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1  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Dreams about Killers on: February 09, 2004, 08:53:44
Ever since I first discovered that I occasionally have precognitive dreams I have tried to find missing people, and wished I could help catch killers. In a way this thread inspires this.

I had a dream about a killer tonight and it felt very real. I am not being allowed to go back to sleep until I write it down. This is not the first time I dreamed about killers. The first dream I had about some took place in New Mexico or Arizona and three serial killers were running a motel. I dreamed it a few years ago.

In this dream I was walking alone down a road at dusk or dawn and a man in a truck pulled over. He was extremely tall (his hips came up to where my ribs are) He had long arms and legs. His hair was short, and I couldn't tell the color. He was very white, freckled skin. In his big hands he held a knife and a bent curtain rod.

I ran away from him and I jumped onto the side of a moving gravel truck and I banged on the window for help. Perhaps the truck symbolized his vehicle.

Now if I could just remember to ask their names when I dream about them.

If anyone else wants to add dreams like this please do.
2  Astral Chat / Welcome to Astral Chat! / Mothers Intuition on: January 09, 2004, 03:55:41
Tonight my lovely 18 year old step-daughter took my children out on the town. They went to some arcade, fake rock climbing place with rides. Afterwards they went sledding. My husband was working late at the Tobbogan making shop and I decided to take a nap. Before I went to sleep I had a vision of my 9 year old son in distress and felt his tears. I was worried and prayed for him.

When they got home he jumped in my arms and told me that when they were sledding he hurt himself really bad. His leg is very bruised. He told me he didn't have a very good night. I told him that I knew because I felt his distress. That is the second time I have felt one of my children during a time of distress. Now I know where the words "A Mothers intuition" came from.
3  Healing / Welcome to Healing discussions! / Herbal salves on: January 06, 2004, 19:32:39
I grow herbs and gather both wild and natural herbs. In 1999 after I survived being butchered by doctors a woman I know gave me a recipe for a salve that would help speed up my bodies healing from the surgeries that I had gone through.

She told me to soak a jar full of Raspberry in olive oil from the dark of the moon until the full moon. Then to strain it and cook it with beeswax to solidify it.

I got carried away. I wasn't satisfied with just Raspberry. I saw jewel weed near my raspberry plants and remembered how it heals poisin ivy and rashes. So I added that. Next thing I knew, I threw in some aloe, Yarrow, Tee tree oil, plantain, and clover.

After my salve was finished my whole family started using it and found that it worked to repel bugs as well as it healed wounds fast. Next thing I knew some elder lady friends of mine started using it to get rid of wrinkles. I couldn't make enough of it. Every year I am asked if I am going to make another batch.

I thought I'd share it here in case anyone else here likes to make salves.

If you have a salve to share please by allmeans add it to this thread.[Smiley]
4  The Astral Library / Welcome to Writers Corner! / Europa Dreams on: January 02, 2004, 00:10:27
This is a story I wrote for a group anthology called Horseshoes and Time.

Warning it contains adult content

I would love feedback. Writing stories is a new thing for me. I have written countless journals of real life experiences and poems. I also have 5 published poems.

Europa Dreams
Gayle Smith-DeLeon(c)

