tides2dust

[Suziefish]

thank-you
my youngest daughter has been here 44 years today

yes, we are all connected
even when we are so far away

here, or where we travel to..

when time slows
NOW is closer : )

[tides2dust]

i had 3-4 successful OBE's last night/this morning.

I did not record right away, by the end I was so tired I dreamt I was eating food to sustain my energy levels.

It was raining. The first OBE I almost missed the chance by resisting that overcoming sensation(again). I get over that instinct to fight much faster now. I feel this wavy lullaby sensation and I start rocking my arms out from my body. I decide to stand up, success. I decide not to walk but to float- even better.

I decide I'm going to phase through my door, and it all works just fine. I glide down my stairs and I ride the ceiling. I project out to my backyard.

It's raining, but I'm not getting wet. And even though it's night time it feels like the sun is out. It's kind of bright out here! And the colors are so beautiful. I go high up into the sky and the rain almost appears more like snow. I go to the top of my tree and start playing with the leaves. I'm laughing and feel so much joy shaking the leaves of my tree. The green is so much more vivid, it feels like everything here is alive.

RESET

Ok, I wake up. I think I have to go to the restroom... But I wasn't done with my OBE so I skip the restroom and try again to project. Success...

I go to the backyard, it's not as sunny as it was in the first projection. And there's no rainy snow anymore either. It's nighttime and I'm standing in the backyard and get the idea to use the CE5 contact method while in the astral. Right away I am feeling assistance. A part of me is almost nervous for how much more powerful I am feeling and witnessing the experience. I ask the guides to help me broadcast the milky way galaxy in my minds eye. I see it in ways I've never seen it before. I instantly channel it down into our universe, to our planet, to my continent, and into my backyard.

I feel as if there are 3 or 4 beings with me now.

Suddenly the white dalmatian puppy I saw in the initial attempt is here with me by my side. I am a bit perplexed why it still chose the dalmatian form. I am asking if it is because I am not ready to see this being in its true form. At this point in the experience everything has become extremely heavy. Like it's difficult to be in this state.
In fact the dalmatian puppy only appears in my peripherals to my right side and kind of like a blur image. Like there's some wall between us. And I wasn't asking directly but I was asking telepathically, almost like a conversation with my self. The puppy is trying to push forward and I am trying to accept it more and more into my field. I intuit that this is as good as it's going to get for now, that I am not ready to see the true form. I believe this being relays this to me before I wake up again. I am somewhat contesting with these beings who happen to be observing that I AM ready and want to see, but a part of me deep down knows that's not true.

I'm up again, listening to the thunder outside.

I realize I once again have the opportunity to project. I feel the wavy sensations, and behind closed eyes I pull my arms out from my arms. I start to ask why I rely on this method so much. Suddenly I am in my room and realize there's an old time radio broadcasting that doesn't belong. There's also a light on a desk that doesn't belong. To much noise I think. And another part of me tries to remind my self I am out of body and something is still attempting to communicate with me. But I think here I start losing lucidity, and I go and turn off the radio and descend into more of a dream like state.

I do wake up and have one final OBE but was so exhausted that I slipped right into a dream about walking down some highway that is under construction in a line with others until I get to my final resting spot with a group of people and am eating food. I dream of family and friends while in this state and think in some instances I had tried showing them the OBE and contact initiatives happening in my backyard, I tried relaying to them what had happened. But it falls on deaf ears and instead a dream state takes over.

I wake up once more to use the restroom and record now what feels like a few hours later.

[Suziefish]

THX
you are helping me learn navigation here

love your writing, your creations, your work.

oooo la la ((smile :

[LightBeam]

It was raining. The first OBE I almost missed the chance by resisting that overcoming sensation(again). I get over that instinct to fight much faster now. I feel this wavy lullaby sensation and I start rocking my arms out from my body. I decide to stand up, success. I decide not to walk but to float- even better.

That's exactly what I observe every time I experience rain or snow in the astral. Not wet, not cold, but extremely pleasant feeling against my skin. And I've had APs underwater where I found I wont suffocate, there is no need of breathing lol. But while being underwater, the water felt like some pleasant substance, no resistance, just very pleasant surrounding my body.

[tides2dust]

This morning I had a bout of sleep paralysis. As the rising sensation occurred I started hearing alien like chatter. "Zingy" is the only way I can describe the pitch in their voices. Because everything was so lifelike I interjected a very firm, "hello!" Except- by doing so the chatter came to a halt and the experience ended.

Perhaps I'm not to impose myself in this experience but to observe?

What followed was also very interesting. I had a very long dream. And by long I mean- the passing of time occurred in the few hours I had slept. Could it have been years? I don't know. But I was aboard a spaceship and traveled across three solar systems.

[tides2dust]

I haven't updated my journal in a while because my ability to recall seems diminished. My priorities are not dreams or AP's and I see me shaking things off sooner when I wake up in order to squeeze in the morning routine and prepare for work.

However, there are real moments of lucidity and real "experiences" that are meant to wake me up from "the dream." That's what I wanted to comment on tonight. A developing theme someone helped me realize in another journal of mine.

Like in the dream world, I am experiencing surreal oddities that make one stop and pause. This has followed me for a long time now. I am talking about things outside my control that are meant to invoke a type of lucidity. Sometimes these "experiences" directly interact with my unspoken world. Something no one outside my self could possibly know. I call that the Living Spirit. A guiding Intelligence. God. 

A good example I can give you... When I discovered the peacock angel- the day I made the connection as to "WHO" or "WHAT" was propelling my journey and gave me those three amazing dreams from 2008... Mind you, I discovered the Peacock Angel 10 years later. But when I did- I was driving towards work, and a green breasted peacock was made manifest on the road in front of me. I had to bring my car to a sudden halt so as not to run it over. And then, when I got to work- there were pink flower petals scattered about the entry way. Never again did I see those flowers.
No one at the time knew I had made the discovery of the Peacock Angel-
This was something outside of my control acknowledging my inner world. I may have shared this account somewhere in this journal.

https://youtu.be/KQE29az48gM?si=FN9qCsABnGR2a4Y1

The 1111 phenomenon is what first started as my, "dream awakening." Waking up from the dream we call Life. It's like those moments in a dream that are meant to jar us from routine- from going along to get along. New and amazing realities still to discover, limits to test and push...

1111 is meant to be like that. And over years I developed a personal prompt- the number 14. Now, I am of the belief all is One. Still, I am not realized all is One. I am dense, living on this planet, with a myriad of beings who are uniquely their own. As it is meant to be. But what I am getting towards. Looking even at my last few entries above this. This is a type of partnership.

Alongside these moments meant to invoke lucidity there is the strong desire to establish contact. Like going through Dr. Greers CE5 contact app again.

I just recently moved in to a new apartment. I moved in shortly after the neighbor across from me. And then, I met the neighbor under her- and then I met the neighbor under me. We all moved in around the same time. Here's what's odd. Two of my neighbors drive the exact same black Nissan SUV. I drive a lighter blue Subaru Impreza and, someone who lives next to me drives the exact same blue Subaru Impreza. We are the only unique blue Subaru's in the complex. What's stranger is, sometimes these cars are all parked side by side. The two black cars and the two blue cars. All of this is outside our control, I mean- I don't even really know my neighbors. But this oddity was meant to invoke some type of lucidity. That's what I mean by still having activity happen. It might as well be a type of astral projection. There has to be something happening on another dimension for these kind of experiences to occur.

Lastly... Though I can not recall my dreams- a couple nights ago I was suddenly propped up. It was instantaneous and it felt like another presence was with me and had just left. I returned to my body, definitely I recall the feeling of returning to my body. Though I could not recall where I was or what took place- I don't feel like I was alone. I mean, when I woke up- I was, I could feel the difference between being in the room by my self and being in the room and feeling the presence of something or someone else. Again, it was like they decided to leave when I returned to my body.

I really don't believe it's just me. I feel like the veil for contact with ET's or beings of higher intelligence from unseen realms is thinning at this very moment. It doesn't help that I am surrounded by 5G towers. But something has not given up on me, even when I sometimes wonder astray and feel lonely or without direction.

I had a sudden bout of depression not to long ago that I could not explain. But I prayed for help, and help was given. The next morning I had so much energy it was unreal. And things were coming together, and I found myself saying how grateful I was for all my conflicting emotions, my flaws and my not knowing. That's really mind blowing to think something between wake and sleep responded to my plea for healing. Of course I am steering this ship, but when things outside my control slide in my awareness as a means to wake me up... I am reminded to try and make contact more tangible. And I think we're getting there...

The reality of this relationship brings me to tears, I think of how much Love is coming from these Beings who show us they have been with us even in our darkest and most confused moments. How little do I know... And how much I desire to bring about the new reality and live in a realized partnership.

[Tak]

Hi Tides, thanks for sharing! I always enjoy reading your posts, don't worry if you don't update all the time, the important thing is to do so when you really want to share from the heart. 

You have a very good level and have been practicing AP for many years, I think that perhaps you are having trouble remembering your dreams, because you are too tired. Try to rest well and have a healthy diet. Something that works very well is every night before going to sleep, look at your third eye with your eyes closed and repeat the intention "tonight I will remember all my dreams and they will be very vivid" or whatever you like, until you feel It's enough. Maybe you already knew this. Try it and see what happens! 

I always really liked your Peacock Angel initiation and all the physical manifestations about it. Sometimes it seems like there is a big gap between the physical and the spiritual, but that is not the case, just another illusion. One just have to be open and attentive to these messages. Our great spiritual adventure is happening now, at this very moment!

One of the reasons that led me to respond to you today is because I felt identified with what you said about being visited by beings. I was just thinking a lot about all this because the same thing was happening to me, but the month before. And it makes me think that big things are happening globally.

I consider myself a happy and stable person, but I have anxiety problems from time to time, meditation and breathing sessions during the day are essential for me. However, I have not always won the battle against anxiety and last month I had a pretty bad one. After that, the following days, for about 4/5 days in a row, at some point in the night, I was being visited by a non-physical teacher, who gave me some lessons and talked a lot with me about this life. I remember practically nothing about these lessons, because they were more on a subconscious level. I didn't feel like I was "in a dream" but rather in a trance state, because I was still in my bed, but looking at the black void while an invisible teacher spoke to me mentally, feeling as if he was speaking to me behind the back of my head. I was so happy to receive these lessons! The one who was receiving the lesson was another part of me, only the last few seconds my human conscious mind, so to speak, took place and that's why I was able to realize what was going on and then it was over. I was only allowed to remember a little about the last class. Sometimes I am not in the black void, and images could be projected, being more interactive.

E.g. I was shown a beautiful labyrinth of carved wood, and inside, little metal balls going from one place to another. The labyrinth was human life, and the balls were people, lost and sad, unable to find the way. My life was also represented there. The teacher told me to find the exit, and since I couldn't do it, I made my ball jump over the edge of the labyrinth to have a broader perspective and find the way. He told me that was great resolution, to broaden my perspective and I would find what I need. And that was all. The class was much longer and more complex than that, it's just what I was allowed to remember. 

Just last night I was thinking about how happy this fact makes me, to know that we are not alone, that there are so many beings around us watching over and anxious for our development, that is very exciting! Sometimes I feel like they have more faith in us than we do ourselves. Living and being part of all this is a true gift. I now know that we all receive these lessons or help during the night while we sleep, even if we are not always allowed to remember. It makes me feel cared for, accompanied and lots of strength to face each day. 
In my particular case, I don't relate this to extraterrestrials, I simply call them my teachers/helpers/doctors/friends... but I don't think too much about where they may come from. However, they have taken me to crafts, and I thought, what do crafts have to do with all this? Well, I guess sometimes it's better not overthinking and stay with what matters, knowing that we are not alone.

Thank you Tides for sharing this personal experience, I'm glad you feel better now and that you definitely know that you are not alone, because you are not, no one is! Come on! I am in another part of the planet experiencing something similar to you, isn't that great? And that is why I also believe that right now there is a lot of activity, a lot of work in awakening human awareness, on behalf of these beings, whoever they are, for those who want to listen and open hearted to receive a message. Thanks for that! 

Hugs and congratulations on the new apartment

[tides2dust]

Thanks Tak. I really like your experience. The master numbers are making themselves known as we interact. I just shared one of Casey's recent videos and I was coming to similar conclusion... "Broadening our Horizon"

Your words really touched me. I have nothing more to say, I am just in deep appreciation for you and for the time we find ourselves in.

<3

Ok...  I guess I have one thing to say. It is really interesting how precise these beings can interact with us in the 3D world. Like using numbers to prompt us... To show us as a way guide that something happening in this moment is correct or True. What is time to a Being that can acknowledge your own unfoldment at the right place at the right time?

That's where all this Love for it all comes from.

[tides2dust]

Not much to report-

Well, that's not true.

I can share this,

Yesterday it felt like a portal opened in my brain, and my mind was blanketing all the empty space around me. Like I could feel the space between me and my friend. Like I could touch it. It was a tangible sensation.

