The Astral Pulse

Astral Chat => Welcome to Astral Chat! => Topic started by: Alan McDougall on January 24, 2010, 01:48:46

Title: The story of Suba an African girl (Fundamentalist Christian please read)
Post by: Alan McDougall on January 24, 2010, 01:48:46
The story of Suba an African girl

The following trial and judgment is based on the teachings of the world's leading clergymen and theologians. "My God is a god of love not the monster depicted by these idiots "in the following imaginary trial on the great judgment day of God"

A theoretical Judgment Day for a young African girl named Suba, who died at age seventeen while giving birth to her first child:

God: What do you have to say for yourself, Suba?

Suba: I'm sorry, your holiness, I am frightened and I don't understand the question.

God: There is nothing to be frightened of, my child. I won't hurt you [yet]. Tell me about your life.

Suba: I was born number three of seven children. My mother and father loved us very much. They taught us many things like, food getting, fire cooking, clothes making, basket making, the rules of our tribe, and how to worship the great maker.

God: That would be me. I am the Great Maker. Tell me about that. How did you worship me?

Suba: Well, we were told to treat everyone in the tribe real good. That is what the great maker wanted all of us to do -- be real good to all people. We were told that the great maker would then be real good to us. Life was pretty good except when we didn't have much food to eat, and when a bad tribe from far away came and burned our village and killed many of our people.

God: Did you hate those bad men who killed your people?

Suba: Yes, your holiness, of course we hated them.

God: Do you know that it is a sin to hate?

Suba: What is a sin?

God: Something bad.

Suba: I knew it was bad to sass back to my Mother and Father. I was but seven years old when my village was burned. I don't think I hate them anymore. All I ever wanted was a place to live in peace with enough food to eat, and to raise my baby to be a fine woman. Is that bad, your holiness?

God: You mean to tell me you have never done anything bad that you knew was bad?

Suba: Yes I did, your holiness, many times. And my mother would hit my bottom with a stick if she saw me do something bad. But when I was having my baby, it hurt a hundred times more than when mother hit me with a stick. And that's the last thing I remember until being brought here.

God: You know, Suba, I had a son.

Suba: I'll bet you were real proud of him.

God: No one will ever know how much. All his life, he taught people to love each other and to forgive each other for being bad, and even to love their enemies.

Suba: He sounds like a nice man.

God: Yes he was. But when he was just a young man, the worshipers of the great maker banded together and killed my son by nailing him to a tree.

Suba: Oh, god! I am so sorry. I know you must miss him a lot.

God: No, child. He's alive with me. I brought him back to life only three days after they killed him. He is now the savior of all people on earth.

Suba: We never heard of your son in Africa. I so wish that your son could have saved my tribe from those bad people when I was a little girl.

God: My son can save people even if they are dead.

Suba: Wow! That sounds too good to be true. How does you son actually save all people?

God: He doesn't save all people.

Suba: But your holiness, you said he is the savior of all the people on earth.

God: Yes, my child. My son is the savior of all people; it's just that he doesn't actually save all people.

Suba: I don't understand "he is, but he isn't." If I would have ever said something as mixed up as that to my Momma, she would have hit me with a stick.

God: Let me explain: My son died such a bad death to pay for all the bad things that bad people do. Now anyone who believes my son did a good thing for them will not be hurt for the bad things they did, but will live for ever. I have written all these rules in a book called the bible. It says in the bible that what you get for doing bad is death. But if any one likes my son's sacrifice for their bad life, I will give them a free gift of life.

Suba: Oh god! I hardly know what to say. You mean if I believe in your son who did a good thing for me, even though I have often been bad, that you will give me a life that never ends?

God: No child. Not you. You don't understand the higher scholarship of Christian theology. You see, you don't qualify to be saved.

Suba: What is "c h r i s t i a n t h e o l o g y?"

God: It's too confusing, Child, not even theologians know what it is.

Suba: Why don't I "qualify?" What must I do to "qualify?"

God: You don't have to do anything to qualify. Salvation is by grace. That
means it's a free gift

Suba: Then why don't I qualify, your holiness?

God: Well, what I mean is you can't qualify for salvation, but you can be disqualified by not qualifying for the qualification that is not required, seeing salvation is free by grace. Or, ah, something likes that.

Suba: Do you reckon, your holiness, one of those theologians might be able to explain that a litter better for me?

God: No, my child, besides, it is too late for you to be saved.

Suba: But, your holiness, why is it too late?

God: Because you didn't accept my son and his sacrifice before you died giving birth.

Suba: But, your holiness, I didn't know of your son and his sacrifice before I died.

God: Tough child. I can't be bothered with all the complicated details of trying to get everybody saved. Besides, most of the highest educated theologians in the world clearly teach that if one dies not knowing of my son's sacrifice for them, it is too late to ever be saved.

Suba: You mean my punishment for being bad will not be taken away by your son and I will be given death for ever?

God: Not exactly, child. I know my bible says death, but my theologians thought that death was too good for bad people, so they changed it to a never-ending life of torture in fire. And it will hurt hundreds and hundreds and countless billions of times more than when you died giving birth. I will never stop burning your flesh, Suba, not even for a second, and, of course, your baby daughter will be burning right by your side. Actually most of Africa will be burning with you. Billions and billions. Just burning and burning. Billions and bill ... Excuse me, Suba, go ahead.

Suba: But god, your holiness, why? Why?

God: Look child, as one of my leading theologians recently suggested, it is not incumbent upon me to save everyone. Indeed it is not incumbent upon me to save anyone. Besides you are my enemy and I hate you. I know it doesn't sound fair child, but you have to understand, these great theologians of the world have made these rules, and so my hands are tied.

Suba: But god, I don't hate you.

God: Now don't try to lay a guilt trip on me child, I said I hate you, you're my enemy, and that's final.

Suba: But your holiness, you said your son taught everyone to love their enemies?


""GOD: ANGELS OF THE GUARD, "THIS GIRL IS GETTING ON MY NERVES". "THROW HER INTO THE FIRES OF HELL TO BURN SCREAM IN HORROR, DESOLATION, AND LONELINESS FOR EVER. AND EVER AND EVER, WITH NO END TO HER INFINITE TORMENT""


"' FOR THE TINY MINUTE FINITE TRANSGRESSIONS SHE LIKE ALL HUMANS OF ALL FAITHS HAVE DONE. ONLY" BORNAGAINCHRISTIANS" ARE SAVED FROM THIS HORROR!!


God: Next who are we now going to confine to everlasting torment?

Abject rubbish god is love and loves all of humanity not a minute tiny within the beautiful vastness of the infinite cosmic

Regards
Alan
__________________
Title: Re: The story of Suba an African girl (Fundamentalist Christian please read)
Post by: NoY on January 24, 2010, 15:43:43
That's offensive.

I thought the last king was the living god all were supposed to know not the one who is against the righteous in these days

:NoY:
Title: Re: The story of Suba an African girl (Fundamentalist Christian please read)
Post by: AmbientSound on January 27, 2010, 20:58:01
"As you will no doubt be aware, the plans for development of the outlying regions of the Galaxy require the building of a hyperspatial express route through your star system, and regrettably your planet is one of those scheduled for demolition. The process will take slightly less than two of your Earth minutes. Thank you." -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy