot them upon waking up. I had no mental space for dreams and such, sacrificing all that I had to "real life."
Since last Summer, the intensity withdrew, at my own insistence. I wasn't having anymore. Not going back to college until at least the Fall of next year.
I would not have already spent the two and a half years of my parents money now all wasted on that major had I not believed I really had the spirit in me to do what I aspired to do. I made good grades all along! 3.9 GPA! But anxiety and chronic sickness, and runaway wishful thinking, drove me insane, and to the aforementioned collapse.
But all that is lame and unimportant; I didn't mean to tell.
Despite my out of body experiences, which have been so sweetly profound that I look forward to every night as another chance at such a thing! - despite the profundity, I'm unconvinced. I feel like a victim of superstition to have believed them to be genuine proof of spirituality for so long. I've never yet seen anything from out of body that I didn't know about before, that I could then verify from in-the-body, to validate the feeling of really drifting out of myself. The brain is capable of such realistic visualization, I've now convinced myself, that it seems more plausible to dismiss the profound experiences as lucid dreams of sorts; very fun, but mere hallucinations.
I know some astral travelers claim to be able to reach the "real time zone," that supposedly mimics physical reality. But there appears to be only one documented case of someone actually learning something from out of body about the physical universe that she didn't know before. And she could only do it on the fourth night!
http://www.near-death.com/tart.html And that was more than thirty years ago! 19-f******-68!
If there are indeed people who are capable of these "etheric projections," why have there not been more stories like this? Why are people not going public with these special capabilities that would surely have profound implications for all humanity? Where have you been?
... Despite my skepticism of the validity of the out-of-body phenomenon as genuinely external to the brain, I certainly love the sensation, and wish to develop my capacity for it - I want more! It's quite orgasmic. I'd love to develop greater control over it and experience it more regularly. Along with love, sex, drugs, and creativity, it's one of those things that makes life worth it even if it's just an absurd thing in my brain.
Hello, hello, dear Astral Pulse community.
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