   Soul rising from a dreaming mind, silently swimming through space, defying time at the speed of thought.  Humans do it a lot but most aren’t aware of the worlds in which dreams take them, only vivid memories of the unusual.
   Audrey was not aware as she was swimming through space.  She recognized Jupiter as she flew up close and felt pulled towards it.  She saw what looked like a sphere of etched glass and flew right into it.  At first everything went black and then she noticed phosphorescent creatures and plants around her.  Fish, colors, and plants she had never seen.  It felt like she was looking through someone else’s eyes.
   Wow! This is a strange dream, she thought.  The word “dream” echoed through her mind as though someone other than her had said it, like someone repeating a word they are trying to make out the meaning of.  She saw some large phosphorescent creatures that reminded her of squids.  They slept on a bed of what looked like glow-in-the-dark moss.  The water felt so real flowing through her.  She heard, “It’s been a while since I felt humankind.”
   She started feeling like she was falling through a whirlpool, until, boom!-her whole body was jolted awake.  Her clock radio was blasting Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon.” She felt a bit woozy.  “Damn! It’s 8:15 a.m.-I’m late!”
   She quickly jumped out of bed and threw on the blue polyester work uniform with the words “Endless Franks” written on it.  Then she tied her long mane of thick curly black hair into a rude knot on the back of her head and put her work hat on over it.  She splashed water on her face.
   She looked at her puffy eyes and her pale white skin.  It looked like she hadn’t slept for days.  Her naturally red lips were chapped and she had bags under her eyes.
   Her black cat, Blues, jumped up on her shoulder and purred in her ear.  “I don’t have time to cuddle, Blues,” she said as she nuzzled her face into the cat’s furry body and then gently sat her back on the floor.  Audrey dashed out of the front door, running through the park the two blocks to work.
   She panted as she clumsily stumbled into the door.  The smell of hot dogs and chili made her hungry.  A loud booming male voice yelled, “You’re fired!  I told you if you're late again this would happen." She looked up, frazzled and disheveled into Lloyd’s face, his bald head shining from the sun rays in the window, hands rubbing chili on his dirty apron.  He handed her her last paycheck, saying, “You look like crap!”
   “Please, Lloyd, give me another chance.  I swear I’ll never be late again.”
    “That’s what you said last time.  Scram.”
   She slunk away, staring at her feet and shuffling home in tears, oblivious of the beautiful day surrounding her.  In the moist spring air, a lovely mist danced across the pond and the sun peeked from behind a patch of clouds with silver linings.  Cedar waxwings sang from the oak trees overhead.  All of this went unnoticed by her as she walked through the park to her house in Woodstock, Vermont.
   She walked in the house and slammed the door so hard that the horseshoe she had hung above it fell to the floor.  It nearly hit her.  She picked it up and said, “You were supposed to bring me good luck,” and set it on her little TV.
   The small living room was cluttered with dirty laundry, and strewn with books and papers.  She had no shelves, just crates of books and papers.  There was an old green recliner in the middle of the room facing the TV.  Both the kitchen and living room were the same room but she seldom ate at home.  The kitchen counters were dusty and unused.
   Forgetting her hunger, she plopped onto her recliner and stared into space.  Her body felt strange.  It felt like there was someone with her, looking through her eyes.  At that thought she felt an energy stir inside her and a pleasing sensation move through her heart.  She started drifting into sleep and lifting from her body.  Something held her astral body and was taking it somewhere as she flew through space.
   Something more powerful stopped whatever had her.  She heard and felt thoughts that she didn’t understand, until she heard something say, “Goodbye, little human.  Remember us-the Old Ones.” She felt a different energy hold her and something else said, “Ah little one I hear you’ve been to Europa before, all on your own?  My, it’s refreshing to see a human who can get past my gates in her sleep.  I’ve grown disgusted with most of your kind.”
   Blues jumped on her lap, jolting her back awake.  She felt disoriented and like something was moving around inside her body.  
    “Okay, I’m sorry I forgot to feed you,” she mumbled to the cat and got up and opened a can of cat food.  She remembered her own hunger and decided to go to the local coffeehouse for breakfast and to chitchat with friends.
   At the coffeehouse a bunch of her Deadhead friends were getting ready for a road trip.  They were headed to Crystal River, Florida.  “Yeah man, boats killed 95 manatees last year.  So we’re having a concert benefit to save the manatees,” said Clyde to Audrey while she ate her falafel.  
   Audrey put down her sandwich and said, “I had a weird dream with far-out sea creatures and squids last night.  Maybe the dream and getting fired is a sign for me to go to Florida too.  If I find someone to watch my cat, can I hitch a ride with you guys?”
    “Of course you can, if you can help pay for gas.”
   It didn’t take long for her to draft her sister into house-sitting and to cash her last paycheck.  She grabbed up all the jewelry she had made for craft fairs in hopes of selling some to Deadheads on the road.  It might help pay for next month’s rent.  She packed a few provisions, picked up her horseshoe and said, “Maybe I should bring you for luck,” and slipped it in her backpack on the way out the door.
   Audrey rode in an RV with five Deadheads on the way to Florida.  Her friend Clyde road in the back with her, along with his new girlfriend Jazz and another couple she vaguely knew from Clyde’s band, named Bill and Laura.  The owner of the RV was a man named Oscar.
   Jazz was looking through Audrey’s jewelry and picked out two pieces to buy.  Clyde reminded her to go easy with the money.  She ignored him and whispered to Audrey, “My daddy’s loaded.  If I ever need money he’ll wire it to me."
   Jazz was a blue-eyed blond with a short pixie haircut.  She wore a lot of dark eyeliner, and had a pretty face full of freckles.  She was a few inches shorter than Audrey and had small firm breasts and a slender waist.
   Audrey was big-boned compared to Jazz, but she had curves and large breasts more like Laura.  Laura was a short, curvaceous Mexican girl with long black hair down to her knees.
   Clyde looked agitated and said to everyone in the camper, “Jazz’s dad got her a week’s reservation for a cabin at the Sawtooth trailhead on the Withlachoocee River for her birthday.  So our Lodging is free.  There are horses we can ride on the trails and a beautiful river.”
    “Yeah, I just turned twenty yesterday,” giggled Jazz.  “My folks used to take me to Sawtooth once a year.  I just know everyone will love it.”  Everyone responded with happy birthdays.
    “Oscar can drive but has no money.  He will need gas and toll money from all of us and asked me to find out what all of you can afford,” said Clyde.
   Bill swore under his breath and then said, “I don’t have much money so this is all I can pay for gas.” He tossed a fifty-dollar bill at Clyde.  Bill was a bit of a cheapskate.  Laura made up for it by saying she could put a hundred in on gas.
   Bill was around the same height as Audrey.  He was a chubby white man with shoulder-length blond hair and a receding hairline.
   Audrey handed Clyde a hundred dollar bill and said, “I can pay a lot more if you need it.  I know these RVs suck up a lot of gas.” He smiled and gave her a hug.  Jazz looked uncomfortable.  She knew Clyde and Audrey were ex-lovers who broke up three years before because Clyde got caught cheating on her with one of the groupies of his reggae band.  She hadn’t spoken with him for a couple of years, but they had eventually become good friends again.
   Clyde was a very handsome black man with beautiful, big brown eyes and a scar on his right cheek that did nothing to diminish his good looks.  He had thick eyebrows that joined as one and wore a goatee on his firm jaw.  Over six feet tall, he towered over everyone.
   Audrey felt flustered by his hug.  She had forgotten how good he smelled.  Jazz got nervous and dominated the airspace with chitchat about horses and swimming with manatees.  Bill picked up his guitar and started singing “Box of Rain” and a few other songs.

