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I really enjoy reading your reply, Tak.

I think, as long as there is- "i, my, me mine" (Cue polysics =P) most definitely we are going to be terrified.

I've opened up a conversation about this very thing with Casey over at the GTC-
https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/omtalks/discussing-et-s-and-mass-contact-t2257.html#p31027 (for anyone interested).

We're all students here, and we're learning to see the world with a new set of eyes. A language that goes beyond the concept of, 'i, my, me mine' and we're contending with years of biological fight/flight evolution. 

It would appear there are many ways to experience life on Earth...

PS... Did you enjoy the popcorn and Interstellar? 

Thank you very much Tides for your response, I'm glad you liked it.

Oh! The Ego thing... our beloved roommate, an integral tool for development on the physical plane and at the same time has become the great enemy of humanity, creating fear, divisions, destruction and confusion about our true nature. Much to reflect on! I suppose we must understand that this is just a useful tool, but without letting it involve us too much, learn to control it and put it in its place. Easy? Not at all!

I loved your conversation with Casey, very deep words from both of you, I always learn so much here with all of you  I understood the concept. I also liked the topic of planetary ascension and massive contact, I haven't seen that topic very much, just a little bit. I have hope that humanity will wake up little by little, but it won't be easy. For my part, I have many fears to work on, I try hard.

I really enjoyed Interstellar! I loved it, thank you Tides for the recommendation, I want to see the second part now. Very emotional and suspenseful movie... and the end just woah! I didn't expect anything less. I love those dystopian futuristic movies... Humanity needs to reflect on its course, we still have time to change things. Sometimes I don't know what to think about the world and if there really is a chance of change or if everything is orchestrated as a script by those who have control. I refuse to believe that, and I choose to believe that there is hope, thoughts are very important right now because it manifests. The world needs more love and light than technology now,  to look more inside than outside, only then can we save ourselves. Very good movie! And the popcorn... yummi! I learned to make homemade candy so... they are addictive!   Nice.

Thank you very much for your kind responses! Always a pleasure to read your advice 

This is absolutely true!
Regarding what is our purpose. In my view this is the simplest thing. Our purpose is to CREATE a purpose. What do you want to create while experiencing this reality? Who do you want to be? How does the best version of you would behave and react to challenges? Go ahead and start behaving like this version that you want to be and then your reflection on the outside world in form of experiences will align accordingly.

Lightbeam, very wise words! We are creators. Sometimes I feel insecure about my life, thinking, am I doing right? Will I be on the right path? But deep down we all know very well the instructions of this crazy game, it's just that they are deep hidden in our consciousness. Although I didn't receive a direct answer that day, somehow I feel that "information comes down" to my mind, "by dripping". I feel my thoughts more organized, calm and at peace, it's pleasant. I know the paths will open up.

Tak, I have to ask- Why do you have this strong desire to visit the RTZ?

EscapeVelocity, excellent conclusion! Thank you for always delving so deeply into my questions, I agree with you. I think that in part the desire to visit RTZ is because my first spontaneous experiences have been right there, and it's the "default image" so to speak, that I have of "what to expect from an astral projection". And I don't know why I continue with this old pattern, if I already know that an obe is much more than that... Although, I also do it as a game, a simple "exercise of skill" to have fun and have a goal, an orientation, since many times when I go out I feel disoriented, and this helps me focus and concentrate. I try to remember how I felt in those spontaneous RTZ experiences and reproduce it in some way. I guess I also feel what you mention about having "unfinished business there". One of them is to overcome the fear of the body, this last time it struck me again, why do I think I died? Part of the ego continues to partially identify with the body, it's very easy to say "we are not this body" but when we see ourselves lying there... Mother mine! I also felt frustrated, because 18 years ago and also 5 years ago I had two spontaneous experiences in RTZ where I began to rise from my body... They were perfect, very "neat" I was just a point of consciousness surrounded by a haze of white light and I started to see my room, but I came back into my body again, screaming I'm not ready, not today, not today! I don't know why it scared me so much, what a wasted opportunity! I regret. I feel like I "owe" myself a walk around the neighborhood, since I have only stumbled through my house.

I had not had an RTZ experience since maybe 2013...thought I had lost them for all these reasons...last week I was dozing early morning, not even partly asleep...BANG! the vibrations hit, the noise hit! I floated straight out and got swept through my bedroom, noting all the details along the way, lol...downstairs, partly through the wall, lol...into my family room, then pulled backward out the back of the house...'RTZ fluctuations' set in, I realized dream imagery was intruding...and I went out the back wall of my grandparents' house realizing the incongruity and lost awareness...

How nice your obe experience around the house and feeling all the objects around, that's fun very good! I wonder what those forces are. It's like this Guiding Force that directs almost all my experiences now, I have no control over this, it's as if a current of air takes me from the ground at its will, it also does it through the Void, it can be towards a beautiful landscape or a specific lesson. I'm suspecting that it's a higher aspect of my own consciousness, dissociated. In fact, in some hypnagogic experiences it also appears, lying in bed with my eyes closed, but completely immersed in another environment, it takes me to explore a specific area. I don't have much luck with questions lately, but maybe I'll dare to ask next time, who is behind this? Since this energy has become more communicative with me, it's not as if I'm talking to another person, no, in fact it's as if it were through my own thoughts, as if I were decoding an encrypted message and just pressing the "play" button. And it has said some pretty harsh things to me! but they are helping me a lot. I love traveling this way, I prefer that, rather of being on my own now, it's easy to get used to!

By the way, I love the blue/green river scene...that imagery is so strong for me, thank you! Very healing for me!

Oh yeah! I have no words to thank going to these beautiful places, I really needed it, it's regenerative. 

Thanks again everyone and if I can see the right number one day, I'll let you know lol.

Thank you very much for sharing your dream adventures! I love reading everyone's dreams. How fascinating this concept (new to me) about simultaneous dreams, something that Tides has described a lot, I had never read anything similar. Have you searched for more information about it or why it happens? Does this happen to you very often or is it an isolated phenomenon? So to speak. I have never experienced anything similar, I wonder if it will be confusing to stay on those dreamlike parallel lines of reality. Well, if consciousness can be divided to live multiple lives, I don't know why this surprises me.
By the way, I didn't see either movie, so I'll be preparing the popcorn .

Thank you all for your responses!    I read Leland's article, very good! I found his books on Kindle, so I'll have them soon, I'm excited like a child at Christmas! I loved that he saw his Guide as Jorge Luis Borges, that's so cool! I see... I not only consider that having a negative view of the world is now a limiting factor for the development of the Non-Physical experiences, but for daily life, since these bring quite devastating emotions... I think my view of reality is still being observed from a very human perspective, so to speak, and conditioned by my own personal events in life. I know that I must expand my field of vision, observe from another angle, understanding and accepting that the things that happen have a deeper reason, even if I still don't fully understand them. It's not easy, but it will be good to work on it.

Now something else for my Journal...

Hypnagogia: After induction and a series of breaths, I enter into a kind of tunnel, where superimposed three-dimensional triangular shapes emerge sharply from the walls, cold tones and at the end a threshold... when I cross it I see another scene, a kind of fluid, now there are warm tones, with rotating concentric circles and other strange abstractions impossible to describe. I feel very happy there, it's like being at home, I also felt some kind of pressure in my third eye.

Somehow I knew it was time and I detach of the body, I just sat down and slid to the side, now I see everything black and I feel like the atmosphere is a little heavy, it's hard to move, but I do it and stand up, I start screaming internally I want to be in RTZ! I want to see, I want to see! ... But I felt like I had a hard shell over me, as if my body were an egg or I was inside one, and I also had things over my head that I wanted to get rid of. Little by little I started to see my room, I saw that the color of the wall was correct this time, that was a good sign ha-ha. To do a reality check, I cut rectangular papers and wrote numbers from 1 to 5 and without looking I placed one on a tall furniture, so I could go check it later during an Obe, just to get my bearings and have a goal. I get closer to the furniture to see the number... I went up and saw it, it was 7, written by my hand. However, I knew that I had only put numbers from 1 to 5 and it was not possible...
Then I turned around and saw my body lying on the bed, I saw myself with all my equipment on, the sound-canceling earmuffs and the sleeping mask, it didn't scare me, but I had to remind myself, I'm not dead, this is just an Obe, huh! Also, about sixteen years ago, I had on that furniture the figure of an eagle totem, a souvenir from another country, I didn't even remember that, but there it was, the shiny totem, there are always many objects from the past! Well, since I was confused about the number, I went to the window and flew out, but I entered the Void as always. So, I ask for help to see, and I started to see strange buildings forming, it was funny because I could see the construction of the scene, the buildings were all messy, overlapping, turned around and moving... yeah, at the best Dr. Strange style! lol. 

But when the scene finished forming, it was incredible... It was my city again, but another version of it. I'm taken by the Guiding Force now through the landscape, we were going quite fast to the east (a pattern that repeats itself, apparently, and I love it). A splendid day, blue sky and the wind was blowing over me and it felt so good... This time there are fewer buildings and for the most part there are minimalist/futuristic style houses, they are gray, black and white, elongated, huge glass panels, like rectangles arranged perpendicularly. They all have big gardens with perfect grass, swimming pools... and there is no delimitation between the lands. The ground is not flat, I see relief, small hills... People happily enjoy nature, some have barbecues, others read, play games and spend family time. While I'm flying, I wave some people and say Hi, friends!    and they look at me kind of strange, but some smile and others greet me too. The river this time looked more like a sea and had an exquisite light blue color, fresh and unpolluted. I asked to participate in the scene to go swimming at the sea. I always want to do the same thing, at first it made me mad because it's such an everyday thing, but analyzing it I think it has a deeper connotation, related to spirituality and my goals.

