help breaking a connection

[flymetothestars]

This is a long story and been going on now for some years and I at my wit ends on how to resolve it. it involves an ex. We broke up now  a long time ago and it wasn't a nice break up (who's is?). I thought I behaved good considering and so I felt I did not have any regrets. He on the other hand was another story. I'm guessing he had his own internal hell that got the best of him and it was easier to blame someone else for it, me, projecting. If anything it only convinced me we were not right for each other and we were doing the right thing to part.

Then days, weeks, months, even years to come he would now and then try to reach out, but I didn't want to try again. I did not know of it then but he wouldn't get into a serious relationship after an unreal long period of time after our break up. That should have been the end of the story, relationship. This is however when something starts going off. 

I get it if I dream of him if I have something to clear out or have feelings left but i know by now I don't and there is no reset in this scenario either. It is he who somehow turn up in my dreams. In real life we are connected still.

What is the best way to break this connection?

[Lumaza]

What is the best way to break this connection?

Forgive him. Truly and deeply forgive him! After you do that, you will find that you can finally release him.

[flymetothestars]

Forgive him. Truly and deeply forgive him! After you do that, you will find that you can finally release him.

Thank you! I have tried to do that but it is as if it doesn't help, but I will try to do so again, hoping I got it right.

But still I am thinking could it still not be about some part of him have not worked through it? how then can I stop him from "breaking in" my dreams? The things I've tried so far have not worked. Long periods of time when I do not think of him and nothing happens and still he manage to get in there somehow.

He knew spiritualism, wanting to talk to me about it when we were on, but I can't remember if he talked about astral projections. That irritates me but I can't help it, can't remember. He would get more into it during the relationship and would ask around but I was pretty much left out of it (my own choice) and he did not like that, wanting me involved too. I was so busy with other things.

He's angry or serious but have it under control when ever he gets into my dreams. Never easy going.

At times I have wondered if he has not simply "abducted" me somehow. I wonder if that can even be done? It is as if I wake to in the dreams. It is so very different then from a normal dream. He too is very real than if I had just had a dream of him and working through my own thing.

There is never anything sexual going on and no feeling of that under the surface (not on my part) and I'm always fully dressed. He has arranged for everything as if we're out on a date. It's the theme. That is my conclusion so far. It is not somewhere we've been in real life. I'm not dressed the way I was back then so it isn't memories, or any reminder of it. It is something new, but by now as this has been happening now several times, it is now a memory of it's own, but if so in the dreams alone, as I'm thinking that is where it has once been created? I have thought if he is the creator of that? If this is by his taste the dream date he had wanted to take me out on once he had changed his mind and wanted me back again? The other thought I have had is too much, that this is by his own creation the preevent of what was to hopefully later come, if you get what I mean, but never does, that I know of at least, as I wake up. Each time it is as if he's holding me back?

No offense to him but it would not be my choice of a date, but it is very classic so I shouldn't complain, ha ha. The times when I have experienced it as if he has "abducted" me it takes me longer to get myself out of there. I can't think, feel or move in these "abduction"-dreams. It is as if I am in my own body, only not.  I don't make sense, do I? I wish to one day get clarity to how this could be. I understand if nobody knows what's going on here, I sure don't ha ha. 

Times too when I have been in some sort of trouble in my dreams, when it feels too different and too real (I've had this especially since I was a child, this other real feeling and I think I would astral project, travel). Then he shows up,
a)he gets hold of me or b) creates a solution, example pushing things aside, people or something aside, and take me out of there or am on his way to taking me out of there and then I wake up.
No offense again but in real life he never showed up to be an emotional or practical support. Emotional I wouldn't say (in the dreams), but practically I would say. There is no talking and no telepathy involved, it just happens. I have thought if that is some old stuff wish believe I had while in the relationship even if I can't remember it, and that he would still in his current state never do that, that it isn't him, just old wish believe and imagination?

In real life it's been impossible to talk through the break up with him, so we could put it behind us, moving on. He would ask again and again. It was impossible in my opinion because of the way he was, operated. I have thought before if it would help him, but I knew him and it was no use. He only wanted us back together and he would say things and not mean them. He was like that before too so I knew. Perhaps that is what has pushed him to instead visit me in my dreams and not care if I approve of that or not?

In real life when we were together he was not the type to want to talk things through and I think that hurt both him and us more than if he would have but I couldn't change him. He was like that. He would hold on to things. Like he couldn't move forward.
I've thought if this is how he continued to be that that is why the connection still is as he won't or don't know how to work through it himself? That he's stuck. He's alive but he's stuck.

There was a time in the relationship when I thought if we were to join couple counseling, but no interest in that. He was very closed off that way. Suspicious. He was suspicious when it came to me too. Think someone got to him before I did and he blamed me for that too. He was damaged good before. I wasn't.

If he knows astral projection, how to enter dreams, or if he knows remote view that means he can then himself check on me and even if I don't care in some ways, that I still think that is for sure not an OK t hing to do, don't like that ,if he has now done that. I believe we're pretty much never alone anyhow, but still you don't want exes around like that.

Has been times I have felt him near (in real life) long time after our break up without having a clue and then walked off, to when I have returned found out he's been there. If I had not had that sudden input I would have still stayed and we would have met.

In real life he has given me all his contact information so I know anytime I can reach out but I don't want to. He has been reclusive with some but for what ever the reason not with me and he has kept on leaving new contact information in sometimes peculiar ways through time. I don't know what to say. I haven't reach out.

Times when I have had a thought in my head, an idea, lets say where to move when it has felt as if it is something about that input, feeling that is connected to him. Even if I at the time have not known if so I have then chose not to act on it. Then later I have found out he has. It is all either a bunch of strange coincident or something else is up, but I don't know what? If he is putting those thoughts in my head (OK that sounds crazy) or if we lets say planned it that way together before coming to earth, had we still been a couple?  I know that me finally walking away from him was perhaps one of the most important decisions of my life and not something I regret, for both of us. I think he would be much more happy with someone else, hopefully. I have read up on parallel lives and thought if I had made the decision to return, and he as well, if that is the life course I am somehow connected to? My own parallel life? Then I get dizzy from all these speculations, and go what ever.

When there was an increase from my experiences with him long after the break up it was simultaneously as I was in a serious and happy then relationship and it goes beyond from what I have so far described. There were pics of us online and information, and we were building our life together. At the time his life seemingly had stagnated, whether it was his own choice or not I couldn't say. Perhaps it would have been better had he found someone he was serious about before I did. What I experienced then (which I have not written about here) would after a while dissipate as I made sure no new pics of me or us were published anywhere, that seemed to do the trick. I can't be sure naturally if it was that causing it or something else but I tried all sorts of things before to prevent more experiences (not talking about dreams now) and all I know is that it was that that finally made it stop.

Thank you, will try again and hope that is the end of it.

[Lumaza]

 I hate that word "try". It has been proven that Hypnotists use the word "try", when they expect failure. Either do it or don't. Intent is powerful when directed in the proper way.

 Next time you see him in your Dream or NPR experience, tell him you forgive him. Talk to him, Say what you have wanted to say for a long time now.

 In your NPR experiences, does this seem like a "different version" of him? A different personality? What you are experiencing could be a different dimensional version of the same person. But in that dimension, you are likely different as well. Your NP personality that is. I find this to be true for myself, on a number of occasions.

 I still see people that have done me wrong in the past in my Dreams. Yet, they don't have the effect that they used to have on me anymore. A famous, now deceased Author named Dolores Cannon came up with a fantastic technique for forgiveness. It had to do with "tearing up the contract" that you had with said person in your life. You would mentally say and mean it when you said it "I forgive you, I release you, I let you go. You are no longer part of my life or reality". You then would mentally visualize yourself tearing up a contract between you and the offending person. i found that I had to do that a number of times, before it finally "stuck". Just mentally saying the words a few times really didn't do it. It had to be the "feeling" and strong intent behind it to finally make a difference.

[Nameless]

!) You have unresolved issues
2) He has unresolved issues
3) This is a test, only a test.

[LightBeam]

Change the way you perceive your relationship with him. Accept it as beneficial for certain lessons that you had to learn and give thanks for this opportunity, regardless if it was positive or negative.

Destroy his contact Information to remove temptation to reach out and stop thinking about him. Let go through sincere forgiveness and gratitude for the learned lessons.

Accept that this part of your life had served its purpose and this attachment is no longer needed. However, if in your mind you are still holding grudges, this will keep repeating.

No one can "invade" someone's personal spiritual space unless the receives lets them. You may not want to let him in consciously, but you do subconsciously due to unresolved issues. Ask what these issues are and listen to your inner self.

Focus on someone else.

[flymetothestars]

I hate that word "try". It has been proven that Hypnotists use the word "try", when they expect failure. Either do it or don't. Intent is powerful when directed in the proper way.

 Next time you see him in your Dream or NPR experience, tell him you forgive him. Talk to him, Say what you have wanted to say for a long time now.

 In your NPR experiences, does this seem like a "different version" of him? A different personality? What you are experiencing could be a different dimensional version of the same person. But in that dimension, you are likely different as well. Your NP personality that is. I find this to be true for myself, on a number of occasions.

