Art of Seduction: approaching women

[atalanta]

"And it has nothing to do with 'not being yourself'.

It's giving yourself the tools to get the women you want. Like you would install software on a computer. In other words: evolving!"

Maybe I am wrong or does this sound really sexist?  It brings up images of Neanderthal males with clubs over their shoulders going out and bringing their prize trophies by the hair!  Women are not 'things' to be won over using some 'tools' or computer program.  They are human beings and yes there are women who are going to fall for these methods but you are going to have to be fake in order to get them.  Any male that takes this up is absolutely 'not being themselves'.  Seduction, teasing comes out of the relationship, relating to each other, not out of some male who uses some 'tool' to convince a female(the target/object, etc) that he is worthy of her.  He should believe he is worthy of her without having to apply tools and programs because as soon as he does that, he is testifying that he is not that very thing.  That is, as soon as you try to act like an alpha male or anything else is the moment you are pretending and therefore not that thing.  

Sorry, blame it on Lacan.  God, some uni study actually stuck to me!

[]

[Reality]

quote:Originally posted by atalanta

"

[]

Ah you know it's allright of you to think that, and I won't even bother to prove you otherwise. I really like the neanderthal comparison though...lol!

But let me give you this. Insecurity and Neediness are your enemy's when dealing with women, and I'm sure the creator of this topic will agree with me.

[Ybom]

Where there's insecurity and neediness, it's the job of both (or more in some cases) of the people in it to resolve them. If neither are patient enough to want to deal with the worst of issues, then maybe the relationship wasn't meant to be.

Last time I counted there were over 3 billion of each sex on Earth. That leaves a good chance there's a fish for you too, even if you're a cannibal or something.

One thing I did like so far in this thread was the David D'Angelo reference. I did a quick Google on him, and I seemed to have come across his personal webpage http://www.oursites.org/daviddangelo/. Instead of going on about my comments about what I think so far, I'll send a contact out to him and await a response, based on an unbiased view of this thread.

[Reality]

Hey that is not the David de Angelo. That's another dude.

Listen if you want to know more or sign up for his newsletters. This is his real website: www.doubleyourdating.com.

But if you search well you should be able to find old newsletters on the web....just type "cocky and funny" and you'íl find some references guaranteed.

Have fun.

[Kazbadan]

Why does everybody says (Reality its with me) that you are stoping from being yourself? You are just being yourself while seducting a women, but you act litlle different. Please, dont come with stories! Everybody knows that when we are with someone we love (but it is not our boy/girlfriend) or the "target" you wich to conqueror the most natural thing it is to act differently! I dont believe that many of you can act exactly the same way. When she(he) is near, all of your body and mind react in a different manner. Only if you are a Shaolin Monk or if you have a heart of stone (wich are different things) i think that everybody reacts differently because of some main reasons:
- she(he) is the one("target", lover, etc) and that is enough
- It´s a sexual aproach (and dont say that it is not, that it is something spiritual, blabla, etc that i wont believe- unless you believe in Santa Claus too...) and in every sexual aproach humans, like other mamals and animals, will react in a different way in order to conquerer (and this is extremely natural, please if you dont believe start to pick up and read some Biology books and then observe human reactions).
- well, i had other good point but my mind get blank...if i remember i will edit this and put it here!

BTW, Reality: i think that that was the name: Dave the Angelo.

[Kazbadan]

Hey girls, check this out on David forum and then give you opinion, i am just curious on it:
http://www.doubleyourdating.com/page2.htm

BTW: lool, this is very funny, it seems that mens on this forum are trying to understand a strange being from other planet, lool[]

[Reality]

Exactly, it's indeed natural to act differently towards someone to who u are sexually attracted to...I mean when dealing with beatiful women its all to easy to turn into a wussbag because of their overwhelming beauty. But if you want to have these women feeeel attracted to you ...you have to stand above that by being confident, funny, and definetly not intimidated....in short ...stop treating them like they are celebreties. And really...it's the reality of a beatiful women that men kiss up to them and that they get their way no matter what....but then when they get to meet a guy like me..lol..they'il think ...hey...this guy is different then the others, he doesnt kiss my butt at all!

And here's a new perspective on the oh so great just be yourself advice...I mean imagine a dude who hasnt had a girl for 6 months, you tell him to just be yourself...then 6 months later...still nothing...just be yourself aint gonna be enough..And really what is being yourself all about? What is yourself? We were formed by information and idea's which have created certain attitudes and believes towards thing of how to act...sometimes you find that beliefs have been based on wrong information...an example of this is thinking that courting a women with the romantic stuff[diner, flower blabla] is gonna make them like you...