The Guiding Force gently placed me in one of the structures, now the context changes because I was in a kind of beautiful Greek temple, but I only visited the outside, a nice terrace, everything was white, stone tiles, huge vases with plants and many stairs with decorated railings... and the music of some drums could be heard all the time, like someone doing a ritual. Beautiful men and women seminude dressed in period clothing smile at me, but I don't interact with them, because there was something lustful about them... No thanks, I won't participate in the orgy LOL. I continue my way and walk until I found some stairs in the place that went down, so I went down, but immediately I had to go up again, and I went up, and then there was another one that went down again... to the supposed beach. But there was no beach! But a dark swamp, it was a reddish-brown river surrounded by plants, you could hear toads, crickets and all kinds of animals... and the drums that keep playing. When I looked down the stairs, there was the Void! But only a strip of it... and on the other side the swamp scene continued. I didn't know how I was going to cross it, since upon entering the Void everything would disintegrate, I think I should have flown over, but that option just wasn't in my head... Strange! I've never seen just a portion of Void dividing stages, something new. So, I decided to turn around and go back... Bad idea! Now everything faded away and I enter the Void.

Now in the Void I run to create movement and take the opportunity to ask a question... Why am I here, why am I incarnated on Earth, what is my purpose, what do I have to learn? But I don't receive a response, I feel like a lump in my throat and I return to my body immediately... It's okay! I can't know this now and I respect that, someday. I know we must learn lessons to evolve, I just wanted a more personalized response .

I find myself in my body, but I detach myself again, in the same way as before, and again I see everything black, now to see I employ some fun methods that occurred to me at that moment, such as "opening a zipper"  or cut with a dagger "the veil" with the intention of going to RTZ, it's not that I saw these objects, but I created the sensation... that did absolutely nothing    but after a while I start to see. Now the environment is not heavy, but I felt that I had the sleeping mask and the sound-canceling earmuffs in the astral too, so to speak, what was happening is that I continued feeling my physical body, that kind of uncomfortable bilocation, where I continue feeling the physical body and at the same time I move around the environment... I wanted to corroborate the number again, but when I went to look up the furniture it was worse, since this time there were two pieces of paper with numbers, one had number 4, but around it there were many other numbers written smaller, and the other one number 7 again (The real one was number 5 ).

I decided to go out the window and I enter the Void again, so I ask for help to see. At that moment I felt like I was with someone next to me, we talked about something, but I don't remember anything, that moment is confusing... I have the feeling that he teaches me something and he is an old friend of mine, with a crazy and insightful personality. His body is like static, like the moving microdots on television when there is no signal, but translucent, formless. I think my body looks the same, although at times I can't see the difference between mine and his, so I don't know who it belongs to really, then he left. The image appeared, but it was not the city, but something better! A huge lake surrounded by a gray concrete French railing and many restaurants, people boating, walking, eating and a lot of happiness around... The Guiding Force takes me now hovering over the water, which had a beautiful deep blue color.  I don't have a body now, I'm just a point of consciousness watching, floating. This time we are going very slowly, I asked if we could go faster, but we didn't, I felt like I should calm my anxiety and enjoy the ride, I was so happy.... And suddenly we entered a tunnel made of willow trees and all kind of vines, now the water that I see below is green, it was a wonderful forest... And on the sides of the road there were wooden benches on small floating islands over the water, with children sitting on them smiling happily and enjoying the surroundings. On the trees there are beautiful pink flowers, like the silk floss's tree... when I focus on them, they now turn into butterflies that fly away and I enter the hypnagogic state again, where these butterflies are now more geometric and colorful. I hear a wooosh! And I was back.

I wonder why it's so difficult to access RTZ. Ten years ago, I was able to do it with a strong intention, although after more than a year of constant practice I still couldn't always achieve it. I also wonder why I see everything black or gray when I detach from the body, since other people start to see their room and other scenes directly. According to what I read in William Buhlman's book, it could be a lack of awareness, but my awareness is such that I think I fell out of bed, I even doubted if I was sleepwalking at times. Well, I guess it will adjust over time, what is important here are the experiences themselves and the lessons learned. There are still many pieces missing from my puzzle!

That's nice, agree! Sometimes the mind and perspective condition our experiences more than circumstances and environment do by themselves. I was able to directly experience all this, six years ago I got tired of the city, the routine, work and my life in general, I even had panic attacks! So I decided to take my backpac, leave everything and follow my dream of traveling, I did it for four and a half years with money I had saved. It was wonderful! I met incredible people and lived extraordinary adventures... I never had worry, fear or uncertainty about "the future", in fact, I ended my trip with double the money I had left with, I knew what was right, I always trusted in God and in my Higher Self, I felt connected to something bigger that took care of me and I let that inner force always guide my path and I simply let myself go. 

It's impressive, even paranormal I would say, how the panorama was being built in the most perfect way. Every place I went to was beautiful, I got a job and met great people. It caught my attention that about 10 people along the way insisted that I should go to Uruguay, my neighboring country, I didn't know why... but I went. There I got a wonderful job in a small beach town, a tourist complex. I had already dreamed about this place and that I would live there for a while, but I didn't know where it was until I arrived, I had also dreamed about my ex-boyfriend before I met him for first time and I met him in this place. I really liked how the energy manifested through all these people to guide me there... I always tell people that while I was traveling I felt like I was in another dimension, in another reality... so different from the life we are used to (especially when I was in the mountains, I had many premonitory dreams and crazy experiences, the energy up there is explosive... I didn't want to go down ) How I miss that! I had to go back to my city, I make shorter trips now, but the magic hasn't been lost.

It's simply wonderful how all these energies begin to reveal themselves when we don't get in the way with these "but" or fears, but instead give them free rein to unfold freely and show their gifts before us.
I don't know if my dream is very wild, but I would like to have my own tourist complex in this same beach town, ecological, with domes perhaps, a space to connect with the spirit and for people to live just extraordinary days in connection with the forest, the sea and oneself... with a high viewpoint to observe the Milky Way and the "Noctilucas" at night (bioluminescent marine unicellular organism) and why not some UFOs, since it's a "hot spot" . Maybe it will come true, since I share this dream with many friends.

The other day I put on practice again to get into LD/AP from Hypnagogia, a new technique for me. But it was one of those days where no images appeared, sometimes my hypnagogias consist of a scene unfolds and conversations, but I keep seeing everything black, let's say the mind's printer ink cartridge is running out  . Sometimes these states can be very interesting, because I feel that another part of me is talking to other people who give me information (although I don't remember it later) but other times it's simply the entrance to a random dream without much meaning.

In this case the latter occurred and instead of maintaining awareness, for a moment I became involved in a situation and got lost. I heard people talking bad about me in the distance, however, that was what unleashed me to run semi-lucidly out of my physical body to look for them, and like the last time, I started running and running in the blackness, until I found one of those people and I saw the scene for a moment, we argued and then I ran away distressed into the blackness again. I actually didn't like how all this started so I wanted to find my body, but I didn't remember that just thinking about it I would be there, but I thought I had to look for it and get inside (things that happen  ) Well, finally after running a lot through imaginary passages in the blackness, I felt that I found my room, but I decided to stay a little more "out there" and I sit in a corner of the wall for a while to think, that made my awareness increase. But when I got in, I went into Sleep Paralysis and didn't wake up, and meanwhile I saw the scene of being in another room, not the real one. Suddenly some doctors came    and started doing different tests on me that I didn't understand, I saw two people, the main doctor who had a scrub cup, mask, glasses, latex gloves and apron, and I said wow! Is that outfit necessary? And a girl who was his apprentice. I was confused because I felt that other people were on the room, but I didn't see them, I only saw two. I tried to move hard to run and escape, but I couldn't! I got a little nervous, but I remembered that I had to be calm in these SP situations. The doctor with a flashlight examined my eyesight and asked me how my vision of the world was lately HAHA! I told them that very bad, really bad, when I opened my eyes everything began to look good, but then reality reached a conical point of convergence, where the widest part became into a small point at infinity and I saw absolutely nothing. The apprentice asked me if reality also seemed "electric" to me. I didn't understand what she meant, but I told her yes, it could be a little electric, why not? lol I don't know why I made this crazy analogy.

Actually, what I wanted to say is that I always had a hard time digesting the reality of the world, I was always very affected (and continues to be) by the world situation, war, the destruction of nature, injustice, poverty and heartless materialism. Over time and with my readings I learned that this is a school/evolutionary planet and this is just part of our development in awareness. Even so, it's still a bitter pill to swallow, but I know that a positive vision of the future is essential to generate that possible reality (and our grain of sand) although I didn't mention the latter.

Well, the doctor told me that that didn't sound good at all and that it had to be resolved urgently, so they all left me alone. I think I was in SP for about 30 more seconds and while I kept trying to detach myself from the body, roll, etc. But there was no case! I just couldn't. In fact, that same afternoon during a nap I had a spontaneous detachment without any problem, odd.
Suddenly a woman comes, the one in charge of solving "the vision problem" also with her apprentice, but at that moment we see a very funny situation through the window of the room (since I was elevated by some pillows) and we laugh a lot about it, that made the tension was released and I felt like I could trust them. But suddenly, I opened my eyes and I was here again, just that, since I was already in my physical body. I was also in a rather strange position, with my fists clenched and my arms under my back. All the time during SP I felt a lot of pain, this pressure of the weight on my arms, but in an exaggerated way, since when I returned I didn't feel so much discomfort. I found it strage since in general I don't feel much of my body in SP other than the sensation of not moving. Definitely a crazy SP experience for me (which I'm not very used to, since my thing is more LD).

I wonder if I have received the famous visit from the AST, I can't say for sure what that was all about, if so, it was very fun to see all this with the "oneiric custom"  the filter of human mind. 

This form of induction never ceases to surprise me, I 'll get on it.

Awesome and very useful information EV, thank you! I didn't know much of what you mentioned, you have clarified some things that I hope to be able to use profitably in my next tests.

Personally, I don't often see the geometric structures as you describe them; I see the environment and people as mostly multi-colored strings of energy, like long, thick and complicated bundles of wiring harnesses.

Sometimes I wonder why I see so many geometric patterns, I think it's my mind's particular way of translating/interpreting energetic planes or states of consciousness/thresholds right now. It can be funny and entertaining too! 

A few days ago, after this experience, I decided to reread the chapters of Stephen Laberge's book about "defeating nightmares" and "healing dreams" and do an exercise taught to lose fears by the psychologist Paul Tholey and the result was interesting. It consists of once you become aware in the dream, you have to find your most terrible fears or create a truly terrifying place (I imagine something like Pan's Labyrinth, for example) and overcome fear with Love. 

So I become aware and I'm in The Old Mansion (again) I look at my hands and count seven fingers, I laughed a lot! three times I counted them and the count always came to seven, even so, for me it seemed like a perfectly normal hand, then to increase awareness a little more I start playing with the light switch on the wall, turning on and off a huge old lantern hanging from the ceiling. Suddenly I see some stairs that descended to a really dark and scary place, I remembered the exercise and decided that it was a good opportunity to take courage. So I go to the stairs and start descending, I also created some creepy sounds to give more atmosphere. Now I'm in total darkness and it seems that I entered the Void, but I continued feeling the structure of the staircase, until I lose the holographic body, at least the lower part, I no longer had feet to go down, but I did have hands to hold on, although I don't see anything because it's all black... it's very difficult to go down, it takes too long, I lose patience and the atmosphere is increasingly "dense and viscous" so I decide to jump down the hole inside, since it's a spiral staircase. Now I have to hold on to the internal structures to go down, because it's difficult, at that moment I ask to go to the worst and darkest parts of my mind, to heal them, whatever comes my way, I would accept it with love and I would figure it out, I firmly held that intention as I went down. I was filled with courage and pure adrenaline, I wasn't afraid, but going down wasn't easy, until suddenly a force wants to make me ascend and I start going up like a helium balloon, but I want to continue going down so I hold on tighter and I continue my path towards the depth, it's like climbing a mountain, but in reverse or as if gravity were inverted.

Until suddenly, I don't know what happened... I find myself floating over a beautiful green field, I admire the fresh grass and the blue sky, and then a huge wave of white light covers me, I entered a state of deep peace and I was absorbed in many thoughts that I don't remember. I rested a little in that pleasant light until I decided to "fall asleep" and when I did, I woke up here in the physical body with a wonderful feeling, a "delicious brain-tingling" and the sensation of a warm hug in the heart that continues to last until now. My favorite experiences are those that bring these sensations to the physical, where it seems that "the door" remains open.

Well, I think the exercise was successful after all, even if I didn't have to defeat "any monsters". I guess taking courage was enough and healing at the same time, without needing to do much more. In my next fear test I hope I can remember all this, lift the torch of Love high, remember that it's probably just a simulation and that there is always an "emergency exit"  somewhere if I need it  .

Happy Holidays to everyone! Thank you for this incredible space that Astral Pulse is and its wonderful people I wish you all a year full of Interdimensional Travels and Dreams with many adventures! May Love and Light always fill your hearts.
Enjoy!

Hypnagogia: Something particular that frequently happens to me in this state is finding myself looking at my room, as if in real time, but with my eyes closed, that is, looking at the ceiling fan, the window curtains, or just looking out the window! The panoramic view of the city. I really couldn't tell if I'm really seeing this reality in real time while I'm lying down or it's just a hologram of hypnagogia... I can only say that it's just like being with your eyes open here right now, even with the same lighting of the moment. I wonder what it will be.

I still hadn't been able to induce my experience because I was in and out of hypnagogia for almost an hour. I open my eyes, look at the clock, it's 6:10 am and decided to give it another chance, as something particular happened... Just by closing my eyes, my vision was filled with beautiful geometric patterns and three-dimensional shapes, I had to take advantage of that! I close my eyes and as if diving into the water, I sink into. I quickly reach a deep state and this time I decided to try something else, play music! In this physical world I don't even play the triangle, but I love playing frequencies in the NP. I did it louder and louder and I loved it, while having fun with the patterns. Until at one point I couldn't feel my body anymore, and I did something I had never done before in my life, I decided to get up and run! As simple as that. "It's time! Let's go" I said. So I ran away from the body, I didn't feel any detachment, vibrations or anything. Yes, I had entered into lucid dreams from  hypnagogia, not frequently, but occasionally, and sometimes after returning from a LD/AP I can easily detach myself again, but I never left the body directly from the very beginning. I know that most of you do and I always greatly admired that, it seemed very complicated to achieve for me, but after this experience I'm carefully analyzing the steps to be able to do it again. I'm surprised with the naturalness that everything happens, I think it's because we all know how to do this, before coming to Earth we were there, so now we just have to remember, relearn what we already know.

Well, but as usual, I entered the Void. I realized that I had a kind of sheet on my head, very upset! And I took it off (it's happened to me before and I don't know why, I remember reading it in William Buhlman's book) I ask for help to see (it's the way I'm finding for the first time in 10 years to get out of the Void) Then I saw... but it wasn't my house! It was another apartment, and I thought maybe I was on vacation and didn't remember, sometimes I'm surprised to remember so little of physical life. I walked around the kitchen and came out through a door, I was looking for myself... and I see my physical body sleeping in an sofa, more or less covered. I was going to go out the window, as usual, I wanted to look for a more fun place, like a beach, but first I wanted to take a good look at my physical body, to lose my fear of it (why would I be afraid of my body? maybe that strange feeling that seems we just died  ) But to my delight and surprise, I felt tenderness, as if I saw a little girl, I love myself very much  . I sent myself a lot of love and wanted to caress my hair, but I didn't have hands! I was just a hazy transparent energy in the air. When I tried to do it, it seemed to me that the body moved, I thought that if the body woke up, so would I. I left quickly.

When I go out the window I see everything black again! The Void? But this time it was different, there was a kind of big net, made of linear patterns, green and yellow of irregular polygons, the union of their intersections was through small spheres and everything had undulating movement. I didn't understand what was happening, I was confused and I lost my holographic human body, now I was a point of consciousness... so I asked for help, I didn't know what to do (I have to stop that mania of going out of windows when I'm exploring on my own, since in 80% of cases, there is nothing but the Void, for me windows are like portals, and I still don't know how to use them well) someone invisible takes me flying, I get back into my holographic human form again, we descend, and place me in front of an iron door. Thank you for the help! I open the door and find a huge hallway, it was very dark and only illuminated with red lights, scary. There were huge number signs that said 208, 209, 210...etc. in white, (the numbers were perfect and never fluctuated or changed) they were like rooms... The doors to the rooms were transparent and I could see inside triangular glass plates arranged in different ways, odd. I didn't like that place because it seemed spooky to me, like the maze of terror lol. Then I ran down the corridor, at the bottom there was a door, where suddenly a woman came out, so I flew to the ceiling and there I lost my holographic human form to become a mass of energy again, she didn't see me, I tried to say "hello"  telepathically, because I realized that I had no voice and couldn't speak, but she didn't perceive anything, and she left. I decide to leave through the same door that she entered, but when I open the door I re-enter this Void of irregular polygons net, I asked for help, but this time no one came, I used a lot of energy to manifest myself again somewhere else, but I was exhausted and I couldn't, so I'm back.

Something curious, when I woke up I looked at the clock and it was 6:45 am... about 35 minutes had passed, I never lost awareness at any time, and yet for me no more than 12 minutes would have passed, I felt it was a short experience, but it took quite a while! It's also the first time that I document in chronological time an experience from beginning to end. Interesting!

Since I always analyze my mistakes a little, I think that if I was placed in that gloomy place, I should have explored it properly and not wanted to flee out the door. As you will see, sometimes they take me to wonderful environments and others not so nice. I have to get used to everything! Working on fear, above all, I think that is why they didn't help me in the last instance, otherwise I wouldn't have realized that running out the door wasn't correct. I have to stop escaping from problems and look for nice places, at least for now . 

This experience started out a little complicated, I woke up to practice, but I felt very exhausted and had an extreme headache, I still decided to try, but my mind was a whirlwind, I couldn't concentrate, it took me three hours! Luckily I started at 4 am. so I had plenty of time... and when I was about to give up, I went to the bathroom for the last time, went back to bed, then continue with the breathing and the induction makes the beautiful explosion...

Hypnagogia: I feel love in my heart, a recharge of energy, my head no longer hurts, I feel great, and I begin to see spots of many colors splashing over me, I feel united with a greatest strenght, I'm no longer alone in my mind . ...then there are brush strokes on a white canvas, beautiful plants full of flowers begin to emerge from a golden pot. I particularly remember a painting of red, green and blue mosaics, the colors change from one mosaic to another and form drawings of happy people in a park. I also see figures of trees, brown trunks and their crowns made with many light blue cubes that are breaking off. I begin to see all kinds of abstract figures with very complex textures of infinite colors, impossible to describe and I travel through tunnels made of those same shapes curved, I lose awareness.

I regain awareness and I'm looking out the window of my house at a beautiful sunset, I see a giant orange super moon. I feel euphoria and decided to go fly so I climb on the window and jump. I'm taken by the Guiding Force to a walk through my city, but another version of it! We go to the south side. When I become aware, two things can happen: Either I have complete freedom of movement, or I'm taken by this Guiding Force "for a walk" through a specific environment, without having control of the experience. This is new to me, since ten years ago it only happened to me once, where the Guiding Force took me from Earth at full speed, taking me on an incredible interspace ride... passing through planets, nebulae and ending in a black Void without stars, where I saw in the distance all the galaxies together, as I moved further and further away, were concentrated in a small luminous point. I didn't understand what was happening, or why, and the truth is... yes, it scared me, but it was amazing! I pray for another walk like this right now  .

I see the river with a beautiful light blue color, splendid and unpolluted, the sky is pink and violet with fluffy golden clouds and there is a lot of vegetation, a refreshing breeze revitalizes my soul while I'm flying. Suddenly I see many families walking around, getting out of their cars to see the sunset. The Guiding Force now brings me closer to a family getting out of their truck, no one can see me, but one of the girls who was about eight years old does. I greeted her and she hesitates to do it, as if her parents would think she was crazy waving in the air, but in the end she does, and smiles at me, I could see she lost some baby teeth. No one paid attention to her so now she greets me jumping with enthusiasm, as I flew away. The place was like a viewpoint, with a reddish path and a stone wall. I still see many families walking through the place, it was really beautiful, the city was no longer there and it was all forest and nature! With that immense moon crowning the landscape. I turned around to greet the people and looked at my hands, they were perfectly normal, I counted all my fingers and they looked perfect, usually when I look at my hands in LD I see strange and holographic things, but not when I'm being carried by the Guiding Force, all is perfect. I was nervous because I didn't want to wake up, that place was incredible and I was happy happy... but obviously that thought brought me back, you should never think about returning to the body! You have to forget that you have a body and get completely involved into the scene, a few seconds later I'm back...thought response, thought response!    But I induce another experience.

Now in my physical body... I only have my head tied to my body, the rest is in the air, but I can't detach... so I let go, but I lose awareness.

I regain awareness and now I'm at home again, I go to my balcony, I live on a very high floor with a wide view of the city, so I stand on the railing and decide to fly! When I jump I'm taken again by the Guiding Force but this time we go to the east side, where the river is. We are flying a little fast and I know that I must concentrate on all the possible details, it's a practical exercise that I do... Well, the landscape was my city but another version of it again, with absolute hyperrealism. My building and those around are the same, but I also see all kinds of European-style structures from the 1800's, and then they turned into surreal buildings of different colors, which had murals painted with all kinds of animals, they were incredible! It reminded me the city of Valparaíso in Chile. There were trees around and a lot of vegetation. Furthermore, the buildings didn't end straight but with strange shapes, domes and rounded peaks, in various groups, etc. I wanted to remember a specific mural in my memory, because there were hundreds, and I saw a rabbit smoking a pipe painted on a building LOL! I felt like I was in Adventure Time, the cartoon, and I laughed a lot! The river looked blue and splendid, with pure water... and not as it really is, contaminated. I want to participate in the scene now, so I ask the Guiding Force for permission (if I don't do this and directly jump into the scene, or when passing by somewhere I touch something, like a plant, a person, etc. everything will fade away... Look and don't touch! That's the rule, until you officially land in an area, I don't know why)

I 'm gently placed at the base of these colorful buildings with my arms outstretched as if someone is holding me, but I don't feel or see anyone. I discover that I'm in a kind of amusement park, there is music and families with their children walking everywhere, it was a great place! Inside, the walls are still colored with murals of animals. I continue exploring and I meet a little blonde girl at the end of the path (I always interact with children!) I look at her face and she is beautiful, then comes her sister, a red-haired girl, her eyes were green, crystalline, two porcelain dolls! I gave them both a hug and told them that they are very loved, I don't know why. I continue walking through this place but I'm no longer very focused on the scene and I was completely absorbed by a thought, totally abstracted within my consciousness looking at a fixed point... when I realized I was being carried in the air by the Guiding Force, coming back. We had already passed all the colored buildings and I didn't even notice them, when I realized what was happening, we were already in the part of the buildings from 1800, I remember a very beautiful white one, it looked like a French embassy with curved balconies. I start to see my building again, we were going straight back to my balcony... Nooo, I didn't want to go back! My mistake here was disconnecting from the scene, I should have participated in the games and talked to the people, but I think my mind was a little tired. It's essential to be movement and involvement with the environment, at least for me.

Back in my physical body, I didn't want to go back so soon... and I don't know how I did it but I detached myself, first I sat up and then I bent and slid gently across the bed like a boa coming down from a tree and I was lying in the floor... it was a very pleasant feeling. I have no human form, I'm now a very volatile mass of energy, like a point of consciousness floating and surrounded by an "electrical force field". I floated towards the ceiling looking down, but I see everything black, I asked for help to see... I said I want to see my physical body... I'm now between the blades of the ceiling fan... and I can see! And yes it's me... but three months ago!    lying in bed sleeping, I'm wearing my winter pajamas (in this part of the globe is almost summer now) At that moment I felt a strong beating of my heart, I was a little scared, but I calmed down. The image seemed very distant, as if the ceiling was about twenty feet high. I didn't hear my breathing like the last time I saw my body ten years ago, but I did hear all the sounds of the city very loudly, horrible. Suddenly I start to lose vision and everything turned black again, I start screaming all my a awareness at me now! Repeatedly, as William Buhlman says, but it didn't work, I need more practice. Now I entered the hypnagogic state again and I see a pattern of geometric shapes, concentric eggs/eyes with red, blue, white and black tones very strong, dancing electrically. I'm back.

There is still a lot to adjust! but every day of practice there is a step forward  . 

Escape Velocity, I really value your reflections and analysis, they are excellent! It's very good to broaden perspectives through the eyes of other people. Thank you so much!

In test environments such as these, dark and gloomy streets and cities are not generally negative energy- they are dark to limit distractions and help keep you focused on the task at hand. On the other hand, some dark and gloomy environments in the Astral are negative for good reason, such as the F22 and hellish regions. This is where your intuition should give you a noticeable "feel" about the relative safety of the place. This is where Feeling is every bit as important as Thinking...if it feels bad, dangerous or untrustworthy, it probably is.

About this lesson, in my case I don't think I have been in lower astral regions, I just lost my composure a little! I think it was a question of thought response, thinking those guys would get angry, they did. I should have faced them and not run away from the problems. And even less jumping into a dark hole, as you say, descending implies this same action in awareness and that's why I lost it for a few moments.

A while ago a similar test happened, but worse, I was exploring an old train station, and when I opened one of the train cars, it was full of black panthers. I petted one, I felt the soft fur and its heat, but when I thought "I shouldn't be doing this, they are dangerous animals".... all the panthers started chasing me aggressively, OMG how scared I was! It was horrible, I ran a lot. But I decided to confront them and turned into a bigger, wilder and more ferocious animal, this intimidated them a little, but not too much. Until something else occurred to me, I turned everyone into puppies who ran next to me, we ended up hugging each other, hanging around the floor and laughing out loud. I liked Stephen Laberge's book where he says that "monsters" must be "faced with love" it's very healing! I hope I can remember it next time.

Who needs to go to therapy after all this? LOL. Cool!

I wonder that the Hindu temple gradually morphed into a truly significant vision of our Higher Self that Monroe referred to as his I/There and Moen referred to it as his Disk and Members, the ideas describing a "collective" of related awarenesses/lives that we are all part of.

How nice is your reflection about the vision of the plant and the Higher Self. I hadn't realized all that, wonderful! My vision was very similar to the flower of the Mimosa plant, even the colors are the same (but it is not aquatic as it seemed to me).



In another thread we were all talking a lot about feeling alone, the sense of not belonging here, and the difficulty of adapting, how many times have I felt that. When I look at this flower now, I remember this beautiful feeling of being like a cell of the Great Cosmic Organism, and how our development collaborates in the constitution of a greater Whole, as if each person were those filaments. I liked the analogy with this flower, as I like to imagine consciousness coming out of the Source/Higher Self and extending through even the densest dimensions. And at the end of the filament the physical, which seems so distant from the center, but in reality has never been "disconnected".

The hypnagogic state is surprising. But it's not something I'm controlling at will, for now, It's spontaneous and when it happens it's amazing. Many times I spend almost an hour going in and out of hypnagogia, because instead of going deeper, I wake up with a kind of "electric shock" throughout all my body, a spasm    as if they hit me with the defibrillator LOL.

Sometimes that also happens on this state is what I call "dreaming in black" there are no images, but a scene develops, for example, I was in a bar with friends, eating something delicious and having an entertaining conversation... but there weren't images! All in black. But I guess one little move and I could enter The Void.
And yet, sometimes just by closing my eyes, and without much effort, I begin to have all kinds of visuals dancing before my mind's eye. I still don't know how this works well.

In my opinion I think all the scenarios of my dreams unfold in the Void itself. That is, it's as if the Void were a canvas, a base, on which I can generate these projected holograms that are the scenery of my experiences. This seems to me to be so because some places that I explore have an end... they fade until I only see the infinite blackness, or when I open doors or windows there is the Void. As if my sets were floating islands in the blackness (simulations). And when in the middle of a LD I "think" that I have vision problems, it's actually the hologram that is fluctuating and not me. Well at least that's what it seems to me so far in some cases! Maybe later I'll think differently.

I wish I got a sign like that! Astral Park This Way--->  LOL!

The fun moments are never lacking, one of the things I enjoy most about this   

[A lucid dream with an unexpected twist]

A lucid dream with an unexpected twist 

I would like to mention that at the moment I'm not manipulating my lucid dreams too much, I'm letting them run their course and flow with them. I let the context unfold and take an active role in the background. That's why it can all seem a little "delirious" and fun at the moment. Something that always catches my attention is how our NP personality changes, I have attitudes that I would not have physically!

 
Well, I start by inducing the experience with a little phasing... (I take a few deep breaths and do a personal visualization)

Hypnagogia: I begin to see gray textures on a black background, they looked like horses but they were turning into all kinds of things. I also see a background of pink and black bubbles that move in an undulating way, now becoming thick curved lines, everything is three-dimensional. Now I see a beautiful Hindu temple, with gold walls all worked and with a thousand details, there are inlays of sapphires and other gems and then some golden faces begin to emerge in the form of layers, as if it were a kind of Hindu god. Its amazing!

Then I saw beautiful bright pink filaments, like a kind of aquatic plant, growing from a small point in the center from which many long lines grow. I feel like someone told me in my head, you are doing well! And I'm surprised, but I don't want to get distracted, I continue. I also see a liquid silver tunnel through I travel for a few moments and then the famous piece of shiny fabric made of colored strips, green, orange, yellow, perhaps some blue, that I usually see in this state, moving in an undulating way. I lost awareness.

I become aware again, now in the LD, and get out of bed, I was in the room of an old place sleeping, I decide to go out into the street walking along the sidewalk and it was night, suddenly I see a kind of carnival! Like the one in Rio, Brazil. Everyone was dressed as beings of nature and their clothes were made of colorful plants and flowers, very beautiful and striking. The music was very fun and I dance happily with them, celebrating that I'm in a lucid dream! that was good to release the euphoria of the beginning. Although I get bored and decide to continue, but I begin to be absorbed by the Void, everything turned black and I know that I must create movement to return to the scene, so I begin to pedal, walk or even ski in the blackness and I enter into the stage again. 

I appear on a dark and gloomy street, very similar to the place where I usually vacation (but the real one is nice) all was closed and there were no people around. I begin to walk and explore, one of the few open places was a kind of stand where they sold stones, candles, incense burners and all those spiritual stuffs, attended by an old man with long hair, like a magician. I didn't go near him because I had to climb some stairs and I felt lazy to do it (now I regret not having done it, because of the symbolism that entails). Then I remember that a good way to increase awareness is by the five senses, as I read in Xanth's book, so I decide to chew bubble gum lol but I get bored and in a childish way, I ball up the gum and throw it at some guys there. I don't know why I did that! A funny crazy moment... it wasn't a good idea, those dream characters got very angry, really, and started chasing me, I felt very scared! In danger, I felt like they had a gun even though I didn't see it. I ran and ran, until I ended up laughing for having lost control of my own dream and decided to throw myself into a black hole in the ground "to save my life". I fell violently into a white plastic structure that became more and more ethereal, as if passing through layers, membranes and I lost awareness.

Then I become aware again and this time I'm on a kind of beautiful Boulevard and I want to explore it, it seemed very minimalist, but I loved the fine decoration, there were practically no people there, and then I got into an elevator. I enter a place where they sell beautiful pieces of art and fine sculptures, but something unusual occurs to me, I want to see how similar to the physical plane it would be to destroy those materials, listen to the sound and see they reaction when they are broken. So I start breaking everything! I experimented with various materials such as glass, metal, stone and wood. One of the destroyed sculptures was a beautiful and enormous crystal fountain made of pure glass, I must have done it with ten different sculptures, and the result was fascinating, everything was very hyperrealistic, both the fragments scattered on the floor and the sound, except one, which should have sounded like stone, but it sound more like a tin can. This destructive behavior caught the attention of some dream characters who began to ask me why I was doing that, I told them that I'm experimenting with different materials to see their reaction in the non-physical. I leave this place and decide that I don't want to fly or walk to get around, I feel exhausted, so I hope to find some kind of vehicle and a little girl appears with a white bicycle, I laughed so much! It wouldn't help me. So I keep looking and I find some kind of bumper car LOL, well, better than nothing... (I still can't create elements from nothing, but I find them along the way as I need them).

I'm starting to go very fast! Until I see that I'm heading straight for a wall, but I can't turn! I don't know how to do it, there is no steering wheel. I remember that nothing will happen so I go through this wall, it was light orange with beautiful bright pink organic drawings. I start to feel like I'm going through layers, colors, geometric shapes, I feel like I'm entering into another state and it's confusing. 

But I ended up going out to a very beautiful city, it was night and I looked at the buildings around me, it was wonderful! I felt absolute peace, harmony and I breathed the humid freshness of the night dew. As I look better I realize that the buildings were all the same, cream and white and seemed to be made of foam rubber and styrofoam, embedded and with a certain edible texture, I laughed a lot at this!

Then I walk through the city and I meet two bohemian street musicians, they ask me if I knew a good place to play music in the city and make some money and I told them that this was my dream and there was no point in doing that, they told me that they already knew and one asked me if I was 9 years old, I told him no, I am 33, a little embarrassed! but I laughed, and attributed that comment to the almost edible structure of the buildings around and told him that it had been a long time since I practiced, that's why they weren't perfect, before I could create better scenarios, I know I can do better!

When I looked around I was walking with a group of people and I felt a lot of connection with them, pure love, I felt like they were "my tribe." I hugged a girl next to me and told her that I would like to see them again, she told me that it was not possible, I asked her why and she told me that they were a kind of collective mind that traveled in community beyond dimensions, an elemental primary energy of the mind, in cluster, all organized by my instructors, who were in charge of my simulations in lucid dreams, "two golden orbs" and that is why I could speak intelligently with them, since if I paid attention to the other dream characters, they were empty. I asked if those orbs were my guides, she said yes. I tried to get more information, but it was difficult, the girl became more nervous, and said that she was not allowed to speak. I asked her if they are going to be reabsorbed into my own consciousness or if they were external beings, she told me that she wasn't allowed to answer that question (when I ask things in my lucid dreams they are very direct with me, they tell me "that information is not available/I have not permission to respond/you can't know it yet.") I didn't insist.

Then the scene begins to disintegrate and everything goes black, as if entering the Void. I'm inside a dark structure, where all the elements are black and only the contours are reflected, I see a metal spiral staircase also black with a sign that said "To The Park after Death" (I don't know why it was in English, if I'm a Spanish speaker, funny) There were two people, guarding the entrance.

I said this is my chance to see the famous Focus 27 Park for the first time! Will it really be an invitation? (All my life it was a dream to visit that place, but I don't have access, I can't get there. However, throughout my life in my lucid or non-lucid dreams I have visited forests of pure ecstasy, physical and mental regeneration, where I have had experiences that transcend everything I known, I have even been cured of physical ailments, but its always spontaneous. I don't know if it will be the same Park).

Wow the climb was really long and I felt exhausted, I lost my holographic body, I was now a mass of energy and I had no legs to climb. There were some people on the middle floor and it seemed to me that the stairs didn't continue any further, so I asked if they continued and they told me to keep going up because there were more floors, so don't give up! Upon reaching the top floor I regain my holographic human form and see huge glass panels, it was The Void behind them! all black, they were very clean and polished. I realized that they were very thick glasses, like those armored ones. There was no Park! But I find a door through the glass panels, I open it and go down by a wooden path through the blackness that leads to some kind of small cabin, I open the door and it was a small office! Full of papers, very messy, eighties style, all that makes me nervous, since I'm a very orderly person.

There I see a blonde woman with short hair and light eyes, I know her! She is the one who sometimes appears in some lucid dreams to help me develop skills, for example in The Old Mansion, another LD, she taught me to communicate telepathically and avoid using my voice. She was in front of a machine issuing some invoices, printing them, they were yellow and huge, made of very thin paper. In the end I decided to sit down because I had to wait, but very daring, I did it in front of the desk as if I were the boss, with my arms crossed and even with my legs on the table, like a rebellious teenager   I don't know what was going on with me that day.

Suddenly a woman comes through the door, I had never seen her before but she had an air of authority, I asked what that place was and why I was there. She told me that from there they observed everything I did in lucid dreams, my progress and behavior, that everything was written down, studied, filed and those yellow invoices that kept printing corresponded to everything I had destroyed in the art gallery. I told them yes, I had really made a mess in that store, but it was to experiment with textures. Now the woman began to speak to me in another language, this is common in some experiences, I'm learning to absorb concepts from the conversation for this reason. She told me that I had had very destructive behavior and I needed to reflect on it, and this attitude in the past was what led me to have stomach problems in my physical life (and it's true). I couldn't believe we were talking about my physical life problems now! Really? No way!   I told her I only did it because I'm spontaneous and I want to experiment, that's who I am. I was embarrassed by this whole situation! (No one judges us, they simply want us to realize for ourselves our mistakes to grow) I asked her if everything I had broken was going to cost a lot and she told me not to worry because this time it was "at the company's expense."

In the end she said she had to go, she had already finished there and had a busy schedule, she came next to me, gave me a kiss and a hug with a lot of love! She greeted the other girl with a gesture, and told me that I could stay there a little longer if I needed or return to my physical body, it was my decision. I decided to return to my body to write everything down and reflect. Also, I saw a clock that said 12:30 pm and it seemed to me that it was already very late (It was digital but I saw it perfect, since I read that it is difficult to see numbers in LD, it is not my case) but in the physical it was 8:30 am. And it was only two hours into the entire experience. 

I entered the Void and floated for a while before returning and I was seeing a white kitten in the distance, like a new dream that wanted to born, I woke up. 

Could they be these two instructors, the two golden orbs mentioned, seen through the filter of the mind? Who also densify their energetic body to create hands that take us out of our body? For now I know that it's not my place to know, just be receptive and continue learning. 

I really wonder how many are INFJs here, too? Would love to know if anyone did the test too. I would assume a few more INFJs round here.

Interesting test

INFJ
Introvert(75%)  iNtuitive(19%)  Feeling(28%)  Judging(6%)

You have distinct preference of Introversion over Extraversion (75%)
You have slight preference of Intuition over Sensing (19%)
You have moderate preference of Feeling over Thinking (28%)
You have slight preference of Judging over Perceiving (6%)

No children! Xanth and Lightbeam have told the exact reason, it's exactly how I feel. Since I was a child, I knew it very well. It makes me nervous to think that someone else will depend on me to survive or be happy. I love being alone, introspection, reading, meditating, make art, work from home. I love silence, sometimes I'm wearing sound-canceling earmuffs around the house  . Although I also have my counterpart, I love traveling for months as a backpacker and meeting people from all over the world, and spending days in the mountains until the food runs out and drinking from the waterfalls (alone or with friends) is what I enjoy most on Earth! I consider myself a Free Spirit, I don't like someone depending on me, it's just me and my crazy things.

