Messages

I'm not purposely ignoring anybody right now and it keeps hitting me how I miss so many of my buddies on here. I guess I should give a heads up as to what has been going on. I got a dog and I loved her to pieces. A beautiful Great Pyrenees. I took her to get spayed a month ago and the machine was not calibrated correctly so they killed her. My heart ached and even now a month later I'm still dealing with the different departments... I originally didn't want another dog, but so many people encouraged me. But nothing could replace my baby. But I fell in love with my new baby too. I took him to get neutered a few days ago and I was weeping with happiness when I picked him up and he was still alive. The next day he slid out of his collar because my husband put it on wrong and he has been gone for days. I have torn the neighborhood apart, even getting the help of sniffer dogs. Even the small bit I'm asleep I try to see if I can find where he is, but it hasn't helped. I can't lose him too. My heart just can't handle this all at once. Please think good thoughts. I need all the help I can get.

Sounds like you're coming across some awesome signposts! There's a few techniques people use at that point including but not limited to climbing up an imaginary rope or rolling out. Or even just sitting up really fast can trigger an exit, though there's always the chance that you will physically sit up on accident. I had an exit a few days ago where I suddenly sat up and it took me a bit to realize I was oob, haha!

I didn't want to change anything. Like the scenario or bend physical limitations. I like them, hehe. Even though I was fully aware that I was asleep, I didn't want to change anything. I dunno... Something about it, I love how real it feels when I'm in that form. I'm a weirdo... @.@ it's all bad, we must be on a similar brain wave right now or something, haha!

I get vertigo sometimes in the physical. Part of me wants to go skydiving... But i actually might enjoy hang gliding more. Part of me is curious to compare. I did indoor skydiving :3 but you don't get a falling feeling from that.

Okay, so either the title doesn't quite match the topic or the topic doesn't quite match the title. I just couldn't think of anything better.

I had an experience last night where I was fully aware and was in my usual form (which has wings/can fly). Flying is really nothing new to me. As usual, everything mimicked the physical, as in Earth physics applied. I gotta work to fly! No floating for me! I love it, though. So, I was up high on something, like a building. A good several floors up. I walked to the edge and looked down. I thought about diving straight down then got terrible vertigo. I suddenly thought "Who? Me? Vertigo? I know I can freaking fly!"

That got me contemplating and wondering the source of the sudden fear. It certainly wasn't debilitating, but it did come as a surprise. I thought back on my previous times flying. Sometimes I do get the vertigo feeling, but as I get more confident and more experience, it has been going away. I thought about the first time I had taken off from somewhere high, it had been terrifying. But after a few times it wasn't scary... that was, if I jumped and started flying horizontally. This was pretty new. I was going to dive straight down. But even then, I had done that before... And from even higher without the fear.

I decided to try it anyways. I mean, what would it hurt? Then I realized what was scary about it... While it looked like I had enough time to safely pull up, I actually didn't have enough time. Well, I managed it, but it wasn't very pleasant. It's not a fun feeling to touch the ground while trying to pull out of a dive. Not fun... GAHHH! I was still alright and actually was impressed with the height I was getting when I flew afterwards.

So, that fear was completely legitimate... Diving too close to the ground is a bad idea!!!

Anyone else have a time you tried to "face a fear" then it kind of blow up at you? Like, it was for a reason and you should have just listened to it? hehe

I've been trying for a time with limited success. (Though that depends on how you look at it). I have been working on this stuff since about last October I guess. I still can't project at will, but have spontaneous experiences, enter through dreams, or through false awakenings. Sure, I have tried plenty of techniques and don't let myself get discouraged.

I can say that my mentality on it has hanged somewhat. I used to think in terms of how close I was getting and if I was making improvement or not. Then I compared the experiments and exits I did have. They were effortless. Sure, I couldn't get it to happen but when they happened it was the simplest most natural feeling thing like... Ever.

So I don't think of it the same way anymore. It's not how "close" I am. It's "oh boy! There's so many ways to interact with the non physical. This is flipping sweet". Haha!

I figure its pointless to be frustrated.

Just like we are all where we are supposed to be at the time with these experiences and its true that Internet works wonders, I don't think the non physical is as cut and dried as the physical. We can hop on a bus and go where we want here, but there's so many factors we can't plainly see in the non physical. Personally I find that part quite intriguing. I often wonder where I will end up next. It's usually more interesting than I could imagine anyways.

If a tree falls in the middle of the woods does it make a sound...?

I have the same problem with lucid dreams sometimes... It's hard not to get a bit giddy, haha! I remember my first prominent lucid dream I had in a long time. I went buck nutty for a few moments then woke up.

