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Author Topic: JustLetItGo-ism  (Read 1199 times)
Ybom
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« on: September 19, 2005, 05:01:41 »

JustLetItGo-nesis 1:1
A man existed, a bum no less. His name was Steve. This man was born of the Virgin Stevia, and of the almighty raccoon incarnate, Bob. This bum, although quite dirty and stinky, had come across many a soul who had killed members of his family without any reason whatsoever. Raped his daughter at 3, his fish at 2, and his beloved cat (by himself). He was so distressed by this accounting of his life, that he turned to the streets to see how much more torture he could endure.

1:2
Unfortunately, the street has been kind to him, although homeless, a scary wench had offered him a close side at her bed, and before he could turn away he noticed the many many cats in her hostle.

1:3
To this day, the man realized that even through weakness of body and uncleansedness of mind, he can find happiness even in the hairiest of places (hairball!)

2:1
And nobody (except the wench and her cats) loved the man it seemed, until a young strapping boy came a knocking at the door, asking for people to help clean up what Hurricane Flambina left in her wake. With a cat under each arm, to hand out in case anyone wanted a fluffy feline friend, he strode out on his way to change the town as they knew it.

2:2
And today, this man is the king of the world! The End!

JustLetItGo-dus 1:1
But it was not to be so for very long. The man and his lust for (insert p-word here) had finally got to the point of immorality. PDA was becoming a very hated acro by the man, and he kept hushing his underlings whenever they murmured it.

1:2
He was removed from office with nary a little purring kitten in hand, due to his indecent actions. Humanity had gotten the better of him, and so he suffered a mighty blow of power and humbleness. Yet this was only a small misguidance in his instincts, it had brought him down with a mighty blow unforseen even a few minutes a go. Some may call this man naive, others may call him innocent. You be the judge.

JustLetItGo-icus 1:1
His tailbone still smarting from the tossing, he realized that he needed to change, so he got his bearings, and noticed that there was a Gas Station / Monistary next door, and he decided to seek their help.

1:2
The monistary immediately took him in, realizing at a moment who he was, and then realizing they had a chance to make things right in this man's life, through perceverance and proper pumping (ack more p-words). Yes, this man would learn how to operate at the lowest level of human existance; a lowly "pump technician" until they felt he had suffered enough light headedness from the gas fumes.

1:3
The man immediately beamed a smile, knowing he could change for the better if he put his mind to it and worked it in that he could do a great service to the SUVs and the Hybrids of the mighty interstate system. Yes he was happy.

1:4
And so it was, many many days (I mean years, or do I?) later, he had felt a mighty change in him, and felt like he had been given a second chance at life by some higher power.

2:1
Suddenly, a puddle of freshly spilled diesel caught fire and seemed to speak to him.
"Steve, my child. You must learn to accept yourself and realize that you desperately need to take you and the finest the monistary can offer and travel the vast journey to the land of Tacos and Bells! Hurry, for this cannot wait!"
A rumble then sounded triumphantly in his stomach, and he realized what he must then do.

2:2
He picked his followers, one by one, until he realized that there were too many and then chose again. The group of 3, then 2 (the wench and himself), briefly stopped by her place for some quick erm (NC-17) and progressed to the land of Tacos and Bells.

2:3
There they feasted, and a toast to the burning puddle of refined dinosaur poop (lead free), and headed back to the monistary, changed, yet still the same old couple, never to part.

JustLetItGo-vations 1:1
The moral of this essay is that some people work better with humor and humanity folded in to their idea of faith. The facts I believe are that Steve and all of his experiences can be considered stupid and dull, but how many of us lead exciting lives? How many of us are carrying around unnecessary burdens of hatred and guilt over their peers and actions they experienced so many years ago to really care about anymore? How many of you think it's fruitful to carry that gnarly pit in your stomach when you think of a lost flame due to cheating, or a job you quit prematurely? This is what christianity breeds, in today's society, because the true ideals of the faith are lost in trying to convert it to ideals of the media. Who said that a faith needs to clique with what is put in theatres and on TV, and even what's in the papers? My current preachers do, or pastors (same difference to me really).

1:2
I hope this has made a few of you feel better about the products of this forum, and a few very angry that I have used the Bible in vain. I did this because I need to speak to those willing to change, not those who are not. I am guilt free because I did as Jesus did and forgave myself. I will not hit another out of hatred, and I will not spite another for what they did to me yesterday. I may defend myself, and be prepared when I do, because I will have my soul on my side, knowing that whatever I do, I will feel at home on Earth, along side those who hate me dearly. I love you all, because I care enough about every single one of you to promote a better society as much as I can. Thank you for your time, and I hope this minor reflection of my inner satirist has made sense to at least one of you.

1:3
Just let it go. This is the final solution for the immediate future for mankind.
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