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1  The Astral Library / Welcome to Writers Corner! / The Answer To My Prayer on: October 30, 2014, 09:47:32
Hardest thing I ever had to write. Most painful dream of my life. My soul knew it was true. I was reading Astral Dynamics by Robert Bruce before going to sleep.

I woke up this morning(technically yesterday since it is nearly 1am) after a dream. I was considering driving down to my parents' to figure things out, but I would have let my emotions control me.

In the dream, I remember asking my mom, "Does dad ever hit you?"
To which she gave an immediate "No."
I said something along the lines of, "Come on."
She said, "Well, you know he used to drink a lot more."

That was the dream. Here's what makes it hurt. Damn. Having trouble.
One night I was playing with my Ninja Turtles and my parents were arguing. Damn. Hurts. Shaking while I write this. I remember seeing my parents struggling down the hall over the keys to his truck. He was VERY drunk and my mom wouldn't let him leave. I don't remember if he left or not, but I remember throwing my toys around the room. That's when I figured out I could break stuff. My parents told me later that I shouldn't throw things. I still do to this day.

I don't remember if it was the next morning, or some other time, but there was arguing as usual, and I heard glass breaking in their room and screaming. I sat quietly in my room playing with toys. I was about nine, maybe ten. After school, I get home before my parents, rushed to their bedroom to look for more drugs, and the window was gone. The room was thrashed. I called my best friend and said, "Come look." Bottles and cans everywhere, through the window, just a mess. I don't know what happened.

In high school, I got home one night and argued with my dad some more. He pushed me into the sink and stood there waiting for me to do something. I called the police and they made him get a room for the night.

He had at least one affair that me and my mom knew of, and I wouldn't be surprised if there were more that I just never knew about.

These were the most memorable arguments. Then of course there were times more recent where I tried getting him to fight me. I swung on him one night a few times but missed and went to the bar after punching a wall, and drank a lot while the bartender was wrapping up my hand.

I think the question now isn't "If," but "why?" Why does all this have to be? I can't even talk to him deeper than surface level. If I get mad at him, he ignores me, and then tells my mom how much of an idiot I am. That's why our modern arguments end up with one of us leaving the house for a bit. Sometimes I wonder if we should just duke it out, but one or both of us would end up getting hurt. I left over a month ago. I'm sure I'll be back, and then leave again. I'm used to it.

At 28, I wish I could handle myself better, but I have High Functioning Autism(Asperger's Syndrome), and am constantly drugged. Other people are always taking care of me. I collect a federal check every month, otherwise I'd be screwed. I do have my driver's license, and my own car, so I'm not completely bonkers, just slow.

I've been on medications or drugs(Even Ritalin[Meth] in the beginning until I tossed that out) of some sort ever since 9. Now, I'm taking Prozac and Zyprexa. Anti-depressant and anti-Psychotic. But for the last few nights I haven't been taking them. All the sudden I have this dream that triggers memories and tells me why I'm on medication in the first place. I finally figured it out. The doctors aren't as greedy as I thought only days ago. My insurance gives them $1000 a month, and in turn, I stay quiet and ignorant. Peaceful. It seems like every time I make a huge stride in resistance, life throws me something, even if it's just a memory of something. I guess life had nothing else to throw this time.
2  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / I need to dreamwalk on: October 22, 2014, 11:15:21
My uncle is aging, and stress is killing him. I've seen him get real upset recently about things that were mere annoyances in the past. He had a stroke at age 4, and on top of that, his mother drank during pregnancy. I've tried helping him in the waking state, but he's too stubborn to listen. How do I enter his dreams and help him? His room is next to mine. What oil/s should I apply and where on my body before I go to sleep? Frankincense I assume? Also, what is the farthest I can be from him during dreamwalking? I have connected with someone on the other side of the globe once after an AP of lust, but this is serious. I figure if I can connect with his pure soul, we can work things out better as it is my understanding that physical form is a significant limitation. I imagine him being a lot more expressive in pure form. I love him.

