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Author Topic: I feel swamped. I think I'm 'awakening'. Can anyone help me understand?  (Read 2648 times)
Rossco
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« on: June 23, 2015, 14:25:34 »

Hi all. Hope you're all well.
First post and very new to all this.
*long post alert* Apologies for the essay.

I was wondering if anyone could point me in the right direction. I seem to keep going in circles or coming to dead ends. I'm not even sure what the question is that I'm looking for the answer to. And there may be more than one! I just feel stuck.
I'll tell my story if you will listen, and hopefully you can offer some kind of opinion.
Any advice or criticism at all will be taken constructively so don't hold back.

Sometimes I wonder, am i going insane or am I having an epiphany.
Sometimes I feel like a god I never prayed to is reaching out to me and other times it's like the devil is doing a dance across my soul.

Some background.
I'm 33 now. From leaving school I lived a pretty self destructive life. Always had a job but never really went anywhere with it. Permanently drunk and out of my mind. Minor scrapes here and there. Nothing too bad but never good.
I had trouble eating as a child so my parents were told to give me anything I would put in my mouth and could keep down. As a result my diet until my mid 20's was all processed food, high in sugar and hydrogenous fat. Everything you don't need in your life.
I've always had a lot of stress in my life. I seem to attract people who are looking for trouble. It's like a curse. Especially at work. It's like I'm either singled out as the competition. Or labelled odd with no explanation.
I'm starting to guess there may have always been something about me others see, but I'm just starting to feel it.

Anyway, a combination of all the long days, late nights, bad living and constant battles took its toll, I started having severe stomach cramps which were treated with more alcohol.
by age 31/32 I'd been diagnosed with food allergies.

This is where things appear, to me, to go crazy.

It was a fight getting the doctor to admit there was anything even wrong with me.
I think they just gave me the label to pacify me. They couldn't find 1 thing ACTUALLY wrong.
They claimed I was imagining things and that maybe I'd looked too far into it on Google.
But certain foods were making my life hell.

I decided to take things in hand and change my life. I started with my diet, cutting out all sugar, dairy and gluten.
I obtained some self hypnosis audios to stop smoking.
What I found was startling. I hadn't even considered I might have stress anxiety and certainly hadn't realised I was suffering it, but that audio changed my life. The breathing exercises caused a complete drop in pressure in my mind and body. All the negative thoughts and anger started to subside. All the tension ebbed away.

From there I invested a lot of time in hypnosis, subliminal imaging and binaural audios to correct all sorts of things that I started to realise were wrong.

While in a trance, I started getting a sensation of pressure in my mind. Like my brain had become a rock and was weighing down on my sinuses. It was like a stress headache, without the ache.
I played around with it and after a while, found I could evoke the sensation whenever I wanted, and adjust the intensity.
I can also move it around to any location in my brain.
I was playing with it one day, when I noticed my lower back arching off the bed.
All the muscles were tensed rock hard.
Something in my mind said "let it go".
I relaxed and lowered my bum back to the bed. The voice came again and said "now put the two together".
Something inside me seemed to link my brain to the base of my spine.
An explosion went off in my mind, chemicals rushing out of my brain, coursing through my body from top to bottom, then it felt like they were bouncing back, travelling back up my body in waves.
I felt like I was melting through the bed as my body relaxed to extremes I never imagined possible.
I started seeing white lights and kind of jumped, a little shocked at what was happening. I tried to concentrate on these lights but from what I've read I maybe should have just let them go on. I lost all the sensations and the lights stopped. I couldn't get back to it again.

I started watching videos on YouTube and and looking up sites on Google. Some things seemed to make sense.
One thing in paricular stood out a mile. De-calcification of the pineal gland.
The first thing I ruled out of my life was dairy.
Just before all these experiences started, I broke my wrist. It took 9 weeks to heal. Blood tests showed my calcium was at almost zero. Maybe the way it all happened is nothing more than coincidence. I can't help getting a feeling that's maybe not so.

So I started clicking the links and watching the videos. From there I've only had a couple of brief lucky moments where it will fire up but I just lose it. As soon as the lights appear I seem to lose any focus and all control.
Every time I've tried since, I fall asleep. Then I wake up erratic, angry, sad, confrontational.
It takes me a while to become calm again.
Anywhere I look for answers on how to get further seem quite vague. It always seems to be somebodies opinion or experience. Quite often I get a feeling it shouldn't be used as a trusted source, or that I should be creating my own experiences. Then I lose interest in the piece.

