Am I my higher/true self when I dream? (v.long post inc dream) Help requested.

[Athymari]

Just a thought I had recently..More then a thought, this is extremely important to me (thanks mum for the talk that brought up the idea) and maybe be an important clue to my spiritual self. So any help/ideas would be great.

My dreams are always vivid and have a definite path/line to them, like being awake they flow quite well. They seem like a soap on TV, each episode is a dream and they flow one into the next. Same world, same things, I remember things that happened from previous dreams, places etc. I know that the door doesnt work from a previous dream so I ignore the door and try to find another way in.. for example. Sometimes I do not remember trying the door, but I know i have and it doesnt work. Sometimes I know I have a task to do and hope that this time I finish it before I wake up.

I am the same person in my dreams. Abilities include controling elements (Airbender like - and no - this isnt from watching the film i have been doing this since before the cartoon ), I can listen to animals thoughts/feelings to communicate with then, feel like my engery is wrapped into every phyical object, I can feel the engerys from past actions and basically every time I am reborn I remember 100% all my previous lives as if i had simple fallen asleep and worken up rather then dying and being reborn either that or I simply never aged.

I seemed to have started from scratch this life/dreaming world. Each dream is practice, I am gradually getting better. I learn and can grow. From trying to fly (logic says I cant) - hovering with great trouble - to growing wings (birds can fly with wings!) and taking off. I can find a way to do things through trial and error.

Now recently the 'me' in dreams has been getting alot stronger. Before I would find myself in different eras/times , the further back I go the more I realise that I could do so much more. In the current time I would struggle, things wouldnt not always work even though I firmly knew they should. Animals would remain silent, no matter how I tried I would not be able to sense anything. I have virtually no connection to the earth element and tidal waves and tornados via Air spring up around me and come after me in my dreams I can not control then Rather like the engery escapes and tries to find its way back to me. Rather like having the power but not the knowledge. (I see these elements as the elements inside of me that I am made of and not something that I can control in the waking world.. if anyone was wondering :0)

Recently I had a dream where I was  strong again though it was current, in this life. Gone where the constant dangers of when I was younger (in dreams I am around 15-16yrs. I am actually 30yrs)), things I couldnt see but barely sense as wanting to harm me.It was constant survivial. In this dream I was grown up, powerful (powerful as in full of spiritual power) again and life was now able to continue. (I am suffering with a phobia. Initially I thought it was a danger in the physical but now I wonder)

I was riding in a car with my husband (i am single) my dog (real) was in the back seat with his and we were going to visit and old castle. Looking out the window I saw they were doing re-enactments etc. I remeber how green everything was, very vivid.

We arrived dressed up in the costumes (mine was long sky blue dress and my hair was light blonde down to my back straight/waved/briaded all mixed) and I was bemused at visiting this castle again.. I went through the tour remembering what it was like 'back in the day'. I actually found items on display that belonged to me originally. Gold hand jewellry that held a great deal of my spiritual power still. I tried them on and took them away with me (.. well they were mine!) Through the tour some dark parts of history were revealed that happened after I left.

I dragged the husband (who seemed to know about me) up to the place were I 'worked' when I was a healer/priestess/guardian (I served/only answered to one person this I always remember and feel in the awaking world. Not a physical being though thats all I know). Now there was a church built over it. People stood around, no one could get in. I could feel that I still had a connection with the power of the place so I said a word and the gates opened. Staff tried to stop me but I was 'in work mode' gone was the woman on a tour and here was a 'gaurdian' (who was more or less in retirement with the current state of the world) with a job to do. 'Guards!' i shouted. Centruies dead gaurdians rose up from the ground (poor guys were now skeletons). I continued walking up the stairs and shouted them to make sure no one came close and not to hurt anyone.

I opened a side door and peered around the corner, something red and black was in the room. I couldnt see it, but i could feel and sense it. A black/red physical nose appeared around a corner. I held my hand out without entering the building to the animal to smell my hand and hopefully recognise the new re-discovered rings on my fingers. The animal was a spirit that had been twisted over the years. It either was the 'place' or a representation of the spirit of the area that was trapped in the now church building.  I formulated a plan to save and free the animal and utterly cleanse the place of all the foul energies from actions taken over the centuries (that had come to light during the tour).

I must have woken up after that.

This is just one of many dreams lucid or not that I recall. In most I am trying to save people or protect them from things only I can see/sense. Most of the time I am just trying to save myself as I do not have the knowledge or power. They think I am the cause of the problems as I seem to know so much, though I know they are simply ignorant or fearful of what they dont understand. Through taunts,bullying, and even straight out, torture I continue to try help people.

I have ALWAYS felt that an extremely large part of me is missing and holding me back from my spiritual self/awareness. Several ideas came to me.

In my dreams is this were I am learning/practicing? Could there be nothing at all I can do in the physical?
Is this grown up person in my dreams the real me? I should be this person in the waking world?
Is this person my higher self who for some reason all the memories and knowledge were locked away in my subconcious?

Any ideas would be appreciated. Trippy I know but alot of things seem to fall into place with this theory!

[Pauli2]

The people you are trying to save could be symbolism for neglected (?) or lost Aspects of yourself.

[NoY]

That was a nice read Athymari thanks for sharing. it sounds like you are continuously making good use of your dream time. that's cool  I wonder where it will all lead you


:NoY: