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Sometimes my poor memory is a blessing.

I remember what's important, but little things just go with the wind... Most of the time it works out just great.

But it would certainly have helped today... Seriously? All three times I've been to China, I forget how the visa bureau works? I wasted the WHOLE day there... fruitless... Gahhhhh! *ends mini rant*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4F4qzPbcFiA

We might all be scattered across the world, but we have our own little community... family... We are here for you, dude! Its_all_bad made an excellent point that through it all, you've continued being here for us as well. I really can't contain my happiness!!! Toast to you and your daughter!!! Cheers!

The chat room is cool, I checked it out yesterday. I was referring to Lion's comment about Astral Pulse turning into Twitter. eeeeeeeew...

You guys are so sweet to me

I'm so glad you are enjoying it Szaxx! I'm trying to coordinate for my Aunt who is an editor to check it out. I tried when in America, but it fell through. Renewed energy to keep trying!!! I wanna see to it that this baby gets published!

its_all_bad, would you like the full version? It would be no problem at all to shoot it over to you in an email

Volgerie - I really couldn't have picked a better song. I mean... it's just about what I've been telling myself... it's a message I know, but I need to take more seriously, I guess...

Szaxx - It's good you were getting more sleep before that happened. I think part of my problem right now is that I am getting too much sleep. I go to sleep when I feel like it, wake up when I feel like it, no responsibilities... I mean, I try to be productive with writing/music and such... But I'm slowly finding myself in a rut. Then feeling guilty about it because I know I'll be going crazy once I'm back in America trying to put my life together. @_@ Just no balance. I know deep down that I am experiencing exactly what I should be experiencing... it's just hard not to get a little frustrated.

its_all_bad - Shouldn't you be somewhere else? And yep, you caught me red handed.

I think it all gets stored in there, but some are better at accessing it than others.

For instance, my dreams in Chinese, I recognize that the language is being spoken and that the words being said are actual words in the correct syntax and everything, but I only understand what I know. If that makes any sense. I think the language is in my brain and is not limited to my small vocabulary. Kind of a neat concept.

Now I wouldn't be able to imagine later when I know Chinese to be able to recall what was said.

That sounds like wow.

You're gonna be a dragon? At the great wall? A bit cliche...

That would be very nice and optimistic. But such terrible things can happen to such amazing good people...

Pure intentions doesn't protect you from life, at least in some ways... @_@ I think you know what I'm getting at... And I know this physical life isn't everything... but... gah... I can't communicate correctly right now.

I think I'm pretty good at staying positive when I don't see any progress. I know everyone is right where they need to be. Things will happen when we are ready for it. But sometimes, I admit, it is frustrating for me. All this talking of intent and want. Yes, I want with all my heart. I can intend with every inch of myself. I know there is nothing to fear. So why can't I trick my body into falling asleep? Why can I never reach the point that sleep paralysis hits? I can watch the pictures in my mind swirl about, weaving in and out of little narratives. I feel myself on the brink. I stay relaxed and let it come. But then there's nothing.

I asked my guide today, after teetering on the bridge for quite a long time. Why was it that I could never pass that point? Again I was reminded that everyone is right where they are supposed to be. Experiencing what they're meant to experience. But why? If I'm not doing anything wrong... Then what? Am I supposed to just be satisfied? Such amazing experiences right there out of reach? He smiled and replied "que sera sera" What will be will be.

I got up, not wanting to lay there anymore. Grabbed my guitar and played the song of the same name. I had forgotten about it and how beautiful it was... I know I should be thankful for all the wonders and experiences I do have, though never from a completely wakeful state... and I am thankful. But sometimes it can be hard, too.

I really need to grow up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxewJrCjTbA&feature=youtu.be

Welcome and enjoy!

eeeew Twitter. I was just thinking for a way to chat in real time with people since it can be irritating to refresh the messages screen every few minutes. I find that I miss them all the time. Some sort of chat thing would be much easier, I think. I'll check that out!

I have no idea if anything like this would be possible or even plausible, but quite a few times I have thought "oh, wouldn't it be great if this forum had a messenger?" I know it's not that hard to ask for external messenger usernames, but everyone uses something different and to have all these different programs running on my computer just to see if someone is online is a bit annoying.

Like I said, I don't even know if it is even possible because after all, this is a forum, but I thought I'd mention it.

*guiltily steps forward* I know I should have just ignored it... But I couldn't resist :3

I'm lost, but whatever you're talking about, it sounds exciting!

Wow, haha! That's pretty great!

I dunno, I find the whole idea of gambling bleh. Last year my friends and I went on a cruise and some of them were excited to be able to gamble just for the sake of gambling. One guy put like... $50 down? Lost it in 2 seconds. My husband wanted me to just give it a shot so I put a few quarters in. Lost them in a few minutes. I just don't get it. @_@

This meat based machine is the most efficient machine that you could imagine. It can extract everything it needs from very little. It is much more effective at knowing what it needs than you are thinking it does.

Well said! haha!

It means you deserve a cookie

If you believe you are susceptible, chances are you will experience something negative :/

Are you talking in the astral? You are power. Weren't you just talking about limitless energy? We all have that potential. It is innate. We just build barriers around ourselves, call it belief, fear, what have you. We construct these problems we face and we are the ones who have the ability to tear them down.

Or maybe I'm just not following where you're going with this.

I'm sure the really nasty bits they don't share, haha

Oooh, I liked that.

Terminology has potential to be helpful, but is certainly not required.

I used to stress about money... Sometimes I catch myself. It can be hard not to as a college graduate with a excrement job and student loans which payments rival your paychecks. I'm fortunate that I'm not very needy and I've never reached the point of struggling to feed myself.

Even if the option was there, it would feel wrong of me to do something like look up lottery numbers. That's a personal thing, though. I would feel like I was abusing the gifts given to me.

Morality aside, once I stopped stressing so much, life has been well... for one thing a lot less stressful. Without that burden, I've found that riches have found me. Not only monetarily either. I hope things get better for ya!

My terminology? I guess since I was raised in Florida and my dad had a boat, I would have picked it up. Between that, books, and movies, hehe.

It was the USS Intrepid which is in NYC.

He has some amazing insights and I love how he is constantly reminding us to go and see for ourselves and not to take his word for it.

That's a very good view to have.