Messages

As I remember from my naturopathy as well as medical anatomy / physiology studies, and thus from a more physiological viewpoint the soft eye pressing on the closed eyes helps to activate the Vagus nerve which is part of the Parasympathetic nervous system, which regulates the mode 'rest and digest', as opposed to the mode 'fight and flight' of the Sympathetic nervous system that 'activates' the body.
It makes you more calm and relaxed and so it could indeed also deepen meditation and trance work.
 

Here is the one I downloaded from the Hemisync shop:

https://hemi-sync.com/product/free-flow-27/

I tried it once at night with the WB2B method and I felt that it almost worked. But then fell asleep or got too tired and stopped. But it was promising.
 

As coincidence has it (or not?) for this thread, I resumed the Gateway tapes a few weeks ago and am now at Wave II - 4.

I started this actually almost 15 years ago (early 2010) but then also switched to other methods and had stopped already at Wave I. I used the indirect WBTB projection method then only since with this one I project with success only - til today. 

I have problems with my jaw (CMD/TMD/TMJ or so) and so I have a hard time lying down on my back meditating. This probably (iirc) is what kept me back from continuing then and makes me desperate at times now again when meditating etc. It keeps me from directly projecting (which is the Gatway method for me). Although I also had better sessions recently with a better jaw and less pain and distraction, at least I was in a meditative Focus 10 then, sometimes with hypnagogic imagery, but not more.

I asked for help for my jaw problem from my guides and the Healing Center in Focus 27 where I want to go to soon (I made an appointment, don't laugh, I'm serious with this    ) to solve it for good now. I want to continue this time with the tapes and increased practice, also at night with the WBTB method which yielded some good results recently after a longer dry period. I also do physiotherapy for my jaw and have a manual jaw trainer now (actually it's just like a kind of crown cork which stretches the open mouth, looks ridiculous... but could do some good work).

I have the Monroe 'tapes' all as mp3s on my player in a row and even got Wave 8 now where you go to Focus 27 (there's a longer one called 'free flow in F27 now which is quite new with a new voice of course). Wave I-VII are all the original tapes with Monroe's voice which I love, he was really good at this, so soothing.

Even if I cannot project directly with it I feel that it might still help me with meditation. I won't give up. It is still my dream to be able to project directly one day with binaural beats, meditation or even the Gateway method. But it's hard work for me.

How did you feel when you awoke?

I felt content, satisfied. I felt that it kind of worked since the handover to the guide happened.

I was busy though with rewinding the experience in my mind to memorise as much as I could. Then as next step I got up to jot it all down.
Then back to bed for sleep because I was - of course - still very tired. So no time for 'celebrations' or revelling in emotions. (Maybe I'm meanwhile also too experienced for that, it has become a routine nevertheless, even though the gaps in-between when sth. happens have widened for me).

When I did the write-up the following day I noticed how important the internal 'rewind' and ensuing documentation in writing is because I first had an outline that was shorter, only when I looked at the notes I could add much more from the experience, things I would have forgotten by then. So disciplined journalling is really key.

[Retrieval Of A Lawyer From A 'Confined' Space (Wall / File Cabinet)]

Retrieval Of A Lawyer From A 'Confined' Space (Wall / File Cabinet)

Date: 31-Jul-2024

Account

I use the Wake-Back-To-Bed strategy after a very long time and it is a success (so I really should do this more often). After several attempts I get lucid in a municipal area finding myself in a city (more of a small town) at daylight. No person in sight. I start walking to search for a retrievee remembering my task of doing retrievals. While I am searching I do not miss the opportunity to complain and 'scold' my invisible guide(s) for wasting my limited ludicity-time by not getting me directly to the place I should be.

After a short while I walk past a local cemetery. I do not remember if I entered the graveyard but suddenly get the image of a younger woman with dark hair looking at me and saying 'I have a gun and I shoot!'. It is not certain if she was threatening me directly or if her words were directed at me at all. The vision vanishes and I move on.