I think with time it gets easier to not get as excitable... Because you weren't able to move, thought you were in your room, and heard that thing, you might have been somewhere between awake and asleep in sleep paralysis. Don't worry, nothing can hurt you and there's no danger or anything, but the state is pretty notorious for hallucinations. Your fears can kind of reflect back at you, too. Perfectly natural.

All are mine are spontaneous... Out of my experiences, I guess I phase kind of often. It's kind of exciting because I never know where I will end up!

Besides, all the methods to project are the same at their core anyhow...turn your focus away from the PMR to the NPR. That's it in a nutshell.

Yup... pretty much said it...

I don't think phasing is so much of a "next step" thing as it is, just a slightly different angle of experiencing the non physical. Most of my experiences when I was first starting out were through phasing. I had to work at the RTZ way.

Yeah, at the core we're certainly more alike than most of us would like to view us, but some ways of thinking or mindsets might work better for others. And what's typical or easy for one person can be full circle for another.

Coincidentally, I had one of these dream near death experience things... Well, I've had ones when I've died too.

I wonder if it would be similar or the same.

The most notable thing is that I'm not scared. Sure, the act of dying was scary, but after going across the threshold, it was calm. Not like in an I just reached enlightenment kind of way. But after the fact, it struck me as odd that I was indifferent.

In some ways, it has kind of been like obeing, since I was still there, but emotions were toned down so it was different from a conscious obe.

Definitely curious... I certainly was aware I had died, but it was like dare I say it, it wasn't as big of a deal as I thought it would be. Regardless, I can wait to find out myself.

Hi there! Nice to meet you!

I certainly know that "stuck" feeling. I still, for the most part, can try all I want and feel like I'm going no where. What has helped me, is after trying actively for a while, I would take a break for a few days. More often than not, I would get a spontaneous experience right off the bat! I speak from my own experience, but when I actually do go oob it feels so easy and natural. Not working at it at all. It just happens. Which makes it frustrating because I think the harder I try, the worse I'm making it for myself! Aii! You need to want it to happen, but not try to force it. MUCH easier said than done...

Since you've been lurking around, I'm sure you've read through different methods people use. I'd give yourself some time before getting a good feel for if a technique is working for you or not. Allow it to work.

A viewpoint that I think really helped me is that we experience the non physical in a multitude of ways besides going oob. Dreams, day dreams, whatever. You don't necessarily need to have a conscious exit to have a grand ol time.

When I do actively try, sometimes I can lay on my bed for forever going in and out of vibrations and watching little swirlies in front of my eyes. I'm not saying that to be discouraging. Those ARE good signs. But even more important is the intent behind it. Good luck and enjoy yourself!!!

Made my heart hurt

I sent you the PDF of the first book. It's the same one that's still waiting for the next step. The second book is about half way written. :3

Oh! And I definitely want to check out what you've been working on!

For an update, long story short, my family keeps misplacing the books and thinking it's no big deal for me to just print out others for $20 a pop. Not made of money when you don't have a job. So... 6 months have passed and my editor aunt still hasn't even looked at it. If I can't get my family to even look inside, it's a little discouraging but I wont give up.

I'll be happy to share it with you Indigo!

Congratz!!!!!!!!

CONGRATZ!!!

It's funny you mention the moon. I am going bat excrement nutty tonight. Pardon my censored inappropriate language. I don't follow the moon cycles or anything... and I understand it is completely irrational. But I definitely feel a difference. Like, in a "oh, it must be a full moon tonight because I feel it". But tonight I just can't stand it. I feel like I'm crawling in my skin. GAH!!!!


Back on topic, I am a floater newbie. When I go oob and start hovering around, I really kind of stink. However, under other circumstances, I'm a very competent flier. That is, when I have my wings which is more often than not. But that takes into account physics, the situation, and my surroundings. It also took me a long time to "learn" and kind of like "grow" into it, per say. And just great, now I probably sound like some loon blabbering on. But my mind's in a shifty funk tonight. I'll probably read this tomorrow and laugh.

I think flying while projecting can be overcome with intent. Knowing that you can break the barriers set in place in the physical. You're not limited to them anymore. Like you said... So simple, yet so hard.

Funny again you mention the "were" thing. There's groups of people who think of themselves as weres and such. It makes much more sense than one would think. I have dabbled a bit in different areas of thinking, testing the waters, so to say, since I am rarely human in my dreams. (It's not as common as I thought...) But nevertheless, I'm pretty well versed with different ideas and I'd love to talk to you about them. ^_^

I didn't look at it like that, Szaxx. Interesting. Looking forward to what lies ahead... I really have been getting what I've been asking for. Some night have been more intense and grittier. Harder on emotions. Even some nightmares while I haven't had in forever, haha! It's good for me, though. Never a dull moment.

