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Author Topic: Relationships Why they work - Why they fail?  (Read 5682 times)
Links Shadow
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« on: August 06, 2003, 12:46:10 »

I pretty much agree with that completely.  Here are some links with similar thoughts.  The specifically talk about individual chakras but they support what you are saying timeless.

This one is for the root chakra
http://www.spiritonline.com/files/messages/16/400.html?0

This one is for the solar plexus chakra
http://www.spiritonline.com/files/messages/16/398.html?0

This one is for the throat chakra
http://www.spiritonline.com/files/messages/16/396.html?0

This one is for the brow chakra
http://www.spiritonline.com/files/messages/16/395.html?0

Finally is the crown chakra
http://www.spiritonline.com/files/messages/16/394.html?0

But unfortuneately the other 2 chakra's pages really don't have similar discussions about what happens when energies mix.
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timeless
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« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2003, 13:23:21 »

Dear Links Shadow,

This is great information.  Thank you so much.  

It is interesting because occassionally I will see wisps of energy linking between the chakras between myself and my daughter.  I have never seen these between me and my husband, though I am sure they do.  

I love the I vs. you concept.  Learning to explain to someone your perspective instead of attacking them.   This I think it incredibly important when dealing with children.  Children need to understand perspective without feeling attacked...so they grow up with a strong, healthy self image.

Respectfully,
timeless

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« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2003, 13:23:21 »

logoVisit the website of Astral Pulse creator Adrian Cooper.

Home of the best selling book Our Ultimate Reality.

Astral Projection, Metaphysics and many other subjects.

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« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2003, 15:21:47 »

This post caught my eye, as I've been having a lot of problems with the opposite sex lately. It seems I attract people who are a bit "off." Usually these people have social problems that involve them not being perceptive to the needs of others (mostly spiritual, but sometimes emotional and mental- physical is usually not a problem for most people), or they are not able to see past the physical (they are not very spiritual), or they don't seem to want anything more for themselves than they already have (no major goals in life, no drive to do something great for themselves or others). My kung fu teacher tells me that I am deeper than most people so it's going to be naturally harder for me to find a compatable person. I am by no means perfect and I sometimes feel that maybe I'm demanding too much of the other person. My mother tells me that women don't want help from men. This is probably my problem, because I would want nothing more than to help my spouse if she came to me with a problem (I'm not married, by the way, I'm just saying if I had a spouse, I would).

Basically from reading this I get the idea that what Timeless is saying, in a nutshell, is that all the chakras must be balanced in just the right way in order to find/attract the right person. I am able to sense and read energies from people. The energy I pick up must be an indication as to which of their chakras is the strongest. Lately I have found that it has helped me avoid relationships that would likely end up being negative for either me or the other person or both of us. I tried OBEing last night but somehow I was "stuck" in my body, like Winnie the Pooh in the rabbit hole. Maybe my soul's too fat? It was like being a cork in a wine bottle. I hope to actually be able to see my aura and find out what my strongest chakra is. I'm guessing it's either my heart or my solar plexus. I can be very emotional. Maybe I'll just ask my kung fu teacher to read my aura.

Anyway, as far as finding the right person, I don't know how the Universe works (I think it's probably just chaos with order), but if the One for me is in another country, I'm pretty much screwed because I can't afford to move (at least right now). My senses tell me that I am heading in the right direction in life; I am generally happy and content, even if I am single. I'm not going to worry about it, I'm still young.

This is an interesting way of looking at relationships between people- what better way to look at it than the transferrence of energy back and forth between two people? One thing I would like to add is the aspect of male/female energy distinctions. Men and women think very differently. I have a lot of trouble understanding women and why and how they think. I believe it's possible for a man to understand a woman and vise versa, and I'd really like to understand them. Maybe more training in energy reading will help.

