So, how am I going to go about this..

[Goober]

  I was born Christian, from Christian parents, and into a Christian family. I'm not Christian anymore, but my parents still are. They are not just Christian.. they are...

EXTREMELY Christian.



  I don't mean that in a good way, oh no... I mean it in the closed-minded way. Well, for my dad anyway.  If I told my mother I was no longer Christian, she would understand.. but if I told my dad.. I might get kicked out of the house. That's how bad it is.

  Like, the other night.. I said something like "The universe is amazingly huge..", and my dad said "Yea, and who do you think made it all?", in an equally amazed tone. I said "God.", and somehow we got onto the subject of the big bang..

I said "Well, if time is the vibration of energy, and the Big Bang created the movement of the universe in general, then it's possible it was the start, because there was no time before the Big Bang." At which point, he says "Well, if you believe that Cole, then you don't believe in God!!!"

I tell him I have to have an open mind about this, and he should to.. He says no, he will not. He is fuming during all of this.













I don't want you to think of my dad as a closed-minded idiot. He's a smart, cool guy. But when it comes to Christianity, man, he just doesn't listen. I think he is just very worried about me. All of our ancestors, and everyone we know is Christian ( We live in Mississippi.. ), so it is ingrained into his brain that it IS right, no matter what. I believe he thinks I'll be going to Hell, so he's very very scared for me..

Does anyone have any advice on how I could tell him, in a way that wouldn't make him worry for me? I have to tell him, I can't let him think I'm Christian all my life.

[nappyboy76]

goober,

liek you i was born and raised christian. and even baptized when i was about 11 or 12. the past year or so i have changed my mind about a lot of things in what i believe. such as reincarnation, astral projection, i dont believe in 1 god like christians think i believe we are all god and everything around us and everything we feel is god, i dont believe anymore that jesus will ''save'' you from your sins and prevent you from mgoing to hell but i still look up to him as a great person and a perfect example on how to live life.

i havent told my parents or really anyone yet about my changes in beliefs. so im in the same boat here . i guess one point i would bring across is that he shouldnt judge you and your decision even the bible teaches not to judge one  another and ''God'' will be the judge not us.

idk if i have helped at all but its good that you are finally taking that step to tell your parents.

-Joshua

[Principle]

First and foremost, People should not decide to remain so close-minded. No one religion holds the absolute truth or salvation. I believe in your relationship with God being a Personal One.

To be perfectly honest, Religion and Science co-enside, and go hand and hand.
However, Some people just don't see it that way. And if things were explained in a certain manner, they would make perfect sense or at least more sense than in the present moment.

For example: The big bang, (An explosion) What is an explosion but vibrations?

Yahweh (God) spoke and said "Let there be Light!", What is sound but a vibration?
And I think the Supreme Creator of the Universe would be able to have such a great ability.

Even if Yahweh, decended from Heaven (His Kingdom, His Throne).
People will still not believe in Him, or his Existance, trying to explain it with Science.

Theory is to Science, As faith is to Religion.
Both have a long way to go.

The Carnal Mind will never be even close to understanding all of Yahweh's Creations.

[Hannah b]

Hey!

If I were you I'd keep on pretending that it's all good, and let them know when you're already separated from them, mostly financially. You're father doesn't seem to be ready for any change of conciousnes, and your statement could do you more harm than good. He'll start thinking that you are in a sect, taking drugs or meeting with the wrong crowd. Then he'll REALLY start worrying about you. Oneday a time will come during which it will be "safer" for you to speak your truth. I've never told my parents about what my real intrests and beliefs are when I was younger. I have a very good relationship with them, I'm completely independent from them, and now, from time I speak my truth...yes...they get shocked, but there is nothing they can do to me, so it's all good.
Play it smart Goober, any discussions with someone who is convinced that their truth is the only truth there is, are pointless in my opinion.

All the best

[Novice]

I'm with Hannah on this one.

My mother and all of my family on her side are christian. My aunt is SO uptight about this, that she had a complete fit when both of her kids married catholics -- she's lutheran. She kept threatening them not to sign the paper (all catholics or those marrying in to the faith must sign a paper saying they agree to raise the children as catholics). She was actually prejudiced against other branches of christianity! 

But like Hannah said, you can't change his mind just as he cannot change yours. He must follow what he believes to be true for him and you need to do the same. However, following what is true for you does not mean you need to advertise your truth to others. I don't discuss my beliefs with anyone unless I think they are ready to hear them -- not even my husband (because he's no where near ready to hear them). That doesn't mean I give them up, it just means I don't share them with others. They are quite personal, and even if I could share them with everyone I know I would not do it.

If you are still living in his house, then I would recommend holding your tongue and respecting his beliefs. When you are on your own and he's possibly mellowed out over time, then perhaps broach the subject again. Its great that you feel comfortable with your beliefs, but if they cause others, particularly those near you, distress, then I think it prudent to keep them to yourself for now.

[Stookie]

Oh my... it's funny this came up because I'm kind of dealing with it myself - today!

My parents are hugely religious christians and would be very upset to think I didn't believe in Jesus as my savior, so as far as they are concerned, I'm a christian. I haven't lived at home in over 11 years, but continue this farce of beliefs because we have a wonderful relationship that I wouldn't want to damage. And it's been great.

But as of Monday they have been bugging me about going to a bible study with them tonight. They say it's a new teacher who will be speaking about cults and that it would be very beneficial for me to come. They haven't put so much pressure on me since I was in high school to go to something like this. I have no desire whatsoever to attend, but don't want to spend the night at home feeling guilty for dissapointing them. They REALLY want me to go, and I'm not sure why.

But ya know... I'm going to go. Keeping a good relationship with them is important to me. I can go this once, tell them it's not for me, and hopefully not get pressured like this again for another 11 years. It's easier to just do it than attempting the impossible task of getting them to understand why I have no desire to go.

So my advice is like the others - pretend to agree with their beliefs and not push yours on them. It can strain a relationship and be a waste of their time trying to convert you back. When my parents ask me about my faith, I tell them I find the answers through Christ in myself, using the word "Christ" for God or Higher Self. That way I'm not lying and I'm still christian to them. But I don't speak about metaphysics or anything they might constrew as being "new age". I have to keep it on their level.

Good luck. I think I need some myself.
(Maybe I'll have a story to tell tomorrow)

[Goober]

Thanks guys. 

  I think I will continue to act like a Christian. When my dad brings up things that our views conflict on, I think I will do what I do now about it.. say how the other idea is plausible, and should be thought about, but how I don't believe in it. Or something to that effect, anyway.

[paint1]

Stookie, it sounds like your parents are more suspicious of your beliefs than you realise or they wouldn't be pressuring you to attend. Also, the word "cults" kind of raises a red flag. I really don't understand why you all feel the need to share or discuss your beliefs. Why not just keep them for yourself.

[Stookie]

Stookie, it sounds like your parents are more suspicious of your beliefs than you realise or they wouldn't be pressuring you to attend. Also, the word "cults" kind of raises a red flag. I really don't understand why you all feel the need to share or discuss your beliefs. Why not just keep them for yourself.

I went and it was really boring. It was some redneck raving about jehova's witnesses and mormons and, get this, evolutionists, scientists & philosophers, as if they're all part of cults. He's their to "arm them for warfare" against these peoples' beliefs with proof from the bible that they're all wrong. It was some oldschool baptist crap - I don't think he even believes dinosaurs existed. It was both funny and sad.

And I'm going to the next three classes to see how more rediculous it gets. But I don't think it has anything to do with my parents thinking I'm in a cult. I just think they were hoping I would genuinely find it interesting. Oh well, I've got nothing else to do on wednesday night.

[paint1]

Sounds like you have a great sense of humor, enjoy

[Mydral]

If they don't want to accept it go underground and wait till your over 18 

[cainam_nazier]

Okay I have already been through this.  And I continue to go through this because my relatives keep forgetting.

Ultimately you will have to just come out and say, and do so as bluntly as possible.  For me the simple "I do not believe in God." was enough to get everyones attention.  But how easily they forget.  But part of doing it is making sure that you accept them and thier beliefs but that their beliefs are not yours. 

But since I don't know your entire situation I would also excerise caution because you said you were worried about getting kicked out.  I would definately wait until you are capable or ready to "take care of yourself." 

Ultimately though I would have to say too that no matter what do not let this be a point of contention with your family.  Even though you do not share the same beliefs it does not mean that you no longer related.  Be there for family functions, even the religious holidays, and such. 

It sounds odd saying it, but if your parents can be adult about it, it may also be helpful to set some basic rules.  For instance there are two major things that I will not talk to my parents about, Religion and Politics.  More importantly I have told them this.  And if for what ever reason it comes up I tell them that I won't talk about it, unless they truely want to know what I think and are open to my opinion.  However if the conversation moves away from an "open" discussion I simpley tell them I am done talking about it and walk away.  It is a little rough to do at first but it is better in the long run and hopefully your parents will see that.

Anyway, hold out for now and good luck.

[CFTraveler]

I went and it was really boring. It was some redneck raving about jehova's witnesses and mormons and, get this, evolutionists, scientists & philosophers, as if they're all part of cults. He's their to "arm them for warfare" against these peoples' beliefs with proof from the bible that they're all wrong. It was some oldschool baptist crap - I don't think he even believes dinosaurs existed. It was both funny and sad.

And I'm going to the next three classes to see how more rediculous it gets. But I don't think it has anything to do with my parents thinking I'm in a cult. I just think they were hoping I would genuinely find it interesting. Oh well, I've got nothing else to do on wednesday night.

If you're really bored get a copy of Science and Theology and bring it to class.  Of course, you may not be allowed back again.   

[Stookie]

If you're really bored get a copy of Science and Theology and bring it to class.  Of course, you may not be allowed back again.   

lol, there are 3 more weeks of classes, so I think I'll wait until the final class to surprise him with some questions he wasn't expecting. I just don't get how someone can say that most of science is flawed because it doesn't talk about it in the bible.

[CFTraveler]

lol, there are 3 more weeks of classes, so I think I'll wait until the final class to surprise him with some questions he wasn't expecting. I just don't get how someone can say that most of science is flawed because it doesn't talk about it in the bible.

Then get a copy of Bible Review and really tinkle them off. (I'm full of mischief today (hee hee )

[The Present Moment]

All of our ancestors, and everyone we know is Christian ( We live in Mississippi.. )

The nail that sticks up gets hammered down; a tall tree catches much wind.

[Goober]

The nail that sticks up gets hammered down; a tall tree catches much wind.

Leap, and the net will appear.

[Spawn_Xe]

Leap, and the net will appear.

haha, touche!!


the great thing i find about most preachers is thier lack of contemplation. They read the bible and dont contemplate facts.. they just accept it as is. They are typical victims of media brain washing and are often the type of people who judge without reason. The best combatent is to pick holes in thier beliefs with education as your sword of choice. Read the bible, then throw its flaws in thier face and see how they react.... always great fun. Thier only defence to gaps in logic or reason in the bible is almost always 'its a test on our faith from god'... so arm yourself appropriately (i like to use this one.. 'if that is so, then our free will and thinking is not gods will?.. just blind faith?.. so we are slaves of god?... he doesnt sound christian')

[CFTraveler]

I would add to this advice:  Study the Bible, it's history, how it's been changed through the ages, by whom and why- nowadays there are many books that are accessible; it is no longer necessary to spend lots of money to find out the history behind the dogma.  And in some places, it's still allowed.