   Oscar had been driving almost twelve hours straight, except to get gas and take a couple of bathroom breaks.  Audrey was getting concerned and went up front to talk with him.  Everyone else had fallen asleep.  They hadn’t gotten out of Woodstock until noon.
   She asked, “Would you like me to drive for awhile?”
    “No thanks.”
    “ Would you like some coffee?”
   He smiled at her and showed her a big thermos full of tea, and asked, “Would you like some Green tea? I don’t drink coffee.  I wouldn’t mind someone talking with me while I drive.  Have you ever been to Florida before?”
    “No, have you?” she asked.
    “Yes, I lived in Crystal River as a boy.”
    “Oh, so what’s your favorite place there?”
    “I love the river and the sea creatures but the place I miss the most is the pyramids.”
    “You must be joking.  There aren’t pyramids in Florida.”
    “Oh yes there are-and I can prove it to you.”
    “I have to see this.  You must be pulling my leg.”
   She loved looking at the shadows dance across his beautiful face while she chatted with him.  Oscar was Seminole Indian and had traveled to a Vermont Rainbow Gathering the year before and decided to stay in Woodstock for a while.  She knew him by name but only in passing.  She often caught herself staring at his long black hair, black eyes, and chiseled features.  She found him very attractive; she had a thing for tall men.  She was 5’6” and he was about five inches taller than her.

   They talked for hours, and Audrey paid all the tolls until the sun rose.  He had driven for 18 hours when he drove off I-95 and said to Audrey, “I have a gold pass for staying at National Parks.  We are near Fort Frederica’s Monument.  It is located on St. Simon’s Island.  I figure I can sleep until noon and all of you can get up to have some breakfast.  There is plenty of food in my kitchen for everyone.  I know it sounds weird staying at an old Fort but I’ve been there before and it is a beautiful place.  There are oak trees, an herb garden, Spanish moss, and grape vines there.”
   After he got there and they all ate, he kicked everyone out of the RV and asked to be woken up at noon.  They lost track of time going through the museum and exploring the grounds.  At one point Audrey leaned against the footbridge that protects the huge grape vine and wished she had slept.
   Clyde walked up to her.  She asked, “Clyde, is it true there are pyramids in Florida?”
    “Ha, I don’t think so.  Why do you ask?”
    “Oh, Oscar told me there were.”
    “Hmmm, Oscar doesn’t usually bovine excrement people.  Bill is the biggest liar of the group.  Maybe there are, but I don’t know anything about it.”
   At 1:00 p.m. they woke Oscar up.  Clyde and Jazz sat up front with him.  Bill and Laura sat at the table and read.  Audrey curled up on the bed that still smelled like Oscar.  She drifted into sleep.  Once again, she dreamed of Jupiter and flew into the ice crystal shard moon with the strange phosphorescent creatures.  She knew they were the Old Ones and she was welcome there.
   She felt euphoric as she woke up and noticed that the RV was no longer moving.  She realized Oscar was in the bed with her but he was fully clothed and laying at the foot of the bed.  She smelled pine; she heard a river and horses outside.  
   Oscar woke up and said, “We got here around six and couldn’t wake you up.  You missed the horseback riding earlier.  I got worried about you and fell asleep watching you breathe.  You kept clucking the name Cthulhu.  Did you read about him before the trip?”
   She blushed and asked, “Why worry about me? I was just sleep deprived.  I was saying Cthulhu because I‘ve been reading Lovecraft.”
   Oscar looked at her sternly and asked, “Did you take any chemical drugs to help you sleep?  We were afraid you overdosed on something.  It seemed like you were barely breathing and no matter how hard we tried, you wouldn’t wake up.”
    “Hmmm, no I didn’t take any drugs and it’s not like me to not wake up, but I dreamed a really odd dream and it’s the second one this week.  In each dream there is Jupiter and what may be a moon, and I become part of this giant squid.”
    “Oh, cool dream.  Listen everyone is asleep.  Do you want to take a walk outside and see a little of what you missed today?”
   Everyone was asleep in the cabin.  The moon was full and glowed like a Chinese lantern overhead.  The smell of pine and horses was strong.  He brought her down by the river, threw off his clothes, and dove into the water.  Audrey was amazed at how beautiful he was as she gazed at his long, sleek silhouette under the moonlight.  She too stripped off her clothes and jumped into the water.  
   They merged together in the river and under the moonlight, two lovers spiritually bonded, entwined in a lovers’ knot.
   The next day at the benefit, Audrey danced eloquently to the ripples of the bass guitar strings while her curvaceous body rippled and undulated like the waves of the sea, the shimmy of her shoulders shaking to the rhythm and her feet stomping with each drum beat.
   Clyde’s band was singing a song called “Keys”:
Ripples of guitar keys,
Sounding soft
Upon my ears,
Rolling drums,
Rolling heartbeats,
Vibrant songs
That Weave and Sew

A way to go,
A winding path,
A Spiraling wonder,
A Healing flow.