Do you think there are primary energies the way there are primary colors, and when they mix they make new kinds of energies? The chakras seem to represent these primary energies. Have you heard of the overtone series? Sounds sound the way they do because of it. The overtone series is simply a series of tones/pitches (basically sine waves) which, when combined in different proportions, make different sounds, much like the colors of paint mixed together by an artist. Do you think that similar things happen with energy?
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WalkerInTheWoods
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« Reply #3 on: August 06, 2003, 15:49:11 »

I hear ya, EnderWiggin. It seems there are few other people who actually look beyond the physical and actually want to better themselves. I dislike it when the other person does not want to try to better the relationship. I have learned that there is no such thing as standing still, there is constant change. If the couple is not working on the change, then the change will happen by itself which is usually in a way that they will not like.

I guess just buy yourself a dog, cat, etc (ferrets are fun). In the long run you will probably save money, have more fun, and feel more love and companionship.

Thank you for the info, timeless and Link. Very interesting. I have recently started studying the chakras more so this is very helpful.
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timeless
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« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2003, 16:20:14 »

Dear EnderWiggin,

I would not worry too much about finding the right person.  I dated an awful lot before finding my man.  It took me a long time to find him.  The thing is...he was having the same problem.  He refused to marry someone who was not right for him.  Energy work does help us avoid detrimental relationships. Of course no one is perfect.  What we have to do is know what we can live with and what we cannot.  I could never live with someone who loved to argue and bicker and had zero interest in moving past this stage.  I could live with someone who is blunt and to the point, as men often are.

I do not know the context behind your mother's words.  Many women hate when men condescendingly help the poor weak female.  This drives most women nuts...except the southern belles...maybe.  But I love how my husband helps me.  We are a team.  He enjoys pretending to be condescendingly helpful to see if he can get a little rise out of me, but never means anything by it.    

A lot of emotional, mental and spiritual growth occurs in the twenties.  I am glad I did not meet my husband until I was in my late twenties.  I would not have been ready for the relationship until then.  

I think Link's Shadow introduced a very profound concept in the links he provided.  The link on the Crown chakra was fascinating because I find a lot of telepathy has formed between my husband and I.  Those links mention some of what you are talking about how chakra energies mix.  

I think the best way for a man to understand women is to understand yourself.  Women are not so much of a mystery.  Insecurity in women is annoying (I dislike it in myself) but a secure woman is no more talkative then a man and no more needy than a man. I find many women do not work, in work environments, that develop the same confidence and tough mindedness.  Engineering sure did that for me.  Opps! Used up my time limit for the day.  Got to work on my book.  Wonderful to see you again EnderWiggin.[Cheesy]

Best Regards,
timeless
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« Reply #4 on: August 06, 2003, 16:20:14 »



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Links Shadow
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« Reply #5 on: August 06, 2003, 16:27:09 »

quote:
Originally posted by EnderWiggin

I don't know how the Universe works (I think it's probably just chaos with order


There is a video game for the Nintendo Gameboy Advance system called "Castlevania: Harmony of Dissonance".  I love the name of this game.  Harmony of Dissonance, the harmony in the lack of harmony.  There is so much in the universe that we don't understand and it appears as if it is just pure chaos, but when you look close you notice the natural beauty in it.  What we think of chaos could very well be a system of organization so far superior to what we are capable of understanding that we are completely befuddled by it.  Just something to ponder about.

Respectfully,
Link's Shadow
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« Reply #6 on: August 06, 2003, 17:23:19 »

I've had relationships with a few wacko women. After its over, I feel drained of energy. I've always thought they were with me to drain my energy. Like vampires, if you will, attaching to my spirituality and sucking hard.
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PeacefulWarrior
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« Reply #7 on: August 07, 2003, 07:15:46 »

I have only been married a year, so take my advice for whatever you think its worth, but in my opinion the single most important factor in what makes a relationsship work is HAVING THE SAME GOALS.  <---that's a big period, get it?[Smiley]
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Mustardseed
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« Reply #8 on: August 07, 2003, 08:28:21 »