And the problem is...most men arent even themselves with women...they often tend to act nicer...which doesnt trigger attraction on its own..No i think u should never say to anyone again..just be yourself....not if that yourself hasnt booked any serious succes that is!

Then....we go back ...the cocky and funny part...you should really try it sometime...just behave like u have a little to much confidence in a funny way....u'il find that women tend to behave more open, and nicer and ofcourse shoot something funny back at you from time to time , its a really fun experience actually...and it feels natural.

well thats enough for today:)

[Reality]

quote:Originally posted by Vicky

Ok, here is my answer I think this is very true that women prefer very confident men. I myself got married for a one [:I] who used to captivate all of my friends hearts. He in my opinion is perfect - self confident. He doesn't say (usually) Where do you want to go? but says: I will take you somewhere. insetad. So, yes, the too romantic men are a bit boring  and irritating. But that doesn't mean a guy should not be romantic. He just has to know the limit. My brother used to have a girlfrined who he would do everything for and she took him for granted and felt maybe even too good about herslef. So she broke up with him and then he started ignoring her and really not caring about her anymore and then she "realised" how much she loved him[?] She started chasing him literally. The more he would ignore her the more she would be after him offering him to go out bliah bliah. So, that was my opinion [:I] I do think that a man has to be good in first place, respectful and confident

Thanks for your input. I couldnt agree more! And it perfectly makes sense that the girlfriend wanted the boyfriend back when he started ignoring her.

[Nay]

[] very humorous link.  So much thinking going towards something that really shouldn't be thought that much about..it should just happen naturally.

Yet here I am sitting, trying to think of what made me marry to the two men I did..(separate times people..[^])  I had many red flags from the first husband but I guess for my own personal path and on a unconscious level I knew I was going to be learning some lessons, I chose to ignore those flags.  He did nothing I liked..hehehe..sounds stupid now, but I needed a out... a out from a terrible disfunctional family.  I struggled for years trying to find the things that I wanted..well, long story short, we divorced.  

Ahhhh, now on to the new hubby..[][]

We met, we saw, we liked, we lived together, we married..hehehehehe [] it was simple as that!  No mind games, no pretending, no nothing...just us.  He is my best friend ever, we talk about any and everything.

Now for the differences in the two..

Hubby one... mean, abusive, controlling, a all and all out not nice guy. The one thing he had going was he was a great provider and a good dad.. This is for those who think women will stay with a man with lots of money...not true.  I gave up everything just to get myself back and what a pay off.  I'm blessed with two wonderful children from him and he taught me how to balance a check book..[]
Those were my lessons from him..

Hubby two...Kind, gentle, quiet, and selfless..  I can't say there was any way he acted that attracted me to him, it was his soul.  Ok, I know that sounds hokey but true.  Have you ever met someone and just have the instant connection?   You look into each others eyes forever?  We rarely argue and even then we call it, "having a discussion"..hehehe..

So I say....stop looking for "it" and stop pretending in order to find "it"..    "IT" will find you, when the time is right.

Nay

[atalanta]

Of course, we all act differently.  We are putting on a social face because we are not sure where each relationship will head and we are laying ourselves open.  This isn't just for romantic relationships, but all relationships.  It is part of the excitement of meeting someone new and sexual tension and the dreams of a future with that person, etc.  It is also part of self respect, wanting the world to see the best image of yourself.  Yes, we act differently, however, it is not about conquering.  Conquering implies a winner and a loser.  That if you apply these techniques, you will be a winner by getting the woman, however, this implies that you are currently a loser. It also implies that if you do conquer she will be a loser.  It is a win-lose situation in the short term but a lose-lose situation in the long term.

Here is my advice, learn to love and respect yourself, to know your true worth in this world.  If you can do this, lovers will fall at your feet.  People are attracted to confident, loving, happy, caring and honest people.  Do that and you will have all the women you want without having to convince them of your worth.  Look at motivational speakers, really there is nothing great about them.  They haven't cured any disease, stopped world hunger, but they are so attractive because every pore in their body exudes life, energy, confidence, caring, etc.  Don't copy them, become them.

Gosh, I think I will become a motivational speaker after all this![][]

[Reality]

quote:Originally posted by Nay

[] very humorous link.  So much thinking going towards something that really shouldn't be thought that much about..it should just happen naturally.