Thank you for listening, and considering my plight.
3  Astral Chat / Welcome to News and Media! / Patience by Nas & Damian Marley!!! on: June 06, 2014, 15:31:35
I've been meditating on this song the last few days. I won't try to explain it.
4  Energy Body and The Chakras / Welcome to Energy Body and The Chakras / Re: Ears Ringing on: June 06, 2014, 15:08:12
Theres this youtuber RaImhotep El i beleive is his name ill link his video if i can. he basically says that when ever you hear a ringing in the ears a "being" is trying to communicate with you in a way.Youll have to watch the video yourself to really understand what he means by this i suggest you watch it.
Oh wow... Listening to the video as I type. I think there is truth to be said in what this guy speaks. Brief story as to why: A couple of months ago, I get back in touch with some people I had a grudge with. They are always talking about aliens, and things that our government doesn't talk about. I tell a new friend that I have Aspergers, and he tells me about Indigo Children. I start looking up videos on Indigoism, and find RaImhotep El's channel, and his video to Aliens and Indigos. Seemed like some guy just ranting, and I turned the video off and went on with life. Well, I just came to this thread because after watching some videos on lucid dreaming, and Binaural beats, and there is now a constant ringing in my ears. Even when the videos stop, and even when I take the headphones off. Now he's talking about crystals, and the friend that told me about Indigo, gave me a crystal and said it carried some powerful energy. Crystals have frequences, and I've been keeping the crystal he gave me next to my computer, along with about twelve other crystals. My ears are picking up so many frequencies, and everything is adding up.
5  Psychic and Paranormal / Welcome to Psychic and Paranormal! / Re: Possibly the strangest, most emotional dream I have ever had. on: June 04, 2014, 14:56:16
I think I just figured it out while remembering Bob Marley's line "Have no fear for atomic energy." Basically, no need to fear death. Easier said than done though, IMO. The dream was in nature, the main physical component of the dream. The main verbal component was death. Death is natural. Liberating, evidenced by tears of joy. Beautiful. Emotional. Inevitable. To worry is to waste energy.
6  Psychic and Paranormal / Welcome to Psychic and Paranormal! / Possibly the strangest, most emotional dream I have ever had. on: June 02, 2014, 13:06:45
I have never felt so sure about a dream, without knowing what I am so sure about, if you even want to call this a "dream." I've stuck my toes in the water of astral projection, but this seems even more real...

I was up all night, and lay down around 10:30, 11:00am today. Sometime around 1:00pm, I was dreaming about a hippie girl my age, and I was smearing food on her face, and this was supposedly how people in that area told each other they love one another. Even on platonic terms. And we were crying tears of immense joy, and there was nothing but an air of divine love surrounding. My only thought was joy. We were the only two beings in sight, and just past the edge of the forest on the edge of a grassy meadow about, say, 100 yards by 300 yards.
While radiating genuine joy, she smiles into my eyes and says "Don't worry Doug, we all die some day."
The phone woke me up, and I feel different about this dream. It didn't feel normal. I remember it clearer than water. I don't know what this was, but something, something I cannot focus on with certainty. I really don't know. I feel something about this dream, that is so positive, I can't describe. Surely as emotional as it was, there is meaning.
7  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / Re: My dog is ill on: June 01, 2014, 16:23:33
Well, what a downward spiral that was. My drinking went haywire. Get up, take two steps, fall, get up, couple more steps til I reached my bottle, vomit, drink, more vomit and drinking, black-outs. It was bad. I lost count of sobriety after 55 days. I'm on about 4 months now. Time has flown by. Somehow, all of this has made me a better person, and I have learned a lot about life.
8  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Rolling eyeball on: February 27, 2014, 08:10:12
So I had a dream one night after handling(not using) a miniature Quija board. I was in 70% darkness, and an eyeball rolls on the ground in front of me. It was brittle and dry. I don't remember if I ate it, stepped on it, or what I did. It kinda freaked me out. I've consulted multiple dream dictionaries, but there are so many varying possible meanings. Would anyone be able to interpret this one?
9  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Re: Small communities(Recurring) on: November 07, 2013, 20:41:07
It strongly suggests a spiritual development is taking place. You are forgetting about the old hat nonsense you've been taught and want to explore this new art with an open mind. The safe house you've made for yourselfmentally is working a treat. You know youre amongst friends too. The outside experience shows this.
You have no problems with this new learning.