I woke up at 3AM to talk about these experiences on the 1111 forum. The communication with an unseen living intelligence has been so strong. And that intelligence is able to use events outside my control, to align with my internal reality. The most recent example I can give is- yesterday I decided to talk about God and consciousness as a singularity among co-workers. I told them we're more connected to each other than we realize. It was a riveting conversation. My co-worker suddenly chimed in with, "I'm not afraid of death- but I'm not ready to die." I told her I was afraid to die, and my other co-worker/friend started talking about Life after Death.

It was during this conversation the lyrics to a song playing in the background suddenly grabbed my attention. "Do you want to die?"

This is the song: https://youtu.be/EkwD5rQ-_d4?si=3iUNPoSjiCr4v4c3

Just look at some of these lyrics... I am getting the impression this Being is really speaking to me/US. And the feeling I got later was we're all waking up to this connection in our unique ways and in greater numbers.

"Be my angel
Be my angel
Do you wanna die?

....I want you for mine
My lover, be my lover, yeah...

Don't be afraid
I didn't mean to scare you

So help me, Jesus

Make up your mind

I promise you
I will treat you well
My sweet angel
So help me, Jesus"

I was so excited, the very thing I had decided to talk about with my friends and co-workers was happening in real time to all of us. That is, a living unseen intelligence was using something outside our physical control to acknowledge it self to us. It was after this I felt a portal in my mind open. I wonder if my pupils were dilated too. Lol...

Well. I didn't get much sleep last night as I started feeling really inspired by all this communication and recounting the huge amount of examples in the recent days. I discovered so many things.

But I came here to record my hypnagogic experience from earlier this morning. Last thing I'll say about the above... I moved into a new apartment complex. Only after moving in, months later- did I make a discovery. I found my initials engraved in cement by the unit I ended up moving into.

My thought was- maybe the person who lived before me had the same initials? Still... What are the chances? You don't have to answer that. I'm starting to believe there is no such thing as coincidence. And what is reality for this being that can access our memories, our awareness, our feelings and our thoughts and use something supposedly separate and outside our "selves" to communicate? Literally move or arrange physical matter to address the Spiritual intelligence. It can communicate in such a precise manner, it can even use numbers to prove itself to you. Not just that, it can use your special numbers at the same time some visual outside your self aligns with some visual or idea you had been thinking/talking about earlier in the day or even in that very moment.

It's like when I brought up the peacock angel to a friend- right at that moment a vehicle pulled up in front of us with a picture of the peacock on its front license plate. This can even happen at the same time the numbers on a clock are all the same. Like 1111. 11:11
A mirror- the "inside" talking with the "outside." The "outside" talking with the "inside." Symbols, emotions, memories, PRESENT... It is really, really mind blowing... And clearly, this intelligence is able to manipulate reality as we know it- meaning, potentially, it is free from the chains of linear time. Our thoughts are somehow accessible beyond the time space as we experience it while in the 3D earth host body. What is physical reality to an intelligence able to use, bend or influence that material/physical to communicate with the spiritual?

The other thought I had, about us all waking up to this partnership in greater numbers... Is that this is the realization of the marriage between Spirit and Matter. 


Alright. So, this mornings hypnagogic experience...
As I have said I moved into a new living situation.

The experience was short lived. But I thought I should record it here. I woke up at 1AM to use the restroom. As I was falling back asleep- I don't remember how I got there, but I was in the same place one goes during a hypnagogic experience and near OBE. I was having visuals, things I was thinking on as I was falling asleep were carried over. But I was out of my body and in my apartment complex. I was dragging my body on the ground- in a semi-aroused state because I was thinking of this girl just before falling asleep. I realized I was in my apartment. I saw myself adjusting the thermostat on the wall. Everything was in its correct place. Except... I went towards the windows where I meditate and when I looked out I noticed the outside was not the same. It was more like a courtyard from a place I lived in over a decade ago. I thought that was strange. Everything else was so real, as if I was really out of body in my current apartment unit. The energy associated with the OBE and hypnagogia made me feel it was a credible experience. But seeing the courtyard out of place woke me up.

I woke up to do exactly what I saw myself doing in the OBE. I went and adjusted the thermostat- The time was just after 2AM. So the experience was roughly an hour.

Anyways. That's where I'm at for now.

<3 Love & Light. I am feeling rough for a lack of sleep. But my clarity will come back soon, hopefully I was able to articulate the experiences well enough.

Kind regards <3

[tides2dust]

I haven't had an OBE in the way that I'm accustomed to in a while-
But. I do want to update the journal by sharing some type of lucidity from last nights dreams.

The last few nights I've been asking before bed:
"Where am I when I'm dreaming?"

Last night/this morning I actually recognized the self as an overseer/observer and at the same time, the self as an active participant in the dream. At one point, the self actively participating in the dream looked to the self existing as unseen awareness for advice.

The dream recall isn't anything impressive- and another unique thing I experienced last night were the sensations behind my dream self's powers. In the dream I was able to shift from that of a normal size human to a giant in motion phasing through material the normal sized self would otherwise interact with.

I'll share the log:

i ask, going to bed- "where am i when i dream?" while no answers come i noticed something interesting. i have both a dream self and an observational self- and i am becoming more aware of the observational self.

i remember being called a "diablo," one of many.
i had powers, but i was just learning them.
on the highway, i somehow enter a moving vehicle
i feel like a giant moving on the highway(phasing through matter) before going back to normal size
i am now in the back of this van with friends, they also have powers
they're asking me to teleport to my next location
i'm aware i can't teleport but i conceal this fact- i seem to be aware from a deeper, observational state that i am lying. that i can't teleport.
they wonder why i haven't left yet- i somehow remove myself from the back of the van- transforming into this giant encompassing a larger part of the highway and then reverting back to normal appearing in my mothers car without injury.

i also remember a scene where brian wants to buy my tv off of me for cheap, once again i remember from some observational self that i am no longer in communication with brian and don't have to humor this petty proposition. this changes the course of my dream selfs actions.

wake up-

Casey channeled a being for me in the crystal named Rohar. Rohar might be a giant, I may also share some connection to the fallen angel lore. I say this because Giants and Fallen Angels seem to be a thing. Anyways- Rohar has this beautiful display of light around his crown chakra... Here's a picture,


I believe Rohar has influenced my ability to interpret reality from the non-ordinary perspective. Like understanding everything as light waves, vibration/communication, energy. Seeing what we think outside ourself talk to what we think nobody else hears.

There are some other helpers here too. Definitely. But this ability to expand like in ant-man except be more of a phantom able to phase through matter made me think of Rohar from another dimension.

I did have a dream once of meeting different versions of the self and 14 my friend and Spirit guide appeared in that same dream. He was teleporting and I asked him how he did that... He told me he didn't know, he just could.