Yet here I am sitting, trying to think of what made me marry to the two men I did..(separate times people..[^])  I had many red flags from the first husband but I guess for my own personal path and on a unconscious level I knew I was going to be learning some lessons, I chose to ignore those flags.  He did nothing I liked..hehehe..sounds stupid now, but I needed a out... a out from a terrible disfunctional family.  I struggled for years trying to find the things that I wanted..well, long story short, we divorced.  

Ahhhh, now on to the new hubby..[][]

We met, we saw, we liked, we lived together, we married..hehehehehe [] it was simple as that!  No mind games, no pretending, no nothing...just us.  He is my best friend ever, we talk about any and everything.

Now for the differences in the two..

Hubby one... mean, abusive, controlling, a all and all out not nice guy. The one thing he had going was he was a great provider and a good dad.. This is for those who think women will stay with a man with lots of money...not true.  I gave up everything just to get myself back and what a pay off.  I'm blessed with two wonderful children from him and he taught me how to balance a check book..[]
Those were my lessons from him..

Hubby two...Kind, gentle, quiet, and selfless..  I can't say there was any way he acted that attracted me to him, it was his soul.  Ok, I know that sounds hokey but true.  Have you ever met someone and just have the instant connection?   You look into each others eyes forever?  We rarely argue and even then we call it, "having a discussion"..hehehe..

So I say....stop looking for "it" and stop pretending in order to find "it"..    "IT" will find you, when the time is right.

Nay

balance a checkbout

You should send a letter to David D sometime, he loves feedback from women, and he often includes them in his newsletters...woooh...your chance to become famous..lol..no actually not...he only shows ur initials

[Ybom]

Nay,
you described my relationship to a T. I just was pointing out that there are others who rely on the "it" will find you philosophy. The one thing that really hit home in your message though was "we talk about any and everything", which is one of those special signs...however it isn't the only one.

So, with that available, why would I want to have this new personality again? Permanent happiness vs not being me happiness? Your choice I guess.

Good luck []

[Kazbadan]

quote:Originally posted by Reality


And here's a new perspective on the oh so great just be yourself advice...I mean imagine a dude who hasnt had a girl for 6 months, you tell him to just be yourself...then 6 months later...still nothing...just be yourself aint gonna be enough..And really what is being yourself all about?

Nice point! When someones changes the attitude to become a better person (helping people, majing the goodness), etc, it is changing the "yourself" and becoming a new self. He(she) is making that for better. Now, with relationships it is the same. You are changing yourself for something better.

[Ybom]

Posted by Kazbadan:
"Nice point! When someones changes the attitude to become a better person (helping people, majing the goodness), etc, it is changing the "yourself" and becoming a new self. He(she) is making that for better. Now, with relationships it is the same. You are changing yourself for something better."

Reply by me:
I only sense bias beyond reason in your words. Can you prove that this way is better? Can you totally make me see why my ways are wrong? I doubt it. Just remember not everyone has to be like this to have a strong love life.

[Kazbadan]

No, i cant prove it but if you feel that it is better, why not give it a try? If you are (as said by Reality) six months, and then more six, etc being yourself and you cant get nothing in your loving life, why not try something different?

You still being your self. Why?

Imagine for a little: what is "I" of "me"? It is just a set of sensations. For example, if in majority, that set of sensation, the one that dominates it is, lets say, depression, so you will be considered a depressive person. And even if you have some moments of happiness, you still being considered depressive, just because that is the main sensation/emotion that dominates your being. Thats an unfair and quantitative view of the world.

Inmy point of view, we are just what we are in every moment. Of course that i understand that in such view, if someone is bad in all the time of is life, it is certain that he will see, in the future, the consequences of such act. Not because of some divine intervention, but because life it is like a pool game: you shot in a ball and the ball is going in the direction of some other ball. It is inevitable that such ball will "suffer" the consequences: it will be get "catch" by the white ball. This is karma: effect and consequence.

[wantsumrice]

Hmm, i guess i can be the living testament of that Ybom.  I used to be such a little unconfident guinea pig.  But once i analyzed the situation i figured that:

1) If i keep going on the way i am, i won't get any happier.
2) By increasing the chances of keeping the interest of a girl, i theoretically increase the chances of finding one worth the time.  
3) Hell, I'll be much happier being more confident.