Then I am in a house, still demanding to be shown the retrievee. Then I see to my left on a table a kind small model of another house but it is in ruins and it seems somehow burnt down or exploded. I even see it as a kind of animated form, a 'hologram' of  a house rising up and then falling or burning down again, like it was a movie on a loop.

Then I enter in a kind of office room. To the left is a kind of wall cabinet that is huge. I get the feeling it is or was for keeping files. However as the door opens I see a woman inside. I identify her as the same women from before but now with blonde hair and a bit older (middle-aged, 40-50 years maybe).

I then notice that she has no gun this time but still seems somewhat hostile towards me, or at least cold and distant. I also realise the presence of a guide. He is waiting in the corridor leading to the room and not visible to the lady who is still standing (hiding) in this wardrobe or cabinet in that room. He is dressed in white like a doctor or a paramedic while I notice about myself that I am also clad in white.

Then he tells me (whispering into the room): 'Take care what you say, she is a lawyer'. So I interpret this as a recommendation that I need to carefully weigh my words since these professional law people reading all the legal texts might be pedantic and fussy with anything you say or just be overcritical in general.

Knowing this now I face her and start to talk. I do not remember exactly what was being said. Maybe I asked her what she is doing there but also remember I said something along the lines of 'violence is never a solution' (referring to the vision with the gun).

She is seemingly recognising me as a professional of the medical kind due to my attire. I also seem to have somehow conveyed to her the impression that I am not here to harm her but to help. There also seems to be the notion of a 'psychological' or 'psychiatric' problem (also since she is not hurt physically). Maybe that is why she then asked me this question: 'So are you or is there any professional (psychiatrist?) around to help?'.

Immediately I jump at the chance. 'Yes, here is Mr [invented a name] and he is a specialised doctor who can help you with your problem'. The guide then enters the room. I notice that he is actually crawling because suddenly it looks like the entire room was even more confined now with a lowered ceiling, I also seem to be crouched now. He (still young and shining in his white attire, with long dark hair, dressed as a doctor) starts talking to her, smiling and asking questions.

Unfortunately I do not remember any of their 'consultation'. I try to stay anchored in the scene looking at my hands as a technique for stabilizing myself. After a while however I know it is futile and I slowly fade out of the room entirely. Since the handover worked and the 'doctor' guide was now taking care of her I do so with a good feeling. I wake up immediately to take notes.

Analysis

Most of the time the scenes were bizarre and dream-like for me. So I conclude that this was the enclosed and private dream-space of the retrievee (in Focus 22), at least after I entered the 'house'.

I don't know why my first impression when waking up was that this lady actually had shot herself (or was shot?). I discarded the suicide or murder version leaving it as one possibility now. Maybe the shown 'hologram' of a burnt down, collapsed or exploded house could also be an explanation but then the gun does not make sense anymore. Maybe she died in a house being bombed in a war or terror attack or it was just a home-related accident?

I opted for 'lawyer' in the account, but the guide actually used the word 'Juristin' for her, which is translatable as 'female jurist' in English. So the most likely case is she was indeed an attorney but also could have been a legal counsel or judge. However, that does not change my assessment regarding the situation and her personality.

The gun and her being a 'jurist' as well as her strange and comical dwelling in the file cabinet could also be a metaphorical expression of her being so overcritical with information and express her data-driven rationality. This in turn might be a contributing factor to her self-isolation after her (violent?) death. Maybe her job (and life) as a very rational person also seems to point out her materialistic and atheistic views keeping her from breaking out of her 'mind prison' now. Many recently deceased people cling to their lives and even job lives after death.

Another explanation of her rather comical habitation is that it actually symbolised her lying in a coffin. The later lowering of the ceiling with me and the guide in a crouching and crawling situation might also be a hint. Furthermore I've read a few retrievals from graves by now, so it is possible. Rational and atheist / materialist people seem to cling to their dead bodies for a while, especially after a traumatic death. After all this could be a good explanation for the graveyard I passed (or entered?!) before I met her in her own dream-space in F22.

