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Just another dream - not lucid this time..  

If I keep having these I think I may make a log for myself - perhaps down in the MAP forum.

Or if someone wants to suggest that I record them individually that's fine too.... .. anyway.. - here's last night's dream

Characters:  myself, sister
Location: mountains of some type
Mode of Travel: bicycles.

My sister and I are somehow on bikes in the mountains.  There is an issue in that I have pads on my forearms to protect me during a fall but she doesn't have any.  Eventually she finds some.  We continue biking and come upon a river - the road leads right to it.  However, there is no bridge on which to cross.  I become aware that the river is crossable but in order for me to do so I'm going to have to continue upstream along the bank.  For how far I don't know, but I do know that the crossing is up there.

From where I'm standing I can see to the other side of the river.  On the other side there is nice neighborhood which I take to be a representation of 'suburbia.'  I'm also aware that beyond this landmass lies the second river - and on this river I'll find the Hoover Dam.  

I should add also that there was a Ranger Station at the point where I reached the first river and looked across it.  At the ranger station there was also a sign that contained directions on it.  Upon noticing the sign (which seemed to be Indian in nature) a Ranger approached me.  

And that's when I awoke.  Unfortunately, I awoke before I could read the sign.  

[Bad Karma]

Short Film
Bad Karma

Hey Nay...

Thanks..  I see you've had a few run-in with cats too..     lol

Jus' following up to myself so that I'll have some record of my interpretation.

I'm wondering if there is somewhere here I can start a dream/practice  log?

Anyway, I believe the cats to be representative of the female aspect (sensual, sleek, charming) but nevertheless capable clawing the heart in a razor fashion  if they feel threatened.  Please don't take that as a generality though.  It comes from an specific experiences to my past so in this case it really only applies to me.  Tis not meant to be a generality.  My heart, in the past, was once metaphorically caught in the middle of a cat fight.

The Boar represents something within myself - related to the ego - that I guess you'd say is a bit difficult to acknowledge.  I'm pretty sure I know what it is as it came to me in a realization experience, and this idea seems to be backed up in the few Dream Interpretation texts I have.

I'm also wondering if somehow I recognized the dream mind and the astral mind (if those are correct terms) simultaneously.  I could have sworn I wrote the Leviticus reference in real life.  At the time I did I was 'aware' of two separately operating states of consciousness.  One I assumed was my waking state, thus - I really expected to find what I'd written at my desk waiting there for me when awaking the next morning  - but of course when I did awake nothing was there.

All for now.  Cheers!   - and if anyone has any Boar repellant please lemme know   lol

When I contemplate homosexuality I actually don't consider scripture.  I'm reminded of a quote from Blake, as I recall.. - "Both read the Bible day and night, but thow read'st black where I read white."  I'm aware that two equally intelligent and reverent people can look at the same thing and form different opinoins.

Nature, however, gives me a different perspective that's not so easily misinterpreted.  I'm reminded that single cell organisms never really die.  They simply split themselves, forming a carbon copy, and thus unless one is smashed or becomes damaged or something - in essenese they have eternal life. - A great change occurs, however, the moment you introduce sexual reproduction into the mix.  At that moment in nature you have the first instance of death.  And what this tells me (in my own interpretation) is that at some point along the evolutionary chain nature made a decision that the concept of "male/female - He created them" was literally something of such value it was worth dying for.

A hopeless romantic's notion perhaps - but lol -that's me..  

Having said that then it should prolly come as no suprize that I see homosexuality as something goes against nature - and something that exists in contradicion to the evolutionary progress of man - which I see as  Divine.  Nevertheless, I'm rarely outspoken on the issue.  The reason is twofold..

1)  Like most folks (and in this I would include those who are overtly anti-gay) I can imagine two people of the opposite sex sincerely  falling in love with one another.  I can also further imagine that their sexual preference (in some cases) has largely been formed by some rather nasty hetrosexual parents and an unhappy childhood.  Again, not in all cases but some.

If that be the case, it seems rather odd for God to comdemn the child later in life when God should have been there protecting the child earlier in life. - We come through our parents but we are not 'of our parents.'  And certainly one of the duties of a Creator would be to look over His creation.  If He has failed to do that, then it's simply afront to reason that  the child should have to bear the price for his absence of protection.

2) The biggest reason I'm not usually vocal about it though is because, especially lately, it seems to be the issue most from the far right are using to see themselves as "goodness" - when that's really just an illusion.

Two cases in point.  First, homosexuality is now being hailed as "that which will destroy the insitution of marriage in this country." - But duuuuuhhh... Look around.  Those who are doing that are for the most part the far right-wing Protestants - who in case you haven't noticed are the very ones who did destroy the concept of 'marriage - life ever after.'