So i changed my attitude, built up my body and increased my confidence.  By doing so, not only did my lady friends increase, but i was gaining respect by my peers and thus being much happier. [^]

It's all about choices.
~ivan

[Kazbadan]

At some weeks ago i was receiving (i dont know how or why) a mailing list of a guy that apparently is an expert in the art of seduction.

All that he says makes sense and i will resume briefly the ideas that he says:
Womans dislike guys that are always in their feet, "wussy" guys. If you want to "conquerer" a woman, you cannot give flowers and presents and being romantic because with that you are showing to the woman that you are interested on her and thats all. With a romantic behavior or by being always "chasing" (almost boring) a woman, you are just saying "I like you... please i need you, come to me!". You need to make the woman saying that, not you!


The problem is, if you wish to have sucess with her, you need to start to act in a way that will "trigger" the atraction in the woman. Stop to act by saying "I love you".

To achieve this you must act in what the author calls the "cocky-funny" way, you must be a little arrogant and pretencious and funny too. Imagine James Bond (Sean Connor)style: he hangs the attention of a woman by being funny and being arrogant (i mean, arrogant by showing that he is self-confident).

Besides that yo must play very well other games in the seduction: never say yes to a woman. If you say no to a woman you are saying "I am independent and i know what i want", i mean, if you ask to a woman "Where do you want to go?" you are showing weak power of decision and women loves men that know what they want.

Avoid giving to the woman what she wants, but give her that only when you want. Always show thatyour are the leader.

There are other points like your gestures and manner of speaking and dressing that affects too, but the point is: to seduct a woman act like being self-confident, cocky-funny and showing that you are the "boss". Of course that many times you must be gentle with her (give massages, kiss, etc) but not in a "wussy"/romantic way.

Always play with her and always have a good answer to her. F,ex:If she says that "You are not a man for me", you must answer to such in a nice cocky funny way, like if what she said is not important. Maybe you could answer "Generally womens are intimidated with nice guys like me and avoid (chickens) me by saying such things" and then give a smile." or "I am a race to high for your wheels to win, i understand you!" [smile again and change the topic].

So, womans: what do you think about this ideas (mens too, answer)?

Do you prefer a[:I] and [] guy or do you prefer a [8D] and[] guy?

[Hans Solo]

Now this is a topic I consider myself to be qualified to answer.  I am a pick up artist and well on my way to becoming a Pick up guru.  I am a member of a board at www. fastseduction.com (no, my name is not Hans Solo there).  Read everything by Tyler Durden PDF 7 on, toecutter, Mystery (go to the archive search, then find a little blue link that says Gzip archive).  AND DEFIANTLY READ TYLER 25 Points post.

The person you were referring to was David Deangleo and I am intimately familiar with his work.  However, first trying to be cocky and funny is a learning experience for most.  I would rephrase is to be 3 things : charming, cocky, and funny (most people that try this are not funny enough and come off like a**holes).  David is very cerebral but you only get good by approaching in the field.  

I have a little easier time because I am very good looking, but often because i do know David's techniques and many other women often call me a "player" (we all have our own hurdles).  

BUT the best thing you have to understand is TO BE THE MAN.
Never loose your cool.

Never supplicate (buying drinks, etc).  

Have alpha male body langue.  The easiest way I can describe this is to walk like you have a cape on and you can't let it touch the ground(walking very tall),you can't let it touch your back( you will be leaning back) and lead with your hips and not your chest (walk slowly).  In fact all your body language must be perfect (97% of all communication is body language.  Read this: http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/)

EYE CONTACT:  will help you the most early on (along with body language)  LOOK THE GIRL DEAD IN THE EYE AND MAKE HER LOOK AWAY FIRST.  This will be very weird at first but they LOVE it, and then approach.  Don't do this and then keep doing it--that is stalkerish.


The reason I have my name here of Hans Solo is because he is the perfect character with women (along with tyler durden in fight club).  Make your reality stronger and more interesting than hers and you will always get the girl.  YOU CANT BORE A GIRL INTO FEELING ATTRACTED TO YOU! Be the adventurous bad boy.

Princess Lea:  "I love you"
Hans Solo:  "I Know"

However, If you REALLY want to get good then I suggest you learn from the best in the business.

www.mysterymethod.com
www.realsocialdynamics.com
www.badboylifestyle.com

PS.  Don't fall into the "I just wanna be myself crap".  Once you internalize these techniques and theories they WILL BE a part of you.  Only, a more confident you that now attracts the type of women he wants instead of settling, and ultimately not  choosing the life you want to live.