Enough thoughts on this. I decided to do the WB2B method more often from now on. It might get the ball rolling again for me regarding OBEs and retrievals in particular.

Thanks Volgerie, that was fascinating!

I love the idea of having something like a playing card hidden to see if it can be seen out of body.

The card validation is a well-known practice for OBErs. Some have success but not all. If you are on the astral level it might work despite the reality fluctuations (you might get several card options then instead). If you really focus hard you might succeed and the right one appears, maybe ... and some did have success with it for sure.

My attempts at card validations when projecting to my room, however, were quite frustrating and unsuccessful because then I did not get to my room in the first place but was somewhere else every time.


As irony has it, when I finally did it another way (actually more by accident) it worked for me. I used the Void/3D-Blackness which indeed showed the right card to me at the time. When I was back 'in-body' and went to the stack to see the card I had blindly drawn the day before and placed on that shelf I was 'shocked' to see the right one. My conclusion was (as so often): the Void does not lie - at least not to me.

The first thing I did was see if I could see myself lying in bed.

I wasn't there. This didn't make any sense but I carried on.

Just picking up on this issue for lack of time now and also because I thought about it recently.

In my book this happens because it was an astral and not an etheric projection.

Just speaking from my own expereriences here. The only time when I saw myself lying down in bed while I was hovering over it was a projection of my etheric body, it is heavy and with lots of energetic sensations. Later I can add a link where I described it in detail; it was also my first self-induced OBE back then.

Imv, the etheric plane has/is no own plane as such but an etheric (body) projection can take place in/to the physical and thus you can see yourself (meaning: your physical body) from it simultaneously when you are a few inches or metres 'out' and away from it. It can give you strange feeling I can tell you, at least so it was for me back then.

In an astral projection, in contrast, you are in an energetic copy of your bedroom when you see it. There are overlaps with the physical (thus validations / gatering proof is possible - but difficult) but there are also so-called "reality fluctuations" (e.g. past objects or a manifestation of your own thoughts or other levels, such as we know it from dreams).

The "logic" of the 'projection' dictates thus that of course you could not see yourself in bed ... just because you were out of your astral bed with your astral body standing there looking back at your now empty astral bed. 

However even on the astral plane (physical copy) it would be possible to see yourself, when you just 'leave a copy of self' in the bed because energetic splits might be possible. Or you just create a thought form of yourself lying there and so you 'are'. Anything is possible on the astral plane.

Just my two cents, I know some people see it differently and don't differentiate between etheric-astral-mental projection, but it is just a conclusion from my humble OBE experiences of the past. It's how I came to see it then.

I guess I'm still finding out.

My first vibrations also were not vibrations at all but strong energy surges with sound that came from the down of my spine upwards through the torso. 

Like you I was annoyed when I then read about pleasant and soft vibrations. I only had them later after this hard-core phase.   

Here I wrote about it also recently and there also is a link to my blog about my first 'violent' OBE induction experience:

https://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome-to-out-of-body-experiences!/astral-vision-with-exhilarating-energy-surges/msg380111/#msg380111

 

I've had lots of precog dreams. Also some where it somehow mixes up with dream telepathy (group experiments and private personal ones). I have them in a searchable diary / journal / log and might then post some here later on (no time now).

Sad news. Robert Bruce, famous author of AP and energy work books and also former and early member (since 2002) of this forum has passed away on April 22nd.

https://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?39553-Rest-In-Peace-Robert-Bruce-Thanks-for-all-your-Guidance&p=176239#post176239

http://ofmyownknowledge.com/2024/04/24/robert-bruce/

https://www.astralpulse.com/forums/profile/?u=18

I know he is a controversial author to some regarding 'certain topics' but I will always be very grateful to him. He was the third author on OBE/AP I read back when I started this journey (around 2009/2010) after I had finished Buhlman's first book and the three Monroe books and it was him who gave me a new and interesting perspective on AP related energy work, techniques and views. And his then still active Astraldynamics forum also helped me a lot (even knew it before the Pulse).

