Emotional unstable friend

[OrionsDream]

Hi, I need some advice. I have one very emotional 'friend'. When i do something that out does what he did, such as energy stuff, he gets into this like 'attitude' that its a race and competition, an attitude that is not a good one to have. Also, when he gets mad he closes his mind so much that you cant even get common sense into his head.
I sort of sympathsize with him bc he has a tought family life, but still.

How does one deal with a person like this? This kid is into energy stuff, but is also so emotional it blocks his better reasoning.

Somebody from another forum started to teach me as a 'pupil' so to speak. My friend got extremely jealous and felt like he deserved it more. I tried to tell him i would teach him if he wanted, but he said it would hurt his pride....

He also goes through moments of depression online, when he realizes hes dropped out of school, is fat, and has no real face-to-face friends. When he reflects on this, he starts acting very weird and happy in a messed up way.

HOW DO YOU DEAL WITH THIS KINDA PERSON?!?!
please i need some advice. If i dont figure a way to help him, i think i will just stop talking to him bc there is truly no point with arguing to someone who is so closed minded.

[Souljah333]

you must be desperate since you've posted this all over the place.

i'm sure you'll get a lot of direct advice, but if i could for one moment get you to turn around and look at the situation from another point of view. several points of view actually. first you can't help your friend...and i think you already know this. second...what if this isn't really about him, but you instead?!? what lesson resides in this relationship for YOU? the obvious ones being that a) you would feel really good (about yourself) if you could change his function. b) you feel bad about yourself bcuz you can't help him, etc. lessons in sticking around even though someone else is bringing you down. and it goes round in a circle. you can't rescue your friend. you can rescue yourself. would be nice if there were no expectations involved. if you could accept him for who he is. if you could change the dynamics of the friendship. maybe you are challenging yourself in the wrong area? you could of course be enabling him to continue in this manner. where he would be feeding of your need to fix him, and you could be feeding off his weakness. seems you are genuinely concerned, but it's true that if you can't accept someone as they are...it would probably be best to move on.

also look at what might be an addiction on your part. you could be putting up with it only bcuz it's a challenge or quest of some sort, and not even really be concerned about the person at all. the fixing being more important then the individual.

just thoughts
333

[OrionsDream]

haha, well you and another member seem to have read my mind as well. I read your post, and though it seems arrogantly speaking, it is probably true. I truly do want to help him, but after reading what you said, a door opened in my mind, and i realized this isnt truly 100% for him.

It is a quest for me. I want him to realize really how low he has gotten. I want to see him punished for letting himself reach such a low level, when he has been offered so much. It seems he is always running around the fact that he has destroyed his own life, and it makes me furious of the ignorance! I really hate his state of being (not him). I want him to see what he has done, and i want him to finally admit that he has done wrong to himself, and attempt to change it.

Not many ppl would make a reply like that, being scared to offend the writer, but i am oh so happy you did. I think i will just remain in a stretched relationship with this guy, start breaking apart making this pointless relationship detiorate.

Addiction does describe this. I am really almost addicted to this seemingly pointless challenge.

Keep in mind, I do care for him as well, but like you said its not all about him in my mind. Now that i have discovered that fully i will work on it.

Thank you so much. You and kazaban

P.S>
"where he would be feeding of your need to fix him, and you could be feeding off his weakness. "

Could you elaborate on that ? I'm not sure i overstand what you are saying, but i think i get the idea.

[Souljah333]

you're honesty is very rare & noble. admitting that as you know is only half the battle, but i love you for being open-minded...wonderful show of strength & humility (although also a little arrogant)
we are all a bit twisted when it comes to these situations. and distance is good. not rushing one way or the other. a subtle move and then waiting to see what happens next before you move again. this chess strategy stuff that we are conditioned into is great in some areas, but sucks for relationships. always trying to be six moves ahead of the other. it is the function of enemies, not friends.
it will be difficult i know to break away, but a new quest has begun.