I think that one should not get too involved in matching chakras , sunsigns, or anything else.!!! I believe that there must be a certain amount of DIFFERENCE for interest to develope. I am married to a woman for 7 years that I still do not understant ( I mean at all) she drives me nuts and at times I cant stand her nor she me, however the great mystery is that we still love each other and we seem to GROW . We are very different, she loves video games I think it is a timewaste, I love OBEs she thinks it is silly (even though she knows it is real) The exchange between partners and Chackras I might guess could also be between poles. Maybe her strength is my weakness and vice versa. Relationships are like so many things in life vehicles to take you places to learn things. I am a firm believer in going by INTUITION and not figuring things out in the mind/brain when it comes to the affairs of the heart. Like someone once said " just let go Luke...feel the force!!!"
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timeless
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« Reply #9 on: August 07, 2003, 14:19:14 »

Dear PeacefulWarrior,

I am very confident you will enjoy an excellent marriage Peaceful Warrior.  I am very impressed with how you seek to understand others -- even if they hold a very different opinion then your own.[Smiley]  You are an 'I' person who states their perspective as apposed to a 'you' accusational arguementative person, as discussed in the links Link's Shadow provided.

And you have good taste in movies.[Wink]  I cannot watch half the movies my husband picks.[Tongue]

Plus, I never take things too seriously. After all it was just a dream.  However, it was a fascinating one that had some fascinating concepts.  It was profound in that it got me thinking in a new way, which I enjoy since I am a writer...or would rather like to call myself a writer.[Smiley]

All the very best to you and your wife,
timeless  

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« Reply #10 on: August 07, 2003, 16:54:11 »

I feel very lucky to have my husband in my life...  When we met it was pretty much a instant "knowing" that we were meant to be together.  I have to say  that we are bestfriends with benifits!
In the eight years we have been together we have had only a handful of arguments and even then they were over as quickly as they started.  
I think one of the most important things needed in a relationship is  Communication!!  We can talk about any and everything!  well, except his eye's use to glazed over when I started talking about a OOBE's...oh, man that use to make me angry..lol.. here I was having these wonderful spiritual experiences that I wanted to share with my bestfriend and he would literally lean over and LOOK around me at the tv!!!   So, one day I sat him down and told him how I felt about this.  We got it worked out...compromised..  He heard me out and I heard him out.. now he listens...I mean really listens and I don't talk about it 24 - 7....hehehehe..

You know I have found that him and I are like a glove we fit well together....hard to explain.. It seems we are opposites, yet it works...
He's quiet, I am hyper.
He's patient, I am working on that..
He loves the spot light (he's a drummer) I hate being in the spotlight..
I am a aggresive woman...(live in the south....not a southern belle!..timeless...lol )  
He is unashamed and in touch with his sensitive side..and doesn't have that caveman attitude that a lot of men have.
You know the one...grunt, grunt..get my dinner woman!! get me a beer!!  
We talk about having several past -lives together and in the last one, I was the man and he was the woman..lol

I know we were meant to find each other again in this life time...funny thing..my first husband is a musician, tall, and his mother's name was Betty.
My current husband is a musician, very tall and his mother's name is Betty...
Did I accidently marry the wrong man the first time because I thought I had found the right soul?...
Do we leave "markers" if you will, in order for us to find the right path..?  

Nay. [Wink]
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« Reply #11 on: August 07, 2003, 17:46:56 »

The best way to find the one you are meant to be with is to simply be yourself. It's like Bruce Lee says- Don't conform to the ways of others. Don't live and think in patterns. When one is stuck in a pattern, they are not free. Be without form. Live by your nature, live in the moment, and don't worry about anything. Empty the mind and let it flow like water.

If a person focuses too much on trying to find the right person, it won't work. One of Bruce Lee's most famous quotes (from Enter the Dragon) is: "It is like a finger pointing to the moon... do not look at the finger or you will miss all that heavenly beauty." A good analogy for life. Don't pay too much attention to one specific thing or your life will go right by you without you noticing.

