Does anyone else feel un-natural?

[TheDarkApprentice]

First off id like to say that its nice to be back on the forums again. I havent been here since February(and i dont really know why) and somthing has drawn me back here again. Anyways, if your expecting some enlightment or some crazy experience and whatnot, then your reading the wrong post. This is just me basically ranting on and being a typical 17 yearold. Anyways, heres my post.(Note that my words arent in any particular order and are quite random)

I started coming to this site in July of 04'. I had always been entrigued of psychic things and what else is out there. On these forums, I learned alot about life. And not just astral experiences. I found out more about myself and why I am here. Astrally and metaphyically speaking, I didnt have much occur to myself. I did accomplish a partial OBE and felt really good while doing basic energy work, as did my body, but in someway i drifted away from the whole energy aspect of life and all the basic training I had done for about 6 months.

But I have also gained alot of knowledege talking to more people in my life now and I have felt a whole lot better then I did when i was depressed a year ago. But I still feel like im missing somthing. And Im not sure what that is. Id like to do more energy work and stuff portraing to that nature, but I have a hard time doing somthing every night. IE Im a slacker. Im trying to change, but its hard.

Now I come to the topice of my post. About 3 months into doing energy work and learning about the various things on this site, I started to feel that I was meant for somthing big. I mean I can feel it. I dont know what it is, whats the purpose, is it good or evil, but i feel im meant for somthing.

Well.....I hope so at least. My problem is that all this enegry stuff comes un-natural to me and I think that Im Wishing that Im meant for somthing big. Like I say Im meant for somthing big, yet I dont know that in the back of my mind my sub-concioius is telling me that I am and that im not meant for anything big.

But I also know that you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Yet......I have this feeling that I was put on this Earth for certain things, but in reality I want somthing more, and somthing or someone doesnt want me to try to acheive these things.

Does that make sense to any of you? I guess I just feel that im not natural at alot of things in my life, astral stuff included, and I feel that I want more, but somthing is holding me back and I dont know what. Yet ive put in alot of time in certain things, but then Ill see a friend who doesnt have as much intrest in a certain subject, have somthing happen to them and not to me. I mean.....I havent had anything paranormal happen to me yet. But I just feel that its not natural for me to feel these feelings, and that if i want somthing in my life then that thing is going to take alot of work and be un-natural

Well thats my post. I think i said the same thing about 10 times there, but whatev. I actually dont know what i just said. Lol. Quite confusing

[Namra]

I too feel like I am meant for something big.  As a matter of fact I can almost pinpoint what that something is.  I also have motivation problems and feel like I am slacker.  In a way we are almost in the same boat.  Only I know for a fact that I was meant for something big.  I just need to know how to act on it.

What you said was not confusing at all.  Ultimately you said you do not yet know your place in life, you are wishing or hoping that it is something big but you believe you are predetermined to follow a certain path that is not so big.  You are a bit of a slacker but it is your wish to overcome your destiny and make a new one for you where you really accomplish something.

I think we are here on this website for the same reason and I think we are hoping to find the same answer.

[TheDarkApprentice]

Lol yes Namara. Thats basically what I was trying to say, i have a bad habbit of rambeling though.

Yeah its also heard to act on somthing big when you dont know what that thing is, if its somthing even at all or is just somthing in your head, or if you even have someone to guide you.

I myself am not a leader type figure. Or someone whos good at learning on their own. So its tough to learn all this stuff by myself via internet. Yet, there are several people like myself doing the samething. And if they can do it, then so can I

[Leyla]

Being young people you naturally hope to be destined for greatness.

If you really want to find out, an idea I suggest would be to consult with a good psyhic who can tell you what direction lifes path will be taking you.

Because a good psychic is hard to find I will give you this tip: Absolutly do NOT go into one of those houses that advertises with signs.  They operate scams, telling you you are "cursed" by "evil spirits" or that someone is working black magick against you. They then offer to cleanse you from this imaginary negative influence, charging anything from $50, all the way up to $2,000.

The best way to find one is by word of mouth,  or go into a little local magick shop. They almost always have a psychic working there, one whom they have tested and know not to be a fraud, so they will not bring a bad reputation to their store.

I went to several "good" ones in my 20's. They all recited the exact same story to me. Much of it has already happened. Some of it is yet to be.

[IequalMC2]

I did feel unnatural, until yesterday.

[TheDarkApprentice]

I did feel unnatural, until yesterday.

