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Okay, I am an agnostic teenager who used to be a passive Christian and then a strong atheist when it came to religion.  When I was younger, I was very passive about religion, just kind of being there and not understanding anything.  I claimed I was Christian, being baptized when I was 10, without really knowing anything about Christianity.  I then brushed all of these ideas off as mere fantasies of the mind, and of wishful thinking.  However, since my anxiety and depression took hold of me with the self-realization of how scary death actually was (happened 6 months ago), I really began to fear the possibility of empty nothingness and oblivion after death.  I have gained an appreciation for religion that I never thought existed, after I began to read from many different sources about many different religions.  Based upon what I have read, I have determined that I am neither a Christian nor a strong atheist, but an agnostic at heart (I like to call myself a liberal agnostic, for both religious and political purposes).  I haven't read all of the Bible yet (few ever do), but based upon what I read of it, I can't believe how people can call this ancient collection of documents written by many different authors over a long period of time as inerrant.  Especially of concern is how people can interpret the Bible only one way when conflicting passages and much ambiguity exists within it.  Among my most favorite topics are: salvation, proselytizing (known as witnessing or conversion by some), Biblical genocide, absolute morality, absolute knowledge, and the Golden Rule.  I have many questions, and very little answers for any of them.  I am especially confused about the prerequisites (requirements) for salvation, confused that mere thoughts would prevent one from going to heaven, and confused that an all-loving God would send people to hell for eternal torture. I have read countless articles (and even Biblical passages) about salvation, and it all seems very confusing. With thousands of different denominations in Christianity, who is more right than the other? Who determines who is right and who is wrong? Does absolute knowledge and absolute morality even exist? Why is the divorce rate among conservative Christians higher than that of atheists? Why can't science and religion co-mingle in ideas, rather than shoot each other down? Why do wars based on religion happen if the Golden Rule exists in almost all religions? Why is it that negative news is portrayed much more often than positive news? These are but a few of my doubts and questions, many of which prevent me from joining a formal, organized religion at this time.  However, I wish to start going to a Unitarian Universalism church at some time.  Anyways, that's the lowdown on my current path in religion.  With all of these questions, I am sure that there is an answer!  If any of you knows the answer to any of my questions, I'd appreciate it!  If they are unanswerable, having multiple viewpoints from others is all that matters!

Even though I am only in part 1 of Astral Dynamics (almost at part 2), I did a search in the index about death in the book.  It mentions the 2nd death, when the energies left behind after the 1st death are used up completely and leads to an ascension.  I just wanted to know: is it still possible to visit Earth and the real-time zone after the 2nd death?  The book doesn't provide much answers to this question, only that you go to a transition point after the 2nd death in preparation of the journey to your new Home.  It would be a shame if I couldn't at least OBSERVE my descendants and the physical universe from my Spirit Home, I think.  No, I'm not a spy, but it would be nice to see the progression of the Earth and the rest of the universe, wouldn't it?  Humans are very interesting creatures, after all (myself being one).  Also, if I can visit or observe the real-time zone after my 2nd death, can I still read what's there?  I love to read, and it would be great to see the changing viewpoints of humanity in the future.  Thanks in advance for the answers!

P.S: I'm still a little unsure about reincarnation, because I don't want to live life again just to fear death!  Do I have a choice of whether I want to reincarnate or not?  If I have no choice, will I at least be able to influence my "new self" in some way?  Also, if I remain a spirit, can I also remain independent?  I am a bit unsure about becoming a part of The Source, because I'm afraid of losing my personality and all that I have worked so hard to become.  If you can answer these questions as well, I'd appreciate it!

Hello everyone, I just wanted to let you know that I am having a terrible spot of depression right now.  I've had anxiety and depression for over 6 months now, with thoughts of death consuming my mind.    I have obsessions with monotony, and this in turn brought me a disinterest in the things I once loved.  Despite this, some good has come out of it: without this depression, I would still be strong atheist (I'm a liberal agnostic now), I would never have bought the book Astral Dynamics, and I would never have visited these forums.  I haven't started the NEW techniques yet, but I will soon (I'm almost done with part 1 of the book).  In the time it will take me to learn how to heal my energy from the NEW techniques, it would be great if I had some healing upliftment in the meantime.  My name is Benjamin David Greengaard (where the Gaarden name came from), and I live in Tucson, Arizona.  I am a bit shy about sending my picture to you guys at this time (my social anxiety is kicking in), but if I must do it to feel better, then I will do it.  Thank you in advance for all the help you are bringing me!

I am a junior in high school, and ever since late October of 2004, I have had nothing but the obsessional thought of death, of myself and all I love. I have been very unhappy, switching medications, seeing therapists, and even am on a program to treat my condition. However, it has been 6 months since it all began, and I still have my obsessional thoughts of death, and this has made me loose my focus and ability to think. Also, it feels as if I just drag myself through the day, all day every day, like I am wearing lead shoes. I have had racing heart palpitations, and feel tired at the same time. I have done some research on life after death, NDEs, and, finally, OBEs. I went to amazon.com to find a book on Astral projection, and Astral Dynamics was on the top of their list. I now have the book, and am currently in chapter 3, when I realized I might have a problem: my obsessional thoughts might affect my ability to Astral project or have any kind of OBE. This is especially troubling for me, considering the fact that finding out what happens after death, and finding out if I am more than my body, is the predominant reason why I have began my research and got this book. As an agnostic, I have trouble finding faith and believing in something without objectionable searching and reasoning, which is also a reason why I'm interested in Astral projection and OBE. I used the search function to find topics from other people on depression/anxiety and its affect on OBE, but found the information within to be lacking. Any information and/or advice for my obsessional thoughts of death, my anxiety, my depression, and how it affects OBE, would be greatly appreciated! (Note: I looked up in Astral Dynamics if emotional imbalance would be a problem for OBE, and it said that it can become and is a problem, but offered no specific advice for anxious/depressed people. Also, I am a perfectionist, which makes it so I have to re-read what I don't understand, and this makes me take longer to read/write than most people, which could also become a problem.)