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I did it!

Here's what happened: I woke up early yesterday and was tired by mid day, so I took a three hour nap. I woke up for about three hours, then tried to force myself back to sleep (normal bedtime). As I was falling asleep a few times, I noticed the tingles. While trying to relax into it, I managed to accidentally wake myself about three times. Finally, I gave up trying to relax and started to try to fall asleep.

There I was, laying on my side, thinking about my class in the morning, when I rolled and fell out of bed! It felt like someone had pushed me from behind. My three year old sleeps in the same bed as me, so I thought she had kicked me off. I stood up and straightened out my clothes, but my eyes were drawn to my window. I watched the trees move in the light that the apartment complex put right next to our bedroom (it's aggravating some nights), then thought that I should probably get back to bed. As I turned to look at the bed, I had the nagging feeling that I shouldn't look. It was only then that I realized I stepped out of myself completely! Now, I really wanted to look back at the bed, but something was telling me no and freezing me in place; I was unable to turn my head down to see myself. Angry, I lashed out and pushed whatever was holding me (I went to bed angry; I'm sure this wouldn't have happened had I gone to bed in a better mood). Suddenly, the world twisted violently and I was pulled back into myself.

My eyes immediately snapped open, and I sat up quickly. It was quite the experience! I don't think I'll be afraid of APs again!!

Okay, so this may not be the normal experience, but....

So I went to bed last night without worrying about SPs or weird things. I was just sleepy. My daughter woke me up early this morning but promptly went back to sleep. I didn't exactly 'wake up' with her; more like on cusp of sleep and wakefullness. So, when I finally dosed a little, I went from being in the dream world to standing in front of a door. I immediately realized this wasn't a dream anymore, because it didn't have that disjointed, wtf is going on, feeling. So I watched the door open and out came a young man. He was extremely sad, with his head hung, and very very blonde...his hair practically radiated light. I hugged him close and he told me he 'I'm sorry, but I don't remember. I don't remember.'. I smiled and told him 'It's okay, I'm glad you don't remember. You've had it rough.'. Another thing that made me realize it wasn't just a dream; I woke up remembering exactly what was said between us. I've never had that happen before. Once I let him go, he went back through the door and it closed. Then, the actual dream world continued and became all disjointed and illogical.

Is this what I should be looking out for? Or was it just a particularly lucid dream within a dream?

Hello, everyone. It is a pleasure to be here.

Since I was young, I've had sleep paralysis and terrible nightmares associated with it (apparently the doctors called it hallucinations while under sleep paralysis). When I met my husband, I told him all about the sensations I would get and the 'hallucinations'. He told me I should start reading some books on astral projection, because everything I've told him points to it.

Thus, here I am, confused and looking for a place that can inform/support me as I learn this.

Out of the fifteen or so real sleep paralysis' I remember clearly, only one was not a fearful one. The rest have been downright horrific. None of them have been drug induced, just so you all know. However, I've had scratchy 'sound' looking creatures spazzing above my head as I heard the usual 'buzzing' noise. I've felt rubber bands around my waist literally trying to pull me off my couch, to separate me and, so I thought, physically kill me if those rubber bands managed to pull out my spirit. I've seen an extra door in my living room, with locks and chains on it, come open a little bit with a shadow creature peeking his/her/it's head in before slowly closing the door and locking it back up (this one, I think I managed some kind of OBE, because I called out to my husband sleeping on the other sofa and we watched the door together, not that he remember it though). I've seen the grudge girl peeking at me at the side of the bed. I've felt hands claw at my legs beneath the covers, trying to pull me off the bed.

The good one: an angelic woman kneeling by my bed one day when I was extremely sick and feverish. I was tingly, couldn't move, and could only see a vague outline of her, but she calmed me and helped me sleep.

All of these start with me thinking about the next day, and if I'm trying to sleep on my back. I'll suddenly realize that (during a mild one) my body appears to be tingly. During an intense one, it'll feel as if every atom of my body is trying to shake themselves to even smaller pieces. During the rubber band one, I remember thinking if I turned my head, that would be it, I would see myself sleeping on the couch and I would be dead. I'll acknowledge the fact that I'm in a sleep paralysis once the tingling starts and I will be aware that something is going to happen, but I absolutely cannot stop the terror. The only thing I can do is keep my eyes shut and hope to completely fall asleep or completely wake up.

What I want to do is stop the fear and get over myself, and finally get to the point everyone else seems to slip into quite happily. My husband envies my apparently easy slip into the astral world and tells me not to condemn the experience, but to learn to harness some control, so here I am. I must say it again though; this isn't a simple fear, like fearing the dark, this is mind numbing terror of insanely creepy creatures killing me in ways I can't imagine.

Has anyone else had a terrifying experience, or am I alone here? Can anyone give me some advice for next time? I want to try to induce this state on purpose, but I don't want to do it without some advice and scare myself again. Apparently, astral travel can be quite wonderful. I'd like to get to that point eventually.

Thanks for reading, and I apologize for the length. If you are still with me, then you are absolutely awesome!

I look forward to meeting you all. Have a great night!