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Criminal,

Sounds like your attacker is doing to you what my attackers do to me. They try to make you hypersensitive to EVERYTHING. Everything is wrong and nothing is safe or good or appreciated. Everything petty and little that most people ignore becomes a an act of murder. THank you for inspiring me again. This is how our boundaries are attacked and in some cases annihilated. Then they put their boundaries up for you to navigate through and you basically become their little wooden dummy. You move when they want you to, your mouth moves when they want you to.

This is why I keep saying, VALIDATE people! When something is constantly doing this to you, and manipulating how your emotions feel by manipulating your energy at the same time, you can't find stable ground to detach and see the bigger picture to break free. People jump all over you for being sensitive to such stupid stuff, blame you for it, and then you start thinking like the 18yr kid from Bruce's book...you're a failure, it's your fault, it ruins your self esteem...which is what these things want. Low self esteem = low energy which gives them more access. Next thing you know you're fighting a battle on two fronts, the attackers and the people you turn to for help.

Unless you're dealing with a Neg that takes off on the first sign of trouble, you can't do this alone. Your thoughts and emotions are always in question and over the dumbest, petty things.

Thank you, Tish, you have no clue how you just brightened my day.

URGO = Xvirus = one other individual (b/c I don't have proof yet) Pay no attention.

WHen experiences started with me, it started with me seeing things out of the corner of my eye. I was told by someone the reason why we see more out of the corner of our eyes is because there are more cones in the outer portion of our eyes. It's believed to be a physical survival tool enabling early humans to see predators coming at them from the sides...kind of sickly ironic.

Mind you that I am a chemist not a biologist and can not verify this...and I have been wanting this information verified for some time. Any takers?

Growing up as a Catholic I was taught there were Cardinal (God please let the spelling be right, 4th grade was a long time ago) sins and Venial sins. Venial sins were things like stealing chewing gum from the corner store and Cardinal sins were things like, well, murder.

Suicide was a Cardinal sin, very serious, but not unforgivable (big change from the old days where you couldn't receive your final rites as a Catholic or be buried in a Catholic cemetary...or thought of as being unable to enter heaven...lost in purgatory). I was always taught that it is impossible for there to be a sin that was not forgivable...to do so would declare that evil could defeat God.

Did that mean you were never punished? No, sinners are held accountable for their actions, but not so far as to be pushed outside of creation (which a lack of forgiveness was thought to create). To not forgive was to no longer see a sinner as part of creation, to be welcomed back with open loving arms. Impossible.

Even then Cardinal sins were seperated into various categories according to degree of personal responsiblity. Lately, suicide has been a very forgivable act because the person was deemed too ill mentally and spiritually to have made any other rational choice.

The "language" uses slang from a conglomeration of countries...British Isles being the big one. Seems a little obviously fake...and so does one other person listed on this site.



Don't worry, I'll ignore it and just let the moderator deal with it.

Right...

Now I can prove I have Robert Bruce's book. If you get or currently have Robert Bruce's book, Practical Psychic Self Defense, he gives his view on why angelic beings do not interfere on pg 142, starting on the second paragraph.

Now I'll give you my take, which runs alongside Bruce's philosophy. Angelic entities guide and protect us by helping us move through difficult situations, not avoid them...notice I use the plural "us" instead of singular "you." God has already provided help against these Dark things...it's us working together as a group.

These Negs want us isolated and alone so they can work on us, feed off of us, have their way, their logic, their function, their M.O. go unchallenged, unchecked, and free to roam. If God, guardian angels, whatever intervened we wouldn't reach out to each other. God doesn't want us reaching out to only to Him, He wants us reaching out to each other. We're all part of His creation.

Unfortunately, that's not what always happens. There's a lot of gloating over the success of defeating a neg that turns tail and runs at the first sign of trouble (not directed toward you Enderwiggin). That is not what I call a fight, and you shouldn't use a cowardly cretin as a measure of your strength and courage. Great, you know you can beat a coward. They're not all cowardly leaches...what are you going to do against the ones that are so evil they don't care what you do to them?

No one's probably going to believe me when I say this...this evil is going to get stronger and there's going to come a point in time where we're not going to be able to defeat these things on our own. Either we help one another or turn on one another. But right now, I see too much walking away from a situation that isn't going to go away, and it's going to slit our own throats someday. We're fast approaching something these Negs don't want to happen. Why? Because they don't like change, and they'd have to change to deal with that approaching event. They're not going to. So what do you think they're going to do, and do you really believe they're going to just take off when their actions have them trapped in a box?

Xelios needs help.

My aura is black, covered, compromised whatever you want to call it. I'm trying to find the energy to do things like get up and eat or go to work.

In a nutshell, I have Bruce's book, draw religious symbols on parts of my anatomy as described in Bruce's book, throw Holy Water around, drink massive amounts of Holy Water (have access to as much as I want/need), have Holy Water flowing through table fountain, burn incense, burn oil, have stones/crystals energized in Kosher salt and Holy Water in sunlight/moonlight over the course of several days (only to have the energy expended in a few hours), have herbs (mint, rosemary, lavendar) that I have spread around my apartment, have burned garlic, have religious statues, icons, and I try to burn as much light as I can through my chakras. I believe in God, despite what has happened to me.

They don't care. I get angry at them and command them to leave and mean it, they don't care, because I'm too weak to stop them and they know thye can get away with it.

Attacking them has worked this way. I expend energy attacking them andsetting the areas under attack free...this takes a while (several hours). By the time I am free, I'm so weak, I can't maintain it. They requickly regain control, which is immediately followed by punishment for my rebellion which I can barely deal with because I depleted all my energy fighting them.

That's why I'm so reluctant to fight back.

Xander,

If you don't have Robert Bruce's book, "Practical Guide to Psychic Self Defense" I would highly suggest getting it. He describes situations in his book that are similiar to yours.

I'm coming to grips with it myself. My mother was extremely verbally, mentally, and emotionally abusive to me growing up. Very selfish, self absorbed, thought only of herself. She never grew as a person, which always shocked the hell out of me.

Long story short, I'm a grey ET contactee who has become demonically possessed by short jet black leathery skinned entities and 9-12 ft tall entities. I was partially freed last Feb/Mar during a data download (massively powerful sending of energy and information). During that time, I was shown a few things, namely I watched as these negs channeled my mother. I can't go into too much detail but I can give some simple examples. I sexually assaulted by these things. In one of their more humiliating moments, one of them referred to me as their little "sex kitten." My mother was playing with the family dog, the dog roled over on her back and mother said out of the blue, "Oh look at the little sex kitten." My mother never left the fifties and couldn't even explain how people had sex when I became a teenager, she was too uncomfortable. I watched as they would tell me they were going to influence my mother to do this or that, then sat back and witnessed my mother exhibit the behavior.

Realizing what was happening to me, that they were manipulating my energy so my emotions wouldn't pass, I wasn't growing, and was repeating lessons over and over because they'd sever the connections I had just previously made, I started realizing that in some ways, they had probably been doing the same thing to my mother. It's probably the reason why my mother was so abusive when I was young, why she'll never change, why I'll never have a relationship with her. I forgive her, but I feel robbed.

Try Nita Hickok [nita@astralpulse.com] She requires a picture of you, does not charge anything, but if you can give a donation it would be helpful to her. She's helped people. There are still things you'll have to do, but at least it would give you some room to walk away.

Good Luck!

Lot's of wind, lot's of heavy, hard rain,...and now...sun.

Creation is a wonderful thing.

I'm not going to diagnose you because I don't know everything that ahs happened to . I'll tell you what I'm experiencing, but you really need more information than I have.

My attacker has a deep, low, voice that pulses(like the formations of the word come out as a pulse than normal sound).

I can't relax at all. I know it has something to do with what thy're manipulating (my energy), but I don't know what specifically. I can't relax my muscles, I can't be hypnotized, can't achieve a meditative state, I don't dream anymore at all. I've had the "lying awake all night" events,...you desperately tired and can't fall asleep to save your life (the muscles just don't relax, like there's a blocking sensation). Then you get up in the morning, and your too exhausted to do anything, but you still have to go to work. Just don't function well. Drugs won't work for me, they've flushed them out of my system somehow.

In my situation, the tactics are probably similiar to what cults do to their members, keeping them awake, little rest, constantly talking to them non-stop, all so they can't think very well.

But I'm demonically possessed. Don't read this and freak thinking, my God, I must be possessed. Take this post for whatever it's worth, and keep asking other people what they experience. Make the best determination for yourself. And not to sound like a broken record but if you don't have Bruce's book yet, definitely get it.

The entities that have raped me don't do it to get energy...it's done to keep me in line.

Everything that rape is, act of dominating someone by humiliating them and instilling fear and powerlessness, is pretty much what they've done to me in the past.

Humiliation doesn't even go far enough into describing what they have done.

East Coast living and only a half an hour away from the Coast,...Oh Yeah, I'll see it.

Stay safe

Nick,

I got it, finally. And I finally figured out what the original problem was. My Microsoft picture software was saving the images in it's own file extensions instead of JPEG. Once I saved to JPEG...no more problem!

Thank you Nick, either way!

We can't handle this alone, that's why we reach out to each other. Evil has often referred to people's desire to reach out, help one another...care about people...as weakness. It's one true way dividing and conquering people.

Isolate and exterminate.

I don't think so. I'm not weak if I have to ask for help, and the power generated by the joining of forces is stronger than anything any one person can create.

Hi Nick,

Uh, I clicked on the link which took me to the avatar site and the instructions on the page say to click on the links to the left...

Nick, there are no links on the left hand side of my screen. If I overlooked something on the page in my frustration (which does happen) I will gladly accept the idiot girl award for the week.

Is this one of those "you need to download Flash 6" moments?

Criminal,

that's interesting stuff.

You know I've been trying to either yank the things inside me out or force them out by trying to bring in light. The thing attached to me are like the borg, whatever you try works the first 1 or 2 times, then they adapt and it partially works the third time, then not at all the fourth.

I tried treating them as energy to channel out of me. It worked, the first 4 times! Now it won't work at all.  I guess it just proves that these Neg cretins may be energy but they're energies with their own individual wants, passions, and agendas. If they want something bad enough, they will adapt and improvise to get it.

I have a theory from something I saw inside myself last night. I tried channeling in pure white light, and I was bringing it in...and it was like it was just washing over these dark spots in my body. I soon started thinking that these dark spots were areas my chief attacker and his cohorts are occupying. You know how the light of your aura fights with dark energy (or should, unless your aura is like mine), like there's a little repulsion going on. It was like they were keeping the light from getting in by letting their darkness "repel it." I started trying to send the light through them. Well energy flows where the focus goes. Once my focus went to trying tosend light through these Negs, I had to take a little of my focus away from channeling light in. That was all they needed. Overpowered what little focus I had of bringing light in, threw up more than a few core images so I couldn't find my focus again...light was barely coming in,...rest is history. They are currently sitting as heavy as they can make themselves in my gut, left ovaries, and their favorites, heart and brain.

No, not giving up. Just have to re-evaluate...again. I went to a local religious icons store yesterday, bought a cross and a St Benedict's Exorcism medal...no, not giving up on my faith either.

Criminal, I'm here!!!!

Don't believe anything that jerk tells you, Tammy. Whether their physical or non-physical, these Negs have one thing in common, THEY ALL LIE! They put their little logical spin on everything. Brainwash you into thinking the sky is green and the grass is blue.

No one intervenes, no one helps, and pretty soon you start to wonder if all the little lies are true (was this suffering continuing if he wasn't the "all powerful karma master"). He doesn't own you, he doesn't own your soul, he definitely doesn't own your karma.

When are there going to original ideas to helping people like me or criminal or half a dozen other people affected on this site? Did you hear what Criminal said, over and over and over, for the zillionth time! SHE GOT OVER THE DAMN FEAR! HE'S STILL AFTER HER AND HER FAMILY!

Getting over the fear helps, external magic helps, it's not enough. It doesn't matter if there's no fear for them to feed off of, they'll whittle away at you until they have you in the state they want. You think you can stand it alone...without support, when they're flooding you with core image after core image, so many so you can't tell the difference between Core Image and reality.

Mick is right! We need to validate each other to make sure our sense of reality is in check. To make sure we stay sane. I'll just repeat from the last post I made, we have to reach out to each other and see what's in each other. If we don't, these bastards will have us isolated mentality, emotionally, and spiritually, and they'll have free room to program and brainwash us to believe just about anything.

WHAT ABOUT YOUR LESSONS, WHAT ABOUT YOUR KARMA?

Ideologies are being spouted...instead treating the person and making the condition go away you're treating the condition and making the person go away...just one more thing that puts the ball in their court.

If there is a war going on, I can tell you exactly how their going to turn us against each other. People are going to spout ideologies without checking first if it's a realistic fit. You're going to set people out on their own to face this evil, tell them they can do it without any support...people being attacked are going to feel themselves fade inside, then tell themselves, no it's not happening because everyone says I can do this myself. Stop helping evil by reinforcing their belief systems and boundaries.  