I've logged countless hours of  meditation and am trying to  change my whole attitude to life.
I've started reading about things on pages like this. I get about 3 lines in and just feel swamped and lost. Things such as phasing. I don't even understand electricity so it might as well have been a foreign language.
I've tried things such as laws of the universe and giving a bit back to life. Trying to right wrongs and move forward.
Despite my efforts at building inner peace, I'm just not getting it.

I've had just two more experiences so far.
 I would love for someone to help me understand these experiences, though I do realise it was my experience and could be irrelevant to anyone else. Here goes though...

1. Not long after my initial experience, I was going to bed 1 night and sometimes listen to music on in-ear earphones.
I put some dance music on and laid down. A few relaxing breaths later I started firing up. The beat of the music maybe (?) triggered something. The lights came and I had no choice. It just happened.
After a short display of some very pretty, visual light shows, I started to see faces of things that were neither human nor animal. They looked like big ugly green monsters. If you ever seen the cartoon of the BFG, they resembled the mean giants. They looked like they were snapshot images, the hue making it look like they were taken under a flaming torchlight.
It was as if someone was flicking through a picture book really fast. Face after face after face.
As fast as a click of the fingers, it changed to pictures of what looked like galaxies. Imagine seeing picture after picture, showing different galaxies just clicking over and over, different ones every time.
I think I must have fallen asleep because that is all I remember.
Could anyone tell me who these beings were? Why I was seeing them?
Or where these galaxies could be and why I would see them?

2. After these 2 experiences I tried getting there again and could only evoke the brain sensations.
However one day, while meditating and getting quite frustrated because I couldn't settle, I was about to give up on the whole thing. Out of nowhere my mouth opened and the words "bless me" just seemed to fall out.
I swear, somebody stood in front of me and placed their hands on my head. I was alone in an empty house.
Where the "hands" were (above my ears on the knuckle of the skull), I got that sensation of pressure in the brain.
I got a rush through my body and then my hands started getting warmer and warmer. They became so hot I ended up having to go in the bathroom and run the cold tap over them. I've had it several times since.

I was never baptised and have never practiced any religion. I have no idea where the words came from.

There have been a few other incidents, a few random visualisations that seem to come true or have significance.
I seem to see "energy" in the sky. It sometimes looks static and sometimes appears to be following a pattern. Maybe brain waves possibly?
If I'm sat next to an electrical appliance I get a hissing in my ears. Sometimes it really makes me feel dizzy and nauseous. Like pressure is building around me.
There was an experience that left me thinking "that guy just prayed to his god for a miracle..... and I came along!". Again, no idea where that voice comes from. Certainly isn't conscious thought.
If someone is stood next to me looking miserable, with slumped shoulders, I feel depression.
If someone is stood bouncing about, with shoulders hunched up, I get anxiety.
If somebody around me is angry, I get angry.
It's like I'm feeding off the energy of others. Or they're feeding off me. I have no idea?
Just before all these feelings started I also shot a film of myself speaking (just on a mobile/cell phone). A white orb appears to fall through the door beside me and dissappear. Another orb falls through and seems to grow in strength before turning into smoke. The smoke drifts across towards me, goes to my mouth, then shoots up to the ceiling. There are a couple of smaller orbs appear also.
I've also, more than once, breathed a deep sigh and odourless smoke comes from my mouth. Looks similar to what's on the video.
I sometimes wake from dreams seeming to be able to interpret what they mean.
I seem to have developed a habit of "noticing" someone stood beside me. But when I turn there's nobody there. Could be paranoia admittedly. 
Most of these things all occur randomly. I'd love to convey some of them in more depth.
They are stories in themselves though, and I feel like I've rambled on for long enough!
I also appreciate my imagination may be going into overdrive.
It would be nice if someone could confirm or refute either way.

I suppose my question is, what the hell is going on?!
I can't talk to anyone about this without them looking at me funny and edging away slowly (taking all sharp things with them!!).
I honestly don't know what to think any more.
I feel like I've been lied to my whole life.
But why? By who?
I feel like I've been granted something special, but no real clue what that something is, or how to use it.
The more things that happen to me, the more I start to wonder if I need a doctor.
The less I'm able to see what these things are, or what the purpose is, the more intrigued I become.
The more intrigued I am, the less I seem able to find answers.
And that's becoming frustrating.
It's like I've been raised to believe religions a sham. Spirituality is brain washing.
Magic is all an illusion.
Science proves all of these notions fantasy.
And now here I am writing this, questioning everything.