Please elaborate Iequal

Looking for a psychic is a possibility. The thing is its hard to find a legit one. And even if I did, Im not going to everything they said literally. IE If a psychic said my purpose was such and such, I wouldnt change my life how it is too meet that certain thing that they see. Yet, Id still take what they say into consideration

[one_each]

First note, don't worry.  Random rantings are normal and this stuff can be quite confusing.  Everyone seems to have the 'right' answer and they all say different things.  The truth is the only one who is right about your life is you.  I might have a few pointers, but you are the only one who can bring the real changes into your life.  I'll try to help organize your thoughts a give you a few bits of information that might help you out some.

...somthing has drawn me back here again

Sort of a still quiet voice or feeling in the back of your mind?  I've always called it my inner nudge.  Some would say it's the voice of God and others would say its your Spirit Guides.  Personally, I think its my higher self, but that may be a bit egotistical .  Listen to it and take it as advice.  Don't just blindly follow it, use your best judgment.  I've found that if it is a gentle, but persistent nudge its something I should strongly consider following.

My problem is that all this enegry stuff comes un-natural to me...

...I started to feel that I was meant for somthing big.

You are.  However, it may only be big to you.  That inner nudge is almost always geared to you and your development.  However, in the act of you becoming the better you, the world around you will be changed by your growth.  Exactly what that will be was chosen by you before you were born.  The fact that you don't remember the challenges you set before yourself is what allows you to grow.

But I have also gained alot of knowledege talking to more people in my life now and I have felt a whole lot better then I did when i was depressed a year ago. But I still feel like im missing somthing. And Im not sure what that is. Id like to do more energy work and stuff portraing to that nature, but I have a hard time doing somthing every night. IE Im a slacker. Im trying to change, but its hard.

There is a lot of stuff in this paragraph.  First off, lets talk about being depressed.  Energy work is demanding in many ways.  It is very easy to grow in the spiritual things and have to play catch up with the emotional, mental and physical parts of yourself.  In other words, you over did it.

Feeling like your missing something is very common for anyone at your age.  Talk to your friends and ask them if they feel the same thing.  Most of them will agree with you.  Your still learning about life and such.  Adding in energy work and OBE's and AP's and all this other stuff can add to the daily stress of life.

I would suggest that you DON'T do it every night.  The depression is just one sign that you are not ready for it.  Take it easy or you will see many cycles of hard work followed by depression.  I know I did.  Remember, your not a slacker.  Your just not listening to what your whole self is telling you.  The nudge tells you to keep going and the rest of your self can't keep up.  There is a balance between these two and you will find it.

[TheDarkApprentice]

Thanks for the reply.

Yes i know its not the greatest thing to energy work while depressed. Im actually not anymore, havent been for 3 months or so. But when I did do energy work, I was depressed for the most part.

My thoughts were that maybe since i wasnt emotionaly balanced, that I didnt achieve the exact results that I was looking for while doing these type of things. Although I did feel good while doing it

But now I am a lot more emotionally balanced and am going to start looking into more of this type of stuff again. But I agree, If you are depressed or not feeling the greatest, then dont do energy work or anything in that area every night. It will become too much on you if you already have so much more to think about. Especially at a young age. My problem is, was that Im 17, almost 18, and I feel mature for my age. I have 3 younger siblings and most of my friends are 17-24 range so I just feel emotionally ahead and want more for myself and life. Yet when in reality, im still only 17 and I still have limitations to face. But I want to do things fast and face these limitations now like most young people. Its all quite tough sometimes lol

[one_each]

I remember those years and I would guess they are harder now then they were when I went through them.  Stick it out, it will get better.

Yes i know its not the greatest thing to energy work while depressed. Im actually not anymore, havent been for 3 months or so. But when I did do energy work, I was depressed for the most part.

The point I wanted to make was that the energy work could have been the cause of the depression.  You see, as you grow spiritually the rest of you needs to keep up to keep you in balance.  As you get out of balance, your life seems to turn upside-down.  Its sort of like spiritual pain.  If you exercise too hard an pull a muscle, then that muscle will hurt and you will naturally slow down and take care of it.  Spiritual growth can put a strain on the other parts of your self (physical, emotional, mental) that will show up in your life.  In your case, the energy work may have caused the depression to get you to slow down.  Which it did eventually.

What I would suggest doing is starting slowly in an area you feel comfortable in.  If something feels un-natural, then you might not be ready for it.  If you still feel a nudge to continue, go slowly.  Try once or twice a week instead of daily.  If your life does not get upset and the depression does not return, then bump it up to three times a week.

Most of all, don't get down on yourself.  It does no good and only makes it harder to get anything done on any level.  There is no urgency, take your time.  You can accomplish anything if you don't give up.