Also, the initiation dreams by the peacock angel with his aids back in 2008 tried teaching me the instantaneous nature of thought and teleportation. So maybe teleportation is a skill that might be developed in the dream world. For now, my movement from last nights dream was more along the lines of shifting- relocating the awareness with selves from various dimensions to and fro. It may give the illusion of teleportation but it was not.

It felt cool though. 

[tides2dust]

I woke up around 3:30AM to use the restroom, I couldn't recall my dreams and I was having a hard time go back to sleep. I decided to lay on my back and really slow my breathing down. I usually sleep on my side.

I started hearing tonal sounds. But not just the usual tones, new ones too. I recognized it as an opportunity for an OBE. I did not linger too long in the observer frame of mind during the zeroing in/toning recognition. Instead I raised my arms up and out of my body. Success! From here I told my self I could get up if I wanted. It was really difficult to look to my left. I also felt like someone else could be with me, but I saw no one. So instead of forcing my self in that direction I stood up. Wow, it happened so quickly this time. And with so much more clarity. Not only this but I realize I am in the correct room this time and everything is as it should be. The thought of phasing through my door crosses my mind, but for whatever reason I am not tempted to leave my room. Instead I am enjoying this sensation that I am floating off the ground. I put my hands through the ceiling realizing I can still phase through matter. I slowly turn my body and float around- I try to see my body laying on bed but I don't see my body at all. I just see the bed, and the sheets all messed up.

I think here I start to descend into a dream. It's curious to me that I don't see my physical body back in bed. Somewhere here things reset and I find myself back in my bed and attempting to project again. I manage to but the clarity isn't as strong.

Now I feel as if I'm in a dream like state and I notice a bright green parrot to my right. He is on the other side of a window. Its head is tilted and he is definitely just staring at me with curiosity, he is close up against the window. He is tiny, but his staring at me feels larger than life. Everything feels more real than reality. And as I stare back I notice the parrot is gradually morphing into an even larger and rounder bird whose colors are changing. There are different shades of red, white and blue coming off this bird as it grows. The colors become solid and very vibrant, and his feathers are puffed out. 

I believe I fall into a regular dream after this and for whatever reason I can't recall it either.

[tides2dust]

It dawned on me that the parrot represents communication.

I also recognize that I've been learning to communicate in a tenfold manner. I am training a coworker at work, which requires patience and the ability to define common words where pre-existing definitions of said words may not coalesce with the way we use them at the workplace. There is a refinement process happening here.

Similarly, I am learning how to communicate with others- my parents, coworkers, friends. My being interacting with the world around me/within me.

Idea's with form, definitions and words have been percolating in my subconscious mind as a type of energy work- work being executed with a loving and guiding intelligence from a non-physical plane. Perhaps that is the presence I recognized in the spontaneous OBE journaled above.

On top of that, I have been learning to recognize different observable colors that would be accredited to sixth sense and phantom sightings. I have also dabbled in the realm of micro-psychokinesis. And it appears I am sharing these discoveries with people in my environment, whether from other spiritual forums or even in my immediate reality. It is others who are coming forward and bringing their experiences into the collective as we learn and discover together more of what can only be graded as communication.

Looking back further to previous logs, I see this desire to communicate with Spirit and learn more has been ever-budding. So... This parrot in my vision is slowly morphing, its colors becoming more vibrant... And I believe it is an immediate reflection of all the work I am doing while incarnate here- existing and dancing with Source. Folly and all. 

[tides2dust]

Not a traditional OBE but a dream that felt more than a dream. I've never had God announced by angels like this or have heard the title until I dreamt it- I thought this might be a message I need to relay to someone someday. Or maybe it is a message for me. I am a man, but in the dream I feel like I am the woman-

I have a dream as point consciousness and am mostly looking through the eyes of a woman. I see a trying relationship with her and this man who I can't really identify.
But one day, she is with her Brother who is there to bear witness. I believe she is listening to something like a cassette player - I am now residing within her frame of reference when suddenly
ANGELS announce, "God of Elijah" Their voices are descending like a glorious chorus and a sound of trumpets- I've never heard OR FELT anything like it, like they were descending into my SPINE- and I've never heard god announced as God of Elijah before.
She/we and the Brother are listening intently- God tells her/us she/I will be pregnant and have a child "not before 31 weeks and not after 33 weeks" and that this might concern people but the child will be healthy.

I have to play this message back over and over again, until I/she weeps- we cry. I feel the tears of pain and joy simultaneously- the Brother understands what just happened is real and is in complete shock.

Later- I am at the hospital where she is giving birth in a small room. I am continually trying to impress upon her and everyone- But mostly her, something about the placenta. I'm not sure if that's the right word but I am encouraging her, and it is a concern of hers- and the two female nurses who helped give birth are willing to oblige her. What ends up happening is they do not cut the umbilical cord right away and let this red sac fluid rest on her body. The nurses also ask if we are to give the baby her shots and I make sure that does not happen. They are ok with it- Again, I am kind of witnessing in the air as a type of influence... But the nurses end up asking in a way that it is multiple choice-
"Should we give her her shots now or are you wanting to come a later day?" Knowing full well we are not giving her any shots.

A visiting woman who looks like someone I know pops her head into the room where the woman just had the baby. She asks the nurse if that's the placenta? The nurse says yes, the woman who gave birth has this placenta sac thing wrapped around/resting on this very tiny child says something like, "I'm keeping her warm. she was cold" And the nurse just smiles and wipes the blood off the womans forehead with a ball cotton.

The last scene I remember is a black female puppy dog joyfully pouncing and rolling around our feet- the husband is present, and the woman/me feeling a complete sense of joy. "My baby" is born. I feel a ownership both for the black dog and the child. It is a very special feeling.

Wake up...

[tides2dust]

I've just discovered God of Elijah shares a connection with Al-Khadir.
Al-Khadir is the man in the wooden boat who launched me into my awakening in 2008.
It turns out both may be related to the Peacock Angel.
And in some traditions, they share a common destiny. 

[Tak]

Hi Tides, I love it when all of you share stories like this. I think it's likely that you momentarily merged with one of your past or simultaneous lives. I've been reading a book by Kurt Leland called Multidimensional Human, which explores our non-physical senses and how they evolve through our energy bodies. Leland describes a concept called "permeation" - a relational sense that allows us to temporarily merge with another being, experiencing their thoughts, feelings, and essence without losing our individuality in the process. This lets us see the world from their unique perspective, gaining a complete understanding unfiltered by our own biases. It also enables seamless information exchange and invisible assistance, as you demonstrated by influencing others' thoughts. I think this sense is connected to higher states of consciousness, like the causal body, expanding our perception beyond individual self-awareness limits. According to Leland, practicing empathy with all life is a powerful way to develop this sense, both physically and non-physically.

