Dear all, I have experienced depersonalization and dissociation for years now, initially not knowing what was wrong with me. It has gone worse and I feel so sad , not remembering who I am. I sit passively a lot, I do not feel any life around or inside me anymore. It seems all I can do is grieve for my body getting ever weaker, and wondering where my identity, my feelings and my spirit have gone. It is the most frightful thing I ever experienced.
I can't make any choices anymore for they all seem wrong. I have been living in isolation for a long time. I can't function properly anymore and feel a disgrace to myself and everyone else. My will to live has collapsed also. I do not even feel like a human being anymore.
I know that I have to work on, turning around a lot of negativity, thinking differently, and becoming strong. Also I really miss a place and people to belong to. This is a bit of a lengthy despcription, but it feels so awful to have become such a different person which I don't want to be. I do not want to go to God afterwards and have to tell Him that I just passively sat my life away because I did not know what to do or how to heal anymore. It is said that I should love myself and others, but I can't. Please, if there is anyone out there who can send healing, I would be so very grateful. Thank you very much.
I can't make any choices anymore for they all seem wrong. I have been living in isolation for a long time. I can't function properly anymore and feel a disgrace to myself and everyone else. My will to live has collapsed also. I do not even feel like a human being anymore.
I know that I have to work on, turning around a lot of negativity, thinking differently, and becoming strong. Also I really miss a place and people to belong to. This is a bit of a lengthy despcription, but it feels so awful to have become such a different person which I don't want to be. I do not want to go to God afterwards and have to tell Him that I just passively sat my life away because I did not know what to do or how to heal anymore. It is said that I should love myself and others, but I can't. Please, if there is anyone out there who can send healing, I would be so very grateful. Thank you very much.