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1  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / The GATEWAY Expierience on: April 14, 2005, 06:40:28

I take it you're talking about TMI's Gateway Experience--Wave 1, Wave 2 and so on? I ordered them over fifteen years ago and benefited greatly--mainly in learning how to better focus my attention within and how to use the imaginative/visual powers we're all born with. I did start to get some interesting results on a number of levels but I don't think I'd be doing you a favor by introducing what I experienced. Go into it fresh, with as little outside influence as possible.

Have fun Cheesy

2  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Another meeting/adventure with the Golden Beings on: October 12, 2003, 19:35:06
Hi everyone,

This morning, in wanting to shift my attention and go within, I could feel that all that was needed this time was a sufficient relaxation, and simply recalling the feeling of being relaxed did it. My body instantly lost it's normal tension and it felt as if I was then sinking into a nice blissful state.

As I thought of where I wanted to be or whether to do a retrieval, I realized I hadn't consciously been with the guys I call the Golden Beings for some time. I think it was around two years ago when I began placing the intent to go beyond the known focus levels--I wanted to communicate with nonhuman intelligences--and these guys were among several I encountered. To this day they remain intriguing, as their presence is so passive (it's unthinkable to impose themselves on other life forms) and yet they're full of ideas and knowledge and always eager to share what they know, even when they understand it's difficult for me to grasp stuff. I've ended up in encounters with them that produced the unexpected, which I enjoy. So once again, as I saw them in my mind and simultaneously brought to me the over-all feeling I'd always experienced when visiting with them, it was a matter of seconds before I could sense and then see them nearby.

As I greeted them by feeling a happiness in being with them again I got their simultaneous and warm hello. And they immediately asked if I wanted to proceed with an adventure that I had requested and had been pulled away from over a year ago. Just to backtrack, the last time I had been with them, after discussing things of interest I had asked if I could take a peek at their world, or home, or wherever/whatever it was they traveled and/ or lived in. I was excited to say the least, and as I was on the verge of following that curiosity with them I was stopped by the sudden, unmistakable presence of my deceased Mom. She was off to my right, communicating a need for me to accompany her to help someone in the afterlife. I had never felt her presence more strongly as I did right then, which astounded me. I'm always willing to help out, especially when it involves her as her visits are infrequent, but I had to ask her, "Why now?!" I could feel the Golden Beings waiting as my Mom continued her request, and to pull me away from what undoubtedly was, for me, an exciting moment, she let me know that her grandmother, my great grandma, was ready to leave a world within the Belief System Territories and it was important we be there for her. I said adios and left (and that retrieval ended up dashing some preconceived notions I had held as well). So, this morning, I was being reminded of an old wish and I was amazed because it felt as if the Golden Beings hadn't experienced the span of around a year, since I had last interacted with them. They were picking up right where we had left off. It's one thing to believe that time is relative--and another to actually feel/experience this from others who don't seem to dwell within such a concept (lol). My response was, Yes!, and I detected a trickle of amusement from them.

They then proceeded to disband or become single golden rods as they formed a circle with me at the center. When I say disband, I mean they're usually a group bunched or banded together...tall, slim, golden rod-like things. When I initially encountered them I assumed each was an individual, and in a way they are, but they refer to themselves as, "We", a whole unit that seems to function more along the lines of one entity, and yet they're separate too. Anyhoo, they said to just relax and suspend all assumptions or preconceived notions--in other words, relax. So I did and the next thing I was aware of was a huge whiteness expanding all around us. For a moment it felt as if we were inside something and I joked to myself that it felt like being in a Costco warehouse. But the feel of expansion continued and we were just in a vast whiteness. They said the white nothingness was my interpretation--that my ability to perceive was being stretched to its limits. They said it was their universe/space, along the lines of the universe/space I call outer space. This was their 'home', which traveled with them...just as vast and full of life as my universe was to me. They then said that it, their universe, didn't actually travel around...that it was always present with them, as every other 'universe' was also. Wherever they sent or focused their attention, their home or universe was ever present. I could only pick up on vast white nothingness at this time because it was basically impossible to understand their world from my limited abilities. I said that it felt as if I was seeing and feeling a 3D whiteness simply because all my mind could offer at this time was a complete opposite of what I was use to. I felt their answer to be the equivelant of a human smile come back at me. They then followed up by communicating that the concepts I was understandably holding onto, such as spatial, distance, linear time, solidity, the five physical senses--or even wanting to 'see' with the mind's eye for that matter--was what kept me from being able to really perceive their world.

For some reason I switched gears and asked them if they ever experience joy (remembering that they had said they didn't have human emotion in their existence) and they repeated what I had learned from them previously. I briefly remembered asking, in another visit, out of frustration in not being able to comprehend much of their world or existence, what they did to keep from getting bored. I had fully expected some kind of wise or esoteric answer, but was blown away when they all had paused (several seconds), with one of them finally asking a fellow Golden Being what "bored" was, truly having no idea what I was talking about. When I tried to explain the word they had trouble understanding!--(lol!).

I then expressed a desire to better understand 'their universe' we were apparantly in and surrounded by, and asked for their assistance. They have helped me in the past with visual aids--much like suddenly being able to watch a short movie, something I could obviously relate to. And I was then looking at a large, transparent bubble...and I understood that it housed a 'universe'. Then I was seeing what looked like thousands of these bubbles clustered together. I was told that even this 'visual' wasn't entirely correct because my concept of bubbles involved separate bubbles floating independently, or attaching themselves to others, but always being individual bubbles complete with a boundary or spherical casing. In essence, 'universe bubbles' had casings or boundaries and yet they didn't. I was then seeing all these slightly iridescent spheres superimposed over one another, intermingling, all one and yet each unto their own. I asked if there was a lot of traveling, so to speak, between universes, and they said of course, as if it was normal. I then had what I call a brief 'knowing flash' of what they were showing me--where I'm suddenly either more aware or able to better understand (it's a strange feeling and difficult to descibe, but you just suddenly *know* something, and you can't logically explain how), only to have it slide right back out of my awareness. I could feel they knew I was struggling a bit as I finally said that, yea, I sorta got it...and I laughed.

It felt as if I was stretched to the limit, so I changed the subject and thought I'd toss them something different, just to see what would come back. I asked them, throughout their interest and study of the Earth Life System, who did they feel was perhaps the most advanced person(s), the wisest of souls. At that point I was completely expecting they would point out a human or a human group, and was so surprised at their answer that I coped a mild attitude--:o). Before me, a short distance away, was a visual of the upper half of a large gorilla, just staring back at me with a benign expression. Now I love and have so much respect for the animal kingdom, and have always believed they were more properly connected with life in matters that were important, opposed to humans...but I thought what I was seeing was silly and said so. I said something like, "Ah c'mon--a gorilla? Please.....". The gorilla was still there so I let all of it go, not just that visual but where I was--as well as the Golden Beings--I just let it all go, asking for better understanding. I wanted my perceiver to give me a better interpretation. When I opened my awareness again nothing had I let it all go again only to have the vast 3D whiteness, as well as the gorilla, not only reappear but there was something that felt fixed about the environment--in a way that said what I was being shown was basically correct. As I struggled with this--thoughts flooding in about why I was so shocked at this information, why did I think that only humans had exclusive rights to intellect or wisdom?--I was told that the gorilla lived a multidimensional existence. Other animals did too (it felt as if the Golden Beings were saying that this was much more common in the animal kingdom than in the human). They could not only 'see' auras around living things but could actually go further and see other life forms in their true energy essence whenever they wanted (I was told this was a good way to know what was good to eat--the more energy a plant had the better feast). I was then treated to what felt like looking out at a world through the eyes of a gorilla...and saw leaves go from looking like leaves to being surrounded by white energy to being nothing but brilliant white energy forms. Gorillas could actually be aware of their physical earth environment, as well as other environments or dimensions, simultaneously, if they wanted. Thinking gorillas were slow or dumb resulted from humans observing their state of being from a narrowed, human perspective--assuming gorillas had a limited or no intellect. They said gorillas were thinkers all right, but they directed such processes for the most part into areas other than this one physical, conscious world we humans have decided is the only 'real' reality. Humans disconnected from these abilities that gorillas have actually perfected, because we somewhere along the line entered into or narrowed our attention so much so, into the conscious way of experiencing life (if we can't explain something with our five physical senses then it doesn't exist), that we don't pay attention to much outside that arena. I then said something like, "Usually people revere birds or animals that have some kind of mystical quality about them....I never thought of gorillas." The answered that all animals have these abilities and connection with more than just the physical world, but gorillas are amongst the few who've actually advanced such capabilities.

I started feeling like I was running out of gas, so I thanked them, saying I wouldn't wait a year to visit again, and returned to full waking consciousness...feeling a sense of incredulity as well as wonder at what I had learned.

Well thanks for reading and much love,


3  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Betanya in Focus 23 on: October 06, 2003, 05:24:54

Hi everyone,

Once I completed the 3x3x3 and then sent out the intention to assist in a retrieval wherever needed, I waited only a few seconds before the presence of a short, elderly man with uncombed white hair became obvious a few feet away. He called me by name and got right down to business, indicating he needed help with his daughter.

We were then moving, he walking next to me, and it wasn't long before I then could see the back of a woman, standing and staring out at something, a shawl drapped over her head and shoulders. It looked as if she was making sure the shawl was on securely, as one would do if cold, and she seemed completely unaware of us. I sensed there were trees surrounding us and a view of a countryside in the direction she was facing. I looked to the elderly man and he was staring up at me, expectant, worried but patient. I asked if there was anything he could tell me about her or her situation and he indicated no...that it would be best if he remained in the background and for me to approach her. As I started in her direction he suddenly remembered something and told me to be careful, that she was scared of the spooks. This was the wording I got but the feeling from his statement was that she was terrified of others with bad intentions, that she may have suffered from something like schizophrenia (?). I repeated back to him what he had said to make sure I was understanding correctly and then slowly approached her.

When I was within a few feet of her I said hello and quickly told her my name, intending for my announcement to feel as soft and harmless as possible, but she still seemed startled as she suddenly turned and faced me. I was momentarily hit with a feeling of great fear from her. I forced myself to smile as I said my name again, trying to be if it was perfectly okay for a stranger to suddenly be there with her. Her face was in shadow but I got a flash of her eyes and how intense they were. I was being sized up very rapidly...and I passed the test because she then seemed to let go of a deep sigh as she pulled at her shawl and turned away, offering me her back.

It felt as if a wall had gone up and I was quickly thinking of what to do or say. As I stepped closer and started asking something to break the ice she interrupted, saying I shouldn't be there, that any minute now some really bad folks would be there and I would be in harms way. I asked her why she thought that and she said, with obvious bitterness, that they followed her everywhere and she was 'bad luck' for all who became acquainted with her. I was at a loss again. She was so convinced of this situation she described. All I could think of was to keep the conversation going by trying to relate to her situation, so I said I too had experienced the same at one time...and that I had solved the problem. She then offered a short, sarcastic laugh that told me I had no idea what she was living through (she was absolutely right), and she tightened her shawl and continued trying to ignore me.

Out of frustration I then said that I didn't want to call her, "hey you", told her my name again and asked her name, hoping she'd open up even a little. She hesitated, acting as if she was realizing she was going to have to put up with me for awhile, and finally answered with what seemed to be the name, Betanya, or Betawnya. I said, Betty?, thinking I had misunderstood and she came back with Betanya. I told her it was a beautiful name. I then stepped closer so I was a foot or two away and brought to me as much PUL as I could, and as I then began telling her about a place I knew (Focus 27), I just sent that love to her. I kept talking quietly, feeling such respect and admiration for her just as she was, and she began to shake her head. I could feel she was close to tears as I told her she could live in the place I was describing and never be bothered by anyone again. She tried looking at me but seemed reluctant to let me see her face. She said she could never go to the place I was depicting--where no one can impose their will on another--or any other too-good-to-be-true place, because the authority figures in her religion said she was forever barred from entering. She brought unhappiness and illness to all she met. I asked if it was just possible that they may have been wrong?...and she then faced me, angling her face down, saying she had always been a good person, caring of others, and that she did not deserve the treatment she had received. I agreed with her, asking her to just trust me--that she really didn't want to be so alone anymore...that she could at least visit this place and see for herself. She was crying as I felt her hand take mine, and I caught a glimpse of a face that said she was in her 20's or 30's, dark hair parted in the middle and pulled back. I also picked up on some kind of disease she had had that made her skin erupt in dark patches. The word, leprosy, crossed my mind but I didn't ask about it.

As we began to leave I sensed her father off in the distance and knew instantly he would remain outside of her awareness for the time being. Not sensing anyone else around Betanya and I, still tightly holding hands, began moving as I continued describing Focus 27. At one point we were either riding in or on something and I had no clue what, but felt that perhaps she was perceiving some mode of transportation that made sense to her. It wasn't long before we saw others approaching (we were sitting up high because the greeters were looking up at us--felt like some kind of wagon or carraige) and they were smiling, telling her they too had experienced what she had, at the hands of a religious faith I never asked about, and Betanya forgot I was there as she marveled at what she was being told. She stepped down and was surrounded by women who knew her situation and were there to let her know her hell was over. I watched all of them move slowly away and then looked around and saw her father standing alone, behind us, watching. I approached him and he smiled, seemingly content to not participate just yet but be a bystander. He said when the time was right--meaning when it would be okay or good for Betanya to see him--that he would then step forward. I asked him what country the two of them had been father and daughter and at first got, India...but then he seemed to be describing an area along the Indian border with another country (?). I asked about what had happened to her and got from him that their life had been a poor one...and a disease she had contracted had allowed others in their village or town to cast blame on her for their misery. He felt tremendous guilt because he could have done more to not allow such irresponsibilty to harm her, as it eventually did. I asked if she had had leprosy and I think he communicated about a disease that was similar, as well as another disorder Betanya had contracted (probably from the mistreatment). He said nothing would tear him away from her--that he would wait and he'd know when a reunion was in order with her.

I thanked him for allowing me to help and left, returning to full waking consciousness.

Thanks for reading and much love,


4  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / A Woman in Focus 23 on: September 08, 2003, 01:24:41
Hi everyone,

Once I arrived in the 3D blackness I sent out the intent for a Helper to appear in order to help in a retrieval wherever needed. I waited...and then sent out word again. No one appeared (or I was just not picking up on anyone) so I broadcasted, with emphasis on each word, the same message, thinking that mental shouting would do the trick (lol!). When it still seemed to me that I was 'Helperless', I decided that perhaps I'd go it alone and see what was up.

I brought to mind F23 and how it usually housed people in isolated pockets, and I then re-experienced a general feeling I've always experienced while there, and I was then experiencing a sensation of movement. I was in blackness, sweeping by areas that seemed to be dimly lighted. I then realized I was in an upright position but moving sideways for some reason.

When I could feel I was in F23 and as I sort of started scanning the blackness for anyone that needed help, I was instantly aware of someone crying, below and over to my left. I looked down and saw a woman standing, bent forward slightly, crying--or more like sobbing. The area around her seemed to be made up of patches of fog, some more dense than others, and I knew this fogginess was my interpretation of what was actually a very real 'reality', to her.