Serial monogomy aint marriage..      And imho, that's exactly what you have condoned by the right-wing Protestant faith.  The biblical concept of marriage was torn down by the Protestants long before the homosexuals were even an issue.  By shifting the focus now onto the homosexuals rather than themselves, however, they're able to see themselves as 'goodness.'

This is an illusion.

Then (and I don't mean to be graphic but just give another example of how folks fail to look within) there is also the issue of fantasies about bi-sexual girls.  I'm willing to bet that 80% of the men we see on our televisions condeming homosexuals go home after making their speech and indulge in a bit of this fantasy themselves - up to and including to the point where the fantasy becomes real or at least real enough.  And thereafter exit the experience kinda forgetting about it and not considering themselves "gay."

What I would suggest though is that if a hetrosexual man finds within himself the entertainment of this fantasy - he's just as much attracted to homosexuality as the participants he's envisioning.  He may not be homosexual himself - but he's attracted to the same thing.'

I wonder how many anti-gay male pastors have within themselves this fantasy?  I wonder how many have even taken the time to consider what it makes them? - I dare to venture it's very few.

In the end then, I'd just say that whatever the issue is - the answer is not finding the sin outside you.  It's finding the sin within.  I'd also suggest that the more vocal a person becomes in pointing out sin apart from themselves (it's over here, it's there, it's that) the more clearly we can see that the person has not yet taken the inward journey.

I happened to be reading about this just last night.  (  The Masters and the Path  )

There have been and still are many different schools of yoga, each having it's own methods.  Each belong to one of the seven Rays so that they must be regarded as complimentary, and not as rival methods of practice.  Each great teacher expounded a method for one type of ego - a fact so well known among the Hindu's that they are always liberal and tolerant in their thought, and consider it perfectly right for a man to follow that which suites his temperment.

From Wikipedia...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yoga

There are several forms and paths of yôga that include meditation (Raja Yoga), devotional prayer (Bhakti Yôga), selfless service to others (Karma Yoga), practices for discrimination of truth and reality (Jnana Yoga), and even meditational forms of exercise and bodily upkeep (Hatha yoga, a part of Raja Yoga). Yôga, as codified by Patanjali, is also one of the six major schools of Hindu philosophy and as such specifically refers to Raja Yôga, the royal path of divine meditation on the one Brahman.

Seems a bit confusing in that there are so many kinds, but perhaps there will be a breadcrumb trail from there based on what you find right for your personality...  

Hey coolbreez...  

No, I can't say that I knew that verse at all.  I had to look it up this morning myself.  What's interesting, however, is that this past Sunday I had crawfish ettoufee.  Not too long after that I was chatting with a fellow Buddhist  friend of mine and joking about vegetarianism and "bugs."

Here's a snippet from my MSN Messenger history just  a few days ago - on Sunday.

[07:25:47 PM] <jk  />: I did have crawfish today though - crawfish
             ettoufee - that in itself kinda makes it a good day
[07:25:56 PM] Bombing for : ewwww
[07:25:57 PM] Bombing for : lol
[07:26:03 PM] <jk  />: oh babe - it's good.. lol
[07:26:07 PM] Bombing for : lol
[07:26:12 PM] Bombing for : i hate hate hate seafood
[07:26:31 PM] <jk  />: as I was taking my first bite I thought about
             vegetarians - and my question was, "Does that mean ya
             can't eat bugs either?"  LOL

If I'm to take this literally then - I guess the answer would be "No  - ya can't eat crawfish."  lol

Would sure hate to give those up though..  I love em....  

Hey kaja...  

I may be able to provide a few tips.  Some that have been passed onto me, which I feel valuable, might help you too.

In many ways nervous tension can be thought of as an emotion or perhaps more specifically a suppressed emotion.  Perhaps we're aware of a deadline coming, but rationally realizing we've got something on our plate that we have to handle now we subconsciously repress the other.  Sometimes we're even also successful at repressing it.  The result can be anxiety that 'we do not know where it comes from.'

It's important to remember though that there is no such thing as a right or wrong emotion.  For that reason statements like "you shouldn't feel that way" make no sense.  Again, an emotion doesn't have a right or wrong.  An emotion just "is."

Emotions are just like people though.  If we try to suppress them they will fight for their existence.  When they do we often become sick (i.e. suppressed emotions).. and they can also create a lot of anxiety.  That said, in order to deal with this here's what I do...

At the beginning of meditation (which is a time I've set aside just for me) after sitting down and relaxing I take a few deep breaths and try to calm my mind.  Then I gently ask, "Okay gang - who's there?"

