Herr Wolfe, I am going to assume at this point that you are doing the Tower of Light three times a day, and are incorporating an affirmation or two as well into your daily spiritual routine. I am also going to assume you are holding off from doing chakra work for a few weeks while you focus on building up your aura, and any meditation you do is done within the ToL.
The three broad issues we want to address are environment, aura (damage, protection, and healing), and control over your own mind. The aura is being addressed by the Tower of Light, and we will focus on environment last. (More important is to gain control over you own being first.) What we want to work on now is control over your own mind.
You have described to me being attacked in dreams, and while awake being attacked via memories you have had. That is, your pleasant memories are being hijacked into dark experiences, if I understood what you told. What you need to do is take control back of your mind in this regard in general, and your memory system in specific. You also need to learn how to close the doors in your mind so to speak when you feel the onset of a mental hijack.
The first thing is to learn to control your memory storage system. This will do two things – first, it will give you conscious control, and second, it will remove the fear-response by denying the “hijack” the ability to turn good memories into freighting ones.
Memory in most people is visual, with an audio component. When they remember someone or an event, they see a picture in their head of it, and there is often a soundtrack with it. For example, an embarrassing moment in school will likely be remembered as visual images of the event, and the sound of being laughed at or a cutting remark.
This memory is made of media components, for lack of a better word. For instance, the brighter and clearer the image, the bigger and closer and more colorful it is, then the more impacting it will be on the person when they remember it. On the other hand, a dim memory is often in black and white, is small and grainy, and is distant. Such a memory does not impact a person’s emotions much if any.
What the hijack does is take the positive components such as bright vibrant colors and begin replacing them with negative and fearful imagery. For instance, the faces of familiar people are blotted out with pitch black wells of darkness, turning the memory and re-experience of it negative.
You see, how we feel about things is governed by the way memory is stored in the brain. If you change the way the memory is stored, it will change the way you feel about it. So when the hijack changes the positive media components of memories into negative ones, it changes how you feel about the memories, turning your positive memories into negative ones, and lowering your happiness overall. It can also bring about a fear-response.
The hijack takes a positive memory and starts replacing the positive media components to negative ones. It takes the color out of the event and turns it black, turning your feelings black.
There are two options when faced with this type of hijack. You can wrest control back, or take the wind out of it. To wrest it back you use the force of will to turn the blackness, for example, back into familiar faces. This is a test of will, and well worth your time, but my suggestion is to instead just take the wind out it.
Rather than fight to turn the imagery back, it is easier to simply further adjust the imagery components into a state where it is no longer has the stimulus to provoke you. But before I show you how to do this, it is easier to show you how to deal with a negative memory in general. This can apply to any negative memory you may have, and can apply as well to any time that the situation you’ve been describing plays on your greatest fears.
Here is how to do it. Whenever you have a negative memory, (or are dwelling on a fear and are seeing pictures of it in playing out in your head), there is probably a specific image or mind-movie that comes up. What you need to do is change the media components of this image or movie (and soundtrack if any). First, make the picture a dull black and white, then make it grainy, then make it small like the size of a 5 x 8 picture, then put a picture frame around it, then make it distant to you like 10 feet way, then decrease the size to a postage stamp and make it further away. If there is a soundtrack, change the audio. Have you ever played old vinyl records? You know how you can turn the speed down on a 45 to a 33, and it will be slow and droning? Do this with the audio, turn it down to a dull droning that obliterates the words and voice-tone into a dull drone.
Whenever you have a negative memory - or are dwelling on a fear in your mind - no matter what it is, change the audio/visual components as described above, and push it away from you – all the way off the edge of the earth (if the earth were flat).
To get the hang of this, take any negative or embarrassing memory you may have, and apply the above method so it no longer has the emotional punch. Before you start changing it, go into the memory and reexperienced it and write down the emotional reaction level you have to it on a scale of 1-10. After you have adjusted it using the above method, write down what your emotional reaction to it now is. It should have lowered extensively, or be entirely gone.
Also, after you have got the hang of doing this, I want you to go back into the memory of the cat and the faces, and as the faces change to blackness, I want you to use the above method to frame it, shrink it, and push it far away etc. Work it until you can do it in a split second.
If it happens in a dream, you can go back into the memory of the dream and apply the method to take the punch out of it. If it plays on your greatest fear, take the color out of it, frame it, shrink it, and push it off the edge of the earth.
If you feel a memory being hijacked real-time, because you have now learned the method, you can take care of it in a split second. You can head it off before it even gets going.
Let me know how you do.