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My brother passed away. :(

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Kodemaster

Hello everyone. I am sorry I have been away for some time. A lot has happened in my life.

My brother crossed over to the permanent astral plane two weeks ago. He was only 43. I'm having a hard time processing the grief, and taking it one day at a time. I come from a...let's say...unkind household, with a lot of family drama on both sides. Of course, certain family members took it upon themselves to take advantage of this unfortunate situation and try to cause drama with me. All I want is peace, for everyone, including those blood relatives who lack empathy and feel a strong desire to control and manipulate others. Inner peace, however they find it, needs to come from within.

As I seek my own inner peace, I am trying my best to hold it together. Every day is different. The night I found out he had passed, I looked at old photos of us as kids. I scanned the better ones and posted them to his memory wall. Per his wishes, I planted a tree in his memory.

The stress from the grief plus the added family drama has worsened my physical conditions. I know it's temporary and I will carry on. I feel horrible for his wife and kids.

Closure, some took place when I reconnected with my aunt, cousin and her husband. I healed even more when I got a text back from my sister-in-law (his widow) acknowledging my condolences. My heart breaks for her and her kids.

I drew this picture in his memory.

https://www.deviantart.com/artbyjenx/art/I-planted-a-tree-in-Heaven-Jimmy-1098730267

I offered to cook for them.

I'm trying my best.

JenX
Choose empathy. It costs nothing.
Curious about #Welsh? https://www.youtube.com/@JenXOfficialEDM Learn with us!

EscapeVelocity

I am so sorry to hear of your loss Jen, my tender thoughts for you and your family; too young to lose a family member like that, nothing lessens the difficulty in dealing with such a loss.

I lost my mother in June; she had a good, long life but ended with a difficult passing. I am still trying to process, so I share that with you at the moment. Just plain difficult...

Your art is quite passionate with the primacy of colors and contrast...nice work.

Peace to you and yours,
EV
Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.
                                                          -O. Wilde

LightBeam

My sincere condolences to both of you, Jen and EV! This is the most difficult and painful challenge of this reality. Loosing loved ones can be incomprehensible for a period of time. It happened to me when I lost my dad, then my mom a while back. Also losing pets was extremely painful for me. Over time, we accept it. We know they continue to exist and we are together, as we are multidimensional, but still we miss the 3D existence and interactions with them. I hope you find comfort. You can ask them to give you signs that they are with you and they are ok. I had done this after losing loved ones. And every time I had a sign from each of them, letting me know that they are ok and happy. After my dad passed away, I was absolutely crushed to a point where I could not function. As I was laying on the couch and crying, I had the radio on and suddenly the host interrupted the program and said " a very special song request". Then my dad's favorite song started playing. I have never heard this song on the radio in my life because it was a very old song from his youth that most people had forgotten. This was NOT a coincidence. I knew that was his message to me that he did not want me to grieve so much. Later I had many APs with him that gave me the greatest comfort.
Shortly after my mom passed away, I went to pick up some food from the local restaurant because I did not feel like cooking (which is unusual for me. I love cooking). I was looking at the menu and selected a pasta dish with Bolognese sauce. When I picked it up I opened it and it was Pomodoro, not Bolognese. I told the server that they made a mistake, but he said, no, you said Pomodoro. Another person also confirmed that they heard me say Pomodoro. I tried to recall what I said 20 min prior when I was ordering but I could not recall at all how did I order my food. This again is very unusual for me because I have a very sharp mind and memories. Then it clicked "OMG, this is mom's favorite pasta dish". I smiled and I knew that she made me order Pomodoro to bring my attention that she is with me.
"The problem is not the problem. The problem is your attitude about the problem."
Captain Jack Sparrow

Kodemaster

Thank you both for your condolences -- and I am sorry for your losses.
Anymore it feels like I am waiting for the next shoe to drop; I lost my beloved Nicki cat suddenly in 2023, one of my best friends suddenly Oct 1 2023 and now my brother. :(
JenX
Choose empathy. It costs nothing.
Curious about #Welsh? https://www.youtube.com/@JenXOfficialEDM Learn with us!

