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The newest version of the script cane always be found at
Anyway,I'm making a fantasy RPG game,and I need comments/suggestion/critisism on my ideas. anything will do. tell me why you like something,why you don't like something else,what do you think will make the game better,and what should be removed...

All of the mentioned above are greatly appreciated!

too all who are too lazy to visit the link,I'll post here the newest version of the script as I'm posting...the link might be more up-to-date anyway,though ;)

In ages past humans lived alone in Fengara,until one day portals started opening and lizard-like people came out.
They called themselvs the "letheot".
the letheot were seeking peace,and wanted friendly contact with the other world,
but the humans hunted them and killed them like they were invading hordes of demons.
then humans started invading Nehisel,and pillaged little hamlets.
the great mage of the letheot cast a planar seal spell,sealing the 2 worlds apart,
and so the last of the humans were killed in Nehisel,
and no human ever stepped foot in Nehisel since then...
3000 years have passed since then,and mages are gathering from all over the Fengara to break the planar seal at one point,
so humans can travel back to the Nehisel and conquer it...

CHAPTER 1-The mistakes of magic
Rick wakes up and gets brekfast from mom. he goes outside,meeting ginvec and his escort,Anny.
He agrees to escort them through a nearby forest.
They get to the meeting place. the seal breaks. evryone gets sucked in.
Rick lands with Anny at the northen edge of the lizard world,just a few kilometers before snow goes into sight.
After traveling for some time,they reach a forest,and in the forest they find a cave.
There they camp.
1.Forest bandit-in the side trail there is a gang of bandits. find the trail and kill the bandits to recieve extra cash(and mybe some equpment upgrades). should be easy with Ginvec.

CHAPTER 2-The great letheot empire
After waking up, they get to the other side of the forest,thus reashing Adremaless,the Capital of the letheot race.
as they enter town,they realise their mistake and that the town is filled with letheot.
the town guard notoices them and gives a chace.
They are quickly cought,and try(if player chooses so) to fight for their freedom,but of course,at that point,they are much of weaklings to beat the mighty
and trained letheot knights. They are Taken before the ruler-mage of the letheot and are interrogated.
The ruler-mage of the letheot race gives them 2 choices: to swear an oath and work for the lizard empire (for peace,blah blah etc etc) or to spend the rest of their lives in the dungeon.
of course,They decide to aid the lizards,and swear an oath. afterwards they are given travel money and their first mission,for which one of the new recruit knights joins them (Gus).
1.turn Rick into a swordsman-a training ground is located at the barracks near the castle. after swearing the ruler-mage an oath,you may leave Rick there for the entire next chapter,which will turn him into a swordsman,allowing him to equip a sword and achieve greater attack powers. this can be done any time after swearing the oath,but Rick will stay for the rest of the chapter in the training grounds.

CHAPTER 3-The first task
(note:it might be hard if you left Rick to train for swordsmanship...)
The mission is to retrieve a lance made with a doom drake's fang,which was stolen from the letheot by a sneaky Kresuner.
The normal letheot knights are too busy to handle this.
The party must venture into a small Kresuner village where the sneaky Kresuner ran,and invesdigate.
The party finds out that the sneaky one has hid it in a hidden cavern under a tombstone in the local graveyard.
After going deep inside the cavern,they find the sneaky one,but before they can capture him,a spirit whos grave was defiled consumes the sneaky one.
After that you find the remains of the sneaky one and grab the spear from him,with a note that says "I want it in my Tower".
The party then returns to the ruler-mage and reports.

Chapter 4-A messege of peace
The next mission is to deliver a letter from the ruler-mage to the netherfers. the contents of the letter are none of your concern,and you may not read it(at least the ruler mage forbids you to).
After the party reaches the nearest Netherfer village,Keshun,they are violently greeted with a legion of netherfers holding flaming spears.
They are sent to prison as no one is willing to hear them out. At the prison they met a prisoner named Shina who joined them and,after combining her power with that of Anny,managed to escape.
they are persued,and hide in the chiefs house,being sure they got away. they are found by the chief,arrested,but before being sent to prison again,they are able to hand the chief the messege.
The chief realises the error he made and orders to release the party,however he attemts to arrest Shina again. Anara pruposes to have Shina atone for her crimes by working for us,and the chief agrees.
Shina then permenantly joins the party,and the party returns to Adremaless and reports.
Sidequests: THE tower of sagolnesh to investigate what the note found on the sneaky ones body meant.

Chapter 5-The broken seal
<not written yet>

Character descriptions:
1.Rick Riddenson (Rid/Rick).
Description:Blonde hair,brown eyes. bright skin. tall,strong.
wears a sleeveless leather shirt(dark brown) and long leather pants(dark brown).
Might wear a headband(red).
Fighting style:Freestyle unarmed combat. no real martial art experiance.
Specialty:Forests(navigation,hunting,fruit collecting and the such...) and herbal knowlege.
Original job:Hunter/farmer.
Personality:Good at heart,kind and caring yet sort of hot-tempered.
Note: May attein swordsmaship later on.

2.Anara Omenas(Anny)
Description:Blonde,long hair. Blue eyes. Overally thin, tall and agile. avg' physical strengh,very low defence.
Wearing green,shining silk robes(and gloves) and shining green leather boots.
Might wear a circlet(?) or a pendant(?).
Fighting style: Archer (quickly drawing from an unlimited supply of arrows,she can shoot arrows pretty repeatedly)
Specialty:Cooking(no description) and communicating with nature(talking to plants,etc etc...)
Original job: Errand girl
Personality:Happy-go-lucky,cheerfull and outgoing. won't get down even at hard times.

3.Guspass Letherness (Gus)
Description:Purple eyes,bald. Very tall,hard skinned and strong.Very high defence.
Wears Armor made of Shullernots shell for torso,ankles and elbows. Undreneath it all weras a leather shirt/pants made from futoh skin.
Might wear a cape(red).
Fighting style: Stick-based martial art with a ruler(yes,He uses the thing you measure distance with to fight! of course he uses sharp ones.)
Specialty:Languages(He may communicate with elementals,which otherwise won't be understood) and smithing (don't ask him to make you armor,that's rude!)
Original job:Palace guard.
Personality:Strict,yet lawfull,noble and just. will never forgive an enemy and will never betray a friend.

4.Sheinala Kueteyus (Shina)
Description: Yellow-eyes,Bright white haired. a bit shorter than most,and has clear,soft skin. rather weak physically.
Wears a shiney-dark-purple breatplate and leather clothing made of Futoh's skin. atop all that she wears a blue-fur coat made of Grynm's fur.
Might wear a circlet(?) or a pendant(?).
Fighting style:Infernal magic(calling upon infernal powers to destroy foes is the idea)
Specialty:Magic (knows all about magic rituals,runes,potions and spells.)
Original job:Waitress(yes,at a restorount)
Personality:Shy and unhappy,yet loyal and trustworthy.

5.Ginvec Strayhuff (Ginvec)
Description:Black hair,blue eyes. avg' hight and weak body.
wears long green robes with a golden line going in the middle. purple cape which does not touch the ground.
Might wear a mage hat(?).
Fighting style: Custom Magician (Ginvec has his own,custom spells with summon the strangest of powers!)
Specialty:Magic casting,Ancient rune reading and customizing magic.
Original job:Researcher.
Personality: Lost,Shy and and dependable,yet courageous,generous and wise. Mostly calm.
Note:Temporary character.

6.Arghendalor Kantaar (Nargh)
Race: Telsolfo
Description:Red eyes,white hair. bright,clear skin. avg' hight,strong,speedy but no defence(AT ALL!)
Wears a black robe with blood red stripes and Kanji all over.
No one knows what shoes he is wearing,if at all.
Fighting style: Astral summoning ( Creating things in the astral is very easy,but Nargh can summon what is there into reality. this is like a power to turn ones imagination into reality.)
Specialty:EVERYTHING(that's right,he can even write a 3000000 page codex about leaf types)
Original job:Thinker?
Personality: Emotionless,pridless and cold. cares for nothing and no-one. wishes for very little. only thinks by logic.
Note:Bonus-Secret character!

7.Noyamolos-Ra Serezen (Nalos)
Race:quarter elf,quarter nethefer and half human
Description:Blonde long hair,deep blue eyes. the color of skin is a mixture of tan and purple (light).
High,not very muscular. Wears a circlet,and a heavy armor set (all are golden).
Fighting style: Mixed shifting (He combines Various magic types with the netural nethefer power within him to create dreadfull combinations. He is also able to wield a sword,a pike and an axe. he can even use bows or crossbows)
Specialty:World domination/destruction?
Original job:Prophet
Personality: He has inherited the arrogance,nerve and courage of man...Stubborness,intellegence and longevity of elvs,and the latent power of all nethefers.
Note:Yes,the Boss-of-the-end-of-the-game is a playpable character.