One thing I loved about what the book teaches is that these senses don't necessarily need to be developed through AP practice, but rather through physical life - which is actually the most recommended way (there's plenty of work to be done here!). Living a life of self-awareness, gratitude, and remembering (as you often do) that everything is part of a larger, divine, living consciousness that surrounds us all and which we're a part of, truly awakens wonderful things within us, becoming a key to accessing higher dimensions. It sounds simple, but it's true. You're doing an amazing job! What's the point of practicing AP extensively if our mindset and attitude towards life remain limited? The result: limited experiences. Since everything we experience seems to reflect ourselves somehow. 

These permeation/fusion experiences are intense and require courage! About 15 years ago, I had some experiences that served as examples. One was seeing through the eyes of a man who was a warrior in the midst of battle! It was me, yet it wasn't me. When I drew my sword to strike down enemies, I thought I'd faint, since I'm not a violent person and averse to bloodshed, but experiencing it from the warrior's perspective, I felt the rage and adrenaline, strength and valor, love for my family and friends I was defending, seeking justice. No one could stand against me; I was enormous and well-prepared, fearlessly fighting. Those scenes were crude, reflecting the violent times and cultural norms of that era. I emerged victorious, even claiming a beautiful white horse that I rode to the coast. Not sure I'd want to relive that! But it served as an example to understand this inherent capacity within us. Why not merge with a beautiful tree in the forest next time? 

Thanks, Tides!

[tides2dust]

Thank you Tak, you just reminded me of a dream I've had with my Dad- we were in armor and fighting our enemies. I understand the sensations you're describing.

Maybe I was gifted this little insight because I was spending my day saving june beetles from drowning in my pool.  Watching them dry themselves off and take off towards the sun was the slowed-down state I really enjoyed being in.

I will consider what you're saying. I think it was a message for me to relay. Or a message for my self if I have a child.

I really love this book that you're reading- maybe this explains how God communicates as omnipresence to those of us so sense-identified with the host bodies we find ourselves anchored in. Because omnipresence, IS. Being, IS. But are we always in tune with Being? Are we always present? The Ego(to me) is equally cherished and respected in this journey.

You also reminded me of another experience... Maybe my first recorded permeation. Except this was a girl who merged astral bodies with me- Someone I think might be my future daughter.

I believe I shared it here in this journal, but I'm going to share it again because of the concepts we're discussing.

Before I do I want to share some wild prompts that have come about since digging into this God of Elijah dream. A friend I hadn't talked to in ages called me on the phone and we ended up having a real fellowship about the wonders of God. The thing he felt compelled to share with me, "Seek and you will find."

On my way into work today I saw a license plate- "CMORE" SEE MORE... I saw it at 9:22AM central standard. I took this as a sign, and was instantly reminded of what my friend(who I hadn't spoken to in years until last night) said.

Today at work a fairly new customer came in. She was a young pregnant woman. I discovered her husband was the son of a pastor. I told her I didn't think the message was for her... But I shared it anyways... "Not before 31 weeks not after 33." The child would be healthy. Go for a natural birth, no shots if you can help it. I specifically mentioned the importance of the placenta.

She told me she was just researching that the night before- my rationale is... If God did send me a message- I wish to be a faithful in serving the one I worship and adore... And so the woman thanked me and seemed really inspired. I told her either way not to be concerned, she is going to be a great Mother and the child will be healthy. Oh yeah, if I didn't mention- the baby in my dream was a girl- and the woman I met today is having a girl.

"CMORE" See more- to me, means- I need to recognize the moments when I'm sensing that divine connection- where I'm not so identified with the immediate personality, little s self. If I can, perhaps I can experience the Love of this guiding intelligence... and maybe that love can be shared in the environment. I'm not sure what else to do I've kind of made my self tired from all the energy. Just a little me after all.

I'm still not sure that message was for her- but, what were the chances a woman I hadn't seen before would walk in 5 months pregnant and I'd have the opportunity to share all that??

Ok here is the permeation where Abigail made herself known to me...

August 25th 2019, 2:22PM

Did a playful spirit visit me this morning and help me astral project? It was sometime after 4AM when I was trying to go back to sleep. I was on my left side and as I began to slip into rest I felt those chills running along my spine- super blissful, it caused my eyes to roll up in ecstasy. I tried to keep my presence "open" and took this in-between moment as a chance for astral projection. The chills turned into a vibration and a sound that I could not only hear but feel running along my spine. My mind thought there was something or someone with me, this "vibration" I intuit as higher frequency.

My initial attempt to project was a failure- my, "astral self" rolled out of bed and landed on the floor with my face on the ground. I had, "an eye half open" and everything was to heavy to move around on my own. I tried to get up and could barley see out of this peaked open eye of mine, I was stumbling around and couldn't really open my eyes all the way. This time I actually crawled back into bed and my attention then shifted to my physical self, still sleeping on the bed on its left side. I realize I hadn't actually fallen out of bed and laid on the floor, which felt very real, but that I was in the same spot the entire time. This was my "safety-net" to try again.

Still the vibration continued, I felt there was a "them" I was keeping myself open to during this in-between once more. To describe the, "in-between" feeling... It's a honing in, as the body shuts down to rest, a type of noise zeroes in and a rising out meets this noise- sometimes when I "allow" the crossing to take place I start to hear talking- sometimes directly to me other times I feel I am listening to others have conversation. I had one experience where it felt like I was at a mess-hall listening to all kinds of chatter. Anyways... This morning I again project and as I pull myself out from my body I look at my hands and instead see these slender, shadowy/wispy hands in front of me. I don't quite remember viewing my astral self in this manner- I am lighter and I see words move across empty space in my room and I giggle as I try to say those words aloud. As if discovering I have a voice I get excited but it also sounds girly? I roll around in my room and crawl, I peek my head out of the bedroom door because there is a part of me that knows the dogs are about to be let outside. I wonder with excitement if they see me and seem to be making a game of things. I then get this vision to go outside and I glide down the stairs but am still looking at these wispy shadowy hands of mine. Once I get outside I raise my hands up and say, "AUM" and I see the shadow like hands stretching up to the sky- I feel so happy doing this. I try again and again, "AUM" and everything starts floating up I start laughing.

