Art of Seduction: approaching women

[Nay]

At first I thought this was a joke []  But you're serious aren't you?

Why can't I guy just be himself, instead of acting like something he isn't?  Eventually his true self is going to come through, especially when he gets tired of playing a role..[] and then what will he be left with?  a ticked off girl that's what! []

Nay [^]

[Akensai]

I really want to hear an opinion of a woman about this, this should be interesting. []

[EDIT: Ah nay already posted, so I was not wrong in thinking this was ridiculous advice? I thought so, but a man should never presume he knows the ladies, so you never know it could have been true []]

[Kerrblur]

I'm a [] kinda guy, and if a woman dont like it, they can kiss this [?].   I know What I like, lol and most of my friends and I have lots, and the girl end, well, a good girl-friend of mine told me, I have the looks, but when I talk, I'm down graded to the girls-status of 'Good guy friend'.  I dont really try, but if a girl likes me for who I am then they will.  I aint going to be cocky funny, i like the [] funny lol.  Noone can change it.  If I tried, I'd just be showing a front, and be Fake.

[Kerrblur]

haha You, me, and Nay all posted within 3 minutes of eachother hah

[Kazbadan]

ahaha, it seems that all the conversations about sex and love atract people: 3 posts in less than 3 minutes.

Nay: I dont expect to a men act in a different way, but at least a wussy guy would have more chances to get a woman by acting in a different way.

Besides that, acting funny and self confident it is more like a life style, and for better. The rest it is just seduction.

Do i believe in that? well....at least i used the technique and it works better than giving flowers. If i act like a wussy (and many times i did that) i just receive a laugh in my face: "You?! In love with me?!...Aahaha". Now, if i act (and you must do it well) i a cock(what the hell means cocky? i dont find it in the dictionary but this is the word used by the author) funy style i can guarantee that i have much more sucess. Besides that i will not stop from being myself as Nay say because my objective in such seductions it is to "play", "date" or have a "nice" night with the girl (and she knows that).

BTW: i am not serious Nay and i am not joking too, i just like to crate confusion and make people discuss about sensible ideas. Just look to my posts about obes and proofs....do i believe in obes or not? What about this (seduction)? Well...i believe in nothing but i have my mind opened and prepared to believe in everything.

PS: Nay: Do you wanna date with me[]? lol, just kiding!

[Vicky]

Ok, here is my answer I think this is very true that women prefer very confident men. I myself got married for a one [:I] who used to captivate all of my friends hearts. He in my opinion is perfect - self confident. He doesn't say (usually) Where do you want to go? but says: I will take you somewhere. insetad. So, yes, the too romantic men are a bit boring  and irritating. But that doesn't mean a guy should not be romantic. He just has to know the limit. My brother used to have a girlfrined who he would do everything for and she took him for granted and felt maybe even too good about herslef. So she broke up with him and then he started ignoring her and really not caring about her anymore and then she "realised" how much she loved him[?] She started chasing him literally. The more he would ignore her the more she would be after him offering him to go out bliah bliah. So, that was my opinion [:I] I do think that a man has to be good in first place, respectful and confident

[Jenadots]

I have always preferred the "alpha male", but not in a brutish or nasty style.  

There is nothing wrong with being romantic with a woman.  Just simply say: "I have planned a romantic evening for us"  and give her a clue as to what to wear.  

I would also recommend some manners -- since common courtesy is so rare these days.  A bit of the grand gesture once in a while with a dash of love is great.

Mostly, just be who and what you are.  And consider the kind of woman you are seeking to attract and why.  

If you want a woman of substance and character, you have to become a man of substance and character.  If you only want a night of playing bumpy-bumpy, then shallow doesn't matter much.  

Sounds like you read a book telling you to be an S.O.B. to get women.  Yes, it will get some, but they may not be the kind of women you really want in your life for any length of time.