8.Nayafel Serezen(Naya)
Race:quarter elf,quarter nethefer and half human
Description:Blonde,XL(till the floor),long elven ears.deep bue eyes. the color of skin is a mixture of tan and purple (light).
Wears a pure white robe,an emerald necklace and an emerald bracelet on each arm.thin,high,agile.
Fighting style:Double bladed magic (She uses 2 blades at the same time,and echants them while battling using the latent nethefer power)
Original job:Housekeeper
Personality:Quiet,dedicated and caring...
Note:Noyamolos-Ra's Sister and right hand(if I'd make Noyamolos-Ra a girl,she then disappears :P)

Fengara (Human world):
Fantasized normalness.
Flat. Matter that falls off the edge of the world will fall down into the world from above.
Not much to describe here.

Local Race:
Elvs(duh,everyone knows elvs.)
Grudd's(Orc like beings. Brown,big and ugly. vile.)

Wild field animals:
Musquitos(lizard skin's too hard for you!)
Bears(you know)
Snakes(they bite! beware of poison!)
Spiders(same as above...exept smaller)
Tigers/Leopards/etc(Fast and furry)
Pheonixs(rare,usually friendly...but as an enemy,they are deadly)
Unicorns(A white horse with a horn and the power to shoot lightning from it!)
Prey birds(such as eagles...)
Giant mantis(No one knows where it came from*wink*appeared recently and is very deadly! avoid at all costs)
Living fireballs(only appear at volcanoes)
Sprites(little butterfly guys that shoots ice needles at you.only appear in magic forests)
Gathenozel(Looks like a floating ice cream cone with a rotten cone and fresh vannila ice cream. they sap the life of the living and regenerate. very powerfull,so unless your undead avoiding is reccomended!)

Wild sea/ocean animals:
Seaweed lifetrap(A really big seaweed. found very deep. feeds off sharks and baby whales,and will never refue a human delicancy ;) lizard skin won't do with him though!)
Pirahnas(you know)
Sharks(you know)
Octopuses(you know)

Nehisel (Lizard world):
Light brown grass,black tree barks and silver leaves.
Dark blue earth.Sky purple at day,Black at night.
3 moons. 2 white,1 brown.borwn biggest,and furthest.
There are half-transperant clouds(look light purple at day,invisible at night).
The Sea/Ocean water looks purple and is sweet.
Flat. Matter that falls off the edge of the world will fall down into endless void. none return from the void.
This world is rather chilly,as if it's about to rain all the time...
but it only does rain in high places.
The world has no sands-no deserts.

Local Races:
Letheot(lizard like humanoids,have wings[the makes also have short horns])
Nethefers(Purple skinned,white haired people with the ability to create flames at set distance at will.)
Kresuners(Brown furry giants. Posses the power of regeneration.vile.)

Wild field animals:
Flaming hounds(serve as horses for the Nethefers)
Smertsmors(Big eyes with snake bodies and a stoning gaze)
Besruks(Armless gargoyle guys)
Doom Drakes(the name says it. big fat red drake,rare yet deadly)
Sky Drakes(Like doom drakes,but has half as much power and twice as much resistance.Blue.)
Nrakes(small doom drake-like creatures. mostly tame and serve the lizardpeople as horses that fly)
Grynms(A big green worm covered in dark blue fur. moves at great speeds. Rare yet deadly)
Futohs(Slow hairy,big creatures. usually grey,look like bears with elephant feet and troll heads)
Cegs(Mosquito like,but they have 6 wings and a VERY hard skin. They drink Dragon/Lizard blood only)
Frungy's(The bacon of this world. Harmless yet delicious.they are 3 legged FAT[REALLY FAT] lizard like being with a VERY short tail and very short legs,and don't forget the tusks and soft skin! very lazy,but has high reproductive tendencies[that part is nessecery if I want to have a reason for them NOT to be extinct!])
Shullernots (Giant turtles with big claws and sharp teeth. the shell is spiked)

Wild Sea/Ocean animals:
Nagas(well,duh! big sea snakes that bite.)
Sea drakes(Blue,big creatures with organs for swimming. most are quiet friendly.)
Osmeosnogs(Like an octopus,but  3.1 times bigger and got 38 arms. very violent.)]

Herenfyne (secret world)
You won't be much here. this world itself is alive. the ground is made of flesh and trees with muscles are growing here and there.
The sky is bloody red at day(which lasts 136 houres) with 2 suns and pitch black at night(which lasts 134.5 houres) (if there are moons,they can't be seen).
No one knows what shape it takes,as no one ever reached an edge of it. theres no natural water in this world...thirsty creaters stab the ground and suck blood from within.
Also,when the weather is hot(and it changes) the ground gets soaked with sweat(not very comfortable I might add!)