Check out the
spirit dancer
Shape changing
In her temple

Her steps spin magic
In your souls

A way to go,
A winding path,
A Spiraling wonder,
A Healing flow.

Wake up your spirit,
Can you hear it,
The breath
of the land,
Living earth,
wind song singing
through your city dust.

A way to go,
A winding path,
A Spiraling wonder,
A Healing flow.

   When the music stopped, Oscar, who had been drumming, came over to her and said, “Wow you’re a great dancer.”
   Blushing, she said, “Thanks.”
   He sat next to her on a boulder.  Oscar handed her a bag of magic mushrooms.  They both ate them.  He got back up to play more music.  
   In front of the stage, she started flowing with the music again.  She looked up and smiled at Oscar as he played his drums.  She moved her arms out first like wings and then rippled them like snakes, while her hips swayed in figure eights.  Occasionally she’d twirl around and shimmy her hips at a change in the music.
   A voice in her head said, “Watch out, you can shake down a mountain with that shimmy, priestess.”  She felt a sensation from her head to her toes like someone had run their fingers from her breasts along the curve of her waist.
   Colors and lights from people’s auras radiated from their bodies.  She saw what looked like tentacles wrapped around people and reaching inside them, but no one seemed to notice.  Then she saw the beast himself.  
   In the center of the group was a being shaped like a squid.  Sometimes he seemed to change into something that reminded her more of a dragon.
    “Ah…so you’ve wakened to my dream, little priestess.  See, you are all my puppets and each of you plays part in my dreams.  I’ve been quite bored these days.  Like a swarm of pests I sometimes wipe some of you out and cut back on the population.  I use natural disasters but luckily your little wars do the job for me.  I would have thought you humans would be more evolved but I see there are quite a few barbarians still.”
   She shut her eyes and kept telling herself it was just the mushrooms and tried to clear her mind of the voice that was invading it.
   When it was time for the next band, Oscar got off the stage and helped put away their equipment.  He then grabbed Audrey’s hand.  He pulled her towards a wooded area where they could still hear the music.  The wind blew her hair wildly as they hid from the crowd and kissed.  They danced together, somehow shedding their clothes.  She mounted him where he lay on top of her silk dress.  She undulated her hips and spine along with the flow of the music.  They both reached bliss right when the music stopped.
   They fell asleep in spite of all the noise from the benefit and later woke up and joined their friends.  Clyde was the only one sober, so he drove the RV back to their cabin.  Oscar and Audrey stayed in the RV while everyone else slept in the cabin.
   That night as they slept, spooning each other, they both dreamed the same dream:
   They were inside Europa and one of the squid creatures spoke to them.  “We are the Old Ones.  There was a time we traveled space but now we sleep and dream.  In your planet’s ocean sleeps and dreams Cthulhu.  Your ability to astral travel here has caused him to stir.  You must beware: he is brewing a storm.”

   The next morning Jazz woke them with blueberry pancakes.  She had arranged for them to ride horses along the trail.  Bill and Laura declined but Clyde, Oscar, and Audrey came.
   At first the group started out together on horseback.  Clyde had never ridden a horse before and was having trouble getting use to it.  He couldn’t handle the horse trotting or cantering, so they had to let the horses walk slowly.  
   Clyde wasn’t in a good mood but he couldn’t admit that it bothered him to see Audrey with Oscar.  It was the first time she had been with anyone since she left Clyde and even though he was with Jazz he still carried a torch for Audrey.  He blamed his bad morning on the horse and started swearing at it every time it tried to stop and eat the tall grass.
    “Can’t you see the horse is bored?” Audrey said, as Clyde kicked at its sides and tried to get it to move on.
   Oscar whispered over to her, “Somehow I get the feeling that horse is going to bolt if he keeps swearing at it.”
   Right when he said “bolt,” the horse did just that.  It went into a full canter and next thing Clyde knew, he was on his butt.  Oscar raced after the runaway horse.  Clyde was okay but for his wounded pride and a twisted ankle.  He got on Jazz’s horse and they headed back to the cabin.  Audrey kept going to find Oscar and the missing horse.
   She kind of enjoyed being on her own a bit and started talking to her horse about how foolish Clyde was.  A voice in her head agreed.  She realized she and the horse had a telepathic communication going.
   The horse was a palomino, white with dark freckles.  Her name was Snowstorm and she liked to be ridden and was very people-friendly.  Snowstorm was thrilled to have a human who saw her as an intelligent being riding her.  She trotted in such a way it seemed like more of a dance.
   Audrey was petting her neck and whispering, “You’re a magic horse, aren’t you, Snowstorm,” when Oscar showed up with Clyde’s horse in tow.
   Oscar laughed and said, “I guess that’s what Clyde gets for picking the wildest horse of the bunch.  The black stallion that Clyde picked was very high strung.
    “Listen Audrey, now that the gig is over and Jazz arranged to stay here for the week, there is no reason that we need to feel obligated to stay here with them.  In fact I think it’s causing some tension.  I get the feeling Clyde is jealous.”
   Audrey chuckled, “It serves him right,” then added, “where did you want to go then?”
    “I thought it might be fun to go to the pyramids today, and afterwards I know an isolated spot by the shore where I can park the RV.  We can have a campfire tonight on the beach and enjoy some private time.”
    “I think that’s a great idea, but for right now I want to stop here by the river and let the horses drink.”
   They had reached a little clearing by the river that had a picnic bench.  Audrey sat on a rock and dipped her feet in the water.  Oscar sat behind her and rested his chin on her shoulders while he felt her breasts.  The horses stayed near even though they didn’t bother to tie them up.  
   Jazz showed up for Clyde’s horse and invited them back to the cabin for lunch.  They rode back with her.  Clyde was napping while they ate and Bill and Laura were sitting on the porch singing Jefferson Starship’s “Miracles.”