I know I have a lot of love to give to the world and many desires to help, this world is a mess and needs a lot from us. I always do what I can for those who need it, but not in the familiar way. 

I really admire those who have children! They have truly sacrificed a part of their lives for Love. One of my best friends recently had her baby and it was 14 hours of labor, 40 hours without sleeping, wow... a warrior, I couldn't. She is a very sweet girl and at only two months old she has a very deep look, I know she is an advanced Soul and I'm happy to be a kind of aunt to her! In fact, before she was born, she was the one who woke me up in a lucid dream and took me by the hand through a door where I entered the Void, and I wonder if we had really met on a higher plane. I saw her as a five year old girl, very beautiful.

Thank you very much Nameless, it's a pleasure to have your comment here and I'm very glad that you enjoyed my writing  . Laughter is welcome! You don't know how much I laugh at my experiences myself... both when I write them and when I live them. And not to mention lucid dreams, the other day I ripped a leaf off a plant and ate it, just to play with textures and flavors lol.

These frequencies in the air are a wonderful and new thing for me, they appeared when an invisible force began to direct some of my incursions, at the same time I feel entering a pure state, it's like being a child again. It's very healing and best of all, it's brought to the physical body.

And in relation to the ambient vibrations, on one of those outings, I managed to float out of the window of my room, but everything was black (I said "clarity now!" But this doesn't work for me) when I went outside, I noticed that the blackness was less dense because it was daytime, since I felt as if the sun was illuminating my "closed eyelids", that was weird. But although I couldn't see, I could hear, and very well... too much I would say, to the point that all the sounds of the city seemed completely deafening. I was stunned by the cars, the buses, and above all the constructions and their machines, I had to return to my body for that, it was unbearable. 
In the physical I had the sound-cancelling earmuffs on, and my windows closed tightly, therefore I couldn't hear that construction. Only when I went out to my balcony I could perceive a very distant construction, but when I went out the window in the obe I felt like the construction was over my head! I have taken it as a verification. The sound amplification was incredible.

In my opinion, I think there are more interesting things than RTZ, but I want to see my body again, since the last time I did it, 10 years ago, I went into shock, in absolute panic... this didn't bring me back to my body! On the contrary, I cried next to it, I felt like I had died even though I heard the breathing, and I apologized for all my self-destructive behaviors of the past, I felt that that body had made an enormous effort for this Soul to advance a little further on the Path... it was quite a catharsis! But it was traumatic, I have a deep love and respect for my body.
I feel like I must face that again, maybe I'm the one who self-blocks my vision. It's incredible how despite having read books, facing the truth directly has no comparison. It's definitely not like looking yourself at the mirror, nor a hologram in LD, it's simply unique. I think it's something very basic that must be overcome and understood.

I'll continue working hard on it   

Hello Astral Pulse! I will share my progress, reflections and problem solving here. I have already mentioned it, but for greater detail, I would like to give a small introduction, 12 years ago I learned the technique of lucid dreams and from them, how to transfer my consciousness to the dense energy body in order to detach myself from my physical body.

Maybe I have had a period of two or three years of activity, but more than anything in the practice of lucid dreams and recreating physical scenes with the greatest possible hyperrealism, that was my goal. Everything was perfect, flavors, textures, colors, smells... A whole Matrix! Regarding the APs, when I detached myself from my physical body, I was left floating in the Void and with many problems.

The reality is that I feel that in that period I was just playing and experimenting, I never managed to control my emotions, and I had many fears, that's why I stopped practicing. Today, in a more mature and committed stage of my life, I use this wonderful gift that has been given to all human beings, as a tool for personal growth and self-discovery, to transcend a little the human experience and the illusion of holograms (solid structures) that surround us and break the established conditioning that has made us partly forget our true universal identity.

I will not follow an exact chronological order, but rather I will share what I consider most relevant, I don't want to bore you. I'm not yet living great adventures! I'm in a period of practice and adjustment, trial and error. Stopping practicing was not good, it's like repeating the year at school again, it's easier but still demands discipline and new requirements.


Some "detachment" sequences:
-Suddenly I become aware, and I perceive myself half outside my body and half inside, I see everything black around me, I think I'm in the Void, I have no human form, I'm a kind of "energy worm" that moves in a serpentine way underwater, I hear a wonderful music, I feel a sensation of fullness... I decide to go out, but I can't, so I ask for help, I feel an invisible force that takes me out of there, but I remain disoriented in the blackness, upside down perhaps, but I get my bearings. All the time I feel a kind of "music" around me, they are frequencies and vibrations, it's like mantras, sounds, chimes, "angelic chants"? These frequencies are incredible, healing, they make me feel very good, they revitalize me and I wonder what they are. I try with all my might to project myself into RTZ, to feel myself there, I start to see the door frame, and I start to get very nervous, I was achieving it... I feel the heartbeat of the physical body increasing a lot, too much, since my connection is partial, I know I should calm down but it's difficult. For some reason I'm now petrified, I can't move anymore, I know I should apply thought + intention, but intention was lacking, I only thought about moving, this is not enough for me, there must be will. I return to the physical body.

Note: This return to the body so soon is something new that didn't happen ten years ago. When I left the body there was no turning back easily, I even once had seven false awakenings in a row, one of the biggest scares of my life, I couldn't go back even if I tried. I was already waiting for a guide to come for me so I could go to the "other side" lol. I think that many times it may be due to a lack of total awareness or that in reality my physical body is not completely relaxed and can wake up very easily. I know that thinking about our body or having an emotional shock can easily bring us back, but in the past this didn't happen, so I think maybe it has to do with brain chemistry, I still don't know.

-This time, I find myself trying to get out of the body, making swinging movements, but from front to back, and not sideways, but like a hammock, it gets stronger and stronger! Faster! I start to hear some kind of music, frequencies, it's the best sound in the world, I feel ecstasy, I start to see colors, spots, a synesthesia... OMG this is great! I see everything black around me, except for these colors, I think I'm in the Void, I no longer care about leaving the body, this state is incredible, although I don't even know what I'm doing. Suddenly I feel that a hand grabs me and squeeze me very hard! I think they injected something into my arm, the pain is strong. I ask them to please relax a little and it doesn't hurt anymore, they are ready to take me out, but I tell them that I want to be like that today "between worlds" and I woke up... obviously after the return I regretted it. Maybe my NP assistants thought I was having some trouble separating from the body, but no, it was just me doing crazy things as always, who knows.

Notes: Now I have left a card on a tall furniture, to have a focus, an intention if I separate from my body, since I perceive a lot of confusion when leaving, I'm nervous and somewhat disoriented. But I think directing your intention somewhere easy is a good start. It doesn't really matter if I get to see the real card someday.

To go from Lucid Dreaming to a separation from the body, in the past I did the following:
In the lucid dream I lay on the floor, and I felt myself in my energy body, when I realized, I was in my physical body with the vibrations and I rolled to the side, I fell to the floor but I was in the Void, not in RTZ. There was a notable increase in awareness.

When I was able to project to RTZ I did it in the following way, in the lucid dream I made a very big jump, and I screamed with a strong intention "I want to go to RTZ!" and I appeared stuck to the ceiling of the room... seeing my physical body lying in bed and listen the strong breathing was a terrible shock for me. It's not something easy for me, although it may sound so simple.


In this new stage of practice this separation is happening spontaneously most of the time, but on occasions in the lucid dream I screamed "I want to feel my expanded being", I don't know why I said that, but suddenly I was spinning like a log outside of my body towards my room. I saw everything black, but I could perceive the furniture by touching it, all the textures, the tiles and the plaster, the bed... The most incredible thing, I found things from ten years ago by touch! The computer table still had wheels, when we had removed them, there were four lamps instead of three on the ceiling fan, and my old speakers were there too! I also felt joints of structures that are impossible to detect visibly, the floor would have to be broken, I notice a slight curvature when the floor of my room and the wall meet. Well, it was fun!

However, I'm doing the exercise of letting the experience flow, without modifying it, I'm not intending at this moment to leave the body when I have lucid dreams (we are supposed to be outside, although there are very realistic hypnagogic states where I feel that I have not separated from the body). And I try to apply the technique that Xanth teaches in his book, about simply increasing awareness to move to a higher frequency... And it really works! But if I spontaneously find myself in a situation of separating from the body, I think I must have a strategy. However, I have already realized that this notion of separation is not so important, since what travels is consciousness, to where the intention is established, but it's a state that requires certain management and is still fascinating and interesting to explore and learn to control.
I'm still learning!

 
Thanks for this space
Kind regards,
Tak ♥~
 

Thank you very much Escape Velocity! For the contribution, it's helpful and inspiring. I was reading some of Kurt Leland's experiences on his blog and I really loved it. I like his writing style, it's engaging and fluid, and how at the end he analyzes his own symbolic interpretations of what he has seen. I haven't had time to read them all yet.

The topic of simulations responds very accurately to my personal stage at this moment, and I feel that for the first time I'm being "properly prepared" to explore someday the higher astral, as you suggest, in this matter of first being able to control/understand/heal our deepest emotions and thoughts, limitations and human conditioning, which prevent us from moving freely towards broader areas of consciousness, and what is necessary in the process.

I loved reading Kurt's 2012 post on preparing souls before reincarnation. That reminded me a lot of a hyper-realistic semi-lucid dream I had a few months ago, where I was a little girl in a beautiful forest and I would attend a school with many children. The realism of the dream was surprising, as I could feel the hot sand under my feet in the areas where the sun was shining, but in the shade the sand felt cold, the textures, the smell of the forest and its colors, the peace... everything was wonderful and I wanted to live there forever and in that moment I remembered I had been there many times. The school was a small cabin, but upon entering its proportions were enormous and there were hundreds of children like me and several teachers to assist the different groups. My class was the development of creativity and we had to paint abstract paintings with many different materials. When a teacher approached to me, I was afraid that she would tell me that I was doing it wrong, but on the contrary, with love, she showed me how I could better develop my creative skills and so I did it, it was wonderful! I suppose those are the famous "sleeping classes" of which I already have many in my repertoire, as many members here.