Good question. It was under deck so the air was terrible for flying and there were stacks of metal carrying crates all over, not giving much room. I'd have hurt myself trying. @_@ It isn't smart to take off when there's not much space to spread your wings.

I usually don't do much flying when I'm young, anyways... Usually have some trouble even under ideal conditions.

My dream began with three teens, two boys and a girl. At first I was a brown haired boy. We were turned into animals and told a mission we needed to complete. Rescue someone from a building down the street. So, the boy I was was some kind of a bird. I remember flying down the street, then changing perspectives to the other boy who had black hair who was a raven. I flew the rest of the way there and landed in front of the door. Now, I didn't have hyper clarity for this one as I usually have when turning into animals, so I did feel a bit detached as I was the raven. I didn't have as much awareness and feeling as say when I was an owl. But it was still cool. I found that I wasn't walking... I was hopping. Haha!!

I tried to stay out of sight by the floor. I got in, I think through a window or maybe when the door was open. It was kind of like a doctor's office. Tile floor, white walls. Little rooms with people in them. Or maybe a dentist. I couldn't tell. I weaved in and out of feet. There were quite a few people there... Eventually, I had to flutter up on top of some filing cabinets and I freaked out a woman who worked there. She thought I was like flying into her hair or something and started swinging at me. I was able to escape. Eeks.

I ended up going through the whole building to where there was like a security guard... It wasn't hard, I just hopped by behind his desk. Inside a closet was the old man I was sent to rescue. He was caged and his hands were tied with rope. I fluttered up to him and started biting the rope to get it loose. He was thanking me immensely. I didn't take too long until he was free and was able to escape.



My other dream was where I was the one who was being saved. I was pretty oblivious the whole time and it was only after I woke up that I realized what was going on. I was a kid and I was in my usual form. There was like... this crazy scientist guy. I don't really have memory of what initially happened, but I remember that I was confused and was having trouble walking at first. Like, it was really hard to stand up. Perhaps I had just been changed and had to learn how to walk again, but without memory, who knows. Now, keep in mind that I was completely oblivious. Someone, perhaps who worked for the scientist was upset and wanted to rescue me and escape. This character was not influenced by myself.

We were on a really big ship. Kind of like a cruise ship, but not really fancy. There were large cargo areas. I remember at one point I was snatched up by the person and carried to one of the cargo areas. I didn't really have any fear... it was all a game to me. The guy that was rescuing me, though, was sweating, heart pounding, trying to catch his breath. He told me that I needed to hide and whatever I did, not to come out and show myself to anyone. He would come back for me. There was a rope that hung down from above. He told me to climb up there then pull the rope up with me. I wasn't sure I could do it, but I said I would try. He pat me on the head and ran.

Now, clarity was very high in this one. And this part was very entertaining. I started pulling myself up with my arms, but I was having trouble getting a grip with my feet because obviously they weren't the same anymore. I tried grabbing on with my toes, catching the rope with my claws... Sometimes just missing the rope entirely. Eventually, the rope went between my middle toes then I gripped on with my claws. Yay problem solving! It kept me from sliding and kept the rope taunt for my next step. I noticed at the top that it was kind of like a mobile at the top. There was a thin metal pole that came down that branched horizontally with another long pipe. Because I was so heavy on one side, the other was risen far into the air. The whole thing slowly spun, but I wasn't scared. I just waited for it to spin to the top of one of the stacked cargo holds and I jumped on. You know, the ones they stack on barges and cargo ships. Like the man told me, I pulled up the rope.

Eventually people came looking for me, but I listened to the guy and didn't make a sound. Once again, I was oblivious to how hostile they sounded. I just waited and waited... Until I think I woke up. I hope the guy was alright.

Funny, I was the one being retrieved? haha!

I did a doodle of climbing because it was kinda neat.

I looked up the Lennon thing after waking up. I probably heard it in passing before, but it's still neat when little things pop up like that.

In this experience and most of my experiences unless specified, I'm not a fox. It's actually kind of uncommon, but it is a pattern nonetheless. My usual form which I have taken in a majority of my dreams for as long as I remember is this: ...
http://s1288.photobucket.com/user/ChopstickFox/media/ryubig.gif.html?sort=3&o=2

All my spontaneous "oh crap I'm changing" moments I've been sharing are into that form or I just am for the duration of the whole experience. Kinda weird... And for the longest time I never shared for that very reason, but I figure meh... why not. There's probably some people out there as confused as myself about it. The best way I can describe it is living in two places at the same time. I've grown up there as well as I've grown up here. Learned to fly and all that. I really wouldn't have it any other way because that form is just as real to me as my physical one.