   Later, at the pyramids, Oscar and Audrey lagged behind the tour guide and group when they reached the temple mound.  Oscar told her, “These pyramids align with Orion’s belt like the Giza Pyramids.  I think the Old Ones were said to have traveled here from outer space.”  He lit some sweet grass and smudged their energy, but a security person made him put it out.  They both prayed together and then decided to leave for their camp at the beach.

   The spot Oscar had picked was a wooded area with a private beach outside of Crystal River.  They spent the rest of their day making love and swimming there.  They had a little campfire and had eaten some sandwiches when a storm started blowing in.  
   Oscar put the fire out and both of them started grabbing their things.  The waves started getting huge and a fierce wind blew in.  Audrey turned and looked at Oscar as he was grabbing his backpack when she noticed that a huge, monstrous squid creature had washed up on shore and had grabbed Oscar’s foot and started pulling him towards its large, gaping jaws.  Oscar was yelling and screaming for help while trying to peel the tentacle from his foot.  
   Audrey reached in her backpack, grabbed her horseshoe and flung it into the eyes of the beast.  She pulled Oscar out of the blinded creature’s grip, and they both ran to the RV and drove back to the cabin at Sawtooth.  
   They both stripped out of their wet clothes and curled up together on the bed.  “Do you think that creature was Cthulhu?” Audrey asked.
    “No he sleeps and dreams.  It must have been one of his servants who was sent to put a scare in us.”
   The rainfall lulled them to sleep in each other’s arms and they both dreamed together again.  This time they were in the ocean and Cthulhu was with them.  He said, “I will set off the Ring of Fire and destroy a large group of your kind unless you can answer my riddle within five minutes.”
    “Why would you want to do that?” asked Audrey.
    “Silence, human.  Only I may ask questions here and I can squash you like an asteroid if you annoy me!  This is my riddle: Who is the human who had the most visions of me and what did he do with the dreams I gave him?”
   Audrey wasn’t good with riddles under the pressure of time limits.  She looked over at Oscar who said, “That’s easy: the answer is H.P. Lovecraft and he wrote your dreams.”
    “Your answer is correct.  You may wake up now.”

    “Oscar, Audrey wake up!  What are you two doing sleeping over here?  You’re missing a great band,” said Jazz as she and Clyde stood over them.  
   Oscar sat up and said, “Hey, thanks for waking us up.  I don’t want to waste my mushroom trip by sleeping through it.”  He grabbed Audrey’s hand and they headed over to the stage where they started dancing.  Oscar asked, “How’s your trip so far?”
    “It’s been great but ever since I started reading the Necronomicon I’ve had the strangest dreams….”

The End

*By the way I just want to make it clear that just because my character uses Mushrooms doesn't mean that I do. I did try them in my teens but I happen to be allergic to them. In my old age I choose natural legal highs like dancing.
5  Psychic and Paranormal / Welcome to Psychic and Paranormal! / A Question on: January 01, 2004, 20:10:28
I have often heard things you can do to protect yourself against psychic attack. I also read the attacker isn't always aware they are doing it. I now would like to know how do you prevent yourself from astral vampirism if you aren't aware you are doing it?

I have a situation with a man (whom I dearly love) who has a strong psychic connection with me. We have never been lovers but we both have a strong desire to be but my being married, monogamous, and having children prevents us from being together.[B)]

There is much grief involved between both of us and we feel each other daily. In a way we are both self destructing. My health is bad from weight gain, His health is also bad from self destructive behavior. I feel him in me a lot. He feels me in him. We are both draining each others energy with this unhealthy attachment. How can we detach without causing each other more pain? We haven't seen each other for a year but we still feel each other daily.
6  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / A need for healing on: December 28, 2003, 22:41:28
In 1999 when I got pregnant with Quinn the doctor I was seeing acted like I had no business having a baby. She told me that I was to poor and that I could die and insisted that I should have an abortion. I called up the clinic that day and changed doctors.