[SmileySpirit14]

dont tell guys that!!! then theyll get sooo cocky and braggy!!! i cant stand braggy ppl! i like ppl who just wanna have fun. like getting drunk and partying or a skate party...but most ppl there get high instead of drunk...but it dont matter cuz its FUN
oh i got a little off the topic didnt i? well i hate braggy people!

[James S]

To act according to some kind of "success with women" formula, or act like someone you are not may land you a one night stand or a short superficial romance. If that's what you want, fine. Go for it.

If you want a relationship with more substance, if you want to find a true partner and not just a bit of fun, do not try being anything other than yourself, otherwise you will fail.

It really need not be complicated at all.

[]
James.

[atalanta]

If you look at the idea of evolution, then it suggests that the female of each species will look for a mate that will provide the greatest possibility of healthy/successful offspring.

It may be therefore that some women may misinterpret a males behaviour which is egotistical and arrogant as being strong and confident.  In other words, she thinks she is getting a successful mate when in actual fact the guy may be a loser dressed up to look as a winner.  It may not be politically correct but women are stupid that way.

We are however, no longer living in the woods and in loin clothes.  Now there are other indicators to women that speak success.  For example, a guy may not be the best looking or confident but he has a heart of gold and a wallet to match.  This means even if they don't produce the best offspring there is money to provide for the plastic surgeons, safety and comfort in the future.  Its not they are gold diggers, just that these women look at the idea of what means a successful male/mate in different terms.

I know from my behaviour, I prefer the second version.  I would rather marry a geek who is kind, intelligent and has a good career path, than a guy who is handsome, 'in control', alpha males, mucho, whatever you call them.  In my perception, a guy is in control is also likely to turn around and become a threat to me by trying to control me.  So for me, there is nothing that turns me on faster than someone who is open, gentle, kind, humanitarian, compassionate, etc.  

I guess in the end you have to be yourself though because no matter how much you can doop a woman, eventually she will find you out.

[Kazbadan]

I dont speak on being completly arrogant (neither the author of the mails) but on being like a player: funny and always showing to the women that you play the art of seduction. Honestly i cannot believe that womens like romantic guys. ALL the girls that i met until know only like guys that have at least one of this qualities: money, social position, nice body (at least not a thin guy like me) or beautiful face, self confident. They see romantic guys as being stupids.

Well, i am not romantic but no girl will look at me because i dont look like Bradd Pitt or Tom Cruise. So, what can i do? Act like a wussy? I mean "Oh, i love you, blabla, etc"; or act in a more funny-cocky style? A style that includes acting with respect to womens and being courteous, but not by kissing womens feet.

Womens say that they prefer womantic guys but you can see in their look, when thy are in front of a Bradd Pitt kind men that they change their attitude. Honestly, i think that body it is the master choice (it surpass the funny style). Of course that womens will argue "No, no i like funny guys", and i answer : "ahaha, do you believe in Santa Claus too?".

When younger i was always  the ugly guy, and only the nice-looked friends were the "winners". Why: they were beautiful and as a result they were some how arrogant. The strange point is that womens liked that kind of arrogance. I was younger and coouldnt understand how the hell womens would look only to beautiful but arrogant mens. I was shocked but now i understand thatit is part of nature.

I will not be critical to such attitude/choice, the only thng that i criticize is the fact that womens wont admit that: they prefer alpha mans, the ones in control, beautifuland somehow a little bit arrogant. My observations confirm that, so if i wish to have sucees, i just must act like that. When i apply that idea i can guarantee you that it works: with shiny womens and even with fatal womens (you can bet it- it worked).

Shiny guys will never have sucess (i never had while being shiny).
They must change their attitude.

[The AlphaOmega]

My girlfriend tells me that the one the qualities that attracted her to me are my sense of humor and my confidence.  My mother also says that's what attracted her to my father.  Bottome line, if you have these two things, you can get women.  Being cocky to me tends to look like you're totally serious.  Always careful when you smile as to not look uncool, etc.  If you can make girls laugh, it's going to build confidence within yourself, and that too will attract them.  They go hand in hand.

[Ramiel]

There is truth to some of the original post. But instead of pretending you have a certain quality, develop it yourself, its much more powerful then. Case in point: confidence.

Girls crave confidence. A man who is confident is in control, and knows what he's doing. I've found the better looking the girl, the more she enjoys the chasing aspect. One girl I know wont even consider a guy unless he completely ignores her. Why? Because then she knows its game on!

During the 'courting' phase, before you actually go out with her, there's no problem in playing this game. I play it at the basic level, but it infuriates me that I have to wait so long before going after a girl I'm interested in, so I always mess it up on purpose and just let things fall into place themself.

After you're going out with her there is obviously no problem in showing your romantic side. In fact there is no reason why you shouldn't show it straight away. Confidence and Romance go hand in hand, not against one another.

If you want to impress a girl, become well read, knowledgable, and interesting. Pick up your level of fitness, eat well, and if you're not very fashion-minded, become fashion-minded! Oh and cologne is great too.

Those are my tips.

[ThE_MaStEr_Of_PuPpEtS]

Just be youself because its much easier than trying to be someone your not. If a woman likes you for who you are than thats good. If a woman dosent like you for who you are, dont try to be the kind of person she wants, just continue beign yourself. Personally I dont care about what people think about me, because everyone has thier own opinon about another person. (its impossible not to have a opinion about someone, unless you've never seen or heard of them)

So just be yourself (maybe add a little bit to your personality, and do something different that will surprise them) and see which women like you for who you are. Also be truthful no matter what because it might get you into a difficult situation and never make up stuff like: we had sex (meanwhile you didn't) or some childish stuff like that.

Be Yourself!

[atalanta]

Here is the problem for you.  Yes you could go and do all those things, make yourself look and sound like an alpha male but for how long are you willing to do that.  Its like holding in your stomach as a beautiful girl goes by.  You can hold it in for a while but eventually you will have to breath and she will see what you really are like.

So you have two choices.  Settle on who you are and stop looking for girls who are looking for alpha males if you are not one.  Find someone who is on your level and isn't looking for something different.  Secondly, become an alpha male but become one completely.  Study on what an alpha male looks and sounds like and fashion yourself after them, but do it thoroughly, don't pretend to be one.

I want you to know this is not just a male problem.  I think this is a bigger problem for females.  I am an intelligent, educated, attractive person, from a good family, who would make some guy a great life partner but I get looked over for the thin girls time and again.  I know that I am not the only female in that situation.  There is even support groups for women who go through these issues.  I always wanted to lose weight so I could be more attractive to the opposite sex and then I realised that I would never succeed at that because I wasn't doing it for me.  Now I am doing it for me and my health.

I guess what I am saying is that this is not a male or female issue and faking being someone else will only fail in the end, because in the end, the person who you will grow old with and who you have to face every morning in the mirror, is yourself.  Be true to yourself and like yourself and the person you attract will also be true to you.

[Ybom]

What some people don't know here is that much of this thread is insanely biased towards alpha maleness. What you all need to be wary of though is the title: The Art of Seduction.

I am not willing to go down the alpha male route, simply because with being an alpha male there is always the problem of pain. I've never seen an alpha male not get hurt or hurt himself on some level, but many think it is worth it to satisfy the basic human inside all of us.

I say to all of those people out there who think like that: I feel sorry for how misguided you've been. Are there any alpha males (or females) out there who want to come to the other field where the grass is sort of greener?

[Gwathren]

ahah, nice topic there. I think being arrogant is not good. Being a slave is just as bad as being the god to a woman. I think the "golden way" where there is enough of everything, but too nothing too much would be the best.

Gwathren

[MJ-12]

Good point. Being an alpha male means you have to put up with alpha females! []

[rhinegirl]

quote:Originally posted by MJ-12

Good point. Being an alpha male means you have to put up with alpha females! []

I'm an alpha female but I don't like alpha males because most are arrogant to a fault and often are insecure children when all is said and done. I like a small men who is confident and knows how to submit.