I've been conditioned to believe my experience is improbable.  But deep down I've always enjoyed the fantasy. Do ghosts exist? Can people read minds? Is there such a thing as a "guardian angel"?
And I've certainly wished for proof it happens.
I just never expected to get that proof!
It may or may not happen to others, but could it really be happening to me?
It's causing a great deal of confusion.

Then I feel like I have a quandary in deciding, is there a god?

Do I need to dedicate myself to a religion?
If so, which god is calling out to me?

Or is it scientific?
Nature?
Am I going crazy?
Who or what is driving me?
Is there any method or chemistry to this?
Why won't things that have worked once, work again?

So there is my story.
If there is anything else you could do with knowing please ask.
I have looked about but I don't have the knowledge to trust the sites or people using them. This is the first site I've looked at (regarding the subject of projection etc) where I feel comfortable enough to post.
If anyone can recommend any sites and possible reading material, or offer information of any kind I would be in your debt.
I have tried reading posts on the site. Honestly, my minds fogging. I just can't get my head round it all.

I feel like  I need a solid base to start from.

Where would you go from here?

I do realise it could all be down to me from here, but I'm hoping someone can give me a clue.

Many thanks for taking the time.

Hope you have a good day!




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Xanth
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« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2015, 17:19:17 »

First, I'll be honest... I only got to read about 2/3rds of your post, I've kind of run out of time as I have to start work.
But, I will say this... from reading that first 2/3rds, you're extremely unbalanced and you've pretty much done it all to yourself.  Your energy is, quite literally, *EVERYWHERE*.

You need to work on bringing that awareness back to YOU, back to NOW... this moment in time.  Then work on bringing balance to yourself.  Bring balance to your NOW.

We'll start there... think about it for now.  Smiley

Welcome to the forum!
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« Reply #1 on: June 23, 2015, 17:19:17 »

logoVisit the website of Astral Pulse creator Adrian Cooper.

Home of the best selling book Our Ultimate Reality.

Astral Projection, Metaphysics and many other subjects.

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Volgerle
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« Reply #2 on: June 23, 2015, 19:04:02 »

Wow, you certainly had your big awakening (to the wider reality) package!
Welcome to the forum. Welcome to your 'new' reality. It's been quite a ride it seems.

Just some thoughts and comments on some of your questions or selected parts:

I'd been diagnosed with food allergies. This is where things appear, to me, to go crazy. It was a fight getting the doctor to admit there was anything even wrong with me.
In my view a more naturpathic oriented doctor or entire naturopath could have helped you better, they deal a lot with allergies, also healing by nutrition. But you did it yourself with changing your diet as I can see. Congrats, well done. And yes, this might have helped to bring about other changes and events, including the 'spiritual' ones. At least many people believe this, also from their experiences.

The breathing exercises caused a complete drop in pressure in my mind and body. All the negative thoughts and anger started to subside. All the tension ebbed away.
Yes, breathing is key for many relaxation and meditation practices. A great part of Yoga is also dedicated to this. The most important thing (imv) is to learn to deep-belly-breathe in general. It improves well-being almost instantly.

Something in my mind said "let it go".
I relaxed and lowered my bum back to the bed. The voice came again and said "now put the two together".
Something inside me seemed to link my brain to the base of my spine.
An explosion went off in my mind, chemicals rushing out of my brain, coursing through my body from top to bottom, then it felt like they were bouncing back, travelling back up my body in waves.
I felt like I was melting through the bed as my body relaxed to extremes I never imagined possible.
I started seeing white lights and kind of jumped, a little shocked at what was happening. I tried to concentrate on these lights but from what I've read I maybe should have just let them go on. I lost all the sensations and the lights stopped. I couldn't get back to it again.
 
From this (esp. what I marked in bold) I have not doubt you had a Kundalini energy experience. It is very typical. It is also called 'the snake' and it moves up and down the spine or torso with quite some violence, but usually painless. I had this when I induced my first OBE experiences  and funnily was mistaking it for a long time after that as the more gentle 'vibrations' which you can feel - until I found out what it really was.

I recommend to you this thread where I describe it in detail. You may find that some of it might match your energetic experience. Read it entirely please because it all contains some good information and shows you that you are definitely not alone here!

Here's the link to this older thread:

http://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome_to_out_of_body_experiences/etheric_projection_and_kundalini_symptoms-t37565.0.html

Face after face after face. As fast as a click of the fingers, it changed to pictures of what looked like galaxies. Imagine seeing picture after picture, showing different galaxies just clicking over and over, different ones every time.
I think I must have fallen asleep because that is all I remember.
Could anyone tell me who these beings were? Why I was seeing them?
Or where these galaxies could be and why I would see them?

I had often visualisation of galaxies in the paralysis state or in the VOID/3D-Blackness - which is when you are projected in a field that is mostly dark and you can instantly go anywhere else or manifest things.

Imv, it might have been either one of these two:
1) chakras (esp. when colours are different) which are the bodies energy centers as many ancient and modern teachings about the energy body tell us (they have the wheel/galaxy form!)
or indeed
2) bigger galaxies of energies or maybe even outer space, who knows, a galaxy or vortex is a truly "universal" energy form and can manifest in different forms

Don't know exactly about the faces though. Could be a lot.

I seem to see "energy" in the sky. It sometimes looks static and sometimes appears to be following a pattern. Maybe brain waves possibly?
You might get accustomed to seeing "things" a lot - even more if you accept it for yourself. Many psychic people do. Seeing energy is one of it. I've seen it too. Flying little clouds in violet in my room after meditating, just to mention one example.

If someone is stood next to me looking miserable, with slumped shoulders, I feel depression.
If someone is stood bouncing about, with shoulders hunched up, I get anxiety.
If somebody around me is angry, I get angry.
Seems you're picking up easily on other people's energy. This happens to empaths, you seem to develop your psychic abilities also into this direction (also!).

It's like I've been raised to believe religions a sham. Spirituality is brain washing.
Magic is all an illusion.
Science proves all of these notions fantasy.
And now here I am writing this, questioning everything.
This is the path of awakening. Question everything is a good thing. Unfortunetely many so-called scientific people (esp. materialists) do not question their own belief. It's just dogma after all. Many of us here do not follow a specific religion. Spiritual practice is best done without any dogma. Of courese, everyone has to find their own way. Same for you.

Is there such a thing as a "guardian angel"?
Angels is always a controversial topic, even here, also due to religious connotations. But many of us experiencers 'experience' the communication with personal helpers in the Astral / non-physical or in clairvoyant communication (like mediums also do). I also used the Void for it. Most or many of us also call them guides here. Many believe they are really other souls who are there to guide us. Some others think they are a part of our Higher Self (soul). It could be a mixture of both.

And I've certainly wished for proof it happens.
I just never expected to get that proof!
It may or may not happen to others, but could it really be happening to me?
It's causing a great deal of confusion.
You've certainly had your proof. It lies in the experience! Not in today's science which is however slowly catching up, not yet mainstream but it will soon follow. The fringe does already.  wink

Then I feel like I have a quandary in deciding, is there a god?
Do I need to dedicate myself to a religion?
If so, which god is calling out to me?
Your Higher Self rather might be calling out to you. That's why I think you don't have to decide between any god or no-god at all. That is just the false dichotomy between atheism and theism that is hammered into our heads from birth on. It also gives us a wrong picture of what/who God may be. Make yourself free of dogma and just try to get everything which is good for you out of your experience! You do not have to "join" a religion now.
You can even still forget about religion or "God" (referring to the God image of institutional religion here). Most of us see a God as "Source" or the energetic / holographic whatever nature of reality of which we are a part of and not separate (wow.. I explained mysticism in one sentence ... haha ).

If anyone can recommend any sites and possible reading material, or offer information of any kind I would be in your debt.
Due to the 'energetic' nature of your experiences, Kundalini and all, I would definitely recommend to you also to look at this forum. It is Robert Bruce's site and he has a lot to say about energy work and Kundalini and stuff like that. You can also ask him questions on the forum (Ask RB section).

http://www.astraldynamics.com.au/forum.php

I also recommend to you his book "Astraldynamics". I also recommend to you Bill Buhlman's, Kurt Leland's and Robert Monroe's books. Most are on OBE but also touch on the wider reality.

