Experience: Going into the light

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Gandalf

Last night I had an extraordinary experience which is unlike anything I've experienced so far.

I became lucid during the night and found myself wandering over some landscape or other. The sun was out.

Now, I'm guessing this was probably some generated dreamscape/F2 zone and just walked around enjoying it. Then my attention was drawn up to the sun above me.
Now the sun started to take on a different aspect. The light emitting from it took on that golden light I have come to associate with F27/F3 or 'the park'. A wonderful light that radiates a feeling of love or what Frank would call 'subjective energy'. Although Moen's description of 'unconditional love' seems an equally good description in my view as that is precisely the emotional effect that pure subjective energy has on you. The term 'subjective energy' while being more factually correct in terms of identifying the energy, falls short of describing the effect that it has upon you, a crucial factor imv.

Anyway, I suddenly felt drawn to this light and started flying upwards and towards it. I tried sending 'positive vibes' or sense of love towards it and immediately the light returned this but magnified 10 fold.

I then slowed down in my approach to this wonderful golden light so I reached out and grabbed hold of the rays of light emanating from the light. I then found that with this contact established, the light was able to pull me towards it more effectively.

While much of this pull towards the light appears to have been due to my desire to approach it, I also got the definite sense that the light itself was sentient in some way, it was intelligent. I don't know if the light represented some being/person or a group of people or a more abstract energy, but it definatly appeared to want me to approach it and was attempting to help me do so.

The light grew until it virtually enveloped me and I increasingly felt myself lose contact with my old lucid environment and with my physical body (which before I was still dimly aware of.)

At this point fear kicked in. I started to fear about being absorbed by this golden light, despite the feeling of warmth emanating from it, that perhaps I might somewhere lose myself within it, or lose my individuality somehow. I don't know. It was just a generic fear of the unknown. Anyway, the onset of this fear became manifest immediately as I became aware of an enormous struggle going on, with the light trying to pull me towards itself and my physical body, far away, trying to pull me back to itself.. I was some where in the middle! (Actually I was much closer to the light at this point). I guess this was a manifestation of the struggle in my own mind about the whole experience.

In the end my fears won out and the light let me go. I shot back to physical; unfortunately I didn't focus 100% on physical because when I returned I was half out of my body, with me sticking sideways out of the bed at an odd angle. It took me a few seconds to realign myself properly!

This was an amazing experience and it confuses me as I have never come across anything like it so far. I have been somewhat aware of this light in the past, that I have felt that the 'sunlight' above me was often hiding more than at at first appeared, but I never took it further. This is the first time I have been pulled towards it and it has shown itself to be much more than at first appears.

Perhaps it was all a dreamscape/f2 experience but there is something about the energy emitted from the light that makes it far more significant than that. It seems to radiate unconditional love/pure subjective energy; I don't know if it is abstract energy or whether it is actually a being/individual or group of individuals whom I cannot perceive at this time. I'm not sure. The thing is, I HAVE met members of my 'astral family' in more familiar surroundings in 'the park' in F27 and they appeared far more 'human'. This light however, I don't know what to make of it! It radiated the same energy as they do, but far stronger.

Anyone had any similar experiences or can lesson my fears the next time I find myself being 'drawn into the light'?

Doug
"It is to Scotland that we look for our idea of civilisation." -- Voltaire.

Ivanda

Very interesting.

I had a similar experience during my lucid dream a while ago. It was short, but very powerful. I suddenly saw this huge light above me, it was pulling me up and I was overcome by fear...maybe I was afraid of not coming back to my body if I let go. Unfortunately fear was so intense that I cannot even tell what the light was like.... friendly, loving, neutral or what.

love,
ivanda
"And now these three remain: Faith, Hope and Love. But the greatest of these is Love."
(Corinthians, 1:13)

greatoutdoors

Gandalf, what a fantastic experience!  8)

It's hard to know whether your fear reaction was unfortunate or not. What if you had gone on to that light -- would you have been able to come back when you wished, or would your physical body have died?

