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[second one completely]

My wife committed suicide 31 days after wedding without any SERIOUS reason - it was 4 months ago. I found her, and her letter, where she wrote me that - "she will observe me, and she made it from love to me"... Letter is longer, but that two sentences are the most important. What worse - i dont understand that second one completely.

To this day I CANT STOP thinking about her, and day after day im more and more parted on two... First - i would like to live on, with hope that what i believe in will help me in find her on the "other side". And second - i desire to go to her instantly - "one step too far"... If i could use something like that.

I was talking to many experts, which explained me many things and i believe them. That, what is important - to Monika [ my wife's name ] was attached an negative entity, that she is free now and feels better than ever before...

AND MY QUESTION IS.
Is it possible to find her? I would like to hold her for a while... Not to ask questions, talk... Just to hold her... I feel that i stand before something, but i cant describe it... And i dont know what is it...

When i dream, and she comes to me i feel like nothing happened. This feeling is now the most beautiful experience which i could experience now, i think.

Kamil

Hello! Im Kamil. Writing from Poland.
We have a big tragedy in our family - my wife [ 33 days after wedding ] - she commited a suicide without any serious reason.
I want to find her.. and ask about several matters. I know that is sounds like i was crazy, but i believe in such things, like travels
beyond life, obe...

Maybe You will save another life... Thank You.
Im seeking for help in any point of the world...

Yesterday my friend told that she dreamed about me wife. and she was crying... two days ago the same frien - with his husband... They are convinced that they saw her [ monika ] in the night, in their room. When i was talking to them - i've noticed that they are seriously afraid of something. I dont know...

Do You thing that because i think about her almost all the time which i have she cannot go "elsewhere"?

Kamil
"Im going mad soon"

[What about the most important question...]

Well. It seems that everything was ok. How always - we've sometimes met problems, nervous situations. Its understandable, i think. But nothing significant hadnt happen. Last days were rather bad - she had and "period" [ i dont know how to write in english ]... , and very very bad mood...

What about the most important question...
I think that i am at the "gate", if i could describe it in that way. I feel that i need to make a one step forward and i will meet her. I dont want to ask her WHY SHE DID IT. I just want to hold her for a while... To know that my suffer here will be for something...

Kam

Sorry, my friends. I see that topic is too hard and to much controversial. I would like to obtain any useful advices, but You are trying to convince each other. Please...

It seems that i will have to live with confidence that answer on my question is deeply hidden in me... That's all.

Peace.
Kamil

It was 4 months ago. Ive seen her several times from that time. Yesterday i felt very weird... I was thinking about what will happen when i will go to her - in the same way as she did...

4 hours later my friend wrote me a message. She was dreaming about me. We were talking about my way to commit suicide. And somewhere elsewhere, she saw me in "second version", when i was dancing with a girl - it wasnt Monika...

Its is very sad...

Well. Thank You. I dont know what to think.

Regards
Kamil

Thank You very much.

I know Monroe Inst. - Im going to participate in Gateway, and then in the Lifeline program. Bruce Moen is also known to me, just like Robert Bruce.

But, day by day i see that nobody could help me - i see only advices. And it is OK, because i almost know - that only person who is able to help me it me myself...

Thank You very much once again.
Kamil

I know what You mean about that "what I have learn" - its obvious signal that something is directing me to a correct "path".

That's my tragedy - i dont know the reason itself. She passed up all exams in the college, she finished the driver's license course, she day after tomorrow had to go on the dancing camp. we were preparing the procedures to live from Poland to NZ, starting to prepare the plans for building the recreation complex - with horses etc.. that what about the physical matters.

What about relationships - it was - how always - sometimes good, sometimes bad, but always we got a solutions. Its several other important cases - her father... also committed a suicide.

I dont know anything about the strange coincidences, but ive noticed that everything is spinning around the number 11. It sounds "abnormally", but how would You comment that?

1. her grave has number 11
2. today i open the bag with her father stuff - i found a watch - normally it was 12:10, but that what showed up 11:20
3. in the church we got a term - 11.30
4. ive born 11.10.1977
5. she committed suicide 11 months after her father
6. she died 18.07.2003 about 20.00 > 1 + 8 + 2 = 11
7. ive got today clepsydres about 11.00
8. she in her childhood was named Majewska... and my name is... Majewski...

I dont know...

Finally. Do You know - someone specific who is able to help me?

[SHE GAVE HER LIFE FOR ME]

The most important thing for me is the fact that she wrote about waiting for me, because she love me so much.

She also wrote that SHE GAVE HER LIFE FOR ME.

She knows that she will be punished for this act and i think that is the most terrible thing..

I know what do You mean about emotions and distractions. But this is stronger than me - than mine dexterity from stopping myself before these steps - steps to find her.

I think that if i would know that i am able to communicate with her - my life would be better - i would be sure...

She committed suicide 2 days ago. I found her first - in our apartment, in the bathroom. Could anybody give me a contact to somebody who is able to help me? She wrote me a letter which contains several things which absolutely convinced me to find her somewhere on the other side.

She wrote that she will observe me, and that she will wait for me there. I would like to help her, because i believe that people which commited a suicide are "blocked" somewhere near us...

I dont know how to do it...