For a more modern take regarding a theoretical background (even a bit scientific) I recommend Tom Campbell. Do not read his book because of his lengthy writing, but watch his videos online, that will do. Here's a link to one site which has some YT-vids on him:

http://www.matrixwissen.de/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=620:thomas-campbell-realitaet-physik-und-metaphysik&catid=156:answers-by-tom-campbell&Itemid=144&lang=en

If you like the older vintage stuff more I would recommend some of the Theosophical writings on occult practices. They also delve into Buddhist concepts and cosmologies a little.
« Last Edit: June 23, 2015, 19:06:08 by Volgerle » Logged

Rossco
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« Reply #3 on: June 23, 2015, 19:11:04 »

Hi xanthe
I just realised I should have posted an introduction. My apologies and thanks for the welcome.

Thank you for taking the time you did.
You're completely right in that my life has been erratic. And from what I've read of late, created entirely by me. Which in itself is pretty shocking when you think.
But where I was hoping this would bring some kind of peace to my life, there just seems to be unlimited questions. With unlimited subsets.
Which is just adding fuel to the fire and preventing me from moving on in any aspect of my life.

And I think I know what you mean about living in the moment. I can get lost in thought. But I am learning to silence.
As I say though, one question leads to another, to another and so on. The madness never seems to end!
But in terms of emotions, I've just happened across eft and have been doing some amazing work with tapping.
I can't believe it's so easy and effective.

I feel nothing but eager anticipation in learning what all of this is about, yet every attempt results in deep, unpleasant sleep followed by unrest.
What is stopping me from letting go is what I can't find.
I need a model to work off that I can understand. Maybe comprehend might be a better word?
But any information that has actually provided any results for me comes thin and scarcely.
And all my local bookshops don't seem to carry much in mind, body, soul anymore.
And there just seems to be no start or end on the Internet.

Anyway I ramble again!!
As I say thanks for taking the time and I hope you get to finish it. Any more opinions appreciated.
I carry on my search!

Rossco.

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« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2015, 19:45:55 »

Hi xanthe
I just realised I should have posted an introduction. My apologies and thanks for the welcome.
No worries.  Smiley
Whenever you get around to it... or not.  It's all good.  

Quote
Thank you for taking the time you did.
You're completely right in that my life has been erratic. And from what I've read of late, created entirely by me. Which in itself is pretty shocking when you think.
But where I was hoping this would bring some kind of peace to my life, there just seems to be unlimited questions. With unlimited subsets.
Which is just adding fuel to the fire and preventing me from moving on in any aspect of my life.
See, this is kind of the misconception people have about awakening/enlightenment/etc...
They think that "if I only become awakened, my life will change"... and that simply isn't the case.
The only thing that brings about change in your own life is YOU.  You have to make the effort.

There's a saying:
Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.
After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water.

The only thing that change when you become awakened is your perspective.  You see the truth of everything.  You see and accept everything for exactly how it is.
The peace you want doesn't come with awakening or enlightenment... as you said, if you continue to fight against "what is", you'll only drive yourself insane.  Smiley

Relax.  Find your balance.  Allow everything to be as it is.  Don't fight against what life throws you.

Quote
And I think I know what you mean about living in the moment. I can get lost in thought. But I am learning to silence.
As I say though, one question leads to another, to another and so on. The madness never seems to end!
But in terms of emotions, I've just happened across eft and have been doing some amazing work with tapping.
I can't believe it's so easy and effective.

I feel nothing but eager anticipation in learning what all of this is about, yet every attempt results in deep, unpleasant sleep followed by unrest.
What is stopping me from letting go is what I can't find.
I need a model to work off that I can understand. Maybe comprehend might be a better word?
But any information that has actually provided any results for me comes thin and scarcely.
And all my local bookshops don't seem to carry much in mind, body, soul anymore.
And there just seems to be no start or end on the Internet.

Anyway I ramble again!!
As I say thanks for taking the time and I hope you get to finish it. Any more opinions appreciated.
I carry on my search!

Rossco.
It's kind of funny, because most people think that awakening/enlightenment is something you need to DO... something you need to actively search FOR.
When the truth of the matter is that you're already awakened and enlightened, you just need to stop looking for it and know that it's already there.  Smiley

Do a youtube search for "Adyashanti" and see if anything he says resonates.

You've definitely stepped onto the path of awakening though.  You're pointing in the right direction, it just sounds like you're getting a bit overwhelmed with what you're finding and you're not quite able to make much sense of it yet.  But don't worry, you will.  You're a lot stronger and more powerful than you think you are.  Smiley
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« Reply #4 on: June 23, 2015, 19:45:55 »



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« Reply #5 on: June 23, 2015, 23:18:18 »

You can get really overwhelmed when you open a bit to whats inside of you. What your seeing, feeling and hearing are things that you have generated yourself. As you can see there's quite a lot of junk there and it needs to be cleaned out. I would suggest disregarding the phenomenon for now and focus on concrete things like getting your physical life squared away.