Local races:
Giant mantis people (no one really knows their true racial name...big,hungry,evil)
Living muscle trees(they never cared for a racial name,and are about the only friendly guys you gonna find there. big,muscular,but can't move from it's birth place.

Wild animals:
Giant amoebas(for some reason they even have antennas atop them)
Giant fleas(uh...sick)
HUGE leechs(uh,they are big enough to eat 2 party members with one bite. stay away)
HUGE mosquitoes(they won't attack you,don't worry.)
HUGE flys( don't touch them. they won't attack you,but touching them is suicide as they are covered with poison :s)
My single,enternal to be truely free.


Sounds very interesting. Simple question:

- Will it be a computer rpg?

If yes, I'll have more questions.
I don't do much, and I do it well.


I am also designing an computer rpg game(3d, using cell-shading). I am curious what programming language you will use....


Heh, I'm also making one, but in 2D :) I'm going to use SDL and C.
I don't do much, and I do it well.


Of course it's computer,and I'm using a rather simple program's coding...err...
sadly,that one was never released in any language other than japanese  :? I got my copy hacked & translated.
anyways it's rather simple programming program which is specially made for creating it's much easier to make the RPG in this rather than normal codings :D however...
there are some limits,like,it does not support 3D  :?
My single,enternal to be truely free.


Do you know that programming 3d games is much easier than 2d?
Heh, I'm also making one, but in 2D  I'm going to use SDL and C.
:)  I am using SDL and C++(there's nearly no difference between C an C++) too. SDL for window management, input, sound and other things, and Open GL for graphics. I've found an excellent site about 3d game development:
It explains everything and is very easy to understand.
All objects are being created using Milkshape 3d. My brother has talent for creating 3d graphics.
Could both of you tell me more about your games?


Yeah I worked through some of Nehe's tutorials a long time ago, but didn't continue for whatever reason.

> Could both of you tell me more about your games?

I just started with writing the story some four days ago, so not much I could tell yet. I will first finish the story, then I will decide what to do next.
I don't do much, and I do it well.


Quote from: Jenia_SanOf course it's computer,and I'm using a rather simple program's coding...err...
sadly,that one was never released in any language other than japanese  :? I got my copy hacked & translated.
anyways it's rather simple programming program which is specially made for creating it's much easier to make the RPG in this rather than normal codings :D however...
there are some limits,like,it does not support 3D  :?

What program is it? Maybe it can save me some work.
I don't do much, and I do it well.


if you are gonna search for it,put spaces between the parts...
and don't forget the RTP(Run time package)
My single,enternal to be truely free.


Thank you. I tried a similar sounding program quite a while ago (I think it was RPGMaker2000 or so), which seemed quite powerful, though very complicated, in my opinion.

I will check it out.
I don't do much, and I do it well.


Well no wonder.
since then even RPGmaker 2003 has been released,but,lacking a VERY important part,was soon labeled as "FF game maker" by japanese people and Don miguel,the person who officialy translates the RPGmaker series,refused to translate it.
Not too long ago (not more than a couple of month ago,I am sure) RPGmakerXP was released,and hacker hurried to translate it to english...I don't know id Don is planning an official english verion,but even if he isn't,RPGmaker XP is somewhat easier to use than 2003.
it also had one big limit removed-the limit of the size of sprites!
My single,enternal to be truely free.


Please people comment on something!
you could say I really want to know what the public is thinking!
My single,enternal to be truely free.


all i can say is I WANT ONE lol


My single,enternal to be truely free.


Jenia-san, I respect you for being humble about your skills, but are you sure it's the proper development method?

I mean I'm making a few games myself, but it is a general rule of good game design to not develop it publicly. However, since you wish to not follow this rule, I'll pm you with some things I think could really help.
I come prepared...with COOKIES! No, you can't have one!


Besides what you stated above, does Rpgmaker xp improve on anything else?


Well, I just googled a review of RPG Maker XP, and it seems like the major new things are 1. a new max image size, and 2. a new scripting engine.

I'd also assume some of the reference material and some of the advanced layout features would be a little more developed. Good luck if you plan on using it!
I come prepared...with COOKIES! No, you can't have one!


Well,I announce it publicly as I desire a public opinion of my ideas.
I'm making this game for the huma...err, normal people!
so I want to know what different people will think of my ideas.
Like I stated in some other place,my ideas are special and different,and are often considered strange,weird and bizzre.
this game will be a combination of my skill with RPG's (and I DID play a lot,no need to hide that...finished at least a 100 of em'!),knowlege of typical things and my skills.
this way it shjould be loved by all,be special,without being disturbingly bizzare to normal people.
My single,enternal to be truely free.