As for the fox thing, I've gone through phases of being different creatures, some spontaneous, some consistent for some time. I was a dragon for a while which was cool. Then wolf for a while. Then I was a red fox. I think is had something to do with want in all the cases to some extent. Especially through high school, I found others that took other forms in their dreams and wanted so bad to fit in. (I tried sharing my usual form one time and I got bad vibes of "that's weird" so I kept it to myself and shared my animal experiences). Then I let go of the wants because I wanted to observe. See what happened. Rather than always trying to directly influence myself. That's when I started having random experiences finding myself as a black fox. Sometimes it follows right along with kitsune legends which is always fun. I'm a sucker for them.

I probably subconsciously manifest them, but at least at this point I don't TRY to change my form if that makes sense. It just happens. It was probably my belief that changing forms was extremely common that made it effortless, haha!

So do I really WANT to be a fox? Not really. It just happens and I don't complain, hehe.

Sending my hopes and prayers. <3

I've been staying the past few nights in hotels while traveling Japan and this funny bit happened this morning. My hubby woke me for breakfast and I wasn't hungry so I stayed laying down to fall back asleep. But I didn't lose consciousness to my knowledge. (instead I went straight into a false awakening. But my hubby actually had woken me up to go to breakfast in the physical.). I heard him getting ready and I eventually changed my mind. I got up to go with him and stayed in my PJs. He had already gone down, but I wanted to tell him to get me something. I got there and stood with him in line. Some people speaking Japanese cut in front of us, but we just kind of nudged back in front of them. Breakfast wasn't very impressive, but not bad. I started heading back to the room and I woke up for real. Ugh... He had gone back to sleep too and neither of us went to breakfast. I even asked him. Darn you false awakening!!!! Had me wandering around the hotel! haha!

As soon as my head hit the pillow again, I phased right into a dream, though the detail was astounding and used a "template" of the surrounding area outside as well as the hotel. It actually even stared right where the false awakening left off, but now it was much more dream like in elements. Back at the hotel room, I discovered my hubby had a secret base where he had a TV station. He was sending the signal into a country that was brainwashed and had the truth of the world hidden from them. Sounds a bit like North Korea, no? Which he has an unnatural fascination with coincidentally. However, on the screen it displayed Japanese characters. One of the random bits of conversation was that he was playing a segment about the conspiracy of Lennon's death at the moment. I didn't even know there was a conspiracy about it, but I guess there can be a conspiracy for everything. I was really worried for him and at one point people tried to break in. I changed into a Renaissance type outfit because there was a costume party outside (run by my old high school?). Oh well, I went out and recognized some people. However the costume party was like... all poodle skirts. A good "friend" there I didn't recognize. Well, I did in the dream, but not outside the dream. He was blonde and wasn't fat, but a bit heavyset, especially in the chin/neck. He was also a cross dresser. Pulled off the dress quite well, too. I felt kind of out of place in what I was wearing, but he told me that I looked stunning. Really? haha! I felt ridiculous. There were tents out for the festival kind of thing complete with carnival games. At one point I was sitting in a tent chatting with a few people I knew. Someone told me that my elf ears looked cute with my costume and asked if I got them at a ren fair. What? I wasn't wearing ears. I felt them and they were long, reacting with my emotions and such. It seems I haven't gotten over my spontaneous form changing that's been going on recently. I knew what was going on and started freaking out a little. I made up an excuse and started making my way back to my hotel room. I came across my "friend" and he waved me to join him. I told him it was an emergency and had to go. He asked what was wrong out of concern and I couldn't say. Seriously... These experiences just keep getting clearer and clearer. Not just visuals, but I am remembering physical sensations in full detail. Feeling my tail under the dress, my teeth and nails, the awkward moments when it's kind of hard to walk. There were people in the hallway when I got to the hotel. There wasn't really too much hiding a this point. I ran... no, actually I bounded. Running on all fours down the hallway, even making rebounds off the walls. Freaking cool feeling. I made it to the hotel room and I was panting from the run. I entered and my "friend" was there. Yeah, I was a bit confused how he go there that fast. He was trying to get me to tell him what was wrong. At least I had on a long dress. I'm not sure what went on with my wings. I didn't really notice them or think about them until a bit later. I apologized that I couldn't tell him and as we talked, I carefully threw on some jeans under my dress. Usually I don't remember clothes at all... so that alone was pretty wild. Maybe I didn't want to fly in a dress... Don't judge me. I was eyeing the window during this (which was exactly like the physical one). No screen and 16 floors up. Big enough to jump through. The funny thing... I couldn't pull my pants all the ay up because of my tail. Der... Then I made a break for the window and it freaked him out. I opened it and jumped out, spreading my wings to fly. Yup... Then I woke up. At least I wasn't sleep walking.

That sounds awesome!

For some reason when I read the "Oh no, not again" it made me think of the pot of petunias from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Bedeekin called me a transanimal, haha!