The mention of "Shadow people/Shades" also caught my attention, beings whom I encountered in my first spontaneous forays at the age of 16 before having read anything about the subject and barely understanding what was happening (and recently I saw them). I still don't quite understand who they are, if they were human or not, etc. And from what I read, he talks about that in his books, it would be good to understand a little more, if possible.

And now in relation to the "clicks" it happened to me many years ago, is really disconcerting! Like you say, I think that we are constantly processing new information and learning at a higher level that we are often not aware of. In fact, practicing phasing, I often find myself in a semi-awareness hypnagogic state reading a book and turning the pages while I continue lying in bed, I feel the texture and weight, in general it is about natural sciences. But when I gain full awareness and realized what was happening, poof! I come back here and I don't remember any of the information. 

Do you know if these K.L. books are available in PDF format? Since I only see the option of acquiring them physically. The issue of shipping and customs is quite exhausting, a digital format would be better. In my country they sell the book but they have to order it abroad first, so it's the same. I may not see the option on the page and if it is already digitized. And if not well, just order it by mail!

Enriching information,
Thank you!

Hello Tides,

I have loved reading your entire Journal, little by little I'm trying to read all Journals here. I love reading people's explorations and progress. I have enjoyed reading yours and it seems to me that you have had fascinating experiences, such as having several perspectives of yourself at the same time, or sharing your energy body with another entity, woh! I liked those a lot.

Oh yes, the famous false awakening, what a moment! Many times, it has happened to me to get out of bed while practicing phasing and walk around the room, without realizing that it had already happened... In fact, I even went back to bed thinking that I should concentrate more on practice and not waste time doing silly things... funny! Sometimes one concentrates so much on the technique that ends up forgetting the very objective of the exercise

I have read in another thread that you have raised an interesting question, about having Obes, but without feeling a specific astral body, while in others it was more evident. 

I remember that Robert Monroe talked precisely about how he detached himself from his physical body, but then he detached himself from his denser energy body again and left it orbiting around his physical body, to move on to another less dense vehicle and begin an exploration. Right now, I'm reading Willian Buhlman's, I haven't read that book for so many years! I haven't finished it, but I have reached the part where he precisely raises this question, of having several energy vehicles to explore and finally ends up doing the same as Monroe, going from his denser energy body to a less dense one, to explore superior aspects of the astral world or his own consciousness. Apparently, everything has to do with different energy bodies and their density scale. I suppose it all depends on what one is looking for, but I don't think it's so essential to feel in the dense energy body, becoming aware in the NP is enough to direct the intention towards the objective (correct me if I'm wrong, but that's what I've experienced so far).

In fact, at this moment in my last practices I'm not feeling any body, my explorations are like a point of view/consciousness in the air, I tried to extend an arm to touch something and I didn't see anything, nor did anything happen, I realized I had only imagined the feeling, but I didn't even create an holographic one. Intention is what directs my visual focus left or right, up or down, since there is no head or body moving, I can spin 360 degrees like a top to see the entire scene around me. But I have not experienced seeing 360 degrees all together, including up and down at the same time, as if I was a sphere without blind spots, no, this is something that has caught my attention all this years and I hope I can achieve it without getting startled! I will do my best to achieve it (oh, if anyone has experienced this, I strongly ask you to tell me what it's like, since it's difficult for me to imagine it) This is new for me and the truth is... I love it! It's very different from lucid dreams where I have a solid holographic body or in my APs where I'm misty vapor made of light, it's different and new, it feels so good. 

I think that consciousness is able of traveling through the NPR in such a free and subtle way that it goes much further than we can understand and is not tied to the notion of a particular body.

Explore and play with this and see what happens! Thanks for sharing Tides,

Greetings!

Hello Tak!

I just read your message and thought I'd reply to some of what you wrote here, since you kindly sent me the link to this post of yours. So an interesting update I can give is that a couple months ago I spoke to a psychic and asked exactly what these experiences are - especially because for me, they've always been extremely painful. She told me that the entities doing it are part of my spiritual support team (SST), and that they were trying to do a reboot/reset. I'm not sure of what/for what, tho. Eventually I will speak with her again to find out more. She also told me something that another psychic & shaman had told me: that the SST entities that were doing this to me are extraterrestrials (apparently some folks have ETs as part of their SST) and that I'm one of them. That is, I'm an incarnated extraterrestrial. This was fascinating to me because I wasn't trying to get any of that confirmed by the second psychic, but her guides gave her all that additional information and clearly wanted her to communicate it to me. Maybe they knew I needed the validation of what the first person had told me. I don't think that means that every entity that does these "surgeries" is an ET specifically, there are probably many different types of beings that come in to work on us like that. You described yours a lot different from what I see, and people have all sorts of different things on their SSTs. I think the take-away, at least for me, is that I don't need to keep struggling away whenever that happens!

Thank you Grumpy Rabbit for taking the time to read my threads and respond (holy patience) I really value your responses and as I told you in the PM I read your entire Journal and you don't know how much your experience over time helped me and above all the feedbacks you received from our most advanced members here. Very interesting about the extraterrestrial guides, and everything that the psychics told you about it, I imagine that it has given you hours and hours of reflection, this Multiverse is wonderful, I can only feel bliss.

Yes, I was struck by the number of times you consciously went through that in your Journal, and about the pain. I think certain adjustments are necessary to continue moving forward, nothing to worry about! Just part of the process. Not long ago I received one, but it was from the Void, I saw myself in my energy body as I always see myself, just white light, around me beings, but only blurred silhouettes in the blackness, I was paralyzed and I felt very, very "sedated." I was alarmed by that, but someone took my hand and told me everything would be okay. I felt cared for, decided to rest and I lost awareness.

Thanks again Grumpy! I hope to soon see your Journal full of incredible adventures to delight in 

Hello again!

I haven't done mushrooms myself, but the only thing that is at all similar was something that happened in the late 90s. I was in high school then. I was messing around with doing energy work, and after a long time achieved an altered state. It was as though I became a tiny homunculous and was inside my own rib cage! It's like my consciousness shrunk and sifted down from where it usually is for all of us (behind the eyes) to the inside of my rib cage. It was also as if I were aware of all parts of my body at once - like my consciousness were also somehow spread out over the inside of my entire body, dispersed and flowing thru all my veins. It was strange, at the same time "I am inside my own rib cage" and also "I am everywhere inside my body all at once". There was a sense of unity with every drop of blood coursing through my veins.

If you're interested in shamanism, I can heartily recommend a book called Singing the Soul Back Home by Caitlin Matthews. It will walk you through how to do shamanic journeys and has an excellent Q & A section.

Thank you very much Grumpy Rabbit for sharing your experience of energy work and I really appreciate and value your feedback in my thread, I really wanted someone experienced in the NP connection through the Master Plants give me their point of view. At this moment I decided not to use the help of any plant to project, since on my last trip they told me that I no longer needed to do it, that I could get there on my own (I was not looking to heal anyone, just self exploration) I will definitely read that book, it interests me and I find it a fascinating world for which I have deep respect.

Your experience seems simply wonderful to me and really shows how consciousness extends to levels beyond the conceivable and to the unknowable. The only more or less similar experience I have, also with entheogens, was feeling that my consciousness was not "trapped" in my physical body or my head, so to speak, but that my entire being extended for miles and miles, to the highest cloud in the sky or the most distant mountain. It was incredible and I felt totally free, I knew my focus was here at this moment, but in reality my consciousness was fully integrated with my entire environment, it only happened once and it was beautiful. To this day I remember it and apply that feeling in my meditations.

A big hug!

Thank you very much again Escape Velocity for this remarkable and valuable information! Here I am taking notes and adding the books to the list... 10 points!

Wow! You also experimented at The Old Mansion, so cool! I really liked your Clueless style experience. Interesting that most of your dreams take place there, because for three years now, at least four times a week, almost all my dreams are there as well. It's very interesting how over time a story has even developed around it. The first time I arrived at The Old Mansion (in non-lucid dreams) I found it by chance, I was totally drunk with a group of friends and we wanted to find a place to have a party (I don't drink and I'm not a party person in my physical life) It was a completely abandoned, dirty and dark, really scary and gloomy. Over time it had already been reconditioned and converted into a Hotel and event venue, which I attended as a guest and also to participate in parties. After I started taking classes there with a group of people, where we also lived, I felt like I was at Hogwarts lol. Until this year they ended up hiring me and now it seems that I have a job at The Old Mansion as a receptionist and also preparing the rooms for the new guests that arrive. In fact, last night we received a person who was making the transition to the "eternal rest" and was taken away by some "paramedics" I had to prepare her room. This is getting more and more interesting  . I get there as a wayward and ended up working fine, they did a good job with me LOL.

Regarding The Void I enter spontaneously now, I just intend to enter from the LD and that's all, there I am. In fact, sometimes I have a hard time maintaining a lucid dream with scenes, because everything falls apart around me and I enter The Void. I have also discovered that part of the night, I don't dream any images, but rather I'm in The Void just thinking (I have become aware in this situation). A big thank you to Volgerle and his sticky "The Void", which I highly recommend everyone read. It helped me a lot in my progress! I learned to talk to The Void and it responds to me in the most incredible way, before I didn't know I could do it. I was lost and isolated in my "Egosphere". I also thank all the members here who always give me advice, I am making leaps and bounds thanks to everyone at Pulse . At some point I will make my Journal here too, but I still have to wait a little bit. 

Kind regards,
Tak.