I think that especially his work 'Astraldynamics' is considered a classic by now among APers, or will be in the future for sure.

If I remember correctly, wasn't it even him who coined and described the very term which is a namegiver for this forum -'Astral Pulse'? (I could be wrong on this though.)

Rest in Peace, Robert. You will be missed.

Next to the normal vibrations which came later, my first two OBEs were related to 'kundalini-like' energy surges. Back then the word and concept "Kundalini" wasn't even known to me. I only found out about it later and could compare it and found validation that the energy surge was maybe also related to this phenomenon.

Here is a more detailed account from my former blog (now discontinued) that was written 2018 and in its first form in 2011, the event however had already been in Nov 2009:

https://astral-blog.weebly.com/blog/first-induced-obe-with-kundalini-symptoms

[c) on your left side]

1. How do you prefer to sleep?
a) on your back
b) on your belly
c) on your left side
d) on your right side
Other: please explain in a few sentences or less.

2. What is the fastest way for you to fall asleep?
a) on your back
b) on your belly
c) on your left side
d) on your right side
Other: please explain in a few sentences or less.

3. Which sleeping position allows you a higher success rate for astral phenomenon? (OBE's, hypnagogia, sleep paralysis)
a) on your back
b) on your belly
c) on your left side
d) on your right side
Other: please explain in a few sentences or less.

I'm a notorious side sleeper. I alternate equally between left and right during the night. I think I still prefer the right side as this seems to be the one where I start lying down first.

I have no experience with the other two because I do not know how you can lie on your belly honestly while sleeping (should'nt this be harmful for the neck/nape?).
Due to jaw pain (CMD) problems I cannot lie on my back and also relaxation is more difficult for me generally in supine position (I sometimes do meditation sessions then on my back due to headphones I wear then, but it is difficult for me).

All religions (montheistic as well as all the 'pagan' multi-god pantheons of Romans, Greeks, 'barbarians' such as Germanics, Celts, many indigenous tribes around the world and in all ages, etc) humanised their god(s) in order to comprehend them better. Abstract concepts to approach what REALITY really is don't do it for the 'normies'. Also it was created and held up for the powers to control the people better. A guy with a white beard on a throne is just more authoritative than a concept of, say, "Source" or "All That Is" or whatever.

https://youtu.be/LZT7tv1qDqU?si=fwBxJj7TTbaDrBGX

"What you are seeing and hearing right now is nothing but a dream. You are dreaming right now in this moment. You're dreaming with the brain awake. Dreaming is the main function of the mind, and the mind dreams twenty-four hours a day. It dreams when the brain is awake, and it also dreams when the brain is asleep. The difference is that when the brain is awake, there is a material frame that makes us perceive things in a linear way. When we go to sleep we do not have the frame, and the dream has the tendency to change constantly. Humans are dreaming all the time."

But first we have to agree on a definition what "DREAM(ING)" means in the first place.

I need to get one of these too! ... Oh wait ... I now noticed ... I already have one in my bedroom.


Good strategy. I will tell entering the 'machine' myself now also every night before sleep and hope it will get results.

My astral ET experiences are very limited tbh. I saw them (mostly 'grey type' beings) in dreams a lot and once had a lucid 'meeting' but it wasn't an abduction although strangely enough it wasn't a 'voluntary' meeting with them either. It was short and nothing really to write home about, I mean, not an elaborated story at all, rather boring. Yet it is profound for me because it had a very 'real' feel about it supported also by the fact that I did not really ask for it. I never asked for a meeting with ANY Ets to this day as it is simply never my intention (so far) for my astral explorations (Akashic records, retrievals, higher astral realms are, just to name a few examples, but never ETs). So I am a bit of a bore here I suppose. 