After that I let whatever emotion is inside of me rise to the surface, again realizing that there is no such thing as a right or wrong emotion.  An emotion just is.  When it rises I acknowledge it's existence and after I'm sure it knows it's been recognized I ask it to give me a small break for a while - just some time for myself.  Then I'll ask the same question again - "Okay, who's there?"  Once again just let whatever emotion is inside you rise - acknowledge it - then let it fall."

You'll find that after doing that whatever emotions you happen to have inside yourself will give you some time for yourself.  
Eventually you'll ask "Okay, who's left?" - and you'll find there is no more answer.  They just want to be recognized.  Once they give you this moment of peace then you can enter into your meditation without the stress of them bothering you.  Just sit there and relax - focus on your forehead - and then watch your thoughts just as you might have previously watched for whatever emotion was rising.  As a thought rises watch it's movement - then watch it fall.  After it falls look for the next thought..  Will the thoughts stay at bay or will there be others?  If there are others, again - just let them rise then let them fall. - Once you become an observer to your own thoughts you'll be well on your way.  Moreover, as you become the observer to your thoughts you'll prolly notice increased gaps where there is no thought.

Once you get into this state it's kinda like riding a bicycle.  All of a sudden you'll just be 'doing it."

Anyway - hope that helps.  I feel it helps me.  Talk to ya later.  And cheers!  

Man...   I'm wondering if this is going to keep up.     lol

I normally only rarely dream.  However, last night I dreamed all night, it seems, again.  I'm about one week into regular energy work - and last night's dream had a definite twist.

I go to sleep while actually in the process of stimulating the energy center on my thumb knuckle.  In the dream I'm asleep in my bed although some things seem to be rearranged.  The window beside me (which I normally keep open) is open and there are lots of cats outside.   Not small one's mind you - but big strong cats.  Like manx but in different colors.  They decide to jump in my window and once there each of them tense up.  Being in the room makes them feel cornered to one another  and thus sets the stage for a cat fight.  They're on my bed now and I'm under the covers but I dare not move for fear of being the catalyst to them fighting.  Them being so close to me I don't want to be caught in the middle of it.l

Ultimately, however, I say what the hay and somehow I manage to sling all but one of the cats back out the window but one.  Problem is this one's still scared to death which means he could attack me in self defense.  I try to move out of the room but wind up pinned against the wall - the cat directly in front of me and poised to attack.  I notice at that point my dog (Digit) is side by side with me.  He raises up on his hind legs and becomes 8 feet tall (taller than me).  In recriprocation the cat raises up on it's legs but does not grow tall.  Digit still raised on his dose not move.  I remain still and the cat puts on a display of his teeth in the most unusual way.  His mouth flays wide open in a most unusual manner.  Think of the cloth that covers the bread basket open on all 4 sided and you'll understand how it was that he opened his mouth. - Ultimately the cat lowers himself to the ground though and with a "shooo" motion by me jumps back out the window.

Next I somehow find myself outside my home but the landscape has changed.  I seem to be standing in the front of my house but it's a mansion.  Moreover, some people are there and we briefly discuss the cat.  Quickly it's realized that this episode is over and we can all relax now.  There is a girl that I want to be with very much at this point, but for some reason I can't - and choose another lover although that's not really what I want to do. (this is a little fuzzy).. Anyway, when we get back to the house it appears that I'm gonna wind up with this girl anyway but there is something wrong about it.  Before that happens though someone says "look behind that curtain."  As I recall it's not really a curtain but a curtain made to look like a wall.  Slowly it begins to open and behind it are all these people.  It seems they're in on some kind of joke that I'm not aware of.

Now - here's what's interesting.  At this point the dream becomes lucid (very rare for me). And I become aware that I need to record this somehow.  There is a book or some kind of journal on the vanity table.  I open the book and try to read it.  I'm wanting to take some type of information with me from this experience.  In some sorta odd way my vision splits.  1/2 of me is having a lucid dream and the other 1/2 is here ready to transcribe whatever it is I might see.  I focus in on the letters in the book and believe I see Leviticus 11:12 (although this morning I'm not sure if that's what it is)..  I write that down on a piece of paper so that I can save it for recall later.  Immediately after doing so, however, I go get back in my bed.  I'm very tired and want to go to sleep.  I tell myself I'll deal with this in the morning.  At least I've got a record of something.