I am not worried about finding the right person. I already know it will happen, in this life or the next. Relationships with others are interesting. Being intimate with another person allows us to gain more knowledge about ourselves and the rest of the human race.

Can you imagine if the person you were meant to be with was from another planet? What an interesting concept. I've never met anyone from another planet (except maybe me [Cheesy]) but I think that there are others like us out there.

Once, while in bed, when I was in a trance state, I had a conversation with a horse-spirit (no, it was not Mr. Ed). It was kind of weird. I think she was called to my attention because she happened to be traveling through nearby coordinates and I happened to be moving around a lot. The moving around was a result of some discomfort I was feeling and then she was asking me what was wrong. The strange thing was that I could barely see anything. It was mostly black. I was not completely in my body (I wasn't deliberately trying to get out) but I was not completely out either. Basically she told me not to worry about something, but I can't remember exactly what it was. Oh well, I am not worried about anything. I am glad to be in no specific state of mind and I am glad to be healthy.
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PeacefulWarrior
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« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2003, 18:18:34 »

Gee timeless, thanks...that is one of the nicest things anyone has said to me in a long time.  Sarah and I are VERY happy.  I think everything you have said is true as well, but I think sometimes we match a lot of these things up without even knowing it.

I have studied my wife's aura, etc. and have noticed that although we are very different, it seems that our individual traits compliment each other very well...and, like I mentioned earlier, we really have the same fundemental goals both spiritually and temporally.
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We shall not cease from our exploration, and at the end of all our exploring, we shall arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
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WalkerInTheWoods
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« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2003, 18:44:36 »

quote:
I am not worried about finding the right person. I already know it will happen, in this life or the next.


What makes you think that any of us are meant to find a right person? Or that there even is a right person?
(I am just asking, I hope I do not come off sounding rude.)


 
quote:
but in my opinion the single most important factor in what makes a relationsship work is HAVING THE SAME GOALS.


I think this is very true.
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« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2003, 18:50:23 »

Here's the thing about love and relationships as I see it: The buddies, friends, lovers and life partners are a direct reflection of the degree to which we know those souls from previous incarnations.

We have but one life eternal manifested in incarnations innumerable. The more common incarnations and time spent in between we have with agiven soul the closer we are with them in the physical.
Only in some incarnations we may meet someone who'll be our soul twin and not be able to marry, live or even pysically meet said person.

Like Ender said, everyone will meet solmeone at many points in their life but perhaps that won't happen this time around.

2cents & L&L
jouni
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« Reply #15 on: August 07, 2003, 21:41:34 »

quote:
  Here's the thing about love and relationships as I see it: The buddies, friends, lovers and life partners are a direct reflection of the degree to which we know those souls from previous incarnations.

We have but one life eternal manifested in incarnations innumerable. The more common incarnations and time spent in between we have with agiven soul the closer we are with them in the physical.
I believe that is what I was trying to say..lol.. you just said it more clear..[Cheesy]

Nay. [Wink]
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jilola
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« Reply #16 on: August 07, 2003, 21:43:45 »

Thanks Nay [Cheesy] I was worried I'd yet again overcomplicated my sentences.
I just type. [xx(]

2cents & L&L
jouni
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« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2003, 04:00:48 »

Hi FallenAngel-

Thanks for specifying that you were just asking that question and not trying to be rude. If you did not type that, I would have thought you were being rude. Good intuition. It can sometimes be difficult to understand how the person meant what they posted. We don't have different tones for typing, (or at least ones that can distinguish between the same sentence said differently enough for us to pick up on it) so I think it was bright of you to type that.

Now, to answer your question, it's like my kung fu teacher explained how a person knows when their chakras are opened up: You just know, because you can feel it. You either feel it or you don't I guess. It's hard to say with this because maybe it requires a certain psychic skill for a person to sense this, and since I am not other people, I cannot speak for them.