I hada similar experience a very long time ago. I was awake, lying down, and concentrating on staring at a bit of reflected sunlight on the wall. You may have noticed if you stare directly at such a spot (not so bright it hurts your eyes), everything just starts disappearing -- the whole world just becomes shining white. Well, that began happening, and all of a sudden, in the center of the whiteness, a hole appeared. I could see a row of hospital type beds lining a large veranda, and beyond that was a green, park-like lawn, blue sky, and fluffy clouds. My viewpoint was from one of the beds and I could see nurses/attendants starting to turn and come toward me. They were smiling and very pleased that I was recognizing them. Then my eyes got so tired and dry I had to blink and it all disappeared. I tried to do it again, but my eyes wouldn't cooperate. I had the distinct impression that, in that world, I was a patient who was showing signs of coming out of unconsciousness. Like I say, I wasn't asleep.

I've tried many times since then to repeat the process, but have never been able to keep my eyes focused long enough. I can get the whiteness to gather, and sometimes get the feeling that those people, and that world, is right there waiting for me. But I always have to blink before it becomes thick enough to let the hole show through.

I have also thought about what would happen if I ever do succeed in fully waking up on that world. Same as your experience, I don't know if I would be able (or want) to come back to this reality.

Ivanda, yes, it seems like you're right there in the club with us. I remember feeling afraid as well, and that may have some bearing on why I couldn't refocus and hold it. But if what I saw through the white light was any indication of what's actually there, it doesn't seem bad. Of course, if I "went through" and got out of that hospital setting, who knows what that world would be like...

Frank

Doug:

Ha ha ha, I wondered if someone would work it out!

I cannot be 100% certain, but from what you say you were about to make the transition to Focus 4. You have to always bear in mind that we tend to objectify everything. The light that you see is YOU it is YOUR light that you are radiating and reflecting. It is sentient, it is living, it's you, lol, and it's your light. But the problem is, everyone always objectifies everything. So they call it "gods love" or "pure, unconditional love". But there is no such thing, it's all you. But you in a wider sense.

People project to Focus 27. They feel this "mysterious energy". So they try to figure out what it must be. They label it based on the emotional effect that it has on them. To me that is a mistake, because then people start objectifying further and begin thinking there must be a kind of source of this mysterious energy. It never actually occurs to people that everyone feels it because everyone radiates it! But because people objectify everything and are normally totally body fixated, they think there is one source of this mysterious energy somewhere. So the whole "god" concept was born. The other primary mistake people make is they think the focus numbers are different places. But they are focuses of attention along your own continuum of consciousness.    

All this is on the basis that it was an attempted F4 transition, of course. You are, I think, experienced enough to know the difference between that and mere wish fulfilment within Focus 2. After all, it's not that difficult to differentiate the two once you have a little experience.

It's just where you say that you feared losing your sense of individuality. That is what happens when you make the transition. All sense of "body" is just totally blown away. Had you progressed I reckon you would have "become" that light. In other words, you would have offered yourself an objective knowing of your very source. These are incredibly profound experiences so tread carefully.

Revelling in these highly subjective energies could turn even the most hardened axe-murderer release serial chainsaw killer into a sobbing heap of emotional jelly in just seconds. And I'm not joking. In case you missed it, I was stressing this very point in another thread recently.

Yours,
Frank

Gandalf

hmm interesting.
I don't know if I'm ready for such an experience yet. Maybe I am, but do I want to risk it? That doubt will itself probably be enough to put me off the next time I find myself in such a state.

Doug
"It is to Scotland that we look for our idea of civilisation." -- Voltaire.

Frank

Doug:

Actually making the transition is a bit tricky and is laden with all manner of fear-based repercussions. Getting through the total bodily disintegration stage is quite a task. Well, it was for me. Focus 3 hits nowhere near the number of belief constructs. It's all very "objective" and physical like. Focus 3 often comes across as more physical than the physical. It is the Transition Area after all. But Focus 4 just zaps you. Still, I wouldn't let that put you off. Tread a little carefully, though, else the old emotions will be shooting through the roof.