Her continued crying made me go into action, by quickly moving down and then carefully making my way behind her, stopping to her left. I asked, almost whispering so not to freak her out, what was wrong, could I help her?...and she reacted by turning and facing me with eyes wide with fear. We were both startled for a moment but I recovered by telling her everything was all right and asking again if there was anything I could do. While this was happening a part of me was open and alert to any information from a Helper and I could feel I was on my own for some reason. The woman stared at me for a moment and then turned away, sliding back into her state of sorrow, radiating a lot of fear.

It then came to me that the KGB was coming for her. In wanting to make sure I was understanding correctly I asked, KGB? She answered quickly, with emphasis, "No--a group within the KGB." I then understood from her that they had killed her husband and she was next. While hurriedly trying to think of something to do I reassured her I was not a part of that organization and she could trust me. I asked if she had witnessed his killing and she said no, he had just disappeared some time ago and she knew he was dead.

I focused in on the sparse room she was in, noting a small window behind us, and then decided I'd tell her I could take her away...that she had nothing to fear anymore. I moved closer to her, picking up on the feeling that she now knew we could leave, and I took her arm and started moving up and away, intent on escorting her to either F27 or wherever it was best for her to be...and something interesting happened. I got as far as say perhaps twenty or thirty feet, zooming at a good clip up and away from her room, and she angrily informed me that it was impossible for her to leave. I then realized she hadn't even been by my side but was still standing in her room, looking up at me as if I were nuts. And like a rubber band stretched to its limit, her rebuke seemed to snap me right back to where we had been standing before I tried my flying feat.

In quickly trying to figure out what to do next I was then aware that we had not been in a typical room of a house, but rather a jail or prison cell. The area she had been facing while crying was made up of vertical iron bars and I then knew that the remaining three walls were made of cement blocks. While I was taking this all in she reiterated that no one left this place... and in a flash I knew how to help her (and wondered if Helpers were purposely hanging around, tossing me ideas, playing armchair quarterbacks or something). I apologized to her, explaining that I had neglected to inform her that all of the prison personnel were gone. No one was in charge and inmates were just leaving. She stared at me and I could feel she wasn't sure whether to give in to her fear or take a chance on believing what I was saying. I then stepped to the wall-to-ceiling iron bars and opened the section that was an actual door, and moved into a semi-dark, short hallway. She was right behind me. The hallway seemed to be at the end of and join two, long paralleling corridors of prison cells. As we began moving down one of these long rows the woman seemed to be astonished that all her fellow inmates were gone. And within a minute or two she and I were moving in blackness, finally away from F23.

My idea was to take her to Focus 27 unless something else came our way, and it did. Out of the blackness a large, white ball appeared and was instantly in front of us. I was suddenly receiving more information about the woman, especially that she was Jewish. As I speculated whether the white sphere, which undoubtedly held a great deal of quiet, intense energy, had something to do with her religion, I watched as she just seemed to merge with it. She seemed to be transfixed, at peace...and she disappeared into its whiteness. The sphere then moved off and away and I remained for a moment, wondering what that had been all about. I asked to no one in particular in the surrounding blackness if she had entered a Jewish world within the BST and got a strong no, noticing a woman--I guess a Helper--off to my left, shaking her head. I was told what she had entered and where she now was had everything to do with her religious beliefs, but it had nothing to do with the Belief System Territories. Hmmm.

Thanks for reading and much love,


5  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / A Focus 23 Retrieval on: August 15, 2003, 23:22:41
Hi everyone,

Once I got comfortable and took some deep, slow breaths, I remembered the feeling of being in a blissful state of relaxation and could then feel my physical surroundings just kind of melt away from my awareness. It wasn't long before the 3D blackness appeared all around and I just remained there for awhile, watching it, wondering.

I then began struggling with my attention wanting to focus back in on my physical life--stuff I'd be doing later in the day--and so after awhile, knowing I wanted to help in a retrieval wherever needed, I sent out a request for a Helper to appear, "cause I obviously needed help too", I joked (just finding it a little difficult to concentrate). Within a few seconds I felt the presence of someone nearby and a whitish, human looking shape was to my right. I felt a sense of warmth and knew the Helper was female. Her presence made me realize I was in a prone position--I had to look slightly down to see her. So I quickly moved down and stood close to her and immediately picked up on her hair...naturally curly brown waves parted in the middle and just touching her shoulders. She was wearing a dress belted at the waist and ending just below the knee. She seemed pleased to see me but she was also radiating a sense of wanting to get on with business. I felt her take my right hand and turn slightly, hinting it was time to go and help someone, so I didn't ask about her attire.

There was a brief sensation of movement and I watched the Helper then raise her right arm as she was looking straight ahead of us. I had the feeling she was rapidly communicating with me and I was missing most of it...but what I got was she had not been able to help someone that she cared very much about. I could feel her concern and desire to want to end whatever turmoil they were in.

And suddenly I was then seeing what appeared to be about a twenty foot ring of white, frantic energy, kind of like watching a circle of lightning bolts rapidly moving upward, intersecting with each other and disappearing about ten feet from its base. My first thought was we were in the BST but got a no from the Helper. As we moved closer I was fascinated and then taken slighty off guard as I realized there was someone standing inside the ring. I then understood that the frenzied energy ring--which I opened up a bit to feel--was a manifestation of the person inside. I had never seen anything like this before and although I wanted to study it more the Helper was communicating that we needed to enter the ring. Because I had felt a sense of wildness from the circle I hesitated, but I then knew it would be fine to pass through it, which we did.

We were then standing several feet away from an elderly woman. My mind of course started racing and I made it stop as the Helper didn't seem to respond to the possible explanations I was entertaining. The woman was in despair and extremely frightened. On the surface it seemed she had created a kind of hell for herself and as I was wondering why she was in Focus 23, in such an awful state of isolation, I think the Helper was finally able to break through my thinking...because I was then seeing fire all around us. We were surrounded by flames that felt as if they were moving inward. I asked if the woman had died in a fire and the Helper offered a slow nod--which told me I hadn't really been tuned into her well until now (lol).

Just as I began hurriedly wondering what to do, as if superimposed over that mental question, came not only the idea to appear to the elderly woman as a fire fighter, but I was instantly wearing a heaviness that said 'fire fighting gear' to me. I moved quickly to her and could see she had her hands on her face and she was terrified. I sensed a lot of roaring noise and so shouted to her, "Fire department! Fire department!" As her eyes moved to me I could feel her suddenly take in my presence, but she was paralyzed to the spot so I picked her up. I kept repeating we were there to get her out as she remained stiff, slumping a little over my shoulder.

Once out of the circle she sat down on something I couldn't see (the surrounding area was all blackness) and still seemed to be in shock but also relieved she had been rescued. The Helper then approached her--and I didn't have to offer introductions--the elderly woman could not only perceive her but knew her. They embraced and I backed away, sensing the elderly woman was crying about her home burning down.

A minute or two later the Helper then moved toward me as I watched more Helpers surround the elderly woman, and she answered my silent questions: she had been the woman's daughter at one time. Her mother, in that time frame (which I sensed was around the middle of the last century), had pushed her family out of her life to the point she ended up living alone in her old age, anxious and troubled about what such behavior would bring her once she died. I thanked her for including me in the retrieval and eventually moved away from the scene, glad as all get-out the older woman was finally out of that situation.

Well, thanks for reading and much love to all,


6  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Party Town in the Belief System Terrirtories on: July 29, 2003, 21:41:45

Hi everyone,

While waiting in the 3D blackness I requested to meet with a Helper in order to help in a retrieval wherever necessary. Within a few seconds I saw a person off in the distance approaching slowly, wearing what looked like a huge sombrero. As they got closer I thought to myself this was weird and dismissed what was happening, sending out another request for a Helper. I then had a clear image of a male standing within ten feet of me, on the tall side wearing a white shirt and pants, with the kind of exaggerated sombrero sold in tourists shops in the Southwest. His grin suggested he was enjoying my confusion. There are times when I don't like being kept in the dark, so to speak, and as I was wondering what this meant (were we going to visit with someone who use to live in Mexico? A battle scene from perhaps the Alamo or something?) I tried to stop myself from laughing out loud as the Helper moved his torso in a way, suggesting, "Don't I look great?". I said sure, and then started laughing anyway as he continued staring at me with eyes filled with mirth. "Does this have anything to do with retrieving?" I asked. I could then feel him drop his facetiousness as his smile indicated warmth, and he answered with, "Yes, let's go."

We were then moving through blackness and within a few seconds I was experiencing what I guess was a wall, or a wide band of the energy of a certain place and knew we were somewhere in the Belief System Territories. I paused for a moment to kind of analyze the energy because it didn't feel heavy or incredibly loaded with negativity--something I often experience in this area of consciousness. I seemed to be seeing a dull, grayish display of static electricity or something similar. I opened slightly and could sense that it was certainly very active but without a depressing feel to it.

With Mr. Sombrero beside me we then entered into the world and were then standing in a long line of people, apparently waiting to enter a large building. Everyone in line was standing in pairs, side by side, one pair in front of the next, and I could feel that all were anxious to get inside. As we slowly moved forward I tried to understand what was going on as the two whitish, humanoid forms in front of us were quite animated...talking, laughing. The Helper seemed to be content in waiting his turn to enter right along with everyone else, so I just observed the other buildings and street, the sunshine, the over-all feeling of the city that wasn't really unpleasant.

We then entered a large area that felt like a ballroom. A high ceiling with chandeliers loomed over hundreds of people wearing costumes. It was the largest party or costume ball I'd ever seen. A male decked out with a mask and cape approached with a tray of martinis, saying, "Oh good--more newbies!". I took my drink, noticing there was no olive, and brought it up to my nose and inhlaed but couldn't detect any alcohol (lol!). The Helper, still to my right, seemed to be enjoying himself as we watched women sweep by in dresses and outfits from unknown centuries, men in everything from conservative get-ups to flamboyant costumes moving around, some dancing. Musical instruments were sounding off somewhere and for some reason it seemed as if a lot of horns or trumpets were blaring. I focused in on the Helper's costume and said something like, "So now I get it. That's quite a costume you've got there." He laughed and said I should take note of the outfit I was in and with that I looked down and perceived a light colored, floor length robe, long colorful plumes sticking out from some kind of hat on my head. I smiled as he grinned in response and he then turned his attention back to the crowd.

We then moved with several others outside to a spacious, open courtyard complete with a large fountain. I was wondering who we were there to help out of this world as everyone seemed to be having a blast. I started asking the Helper questions, such as, why such a world as this one had been created in the first place and understood from him that the people there had intense fun partying, or being anyone but themselves. They absolutely loved 'fabricating' themselves into new personalities and fooling other party-goers...I guess by attending costume balls. He said that if it felt as if we were being stared at it was because many there were wondering if we were actually frequent guests, camouflaged to fool everyone into thinking we were new arrivals or whatever. There didn't seem to be anything malicious in what they were doing, they just loved cocktail chit-chat and pretending...and all the activities and pleasures that accompanied such a lifestyle. For some reason I found it difficult to believe that there were enough party-goers to populate an entire BST world and the Helper said that many of the 'worlds' in the BST were actually small. If one needed to use the concept of 'space' to even determine 'size', some of these worlds at times consisted of nothing more than, say, a ballroom, or the size of a small town. Some were as spacious as a 'world', others much smaller.

I then asked how we were ever going to, first, find someone who didn't want to be there anymore, and second, help them out. I got my answer as a part of me then flew straight up toward the ceiling and returned to my 'costumed body' in a fraction of a second, much like having a really fast OOBE. No one was aware of what had happened except me, and I'm sure, the Helper. I then knew what to do. I announced to several people standing near us that I came from a place where we could fly...where flying was the norm--no big deal actually. Everyone fell silent. I continued with this, allowing myself to brag about it as if it was the most outrageous party activity in the universe. I then slowly moved up off the ballroom floor, floating a few feet above everyone, and then arranged my body in a sitting position--knees bent with feet under me. I returned to standing on the floor next to the Helper, realizing everyone seemed transfixed. When I asked if anyone wanted to visit this flying place, I felt an immediate uncertainty...with the exception of one party-goer. He stuck his face forward between two people in front of him and said he was interested. He was short with dark hair, seemed middleaged...and interestingly, he didn't seem to be wearing a costume or if he was it was certainly not an attention-getter. I sensed he felt out of place and maybe even bored with his surroundings and was willing to try something else.

Without another thought I was then moving away with him, momentarily through a grayish black, and we came to what I then knew was the Reception Center in Focus 27...and several people were there ready to greet him, floating a few feet off the grass and walkway. As I turned to leave I could feel he was thrilled to be in a place of such marvel.

I went straight back to the Party Town in the BST and found the Helper inside the ballroom, dancing. Everyone was dancing, having a good time. He looked over at me and grinned as he was doing a kind of 'bump 'n grind' modern day dance with his hips, holding his arms out slightly, his sombrero bobbing to the beat of his movements. I've never seen a Helper like this before and I just started laughing again. I mean I really lost it. The look on his face was so....human. I breifly wondered where more new arrivals were and was told I had initially stood in line with them. Oh.

I then communicated that it felt best I leave and return to C1 and he nodded, still dancing, letting me know he understood. His smiling eyes followed me as I moved away and before I lost sight of him he sent me a quick message, saying that if I ever wanted to return to Party Town it would be much appreciated. Apparently Helpers were quite busy there.

Well...the afterlife is never ever boring---:o).

Much love to all,


7  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Focus 23 Retrieval of a suicide on: July 18, 2003, 15:29:26
Hi everyone,

Onced relaxed and after sending out my willingness to connect with a Helper and assist in a retrieval wherever needed, I was greeted immediately by one who communicated a sense of concern about someone stuck. They hadn't been able to get the person's attention, apparently for quite awhile.

I was then aware of someone off in the distance, shouting, agitated. As we got closer I saw a man, perhaps in his 50's or 60's, talking angrily to no one. He seemed to be in a kitchen, at one moment sitting and the next standing quickly, having an argument and periodically picking up a rifle and then setting it back in a corner.

I decided to just watch for a moment as information started coming to me, and I understood he was extrememly upset about possibly losing his job. He was waiting for a phone call from his employer and had been rehearsing what he'd say.

When I stepped forward I said hello, a hello that conveyed friendliness, calmness... and he reached for his rifle and aimed it at me. I sat down very slowly, across from him at a table, telling him he had nothing to fear, that I was there to help and then asked him what the problem was. He seemed to be caught off guard that I was there and yet he never questioned what I was doing in his kitchen. He was much more interested in pleading his case with anyone who would sympathize with him. He must have decided I was okay because the rifle disappeared and he pushed a folder of paper towards me, stabbing his finger towards the bottom of the top page, saying the company had 'written him up' for some infraction...and after forty years of devoted service he was convinced they were harrassing him, being unfair. I nodded and told him it seemed at times corporations didn't appreciate their workers. I asked what he did at the job and was immediately seeing what appeared to be the inside of a manufacturing plant: lots of large machinery clanking and operating. The macines were producing large rolls of wide brown paper and he then said the company manufactured butcher paper, as well as other paper products. He had worked his way up through the years and was entrusted with maintenance--to make sure everything ran smoothly and on time. We talked a little more about about how unfair it all was, as I rapidly wondered what to do and silently asked for advice from the nearby Helper. The man had calmed down a bit but was starting to get angry again.

