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I'VE GOT A HUGE IDEA!!

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Ben K

il stay for awhile...i always enjoy reading the old posts by frank and co. ;)
EXPERIENCE IS KNOWLEDGE

baodur

Well I would stay longer but I don't have cable Internet on this computer but I'll check from time to time :wink:

Covelo

I'm on today too!!!  :wave:  Whoever reads this today should post here and see how many responses we can get... :bump:

PS-13 on right now...
--Positive Energy--

Nay

Woot!  I'm back again.... I'm getting tagged teamed in PSD..come check it out. :grin:

Heather B.

I'm here too!  Boy did I sleep late today... :sleepy:  Oh well, guess that is what Saturdays are for! :mrgreen:
|*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*|
:sunny:  Heather B.
(formerly known as Almost Mrs. Murphy)

Sky, far away sky
A murmured voice:
"Your dreams now turn
the wheel of the stars."

--Arai Akino, "Tsuki no Ie"

Selski

Quote from: NayWoot!  I'm back again.... I'm getting tagged teamed in PSD..come check it out. :grin:

:wave: I'm here for a while.

PSD - dunno how you can stand all that Nay.  You must have rhinoceros skin  :shock:

:lol:

Sarah
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Nay

As long as you're not calling me a rhino, I'm good!  :lol:

It used to get to me when it got personal and down right hateful but now..no, it really doesn't hurt me anymore, because I know better.....

I'll be online off and on... I'm making Pizza for the kids. :grin:

baodur

Nice signature
QuoteIt is better to be hated for who you are, than to be loved for someone you are not.
Cool man :cool: I just noticed it  :lol:

Nay

Hey, thanks!  I like it too. :grin:

Heather B.

Quote from: NayWoot!  I'm back again.... I'm getting tagged teamed in PSD..come check it out. :grin:

OK Nay, I just visited PSD for the first time ever, and all I can say is  :WTF:

That thread is just like a horrific wreck... I hate reading it, and yet... I just... can't... stop!  :lol:
|*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*|
:sunny:  Heather B.
(formerly known as Almost Mrs. Murphy)

Sky, far away sky
A murmured voice:
"Your dreams now turn
the wheel of the stars."

--Arai Akino, "Tsuki no Ie"

Nay

LOL!  Yeah, I know the feeling! :lol:

Nay

Ok, I thought a bit of humor would be in order.

I was looking through some Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy...love'em!

If I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

Once while walking through the mall a guy came up to me and said "Hey, hows it going?". So I grabbed his arm and twisted it up behind his head and said "Now whose asking the questions?"

When I die, I would like to go peacefully, in my sleep, like my Grandfather did. Not screaming and yelling like the passenger in his car.

One thing vampire children are taught is, never run with a wooden stake.

if you want to be the most popular person in your class, whenever the professor pauses in his lecture, just let out a big snort and say "How do you figger that!" real loud. Then lean back and sort of smirk.

I love to go to the schoolyard and watch the children jump and scream, but they don't know I'm using blanks.

That's a few...does anyone else have some funny tidbits?

Selski

Quote from: NayIf I could be a bird, I'd be a Flying Purple People Eater because then people would sing about me and I could fly down and eat them because I hate that song.

That had me laughing out loud.  That's very my sense of humour.

A biblical one (and inoffensive):

How do we know that Moses wore a wig?
Because sometimes he was seen with Aaron, and sometimes without.  

:smile:

A horse walks into a bar.  The barman says, "What's with the long face?"

:grin:

A man walks into a bar with a piece of tarmac under his arm.  The barman says, "what'll you have?".  The man responds, "A pint of beer, and one for the road."

:lol:

What do you call a man with a car on his head?
Jack

What do you call a woman with tiles on her head?
Ruth.

Oh dear...
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Nay

Here are some more. :grin:

1.I think my new thing will be to try to be a real happy guy. I'll just walk around being real happy until some jerk says something stupid to me.

2."Of all the imaginary friends I've had, I don't think there was one that I didn't end up having to kill."

3.If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, forget em', cause, man, they're gone.

4.When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different.

5.Probably the saddest thing you'll ever see is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Forget it, little friend.

6.Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

7.If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

8.Laurie got offended that I used the word "puke." But to me, that's what her dinner tasted like.

9.When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or pie heaven, choose pie heaven. It might be a trick, but if it's not, mmmmmmm, boy.