I should have changed clinics. The doctor I got was so young and pretty. She was pregnant too and I trusted her with my life. When I bled a little she convinced me I miscarried and put me through a D&C (where they scrape the womans uterus.) I quit bleeding and felt like I had a live baby in me. She called me and tried to schedule another D&C claiming they didn't find fetal tissue. I refused to reschedule. A month later I had an exam. She finally convinced me by showing me what she claimed was my dead baby on the ultrasound. She said, "Your body is unique and in your case it is not a good thing." I never understood what she meant by that but all my life doctors have had a thing for my blood. They always want samples of my O- blood.

The night before the D&C I told my husband that I still felt pregnant and didn't want to go through with it. He told me don't do it...Stay home." Then I thought about how she told me if I leave the fetal tissue in my body it will grow like a weird plant in my womb. I decided my womb was just haunted by my wishing I were still pregnant.

I woke up out of the anesthesia and she was looming above me saying, "Guess what you were right. You are still pregnant. The bad news is we accidentally punctured his bag and he has a 50/50 chance of making it." It turns out after they couldn't find fetal tissue she sliced me open from the navel down and put the ultrasound directly on to my Uterus. That is when she found I was still pregnant. She sewed me back up and put me in recovery and concocted up a story that I had been pregnant with twins and one died but she never came up with the remains of the so called twin.

A few days later my sister had had one of her tantrums about me not wanting her to take my daughter to her home in the cities. I was to week in my hospital bed to argue and my husband was to worried about me to argue and he let my sister take my daughter.

A week after the D&C they sent me home. We were waiting for my sister to bring my daughter home when my water broke and my husband rushed me back to the hospital. I usually have long labors that end in C-section so my husband figured he'd wait at home for my daughters return and be back on time for the birth. We were told the baby would probably be born dead and would not survive because he was only 19 weeks along.

When my husband left the doctor drugged me on morphine and I fell asleep. I woke up needing to go to the restroom but no nurses were around. I walked to the restroom holding on to walls and Quinn came out. I near fainted and pressed the panic button yelling for help. The nurses came and said, "He's still alive!" They wrapped him in a blanket and put him in my arms. He had hair already and looked perfect. I begged the nurses to try and keep him alive in an incubator. I said, "He is a miracle baby who survived two D&C's and is born alive because he can and he wants to live. They took him out of my arms saying they were going to clean him up and that is the last time I saw him alive. They called it a Miscarriage.
It is taking me so long to heal from this and it's not just this that is grieving me. My moms family were heartless before and after this happened which added to my grief. Plus the year before I had Quinn I had fallen in love with a man whom I have a strong psychic connection with but we can't be together. So he disappeared for two years. I left my husband (Who I wasn't married to yet) in 1998 and got back together with him 8 months later. When the man I love returned I had been through the loss of my baby and married my husband. So he gave up on me but astrally he is with me quite often.

This is what I am trying to heal from. I am in the worst health that I have ever been in. I gained 200 pounds and it has depleted my health.

I am not depressed and have a sense of humor too but my family doctor and my husband act like I am on the edge of death. I now astral project more than ever and am very relaxed in the astral world but I don't feel like I am dying but I do need to heal.

I use music to heal me through the grief process and I have healed mentally but physically my body is still reacting to the violation the doctors put it through.

On an astral level I have my astral guardian trying to heal me but I know he has kept me from dying more than once through this.
7  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / What is it called when...? on: December 24, 2003, 17:26:36
What is it called when part of you astral projects while you are awake and going about your daily routine? A woman told me once when I told her an experience of mine but I forgot.

One time two years ago my husband and I were staying in a church that had been turned into apartments while we remodeled our house. One day I was at my house working on my garden but I really wanted to be in my bed at the apartment because I was very tired. While I worked in my garden I visualized myself in bed and felt the comfort of being snuggled up in it. My husband showed up and looked very distraught. He told me he saw a ghost image of me in my bed and thought I had died. I then told him how I had been visualizing myself in bed.

Does anyone know what it is called when this happens?
8  Psychic and Paranormal / Welcome to Psychic and Paranormal! / I could use advice in this area on: December 21, 2003, 16:55:39
For 12 years I have been under psychic attack by a member of my family or a couple of them. (My mother and her current husband.) They use slander in the real world but both are pagans who use magic as well. I love my mom and tried to heal the situation by allowing her to visit my children on Sundays and talking things out with her but the wounds between us run deep right now.

A month ago I hung up a Mask of Barong Sai (which is thought to ward off evil spirits.) I joked to my husband, "If my mom quits visiting us it will mean her visits had evil intentions." I wasn't serious but what is weird is she quit visiting.

One day I realized there might be more to the situation than I realized. I remembered an old roommate of mine who was sad because her sister was alienated from her family because they didn't like her spouse. (Her sisters spouse was an ex-boyfriend of my sisters) At that point I was very tight with my family and couldn't understand how her and her sister could let a man come between them. I prayed that they would make up. Soon after the prayer my roommates sisters husband drowned. She and her sister made up and were reunited. I doubt my prayer had anything to do with it but I felt a little weird that the man died after my prayer. I didn't wish him dead. I just wished the sisters would make up.