I then diverted his attention by saying that I had a friend with me who had helped in a similar job situation I had experienced awhile back. He was with a non-profit organization, a mediate agency of sorts, and he'd be willing to talk with his employer on his behalf. I told him he had a good track record for helping employees to keep their jobs. I then held my left arm out as the Helper approached and watched as he held his right arm out over the table to shake the man's hand. He (the man stuck)hesitated, asking if the mediator was really a lawyer and I said no. They shook hands and the Helper was then discussing something with him and I backed away, knowing everything was going to be okay.

Within a minute or two he left with the Helper and I stayed, staring at the empty kitchen, wondering what had brought the man to be there in such isolation. I then sensed someone to my left and another Helper offered a willingness to answer any questions. What I then got was that the man had actually lost his job when in the physical, been fired...and had committed suicide at home. His life long position with the company had basically been his whole life (having been fired was an all out attack on his self esteem) and he had gotten to the point where he wanted his suicide to provoke guilt in his employer. In a final moment of depression, rage, and need for revenge, he had killed himself, thinking such an act would be some kind of retaliation. I found it interesting that he had ended up in a situation where he was under the impression he was still employed, preparing to fight his if actually losing his job was something he just couldn't face.

I thanked the Helper, knowing the man was okay now, and then headed out to check on a friend.

Thanks for reading and much love,


8  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Joke's on me! on: July 06, 2003, 22:05:03

Hi everyone,

While relaxing in the 3D blackness the other day a round area to my left suddenly materialized that felt like deep indigo (it was darker than the surrounding grainy blackness). I focused in on it--having already decided that I wanted to go to a place in F27 I had never been before--and without any sensation of movement, without any sense of having arrived anywhere, I was then just peering into a rich blue-black. I then perceived someone direct at me, in a lazy, singsong fashion, "Yoohoo"...and I mentally said to myself, "Yoohoo?!?", feeling the greeting was for some reason strange or out of character. I don't know why I thought that, but I wanted to laugh as well as immediately find out why someone would offer such a casual, sort of familiar greeting. I then sensed several were around me and a few were giggling, others stifling laughter at my wondering about the "Yoohoo". I then announced that I couldn't 'see' anyone--all was still that luxurious blackness. I was really intrigued about who I was with and why I was feeling a little confused. Someone then communicated for me to bring the feeling of love to me, in order to perceive better, which I then did.

Within a few seconds I was then looking up at a huge, long, rectanglar glass ceiling perhaps 300 feet high, comprised of glass panels curving down part way to the flooring. It was made up of what appeared to be glass panels of clear and colored or stained glass. The stained glass portions were more geometric, or curving shapes that didn't resemble anything I've seen in cathedrals, homes etc. I stared at them, sensing a familiarity but beyond that I was clueless. Sunlight streamed in, illuminating the vast room in soft, milky colors...and I then realized the room itself must have been as long and as wide as perhaps a few football fields. The place felt ancient, walls comprised of thick, ornately carved wood...upholstered chairs, small tables scattered here and there, people occasionally having I guess coffee (or that's what came across). It felt kind of like a library but not quite. Some had been sitting, talking, discussing. Everyone appeared as gold-white, oblong energy shapes.

As I took all this in, in a matter of seconds I was also getting information from those standing near...they knew me and were finding it funny that I was not remembering them. I froze when this hit me...and I asked if I had understood them correctly. This generated a few more laughs (I never felt I was being 'laughed at--just people who knew and understood my predicament). I could feel others were smiling at me, waiting for me to have something dawn into my awareness...and it did. I then knew I was a frequent visitor there, apparently while asleep, and this got ME laughing. I said, "You're kidding!"...and they said nope, enjoying the moment immensely. So I thought this through, thinking it was indeed rather hilarious: there I was struggling to recall a place that I actually knew quite well on another level. I started giggling as I could feel myself take in more and more of a specific kind of feeling that belonged to either the place and/or the people surrounding me, and although it did feel familiar I still couldn't put it into words or really make it my own yet. I had to ask if some there were in my shoes, meaning were some also currently inhabiting a physical body? I got a strong yes. One of them answered that many were not, many were. I asked if anyone, still currently involved with a physical life, visited Bruce Moen's website and three to my right, one almost in front of me and several over to my left indicated yes...and a few made a point to not start laughing again. I asked if some came from various countries, from using different methods of accessing the nonphysical and got a strong yes (I was thinking of this forum, Astral Consciousness, when I asked). And so...I had to ask, "So who ARE you guys?!" No one communicated a thing but I sensed they were holding back for a reason and found my arrival a good form of entertainment. I then said, "Okay...I bet that you knew I was coming here at this time, and that a greater part of me did too, and that it would be understood that I'd be going through this amnesia game." One said many of them had gone through it too and that basically yes, it had been agreed upon that I'd do this. I asked if there was some measure of value in this amnesia game and got more knowing smiles. I had to laugh because I could feel in them a desire to want to explain and yet it was for me to 'wake up to' much was for me to actually become aware of, in order to really come to 'know'. So, they held back.

I then noticed at some distance away in the great entrance or hallway an extremely bright energy shape appear, followed by several others, and begin to move towards us. There was absolutely no feeling that this person was revered, or in some kind of position of authority. He/she was just another member or inhabitant of this place. Stopping within around ten feet of me I instantly sensed female, then male...and settled on neither, or perhaps both (lol). No one was in charge there. Such a way of thinking didn't exist. Everyone waited patiently while I thought this out and when my attention was back with them the bright person indicated for me to follow...that we would take a stroll. Several of us then followed, from where he/she had originally appeared and we were soon at a thick wooden door.

We were then passing out into a tropical setting: a congested row of various trees extending as far as the eye could see to our left. A curving stone path led away through soft grass, meandering in and out of shade from trees bordering the building (which I noted was made of large blocks of what appeared to be granite or white-gray stone), and eventually to a large open garden area full of roses. An area to my immediate left was full of blue roses as well as several various flowers...all blue. As we continued slowly walking along the path I briefly knelt and inspected a white rose to my right, taking in other roses and flowers. At one point I looked back and could see the glass ceiling rising above the lush garden setting, in a golden mistiness, sunlight glinting off the tranparent panels. All was so peaceful there.

The bright person started communicating a few things, such as the fact that this F27 place was quite old indeed. Many there speculated on why the complex had been created by inhabitants now long gone. People, whether still inhabiting a physical body or not, were usually drawn to this place for the simple fact that they were coming to the end of experiencing lives in the physical. Anyone could visit and/or stay there, but usually those resonating with this idea felt comfortable there. It wasn't the only place for such people, perhaps one of several--I don't know. He/she also communicated something about the plant life we were walking through, saying it was there as a reminder, a fond memory of earth existence, and also viewed as living beings that certain members would actually take with them when they exited the ELS. Some of the flora, I was told, I wasn't familiar with. There was a strong sense that a number of things were being preserved there. I asked where the daffodils were and was told to include some in the vast garden, which I did. I asked the person what the permanent as well as the still-in-the-physical inhabitants did there...and was answered with, "A lot of contemplation, learning, discussion, relaxing, being with like-minded people." I said I had sensed a part of the building was like a huge library and was told that was true. It was much more than that but the idea of a 'library' partially fit. I then asked the person their name and got back, "Amelia...that will work, Amelia." I could feel she was about to crack up right then and there (for some reason I felt the name didn't seem right) and she continued with the fact that she really didn't identify with male or female that much, but that Amelia would suffice for now, if I needed a name for her.

As we eventually made our way back I commented that the place felt liked a conservatory and asked if that was accurate. Amelia paused and stated that such a word fit rather nicely. Once back inside the building I asked for the names of some of the others there and was told that, yes, the use of names was a way to identify others, but that for the most part they simply weren't used there. Each person's unique 'energy-essence' was their 'true name'. She then indicated, by moving her arms in a flowing kind of motion, that any given name (such as my name) was a part of or included in a person's over-all unique energy---and it was in the feeling of that energy that offered an instantaneous knowing of each person. So, names as I'm accustom to, basically, were a slow or out-dated method for identification. I decided to give up on names at that point (lol).

I began to feel my time was up and in offering a goodbye to everyone I paused, started laughing and said, "Guess I'll probably be seeing you later on...when I fall asleep?" I could feel a lot of smiles...and I couldn't help but wonder if those grinning the most had already been through the 'amnesia game' themselves. As I walked out through a wide entrance and turned to face everyone I was then suddenly being propelled upwards at a rapid pace. I watched the conservatory rapidly shrink and I decided to return to C1.

Does anyone feel they may have been to this F27 'think tank/conservatory' place---even if it may have appeared differently but the purpose there seems familiar?

Thanks for reading and much love,


9  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / a F23 retrieval and a bit more on: July 02, 2003, 16:10:27
Hi everyone,

When a Helper appeared I communicated a desire to assist in a retrieval wherever needed, and as we were then moving slowly through blackness I sensed  we were just above an area of soil. Reaching down with my right foot I felt solid ground and realized we were in a dense forest. The Helper was female and I could feel from her that she had been concerned for quite some time about the person we were going to help.

We were suddenly moving again, following close behind a little girl. She was running as fast as her 3-4 year old legs could manage. She then was climbing up something, ahead and to my left, and I then understood she was anxious to hide...into what I initially thought was a small earth mound wedged between two trees but as I watched her disappear I realized it was a huge pile of leaves and branches about five feet in height. The Helper and I remained still, the child sat somewhere inside the mound.

I stepped forward, sensing she was frightened and doing her best to not utter a peep, and I made sure my "hello" was soft, carrying a nonthreatening feeling in it. Her reaction didn't involve answering me but I could feel her sudden awareness of my presence made her freeze. As I moved to the base of the 'shelter' I sent out a mental hello again (and something that rarely happens, I was simultaneously saying a few stilted words that I guess were in her language),  telling her my name and that she didn't need to be frightened. I could tell she wasn't about to believe in anything I was saying. I climbed up fallen tree branches and dried leaves and sat near a small opening at the top. I could see down into a dark cavity and told her she must be thirsty...hungry--did she want something to eat? I then reached into a pocket and produced what looked like a wide slab of beef jerkey and held it above the opening. Still no response. I paused, looked over at the Helper who was just watching, waiting. In looking back down into the dark hole I asked the little girl why she was hiding....and I then saw two eyes staring up at me.  She was waiting for her family. I could feel her moving up towards the opening and a tiny right hand reached up and grabbed the jerkey. I waited a minute or two and then told her I was there to take her to her family. They weren't able to come but she could leave with me now. I sensed great lonliness replacing her fear as she thought about this....and then I saw small fingers touch the opening and I reached down and pulled her into my arms.

She was wearing a dress that fell below her knees made of I guess what was animal hide that felt and lokked stiff and dirty. Two scrawny tufts of black hair stuck out from the back of her head, perhaps they had been braids at one time. She locked her legs around my waist with amazing strength, riding my left hip, and continued eating as we descended the shelter. I briefly wondered what time frame she had lived in and all I got was, "a long long time ago".  She then said something in her language and I didn't take the time to open to translate (not sure if I could have but this has happened before) because I set her down and the Helper leaned forward, extending her hand. As I backed away I watched as communication between the two suddenly erupted with a quick flash of light around them as well as a sense of happiness...and I think recognition? I briefly wondered if the Helper was a relative...but in any case they began walking away, hand in hand, and I knew the child would be fine.

I floated there for a moment, deciding I wanted to connect with another Helper regarding advice in helping a friend in the physical. A male figure appeared above and indicated he was willing to help. I moved up and said thanks...and paused. He then said I should tell him who my friend was, fill him in on the particulars---and I went blank for a second or two. Helpers often just seem to know what's going on and I was caught off guard that this guy didn't. I broke into a grin when I thought to myself that they're just people, after all, and I took a moment to bring to me the feeling of my friend, and within that feeling their name, location and a problem they'd been having. The Helper responded quickly with not only a good idea but offered for the two of us to pay the person a visit and see what else was happening with them. So we did.

Thanks for reading and much love,


10  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / A little girl in Focus 23 on: June 05, 2003, 04:33:08
Hi everyone,

After leaving my two Disk/Higher Self members the other day I wanted to assist in a retrieval, if needed, somewhere...and this is what happened.

I seemed to be in a dense blackness and as I opened up to get a feel for where I was I was then looking at a short figure wearing a hooded, black robe. I couldn't see the person's face and nothing seemed to be happening. I did nothing as I could feel something really unpleasant about the environment and I jokingly asked myself what was going on.

I then watched as the right arm of the somebody underneath the robe began moving straight out and up, as if in slow motion. The scene had the feel of a Hollywood horror B movie or that's what came to mind. I opened up to feel if a Helper was around, or if I needed one, simply to explain what was happening. The arm, appearing as stiff as a board, then slowly bent at the elbow and proceeded to follow through with a repeated action that looked like stroking: slowly down and then back up and down again. I wasn't getting any information on what it was all about or who perhaps was on the receiving end of the stroking, but my interpreter started offering possible explanations.

I then had a better sense of the area and got that we were in a room....and then I realized that the person was combing someone's hair. I moved a little closer and then knew that the robed person was a young girl and she was grooming a doll's long, shiney, flaxen-colored hair. I then sensed there were several more dolls around her, on shelves, sitting everywhere. I could feel that the young girl seemed to be in some kind of a daze. She didn't seem to be aware of my presence at all, just continued to attend to a doll as if in a trance. I took a moment to bring to me, as much as I could, the feeling of love--complete respect and acceptance of her--and when I then visualized this energy going to her she stopped. I moved closer to her, feeling she was wondering what was happening...and then I could also feel her starting to slide back into her trance-like state again. I offered her more love and gently pulled the hood back and off her head. She looked up at me, a little curious, confused...and I told her how beautiful her dolls were and I knew of a place where she could have all the dolls she wanted. As she continued staring at me with eyes that said she didn't know whether to hate me or not, I then just knew that she trusted no one...that she was most likely beyond my ability to help her (I don't know why she was in such a robe or why I 'saw' that kind of robe, and I was wondering at that moment what on Earth could have happened to her, but it felt bad--she had retreated to a place to block out memories I guess).

Suddenly feeling the presence of a Helper to my right and worried I'd lose the child, to her ability to block out awareness of everyone, I told her my friend here with me had the most beautiful dolls, and with that she looked in the direction I was pointing, at the Helper. I sensed the Helper was female and as the two were then surrounded in a gold light it was obvious they were communicating and I felt a sense of relief as I backed away. Knowing she would now be ushered out of her isolation I left, feeling that this was one of the strangest retrievals I'd ever done in F23.

I then felt myself accelerating quickly...sensed a different Helper to my right and I knew we were going to another retrieval.

Thanks and much love,


11  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Another Trip Beyond the Earth Life System on: May 21, 2003, 19:56:24
Hi everyone,

After doing my 3X3X3 preparatory process and placing the intent to be at my treehouse in Focus 27, by recalling the feel of the place, I was then instantly standing out on the treehouse deck, aware of a few windchimes playing their music.

I sensed no one else around and decided to go inside, to the center of the house where the huge tree supporting the house passes up through the flooring and out and beyond a cathedral type glass ceiling. Birds, squirrels, butterflies and a variety of insects you'd expect to find living in a tree were busy enjoying themselves. A great deal of light was cascading down through the branches and leaves and I had an urge to climb up onto a favorite branch and allow the tree to balance out my energy. So, after doing that and thus feeling relaxed, refreshed and ready for some adventure, I moved into the adjoining livingroom and saw Om sitting before the fireplace.

As I sat next to him on the couch I could feel he already knew where I wanted to go, his now familiar kindness and humility all wrapped up in that brief smile of his. He indicated for me to watch the large fire in the fireplace in front of us and as I did I could feel him communicating how much as a child I had loved the colors of flames, wood turning into cadmium oranges, bright cherry reds...and for a moment I could hear the logs popping, hissing, shifting. Om's right shoulder touched my left, which I now understand to be a signal that we were about to blast off, so to speak (lol), and we were then suspended in and moving in blackness. I knew Om was escorting me beyond the ELS, to another locale one of our Disk members was/is experiencing and before I could give it more thought we were suddenly in a strange environment.

At first it appeared we were standing in a clearing within an ancient forest. I looked up to see what I guess were trees reaching up to a height much further than I've ever seen trees reach. They felt similar to 'trees' that I've experienced and yet they were different. In focusing down to the ground I had the impression their bottom branches were coming out of the soil as if they were half buried and struggling to break the surface. I had a brief feeling of what it must feel like to be a tiny bug in someone's garden or lawn. My attention was then drawn to several gold-white oblong shapes ahead, emerging from an area in deep shadow. I could feel they aware of us. I don't know if they were 'people' or entities but they were aware of us and I could feel they were not only curious but longing to meet. As I opened up to send a greeting and move toward them I was suddenly jetted straight up and away from the landscape. I could feel Om to my left and twice I expressed disappointment at being rushed out of the scene. He didn't offer an explanation.

We were then in a vast blackness, looking down at a massive, whitish rectangular structure slightly curved and I understood that somewhere within it was the landscape we had just left. Now Om was communicating and I was getting that in this vast area or wherever we were, there were no planets. He said what we were observing could be loosely associated with solid objects, such as planets and so forth in the universe I was familiar with, but in this 'universe' (somehow this word seems so limiting to how the area we were in felt but I have no other means at the moment to explain it) the idea of matter, in any kind of density, didn't exist. Matter, shapes, the concept of solidification...didn't exist. I said to him, "But the place we were just at was surely some kind of gathering of or matter." He answered, "No. It was not. That was your interpretation of it." Since going on these jaunts with Om I've been getting better at accepting being thoroughly confused. As I was trying to absorb this he indicated we focus our attention somewhere else and I didn't even question it, just tagged along as it felt we were then observing something, or someone, else.

Not too far from us was a conglomerate of white-gold orbs or large balls, surrounded by a soft light which contrasted sharply with the immense blackness. Each orb seemed to be comprised of intense, sparkling light---so bright that they appeared to be creating shadows. I then felt a new presence to my immediate right and got that this was a Disk member familiar with this 'universe'. It/he/she was in full knowledge of why Om and I were there and seemed to be content with not offering much more than that. Oooookay.

I was fascinated with the orbs. Om communicated that they spent a great deal of their time creating...creating ideas. I asked if they were creating solid matter worlds and he said no. Just ideas. They didn't get involved with solid anything as I understand it to be. The orbs were just manifesting ideas. I had the feeling that they were existing within a high level of energy...or a state free from limits, a sense of immense intensity as they continuously shared 'ideas'. I'm sure there was much more to their world of 'creating ideas' than what I was able to perceive but that's all I was getting.

I'm not sure when but at some point the presence of the Disk member to my right left. I then experienced an overwhelming desire to want to know what it was like to be one of these orbs and understood from Om that I could do that, but I most likely wouldn't understand most of it. I immediately projected my attention right into the cloud of light and activity and felt suspended in softness. I consciously turned my mind off and just opened up. I could feel my surroundings, which in my mind's eye appeared to be like a whitish indirect light with quick flashings of opaque colors, begin to move around and eventually into me...and I was then in what I can only describe as a moment of Now: any sense of before or after and all thinking stopped. The only way I can describe it is I was for a moment suspended in a kind of nothingness that was loaded with life--if that makes any sense. Om was right: I just couldn't grasp what it was really like. My notion of nothingness was probably likened to a child trying to understand an ocean by feeling a single drop of water. But I came away with the feeling that their entire premise was one involving the creation of ideas that was at a level or in an area of consciousness that my pee-brain would not be able to interpret, much less misinterpret.

I was then back outside the orb cloud, flanked by Om and the other Disk member, intent on rerunning as much as possible through my mind to recall later. I was then getting the information I think from the guy to my right (the Disk member), which said in essence that he/she had orchestrated my brief orb experiment, and that he moved into and out of this area of consciousness at will, in full awareness of this world as well as it's connection with and existence within our Disk.

I was thinking about how the entire ELS was one grand idea and how all of us have chosen to experience 'ideas', when I understood that it was time for me to return. I thanked both of them as we were heading back and as I then felt myself moving even faster their presence was gone. For some reason I looked back and up and saw Om smiling a goodbye. I quickly tossed him a feeling of gratitude and then turned my attention to wanting to participate in a retrieval.

Well thanks for reading and much love to all,


12  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Robin in Focus 23 on: May 11, 2003, 17:36:04

Hi everyone,

After spending some time relaxing in the 3D blackness, enjoying being lazy about where I wanted to go, I then decided to help in a retrieval and perceived a female presence (a Helper) immediately approach from my far right and stop just to my left. I could feel that she was calm and ready to get down to business, so as I briefly tossed to her the 'okay' for us to get going I was then perceiving the two of us moving quite the left, down and then straight ahead. I never felt any motion, just understood we were zipping along as if on a rollercoaster.

We stopped in a dark place and for a second I saw the back of a short man standing several feet away. The Helper got my attention by moving her hands near her face, communicating something to me. At first I thought she was indicating the man was blind as she pointed her right index finger toward her eyes, but I then felt I was somehow not perceiving correctly, so I shut my nonphysical sight down, remained calm and placed the intent to open up to all perception of nonphysical origin.

It was as if someone turned a light on as I could then perceive the man standing on a sidewalk or some kind of walkway, in a state of agitation. I was still standing behind him as he continued hurriedly looking around and it felt he was waiting for someone. I then got  the information that he was actually a child and I moved my attention to the Helper and said, huh? Two more words followed, "Downes Syndrome", and I then understood.

I moved closer to him and as I said 'hello there' I  made sure the greeting was couched in a feeling of warm love. He spun around and  was instantly experiencing a dual emotional situation: he wanted so much to have contact with someone, anyone, and yet he was afraid of strangers.  He was quite short, heavy-set, with a head larger than usual and what I had initially assumed was baldness was a close-cropped haircut...blond-brown hair shaved close to his scalp. I told him my name and asked his and got back, "Robin". I knelt down in front of him and remarked what a neat name that was. He nodded, agreeing with me that it was a good name, it was his name.  He seemed confused, lost and terribly lonely.  He just stared at me as he kept nervously playing with his fingers. I asked if he was waiting for someone and he nodded again. I then got from the Helper that his father's name had been Ed. I could feel from Robin that although he was dying to hug me, he was determined to wait for Dad, so I casually said, "Oh I know your father. You can go with me now if you want. You don't want to be here anymore, Robin. It's too lonely here." I then just knew that he liked riding piggyback so I turned and encouraged him to leave with me. He climbed onto my back and the three of us were then moving away from F23.

We arrived at what felt like an outdoor scene with buildings nearby, in F27, and as Robin was carefully greeted by others I asked the Helper for more information on him. What I got was that he had been born to parents who had felt, due to their religious beliefs, that Robin's Downe's Syndrome had been some form of punishment on them. His mother had never been able to accept him for who and what he was and had felt a toxic kind of shame, embarrassment and had spoken often of God's punishment and hell. His father had been more understanding of Robin but had not dealt with the mother's anger and fears which dominated the family. Apparently Robin had heard a great deal about 'hell' and 'punishment' but had never been able to really conceptualize it all. I thought about the idea that Robin had been so utterly dependent on what his parents had believed about him and  said it was good he had not ended up in that 'hell'. She said his father's benign nature had somehow cancelled out his mother's determined beliefs, leaving Robin in a confused no-man's-land when he left the physical.  Robin also didn't have it in his nature to ever be attracted to any kind of hell. When I asked the Helper how Robin had died she communicated, 'a heart attack'. I then understood he had been a teenager when this happened and as I was about to say that seemed highly unusual I got that at birth a number of psychical problems had accompanied his syndrome, one being a heart problem. I then asked her if his father was in the area and she hesitated...finally saying not at this time. I had the feeling Ed was somewhere else in the afterlife dealing with his own issues and that Robin would be just fine with the people he was now with. I accepted this, thanked her twice for being with me in a retrieval, and headed for my treehouse in F27.

Much love,


13  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Two War Retrievals on: April 09, 2003, 20:20:16
Hi everyone,

After spending some time in the 3D blackness, knowing I wanted to connect with a Helper and assist in any retrieval--if necessary-- connected with the war, I then spotted a small opaque area and focused in on it. I was then feeling a sense of motion through blackness and someone to my right, a female.

When the sensation of movement stopped I was standing next to what my interpreter said was a tank directly to my left. I could feel another type of vehicle to my right and sensed more of the same in the area. No one was around. I waited a few seconds and then sent out a hello and sensed someone was on the other side of the tank, but wasn't responding. I started moving around the vehicle and saw a young black man in fatigues, staring at me..and I could feel he was scared and very confused. I concentrated on a feeling of calmness, friendliness and sent this to him along with telling him my name. He took a few steps toward me and stopped, asking where everyone was. His fellow comrades were gone and he was frightened by this, feeling vulnerable. I told him all was well, that we were there to get him. As he was looking into my eyes I held out my left arm to indicate others where right behind me and the Helper appeared. I moved away as they started communciating and it wasn't long before he left with what felt like three or four others.

I was then suspended in blackness for just a moment and another scene opened up. I was inside a building that had pretty much been demolished. Some of the roof and walls were gone, cement support beams were holding up what remained. I then watched a little girl of around six walk through the room and stop. She looked over at me and I had a feeling she was the child who had popped into my mind over a week ago. I felt instant guilt that I had not followed up on that impression then, but decided to push it aside as she certainly didn't need to experience my stuff.

I smiled and said hello, told her my name and asked what she was doing. She looked down, saying nothing. Dark, curly hair surrounded large black eyes. I got that since I was not a member of her family she wasn't sure about me...she wanted to wait for one of them to come and get her. She seemed to be in a mild daze and yet I sensed she was knowledgeable of what had caused the building we were in to be destroyed. I moved a little closer and noticed she was holding something and got that it was a small doll or toy. I slowly knelt and told her I had a doll too and would she like to see it? I handed her a doll which had a dress with sparkly rhinestones and what looked like glitter in the fabric, braided hair, fancy shoes and lacey socks. Her eyes widened as she took it. She gave me a careful look as she marveled at the doll---she wasn't about to reveal her emotions to me. I then said I knew a nice lady who had lots of dolls, just like the one she was holding, and would she like to go see them? She hesitated, staring me in the eye, and then nodded. The Helper was right there to our left and I moved back a few feet as the girl seemed to be listening to her.

And that's the last I remember as I fell into a nap.

Much love,


14  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / An Iraqi man in F23 on: March 30, 2003, 16:17:44

Hello everyone,

After floating in the 3D blackness for awhile, having already decided I wanted to meet up with a Helper and assist in a retrieval connected with the war, I focused in on a portal and then found myself standing inside a dark building. There didn't seem to be anyone around and yet I sensed an urgency about the situation, so I opened up to hopefully get more information from Helpers.

I then heard someone saying, "May God be with you. May God be with you", and I turned to my left and saw a doorway leading into another room. As I moved into the room it was obvious the only thing that had not been destroyed were the walls. I momentarily picked up on patches of broken light, rubble and a sense the air was thick. A man was sitting on concrete flooring with his back to a wall (I had initially arrived on the opposite side of that wall), reciting to himself, "May God be with you." I wondered if he was talking with someone but got that he was definitely alone...and for some reason I knew that what he was saying was being instantly translated into words I could undertsand.

He was unaware of me so I waited a second and then moved a little closer to him and said, "Sir? Are you all right?" (I don't know why I was using "sir" but it just felt correct and I went with it). I could feel his sudden awareness of me but he refused to look up. I was only around five feet away from him but I sensed I needed to be careful as he brought his arms up to shield his face, as if to say he wanted to be alone (or that's what I thought). He was in a state of complete despair. I waited a moment and then knelt down in front of him and told him we were there to get him out of the building. I could feel he had been injured. As I was about to explain further he became quite upset, saying he didn't want to be rescued. He started throwing his arms around, shouting that he just wanted to die. I didn't move as he became angrier and started crying...saying he didn't want to continue living. What came to me was he had had a life of such hardship and hopelessness that anything, even death, had to be better. He just wanted to sit there and die.

This made me pause and I opened up, silently asking Helpers, since he was so determined to face death, could he deal with the truth about his current situation? I got back a strong, warm knowing that yes, he'd be okay. I then reached out and touched his right hand, intending for the admiration and respect I felt for him to be transfered to him, and I asked, "If you don't want to be in this world anymore, where would you like to go?" His anger and fear subsided as he struggled to soak in my question...and I could feel he knew. He finally looked at me and the entire right side of his face and head were badly torn up. I briefly saw a closely cropped dark beard on the uninjured side. He was self conscious about his appearance, or maybe over the fact that he was injured, I wasn't sure. I began feeling what he was thinking and he wanted nothing more than to go to the paradise he had longed for all his life, the heaven of his religious beliefs. To him it was a place without strife and sorrow, a place of wonder, fulfillment, joy. I told him someone was here to take him there and a Helper was then standing very close to us. All I could see from my perspective was the lower portion of a vague, humanoid shape surrounded in light. I moved away as I could feel they were communicating and within seconds we were moving away from the room. It wasn't long before a blue sky opened up before us and I briefly picked up on a lush landscape, branches of tall palm trees rustling in a breeze that carried a soothing warmth. It felt wonderful.

And since my dogs were suddenly barking I decided I'd best return to C1, which I did.

Thanks for listening and much love,


15  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Beyond the ELS on: March 11, 2003, 01:21:36
Hi everyone,

A few months ago, while at my Focus 27 treehouse, I was informed by disk members that it would be fun or okay that I begin going on short trips with them, to visit other realities our members were experiencing, realities beyond the ELS (earth life system). This was exciting news for me. It felt right that I was to just sit on this for awhile until I felt I was ready, which I did.

In mid February I went to my treehouse just to relax one day and discovered a new person there, in the livingroom. I could feel he had something to do with the upcoming trips and I had some questions...but I found myself a little exasperated that his face was in shadow. I've always figured this shadowing had everything to do with me and my expectations, beliefs?...but still, I was tired of it (lol), so I said loudly to the room, "Why is it that you guys are always partially hidden? Why can't I just see your faces?" And with that the room was instantly ablaze with what 100 lightbulbs must produce...and the new guy was standing much closer to me, with a look of uneasy surprise that matched mine. It seemed that he was just as surprised as I was when the light came on?...or perhaps he was just thinking that I didn't need to over-do it?

In any case, we then sat down and talked. He appeared to be in his 70's, nearly bald, wearing a floor length robe that appeared to be made of an off-white woven kind of cloth. I asked if he was appearing as an elderly gentleman because he was an older disk member, and he said that was fairly accurate. He had a calmness about him that I resonated with..and a feeling of knowledge, gentle understanding. I liked him immediately and asked if it would be okay if I called him OM, for 'old man' (guess this would have been insulting to anyone else) and he smiled and said that would be fine. To make a long story a little shorter here, we discussed a few things and I then returned to C1.

On February 26 I decided it was time to start this new experience and this is what happened.

Once in the 3D blackness I watched for any anomalies and it wasn't difficult to see a slightly elevated one straight ahead. In focusing all of my attention on it I was then where I knew I'd be, my F27 treehouse. I immediately sensed a warm wind (stronger than usual) making the surrounding branches and leaves sway, creating a swishing sound. The windchimes were producing lovely music. No one seemed to be on the deck so as I turned around and sent a "hello" into the house I sensed someone calling my name. Behind me, back out on the deck, was Om standing at a distance by the railing, radiating a happy welcome as he indicated I should have a seat in one of the two chaise longues.

I made myself comfortable and he suggested I just relax and pay attention to the sound of the wind in the leaves, which I did. After a few minutes I then sensed it would be good to pay attention to the chimes and in so doing, one grabbed my attention and seemed to dominate my awareness for a few minutes. It was a deep, resonating bonging that started slowly and increased in frequency (each vibrating 'bong' melted into the next--no silent gaps inbetween) to the point where it leveled out, softened and disappeared. For a second I checked on myself stretched out in my easy chair in C1, to see if I had reached a deep level of relaxation, and my physical body felt like it was a log.

Om then extended his left hand and held my right, we sat for a few minutes just being quiet...and I then got a surprise. An old belief came through announcing its existence with, "I'm never much help to anyone." My reaction was, "Oh boy, not THIS again". I forgot about Om, the deck, everything, and answered to that part of me: "Whoa, wait a minute. I can't have you continuing to hold onto such a concept anymore. Why is this idea still so vital to you?" Answer: "Because it makes me feel alive." I remembered years ago when this debilitating belief, which generated a lot of negative self-talk, seemed to rule my life...and I realized how, in putting up a good fight back then in trying to rid myself of it--with anger, denial, ignoring--I had only succeeded in making it want to live even more. So, I let go of feeling shocked and said I knew of a better way for it to feel alive, twice as alive as a matter of fact! I got back a pause so I continued, saying gently that I needed it to let go of this concept and help me on this new journey. More silence. In knowing that I was the creator of this 'belief', I then felt gratitude and admiration for its tenacity through the years...marveled at its ability to stick with it and feed me the very belief I had originally started. I sensed hesitation...and then knew what was going on and reassured that part of me that no, letting go of this old belief did not mean ' it would die'. I stressed that I actually needed its ability to be strong, to carry a new belief that would enable both of us to feel twice as alive and learn, explore new things. And then I sent that part of me love, a bundle of feelings that communicated into words, "I so admire, respect and appreciate you. Thank you for always doing a great job...and now I have an even more exciting job for you, one I need your help with." And I meant it. I got back more silence and then I could feel it accepting its new 'life', new assignment...and agreement came back, a little tenative but willing to go with the flow. I felt some inner humongous SIGH within and then heard the wind, saw Om sitting near, still holding my hand, radiating a knowing smile. He asked if I was ready to take a little trip and I said yes.

(Part 2 posted below)
16  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / A woman in Focus 23 on: February 23, 2003, 00:29:02
Hi everyone,

Went to the 3D blackness with the intent to assist in a retrieval with Helpers wherever needed. Just kinda floated there for awhile, enjoying how that area seems to calm me, and when I started to feel as if I was going to doze off I decided to get to work. I watched the blackness carefully and then spotted a sparkly area almost directly ahead, focused in on it....and I was instantly in a whiter area. No other info was forthcoming so I paused, feeling that perhaps I just needed to adjust to the instantaneous change of locale.

I then sensed a female voice cry out, "Let me out of here! Someone let me out of here!" Off to my left I sensed a large, square shaped structure and got there were vertical bars comprising the side facing me. I moved closer as she repeated her frantic screaming and the scene opened up more, allowing me to realize I seemed to be in a dungeon of sorts, made of stone, dark...and she was gripping the bars, trying to shake them lose. I immediately said hello and that I was there to help her leave. She wasn't in good shape. I caught a glimpse of dark fingers, bone thin brown arms. The cell she was in must have been eight by eight feet and she squatted down, moving back into a black corner when she became aware of me. She kept pleading, crying she wanted out and I told her she had to calm down, to be quiet for just a moment so we didn't attract attention. I told her my name and she said hers was something that sounded like, Ah-zsaong. She repeated it, including what I guess was her last name, and I can't remember it now.

I then knew there were keys hanging nearby to unlock her cell door and as I grabbed them, quickly deciding which key fit the iron lock, I briefly wondered why I was going through the motions of using a key...having to unlock her prison door. As I turned the key and watched the door open I got the answer: if I did anything else, such as just 'see the door not there', or intend something that would be quick and logical from my perspective, it all very well could be perceived on her end as magic, or cause her to become anxious or doubt me.....which would have increased her level of fear. She didn't move, cowering in the darkness, and I realized she had no clothing on. I took some kind of shawl or long cloth from my shoulders and draped it around her, noting she was extremely thin, undernourished. I asked in a low voice how she came to be here and I was then experiencing a rote, I guess from her. Romans had invaded her village, most of her family had been killed, and she was now in this cell waiting for a door at the opposite end to open and be met with the kind of death most couldn't image. I felt a bit shocked when it came to me that she was considered sub-human, or an animal, and that at any moment she would be forced out through the opposite end to meet with---what?--hungry lions? It then felt as if there was an arena of sorts on the other side, and she was a part of a savage spectator sport. She placed her left hand on her head and began crying as she thought of her family.

I felt Helpers behind me and told her we could leave now. A woman approached the cell door, offering clothing, which she and a second female Helper then took a few seconds to drape and arrange properly over Ah-zsaong's body, making sure her head and most of her face were covered. As we began walking along a stone corridor I thought I perceived noises or other voices crying out and asked one of the Helpers if we were in the BST. She shook her head, saying I was just picking up on manifestations of Ah-zsaong's isolated world. I stopped, watching them disappear into a white area and the Helper glanced back at me and slowed, extending her left hand to indicate I could travel with them if I wanted. I caught up with her, grabbed her hand and moved with the other women for a time. I was told Ah-zsaong would be in a hospital setting for awhile, a place that would match her expectations.

When it was time to go I thanked the Helper and headed back to the 3D blackness....floated around for awhile and eventually returned to C1.

Thanks for listening and much love to all,


17  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / A Retrieval in Focus 23 on: February 03, 2003, 02:57:40

Howdy everyone,

Once in the 3D blackness and noticing a whitish semi-circular spot kind of winking on and off, I focused in on it, knowing I wanted to go to F23 to assist in a retrieval. The next thing I knew I was standing by a pole along a cement partition or low wall...and a car or some kind of vehicle zoomed by, from my right to the left, traveling at great speed. The scene then opened up a bit more and I then understood I was apparently at a race track. I looked to my right and saw a car coming down the track and without thinking stepped out onto the pavement and began waving my arms.

The car slowed and came to a halt. It was small, black, low to the ground (had a 60's English look/feel to it but not sure about that) and the driver was young to middle aged, blonde hair, dark sunglasses. He was angry I was out on the track, waving his left arm out the window to indicate I needed to leave. As I was about to explain my presence there he started yelling, demanding to know what I was doing and to get off the track. I stepped closer to him (noticing I had what I guess was a writing tablet in my hands) and said I was writing an assignment (? and I just needed to ask him a few questions. This didn't calm him down and I pressed on, saying it would only take a few minutes of his time. Obviously irritated, he gave in, exhaling loudly, and I walked around the front of his vehicle and climbed into the passenger seat.

Feeling rushed and knowing he wasn't enthused I immediately went into some kind of reporter mode, asking his name. Peter Farmington, or Farmingham. I asked how long he had been a race car driver and he replied with visible irritation that he was not a racer...he was a test car driver.  Really had no idea what that meant but got the impression he tested certain cars for their potential future racing capabilities. He said that if this was an actual race car I wouldn't be able to sit in the front seat, because there would be no front passenger seat. I pretended to write all this down as if fascinated. I asked how long he had been testing cars and for the first time since our encounter, he grew quiet....and then obviously confused. A feeling went through me that he had not been able to make sense of his current situation, as if he could never quite remember why he was where he was. I could then sense a level of fear grow within him and he changed the subject, saying I probably needed to experience what he did to get a good understanding for my assignment, so we started moving down the track. I stared straight ahead, barely able to see over the dash. For a few seconds I experienced a split-knowing, meaning that I was aware that he believed we were in motion, gaining speed as the car shook and roared down the track, and yet I would have sworn we were sitting still. It was an odd feeling but I just accepted it as a part of his world.

Within a minute he was slowing the car to a crawl and I told him thanks, and that a few people were nearby wanting his autograph. He looked at me as if I were nuts and started  protesting...but I reassured him that he was well known in his field and surely a few fans wouldn't interrupt his schedule. I introduced a tall man with two shorter woman who were suddenly by his side of the car. I got out of the car and watched as he was then signing things they were handing him, an enthusiastic conversation taking hold. And I eventually left, knowing he would be fine.

Thanks for listening,

18  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Permanent Astral Topics! / a Focus 23 retrieval on: January 07, 2003, 06:42:55
Hi everyone,

I got a sudden urge to do a retrieval, in Focus 23 for some reason, and after placing the intent to be in the 3D blackness I just floated there, watching for any irregularity to appear. Almost straight ahead I noticed a tiny circle standing out from the rest of the blackness. It sparkled for a second and something about it just felt like a portal. I focused all of my attention on it and within the blink of an eye....I was still in blackness (lol). I assumed something had maybe backfired so I placed the intent to be in Focus 23 again and I was getting the same black surroundings (if I had taken just a moment to observe that blackness I found myself in, I would have known instantly that it wasn't the 3D blackness--it was a flat, dense black). I then felt/sensed someone over to my right and realized the 3D blackness portal had indeed done its job: I was in a very black, dark place, in Focus 23.

I then perceived this someone off to my right exclaiming something...and then talking rapidly as if angry or upset about something. I moved forward carefully as I sensed they did not know I was near. All I could 'see' was the kind of blackness that is produced when say, in a basement with no windows...or in a cave with no light source. When I could feel an older woman about twenty feet away from me I said a soft, "Hello?", and almost cringed when I could then hear her react to me by apparently stumbling over something. She seemed panicky as she crashed around what I then felt to be a small kitchen with an awful lot of stuff on the floor that confused me. She seemed to be surrounded by many objects that for some reason didn't make sense to me at first, especially some kind of barrier between the two of us...but I just let that feeling go as I hurried to reassure her I was someone she could trust. She immediately demanded to know how I got 'in here'. I scrambled to think of something and said I didn't know...I was lost and I needed her help. I told her I couldn't see anything, it was so dark. I then got the impression of a small kitchen type of room. A window was in the opposite wall behind her offering a faint bluish light. She was thinking, moving slightly and I was able to 'see' her as a black silouhette against the weak light. It hit me then what was going on with her. She was hiding in the dark, protecting herself, waiting to defend herself against certain individuals who had caused her a lot of terror for a long time. Something about her situation (just wondering for a second how lonely this existence must have been for her) got to me and I had to put a lid on my emotions as I raced through ideas on what to say next.

I told her my name, explaining she had nothing to fear from me...and for some reason I felt it necessary to ask why she had all the lights turned off. She became agitated again, and answered by saying that if the lights were on she'd have no way of knowing if 'they' were near. When it was dark she could see them. I felt an opportunity open and I told her, "Of course! I understand what you're doing. I've seen them too and I'm glad you figured out how to deal with them." This created a pause...and she then whispered, "You mean you see them too?" I could feel her high level of anxiety begin to melt away as I nodded. This was rather astonishing to her because no one had ever believed her, whenever she had tried to explain the many visits she'd received from strange, apparently 'unseen' individuals. No one had understood her need to protect herself, to be on guard constantly. I tried to reassure her that we were friends, that she could trust me...and as we were still surrounded in darkness I asked if she could just reach out and take my hand. I told her it was wonderful to find someone else who was 'just like me' and it would be comforting to hold her hand. She hesitated and then finally extended her left arm over what felt like a three foot high pile of stuff or barrier of some kind (it felt like it was a barrier for her), and grasped my hand. She had a strong grip. I held her hand in both of mine and thanked her, telling her I felt a lot better.

I asked her if she'd like to go someplace with me, a place where she would never have to worry about dangerous intruders ever again. She'd be able to have whatever life she wanted. She was unsure...asking how that could be as the tricksters (her word for them) were always able to find her. I explained a little more about Focus 27, and I suddenly knew she was feeling a fearful anxiousness over the thought of leaving her small strong-hold I sent her PUL immediately. Her fear passed and she was calmer, still gripping my hand for dear life...and something interesting happened: I could suddenly see her face. A soft gold light seemed to surround her head, illuminating wild brown hair, a face younger than I had assumed, and blue watery eyes that looked as if they had seen more hell than most could ever dream of. I smiled at her, asking her to just leave with me to see this new world, adding that she could always come back here if she didn't like it there. I got the idea to see if I could somehow pick up on what would be her ideal home/environment, and saw a house out in a country setting. I asked if she would be interested in living in such a place and she stared at me, amazed. Yes, she would like that...but she was struggling to believe it could really happen. I then got a clear thought that she loved to fly and I told her I did too...that we could fly right out of here. And I instantly wondered if I had blown it. She looked at me as if I were under suspicion again. My ability to fly could mean I was a trickster too. She said one of them had taught her to fly (I'm sure she was talking about the OOBE) many years ago and she had figured out how to fly on her own and avoid their assistance. I wondered for a second whether that trickster had actually been someone trying to help her, when she was in the physical?