Thank you Lightbeam for sharing such an incredible family event! What an emotion your mother and sister have experienced, clearly something that will accompany them for the rest of their lives. And it's not just a light, but such a craft! Quite a privilege    That feeling of vacuum was interesting, it seems that this is how those "machines" operate. I have heard that description many times in sightings. And it's good that this recent news appeared, it's always nice to find that others have had the same experience.

I have witnessed UFOs 9 times, events that I still cannot find an explanation for, but I have never seen something of that magnitude. I hope to have the opportunity one day, even if it is in the NP. What strikes me most about the phenomenon is that one is in one's daily life doing anything, and "feels" an urgent need to go out or look out the window... and there it is. In fact, the last time I saw one was in 2019, I was in a little town at holidays, I was in a hostel at night and something inside told me to get out of there because I had to go look for something "very important". I even walked alone in the dark of the night in the town looking for "that thing" that I didn't even know what could be, until I found it over the forest... I think that's how I saw them so many times, I "feel" they're there, that's why I no longer worry about looking at the sky for hours like I used to do in my old town, the Milky Way shone brightly and I saw beautiful meteors, but not UFOs. I know I shouldn't look for them, if I have to see them, I will see them...

I loved this experience! I always feel very excited when listening/reading these stories, sometimes I have spent hours reading about sightings. I must have inherited it from my father, who has also seen UFOs in 1960/70 and read every book there is on the subject. Thank you!

A hug,

Thank you very much Escape Velocity for your words and advice! I really liked reading your thread and all the comments. Congratulations for your test! All that was really complex. I'm now very curious about Leland's 10 levels of dreaming, this book will definitely be on my list.

Letting yourself go is simply amazing and it has changed my entire paradigm! The most fun, sometimes when I enter a stage, I can't leave it. The other day I was exploring an Old Mansion, but when I wanted to leave opening a door to the outside, there was The Void. When I enter the Void and ask to take me somewhere else (sometimes I'm tempted) it "spits" me in another part of the Old Mansion. So, it wasn't possible to go anywhere else. In fact, I woke up three times and all that times I consciously re-entered into the Old Mansion. I went to check the rooms and everything was still intact, every detail. I imagine the Old Mansion just floating in the Void. There were lessons to be learned. 

Also, the other day I asked the Void to show me what I need, suddenly I feel an invisible hand that takes me along a long path in the blackness, to then be carried away by an invisible force all the time, so I didn't control the exploration. It takes me into an incredible city integrated with nature and people in colorful clothes flying everywhere. Then I enter a beautiful forest and I observed big flowers, but these flowers were different! It 's very difficult to explain, their colors were not perceived as here, but rather they were seen as a very bright light radiating over them and within them, it was like seeing in another spectrum, so to speak. 
Those flowers shocked me so much and the heart rate of my physical body began to accelerate considerably (since I partially maintain the connection and I could feel it) Sometimes, a phenomenon happens, I can be perfectly 3D in a NP zone, while at the same time I feel my physical body lying on the bed, breathing, etc.. It's like consciousness divided in two bodies at the same time. The Inner Voice told me that I should calm down and I did my best, but after a while I came back for this reason.   

Traveling this way was nothing short of exquisite, I have been stucked in the Void for years. I just had to be open and receptive to receiving help, that was the whole mystery!

The refraction of light over the flowers were very similar to this image



I know that these experiences show me all my weak points, I really need to learn to be neutral. I must start working on that here physically with meditations, which I left aside lately.
Every day of practice is a box of surprises and it's what I'm enjoying the most, you never know what will happen. I find everything fascinating in this new stage and I'm infinitely grateful for every lesson learned.

Nope. You are constantly challenged to "re-invent the wheel". I think this is why so many of the past members here disappeared. They basically hit the wall, that so many of us do and after a while, lost interest. Also, "life" is always happening and that will completely consume you, that is if you allow it to. It could also be that they found what they were looking for and then were done with it. Only they know why!

Thank you so much Lumaza for sharing your thoughts! I agree with you, this is a constant of challenges. If there's one thing I deeply regret, it's stopping practicing. We're not starting from scratch, but it's not easy to pick up the pace either. I should have solved my problems, instead of throwing everything away, but it's all part of the learning process.

A change in your mindset really does change your reality. It leaves you not only open to more, but also craving more.  You just need to learn to lose your constant need to control everything there and instead "open yourself up" to it. Trust will lead you further than you could have ever imagined.

You have definitely hit the spot! The issue of control, that's what led me to stay stuck in the past. I remember in Monroe's second book (or third?) where he said that his experiences had completely changed when he decided to "let go." I'm implementing it and it's wonderful. From the Void I simply manifest my intention to be shown what I need and I'm carried by whirlpools, tunnels or forces towards different scenarios. Now is where everything is starting to flow.

This is the second time I have read a post of yours speaking about visiting the low and shadow places. If I had not explored those areas further myself, I would not have been introduced to the phenomenon of "Retrievals". That is where the Retrievals are. You are entering someone else's version of "hell" and darkness.

Now it's coming a third time...  Recently I have been there again and it was spontaneous (like always) I became aware and I was being carried by a guide, a formless grayish white energy being, through a place of gray fog, I call now this place "Shadow land." because the people are like black shadows and they have a haggard and terrible appearance, I had been there before. There were hundreds, it's like an entire city, but each one is in their own bubble and they don't seem to see anyone, and every time someone passed by me, my energy body was shaken with a wave of horror and suffering. I remembered the retrievals, and I told the guide that I couldn't continue, these people need help! But he told me that I couldn't do anything for them, and that I knew it well. I still wanted to try, so I went to a "shadow woman" and asked her if she needed help, she said NO and left... well I embarrassed myself a bit and I'm also a newbie, I can't do this now! But I have good intentions and I think they have been able to see it.

Hopefully over the years  I'll have my chance like many of you here. I think they take me to these places to know the entirety of the Multiverse, ALL of it. CURIOSITY and the desire to know more are always stronger and here I am, more excited than ever. This is how I have overcome any fear. I always carry the torch of Love high and we are never alone in this. 

Thank you, Tak, for the kind words of encouragement!  I'm certainly not going to stop, but progress is going to be made slowly, no doubt.  haha

Yeah, apparently, this stuff ISN'T like riding a bike. 

Perhaps you could deal with the issue of motivation in your APs, and ask what "ingredient" is missing, you might get a vibe  .

[CURIOSITY]

Have you projected to a country 1000s of miles away, to which you have never been? I did twice. Once I projected to Switzerland somewhere along the Rhine River (if I got that right) and flew past ships carrying shipping containers to their destinations. More recently, I projected to Cardiff in Wales. I clearly remember the big red building, and a nearby market.

How great it must be to project to other countries. I really miss the little town on the beach where I lived for two years, my second home, in the neighboring country. What has happened to me is that I had dreamed about this place before even knowing its existence and also in that dream it was told me that I was going to live there. I arrived at the town by chance for a job offer and it was the same place of my dream, I saw it exactly as it is. that's when I understood everything. The most extraordinary, the same thing happened to other people in the town. They dreamed of it, that they would live there and it came true.

But yeah, that's it.  I'm half-assedly trying to initiate these things, but without the motivation... it's certainly not easy.

I think I understand what you're feeling. 10 years ago in my lucid dreams after creating a world as perfect as this, I felt that how far I could go? I felt like I had already done it all (in my limited view of things at that time) I had a beautiful palace surrounded by gardens, I did the most crazy parties, vices, etc, etc. I did what I wanted and when I wanted. Unlike what anyone might think, all of that left me bored, empty, and disinterested. But well, one needs to hit the face against the wall alone after all. And regarding the APs it was worse, I visited shadow and low places for not controlling my emotions, which left me with an even more bitter taste, also stucked in the Void, a real mess lol and I threw in the towel because I got tired. 

But in all these years, I and my perspective of things has changed a lot, I try to take this practice in order to explore those hidden areas of consciousness, those aspects of being, that are not possible to experience here by our conditioning, going towards "unexplored" territories from this human perspective, but which are still there, that bigger part of us, which is veiled by our physical senses and social indoctrination. See the full spectrum, or at least as far as I'm able to process. It's bold and scary, but worth a try, even if it takes 30 years. Just knowing that we experience at this moment, only a small portion of what we truly are, was enough to unleash in me a very deep desire to search. 

Go beyond the limits! Go beyond the human, take creativity to the innermost, to a purely abstract plane...  let's see what happens. Experience new sensations, some people say they see new colors or hear new sounds, I have never experienced that, but I did synesthesia and I have felt unknown and extraordinary emotions many times, that have no translation to human words, it's just exorbitant and otherworldly.

CURIOSITY can be the best fuel, there are no limits, the possibilities are immense, and that can only fill me with such great joy that I feel like I am going to explode!

I find I don't really have the drive or motivation to do this anymore.  One month has yielded two very short lucid/astral awareness experiences.  I've been mostly, trying Stephen LaBerge's MILD technique mixed with reality state checks.

I thought that once one reached a certain level in the technique, one could stop and then pick up from the same place at any time, but no. At this last time it also happened to me, maybe it took me about 20 times, but I adjusted it, the experiences are increasingly longer and more lasting, but it takes many attempts, you have to be patient. I think this stage may be a little difficult to accept for those of us who once did this so well, but it is part of the process, you will adjust soon!

I'll tell ya that THC really doesn't help the mix.  HAHA

Regarding THC, I haven't used it in some years, in my case it always gave me the most vivid dreams and sometimes strong hypnagogic images, but I'd rather not to take shortcuts of any kind this time. Perhaps it would be best to limit the use a little if you feel it has a bad impact on your practice, at least in those days.

I don't know if this comment helps, but I felt identified and that's why I share my thoughts 😊

A hug and I hope you find the motivation very soon to explore the wonders of consciousness again. There is still much to discover.