After this I believe my projection turns into a lucid dream. I come back inside to find Dad on the couch and he see's me... But I ask him, "do you recognize me? We aren't actually here." Which disturbs him and I see he looks at me as if he were looking at a ghost. My awareness is then shifted to my room where I'm sleeping and I hear a name in my mind, Abbey- is this the person I felt as a vibration next to me? The bedroom door opens and my parents, who have visibly aged, open the door and ask me something alarming to rouse me from my sleep. I felt confused between what was really happening and I started to panic only to come back to my panicked/labored breathing of me sleeping on my left side on the bed. It almost felt like, "time" didn't want me where I was... Well I fell back asleep but this morning I woke up and started thinking about this girl, I think her name is Abbey and her personality keeps popping in my mind. I have this feeling that she somehow aided my astral projection and that we shared consciousness.
I think she is young and playful... Not sure what else at this time.

PS... I eventually looked up the name meaning of Abigail.
Did you know? It translates to,
"My Fathers Joy"

[tides2dust]

Maybe one message can produce many fruits...

Today- after work, I went to my local grocery store. I am a good acquaintance with one of the employees. She decided to share with me that she is pregnant. I was very happy for her.

I didn't think my dream was for her but... as we were talking, something compelled me to share the dream with her too. So... I did. And I told her, "I've never heard God announced in this way before."

---"In what way?" she asked.

"I've never heard angels announce God as God of Elijah."

She was floored. She told me her Father is Elijah. And her father's Father is Elijah. Her dad is Elijah Jr.

With the hairs standing up on my arm I decided to relay the message as best as I could. As if God were sending me a wink from the Universe she decided to share, of her own fruition, that her Father was a pastor.

I thought that was interesting because the woman I shared this dream with last Thursday decided to share with me, also randomly, that her husbands father is a pastor.

What were the chances this message would have a special meaning for two different people sharing such unique similarities? And it seems to have even more meaning I've yet to comprehend.

It's been a lovely day recognizing and feeling Love... Like a nectar pouring from my Heart.

[tides2dust]

I also realize... reading through my journal... I asked- I'm not sure what else to do?

I am still pretty tired. I've been tired lately- can't explain it.

But... I decided to tune into a monks discourse yesterday on the subject: "What is at the heart of love?"

I listened to him talk about different ways to grow love and experience love.

He suggested something very unique to me and it kind of brings back my desire to align with a Sufi practice- to recognize God in all.

He suggest loving God as if God were the child and *You are the parent.

What more could a parent want from a child other than to see their child happy?

What does a parent experience from the innocence of a child?

I acknowledge God in all these forms. Friend, Lover, Teacher, Parent... But have I ever imagined God as the child?

When I asked... What more can I do? I think I was asking- what more can I expect? Suddenly I feel like there is nothing more I could want. Nothing more to want.

I just want to make sure I am responding to the magnificent NOW as best as I am able. What if you treated this magnificent now like your beloved child?

[tides2dust]

Nature of Consciousness

Good morning AP~
Whether intentional or not, it seems a lot of the threads I participate in circle back to ideas on the nature of consciousness.

What can I say so far? Consciousness is. I also say, Spirit is Alive. I also believe it as a guiding intelligence.

In recent examples of the aliveness, I have described random music on a radio singing a song where the lyrics align with the conversation I am having with people in that very moment.

I have shown examples of physical manifestations, like my initials engraved in cement near the apartment I ended up moving into. A unit I picked last minute, unaware of those initials out there...

Of dreams where I heard God announced as God of Elijah and it would serve multiple people in my waking life. A soon to be mother x2- both women being related to a pastor... And the last womans father being Elijah Jr and her fathers, father Elijah Sr.

And there are many more examples going even further back in this journal- that show us this Aliveness is able to influence past and future to bring us into the present- into alignment with the Now, and with this guiding intelligence.

I have had rainbows manifest recently too... Seriously, on sunny days I have received a small raincloud to witness a rainbow when just a mile out there is no rain...

Ok. My points are made. Now I am getting to the reason for my writing today. Still more questions revolve around the nature of consciousness. I've been reading your post about double slit experiments and the "observer" effect. I think I once heard consciousness defined as what's observable/known. Not sure if that's it exactly, and I have to say what's unknown is still consciousness... Then again, there are things outside of our experience that have been observed and are known.

Last night I had a dream- and suddenly... Things started clicking. I have also called this guidance, "Whispers" like the Universe is highlighting certain things to us... Making us aware and bringing us back in alignment with *IT. With all that is. Let me just share the dream journal entry and the thoughts as I've recorded them- then I will elaborate underneath.
alien cephalopod - waking up to some news about my dog 10/7/24

i dream of something like a cephalopod but its floating in the air above me- it moves like its in water but there is no water. its white, red, pink/beige. it has hairy little rounded tips for legs like the ends of a lobsters tail. when i first woke up i called it a jelly but my waking mind defines it as a type of cephalopod. its unique in shape- it can fan its body out in the shape of an arrowhead. its underbelly ripples in a hypnotic motion. its suspended in the air above me and makes a unique humming noise as it tries to land on me.
my friend rob is present and ask if its safe- i tell him not to be afraid as it hovers over him and tries to land on him. rob is hesitant, i tell him it wont bite- it then floats back over towards me, makes its sound and nestles atop my shoulder... then it starts burrowing in the side of my neck and it takes a bite.
OUCH.
Rob looks at me- i tell him i was wrong and that it bit me.

later i have a dream that i admire this guys football ability to have such precise aim/throw. i want to do the same and take him on as a challenge. its more like we are kids playing a game in a park, showing off our skills. there is a random scene where it feels like im in a mcdonalds play area going down the slide- and there is another scene where i have to pee in a public space and someone is watching me warning me ive been holding it in too long. i tell them to leave me alone or ill pee on their foot.

back to the football scene... its here, where things are blended with the mcdonalds play pen scene that i get a visual of my estranged friend sammy pull up in a parking lot where i work. around the same time i have discovered a string in my body that goes all the way through me... i cant just pull it out. sammy discovers he had similar and managed to pull the source of the string out- it was the cephalopod from earlier- now a pale white, his is dead. he helps me pull the string out of my body until we eventually pull this thing out of me. we have to kill it. i try removing his head from his body but it isnt enough. i have to take the tip of the knife and push down on this piece in the center of its head. i do so and just before it dies something springs out of this tiny gray little pebble piece. its a green chute with white silk and its reaching for us but it falls short and dies. we butterfly the corpse and inspect everything. incredible. im able to remove the strings out of my body.