[Frank]

Ha ha ha, that was great. Walk like you've got a cape on, lol, and a Utility Belt too I suppose, and take her home in the Bat mobile. :)

I'm sorry, I'm just joking, I truly mean no offence.

Hmm, but you reminded me of something and I was trying to think of the blokes name. Ah, it just came to me, Ross Jeffries, yep that's him. Wasn't he the original "speed seduction" guru?

It was back in the days when NLP was all the rage. Seems like an age ago but it was only the early 1990's. Funny how events come and go. But he had all these funny speech-pattern gizmos that you're meant to recite. Like you talk about blowing up a balloon and that's meant to symbolise having an erection and oral sex and that kind of thing. Problem with that is, from my point of view, I'd never want to be with a woman that would be daft enough to fall for that kind of nonsense.

I came across it because I was a fan of Dr Richard Bandler at one time and there was some reference or other that I saw. Thing is with all these "techniques" is they are like the door-to-door sales stuff, in that they all fall down when someone just slams the door in your face, or she looks you in the eye and says, "P*ss off freak, who do you think you are, Batman or somethin'?"

The thing about being charming, cocky, funny and good-looking is you have such a mega advantage over us "normal" guys. I mean, provided you don't fart in her face and puke on her bedroom carpet, you are going to get laid. In my experience, and I have had the good fortune to have had great relationships with some stunning-looking women (and currently do have), is a lot of these women get hit-on by charming, cocky, funny good-looking guys to the point of boredom. What I kind of specialised in doing was picking off the ones who wanted someone "different".

Facial looks do count for a lot, which is what scuppers me totally. But I always kept my body in excellent physical shape, which never fails to give a good impression. A coy, ever so cheeky smile helps too, together with a naughty but cute little giggle. Both of which I've managed to perfect over the years, lol. If I had to explain what I mean, then you have to give them a smile like you were having an affair with the woman, and you had to keep it private, like no one knows but it's bubbling out of you and you were almost trying to bite your lip to stop yourself. It's really difficult to explain and I'll probably get in trouble for this, lol. Anyhow, what I'm getting across is you can't just go smiling all over your face else you'll become that, "Weirdo who always laughs when he sees me."

Eye contact is extremely important. But if you just stare and don't soften it with a little "cheeky" body language (particularly facially) you'll fire off her stalker-alarm in an instant. Mouth expression is important too. Talk closely to a woman and you will see how much she is intimately interested in you by the number of times she'll look at your mouth. Become more observant and you will learn to anticipate her glancing down to look at your lips. As she does so you can "accidentally" make an ever so slightly suggestive lip movement like showing the tip of your tongue while licking your lips (but VERY subtly as that's highly suggestive of oral sex), or nip your bottom lip and flick it outwards and pout your lips slightly. I stress these actions are very subtle. Get this wrong and you'll fire off her, "Weirdo Alert!" alarm.

The other thing I would suggest to any guys having problems is to totally avoid all the typical "pick up" places and practice just talking to women generally while you are getting your body into shape. Getting your body into shape is 90% of it. Very little else impresses a woman more than a guy with a nice body. But you have to pretend that it's "accidental". There is nothing more off-putting to a woman than a guy who is so full of himself it makes her want to puke. Unless she happens to be one of the tiny minority of women who likes guys who are full of themselves. But these kinds of woman never interested me anyway.

Anyhow, talking to women is very important. I do this all the time, as it has become a habit with me. The places where I shop, for example, I know the women on the checkout, I know their names, and so forth. The woman in the post office, in the bakery, etc., etc. There are just women everywhere you can talk to. Even just a few words here and there. All the women in my locality who work at the places I go to regularly, they all know me and enjoy me giving them a big smile or a cheery wave if I see them out and about.

But like the eye-contact thing, you've got to modulate your approach otherwise you'll become that, "boring guy they just can't get rid of."

I agree about guys not buying drinks and stuff. That is so crass these days and far better to let them buy, it's a lot cheaper that way, lol.

Yours,
Frank

[Kazbadan]

So you are saying that body its 90% important...hmmm...my body its awful (genetics).

I think that luck its not on my side and that David DeAngelo just wanna sell more stuff when he says the opposite...

Why the hell did i born with a monstruous look? ARrgh!

[data]

I can relate to the fact that women like self confidence. I am actually quite an attractive guy and can seem confident to the uninitiated, until they get to know me and realize I have some social weaknesses and am very sensitive.

I have found I can attract woman, but I can't seem to hold onto them. In one case, there was one who was holding onto me!