 I still see people that have done me wrong in the past in my Dreams. Yet, they don't have the effect that they used to have on me anymore. A famous, now deceased Author named Dolores Cannon came up with a fantastic technique for forgiveness. It had to do with "tearing up the contract" that you had with said person in your life. You would mentally say and mean it when you said it "I forgive you, I release you, I let you go. You are no longer part of my life or reality". You then would mentally visualize yourself tearing up a contract between you and the offending person. i found that I had to do that a number of times, before it finally "stuck". Just mentally saying the words a few times really didn't do it. It had to be the "feeling" and strong intent behind it to finally make a difference.

Will do! Thanks, really appreciate this. Yes, you're right! It surprised me at first that his physical body seemed different to me and so I was at first thinking that it could not be him, not how I had remembered him looking. Then as it kept happening I then searched on him online and felt actually really nauseous doing that at the time. As if I was invading his space even if it was public, out there, for anyone to see. That I shouldn't have. At the time because of my strong reaction (feeling nauseous) I would say I had not worked through everything from the past and this was bringing it back in again somehow, a reminder. Then I saw that I had been wrong. He actually, believe it or not, looked the way he did in the dreams! His physical appearance had changed and every bit of those changes I had seen in the dreams before I saw the pictures of him online. It was difficult for me to buy into that and understand if nobody believes this. I had looked to get reassurance that I had been wrong and instead I got that: He had actually changed like that. Not how you think someone is going to change naturally with age.

[flymetothestars]

Change the way you perceive your relationship with him. Accept it as beneficial for certain lessons that you had to learn and give thanks for this opportunity, regardless if it was positive or negative.

Destroy his contact Information to remove temptation to reach out and stop thinking about him. Let go through sincere forgiveness and gratitude for the learned lessons.

Accept that this part of your life had served its purpose and this attachment is no longer needed. However, if in your mind you are still holding grudges, this will keep repeating.

No one can "invade" someone's personal spiritual space unless the receives lets them. You may not want to let him in consciously, but you do subconsciously due to unresolved issues. Ask what these issues are and listen to your inner self.

Focus on someone else.

Thank you too, really. I have thought some more and edited my reply. I think it is lots of energy that went into the bad break up and that energy on some level perhaps stayed on as the bond between us.

I would remove, throw away any contact information he gave over time automatically.

[flymetothestars]

!) You have unresolved issues
2) He has unresolved issues
3) This is a test, only a test.

Thank you. I believe you're right.

[flymetothestars]

Thought maybe I should all the things I have tried before:
a)something called astral divorce
b)do not think about the ex, ok? then not loosing, waking up the energy there
c)thought i had forgiven him but could have not done all the job i should have done to a full forgiveness. when i did forgive first time the connection changed but it did not break. think it was because of fear of what he could do.

in real life he would be very serious about some things and he would do it til he knew fully. with him i felt as if he was always steps ahead. because of that personality trait, his interest in the spiritual (even if he was, still is very materialistic, status-lover) and just everything i've experienced so far has made me come to the conclusion he is good at this astral traveling stuff.

After the break up and he wanting me back he would do the same things to get me back over and over. As it did not work the first time i did not understand why he kept doing it. he would do the same things for years even especially when given the chance and it always brought everything back in a flash. It is the very same when he appears in the visit "date" dream. It is the same thing, date, that happens.... Can he control me because that is how it feels like, as if i am a puppy, part of a show, trapped in it. Perhaps I felt like a character back before when we were dating and he had planned something, that somehow it wasn't personal. I only had to stream along.

In real life he would plan and follow through some very cute, well thought through and expensive too (not everything was expensive) and i think that was partly why i once fell in love with him why he would go out of his way for me. But if I would ask him for help, practical, emotional (not financially) he would not help not even with the smallest thing. I was always the opposite of that and I know it was quite a shock to me when realizing that. He was not the good guy he would portray himself as.

I wonder what is the best way to forgive someone, symbolically? writing a letter but not sending it?
in the mind alone? if i remove the fear or anger i am hoping it will work? I think why it has taken so long is because my healing process was interrupted by me knowing he would now and then "pop up" bringing nothing but fear and anger back, alive again. As he was not only interested in expressing he was sorry but also to have me back it was that too. Had he only expressed he was sorry to then go away I think that would have meant closure to me.

When he began to appear in my dreams in the date-dreams looking different and I was to look him up on the web some period after to try to convince myself it was just imagination I got afraid as I could then tell his looked had changed into that. He looked in the present time as he had now began to appear looking like in the dreams. That made me think there was something to this, that this was real. I could not have known. I am guessing he thinks he is better looking these days than when we were a couple. I couldn't really tell. To me it is off as I am not in love with him now and before, years before, when I was I was in love with how he looked then which meant something positive to me.