Then a few years later I met my husband. My mother’s whole family hates him. He uncovered a fraud that my mom had committed against me over a trust fund I got from my dads death and some real estate that she invested my money in when I was under age. I didn't take them to court but I moved onto the land and made a home with my family. My mom’s family attacked us with everything they could muster. Including magic. I finally moved away in 1999 after my baby died from a doctor’s mistake.

It did not end my family’s attacks. In fact they still use slander to drive us out of town even though we own our own house and stay out of their lives. My mom took me to court for the title of the land the year my baby died. I settled out of court and she agreed to pay me $11,500. I sent the money back because to me the money wasn't the issue. The issue for me was because of money they got from me when I was under age they got 80 acres that they should have shared with me.

I love my family but my mom is a gold digger and I got in her way and she always thought she had complete control over me.

This past 12 years I have had many heartbreaking experiences from this situation. I gained a bunch of weight and my health has declined. Part of me wonders if it was brought on by the spirit of the man (whom died when I prayed the sisters would be united) or if it is just my family’s weird cursing energy.

I am healing myself and my spirit friend protects me as much as he can. He warned me of the times they tried to call the police on us with fabricated stuff. He also once jumped in me and cleaned my house to the point it had zero dust or cobwebs. The next day child protection came to my door and said, "We heard you live here without running water and that it is unsanitary for your children." Luckily the place was so clean they left us alone. That is when we lived in a trailer on the land. That happened twice when we lived there.

I don't know much about defending myself from psychic attack and would be open to hearing suggestions. (At least in things that don't cost money.) I am rather strapped financially right now.
9  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Consciousness! / Full Octave Tuning the mind on: December 20, 2003, 20:01:32
Lately my children and I have been playing a game with my full Octave tuning forks. We each take turns guessing the note of the sound and than try to sing the note. It has been really helping us tune our ears and balance our energy.

Today after I tuned and played my Celtic lap harp, guitar, and Dulcimer I started playing with the tuning forks. I fell into a trance. Afterward I realized part of the reason it's not hard for me to fall into trances and it is so easy to leave my body without any effort is because the stringed instruments and the tuning forks aid me in meditation.
For those who have problems being distracted by sounds and other things, you might want to consider trying full octave tuning forks or a singing dorji bell. It will balance your energy, tune your ears and help you fall into a trance. If that doesn't work for you try soaking in the bathtub and astral projecting while soaking in water.

10  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Projection Experiences! / I will share an experience I had this evening on: December 20, 2003, 06:38:10
Tonight while I was tuning out the loud laughter of my children and their friend in the other room.

I was curled up on my bed and my husband sat at my feet while he talked to his folks on the phone. I felt energy in my womb stirring. I find that my spirit friend likes to focus his energy there and he emits love from there up through my heart. He is trying to heal me from the loss of my infant son Quinn (who died because of a doctors mistake in 1999). He is healing me from a few other things too.

I relaxed cradled by his loving energy and I tuned out all the loud noises around me. Suddenly I realized he had pulled me out of my body again. I saw some men working on an electrical device. One of the men was about to carelessly hit his positive wire to his negative. I tried to warn him but he couldn't hear me. Then my husband spoke to me and I was back in my body again.  

11  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / OBE vs Sleep apnea on: December 19, 2003, 07:04:30
Hi[Smiley] I'm new here and I have to admit I've yet to read Mr. Bruces books. I only discovered something he wrote on the net today, which lured me here.

I'm an artist, musician, wife, and mother who has experienced a lot from the astral world but I never have been able to astral project by will. It happens in my sleep quite often since childhood. I have my share of astral friendlies who take me places sometimes.

I've had sleep apnea for several years now and part of me wonders if the astral travel in my sleep has caused this? When I went through a sleep study I found out the sleep apnea is quite severe and I depend on a cpap machine for breathing.

I have always felt safe in the astral world and with the astral beings who tend to linger in my life. The sleep apnea on the other hand has made me question the safety.
12  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Missing girl on: February 09, 2004, 08:59:33
Any News? Have they found her yet?

I dreamed about a murderer tonight. I posted it here
13  Astral Chat / Welcome to Astral Chat! / Chinese Fable on: February 03, 2004, 23:20:00
Thanks for sharing it.[Smiley]
14  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Missing girl on: January 29, 2004, 20:51:54
I really hope she is still alive and she makes it home soon. I hope my intuition is wrong.

When I mentioned her in my blog and posted her photo my computer did a strange thing it had never done before. When I shut my computer down it flashed her face on it. I felt a spirit tingling in my mind and a womans voice had said "Gracias" in my mind earlier that day.

15  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Missing girl on: January 26, 2004, 23:27:41
I look for signs in everyday things sometimes. Like when I copied her photo in your original post (I look at it every time I try to visualize where she is) it went into my picture file and has stayed next to the skull drawing I have in it even though I have put many more pictures in there since I put hers in it and it is also near a thing I wrote on 1-21-04. I wasn't thinking of her but now her photo is in the same row in my picture files as it. It was next to it for awhile. I wrote it here and then printed and scanned it into my picture files so I could post it in my blog on that day.

I feel like she is dead and at peace with herself but I have been wrong before. I hope I am wrong now. I pray she is well and returns to her loved ones soon.