------
ps... there's a similar theme happening in my environment... not sure if its related with the dream-
sunday day a customer told me they had a bacteria infection in their smaller intestine. i thought it was strange that he said its going around... but(now that i am paying attention it seems like consciousness whispering something important to me)
my dad has been having stomach issues and they're sticking a camera in his belly thursday to see whats going on.
my downstairs neighbor called me last night and told me she is having something like e coli. she gets it but its been acting up more than normal and says she may send herself to the er tomorrow(another whisper from consciousness).
and just this morning my mom asked me to call her and told me our boy dog was sent to the emergency animal hospital because he couldn't use the restroom and was throwing up- they found an obstruction in his smaller intestine and are having a team do some further imaging on it at 11am central today.

Here I am becoming alive to the whispers about something in my environment that may be bacterial/parasitic. I also seemed to have dreamt of some type of parasitic creature... I have even dreamt of having to pee and holding it in too long- only to discover as soon as I woke up that my mom called and told me our boy dog was unable to go to the restroom.

...I'm still not sure what all the additional details are. It may not be important right now. What feels important is recognizing this active communication. A collapsing barrier between inside and outside... And even, quite possibly- micro/macro.

What I mean is... Could I have been dreaming at the cellular level? Was this alien cephalopod a type of organism one could observe under a microscope? It makes me wonder how often our dreams or OBE's are actually going into the cells of the body and whether or not there is any parallel to this and the idea that we must be in "outer space."

We've all seen it, the video of the eyeball zooming out into the city, the state, the nation, the globe, space, then into the molecular structure and back to the original eyeball. It kind of reminds me of that...

So what kind of intelligence is moving through our body at the micro level(the very same of course)- and how does it relate and interact with the world around us... With these bodies we use to identify as a barrier between inside and outside... What are they really? Are we that? If the barrier isn't really... But it is, really...

Just, many questions, and an inclination to write/share... Something seems really important here. And I am grateful that Spirit would allow me the opportunity to recognize its Guidance.

I wonder how to become even more in tune with that, and to become more integrated into everything that is- not feeling so confined to the immediate host body. Not abandoning it either, respecting it- cherishing it... I'm not even sure I understand how to articulate my desire to marry the material/immaterial... Because they already are... And I know I have more to unlearn...

What's happening is still not quite so clear to me... But it is a type of communication... It's a type of feeling, and I wish to hone this skill and feel a sense of knowing/clarity about it all.

[Frostytraveler]

Interesting... The other day I had a projection off world where pathogens were a concern. Perhaps I will post about it in a bit.

[Tak]

Tides, you're experiencing some amazing synchronicities and dreams! I like very much how you connect the Divine Intelligence surrounding us to these mysterious and fascinating events. It's great to be aware of these messages along the way.

I've noticed that practicing AP develops non-physical senses like telepathy, precognition, and clairvoyance during wakefulness. That's why I'm not surprised you're experiencing these qualities in your daily life and becoming aware of them.
I think it's also possible to experience AP at a cellular level, which would be fascinating to explore for optimal health or healing others. In one of Buhlman's books, he mentions someone entering their father's bloodstream to heal him.

Regarding the gap between 'internal and external' you're right; it's an illusion, since everything stems from the same Consciousness. Our physical body seems like a barrier between external and internal, physical and non-physical, but it's not. We're taught that mind and consciousness are generated by our brain, making each person's mind individual. However, experience has shown me that Mind is a collective fluid we're all immersed in, navigating and sharing with every individual (points of consciousness). I've learned that this gap isn't real; it's an illusion necessary for functioning within our current social system, which relies heavily on the illusion of separation.

Recently, I had an intense experience during meditation while practicing an exercise from a book. I genuinely felt the illusory barrier separating my mind from the environment collapse, like a wall crumbling. I'm struggling to put it into words, but I'll try. It was as if my mind became an infinite corridor leading outward, no longer confined within my head, but merging with what surrounded me and beyond. It was so overwhelming that I got scared... 'What now?! It happened. What next?' I thought. First, I wondered if I could telepathically communicate with any nearby entity. It didn't happen. I ended up asking to return to my normal state of illusion, as it was too much to handle, and I was fearful.

These experiences serve as a gauge to see how much I need to overcome my own limits and fears (those I impose on myself). We often say the system conditions us, and it's true. But then we ourselves continue to perpetuate limiting beliefs and walk in circles within an imaginary cage.

In the hypnagogic state, the internal-external also dissolves. We start seeing things that truly exist, like remote viewing, and communicating with other beings occasionally (without leaving the body). Recently, while practicing, I felt someone greeting me and then asking my name, and I telepathically responded, 'My name is Carla'. Though the communication was mental, I could hear our voices like underwater echoes. He congratulated me and left. I didn't see who it was, just patterns, but sensed his presence. In these states, I've also seen future scenes. Again, the gap between the internal and external, blurred and uncertain. Also the fact that we transcend the different planes (external) due to our state of consciousness (internal) reflects this interconnection between inside and outside, and experiencing one depends on the other.

Consciousness breaks the illusions of space, time and the internal-external gap. It's a beautiful discovery, knowing we're free and limitless. We're connected to all Creation, and Divine Consciousness is part of this underlying interconnectedness flowing through us. We've never left 'Home.' I think our Higher Self constantly sends signals to check if we're on the right path, like your experience with your initials engraved in cement near the apartment. Paying attention to this is an important step you're taking; keep going! I believe you're well-aligned to your path, and this is an explicit confirmation .

[tides2dust]

Hi Tak,

Your reply means a lot to me. Thank you. I am really happy with what you've been sharing as it relates to your own journey as well.

I can relate to the feeling of things being too real to the point it takes us out of our comfort zone.

Like you, I had a similar feeling of fear from meditating where I could feel the weight/presence of a person standing behind me. Before they got there, a flash of white light appeared in my room and a sudden chill was sent down my spine. It was near 3AM and the atmosphere/environment became so heavy and real my hairs were standing on the back of my neck. I honestly thought the presence was Yogananda. That realness was more real than the comfort of being anchored in this body.

I scared myself and retreated back to this dense reality.

I have so much more to learn/unlearn. But the desire to be in the now* as we have discussed, the desire to be in alignment with the marriage of immaterial/material... To witness it- to know it. I really can't explain in words how deep my desire for that Oneness is. It's hard to wrap my mind around.

At the same time, it seems I do have other desires and am more dense than what I was 10 years ago. I don't meditate as often as I used to, and am more involved in materialistic manner as necessity and a means to satisfy my other desires.

None of which has to be a conflict or at war with the other. I seek harmony in all these things...

Thank you <3

[tides2dust]

I wake up around 2:45AM to use the restroom. At the same time my neighbor is coming home with a couple of friends. They are loud and listening to music at 3AM until about 4AM. I can't fall back asleep. I remember reading Taks journal entry and try counting backwards from 100, coloring the numbers and noting the visuals behind closed eyes. I get to 0 and still can't fall asleep. I turn to my side and then the other, finally I manage to doze off at some point.

