closer? or farther?

[xxsicknessxx]

I woke up last night.. and had a weird series of OBE dreams! I dont think any were real obes.. but let me relate..

For one (this happens a lot) I heard music, and saw tv that wasn't really on.. in fact I turned my tv off but when I woke up this morning it was still on..  

I woke up a few times during this.. I was able to leave my body but I think it was a dream.. I had to  fight my body sorta to leave it.. which was weird.. I did not get the humming this time (why I feel it wasn't real) and I would leave my body to get pulled back (which happened last time) Except a few times I got all the way out.. some times things look very dull grey, and I Could usually still hear the music/tv or feel my body.. once I got out and things looked so real and I saw my dad but then he was talking to me as was my brother and someone else (I think that was a dream) I also went somewhere that looked so real, and sounded and felt real.. but I had no control.. and When I thought of white (somthing I do in dreams to see if im dreaming) I was able to destory everything like it was just a dream..  Sad So im not sure am I closer or was this a lame lucid? or somthing? I really thought I had it, but no humming this time.. was exciting.. though

[xxsicknessxx]

well how do I make it more clear? I tried to sorta gain controll but why could I still feel my body? Why cant I ever seem to seperate all the way?