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Messages - AbbigailDee

#1
So, after doing some reading I think I may have been Astral Projecting since I was about 16 or so (I'm 22) without fully remembering certain parts. However it is possible that I was just having extremely intense dreams. But I have had a series of dreams that were incredibly powerful involving celestial bodies and beautiful sights in the sky (planets, moons, comets, etc.) and all these dreams have always had a different "feel" to them. I always awoke feeling like there was some message I was supposed to get out of them.

Anyway, my uncle had told me about AP when I was just a kid. It always interested me but I never really pursued it. Recently I had tried some mental exercises at bed time, but as I got busier I stopped doing so. Then the other night I do some "exercises" to open my solar plexus (I had NO idea at the time this was associated with AP). After doing this and laying in bed I kept hearing this ringing in my ears. I often get this sensation accompanied by a sense that something/someone has entered the room. But it's a common occurrence for me so I went to sleep. Then after some dreams intertwined with sleep paralysis (which I commonly experience) I suddenly feel like I am thrown out of my body. This is what I am still confused about. It didn't feel as though I chose to leave. It was as though some force was rocking me back and forth until I tumbled out. As soon as I did, though, I realized I was projecting. Instead of feeling scared I tried to move around but I began slipping through different planes/dimensions (not really sure) and everything started blurring together. So instead I thought to myself "I want to see my friend" (who is experienced with AP). I was suddenly at his house which was darker than usual. I went inside and he was tossing and turning on his bed so I spent some time trying to "wake" him. After that we went to a beautiful cove and sat in the shallow water and talked. Then suddenly I had this sense of "time to go!" and i was back in my bed. When I laid back into my body I felt this sensation of wind blowing at my face and it was accompanied by this shaking of my ear drums. I sometimes get a light version of this ear sensation when I experiment with psychedelics, but this was a much more intense version. THen when it stopped I wasn't sure if I was still in the Astral plane or if I was back in my body so I became scared to open my eyes. When I did I still wasn't sure for a while that I was back home. Eventually I got up and turned the lights on but I was very startled for a while.

THen the other night I went to bed and tried to stay conscious while I fell asleep. It didn't work but I did almost AP. I started hearing the ringing/vibration in my ears and feel it throughout my body. I tried getting up but moving was like moving through molasses and I couldn't really see much or hear much. I snapped back into my body and experienced some really claustrophobic sleep paralysis and eventually woke up.

After these experiences it has occurred to me that perhaps i have been projecting in my sleep for a long time. I occasionally have these dreams that feel eerily like the astral realm. Perhaps I am not remembering leaving and coming back to my body? The places I go are often surreal and darker versions of places I am familiar with, or with the extremely intense ones they involve a glorious beautiful sky filled with astral bodies and a sense of purpose.

Anyway I know this was a long post but I wanted to be detailed to get as much info to you experienced AP'ers as possible. Here are the questions i'm stuck with

1) Is it possible that something "pushed me" into AP or was it my subconscious doing so?
2) Why was it so hard for me to move during my second experience? Is there a way to get past this suffocating sleep paralysis (it's extremely uncomfortable)?
3) Is it possible I could AP without fully remembering it, making it seem like a dream?
4) Is there some reason that my whole life I have had extremely intense dreams, sleep paralysis, and occasionally even hallucinations int he middle of the night? I dream every night. Often times my dreams are bizarre, surreal, extremely emotional.  It doesn't surprise me that AP would be something I'd experience eventually. But why? Is there some connection or meaning behind this?

I'd love to hear your expertise. I want to try to get further and practice gaining more control. I am often easily scared so I am trying to learn to face my fears and to bring myself to a higher plane. Any advice is greatly appreciated!