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Apologies and frustrations

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kakkarot

everybody needs a break sometimes. if you do take one, please do get some good rest and relaxation for you seem very stressed out.

and you aren't a complete failure spiritually if you can at least recognize what your failings are. many people can't even do that, and yet it's one of the very first steps to spiritual development.

and this is why taking breaks from other people is good: it allows you to work on remembering who you are and recreating yourself into who you want to be without other people distracting you.

good luck.

~kakkarot

jc84corvette

No problem at all.

Take a break from the forums if you need to. [:)]

Fat_Turkey

Thanks Kakkarot. I'll still hang around a little, especially for The Neverending Story post to see how it develops [:)]. I'm feelin a bit better after a good night's sleep now.

I'll probably only get my real big break when my school holidays start in a few weeks. There are just some people there I can't avoid, but I'll do my best.

Thanks again

~FT
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
-Anonymous

No amount of rigorous training, sitting and doing nothing, and clearing one's mind can help a man who hasn't overcome his doubts.

Blue Giant

Hey there Fat Turkey,
All those people who think you don't have self control is a distraction. How do they know that? From when they hang around you. Ha. The first move to self control is stepping out of yourself in order to see yourself objectively. That in itself is self control. Second, when you are having to deal with your emotions or mind is also self control because of the fact of your awareness towards it. Self control is not always results. It is the effort and time put into it. I would would think ironically that these people around you are the one's who don't have self control. For them giving judgement rather than encouragement shows. They are a test. When one tries to go through this themselves it doen't necessarily mean that it gets easier. Often times like these, instances will be paired with you in order to keep you the way you are. Keep up the good work.

Russel

MJ-12


Ybom

Well, at least you didn't become a loner like I have. I really really wish I could just go back home RIGHT NOW never to step foot back here ever again. I have accepted my peers as my peers and realize that they just don't get it, so I have to do this solo for another 2 years myself.

But why am I so happy? Fat Turkey, you're amazing and you just don't see it yet. If people in your life can't accept your current goals...fuggem! They're big roadblocks, and they need to be rolled over.

Oh! and because of my posting this I've thought up my signature now...thanks man, now I can concentrate harder because you realized something...
I come prepared...with COOKIES! No, you can't have one!

jc84corvette


Ybom

I'll make a deal with you, you can have a cookie if you make me say something I don't really mean!
I come prepared...with COOKIES! No, you can't have one!

Squeek

F_T, I'm the same way, even though I'm sure it's hard to find it [:I]

Somehow, this is the first place online where I've actually built up some form of respect with other people.  It truly is amazing, because anywhere else (including reality) I'm seen as a 12-year old who has a severe case of adhd.

Of course it bothers me that some of the kids here don't realize the stupidity of their actions.  Of course we have to go tell them why they are stupid, because you and I are just like that, even from the beginning.

In school, you wouldn't believe how much crap I have to put up with day in and day out, and I have to maintain my composure the whole freakin time because that's what I was taught to do.  I get heckled for the most retarded things in life...  I actually don't even want to delve into that.

Just know you aren't alone in your struggles to get over this.

~Squeek

Fat_Turkey

Oh hey everybody. Just need to clear up some things.

First off, apologies.

Sorry to the ki people for flaming them. Sorry for being a drunkard on the forums. I know some of you would rather I wasn't here at all, seeing as my retarded and contradictory statements just won't go away, and I don't seem to realise it at all. And I'm genuinely sorry for all the bad posts I've made.

Second, frustrations.

My life as a spiritual person seems more of a failure than anything else. I realise more and more that in my efforts to be a good person, I still remain the same contradictory twat I was when I started, and even before then. I usually don't care what other people think of me, unless they think I am something I'm not, and spread it around as the gospel truth. For example, everybody in my entire life believes I do not have any self control, and that I don't even make any efforts to try to get some. That pisses me off. Why? I don't know. All I know is that I am way more controlled than before, it's just that some people can't f***ing well leave me alone. With all the subtle stabs people take at me, like pretending to meditate with the hugest f***ing smirks on their faces right in front of my face, it's difficult to maintain one's temper. My spirituality IS close to me, after all, and perhaps the fact that I want people to percieve me as who I am, not something that is not me.

Anyways, I hope you can forgive me, because I probably won't be posting as much as I used to, and if I am then I've just failed at another thing - not being a total dips***. I'll keep training with astral projection sure, but what the hell.

It's just too damn hard to maintain a good level of integrity(sp?) and self esteem, hell, even spirituality, when the whole f***ing world sees you as a f***up. whoopdecrap.

Yeah, this really IS relavent isn't it? Go ahead and flame me, I freakin well deserve it.

Later
~FT
Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence.
-Anonymous

No amount of rigorous training, sitting and doing nothing, and clearing one's mind can help a man who hasn't overcome his doubts.