Yours,
Frank

patapouf

Really interesting folks, I never experienced such a thing and it seems that this fear is one of the major obstacle. Again, probably, we have to put fears aside if we want to know. It's like experiencing OBEs symptoms for the first time again, first we do not know what it is and after we learn to ''go with the flow''.

Take care,

oloxio

Hello,

I had a similar experience.

I was aware of a dazzling, shimmering light. It was sort of like a dandelion flower when it turns white, but was made up of sparkling, living brightness.

And I knew that I was THAT - it was my "true" existence. The feeling of remembrance and relief was so overwhelming. I thought myself so endearingly silly that I had forgotten this.

On a much, much smaller scale, the feeling was kind of like winning the lottery, then waking up the next morning, and beginning to carry on with the daily pattern, then suddenly slapping myself in the head and remembering, "wait a minute... I won the lottery!!!"  

Sorry about the clumsy analogy. I find it difficult to adequately describe what happened.

greatoutdoors

Oloxio, that sounds like a fantastic experience!  :D My own feeling was more of regret that I was unable to get where I really belonged.

oloxio

I think I know how you feel, greatoutdoors.  I've been aching to go back to the experience, and feel the way I did then.

If I focus on the memory of it, I can feel some of the associated energy, but it's nowhere near the sweetness of elation first felt.

I wish us both luck.   :)

Beth

From My Journal:
Wednesday July 25, 2001

Between 3:00 and 3:45 p.m., I had a most extraordinary experience.
It began with a dream of my older son who was talking on the phone across from me.  Looking at him sitting there, I began to fall deeply asleep within this dream, almost pass out in a way.  I could not keep my eyes open, but managed to say to my son, "Don't leave yet, I want to see you."  With that, my son was standing in front of me, bare-chested and glowing with white light.  He reached out his hand, and struggling through the heavy sleep I managed to take his right hand with my left hand.  

As soon as our hands made contact, an incredibly intense surge/bolt of white light coursed through my body.  My physical body was laying on its right side, but "I" was now facing the ceiling.  This light/power/bolt of energy was so intensly flowing through me that I began to rise out of my body as a long, rectangular and still reclined pillar of white light.  (This was definately not my usual out-of-body projected double.)  

I could hear myself crackle, hiss and pop with this surge of energy; I realized this must be what it is like to be electrocuted, and quickly assumed that I was dying.  But even this didn't matter, and giving over to it I was becoming the most radiant light I had ever seen.  

I also became aware of another presence of light on the ceiling just beyond me.  I continued to rise high over my body toward the ceiling, and upon reaching the ceiling my new light body rolled up like a carpet, then folded in on itself creating a ball or sphere.  Now I was a sphere of brilliant light!!!

At this point I did not just fly, I zoomed at a speed that I cannot possibly describe.  I zoomed through my apartment.  As I approached walls, the walls gave way to me, not by opening up but by changing their form to accommodate me; like a trampoline would for a jumper, I suppose.  This was a most exhilarating experience!!!!  I laughed out loud, marveling at this; zooming around to the sound of my own thoughts yelling "Woo-whoo!!!"  I was filled with PURE JOY and a newfound sense of FREEDOM.   (I have had many projection/flying experiences, but I had never experienced anything like this!)

I zoomed into my kitchen where I stopped and hovered, commenting to myself that I needed a decorative 'fan of peacock feathers' to hang on my wall, and further adding that I also need to paint the wall 'gold'.  At the very moment of these thoughts, a large fan of colorful peacock feathers appeared right in front of me and yes, the wall turned into a brillant and shining gold.  I was actually quite pleased with myself!

I then noticed that the refrigerator door was open as the light was shining through the crack; upon closer inspection, the door was jammed open with a refrigerator magnet.  I stopped, or hovered rather, to fix this small problem.  When I did, however, the act apparently required an 'arm' (which I did not have, being that I was a sphere of light), and at that very thought, I indeed had 'an arm' but was also immediately 'descending' to the ground!  I guess by creating an arm, I was now "reduced" to my usual projected body double.  