Nay

Hahaha!  Sarah!   and one for the road :lol:

Selski

Quote from: Nay4.When Gary told me he had found Jesus, I thought, Yahoo! We're rich! But it turned out to be something different.

:applause:

Quote from: Nay6.
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front of a beautiful sunset? And he's carrying a beautiful rose in his beak, and also he's carrying a very beautiful painting with his feet. And also, you're drunk.

:laughing4:

Quote from: Nay7.If a kid asks where rain comes from, I think a cute thing to tell him is "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, another cute thing to tell him is "Probably because of something you did."

:locolaugh:

Great!!!
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Nay

Ya gotta love Jack Handy!! :grin:  

I guess it's a safe bet to say you and I have similar humor!

Heather B.

Thanks for the laughs, ladies!

:rotfl:

I'd nearly forgotten how awesome "Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy" is!  

Hm, I'll have to think of some jokes...
|*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*|
:sunny:  Heather B.
(formerly known as Almost Mrs. Murphy)

Sky, far away sky
A murmured voice:
"Your dreams now turn
the wheel of the stars."

--Arai Akino, "Tsuki no Ie"

Nay

I can't stop!

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

Whether they find a life there or not, I think Jupiter should be called an enemy planet.

Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, we should be thinking about getting more use out of the ones we already have.

I think a good gift for the President would be a chocolate revolver. and since he is so busy, you'd probably have to run up to him real quick and give it to him.

Just because swans mate for life, I don't think its that big a deal. First of all, if you're a swan, you're probably not going to find a swan that looks much better than the one you've got, so why not mate for life?

Sometimes I think I'd be better off dead. No, wait, not me, you.

If they ever come up with a swashbuckling school, I think one of the courses should be laughing, then jumping off something.

If I lived back in the wild west days, instead of carrying a six-gun in my holster, I'd carry a soldering iron. That way, if some smart-aleck cowboy said something like "Hey, look. He's carrying a soldering iron!" and started laughing, and everybody else started laughing, I could just say, "That's right, it's a soldering iron. The soldering iron of justice." Then everybody would get real quiet and ashamed, because they had made fun of the soldering iron of justice, and I could probably hit them up for a free drink.

I bet when the Neanderthal kids would make a snowman, someone would always end up saying, "Don't forget the thick, heavy brows." Then they would all get embarrassed because they remembered they had the big hunky brows too, and they'd get mad and eat the snowman.

I don't think I'm alone when I say I'd like to see more and more planets fall under the ruthless domination of our solar system.

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.

Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself: "Mankind". Basically, it's made up of two separate words - "mank" and "ind". What do these words mean ? It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind.

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash is they don't want anybody walking in and lying down in the crash stuff, then, when somebody comes up, act like they just woke up and go, "What was THAT?!"


The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

Ok, I'll stop with the Jack..  :grin:

Heather B.

I'm in a Groucho Marx mood:


Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others.

He may look like an idiot and talk like an idiot but don't let that fool you. He really is an idiot.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.

Ice Water? Get some Onions - that'll make your eyes water!

I must say that I find television very educational. The minute somebody turns it on, I go to the library and read a book.

I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it.

I don't care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.

Remember men, we're fighting for this woman's honour; which is probably more than she ever did.

Women should be obscene and not heard.

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.

Quote me as saying I was mis-quoted.
|*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*|
:sunny:  Heather B.
(formerly known as Almost Mrs. Murphy)

Sky, far away sky
A murmured voice:
"Your dreams now turn
the wheel of the stars."

--Arai Akino, "Tsuki no Ie"

Nay

QuoteFrom the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Someday I intend reading it.
:lol:

Thanks Heather!

Selski

Thanks for the laughs you two.  I leave you with some Oscar Wilde:


It is pure unadulterated country life. They get up early because they have so much to do and go to bed early because they have so little to think about.

It is absurd to say that there are neither ruins nor curiosities in America when they have their mothers and their manners.

The first duty in life is to be as artificial as possible. What the second duty is no one has yet discovered.

Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attractiveness of others.

Religions die when they are proved to be true. Science is the record of dead religions.

The well-bred contradict other people. The wise contradict themselves.

If one tells the truth, one is sure, sooner or later, to be found out.

Pleasure is the only thing one should live for. Nothing ages like happiness.

Only the shallow know themselves.

Time is a waste of money.

A truth ceases to be true when more than one person believes in it.