Frostytraveler

#4
Condolences for all of your losses. As many of you know, the passing of loved ones, especially my cats, have been one of the biggest challenges I have faced in life. They were that special. Processing their passing pushes our ability to process life in this physical world to the limits, but it can be done. It's always important to have a network of people to talk to, be it family friends or members here. That is of great help. From time to time, I have seen those who I have lost again in the Astral or in the RTZ. They live on, I'm sure of it. But...as LightBeam said, not seeing them in our 3D world still poses a challenge, but things get better.
"Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all the heavenly glory." Bruce Lee

Xanth

Please accept my condolences to you and the rest of your family.  Not an easy time for anyone. 
You can only do your best, try to filter out the bad actions of family.  So sorry Jen. :/

tides2dust

#6
I pray for your continued connection with your Brother, and a strengthening relationship with God. It seems we're meant to experience these things.

I do like your drawing and the colors.

You said it your self, you are trying your best. Remember that, and move gently. 

Tak

My sincerest condolences to you, Jenn! Sending love, light, and support to you and your family during this difficult time. Also, to EV and LB.
One might think astral projectors are better prepared to handle situations like this, but we see that's not always true. Death is always a painful process.

But I think there's no greater gift than knowing we're eternal and our loved ones are still alive and well (perhaps even better off than us) and that we'll reunite someday. To think otherwise would be heartbreaking. We should consider that they've simply 'moved'.

As LB said, since this is recent, it might be the perfect time to ask for a sign, as they're still closer to the Earth plane. Later, as they transition to higher realms, it might become more challenging for them.

I must admit I haven't experienced losses like this. I only lost my elderly grandparents, who had many health issues, and death was a liberation for them. They've visited me in dreams, and I told them I knew what was happening here and that I practice AP, and I'm somewhat aware of how things unfolds in the afterlife. My maternal grandmother occasionally visits, and we walk through forests, sharing a cup of tea together. I once joked that when my time comes, I'll throw the wildest party they've ever seen! I don't know why I said that, but I made her laugh hard, and she gave me a warm farewell hug.

Honestly, I no longer want visits; I want them to move on to higher dimensions, forget their human experiences, and be free.

I also struggled with losing my cat. He visited me, accompanied by another cat who seemed like his guide. Do animals have guides? That's how it felt. Eventually, he left with a big group of cats. Perhaps he was still part of a collective mind.
I still cry about him seven years later!

You are a great artist Jenn, trees represent family ties too.
Sending hugs!
Tak ❤
.~Exploring the Wonders of Consciousness~.

Kodemaster

#8
Thank you everyone. I am a mess emotionally and physically. "Moved" is a great way of looking at it. You're right, he's probably better off on whatever plane he had moved onto. Look at the way people treat each other on this globe. Maybe he's at peace now, I sure hope so. And thank you to those who looked at my drawing and commented on it. It means a lot to me.
JenX
Choose empathy. It costs nothing.
Curious about #Welsh? https://www.youtube.com/@JenXOfficialEDM Learn with us!

Frostytraveler

#9
Tak, I have experienced that cats do have a higher self, and possibly guides as well. I have also experienced they do come back via RTZ and Astral visits with other cats who have passed. Cats seem to be able to pierce the veil more easily when alive, and also when passed. I may elaborate on this on another thread sometime. They have shown me that the Astral, the RTZ and the afterlife is real and that they are always with us. I try to use these experience to better accept and process human losses.
"Don't concentrate on the finger or you will miss all the heavenly glory." Bruce Lee

Xanth

Quote from: Kodemaster on September 26, 2024, 03:01:15Thank you everyone. I am a mess emotionally and physically. "Moved" is a great way of looking at it. You're right, he's probably better off on whatever plane he had moved onto. Look at the way people treat each other on this globe. Maybe he's at peace now, I sure hope so. And thank you to those who looked at my drawing and commented on it. It means a lot to me.
Not sure to the extent it helps, but, you've always got us here at the Pulse.  :) <3

Kodemaster

Thank you. This place always felt like home. :)
JenX
Choose empathy. It costs nothing.
Curious about #Welsh? https://www.youtube.com/@JenXOfficialEDM Learn with us!