Very disappointed, but not to be thwarted, I stood in the doorway of my kitchen, and facing down the hallway (I assumed a Superman like flying stance!!!!) I attempted another take-off!  Like a little child, I said out loud, "I want to do it again!"  

This desire was to no avail, however, as I began to feel the sound of "The Thunder" rising up through my body from the soles of my feet.  (I recognized the "The Thunder" because I have heard it before.) Interpreting the sound of thunder, I realized that my fun was over—I was being sent back to bed!!!  

It was truly as though I were a child, being caught in an instance of harmless childhood mischief, and sent off to bed by a very loving yet firm parent, with a loving pat on my behind and a muss of my hair.  I then awoke in my bed, back in my physical body, laying on my side.

This was a very life changing experience for me, and whenever I think about it, I am reminded of the complete and utter joy and freedom of the experience.  There is truly nothing like it!   The down side?  Well, now that I have experienced this, just being here on this plane, 'stuck' in this physical body, can really be a drag sometimes.  I have experienced a lot more frustration with being here, and sometimes I can even become a bit depressed and 'homesick'.  I always wish I could just be 'my real self' again!

Beth
Become a Critical Thinker!
"Ignorance is the greatest of all sins."
                   --Origen of Alexandria

greatoutdoors

Wow, Beth!

You gave me goosebumps!   I have had the feeling you describe only once, at Muir Woods. Just as you describe, the feeling of incredible joy was overwhelming!

QuoteThere is truly nothing like it! The down side? Well, now that I have experienced this, just being here on this plane, 'stuck' in this physical body, can really be a drag sometimes. I have experienced a lot more frustration with being here, and sometimes I can even become a bit depressed and 'homesick'.

I totally agree with you! People laugh, even here, when I talk about being homesick for a place I've never been, but you have hit the nail on the head. If I ever do succeed in consciously getting out of this body, someone will quite definitely have to force me back in! There is so much more than this!!  :D

Thank you for your post, you really have made my day brighter.

Gandalf

Amazing experience Beth. Thanks for sharing. And if its any consolation, at least you now have somethnig to aim for, ie a repeat experience and further exploration of it!

Doug
"It is to Scotland that we look for our idea of civilisation." -- Voltaire.

Beth

Greatoutdoors, I am glad to know someone else feels 'homesick' too!  So far, few people have related to me similar feelings, but that does not keep me from still feeling it myself.

Gandalf, yes that is certainly true, I do have something to aim for, and even though that was almost 4 years ago now, and a similar experience has eluded me so far, knowing it as 'my truth' does give me a lot to look forward to, in fact, that is usually how I pull myself out the depression that sometimes comes!

:D  Beth
Become a Critical Thinker!
"Ignorance is the greatest of all sins."
                   --Origen of Alexandria

Gandalf

I guess we all have many many focuses that we engage with and therefore experience almost every possible aspect of physical existance.

This kind of makes sense as one of the most appealing aspects of reincarnation theory is that if you dont manage to expererience certain things during your life, you can always do so in the future.

However, with the traditional version of reincarnation in doubt, this led to me thinking well, looks like if you miss something then your screwed, you'll never get a chance to do it again.. which almost brings me back to the dismal 'one life, one chance only' concept of materialist, cynical thought.

However, if it is true that your  'total self' engages in  a whole myriad of physical focuses, silmultaniously, then it appears that we do after all get to experience every possible aspect of physical experience (from a focus 4 perspective), through these myriad focuses... this approach actually sounds far more extensive than the traditional approach!

Doug

PS is anyone aware of Bruce Moen's theory? He calls these 'total selves' his 'disk'.. but then he goes further and says these 'disks' are in themselves part of an even greater 'total' self somewhere else, which in turn is belongs to something even greater and so it goes on until you arrive finally at the total self that IS everything ie what traditional accounts call 'god'... nice idea but completely unprovable!
"It is to Scotland that we look for our idea of civilisation." -- Voltaire.