Jessica

[Kazbadan]

In the art of seduction you are not different from yourself.
For example: budhists teachs that you must develop your patient, your awareness, attention (focus on breathing, etc), learn to "hold" your apetites, learn to love and develop goodness, compassion, etc, with the main purpose to reach the illumination.

It seems that your transforming yourself in other person. Maybe you are but you are making that for something good. And if you are a truly bodhisatva, you are doing such not only for you (to cease with your self suffering) but equally for the others (the same: stop suffering).

Well, when developing your qualities to seduct a woman, your making yourself a little better. You must do it not only for that night/dating day (unless you just want sex, etc) but also for yourself and your partner.

Just look: in order to become a better seductive person, you must to start by looking into your body: nice hair, clean shaved face, a little parfum, adopting a good diet, fitness, etc. In the end you have just adquired something good for you: a better looking that it is good in many situations (employment, etc), not only for seduction.

Part two: mental development: now that you have a reasonable look, you will need to impress you partner when speaking with her. What do you need for such? Many things, lets see some:
- being funny
- self confident
- cult and inteligent
- sympathique and gentleman but never in a "Oh, dear i am crazy for you"
- etc

This qualities, if developed with the intention of seducting womens, will also be useful in other life aspects. Maybe you are acting a little different from yourself, but you are becoming better.

I must say too, that acting cocky-funny-alpha man, it not being a gorilla but a man that knows the game of seductio, someone that knows how to make womens getting crazy for you. Well, in this specific part your are not acting different from you: you are just being yourself but in a specific situation (and everyboy acts in different ways for different needs)- seduction.

To make her get crazy there are many little tips that in conjuction and if well used, certainly will work (alpha women, shiny women, etc): the art of ignoring(this includes atcing like if you didnt have special interest in her); never say yes; always be funny; physical comunication: eyes contact, position in the "field", occasional touch, etc; there are many more tips...but i am not the expert!

Nay, rhinegirl,atalanta, jenadots, vicky, etc: does anyone want to date with me? It is just that i want to test this techniques...[]

[MJ-12]

as

[Nagual]

Hum...  why do we have to seduce?
It sounds like hunting for food or trying to sell oneself...
Hey, that's maybe why I am still single!  []

[Syke]

Nagual, I agree whole-heartedly.

I'm sorry to say but I just find this whole thread kinda silly. Changing yourself because you feel some need to be with another person.
But it's not just that, you seem to need to be with someone better then yourself... it sounds like you have self esteem issues.

First better yourself for YOURSELF. You don't have to be in a relationship to be happy, especially one that you have to change yourself for.

And I'm not liking the way the hopeless romantic guys are being dissed here. At least they're being themselves and not changing themselves just so a woman will like them. Who's the real 'wuss', the guy who is being himself and wanting his partner to be happy, or the guy that completely changes himself in the hope that someone will then like him?

I'm not saying I know everything about dating...  being only 17 I know I still have alot to learn. I just dont understand why people feel the need to be in meaningless relationships. I'm quite content on being single, and if there is someone I have a strong connection with then I'll start a relationship.

Do it for yourself, not for others.
-Syke

[Reality]

It is clear that you have read the teachings of David de Angelo. He's the man!

Dave teaches men the skills that allow them to get dates WITH THE WOMEN THEY WANT.

And yes Cocky/Funny is one of his main concepts, and it is not ARROGANT. It's saying something cocky/slightly arrogant in a funny way. It's an art of communication that indeed causes women to feel attracted to a particular guy. It's kind of comparable of how you would tease your friends, and that's very fascinating to women...

I could write for hours about this subject..but you better check it out yourself...just look it up in google or something.

later!

[Reality]

And it has nothing to do with 'not being yourself'.

It's giving yourself the tools to get the women you want. Like you would install software on a computer. In other words: evolving!