Hi,
Stookie is right. Ease up, a little patience. I know how you feel though, I was the same once and it took me the best part of twenty-five years to break through.
Enlightenment isn't something you can find, buy or get from anywhere. You have it, have always had it and can never be without it; you just need to realise it. Also, you already have everything you need in order to realise this. Many people have sought God / Enlightenment and have not found him because the one place it never occurred to them to look was the place they were looking out of.
You probably do need advice from a man who has the insight to talk to those of us raised with a Western conditioning. In my opinion the best man for this is the late Douglas Harding. Please go and buy his 'On Having No Head' and see where that takes you. (Also see
http://www.headless.org/).
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