I asked again for her to just visit the new place and she decided to go...but not before she got her purse!---and she started to turn, pulling away. I didn't want to let go of her hand--I was afraid our rapport would be broken--but I had no choice. She retreated into the darkness, opening drawers, moving things around. I looked down and perceived what I guess were large, narrow, cardboard boxes...arranged with other objects that made up a kind of barrier about two feet wide and running the length of her room. I looked back up toward where I thought she was, when it was obvious she'd found her purse, and she then seemed to freeze in motion. I could feel she was suddenly panicky over the idea of leaving this place, scared, I sent her more PUL. I could feel her awareness of me return and she walked quietly back to where I was standing...looking kind of shocked but indicating she would go. She then said I had to wait a moment and she began to carefully move a section of her cardboard barrier, creating an opening for herself to pass through to my side. She deliberately closed it back up with equal care as if this would guarantee her little kitchen would remain safe while she was gone. She believed this barrier had protected her all this time and was completely convinced it would continue to do its job. I felt tears come to my physical eyes but ignored them as I took her arm, telling her that for some magical reason I could see her now, and that I just knew the tricksters could not see us. She glanced around and tried to smile, concerned she was in the middle of some kind of escape that could end badly.

We started walking into the dark...and soon we were in a place that was filled with nothing but light, everywhere. Before she had a chance to react to the change a woman appeared ahead of us. My lady stopped, staring at her, dumbfounded, and then they reached out and hugged each other. I stood there for a few moments and finally felt it was best I leave them alone. They were still holding one another in a tight embrace and the woman who had greeted us gave me a brief smile and a knowing feeling that all was well now. I could go if I wanted. I thanked her, looked at my friend one last time (I think they had been sisters) and returned to C1.


Much love,


19  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / A Fireside Chat on: December 29, 2002, 04:22:33
Hi everyone,

A few days ago I decided I wanted to visit my Focus 27 tree house and talk with Disk members...and this is what happened.

Once in the 3D blackness I floated for a few minutes and in then observing its texture noticed ahead and to the right a light blue area that was somewhat round. It then felt to be a portal and in focusing my attention on it I was then suddenly just 'seeing' and feeling a whitish area all around me (I'm still trying to get use to this instantaneous way of traveling!) and I knew I was on the deck of my tree house. As I was making the adjustment to suddenly being there I took note of the different feeling my F27 place had opposed to being in the 3D blackness. I opened up to sense my windchimes and got that they weren't making their usual 'wind music'..and thought this was interesting. I then was seeing my deck as if through foggy vision and knew there wasn't anyone there so turned and moved inside the house into the huge livingroom area.

The area was in semi-darkness, a soft orange glow casting about from a crackling fire in the fireplace. I saw two individuals sitting on the couch facing the fireplace and moved closer, sending them a happy greeting feeling. I sat in the stuffed chair to their right, wondering about the fact that in their presence I had more clarity of 'seeing' and sensing. The fogginess and silence out on the deck had felt like an indication they just weren't there.

The person the farthest from me was tall and I sensed he was my Indian friend who had guided me into my last 'alnernate life as a wolf and woman' episode. The person to his right, on my immediate left, was a woman, feeling to be around 30ish with long straight hair catching the fire light. I couldn't sense anything about her and left it at that. Their faces were in semi-darkness but I could feel their calmness, a quiet contentment to be sitting with me.

I asked them a personal question and a mental/knowing back-and-forth conversation took up a few minutes...and I marveled at how stable or real the room, their presence and our interaction felt. No wonder they had wanted a new F27 place for months: for me to finally become really acquainted with them. It was apparent I had somewhere along the line dropped the idea that my disk or any members were more advanced or holier-than-thou. All of us were equal partners of a huge conglomerate.

Feeling comfortable with them and a sense they were willing to answer an questions I had, I thought of Bob Monroe and asked, "Is it true it's considered quite a boon for a disk when a member, while still living in physical reality, or any reality, becomes aware of their disk connection and journey's 'back to it', sort of rediscovers it as if coming out of a state of amnesia (meaning becoming aware and contacting our disk as so many are doing now in this day and age). The Indian said in a small rote which I'll try to translate into words here, "Yes. All that each member experiences is instantaneously shared with the whole." (As I was absorbing this rote I simultaneously saw a mental image of something spreading out from the center of an open umbrella kind of object, moving rapidly along its spokes to the outer edge where members were in the process of experiencing various realities.) "The awareness involved in such a 'rediscovery of one's disk' has a different quality to influence on all members that has a tendency to bring on change." (I could feel within this rote that disk members deep within other realities, or those out on the edge such as with me and anyone else experiencing an independent life, would experience this 'rediscovery awareness' in various ways...but it always brought about some kind of change that perhaps instigated questioning, wondering, or even the beginning of their own 'disk rediscovery'). As I thought about this it didn't feel that this kind of awareness was special or abundant....just insightful that permeated and influenced others in a positive fashion.

I then looked at them and said I didn't know their names. The Indian remained quiet and I sensed he was thinking I was funny. I looked to the woman and got something that started with the letter 'm'. A few names flashed around in my mind and I just let it go. I was getting a sense that it wasn't necessary to have names. So I asked if I could just get a feel for their energy so I'd be able to I.D. them in the future. The woman then did something that confused me...and it happened so fast it's difficult to describe here. It sort of appeared and felt as if she was rapidly changing shape, from one body and I guess from one personality to another, so quickly that it had the feeling quality of when we see many quick emotions pass over someone's face in the physical. I wondered if she was trying to decide something?..or show me something?....keep something hidden for my benefit? She had remained the same woman, in appearance and feel, as this metamorphism swiftly took place...and it was difficult to 'see' this in the subdued firelight anyway, so I could be off base in what was going on with her....but she then leaned toward me and touched my left knee with her right hand. I instantly felt the feeling of my mother from my current life (she died in 1979) come to me and just as quickly let it go because I thought I was misunderstanding this feeling. It came back and I then had a strong knowing that this woman, who appeared nothing like my mother had looked in the physical, had played that role as my mother: that she was or had not only been in that role but many others. Was I seeing now, in this F27 livingroom, a disk member who was offering to me her idea of a body image she preferred, while say, meeting with me? A welling of emotion (sadness over missing her, that kind of longing to be connected with one's Mom) suddenly gripped me and the room momentarily flashed a bright white as I saw this surge of white-light-emotion arc up and around the other two. And just that quickly all was back to the same fire light and semi-darkness as they remained motionless, watching me. I was able to get a grip on myself and not be overwhelmed...and I realized that that pain, sadness and longing for her company was much less intense now, compared to when she and I had had a reunion or sorts almost two years ago in F27. I knew this was a good sign that I was letting go of that 'mother role' she had played out with me...and that I could begin to appreciate her more for the being she truly was. This felt good and I expressed to them that I understood and was happy I was making some kind of progres in that area. I then asked her--feeling I still wanted to at least experience her for a moment as 'Mama'--" are you?" I instantly felt silly but she seemed to understand with a smile. I asked her how that life had been for her (the one we had shared as mother and daughter...although she had manifested what is known today as schizophrenia, she had been a spiritual person and a seeker of wanting to know who and what she really was, as eternal beings). She paused and said it had been interesting...learned a great deal. A lot of the fear and anxiety she had experienced had resulted from beliefs she held then, about hearing voices and seeing things we aren't suppose to see..and that some of those manifestations where from actual disk members. She then said she had been to some capacity an escort or usher to me in that help me get on the right path, so to speak, regarding rediscovering self, our disk. I told she had done a great job. I laughed, remarking she now had long straight hair---because as 'Mom' she had always disliked her curly hair. She thought that was funny. The word Mayan came back at me...and then I got, "No, Mya (pronounced my-uh) can call me Mya if you like: a name I enjoy."

I then asked them, "So just exactly where are disks located in the afterlife? I've always had this image of them hovering out, around and beyond the ELS and focus levels, out in a vastness such as what outer space implies." The Indian answered quietly, saying that instead of seeing disks inside or within that 'space, beyond focus levels'....see it the other way around: see all that 'space, focus levels, the universe' *within* the disks. This got my attention because I had a brief mental image/feeling of what he was saying (after returning to C1 a thought went through me, to I guess help me get an even better feeling/understanding of this: *ask anyone where their dreams live, reside*). "So there really is no 'location' for disks...", was my reply and he nodded, saying, "In essence, location....a disk *just is*."

"Do we currently have other disk members who are waking up, so to speak, rediscovering our disk and making contact as you guys have helped me to do?" The Indian said, "Yes, many." I was surprised and asked, "Really? Who are they?!" He stared at me, remaining silent. I just started laughing at this and said, "Ahh c'mon....who are they? This is fascinating! I'd just like to know who they are, what they're all about, what kind of life they're currently focused in." He then moved forward about an inch from the waist, still sitting on the couch, and placed his chin in the palm of his left hand, staring at me intently. I could see the fire reflecting in eyes that I then knew were filled with laughter. He was having to make quite an effort to not burst out laughing right then and there. This felt strange, as if he was waiting for me to 'get it'...and I wasn't. I laughed, kind of bouncing a little in the stuffed chair out of frustration, saying that yes, I wasn't 'getting it'....what was it that I wasn't getting? (thought I'd try a different angle to get an answer---lol). He continued staring at me, his hand covering his mouth, eyes glittering with orange fire and a wealth of humor and information he wasn't going to let go of.

(post continues)

20  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / B. Moen's Exploring 3D Blackness Chat Transcript on: December 18, 2002, 13:02:30
Hi everyone,

The following is an excerpt of the 12-5-02 Exploring The 3D Blackness Chat by  Bruce Moen...describing what the 3D Blackness is, how to get to it and how to use it to be anywhere you intend, instantaneously.


Much love,


There are some interesting "places" to explore and one of the most interesting I ran across
early on was an area of consciousness I call the 3D Blackness.  That stands for 3 dimensional Blackness.
I accidently :d) stumbled into this place several times early on.
If you close your eyes
and it's easier to do this in a darkened room,
and focus your attention on looking at what your closed eyes are seeing,
you would probably say you're seeing a sort of flat, two dimensional blackness, 2D Blackness.
Kind of like looking at a flat screen image of blackness before your eyes.
I'm not sure exactly how to describe how to shift your focus of attention to
the 3D Blackness, other than placing intent to do so, but
when you shift your focus of attention to 3D Blackness
it's unmistakable that you are there.
There is a definite shift in the feeling quality you are experiencing and
instead of a flat, 2D Blackness you realize that you are peering into
blackness that has depth.
It's like you can change the depth you are looking into it, sort of like the feeling of
looking at a scene with your eyes open, but
changing between focusing on an object that is near or far away,
there is a definite feeling of being able to look deeply into this 3D Blackness, or looking closely into it, or anywhere in between.
There is also a "velvet" quality to this 3D Blackness, like it's both smooth and grainy at
the same time.
Moving your eyes from side to side it's like you can see the velvety graininess going by.
This 3D Blackness is, in my view, a specific, individual area of consciousness and
it's one that can be quite useful for exploring other realities.
The many times I managed to shift my focus of attention to the 3D Blackness I was only there for very short periods of time.
I'd get there and think, Oh WOW! I'm there!  And in the next moment I'd be back in 2D blackness.
I had to learn to relax and just let myself be there once I arrived.
My first experiments with this area of consciousness happened accidently :d) too.
I'd been intending to try to visit some deceased person before I began my relaxing breaths
and then found myself peering into the depths of the 3D Blackness.  I'd learned how to just sort of
relax and allow myself to be there, so I didn't pull myself out of there.
As I peered into the 3D Blackness I could see that it was all very uniform,
the same shade of black if you will, then, as I moved my eyes looking from side to side and up and down,
I noticed there was a small area that was darker than the surrounding blackness.
This caught my attention and I wondered why this little area was darker.  I focused my attention on this spot, it looked like a sort of dark swirl,
I was trying to see it's shape and movement and thought, If I got closer to it maybe I'd
be able to see it better, so
I thought about moving toward it.
  started to feel myself move,
I was suddenly somewhere else.
As I looked around I realized I was near the deceased person I had originally intended to visit with.
Big surprise!
At first I didn't get any connection between these two events.
But, as I continued exploring our afterlife, intending to find a certain person, or visit some area like the Education Center, or other Center,
sometimes I'd find myself in the 3D Blackness, peering into its depth, and looking it over intently,
Then I notice a small area that was different than the surrounding blackness.  Sometimes
this would be a darker swirl, sometimes a small area that was a little lighter,
sometimes just a small area that appeared to be very active, like the blackness in that area was jittering.
or jiggling.
I'd focus my attention on the spot, think about moving toward it, and
suddenly I'd be in the place I'd originally intended to go.
Eventually I realized that this 3D Blackness was sort of like a Hub or central location for "portals" or "gateways"
I imagined it was a place that had tubes running from it to any other area of consciousness that existed.
Something or someone kept helping me shift my focus of attention to this 3D Blackness, or I was just becoming more aware of the process of "going" to the people and places I wanted to visit.
Eventually, I realized that if there was any person or place or thing I wanted to visit or explore all
  You can learn the Art of Retrieval using Bruce's workshop tapes.Order at
I had to do was to intentionally shift my focus of attention to the 3D Blackness,
then I'd say the name of the person I wanted to visit, in my mind, or the name of the place I wanted to go,
then I'd just start looking for one of those 'discontinuities' in the 3D Blackness.
As soon as I found one I'd just focus attention on it and in the next moment I'd BE THERE
Some here tonight have already found this area of consciousness called the 3D Blackness and
by some of the posts on the Conversation Board it's pretty obvious some have learned to use it in the way I've just described.
I wish it was easier for me to describe how one finds the 3D Blackness, describe the feeling quality of it, give better clues that other folks could use to shift there focus of attention there.  Because,
it's such a great navigational tool for getting from point A to point B.
For those of you interested in exploring for the 3D Blackness and exploring it directly,
I'd suggest you begin in a darkened room.
The reason I suggest this is because
there will be less physical light stimulating your retina,
not that it can't be found any where but a darkened room, it's just that
it's a little easier to start that way.
With your eyes closed, take in some deep relaxing breaths, *** Notice
Remember the feeling of being relaxed,
Let memory of that feeling help you relax a little more deeply as
you continue taking in relaxing breaths.
When you can feel a difference in your level of relaxation that's a good start,
for this 3D Blackness exercise it's worth spending a little more time than usual
to allow yourself to relax deeply.
with your eyes still closed look closely at the blackness before your eyes,
examine it.  describe it, feel it,
at first it will probably appear to be flat, two dimensional blackness,
Then, say in your mind,
I desire to explore the 3D Blackness, place intent.
  For information regarding Bruce's workshops, visit Bruce's website: or you may email Bruce at
Then, continue to look into that flat blackness,
move your physical eyes a little from time to time, as if you
are looking at 'things' within this blackness.
At some point you may feel a shift in the feeling quality of that blackness,
for me it's a feeling like being drawn into a scene I'm looking at,
you know how you can just look at a scene and not be drawn into to it, or
you can 'look into a scene' in a way that your attention is drawn to details within the scene?
the feeling is similar.  Wish I could describe it better, but that doesn't matter,
if you place your intent to explore the 3D Blackness and peer into the flat blackness
before your eyes, at some point you'll feel the shift and then realize you are peering into a different kind of blackness, a velvety, blackness with depth.
  You can learn the Art of Retrieval using Bruce's workshop tapes.Order at
When you notice you can peer into its depth you'll know you've made the shift of your focus of attention to the 3D Blackness.
Fascinating place.

As I said earlier,
the first several times I arrived there I pulled myself right back out moments after arriving because
BruceMoen> I began thinking about having arrived.  The area of consciousness I'm in when I'm thinking that way is a different area than the 3D Blackness.
BruceMoen> it's okay.  Just relax and intend to shift to 3D Blackness again, look closely at the
 BruceMoen> flat blackness, and at some point you'll make that shift again.
BruceMoen> EAch time you make that shift take note of the feeling quality of that shift,
BruceMoen> Then, as you're doing the exercise remember the feeling quality of that shift.
If you remember it to the point of re-experiencing that feeling quality you'll probably find that
you can begin to make the shift to 3D Blackness pretty much at will.  For me
BruceMoen> "at will" didn't necessarily mean "immediately" but when I could remember the feeling quality of the shift to the point of re-experiencing it, "at will" meant I was definitely going to be there shortly.
As you learn to make that shift and let yourself just be in the 3D Blackness,
And learn to look around within it, when you can see/detect a small area that looks a little
different than the surrounding blackness, just focus your attention on that spot.
In other words, be in the frame of mind that you are looking at it and looking at if from a little closer position would be better.
Don't be surprised if you suddenly find yourself within some entirely different reality, or, reality space.
With practice, you'll be able to intend to visit with a nonphysical person, human or otherwise, go to the
3D Blackness,
find that spot that looks different,
intend to move toward it,
and suddenly find yourself where you wanted to be,
the place is almost like magic :d)
  About time for me to take a short break.  Hopefully, this chat about the 3D Blackness has stimulated your curiosity and you've got some questions about it.
So, let's take five

21  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Exploring with Disk or I/There Members on: December 16, 2002, 19:09:02
Hi everyone,

Got the urge to go into the afterlife this after going through what has become a quick preparatory process for me,  I placed the intent to be in the 3D blackness and I was there. Once again, in feeling the immense 'space' of the 3D, I wanted to just languish in it like some kind of cosmic hot tub but I resisted this and began to look around for small deviations, or areas of the blackness that didn't seem to be made up of the same fabric. The same old, rather large, flat black circular area appeared dead ahead of me and I rejected it, thinking it wasn't a portal. A strong thought came through saying, "Yes it is. It's one you've used a great deal." Oh. Then another thought accompanied with a knowing feeling went through me, in essence saying that it was one portal I had either made or added to, or enlarged, because of a lot of use. I mentally answered with, What? The knowing feeling came again and I was puzzled over this but decided to look into it later and resumed scanning for more. ** And I just want to say here how excited and grateful I am to Bruce for introducing this 3D blackness way to explore. It's a good way to practice and become acquainted with using nonphysical senses. It just isn't a matter of 'seeing' these portals or areas of instant travel. I have to rely upon feeling/sensing them too. For me that seems to be the key when in the 3D (and everywhere in the afterlife).**

Anyhoo, I practiced opening up to what I was feeling,  what I was watching, in the 3D, moving my eyes as Bruce said to do...look around...and one area suddenly appeared that kinda felt to be in relief from the alive black background. It just had an odd or different feel to it than the rest of the blackness, so I went for it, placing the intent to go to my F27 treehouse.

Next thing I knew, as had happened before, I could hear the windchimes before I could see or be aware of anything else. It's as if they help to ground me once There. I listened to different chimes, some deep with a heavy resonance, others tinkling a light and soft melody. I could feel and sense a breeze in the leaves and branches all around and then I was looking at the wide deck in sunshine, the two reclining lounge chairs...and as I walked over to have a seat I suddenly knew someone else was in the other recliner. I stopped and grinned, asking who it was, and a tall human figure stood and said something in greeting I didn't understand, but I knew it was a greeting of warmth. I then knew he was a Disk Family  (my name for my I/There) member. I sat, he sat...and just as I asked who he was his whitish humanoid figure briefly changed to allow me to remember him ( I saw long black hair, strong facial features, tan colored clothing), and I certainly did. He's the American Indian who's loving reassurance, advice and even a few handy skills have always been with me throughout this physical life. When I focus in on his energy I always know it's him. He reached out and took my right hand and held it for a few minutes. I asked if the' Indian outfit' I had just seen was for my benefit and he nodded. I knew then I'd probbaly not need to see this outfit again as knowing his energy was enough.

 I asked him why my Disk, for months, had been kind of lovingly pestering me to created this new place, my treehouse. I had a sense that this new place was a better meeting ground for all of us and I wondered why my first place, my Park, was no longer going to be used. He answered right away, saying that from the very beginning I had always wanted that F27 Park of mine to also be a refuge for animals. Yep, that was right. And later I welcomed people there too, anything or anyone feeling they were drawn to the energy there. He said all of that was good, and because of the increasing population there were too many energies, energies belonging to others that would have been a distraction for me. This made sense to me and I briefly wondered how busy the Park was now. I then squeezed his hand and said, "What is your name? I've never known your name!" He grinned and answered with something which must have had four to five syllables in it. I got that it was a difficult name to even pronounce. I was only able to catch the last syllable and asked him to pronounce it again, which he did, and I still couldn't repeat it. He thought this was funny and indicated that it wasn't important anyway. Recognition of his energy is what counted.

I could still feel my hand in his and I then held his with both hands, feeling a strong, square palm and long fingers. He felt to be such a patient and understanding person...and I also picked up a feeling of expectancy from if he were waiting for what he already knew was going to happen next. I said something like, "uh oh..." with a laugh and he then gently wrapped his hands around mine and said big change was in store for me. I fought off a brief feeling of insecurity and asked if he was trying to tell me I'd be leaving the physical soon? No....inward changes. Okay. He said something about a new shift of awareness. Hmmmm. I then remembered the desire to possibly venture to the Hall of Remembering in F27 (one area of that place offers a technology whereby one can revisit other lives and who knows what else), before leaving C1 this morning, and asked if going there now had something to do with what he was talking about? I got back a "sort of" from him and he then said I didn't need to go to the Hall in order to accomplish such a journey. I could do it right there, here, in the treehouse. Well this was a novel idea. He said to lean back and just relax on my outdoor recliner...and I couldn't help but ask if whatever was about to happen---was this what it felt like being on a psychiatrist's couch? I got a smile from him and he indicated perhaps it was in a way. Oh boy.

He then stated that all my life I'd had a feeling about a woman from long ago who lived with or knew wolves really well...and that I had often wondered if I too had ever been a wolf. Yep. He told me to close my eyes and be calm...and to just feel what it's like to see from the inside out through the eyes of a wolf. As I did this all became black and I took a good minute to just be calm...and then I had a peculiar feeling come over me.

 I was sitting high up in mountains. I could feel pebbles and clumps of grass underneath me as I moved my line of vision to take in a view of miles and miles of a mountainous region, to the best of my knowledge, I had never seen before. Vast valleys and gorges stretched out to my left, supporting jagged peaks looming up through layers of clouds. The area I was in was one of a high altitude, the air crisp, cold. I was in such a peaceful state of being, content to just observe, watch. I then sensed I was hearing something and I felt two big ears somewhere behind my eyes angle out to my left and downward. I couldn't see or smell what it was, but a brief motion picture of a rabbit scurrying around suddenly popped into my mind. As a wolf I just 'knew' it was a rabbit and I 'knew' where it was. And I guess I wasn't interested in dinner because I didn't feel a desire to give chase. I briefly wondered ( I momentarily moved my awareness slightly back to "Ginny") if animals often gain a knowing, in this way,  about their environment. When I moved my attention forward again, back into being a wolf (only way I can describe it) something made me looked down and be attentive of my left paw, partially curled under me. I had a wound, a laceration near the do-claw, ---however you spell it. I sniffed and then licked this wound but didn't feel any pain, just a mild discomfort in that area. When that was done I resumed my observing,  and I, as Ginny, then took note of experiencing moments where no information was running through me...moments that felt to be utterly blissful and trouble-free. It was a tranquility that I, as the human Ginny, rarely experience while conscious. The idea ran through me that this was normal for animals...and that perhaps this was an answer to a long held question of mine as to whether people's pets ever experience a great deal of boredom. It felt to me at that moment that they do, but they also have the ability to 'zone out' into this blissful state.

My attention was then drawn to my right and I then 'knew' a human was approaching...and I knew which human so I remained calm. Within a few seconds my ears were then registering something, noises the human was making within trees and bush....and a woman emerged from a forest above me. As she approached I saw she had wrapped around her some kind of large animal skin with fur on the outside, and what appeared to be buckskin boots with I guess leather cording tied around them. She sat near me, muttering words or sounds that didn't make sense to me (to Ginny). I was suddenly engulfed with a brief knowing that I was registering smells, her smells I guess. Her hair was long, dark and partially braided in thin rows around her face. The braids looked as if they'd not been unbraided for a long time. She was moving her hands under her animal skin covering and I as a wolf knew what she was doing. She produced a thick slab of dark red dried meat, cut a portion off and handed it to me. I focused on hungrily chewing, dropping a portion too long to get into my mouth. My teeth kind of pulverized the meat in a couple of chews and I was on to the remainder til all was eaten. I felt her stroke me, my fur, along the right side of my face. Moving back I wanted, as Ginny, to see her face and I did. Her skin was medium brown, a wide, pronounced mouth and slightly protruding lips. She had a heavier brow than woman usually have.

We both were then drawn to where a part of the mountain we were on tumbled downward at a sharp angle and I knew more wolves were approaching. Within seconds around seven to eight gray wolves ( one was black) were leaping and frolicking below us, making their way towards our position. As they zigzagged around jagged outcroppings and bounded up to us some lowered their tails and let out short whining sounds as they circled the woman, who was now standing (I was sitting up). I watched the obvious display of affection, a few wolves approaching me to gave a friendly sniff or two, and it was apparent the woman was in some way a leader to the pack.

And then, just like that, I was back on my deck in the chair staring at a part of my tree. I looked over at my Indian friend and asked, "Was she an American Indian?" He said yes, Indian, but not in America. I then said, "So you were that woman, in that physical life.", and he answered, no. He said I was. And I was also the wolf in that physical life. This blew me away, also confused me. I then had a rote of sorts but I'm afraid I can't quite remember all of it, but in essence I got that Disk members are capable of performing some kind of split in energy or personality, whereby both energetic parts can experience a life together.

He then moved into my treehouse and after a few seconds of trying to absorb what he had just said I followed him. A large fire was burning in a huge, white plaster, rounded fireplace. A comfortable looking couch and stuffed chairs with coffee table stood in front of the orange flames. I walked over to windows that seemed to be comprise most of the wall space in the house and knew there wasn't any wasn't necessary here. I then moved into the central area of the house, or more like a great room, where the tree passed through the wood flooring and up through the roof. Beyond, in another section of the house I haven't even visited yet (in a conscious state) where more people sitting, talking. I knew they were more Disk members. Started feeling as if this treehouse was 'our' house, not just mine.-----:O)

And then I could feel it was time to return, so I extended a 'see ya guys'--thought towards everyone and came back to C1.

22  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / a retrieval in the Belief System Territories on: December 13, 2002, 02:02:34

Howdy everyone,

I got a signal this morning that a retrieval was in store, so after going through my preparatory process I placed the intent to be in the 3D blackness. As I just floated for awhile in all that soft, deep black velvet (I really like hanging out in the 3D black---there's something about it that is so relaxing I have to watch out...I can easily fade away into a nap!). I observed areas that appeared or felt to be irregular from the rest of the black tapestry and after a minute saw one that looked and felt different to me. As I approached it I placed the intent to visit a world in the BST and I was then getting flashes of myself zipping along a dark tunnel...and then I was just standing in front of a barrel of some kind in what felt to be an alley behind a building. I looked around and couldn't see or feel anyone. I wanted to laugh because I was wondering why on earth I would arrive in a back alley with the garbage!

As I started moving around I noticed to my left a hilly landscape that was black and charred, as in from a fire. I came into an open area and moved out onto a wide dirt road that appeared to serve as the main avenue for a small community, saw some one story buildings---or what was left of them. Most were demolished. The thought, "they are recovering from a battle", came to me. Across the road a woman exited from one partially standing cement building and stopped, staring at me. I had the feeling she was trying to decide whether I was the enemy. No one else was in sight, just silence.

In wanting to understand what this place was all about I got the idea to look for 'the enemy camp' flew up and started cruising above blackened hills. I could see smoke trailing up into the sky at what appeared to be a good mile or two away and headed for it.

I was then approaching I guess a town with strange looking one story, brown buildings, enclosed within a wall. My interpreter kept saying, 'bunker', as I focused on the buildings. I landed in the center of the compound and looked around. All I understood at that point was this camp or town had attacked the first town I had encountered. I opened up just enough to get a sense for the place and got a strong feeling of hate, an all-consuming emotional need for retaliation. Everyone living there lived and breathed hatred for the enemy and a need for revenge. It was a constant merry-go-round: attack, be endless loop for justice and the need to destroy. I closed these feelings off quickly and moved inside one of the 'bunkers'. I saw what looked like TV screens recessed into one long wall and got that these were used to monitor the camp's safety, their enemy's status. No one was around so I moved back outside and a tall man was leaving a building across the compound. He noticed me and stopped. Somehow my appearance communicated 'newbie' to him. He was wearing a plain, short sleeve white shirt with white pants (I got that this outfit somehow identified his staus or rank within this compound). He proceeded to speak rapidly, telling me (as if he were bored and didn't really care) where I was to go to become acquainted with the place. I thanked him and asked if there was a victory celebration going on anywhere, as it was my understanding they had won the battle. This seemed to confuse him and he said they didn't celebrate anything there. In this moment of wondering it felt as if he was on the verge of remembering something, trying to recall why this 'no celebrating lifestyle' at times may have seemed odd to him. He gave the impression of not really caring one way or the other who won: he just had a job to do (whatever that was). I told him I knew of a place where they have great victory celebrations. He was intrigued for a few seconds but then suddenly shut me out. He snapped out of his reverie and stated that whenever they won a battle or war they were flooded with new people wanting to join in (got the impression these new people were newly deceased, attracted to the energy/emotion this BST world generated). I noted the place didn't seem to be crowded ( I could feel others around but just not see them) but said nothing.

I was then following him into another building (the furnishings, colors---had a cheerless, military feel to them). I asked him if he liked living in this place and he said he didn't know...he didn't care. I repeated that I knew of another place where he could perhaps enjoy himself more...and for some reason this time he was really listening, a little confused but really focused on what I was saying. A Helper then stepped forward and held the his attention as something was being communicated. The man was feeling uncertain...I think having trouble dealing with anything new or anything suggesting any kind of I brought the feeling of love and respect to me and directed the energy to him. It wasn't long before another Helper arrived and I watched as they began moving away.

I felt a need to return to the first town I arrived at and as I left the compound, I had a view of a third community over a range of low hills, and sure enough, some kind of missles or shells were being lobbed at the compound below. A couple of buildings exploded near where I had been standing. I returned to the first community and as I landed on the dirt avenue I was suddenly surrounded by some of the residents. I was under suspicion. I could feel they were already planning their revenge. They were angry, demanding justice for what had been done to them. I thought to ask if it would just invite more misery and destruction but kept my feelings to myself as their anger was building to a fever pitch. I was open to finding anyone who was disenchanted but no one there had any desire to want to leave, just gear up for more I waved goodbye and departed upward and out.