That dream you had sounds awesome Andrew. Did you write any of it down or remember the tune? I have written songs from dreams before.

Like you I continue to search for answers.

16  Astral Chat / Welcome to Astral Chat! / Optical Illusion on: January 23, 2004, 00:22:24
Thanks those are cool[Smiley]
I have some to share.

17  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Missing girl on: January 20, 2004, 07:53:17
Tonight when I was trying to sleep I asked my spirit guide Saul if he heard anything about what happened to Priscila? He didn't answer even though I felt him with me and I drifted into sleep for about 10-20 minutes but the sleep apnea woke me up because I tried sleeping without my cpap machine. I started thinking about how my body has been reacting to the loss of my baby son in 1999 and how to heal it When out of the blue my spirit guide said, "That girl is dead." I think he must have been talking about Priscila but I'm not certain. He didn't say anything else about it. I am hardly clairaudient so it takes much effort for him to get me to hear him. He seldom uses words with me. Usually he speaks with visions, touch, and feelings.
18  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Missing girl on: January 20, 2004, 04:53:08
Does she have a history of disappearing acts? I know one person in my life who just up and disappears and returns when everyone has given him up as dead. I had a great auntie who vanished once. They found her wondering around as a bag Lady with no memory of who she was.

So it is quite possible that if this girl has memory lapses she still might be alive. I'll pray she returns safely.
19  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / A need for healing on: January 19, 2004, 20:59:22
Thank you Reedsong. My condolences for your husbands death and the loss of your baby. I agree music is very healing. I started teaching myself Celtic Lap Harp after He died.

Actually emotionally and spiritually I feel like I am healing well but my body is still reacting to it. I seem to be going through what I'd call, haunted womb syndrome. My body is acting like it is pregnant with weight gain, milk in my breasts, no periods. I had only bled 3 times last year.

At first my doctor thought it was caused by pituitary tumors but his tests were negative. Now he is putting me through mammograms and looking for cancer and claiming that I am going through an early menopause. All pregnancy tests have been negative and it's been happening to long to be that. My body feels pregnant. I even sometimes think I feel movement in my womb.

I have let go of Quinn and let him go into the light and he is an angel to me but for some reason my body is still having a weird reaction.

20  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Missing girl on: January 19, 2004, 20:39:03
I have tried to intuitivly find local people who have turned up missing (like a little girl who has been missing here since last year.) I can usually figure out if missing people are dead or alive but not much more. I could try to see what I can find in this situation but I think all I have to offer is my prayers.

I think you have a great idea. Sometimes it seems like the joint effort of a group could be able to get results better than a single individuals efforts.
21  Astral Chat / Welcome to Astral Chat! / Question for Robert and all parents on AstralPulse on: January 14, 2004, 03:07:56
I first want to say congratulations! The best of health to you and your spring baby.

I am a mom of a 9 year old and 11 year old. I raise my children to develope their own belief system. I share my beliefs with them but I don't push my beliefs on them. I tell them about astral projection and they think it is very interesting.

I believe we each have our own unique relationship with the cosmos and what may be good for one person may be the wrong thing for another.

When I was a kid my mom took me to a silva mind control meditation for astral projection. I layed down and tried to astral project with a room full of adults. I didn't get out of my body but I will never forget it. She took me to a few other meditation classes and soon after I got a meditation book called "Passages" and I practiced meditating and yoga every day. By my mom sharing her beliefs in astral projection it set me on my spiritual path. She didn't push it on us. In fact my older sister is still a sceptic but she shared what she was learning when we showed interest.
22  Astral Chat / Welcome to Astral Chat! / Vegetarians and Vibration Level on: January 12, 2004, 16:26:21
Here's a good reason to quit meat.
23  Astral Chat / Welcome to Astral Chat! / Spirit guides on: January 09, 2004, 13:35:22
It took a crisis situation at age 5 for me to know I had a spirit guide/protector. My mom was having an affair with some guy in Woodland Hills California. She left my sister and I with the Nanny of the guys son. The Nanny was obcessed with the guy and jealous that the man was with my mom. She threw me in the deep end of the pool claiming that I had let the toys float to the other end of the pool. She threw me in the deep end shrieking that I had to get the toys. I couldn't swim and she knew it bt when I tried to climb out of the pool she stepped on my fingers. My 7 year old sister stood by the pool dumb struck in shock. I did not sink. I felt a spirit guide me to cup my hands and do the dog paddle. The boy (who was my age (but knew how to swim) jumped in and helped me get into the shallow end. I got out and my sister and I ran home.

That is how I met my first of some of me guides. It took a life and death struggle.
24  Astral Chat / Welcome to Astral Chat! / Spirit guides on: January 09, 2004, 04:51:32
Sometimes spirit guides are dead loved ones who stick around to watch over you or a spirit that you run into someplace along your path. My guides are both.

The one that I am intimate with has been with me since I was a child. He found me when My parents were exploring ancient ruins. I also have dead loved ones who watch over me and my family.
25  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Astral Projection Experiences! / Summoning Astral lovers on: January 09, 2004, 03:39:23
This Charles de Lint novel "Memory and Dream" kind of plays with this idea.
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