Hullo, yins can call me haven

[Haven]

What's up guys, i'm haven, and i'm about 20, and i apologize if at some point i curse like a sailor.

To make a long story short I'm an artist, and its all i've ever done. I hit an all time record of FAIL and depression a few months ago, when i was kicked out of the only art school i ever wanted to go to (unfortunately i'm a stoner and i skipped one too many non-art courses smoking and chasing girls). it ultimately led to many stoned nights on stumbleapon which ended up, after an interesting series of random videos, leading to a paradigm shift. It made a lot of things in my life make sense as i found more and more information, realizing things like lucid dreaming and astral projection were real phenomenon with (surprisingly to me) copious amounts of documentation. the entire thing mindfucked me, and changed my entire game of life.

I have big things in store for myself now, and astral projection is one of the disciplines through which i plan to carry out my goals.

i've been studying as much as i can about it, and i've been doing energy work to try to balance myself for the exit beforehand, and i end up getting random twitches in my body that end up escalating to a full on body rush (i used to get a similar body rush when doing mushrooms [which was abnormal for the effect that i usually got] which is actually why i stopped taking them, aside from the revalation that AP was real, and not just in a few mastodon songs) when doing the energy work, using awareness to cycle the energy up from my feet and into my abdomen, and also in through my fingers along to my chest. it scared the living excrement out of me because i'd never expected to feel that while i was sober.

i've read that sensations like that are the cause of energy blockages being freed, but i think it's also contributing to my failure to successfully project. any suggestions?

[NoY]

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