Ex-boyfriend in the astral again...

[violeteye]

I hope this is the correct forum.  There are two AP experiences that I'm curious about towards the end.  I just want to give a little background...

This sounds so pathetic and I am ashamed to admit that this man I dated briefly over a year ago haunts me in my dreams and the AP to this day.  After being with him I had my first astral experience.  He or something that took his formed pulled me out of a dream and began talking to me telepathically.  I briefly described it in another posting.  It changed my life.  It set me on an entirely new direction with my life in every way.  The first 6 months I dreamed of him constantly and would see him in the AP occasionally at a distance.  In the dreams we would have different relationships to one another.  One time I was his mother another he was the older boy living upstairs from me and in other dreams we were lovers. Both of us looked the same except the hair color and style would change.  I once had a vision (hypnogogic image) of a person whom looked equally male and female like a perfect cross between us.

For crying out loud the last thing I want to be is another bleeding heart that can't let go of someone who obviously doesn't have mutual feelings.  It's embarrassing. I hadn't dreamed of him for 3 months and then 3 weeks ago I dreamed of him.  I wasn't as emotional as in the past.  I thought, "Oh I'm really getting over this.  What a joke it was.  Why did I torture myself so?"  

2 weeks ago I was reading up on the Laws of Attraction and Manifestation attempting to manifest a new job and suitable mate (I had just attracted another dumb experience with a guy).  I was in the "joyful" place requesting what I wanted and then a voice said, "You're supposed to dream big.  What is the thing you wish for more than anything in the world?"  Of course I laughed and said, "Well, to make peace with S and to have him back in my life" (I had not seen him for a year and 3 months). I laughed again and dismissed it thinking, "I'm so over him."  

3 days later, I'm at an art fair with over 40,000 people.  It was a 2 day event and I went the last day 3 hours before it ended.  I was walking around by myself and was about to go back to the car when I said to myself, "oh but my intuition tells me to go one more block because you never know who you could run into".  I laughed and began walking the extra block when I see this good-looking man out of the corner of my eye. I didn't even look I thought, "If a good-looking man wants to talk to me I'm sure he'll find a way".  Then I hear my named called and I just knew it was the good-looking man.  I turned around and couldn't comprehend whom it was.  I thought it was a relative at first (don't ask me why, none live within 3,000 miles).  Then it slowly dawned on me by the way he was grinning who it was.  It was "him". I was in total shock it's like my mind had gone blank.  

We had some awkward small talk and he just kept staring at me and fidgeting.  He wouldn't leave and then he said I looked good and I told him the same and still he wouldn't leave. He had friends waiting for him, too.  Then it got so awkward that I just asked if he wanted to get together sometime.  Also, I didn't want to have any regrets.  He said, "Yeah, definitely.  Call me sooner rather than later".  So I called within 2 days and haven't heard back from him yet.  What the hell?!!!  

So I'm thinking, "well at least I know now that he's an butt and obviously is nothing to me!"  2 days after I called him I asked to know who or what he is to me and I had an AP the next morning where I was going to do one thing then the next thing I know this other part of me takes over (I'm still very conscious) and I'm going to my "twin" to merge with him before the time is up (whatever the hell that means).  I actually made it to the twin's house and his mother asked his father, "what is she doing here?"  The father said, "She's come for him again." I ignored them and started crawling up this hill with water pouring down it. I was so determined and I knew I had to be.  I decided to just will myself in the room with him and I did.  I was so surprised that I did and guess who my twin was?  Yes, him!  And we got together and looked into each other's eyes and we were both saying, "I am you and you are me" over and over and then I lost consciousness and fell into a dream and woke up after that.

I had another AP just yesterday morning.  I had a false awakening and then realized it and went outside and began calling him demanding that he come and explain to me what was going on between us.  I was surprised at my level of confidence.  A part of me was like, "can you call on a living person?"

A girl showed up and was bugging me.  Then she tried to get me to fight her.  I knew there was no way to ignore her, so it suddenly occurred to me to love her.  I told her, "I love you" and she said, "what?"  I mustered up the feeling of love and sent it to her saying, "I love you" and she looked at me weird and left.  I was happy and surprised that I was still conscious.  I called to him again and this time, he actually showed up.  I've been calling him and trying to get to him for a year in the AP.  This time he showed up right away, in a limo with a driver. We talked and he admitted that he was messed up emotionally and that I was the only one that he wanted to be with.  Then we walked away hand in hand and I woke up. His face did morph a couple of times, but then back to its real shape.  His voice remained consistent though. So, I don't know if it was him, the part of him that's in me, a lucid dream, or what.