Anyway for what it's worth, here is the journal entry from the AD forum on August 6th 2012 which I titled tongue-in-cheek 'To Boldly Go' and yes, you can see I took it quite humourously back then in general:

https://www.astraldynamics.com.au/showthread.php?11852-Sinera-s-Lucidiary&p=113486#post113486

"06/Aug/2012
To Boldly Go ...

During another exit, I was 'blind' again but felt that I was hovering 'outside' of the window of my portal already. I grabbed sth that felt like wooden posts, poles, planks or beams. Then I had the idea to use another Buhlman command but with a variation. I shouted while directing my 'eyes' down at my still not visible hands holding them before me.

"Higher Vibration Now! Increase Vibration Now! Higher Vibration Now! "

Then I even added:

"Much Higher!!!"

Then felt myself (my "body") becoming somehow warmer and more 'diffused'. Then I could see my hands shimmering orange-red through the darkness. It was still dark and murky around me, but when I 'looked up' from my hands I saw some white beings a few 'metres' off, mabye 3-5 or so. They were all white, still with 'form' but also a little shiny. The background and everything else was still in deep and murky darkness. They looked at me, observing. Not more. I recognised them by their contours and also 'faces'.

Greys.

I decided this was not where I initially had wanted to go (see above) or what I ever expected to encounter in the astral at all. I was not afraid or scared or anything. It wasn't a scary or threatening encounter at all. There even seemed a peaceful air about them. At least, it was neutral. All in all, it lasted not long enough for me to make a complete assessment. After about 3 seconds I decided to fade out again as it just wasn't what I was heading for."

Comments / Afterthoughts

Well, maybe I should have done without the "much higher" instead?

Taking the TMI levels literally and considering the fact that I was neither 'being visited' nor 'being abducted' but rather went there by increasing my frequency, it could mean that I was on Focus Level 34 indeed.

(...)

As said, I was and am not scared at all. I am even a little optimistic as it shows that I might now be able to make it 'anywhere' in the non-physical with this technique. I just need to 'calibrate' (so leaving out the 'much higher' addition next time isn't just a joke). If I make it to F34 I certainly can make it to F27 by 'adjusting'. That's the positve insight. It would be like hopping off the bus a station or two earlier or like leaving the upward moving elevator on a lower floor, just to put it metaphorically.

It is fascinating how I experienced the vibrational shift. It felt warm, more spread out and maybe even 'light(er)' (in a double sense?). Still I was disappointed not to have reached the "Healing Temple" or any kind of lighted, sunny Park-like area hoped for. I wasn't focussing on a location when I did this. I was just focussed on my 'body' then. So this might be a thing to improve for next time I try it. And I will!

Actually I am also a little amused, too. Maybe I should have tried to communicate with them. The whole thing strikes me as funnny even. It was like s.o. opening a door in an office building in search of a team meeting, noticing it is the wrong group and conference room, saying 'oops, I'm sorry, wrong party' and closing the door again. Maybe I should have asked them "Ok, guys, how ye doin'? And where's Spock, by the way?"

Another over-arching ETs 'storyline' if you will evolved by occasionally astral travelling through a kind of 'network' with regard to either travelling or also researching the Akashic Databases or rather any kind of 'Cosmic Wiki' it seems. It must somehow be connected to the Grey ETs for me since I saw them then peripherally only. Btw I wrote a bit also about this in a thread about a more recent development here:

https://www.astralpulse.com/forums/welcome-to-out-of-body-experiences!/the-void-part-2-5-years-later-the-videntia-project/msg379389/#msg379389

(if you don't want to read it all you can scroll down to the header "The 'Grey' information and/or travel network system")

That's all. Not so much I know.

Welcome to the forum, athoward!

I love these 'download' dreams. 
It's been a while since I had them though. Classroom (school or university) is quite often where I have to do tests but often fail them since I try to solve them with my daily waking consciousness. Also dreams when in school and outside a kind of UFO 'invasion' takes place.