I could feel I had picked up some of that world's energy, so I requested and got the white balls (more than I thought I needed!) and transfered any energy not mine into them....and returned to C1.

Thanks for listening and much love,


23  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / a Focus 23 Retrieval on: December 05, 2002, 20:18:42

Hi everyone,

This morning I placed the intent to meet with a Helper and assist in a retrieval wherever needed. I then sensed a female presence nearby and was surprised when she suggested we briefly visit my new F27 place first. Okay.

We were then standing on the large wrap-around deck, high up in the gigantic tree. I paused, wanting to absorb the tranquilizing feeling that swept over me as various windchimes were announcing their soft presence in the breeze. I sensed leaves whispering all around...such an utter peacefulness. The Helper then indicated I should go to the middle of my round treehouse (in the center of the dwelling, reaching up through a large opening in the roof, is a huge tree)...and the term, "Your tree of life", came through clearly. I asked if I had understood her correctly and she repeated the statement. A half-knowing went through me, meaning it felt as if I could comprehend a portion of something that made sense, felt familiar---and frustrating. It was a knowing feeling that opened up into my awareness only so far, like a flower slowly opening to the sun....and I can not even explain right now what this meant.

We moved into the house and upon arriving in the center I looked up at wide shafts of sun glittering downward, highlighting leaves and thick branches that angled out and up toward the ceiling and sky. Lots of birds were singing, flitting around. I saw the smooth steps carved into the base, spiraling upward, and I didn't hesitate to follow them up into branches that were so ancient looking and massive one could easily walk without worrying about maintaining balance. All kinds of animals and birds were scurrying around. Trees have always calmed me...represented the cycle of life. I then understood that this tree would be a future source of energy for me and I had no argument with that.

The Helper and I then left and began moving through the blackness. I wondered if we were headed for a world within the BST as I haven't been to one lately. When it felt we had arrived I couldn't pick up anything and asked if we were in the Belief System Terrirtories. She didn't answer--- just told me to open my awareness, which I did. I didn't feel or sense any kind of emotional energy I normally experience when entering some BST worlds.

I then sensed water, ocean, orange sunshine coloring a body of water for as far as the eye could see. I was standing on a ship, feeling it's bow dip into the water, and ride back up as it methodically sailed head-on into the waves. I sensed creaking, splashing...wood sounding off under pressure. The vessel reminded me of the ships that sailed the globe hundreds of years ago. I then wondered if there were sailors or occupants aboard, down below...and could feel my awareness briefly almost kind of scan below the deck. No one there. I moved toward the bow of the ship and suddenly felt something above. At the same time a voice hollered down at me, instructing me to do something with a rope. I looked up to see a man high up at the top of the main mast. It felt he was speaking English but with such a heavy accent of some kind I couldn't understand what he wanted. He called out again what I was suppose to do and I then knew what my assignment was. I hurried over to a fat rope and began winding it around some kind of slender post embedded into the deck, about 3 feet high. I had the impression that the post was covered with some kind of tar, to prevent ropes from slipping (?). He then told me to secure it. So I tied a half knot. That done, he said nothing more.

I watched him for a few seconds and then asked if he was ready to be relieved from his post for awhile. He cheerfully indicated that he was fine and fully capable of performing his duty...which was watching for land. I paused and then said surley he must be hungry? Nope. So I then yelled up that he must need water...I was going to come up with drinking water. He didn't respond and I guess this made sense to him, so I started moving up a dark, cherry brown wooden mast (looked polished). I got the feeling it was important that it look as if I was climbing the mast (instead of flying up--this may have bothered him), as anyone would do to get to the perch. As I was moving up I got flashes of things hanging, some banging against the mast...knotted ropes extending down. When I reached him I handed him what I guess was some kind of goatskin bag, the kind with a small spout so one can tip it up and have a stream of liquid pour into the mouth (can't remember what you call them). He seemed to be in his 30's or 40's, wearing pants and shirt of dull, cotton-like material, dark hair, in need of a shave. He took a drink and then resumed his job: watching for land, carefully scanning the horizon ahead and to his left and right. I told him that it was time for him to be relieved. A younger sailor well rested could take over for awhile so he could get some rest. I felt from him that no one could spot land like he could and I countered that that was indeed true, but the eyes of a rested sailor always worked better than a those of a tired one. He thought about this, looking out over the ocean, and then gave in, agreeing to hand his post over to someone else for awhile.

We were then just down on the deck as a small humanoid figure scampered up the mast (I got that it was a Helper). I told the guy that someone was here to ask him questions about what he'd been observing (wasn't happy with this statement but it's just what came out) and I could feel a male Helper then move out from behind me. The sailor seemed to be transfixed on the Helper as some kind of discussion ensued...and I also sensed a wariness or a bit of fear in his eyes. I brought the feeling of love to me and then felt this 'feeling' gently move to him. I watched as his eyes grew large with astonishment and could feel that he wasn't scared anymore, just kind of blown away at whatever the Helper was doing/saying. I had the feeling he was a tough guy and could handle the truth about his situation, but I'm not sure if that's what was happening. He then was moving away with the Helper into the blackness and I opened up to feel for the female Helper I had originally arrived with---found her and said thanks for letting me help out. I got a smile back...and I then returned to C1.

Thanks for listening.

Much love,



24  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Page 2 on: November 27, 2002, 03:27:34

Once I thanked the Helper for her assistance I was then floating in the blackness, feeling quite peaceful and charged up to do some more exploring. The thought went through me that perhaps I could start creating my second F27 place (my disk-family has been bugging me about this!), and I also wondered about helping in another retrieval. A tall man then appeared ahead and to my left: kinda looked like he was wearing long robes. He radiated such warmth and joy, asking me what I'd like to do. I decided that helping in another retrieval was important and told him this. He said back, "But weren't you thinking of this new place you want to make for yourself?" I said yes but wasn't sure what I wanted.

He then started moving his right arm in a wide, counter clockwise circle..and the faster he performed this motion the more it looked as if he was creating a white oval band, like a white rubberband about three feet wide. He stopped and the rubberband disappeared. I just stared at him. He started doing this again and I then started getting some info: it had something to do with being able to create things. He stopped the motion and the band was gone. He started it again and this time the white band became a huge round transparent ball or bubble. He handed it to me and as I gently took it it felt rather weightless. It looked like a huge soap bubble. As soon as I thought that, I saw iridescent colors appear on the bubble's surface, moving and blending together as if in oil. I looked over at him and got nothing back. I'm having trouble remembering all the things I then started thinking about, but what happened was, each time I thought of an object, it would appear inside the bubble, quicker than I could 'mentally think it out'. For instance, when he asked me what kind of a place I wanted to create for myself and I answered I still hadn't decided, but that I was wondering if instead of a place that reflected an earth environment, perhaps a place up in the clouds would be cool?---well beautiful sun splashed billowy clouds appeared in the bubble, in a blink of an eye. I wanted to laugh. Well if I was going to be in the clouds I certainly had to have some kind of structure for the benefit of visiting friends, and so said to him..."how 'bout some kind of deck or---"...and a huge platform/deck appeared in the clouds. He was grinning at me. I was having fun. So I mentally said, "Ocean", and an ocean apppeared before I could even finish formulating the word! I thought of a forest and bingo. I thought of a castle and a big one appeared. I then got silly and did a crystal lined cave, a dog, and I can't remember what else. The faster I thought out a word the faster the image appeared, always a fraction of a nano-second ahead of my finished thought. It was a watch the images I was apparently creating manifest like this! Probably getting tired of me playing with this, he asked what were the things I really loved...and I thought of trees and yep, what looked like a great oak inside the bubble sat in my hand. As soon as I just recalled the childhood feeling of being up in trees the image changed ...I then had a view from within the tree, sitting high up. Always wanted a house in a tree--and a huge one appeared, complete with large windows and a wrap around porch or deck about thirty feet wide. There must have been 3-4000 square feet of floor space within...a Santa Fe type of fireplace, wooden floors. I didnt like the idea of a square floor plan so made it round. It was then I realized that I was in the scene I had created: I wasn't a bystander...I was in this creation. And with this realization I was then back standing near the guy again, holding the weightless ball with my treehouse within---my new place. He said I could use this whenever I wanted to create anything. I started laughing, feeling wonderful to have this piece of know-how...and I gave him a long look and asked, "Ah c'mon, who are you, really?" He shrugged, smiling, and said, "Just a Helper." I felt such gratitude and love for him, for offering this bubble idea. He knew this instantly and I could feel a loving response. And then he was gone.

I had no idea how much time had passed but wasn't in a big hurry to return to C1. As a matter of fact I felt such a warm, soothing peacefulness that I decided to just recline and float. Haven't felt that good in a long time.

Love to all,


25  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Armanda: from dream contact to retrieval on: November 27, 2002, 03:19:09
Hi everyone,

I was up at around 6:00AM this morning, as usual, and before I could finish a cup of coffee I suddenly felt very tired. In finally heading back to bed I fell asleep and eventually found myself in what we all call a typical dream: I was in a large, circular outdoor hot tub with family members (some deceased, some still in the physical). It seemed to be at night. I could see and feel the warm water swirling around...neices and nephews having fun. After a few minutes, popping into in my entire field of vision, was a rectangular image of the upper portion of a young girl's face, around eight years of age give or take. It was like being only inches away from her face. The only thing in movement were her eyes: looking around in a worried fashion. She had pale skin, light brown straight hair parted on the side. It seemed her entire body was rigid, only her eyes casting about as if she was trying to look out through the rectangle she was pressing up against. The image was then gone as suddenly as it had appeared. I had a flash of, "Well that was weird!" but resumed playing with the kids. Within a few seconds the eyes in the rectangle popped into my field of vision again...and this time I knew the child was quite fearful. As she was rapidly looking to her left, then right, I wasn't sure if she could see me, acknowledge my presence. I then knew what all this meant and I mentally said to myself--almost mentally shouting--, "This is a retrieval. She needs to be retrieved!" The image then vanished (and I think it came back once more but not sure) and I felt my nephew's attention (he was behind me a few feet) on what was happening with me, and I clearly understood and could feel that he was enthralled with his aunt's ability to 'super daydream'. What was interesting was the 'feeling' that was associated with watching the image each time it popped into view. For as long as I was watching the young girl I was completely engrossed..and yet I was simultaneously aware I was also in the hot tub, aware of the noise and commotion. I then woke up, feeling rested and decided after a few hours to meet up with a Helper in the afterlife and ask what was up.

As I began my process in relaxing and energy boosting I got the thought that I wouldn't need to spend as much time with the process as I usually do (which only amounts to perhaps ten minutes, depending on how I am) I accepted this, relaxed til I could feel myself relax, did two quick cycles of gathering energy from below and above, brought to me the feeling of love and placed the intent to meet with a Helper. I could then distinctly feel a female presence swoop down and stand in front of me, offering a big grin at my being caught off guard (she arrived rather quickly). In asking if the girl I saw in my dream needed retrieving she nodded, also indicating we best get going. Ooookay!

The Helper remained facing me as I felt the two of us moving in what I perceived to be straight ahead, and when we stopped there was the customary blackness...and I was then in a white room with a small girl several feet away and to my right, staring through a small rectangular window in a door. There was something kind of heavy about the atmosphere of the room and I felt a little confused as to what this was all about for some reason. It then came to me that the child's fear and anxiety were literally 'clouding' the space she was in (don't know if I'm explaining this right but it's the only way I can describe what I was 'seeing/feeling'). So I let the image go, asking for better understanding. I then again had the same room, the little girl, but it then felt as if I'd be able to be less fuzzy and more I watched the girl, waiting to see if the Helper had anything to offer. I wondered if we were in a classroom. She appeared to be locked in. Why? The Helper gave a soft indication that it would be okay to approach the child.

I carefully moved towards her and sat down. The 'heaviness' was still palpable but I could manage (this was strange--couldn't remember feeling this before). I hesitated, aware of her glancing at me once, but she kept anxiously watching through the small door window, her small fingers holding onto a metal lip edging the glass. I didn't like the look of the window (around ten inches high, twenty in length): it reminded me of the interior, security door windows in mental institutions (years ago my mother experienced those windows). I said casually, "What's going on?", and she answered in a rushed panic, "They won't let me out. They locked me in here!" I paused...and was about to ask her where we were and had an overwhelming feeling not to: having to question why I didn't know where I was would create confusion and more fear for her. I asked her name and got back Armanda. I thought it must be Amanda and got back a no---Armanda. I sat there thinking about the situation and then asked her why she was here. She looked at me and said she couldn't trust me, that I would tell 'them'. I said, "Hey, I'm locked up in here too. I will not tell them anything." She thought about it and then I started getting some info...knowings: foster homes, petty crime...incorrigible. And I then understood the heaviness in the room: claustrophobia. She seemed to be ready to explode or freak out as she desperately kept her eyes close to the window. Watching for someone to come let her out seemed to be keeping her from losing it.

At this point all I wanted to do was get her out and I said, "I have a friend who can help us." She shook her head, saying they wouldn't let my friend in. I then got a Bright Idea and without thinking reached into a left pocket, whipped out a cell phone and began a short, make-believe conversation Armanda could hear. When done I was about to explain who was coming to let us out and the look on her face made me freeze. She was staring at the cell phone. She asked what it was, as if it was some Star Trek device or something. I then got the feeling that perhaps the time period she was in was prior to cell phones. I said it was a phone, a telephone. She made a face to indicate she'd never seen anything like it.

We were then interrupted by commotion on the other side of the door, the sound of a key in a lock, and the door opened into the room. Armanda moved back, scared. A tall guy in a white lab coat stood quietly, smiling at her, holding what I guess was a clipboard or papers. I told Armanda this was my friend here to help us. He began reading something and then announced that a mistake had been made: Armanda was not suppose to be here. I moved closer to the Helper, smiling at Armanda as he let her know she could leave...this had been a bad mistake. He kept talking with her, describing where he could take her---it seemed he was describing a place where there were others more her age, less adults. It wasn't long before they were leaving and the female Helper who escorted me to Armanda appeared to my left, saying we could follow. I was curious where we were going. After a short trip in the 3D blackness a large gathering of people appeared, under trees. One approached us and I could feel she was a teenager and sympathetic to Armanda, emphasizing that for the most part, children ruled there. A few adults were there to help to some capacity but the kids lived and helped one another...and they were having a picnic and would Armanda like to join in? She then escorted the shy, tongue-tied Armanda towards the trees and children setting out food on picnic tables. I could see sunshine, feel/hear the wind in the trees. The place had a 40's or 50's feel to it but not sure. Armanda was handed a plate and started picking at her food, kind of in a daze as she looked around...taking in her new surroundings. I then asked the female Helper what Armanda's story was and got severe child abuse; rape, neglect...from there one foster home after another, intense anger and hatred, setting fires, either a mental institution or juvenile hall incarceration. I never did ask how she died.

And since this is turning into a book I'll close and start a page 2 of what happened with another Helper right after this retrieval was over.

Thanks for listening and much love,


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