We're all going to lose if we don't get a little original thinking going on.

When are going to start listening and seeing what's really going on here? Clock is ticking, and alledgedly the war is under way.

Good for you Mick [8D]

It doesn't matter how many times it's said. Sometimes things have to be said over and over before anything starts to sink in.

It won't sink at all if we stay silent.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!  What do you mean you've had dreams about a cult trying to get your friends?

That's what happened ed to me during the data download I had last Feb/Mar. I was being shown this "cult" run by this very psy powerful old, evil, crone was going after grey abductees/contactees. They would kidnap abductees, drug them, put them through some weird ritual with people dressed in black cloaks. They'd fill the kidnapped abductees with negative energy, brainwash then, then send them out to go adn "recruit" other abductees.

No, I don't take it literally. But when people describe similiar things to what I have experienced Is tart to become concerned.

OK, email problem has been rectified (server problems on my end)

But every time I try to upload an Avatar I still get a message saying the Astralpulse.com site cannot be found.

How long do you think you can continue walking away...

Just because you master something in one degree does not mean the learning ceases on that some topic in higher degrees, lessons just continue to expand.

[individual]

Glad you're doing better X...

Oh God, I am glad I read that last post. Damn it, you should have told us you were a former member of a cult, Shadowdancer! Jesus.

No, I am not going to poo poo your experience, I will not think badly of you for being lead astray (happened to all of us in some form), BUT I WILL HIT YOU HARD WITH MY CAVE MAN SIZE BUDDHIST CLUB WHEN I CONTINUE TO SAY, YOU ARE MISSING SOMETHING HUGE...MILKY WAY GALAXY SIZE HUGE!

Cults are as bad as these Negs after the rest of us, they screw around with your personal boundaries and create an alternate frame of mind where it's possible for the grass to be blue and the sky green. Only "self" exists (usually the cult alpha dog) and not "other." Other is just an extension of self and everything the self is, does, and thinks. Other is not seen as another self with it's own individual boundaries, thoughts, feelings, problems, and series of healthy compromises to balance valuable life issues and priorities.

If I may use my club to bash whatever programming you are currently unprogramming yourself from...you are not the poster child of all negative attacks, psychic or otherwise. Each one is different in varying levels of horror and intensity. Each attacker is different in willing to just give you up and move on, or holds a grudge and is willing to destroy you to the point of withstanding painful, unpleasant things like Holy Water, Incense, prayers, positive thoughts, all because they hate you that much and want to ruin you any way they can (like mine are). Shadowdancer, you're acting like a Doctor that diagnoses every illness as a cold, regardless of whether the person has cancer or a paper cut. No, you are having to repeat things and clarify you're intents because you are applying yourself with the right truths under the wrong conditions. And you are treating everyone here under the conditions of the boundaries you are operating in, without asking us what boundaries we have to work in, what we have had to compromise, what energies we have available, and how we are being affected (and with all due respect, Dion Fortune's book...last I heard...was written at the turn of the damn century. There have been updates, namely Robert Bruce's book).

I think I KNOW EXACTLY where you are. You've just rebuilt your identity and mastered the lesson of "self" now you need to master "other" and you have most definitely not mastered "other." We are not deliberately cutting ourselves off from each other or not seeing the passion of life. WE ARE ALL DAMN PASSIONATE, that's why were so upset. I used to read Shakespeare, Classical Mythology (British, Egyptian, Norse, and of course, Greek), Science, History, I loved life and people and was passionate about it all. I felt deeply connected to everything. Then they showed up, and got increasingly stronger with each passing year. Slowly my energy senses were being shut off, sometimes completely turned off. You need your energy to sense things the same way you need your nerve endings to feel and differentiate between soft, hard, hot, cold. It enables you to process information AND INTERACT WITH REALITY. When someone is screwing around with your energy to not only cut yourself off from the working reality we all function in, but to create an alternate negative reality, you can become brainwashed into thinking anything negativce is healthy.

No man is an island. My first martial arts sensei always said, there will always be someone better than you, stronger than you, faster than you, smarter, and even if you are the best, the best have bad days. We need each other, because that's how strong this damn evil is. Everytime we're told "We're not working hard enough, we have bad attitudes, we're not taking responsibility...etc" we think soemtimes that we're crazy. Look everyone else has the freedom to do X,Y,Z, it's our fault we not creating it not some unseen force. So what happens...the minute we blame ourselves we stop reaching out to each other. We become everything this evil need us to be to take advantage of us and manipulate our perceptions of reality...isolated, alone, weak (you know, the way a cult manipulates you by isolating you from your family, friends, people that might question the belief structure of the self in charge and possible bring the whole structure down? They keep you all to themselves to insert whatever programming they want, make you believe whatever they want.). Like what they did to me...bring in a mutt, asked what is it. You respond, it's a dog. They say, not it's a cat. You know it's not a cat and you fight back. Then they work on you some more. Slowly as your isolated, taken out of reality and the support of people who care about you, your senses are manipulateed. Slowly you're weakening...you know the damn thing is not a cat...but you can't remember why anymore, so it becomes harder to make an argument, challenge and question. Finally, you're so broken, you concede, fine it's a cat. Then they say, no, it's not a cat, it's a duck. You have some sense of what they are doing to you, but you can't remember why you were so important to defend your value and fight back. Can't remember why it was so important to cry. You look at the people who once loved you, who you once loved...can't even remember why it was so important to love or be loveed. Now they have free range to do whatever they want to you.

That's what we're all fighting. That's why we have to stick together on this forum. That's why we have to fight back as a group instead of individuals, because if we fight against this evil, alone, we will all lose. AND THAT'S WHY WE GET ticked WITH PEOPLE THAT CONSTANTLY TELL US WE COULD DO THIS ALONE, UNAIDED! It reinforces the boundaries and logic of the very entities trying to destroy us.

Lesson number one: All lessons have a starting point. Life challenges you to constantly have you evaluate "am I at the correct starting point." I don't want to hear about 5D Quantum anymore. 5D is not you're starting point. Learning other, here, now is your starting point. (not understanding the difference between "extension of self" and "other" is affecting whatever you would learn in 5D Quantum anyway).

Oh, I hear some bellowing. I wonder what kind of punishment is headed my way for making this post. I'm sure the dark little nasties will find some way of showing me their undivided love for me for opening my mouth.

Oh good grief, I knew this would eventually happen.

All right, all right, give me a few days to formulate this. It's like asking me, "Can you teach me math?" Well yes I can, first I'll teach you how to count in order, then to add, subtract, multiply, divide, negative numbers....we'll stop somewhere at linear regression I'll be too tired by then.

Let me organize something to post (probably the beginings of my book).

It won't work on Shadowdancer, Criminal, nice try though.

Everything Shadowdancer has said is absolutely true. Tha's not the problem. The problems are the assumptions...believing that everything needed is there without even checking or asking what the individual has already compromised, what energies and resources have already been allocated.

Shadowdancer doesn't mean to do it...I'm noticing there are a lot things being done that Shadowdancer doesn't mean to do.

Personal responsiblity is a multilayered dynamic, not just self focused! There are things we need to open to and receive for that dynamic to take place.

You don't check to see if you're sending that essential piece out that needs to be received, you just assume it's there, and your intentions are good so you must be creating good. Yes, personal boundaries and their interaction are a paradox. You don't check to see if the paradox is taking place, you just assume it's there. Love isn't something that has to be created or nurtured, it just falls from the damn sky like manna. You treat people as "extension of self" instead of "other", which as far as I'm concerned is as bad as Service to Self.

All the teachings of Christ, Buddha, and Quan Yin down the tube and all over a damn assumption.

You don't see the anger passing, and you assume you know why! You assume too damn much. You make no effort to check the consequences of your actions. You make no conscious effort to see the difference in feeling the philosphy and making the philosophy concrete (sorry, didn't mean to drop that anvil on your foot, ergo your foot shouldn't hurt). Start learning what the reflection of "other" really is. And Criminal is right...we are all here because we are either possessed or under severe attack. We're not looking for attention, we're looking to see how to stop it, because the things you assume are there, AREN'T! There is no glory in being unable to tell the difference between life and death.

Counseling won't help. I have no health insurance and I need someone to focus on the person and make the condition go away, not focus on the condition and make the person go away. These damn things have done enough of that.

You are missing something BIG! Start looking for it.

Grounded...if you only knew how funny that statement is. [V]

I was raped by them, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and yes, physically.

More power and light can be generated by working together, validating each other, ackowledging each other's existences and needs, hurts, pains and suffering vs a one person glory hog.

Love and compassion existed long before any counselor ever did... Unless it now requires a college degree to see another person's humanity.

We are lost if that is the case.