It is only the superficial qualities that last. Man's deeper nature is soon found out.

The old believe everything: the middle-aged suspect everything: the young know everything.

To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.


___________________________________________________

Goodnight and sleep tight...

Sarah
We all find nonsenses to believe in; it's part of being alive.

Nay

Thanks Sarah :grin:

Deep Thoughts: NOT By Jack Handy

FROM A NEWSPAPER CONTEST WHERE ENTRANTS AGE 4 TO 15 WERE ASKED TO IMITATE "DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY":

My young brother asked me what happens after we die. I told him we get buried under a bunch of dirt and worms eat our bodies. I guess I should have told him the truth--that most of us go to Hell and burn eternally--but I didn't want to upset him. Age 10

When I go to heaven, I want to see my grandpa again. But he better have lost the nose hair and the old-man smell. Age 5

I once heard the voice of God. It said "Vrrrrmmmmm." Unless it was just a lawn mower. Age 11

I don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. Age 13

I like to go down to the dog pound and pretend that I've found my dog. Then I tell them to kill it anyway because I already gave away all of his stuff. Dog people sure don't have a sense of humor. Age 14

I believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? Age 15

It sure would be nice if we got a day off for the president's birthday, like they do for the queen. Of course, then we would have a lot of people voting for a candidate born on July 3 or December 26, just for the long weekends. Age 8

As you make your way through this hectic world of ours, set aside a few minutes each day. At the end of the year, you'll have a couple of days saved up. Age 7

Democracy is a beautiful thing, except for that part about letting just any old yokel vote. Age 10

Home is where the house is. Age 6

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. Age 15

It would be terrible if the Red Cross Bloodmobile got into an accident. No, wait. That would be good because if anyone needed it, the blood would be right there. Age 5

Give me the strength to change the things I can, the grace to accept the things I cannot, and a great big bag of money. Age 13

I bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween. Age 13

For centuries, people thought the moon was made of green cheese. Then the astronauts found that the moon is really a big hard rock. That's what happens to cheese when you leave it out. Age 6

Think of the biggest number you can. Now add five. Then, imagine if you had that many Twinkies. Wow, that's five more than the biggest number you could come up with! Age 6

The only stupid question is the one that is never asked, except maybe "Don't you think it is about time you audited my return?" or "Isn't is morally wrong to give me a warning when, in fact, I was speeding?" Age 15

Once, I wept for I had no shoes. Then I came upon a man who had no feet. So I took his shoes. I mean, it's not like he really needed them, right? Age 15

I often wonder how come John Tesh isn't as popular a singer as some people think he should be. Then, I remember it's because he is a lousy singer. Age 15

If we could just get everyone to close their eyes and visualize world peace for an hour, imagine how serene and quiet it would be until the looting started. Age 15

I couldn't resist posting this!  These kids are funny and maybe a couple of parents too.. :wink:

Nay

Is Hell Exothermic or Endothermic?

A thermodynamics professor wrote a take-home exam for his graduate students. It had one question: Is Hell Exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)? Support your answer with a proof.

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools off when it expands and heats up when it is compressed) or some variant.

One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So, we need to know the rate that souls are moving into Hell and the rate they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more then one of these religions and since people do not belong to more then more then one religion, we can project that all people and all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
#1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate then the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.

#2) Of course, if Hell is expanding at a rate faster then the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Ms. Therese Banyan during my Freshman year, that "it'll be a cold night in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having sexual relations with her, then #2 cannot be true, and so Hell is exothermic.

The student got the only A.

Heather B.

:locolaugh:  Ah, those were great!

QuoteI don't know about you, but I enjoy watching paint dry. I imagine that the wet paint is a big freshwater lake that is the only source of water for some tiny cities by the lake. As the lake gets drier, the population gets more desperate, and sometimes there are water riots. Once there was a big fire and everyone died. Age 13

That's messed up--but I love it!   :evillaugh:

QuoteI believe you should live each day as if it is your last, which is why I don't have any clean laundry because, come on, who wants to wash clothes on the last day of their life? Age 15

That kid has the right idea--why didn't I think of this excuse?!  :rotfl:
|*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*@*~.,.~*|
:sunny:  Heather B.
(formerly known as Almost Mrs. Murphy)

Sky, far away sky
A murmured voice:
"Your dreams now turn
the wheel of the stars."

--Arai Akino, "Tsuki no Ie"