Once in bed I fall asleep and soon thereafter enter the dream state again.  I'm on my stomach once again looking out my window beside my bed.  There is a freakin huge Boar out there - standing parallel to me.  I can see his whole body and his head is huge.  I'm reminded that wild Boar can be dangerous and again I fear he might attack.  He's spotted me but he's not moving nor am I.  All of a sudden I find a knife in my hand and I kinda jab it for him thinking he will either run away or we'll have it out there.  Something has to give to end this stare-down.  With that - rather slowly (not fast) he moves toward me.  I decide that in that moment I'll position the knife between myself and him so that to bite me he'll have to come through the knife.  The knife tip is now perched on the tip of his snout.  He wants to bite my hand (I think) and he slowly presses toward it.  I find it odd that if he were to bite me he'd be doing so on the very thumb joint I'd been stimulating prior to going to sleep.  He presses forward and the knife does enter his snout.  It's about three inches in now - but he can go no farther than that.

I awake again (this time for real) and go to my desk to see what I wrote down while recording what I'd read in the book.  Nothing is there.  Although I thought I wrote it down for future recall (literally - in this world) it turns out I haven't.  As a result I record what I can - get back in my bed for real and sleep the rest of the night. - Then this morning I post.  

Man - I hope it's not like this every night....    lol

Hey ya Mad.     And hey Frank!

Thanks very much for the feedback.  It helps a lot...

With regard to this:

When you say short little bursts of air that's what you internally hear, right? As if it were a sound like an air release? In other words, you hear it in your head more than you feel it as pressure?

Unfortunately, I guess, I can't say I 'hear' it.  On the crown it is internal, but not audible.  It's like a pulse and truth be told I think it could easily be mistaken for one.  I guess what makes it seem different to me is that I only notice it if I still my mind - watch my thoughts - and center on that area.  It doesn't come up immediatly, but it's fairly easy to find.

I think the reason I mentioned air is because it feels like (excuse the analogy) a wuppie cushion underneath the forehead skin pulsating - as if were being tapped by an invisible finger - softly and repeatedly.  That said, - again - perhaps it's just a pulse.  But if so, it sure does get strong..  It seems too fast for a heartbeat too.  But who knows?

As for that other - lol - I guess I'll just report back later.  Thanks for the tip though.  No doubt I'll be working on it soon..  

Small world, isn't it?  lol

Good to see ya, Mad..

wow....  thanks for posting that.  I had no idea..

Hello Gorilla - and Legend....  Thanks, so much..

I'm almost certain this wasn't a heartbeat.  I was at total rest - calm - and the speed was that of a flutter.  It seemed the more I relaxed and just let it be the more pronounced and faster it would become.  But whatever the case, I wanted to do a double check on myself to make sure I'm just not experiencing the fruit of wishful thinking..  lol

I think I'm going to hold off for a few days though - at least until my copy of MAP comes in.  Having read the site a little further now I see it's impt. to work on the small energy centers before moving onto these larger ones - or at least that's the way I understand it now.

But man - was Robert ever right about the dreams.  I'm about 4 days into this now.  I rarely ever dream.    But I seem to have dreamed all night last night.

Hope this keeps up - I like it..  

Probably you met someone else in your dream.

I hope not...    lol

I believe God is love, but not in the sense of romantic love (which is often not actually love but projection or attachment) or love in the sense of paternal love, love one might have for a friend, etc..

Rather, I see God's love as being the state of no desire.  Since desire is created by the ego the way to experience God's love is to transcend the ego and enter into the state of God - (i.e. union with god, end of self-separateness, being the whole, rather than a separated individual entity).. - - When you are everything, you can lack for no thing.  And to me this is what we mean when we say God is love - no matter if we do so through a Christian lens or any other lens.

With regard to the comments raised previously, I also wanted to add that I agree - at least in a sense.  Read literally and as a historical account I'm not sure how the Bible could lead one to the the conclusion that God is love.  Especially in the Old Testament, we see quite the opposite - and the New Testament doesn't quite clear things up either.

IMHO, if that's the way it works (as it's often portrayed by literal 'bible believing Christians) - mankind it to Heaven is not a time to sing and rejoice.  It's a time to cry..     Who among us could find within ourselves a time for joy and singing while knowing that many of our brothers and sisters remain suffering..?

Nevertheless, I'm able to remain quite comfortable in my Christian faith - despite all that.  The reason, I believe, is because I understand that  the Bible - both old and new testament - presents fact and allegory side by side with nothing to distinguish between the two, save the spiritual insight of the reader.  I also believe the Bible, including the New Testament, does not portray a story of eternal preservation and victory of the ego - but rather the transcendence of it.

Or put more clearly - I'd make a rather poor fundamentalist..     lol

Hey Gang,

I'd like to share just a wee bit of background then describe what I'm feeling.  In response, hopefully some of you can give me some feedback as to whether I'm making progress or mistaking what I'm feeling for something else.