Nice to meet you Volgerle!
(...)
But how do you usually get out of the void? Do you just snap back to your physical body or you go through another lower focus first like I did with the lucid dream where i thought I woke up but I didn't?

Both of what you mention is possible. I choose to be lazy    and copy the part from my Void article on this sub-topic here:


VOID Entries & Exits

Entry:

I mostly enter the Void from sleep paralysis after an induction which happens for me after 3 hours of sleep already. This is more or less the so-called Wake-Back-To-Bed strategy, a term coined by Albert Taylor.

The best 'body exit' or 'Void entry' strategy is in my view akin to the method of 'Phasing'. I call it 'teleporting' or 'jumping' though. I was taught to use it instead of any kind of exit movement during my 'Don't-Roll-For-The-Void' experience (see above). So then I am in sleep paralysis or vibrational state (with or without vibrations) and just 'click' or 'teleport' into the Void. Normally, we all remember a short 'blackness phase' during each 'classical' exit technique, too, so this means we might go through the Void anyway (see more on this as a speculation in Part V). So this is just about using this common short window of opportunity to 'stop' there and stay in the 3D Blackness. Normally the view opens up quickly and I am 'there'.

In one experience I tried to enter it from a Lucid Dream. I tried to 'dissolve' the scenery (F2 according to Kepple) around me and affirmed to be taken to the Void. I ended up in a kind of light zone and it might in this case even have been the white Void although I cannot be sure of this. Since I was in an astral dream scenery before my entry into this white area this would make sense due to the White Void's closer proximity to manifested realities. I then asked a question and demanded an answer by sound. Indeed I heard an answer by a female voice but it was too low ('far away') to be understood. This can happen in the (dark) Void, too.

I will further work on this method and try to remember that I want to access the Void (or F3) from this area, too.

Exit:

I can leave the Void by different states of consciousness. I made some acronyms of the ones that mostly ocurred to me.

FOWAP - Fade-Out With Astral Projection (F3) (or Lucid Dream (F2)); also: VAP - Void Appendix Projection
FOWUP - Fade-Out With Waking Up
FOWULD - Fade-Out With Unlucid Dream

FOWUP is what happens most often to me. This is of course the most helpful type for journalling since you can immediately jot down your memories for the dialogue transcript.

FOWULD can happen but it is rare. It is the least conducive to bring back memories, as a matter of fact. Mostly it is 'normal' dreaming (so it happens in F2). It is possible with lucid phases, too. Then it would be more of a FOWAP (taking place in F2 or F3) for me.

FOWAP is also common. To make it clear: This does not include being shown pictures in the Void because the 'background' in that case is still the 3D Blackness or swirls (Type A or B). It rather refers to 'exits' from the Void and 'entries' into full astral sceneries instead. This is of course also the usual 'travel' or 'teleportation' mode by using the Void as a portal to reach an astral or mental plane. However, in these FOWAP cases the projections were helpful in answering a question posed in the Void before. So they were connected (or 'appended', hence my term 'VAP') via my intent to the Void experience.

From my personal experience we (or at least I) ALWAYS go through the Void while doing a conscious projection (as opposed to Lucid Dreaming when you wake up in a dream and immediately 'see'). We often just don't realise it. It is the diving board and starting point. For me there is or was 'always' a 'black phase' even when I gain 'visuals' almost immediately.

So the 'trick' if you will is to realise it and just 'stop' 'on the way out' by realising you don't want to go further yet but stay there for a while or the rest of your projection.

Also I would suggest not to use any 'physical' techniques such as rolling, climbing, or any other 'kinetic' strategies like e.g. looking at your astral hands in front of you to gain more clarity. A kind of 'phasing' tech seems better for the Void if you ask me.

Visuals within the Void will then also arise automatically by design or desire, in my case often in the form of 'galaxies', 'vortexes' or 'swirls' which you can enter or use for communication. You can also let it show you things e.g. when you do remote viewing stuff. The Void can become pretty 'talkative' and 'communicative' if you let it. 