I've tried so many things to get let him go and forget him in the past year.  I've tried rituals and prayer.  I'm really trying to be disciplined with my thoughts and emotions right now.  I was doing so well and then I had to go and manifest him back into my life, but only long enough to mess me up again! Ahhh!  What was I thinking?  I guess I was thinking or hoping that these experiences meant he is something special to me, but it appears as if I'm not to him...  so what's the point of all the experiences?

Can you call on living people in the astral? Am I just manifesting him in the astral to work things out psychologically? (it's not helping!) Is it that he just really resonates with a masculine aspect of my psyche? I plan on getting the answer next time I'm awake in the astral.  At least I can tell my will is getting stronger in the astral.  We'll see what happens.  I have no desire to give so much thought to someone who doesn't care about me. Yet, oddly enough, I feel as if I love him unconditionally.  I was hoping to have him back in my life at least as a friend even if we couldn't be lovers.  I want nothing but peace and happiness for him with or without me, but I want peace for me now.  Any tips besides traditional psychotherapy?  

Thanks

-violeteye

[abyss328]

It seems to me violeteye that there's a multitude of explanations for what you're going through. I personally haven't had enough experience with AP to tell you for definite whether it really was him or just a manifestation. I think there is a definite difference between the feel of 'thought projections' (people we manifest from our minds - 'copies' if you will) and the feel of actual people. But at times it can still be hard to tell the difference. The fact that he was in your dreams a lot though makes me consider more strongly the possibility that the two of you just have a strong connection and itself manifesting itself in your OBEs as well as your dreams. Naturally, this is just "my two cents"

However, I do know what it's like for people from the past to keep invading ones dreams. My ex-girlfriend made regular appearances in my dreams in the first few months after we broke up. We too had a very strong connection. I wasn't projecting at the time but I wouldn't have been surprised if there had been a bleed through into my astral experiences if had been leaving my body at that time...so regular was her presence in my dreams. I think the deeper the connection we have with someone, the more likely they are to make the odd chemo appearance - in dreams and even in OBEs, especially if you "call" on them. Even if it is a long time after they have left our lives.

One thing I don't ever bother doing is 'wishing' people back into my life. I figure that if they're meant to be in my life at any point, then they will be. After all, they made it in once, I'm sure fate/destiny or whatever will be able to place us together again if there is a dire need for it to happen. For all you know, the point of meeting him was just to trigger your Astral Experiences. Maybe this is an opportunity for you to learn how to just let certain things go and happen in their own time (if at all)...

Like I said, a multitude of explanations.

One of the few actual "beliefs" I hold is that everything happens for a reason - vague and kinda corny, I know. I'm not sure how much this helps. But it seems that your post was very much necessary, if not just to get the stuff off your chest.

It's been a few days now since your post, so I wonder how you're feeling about things now. I'll check back here periodically to see if you've posted - so even if I'm the only one that replies, you can know someone is lending an ear.  

[violeteye]

Thanks for the input abyss328.  I appreciate it.  I wished him back into my life to make peace with him, because I wasn't pleased with my behavior and the way I left things with him.  So, I at least know now that I left the door open for him and it is he who is chosing not to venture in.

I think for now, it looks as if "he" in the physical is resonating with a part of me. Somewhere within me there is conflict.  I am going to call him that's me next time (I've attempted to once since, but the darn alarm went off just as he arrived!) and converse with the him knowing that it's me...does it make sense? I'm going to ask him what he's teaching me.  I wonder how the conversation will go.

Funny that I'm reading Monroe's The Ultimate Journey, where he's discovered that everyone and everything he's met is actually himself...his I-There.  But then don't even get me started on if everything experienced outward is a reflection of what's going on inward...

Well, at least I know I'm the one helping myself out.  I just need to trust me a bit more!

Thanks again.

[AstralSailor]

Hi violeteye

I have read about this kind of thing before
but then it was a dream and a time line reoccurring sorta like this.
What i mainly want to say is don't stress about it and don't think to much about it. When you do it becomes hared for you mind to "let go" or ignore it. Keep up daily meditation and meet new people. I think is good that your asking him why.. (I really regret some times I did not)
And about calling someone from the Astral plane to manifest a phone call in the Astral... Well the closes thing i have heard about if that when beginning of human evolution was taking place you you at the time of the Neanderthal/cromaniong humans it is said there were great Astral Travelers and they could even effect physical stuff like stone carvings on the wall.. They where sometimes made by tribes to mark out a way from one place to an other.