But unfortunately(well, not really) this is me, I am sensitive, I am quite romantic and I do believe in love. I am honest and I am nice. I am the kind that admires beauty and would choose lover over power.
One of my philosophies in life is a woman is a very fragile creature, and she should be handled with sensitivity and care. She should be touched sensuously and caressed delicately. Because that is what gives her pleasure. And that is what gives you pleasure as well. To touch her soul, is to give her pleasure.


Ignoring her, being arrogant and cocky. Is not giving her pleasure. It's just feeding her ego, and her true self, her soul, is further buried.  Such women at the lowest, are constantly taken advantage of by men. Otherwise, a woman is a very beautiful and sensitive creature, and the sensitivity of a woman is what makes her a mother or a wife. It's all about yin and yang, friends. A woman is said to be an epitome of selfless love. Sacrifice is associated with the woman. She can love unconditionally.

Now, by not feeding her ego, It means I won't get many or any mates, then that's alright, because I am not interested in mates. What I want is someone who completes me, with whom I have a spiritual union - where I can feel love. Otherwise, why would I need a woman?

I am actually content in remaining celibate for the rest of my life and not having sex again. Sex does not make me or break me. I can live without most things in life, and if my ego fights me, I know I will overcome it with my sheer will and resolve.

I don't need a woman just for frivolous fun, social status, acceptance. No, thanks, that's just not me.

[Kazbadan]

I cant live without sex, love, womens & Cia!

Celibate: noooo!!!

[data]

Kazbadan, I often say, that if you take something away from you other than your very basic needs for survival(food, water and shelter) and you feel incomplete without it, then it's not good for you.

All you need is yourself. You are already complete in every way, just don't know it. That is why you are born alone and pass away alone. If you can learn to live in this frame of mind,you will transcend all desire and become a master of life.

Would you not want to be a master? A super conscious soul? A master, can both love himself and love others. When you touch the soul of others, you are giving them love. When you intently touch someone(or yourself) sensuously, sexually, to give them selfless pleasure, you are making love to them.
Try it with yourself or try it while eating food. You will notice what you've been missing all along.

There is difference between sex and making love. The souls loves and the love has an everlasting impression on your partners being. It really touches them. It's divine. The ego has sex and sex is not everlasting - for most a few min, for some an hour.

[Kazbadan]

There is no love.

If you say that love its feeling compassion for other beings, like Budha or Jesus did, well, in that case i think that there is a true love.

Now, the love that you see in romantic movies thats bullshits.

When i feel something for a women that because i need sex or some affection, nothing more.

If love between humans (the romantic love) was real, we wouldnt see so much spouses or husbands cheating each other.

[data]

I appreciate your honesty,

If I may, may I share some words of inspiration. Why so many spouses or husbands cheat on each other, is because most relationships are not based on love. Most relationships are based on what you admitted, needs, mostly bodily needs and the rest is power needs. That is why they cheat on each other.

As soon as the hunt is over and kill has been made, they move onto others. However, there are some relationships that are based on more than that. They are rare, but they do happen. They are based on love. They are the most rewarding relationships. I was talking to someone who had a relationship like this recently. He has been with his partner for 30 years. He told me how she was his best friend. His companion. His other half. He was merged with her. They were in touch with each other every moment, even when they were not physically with each other. That is true love.

What is love?

There are many forms of love, each form is based on a relationship, yes compassion is love too. Yet, they all share a commonality, they all have a touch. They touch you at the core of your being. When your heart is touched, we feel warmness and love, the kind of love we got from our mother.

When we are touched sexually, we feel a sensuality, an ecstasty, a tilitation. This is love also.

When I touch you, I am touching a certain aspect of you directly from my soul. When I shake your hand I am conveying friendliness. When I pat you on the back I am conveying good will. When I look at you with a genuine smile and tap on you on the shoulder. I am showing you compassion.

Yet, when I look at you playfuly and caress your body, I am being sexual with you. All are pure forms of love.

In fact you define love as the soul reaching out to another soul and touching them. It is very real. Have you heard the saying "touched by an angel" there are many who claim to have been touched by angels, and have been in states of euphoria for days on end.

You need a woman only for sex. No you don't. Your body needs a woman for sex.  Your ego needs a woman for affection. Your soul needs a woman to make love to.

You've never made love. You've had sex and this is abusing your soul's sexual energy, or your sacral chakra. Further, by treating women as objects, you are abusing your heart chakra.