Merry Christmas to all whom it may concern! Whatever you celebrate (or not) I wish you a happy time and happy holidays!

Regarding manifestation of APs/OBEs ... I also noticed that the very feeling of excitement / thrill of joyful anticipation is best what gets me into the SP/Vibrational State. I project with an (inner) smile on my face, so to speak. This works best. 

No wife, no kids. Yep. I fit the pattern and I see there's one for sure.

I resonate a lot with what has been written here and actually am amazed how many of the 'core' members' lives here are 'the same' like me or at least similar.   

Thanks, Nameless, for making this thread. Nice to meet and talk to some 'similar souls' at least online because I had and have a hard time finding them in physicality.
 
Certainly I have been a 'loner' (hate that word) for most of my life. Especially regarding my inner being and state of mind. Yes, periods with 'relationships' and some friends (not many) I had but it never went too deep. Now I actually have only 1 friend left, well, better than nothing.

If I remember correctly from Dolores' work, I might be a 'second waver' or a kind of early scout for them, since I was born a little before that (1968). I also remember her writing that most of the 3-Wavers  don't want to attract more karma which having children can cause. Not sure if this is right though. I know from one past life I was a woman (yeah, guess who ... it's 'Sinera' ) with 3 children but 2 were early infant deaths - maybe another reason for me not having children in this life?

I seem to be also (although by mere self-diagnosis) a slight case of aspergers, or at least I am a very focussed introvert who needs a lot of 'me-time', but I'm not 'shy', there is a difference.

Unlike most here, however, I often in my life and also at this time suffer from my 'lonely' situation. I do not have depression but all my life I am 'melancholic' and sometimes it is hard for me to be so alone although I also need it. There's sadness for sure. Sometime anger why I came here and chose this life. Then again I love it because I do a lot of creative and productive things I could not do as a family man or not as 'effective'. So altogether a real dilemma it is.

EV put this situation so eloquently with the words ...

"a dichotomous struggle between needing friends and social interaction (small group quality versus large crowds) and the absolute requirement of periods of isolation for meditation, reflection, processing."

That also describes my life for sure.

I always had this quagmire situation, even since my school days where I was 'shy' indeed but did not want to be without friends. I found some guys who were 'like' me occasionally, but not many. 
I also was bullied for being 'shy' by the 'normie' class mates, well, I survived it all, but I know that not all do and take their lives early. I was lucky to have been too cowardly to do this but also had a good family home serving as a retreat with my parents and uncles, aunts, grannies, etc.
My relationship to my sister is not good and never was, altough she is also a 'starseed' kid for sure, so she 'told' me once. My now very old parents whom I care for right now (roles reversed if you will) always were more earth-bound it seems, certainly my mother.

I had a later phase as a youth where I tried becoming more extrovert, mostly in my 'roaring twenties', even played in bands as musician and went to parties, took drugs, the usual silly stuff you do as youngster, etc, but was never too happy with it. The melancholy and the feeling of being a mis-fit stayed always in the background.

My ET connection is also there which many here seem to have (see the other thread(s) on it). I admit I was never interested in exploring this connection but now it seems it became unavoidable to 'face' it due to some of my OBEs it seems. I do not really like this fact though since I wanted to focus on my Higher Self more than other lives (human or not) and never asked for these experiences. It seems you don't always get what you ask for. 

Last not least, since it interests me, there is the Carl-Jung-based personality test I made years ago and turned out to be an INFJ type, here's the results copied:

"Your Type is INFJ
Strength of the preferences %:
Introverted 100%
Intuitive 62%
Feeling 12%
Judging 22% "

I really wonder how many are INFJs here, too? Would love to know if anyone did the test too. I would assume a few more INFJs round here.
(And here's a test if you are interested: https://www.humanmetrics.com/personality/test )

I think many of us here actually are, well, kind of.