Does this apply to you?
Yep. Been on a new path.
10  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Re: Small communities(Recurring) on: November 07, 2013, 17:06:01
It was more like a sewer that didn't have sewage run through it in years. The people living in it had it looking pretty nice. I don't remember if there was a task.
11  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Small communities(Recurring) on: November 07, 2013, 07:52:52
I looked up dreammoods, and a book I recently bought, but didn't find much insight.
I've had a dream of going to a sewer and finding a small group of people(6 or less) living there. I wasn't afraid, but felt drawn. Had this dream twice, once last night, and once the other night.
I dreamed of another camp somewhat recently, but this one was outside. I was walking through tall grass and found a camp in a clearing. IIRC, the outside camp had people I knew.
When I walked up on the camps, people were surprised, but didn't seem scared or defensive, as is with most homeless camps.
Can anyone shed some light on this?
12  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Re: Rainbow Gathering on: October 22, 2013, 04:20:51
To put it simply: A hippie festival.
Some people assume that "rainbow" means LGBT, but it represents all walks of life. I'm not sure how many of you have heard of Burning Man, but it involves the same type of people. Burning Man is more mainstream.
A Rainbow Gathering is a week long event. Actually, it is built around a week, but most people show up a week or two early to help set up, and stay after to clean up. People getting together in national parks throughout the year in Regionals, and the National is held once a year. There are multiple camps set up: Religious camps, non religious camps, rocker camps, and other camps. Most people find a pre-existing camp, and some stay by themselves.
Money is not needed. There is a barter system. It's pretty common to see people going from camp to camp, trading this and that to get a shirt, instrument, tobacco, or whatever. There is always work available, and among tens of thousands of people, chances are somebody needs something you can get.
Towards the end, there is a big "ohm"circle.
That's pretty much it in a nutshell.
13  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Rainbow Gathering on: October 21, 2013, 07:34:25
Had a dream of a Rainbow Gathering last night. I've been wanting to go for a few years, but have never been. The dream memory is hazy, but I remember a dirt road with travelers coming and going, and everyone was happy.
I know this means happiness, but where? Dreams can be very metaphorical.
14  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Cthulhu on: October 15, 2013, 05:56:19
I had a reccuring dream when I was a kid, of a GIANT octopuss chasing me down the beach. I had the ocean on one side, and cliffs on the other reaching high. All I could do was run. Years after this dream ceased, I started hearing stories of Cthulhu. Anyone else have similar dreams? Did you run, climb, or swim?
15  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Re: Hellhounds in a cemetary on: October 15, 2013, 05:44:39
I wonder if the hinderance is myself. I was born into Christianity, from which I've adopted fears of the occult, (AP and non Christian communion being one of the taboos) and I often find obstacles when breaking away.
16  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Re: Almost there... on: October 09, 2013, 23:50:33
I started attampting again a few weeks ago.
17  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Hellhounds in a cemetary on: October 09, 2013, 09:05:03
I dreamed I was walking by a cemetary at night, and two evil hounds were barking at me from the other side of the fence. I think their eyes were red. I looked these aspects up, but with multiple possible meanings for each, the final meaning seems like a needle in a haystack. Was wondering if anyone else experienced something similar, and what you got from it. My suspicions are there are evil entities that are upset at me for my dog's remains being placed where he remains.
18  Astral Projection & Out of Body Experiences / Welcome to Out of Body Experiences! / Almost there... on: October 09, 2013, 08:23:24
So last night, my projectable double woke up in my sleeping physical. As I was laying on my stomach, I couldn't leave my body before paralysis put my double back to sleep. This is the closest I've come to the exit in 5 years. I am excited, and know it is only a matter of days before I make an exit.
19  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / Re: Mind, body, and emotions taken over by entity? on: October 04, 2013, 11:06:13
Maybe burn sage, or use sage essential oil. If in doubt about what kind of sage, use white sage. It has been used to ward off negative energy. I'm not guaranteeing this will work for every issue, but it is worth a shot. Just one of many things to consider.
20  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / Re: My dog is ill on: October 04, 2013, 10:51:05
Thank you guys. Coping is easiER, but not easy. I'm still waiting on a visit, so I can have a bit of closure. I'd let Cali sleep in my room, but my rats are in there. Chicho had an auto-immune disease, which was attacking his body. Turns out some of his siblings had it too. I'll probably be done venting in a few days.
21  Spiritual Evolution / Welcome to Spiritual Evolution! / Re: The Silent Knowledge on: October 03, 2013, 10:48:32
Alot of what you talk about in this post has been a thought I've held(that's not accurate), a thought I've occupied(not accurate either)... Over the last few years, alot of this has rung true with me. Finally, an accurate body.
22  World Cultures, Traditions and Religions / Welcome to World Cultures, Traditions and Religions! / Re: what is your culture/religion? on: October 03, 2013, 10:16:09
I was brought up as a Christian. Now, I am Agnostic. I guess you could say I'm leaving behind what I was taught, in an effort to find things out for myself.
23  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / Re: My dog is ill on: October 03, 2013, 10:04:06
I felt bad letting him go, but it was best. I almost asked him to wake up. Cali is still waiting for him. Thank you soarin12, TheGuardian, and Sixx for your thoughts, and anyone who sent thoughts and healing but didn't post. I want to see him and how his transition was, but not sure how.
24  Healing / Welcome to the Healing place! / My dog is ill on: October 02, 2013, 07:13:13
The vets we've talked with seem to care more about money than helping. No vet we've contacted takes payments. Only 100% down. After going to numerous vets that say he only needs antibiotics that aren't working, he appears to have cancer. Something that the vets haven't looked into. He is so sick, (growth on his nose, white hair all over his face that wasn't there before[he is only four], toe nails falling out) that we are having to put him down tomorrow. I'm asking for healing energy to be sent his way during transition to the afterlife, and to his sister Cali, as she copes with the loss.
25  Dreams / Welcome to Dreams! / Re: Spinning Feather Device on: October 02, 2013, 06:53:27
Thank you for the link Szaxx. Dreammoods aids in reading between the lines, and each aspect has a similar foundation which makes things easier.
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