Love, Light and laughter is the cure to disaster

[violeteye]

Okay, I decided to end the torture by calling him and asking him if he's had any strange experiences or anything of the like.  I was starting to believe it was all in my head and I was ready to accept that.   I really expected him to say, "umm...I don't know what you're talking about. You're a freak, bye!" Which is what I was kind of hoping for to put it to rest.  But, no...he said, "Well, yeah.  I've had crazy psychic experiences my whole life.  It runs in my family."  Then I asked if he specifically had out of body experiences and he said, "yeah, and lucid dreams all the time too.  Although, not lately because I'm only sleeping 5 hours a night".  

We talked for over an hour.  He wanted all of the details of my experiences.  I didn't tell him everything, although he was pressing, especially not what he told me the first time, I didn't think it would be right and it will either come to pass or not.   It was such a perfect and beautiful conversation.  There was no weirdness at all.  *sigh* I long for a friend with whom I can have regular conversations like that.

What are the odds that my first involuntary experience just happens to be with someone who's been having them his whole life?  I had no idea he had them.  Neither of us mentioned them and I didn't even believe in them at the time.  Also, he told me that it was a perfect time for me to be calling because he has just started to try and get back in "the stream", as he calls it.  He just started reading up on MANIFESTATION AND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.  Again, what are the odds?  That's the very thing I was studying that lead me to thinking about him again and it's my main focus of study right now. Funny thing, I did have a vision of him last year reading something and a voice said, "he's studying right behind you".  Heck, I guess the voice was right!  

I just had to share.  I don't know if we'll continue a friendship or even talk to each other again for that matter, but obviously there's some kind of freaky connection between us.  So much for closure, maybe leaving things wide open is a better option... I thought I'd feel more sane or something...Oh well.  This letting go and letting God thing is a challenge to say the least! AHHHH!

[AstralSailor]

Okay, I decided to end the torture by calling him and asking him if he's had any strange experiences or anything of the like.  I was starting to believe it was all in my head and I was ready to accept that.   I really expected him to say, "umm...I don't know what you're talking about. You're a freak, bye!" Which is what I was kind of hoping for to put it to rest.  But, no...he said, "Well, yeah.  I've had crazy psychic experiences my whole life.  It runs in my family."  Then I asked if he specifically had out of body experiences and he said, "yeah, and lucid dreams all the time too.  Although, not lately because I'm only sleeping 5 hours a night".  

We talked for over an hour.  He wanted all of the details of my experiences.  I didn't tell him everything, although he was pressing, especially not what he told me the first time, I didn't think it would be right and it will either come to pass or not.   It was such a perfect and beautiful conversation.  There was no weirdness at all.  *sigh* I long for a friend with whom I can have regular conversations like that.

What are the odds that my first involuntary experience just happens to be with someone who's been having them his whole life?  I had no idea he had them.  Neither of us mentioned them and I didn't even believe in them at the time.  Also, he told me that it was a perfect time for me to be calling because he has just started to try and get back in "the stream", as he calls it.  He just started reading up on MANIFESTATION AND THE LAW OF ATTRACTION.  Again, what are the odds?  That's the very thing I was studying that lead me to thinking about him again and it's my main focus of study right now. Funny thing, I did have a vision of him last year reading something and a voice said, "he's studying right behind you".  Heck, I guess the voice was right!  

I just had to share.  I don't know if we'll continue a friendship or even talk to each other again for that matter, but obviously there's some kind of freaky connection between us.  So much for closure, maybe leaving things wide open is a better option... I thought I'd feel more sane or something...Oh well.  This letting go and letting God thing is a challenge to say the least! AHHHH!

Yeah is sure is a challenge sometimes
I feel so happy that this happened I was really wondering when you would reply on this...
I really long for such a friend many times. You know one who is really interested in the same subject in the same town..
It is not strange i think that you too are somehow connected
That tend to happened when it is "true love" so-to-say..
Thur energy in-prints or thru soul connecting or whatever It is all love..
It is really interesting that it was such a clear conversation..
I wish i could have this kinds of OBEs my memories are all scattered these days..
Wish you luck on further exploration

L&L
//Erik

[violeteye]

Thanks for your comments Erik!

I wish i could have this kinds of OBEs my memories are all scattered these days..

It happens to me sometimes too.  Especially, if I'm stressed out or working too much.   You just have to keep it up and soon you'll have a break through.  Keeping a clear mind and focused persistence work for me.  

Thanks again and good luck to you too!