you have already looked at your behavior and admitted many difficult things,  the other difficult part is in accepting him as i said. whether you remain friends or not...it's important to put yourself in his shoes (another aspect of the quest)...when he is ready he will find his way. there is time. space may be what he needs to reflect on himself. it sounds like he is transferring his frustration with himself onto you. it seems like you are trying to refuse him this move, but as long as you're together a certain exchange is already established, and very hard to change w/out some distance. he might find someone else to transfer onto, or he might go through an even lower period while working some things out, but they are his lessons, and they're no easier or no more difficult than anyone else's. it's all relative. you might find yourself in a similar situation in the future. you can't say. how would you want someone to treat you at that point?
compassionately, respectfully, but not enabling you to miss your lessons.

it's all once big circle. follow it thoughtfully.
best of luck
333

[OrionsDream]

Yeah, but now as i look on this more, i'm more angry at him then sorry for him.
LOOK WHAT HES DONE WITH HIS LIFE!!! Hes on marijuana, goes to 'internet' high school, and sits around his mom's house all day watching movies.

He has been given a gift!! He was introduced to this spiritual stuff for a reason, and that reason was not to flout it away getting mad at those who do practice more than 2 min. a day.

I am truly very furious at him. To see another human being deteriorate his own life... just sparks me.

I hope he does work things out, but he continues to impress upon me that 'thers plenty of time, i'm just taking a vacation' and other excuses.
There is certaintly not plenty of time. He seems to believe that just because he knows a little about all the energy/spiritual information, that its no sweat, and that he'll 'transition'....

[Souljah333]

if you can afford the time sit down and write it out on paper. sometimes it's easier to get your point across when you're only working in one direction. no retaliation. though it also leaves lot of room for misinterpretation, although that seems to be happening anyway. so if i were you. i write. get it off your chest at least.

333
there are millions of people wasting their time by choice. you can't save them and you can't convince them that time is of the essence. you need to focus on yourself.

[OrionsDream]

Haha well that does seem selfish, but it does make oh too much sense. I've decided to stop talking to him for a while, probably forever, and when he IM's me, give him one final comment of what i think of him, and that'll be it. That final comment however, is something i must think upon. I want him to get the message i feel, and i dont want him to leave being really mad at me. I will probably do this today.
I've spent way to much of my time worrying about him, he attacks my thoughts too much, and now i'm gonna just let it all go. He may think what he wants, i dont care anymore.
If you have any suggestions bout final comment, post soon bc i'm gonna do this next time he gets online.
Thanks

[Souljah333]

have you ever considered the fact that he might be under attack/possession.
seems like a ridiculous excuse for just being lazy or down & out, but anything  out of the ordinary that might suggest this?

i have no idea what you should say to him. just handle it WELL. be noble even if you are ticked off.

[OrionsDream]

Hehe, yeah does sound ridiculous, but i suppose you never know. But i think i'll assume hes not.

He is however freaked out by the illuminati. He used to be even more paranoid, carrying a knife, and worrying that they will come and rape him.

When he saw a UFO (maybe about a couple weeks ago) i made a stupid and careless mistake, if it was one. I told him that illuminati sometimes go to the houses of those who see UFOs, even if it seems no1 saw you at the time.
This is true, but why i said that is still a mystery to me. I suppose i wanted to see just how freaked out he was. And when i  told him this, he was freaked out, very very much.
So i think it would be the best for both of us if i cancled communication with this guy.

The weird thing about this parania, is that it freaks him out at first, but the next day he is the most arrogant person in the world! He thinks he would be able to beat the illuminati if they came to his house. I told him he could not fight and win against numerous armed men in black suits.
He seems to think that his 'will' will give him such an immense advantage over everything. When he asked me about 'freshman day' at my school, i replied we were lucky not to be beat up by 3 juniors. He replied that he would beat up 3 juniors by putting hot sauce in the eyes of one, and kicking the other 2 in the croch. I tried explaining that they would not just sit there and let him do this, but he thinks that just because he has a stronger will, he is almost invincible in that way.

He did however do me a great favor, when i first met him. He showed me a forum, which eventually led me to this whole network, leading me to this one as well. He didn't kno what he was doing. I suppose he served his purpose, and tho it seems sort of mena to just thro him aside after he did that for me, i'm certaintly not helping him now.
Despite this favor, it will not make me forgive him for doing this to himself. But others have given me similiar advice. I have enough to handle: myself. No point in trying to improve others
I will be as noble as i can with this message, but i am certain once i say i dont want to talk to him longer and explain why, his mind will shut close so fast, and ignorance will block him from seeing my side of this,
oh well