That's when I realize I'm having an OBE. Except I'm not in my apartment, I'm at my parents house and in their main hallway. I see another Being standing on the other side of the door, he is tall with cream-beige skin. No hair on his body, and he may have an extra pair of arms. Everything feels realer than real. I walk towards him, I don't like that he's just standing there watching me. I want to know who he is- but as I get closer to him I see him using one of his hands and applying some kind of force. I am brought down to one knee by the weight of this invisible force. I stay there for a minute and then put my hand up in the air with my palm facing him. I feel like I'm applying a force right back, and I stand up and continue to walk towards the door.

I phase through the front door, but completely lose awareness of the being on the other side. Instead I am now in the center of the street looking up towards the sky. Because I recognize all the sensations of being OoB I decide to float up towards the sky. At some point there's an impression of a UFO among the stars- its blended in with the night and I don't know if that is happening now or comes later. I also don't know what body I have anymore. Instead I am spiraling up towards the clouds- my awareness, whatever body it is attached to, feels wider and more geometric. I'm not looking out through a set of eyes, I don't have a neck. But I am seeing from a very head on-nose to object first person kind of view. I can feel the cool air! I can feel the weight of my vessel as I decide to rotate my ascent upwards in a spiral fashion. It feels great! I am spiraling in a straight line upwards to the right- and then I decide to spiral to the left. I'm not laughing but I feel the joy of laughing inside me. The sky is so clear, and I'm getting higher up than I normally would!

After this I descend into a dream... I am in my apartment. It's now daylight and I'm opening my door for whatever reason in nothing but boxers and a suit jacket. That's when my neighbor opens her door, but it isn't her it's one of her friends. I apologize for running into her exposed and close my door... But I really want to be outside I think to myself- so I put my hands in my suit pockets to cover up my near naked body as I go back out. I realize my neighbors friend is trying to rescue her cat which got loose.

I somehow help her and she introduces herself to me, she is surprised to discover I'll be one of her students and she is my teacher. I think it odd that she's my teacher considering she's so much younger and was just up all night partying.

From here I seem to be at my parents house taking a shower- except the showerhead is broken and I am instead being sprayed down by the sink. At the same time there is a new shower head that was poorly installed next to the old one and its running water and spilling all outside the shower and on the floor. My mother has guest downstairs while I'm trying to clean myself and clean up the excess water.

And I think after this I am teleported to a building. There's a new academia in town. I am one of the people in charge of this PSK type school and greeting the old head master. I am explaining to them we are moving in, we have legally won this place. As I say that I see Tulsi Gabbard and her Mother enter the building... And suddenly there's a line of young leaders with their parents coming into the building. Now I'm standing at the front door and greeting each person that walks in- I'm wearing a suit and tie, fully clothed. I shake each persons hand and smile, "congratulations" I tell them. One of the young men tells me I look good with a tie on, we laugh. The same feeling of being OoB seems to take over here -

And somehow it's nighttime again I am looking at the stars I think through a glass door and I'm pointing out the difference between the stars and a cluster of lights which appear to be more like a craft than anything else.

I wake up around 6AM... All of this happened in the course of 1 hour and maybe + 15 minutes.

[Tak]

We both had OBEs this weekend, cool! I liked your journey, Tides.
Sometimes it is not enough for me to count from 100 to 1 just once, in general it is 2 to 4 times. I'm glad it worked! I am using this method often.

[tides2dust]

This dream from 2008... Where I was racing another geometric shape... It's color red... My color green.... And then exploding in a place beyond space- a place where everything I was coalesced with tiny particles and other geometric shapes moving with rhythm of the contracting and expanding breath.

It reminded me of this mornings reading from the Awakin.org mailing list. I can't believe this was written in the 1930's, it really makes me wonder what the special relationship between green and red energy is... And makes me wonder how this reading is so perfectly aligned with my own belief system and even one of my more profound experiences. I'd really like to have met this Rabindranath Tagore... This may be a clue to better understanding my relationship with the guiding, loving and intelligent spirit.

I have been feeling a bit disconnected from this relationship over the last few days. But this morning I was feeling a profound sense of comfort, relaxation, acceptance... I was feeling peace. And everything fell into place. My tux came in(I'm a groomsman for a friends upcoming wedding) it was a perfect fit, my 2025 crystal contact calendar came in(it had been shipped on dec 9th)... I was feeling very alive with the "now" in a way that can be best described as faith-like assurance.

While I was working out, FOX a major network was showing clips from ESPN another major network- and right at that moment the athletes with the last names, "Ponder" and "Houston" were there for me to witness. I'm from Houston. And today I find my self in deep reflection. I realize one of my ultimate goals in this life is to seek, feel and live in this wholeness... This relationship with the Living Spirit. And as a consequence, to discover who/what I really am.

I have themes in my life right now that involve balancing my own light and dark personality quirks. There's nothing wrong with choosing who I want to be, and there's nothing wrong with recognizing where I'm at as not always being aligned with who I want to be. Maybe even understanding sometimes who I want to be is not who or what I am. Yeah, a balancing act. I've been trying really hard to behave a certain way because I think it means shaping into the person I want to be, only to realize I have been ignoring aspects of my self that need to be experienced and expressed.

Just this morning I found my self saying to God... God will use me as He see's fit. In the meantime, I'm going to keep working on what I want for my self in this life- and I hope I'm never insulting God in the process. There's so much more to unpack here. But for now, I'll just say it's nice to be back in this "now" present feeling with that special "divine something." The connection. I do believe it's always there, and I do believe we have to work to recognize that.

Well. Without further ado, todays beautiful excerpt:

"I"
--Rabindranath Tagore
The color of my consciousness made the emerald green, and the ruby red.

I gazed at the sky, and the light dazzled in the east and the west.

I turned to the rose and exclaimed - 'it's beautiful!' and beautiful it became.

You say, 'it's philosophy, not a poetic composition.' I say, 'it's truth, and that makes it poetry.'

This is my proud claim - pride on behalf of the whole of humanity, that only on the canvas of the human ego is drawn the artistic masterpiece of the universe.

The philosophers are negating existence in every breath - muttering 'No, no, no. Not emerald, not ruby, not light, not rose. Nor I, nor you.'

Meanwhile, the limitless one is exploring itself within the limits of humanity. That's called 'I'.

... Excerpted from Shyamoli (1936), translated from the Bengali version "Ami".

https://www.awakin.org/v2/read/view.php?tid=2713

Happy New Year <3