 Focus on meditation and I would suggest using a single word mantra a positive singular concept and the word should end in ING according to Tom Campbell. Loving would be my suggestion. Focus should be on that and not on sensation until things get under control.

 If things get haywire in meditation then do physical things that are at least moderately strenuous but not so much that you hurt yourself. Focus entirely on the things that you are doing in the physical This will settle things down. When the sensations and such go away then return to meditation and go slow. If it cuts haywire again then go back to physical focus
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Rossco
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« Reply #6 on: June 23, 2015, 23:30:04 »

Hi volgerle
Hope your having a good day.
Thanks for your welcome and replying.

It's wild like a slip and slide for sure!
It's good to know others have also had some of these experiences.
Kundalini is something I had planned on looking into but it always gets pushed back along the list. I think I need to get into that!!
Thanks for the links on that, I'll take a look.
Never heard of empaths. I love reading so any new topic to take a look at I'm grateful for.
Thanks also for the book and Web references. Robert Bruce is someone I looked at a while ago and then accidently closed the page and lost it. So thanks for re - directing me there!

I hadn't considered the possibility of a higher self calling to me. Over a god I mean. I think I need to think more about that.

Lots to think about and some useful links.
Thanks for your input. If you come up with anymore feel free to add.

I need to go re-read and ponder for a bit. You've got me thinking!!

Thanks for the pointers!
Enjoy the rest of your day.

Rossco
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Rossco
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« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2015, 23:49:38 »

Hi again xanthe

I'm struggling to come up with replies to that one, because I did have the conception that this would bring me peace.
However the more I write and the more I'm thinking about the things your saying, the more I'm thinking that I should stop looking.

Where I am right now is, I'm thinking when this came to me I was actually developing some kind of inner freedom.
In fact I'd say I was happier than ever. Then this happened and it's like any sense of security I ever developed went out the window.
And you're completely right that I find that a little overwhelming.

Just reading what bluefirephoenix has wrote and it also sounds like good advice.
Maybe take a break and see what happens.....

In between I will check out adyashanti and see where I go.

Maybe try making a hobby from it. Stop taking it so seriously.
As always many thanks for you're time.

Rossco.
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Rossco
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« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2015, 00:06:08 »

Hi bluefirephoenix

Thanks for your opinion.
I am going to do just that. I have some materials to be studying.  Vorlgerle mentioned yoga. I take good care of myself these days and I've seen it mentioned in a few other places. I've always fancied giving it a go.

I'm always looking for ways to improve myself personally these days. This just threw a spanner in the works. In a lot of ways I feel like I'm 1 again. Back to the start of discovering everything. My entire purpose. Sometimes that sounds like so much fun then others so frustrating.
It frustrates me that this has clearly been in plain sight for so long, other people know about it and have for a long time, yet there's people like me still fumbling about in the dark, and I'm still in amongst the seldom few.

So thanks again for your words.
I have lots of material to read up on.
If you come up with anymore please add.

I will keep you posted if I make any progress.

Thanks
Rossco
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Xanth
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« Reply #9 on: June 24, 2015, 00:42:22 »

I'll give you one piece of advice... something that I learned along my own path regarding life/spirituality/consciousness.

Life is simply about living.  It's about interacting with other "consciousnesses" with as much Love as you can muster at the time.  Smiley

That's what I've learned so far.
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Nameless
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« Reply #10 on: July 26, 2016, 23:33:46 »

I want to thank the OP - Rossco for this post. Much of it resonates strongly with in my own experiences. I've discovered that the more I learn the less I know. I've always known that but with these events that knowing has grown exponentially.  smiley

I don't know if you are still around or will get this but there is one thing I have found that works to calm or completely stop all this mental weirdness. Go outside, close your eyes and look at the sun for a couple of minutes. You may have to look then look away a few seconds at the time. Keep your eyes closed, you don't want to burn your retinas. I have found this to be extremely grounding so that you can get on with your physical life in the here and now.

Again, thank you for sharing your amazing story.
..edit to correct spelling..
« Last Edit: July 26, 2016, 23:35:19 by Nameless » Logged

You may never have proof of your importance but you are more important than you think. There are always those who couldnít do without you. The rub is that you donít always know who- Robert Fulgham
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