First, I believe it's usually pretty easy for me to find my crown chakra.  I calm myself, raise my consciousness (focus) to the center of my brow - watch my thoughts - and then just kinda wait for it to happen.  Upon doing this I soon notice a pulse there.  It feels sorta like short little bursts of air with a slight throbbing.

Well, anyway, I'm still waiting on my 90 Day course to come in - but in the meantime I've been making good use of the tutorials on this site.  This past weekend I also spent quite a long time working on the energy exercises while finishing up listening to Robert's audio interviews.  (awsome stuff by the way)..

After that I lay in bed and almost immediately felt my crown chakra - very nice and soothing I thought.  But not too long after that, without any real effort of my own I felt the same thing in my heart.

I was like a soft pulsating beat - at a hastened speed. - It was 'air-like' but not air.   It started slowly at first but quickly progressed in speed to that of a 'flutter.'  Then, soon after that,  I found the same pulse in my throat.  It was below what that which I'd call a flutter - but nevertheless faster than a heartbeat.  I think I'd also describe it as deeper, if that makes any sense.

Anyway - it was really pleasurable.  And I believe it was me finding these chakras.  But before I take that for granted I thought I might run the description by you guys and see if this sounds right to you.

Also - sorry for such a long post.. lol.. I'll try to be more succinct  next time..  

I left my body and found myself horseback riding one day and everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all  might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get any worse, my foot became caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground, and my head continued to bounce harder and harder as the horse would not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and thought there might be no more.... a thoughtful K-Mart manager came out and pulled the plug.

Thanks again, everybody..  

And hello to you, wisp.  Nice to meet ya!

Hey, MadLordNad...  

Funny running into ya'..   They let me in too.  -     lol

The only one I can think of (and I can't even remember the melody to this) is Wisdom Chain by Jon and Vagelis.

Doo da, da
Did we know the Seven Rays throughout reality
We see how wonderful releasing it is.
Do we cross the Great Divide that spellbinds us
To one degree, this further dimension it is.

Locked in our memory.
Locked in the wisdom chain.
Locked in our memories.
Locked in the wisdom chain.

http://www.engelen.demon.nl/pageofli.htm#WISDOM%20CHAIN

Or at least it sounds like it..  

that you think about your body's various parts a little more than someone who doesn't work out

Hey Legend....  Thanks - and it seems that would make sense.  In fact, I've started mixing some of the energy and breathing exercises I learned about on this site in with my routine the other day.

As I was on the Stairmaster though, and breathing in all that sparkling light, I couldn't help but kinda laugh at myself knowing that nobody there realized what I was doin..     lol

Hey daemon - Hey parker..

Thanks for commenting, and nice to meet you too.  I also forgot to mention something that I think I'll mention here.

Not too long after this dream I happened to be vacationing in Florida and across the street from the  beach house where I was staying there was a psychic.  I'd never been to one before, but for this I decided I might try.  What was so interesting about it though was her response.

She told me to never go to another psychic again OR to even come to see her again. - lol...  The reason she gave was that many who practiced that art were not truly psychic, and they might get me off my path.  Then, she said that she herself was worried that she might get me off the path.  And then after that she just suggested that I continue doing what I was doing.

Anyway - a lot of things did unfold after that.  But nevertheless the specific meaning of "Double Three"  (which I never felt at liberty to assume meant 33 but realized it certainly could) has always remained on my mind.  

Today, I feel like I got a little closer - so again, thanks, everyone!  I just really believe at some point in the future I'm going to have some deep personal understanding of what that means.

Until then, I guess I'll just keep on walkin..  

lol. We're not a bad bunch.

Wouldn't believe ya' were even if someone told me..      lol

Thanks again.  And cheers!

..... thank you very much, diadulz...

Deep Bows..  

Hey Frank..

Thanks for the added info.  Luckily, I'm sorta past the point of soreness.  Some days I might experience a little after training exceptionally hard, but it's never to the point of pain.  Just a little tightness.

I just didn't want to spend a long time working on this only to find out that I'd been shooting myself in the foot.

It wouldn't be the first time I'd done something like that..     lol

Hey Gang...    

Thanks very much for the welcome.  I picked up Astral Dynamics about a year ago, but am only now getting to it.  I also ordered the 90 day course and am currently awaiting that.

In the meantime I've been looking over the site - listening to the interviews - and I've been doing some of the initial energy work.  Already, I'm having wonderful progress with that.

Just can't wait to do more.    

Thanks so much for making this available - to everyone. And Cheers!