For some reason that I cannot explain, I feel like there's someone  out there for me, but I don't know if they're alive or dead, what they look like, what kind of personality they have, etc. My ideal person would be a tall blonde woman who is really into art and all the occult stuff, and must be intelligent and spiritually evolved enough to question the norm at the same level I do. I hope she is not egotistical (as Timeless pointed out, this can ruin a marriage no problem, and it is also one of my pet peaves). I hope she is very understanding and also benevolent, but also a strong enough person to deal with hostile situations well enough on her own (I really don't like dating needy people). Of course she'd have my support and all, but I don't want to end up fighting her battles for her. After all, nobody does it for me and I wouldn't want them to.

Now I have to go- It's late. I hope I've answered your question, FallenAngel (Am I spelling your callsign right?). If I was unclear about something, just ask (and, of course, specify how you mean what you type, when you feel it is necessary... if you want [xx(]).
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timeless
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« Reply #18 on: August 06, 2003, 06:43:21 »

I am writing this after a very profound hour long dream.  I thought I would share my thoughts and hope you will to.

In marriage finding someone to bond with on all four levels equally (physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually) helps.  In friendships we can frequently get away with bonding with someone on only one of these levels, for physical think sports guys.[Wink]

Finding marriage material (someone to bond with on all four levels) is not easy.  Now imagine finding someone who matches on a chakra level.  For there are traits associated with each chakra that can strengthen or weaken a marriage.

Root Chakra:  Practicality, ability to make decisions and stick to them.  I have just seen one marriage break up because the two people did not trust each other.  They were not worried about the other cheating.  They just could never (either of them) make a decision and stick to it.  I really liked both of these people but found it impossible to make plans with them.  

Sacral Chakra: This is not just about sex.  More importantly it is about healthy self image. Security in self.  No one likes being married to some one who is insecure and needy.  The words 'old ball and chain marriage' come to mind.

Solar Plexus: Ego.  Best way to screw up a marriage.  Arguing over who is right and wrong.  Who cares.  What is really important?

Heart Chakra: Aww! The ability to love on all four levels equally. Not easy.  

Throat Chakra:  Communication!  

Third Eye Chakra: Insight into human nature.  My best discussions with my partner are about this.

Crown Chakra: Spiritual bonding. Also, I see this as the source of the sense of moral fair play.  Finding someone who has the same moral values as you do.

Finding your dream person:
Aw! You say, "Impossible to find!"  But we can only attract what we are selves have managed to become.  If we are stuck on ego then likely we will be stuck in ego driven relationships with ego driven arguements. Is the answer to become your dream person? (No, no I'm not suggesting a sex change[Tongue]).

In my dream I was interviewing old boyfriends who had married and were now divorced.  What struck me was their complaints about their partners were all traits I had decided were insurmountable in them.  Insurmountable meaning, I felt they were likely not to grow out of these traits. Not to say they wouldn't - just a probability thing based solely on my opinion at the time.

Interested in your thoughts.

Respectfully,
timeless[Smiley]
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Nameless
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« Reply #19 on: July 17, 2021, 04:42:11 »

Hormones? Natural selection? We just think we control all of our actions.
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« Reply #20 on: July 20, 2021, 13:56:43 »

How wonderful to see this again, thanks for pulling it to the top, Nameless!  I don't even remember this conversation. lol but nothing has changed, except I'm much more patient.  Still very happy after 25yrs, and I think my relationship with all my kids are really strong, so life is good.  Smiley

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Nameless
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« Reply #21 on: July 20, 2021, 17:07:15 »

Congratulations on hitting 25 yrs. This was a nice thread so happy to pull it up. smiley
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« Reply #22 on: July 20, 2021, 23:19:21 »

Congratulations on hitting 25 yrs. This was a nice thread so happy to pull it up. smiley
Thank you!   smiley
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