Months long experience at "The School"- Post-physical rest area

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Stillwater

This particular projection really stood out for me, because it is the longest I can ever recall having had by a LONG margin.

Most of my experiences these days are ending up being lucid dreams where I escape the dream narritive for a full-fledged projection. This is mostly because being rather busy of late, I don't have the liberty of disrupting sleep with setting up early morning attempts as usual, but I seem have a knack for gaining lucidity in normal dreams.

What the particular dream was to start with I don't really recall, but after I "snapped into it, I found myself wandering briefly through various geometric light environments which were dazzling but bewildering (can't really say what that was about... sort of a hypnogaugic thing in some sense). Immediately after this, I was in the middle of what appeared to be a musical practice room. There were a few people sitting around in an arc, and the instructor was teaching someone to play a pedal harp (I think this was my own projected image, because I have always found that a fascinating instrument). I came to understand that we were all pupils in a sort of school, and we had many lessons which were sometimes interesting, and sometimes sort of "boring inflictions" upon us, lol. They weren't like life-lessons per se that I could see, but sort of basic accademic things. I got the impression that it wasn't the material that we were so much supposed to be learning from, but the environment of being there, with one another.

I got to know the other pupils very well, because they were my only peers (the instructors being cold and mechanical affairs; I got the impression it wasn't so much they didn't care about us, very much the opposite was the case, but I felt they were obligated somehow to be stern).

After some days of being there (and it was days literally) I began to get strange thoughts I hadn't had before. I sort of realized it was as though I had passed over the "River Styx" or some such... I couldn't remember what came before at all, or how I came to be there, and that disturbed me. Up to that point I had been caught up in the routine of lessons and sleeping and socializing and more lessons that I hadn't even considered questioning it all. I decided I must have had temporary amnesia or something, and that if I just continued on it would all work itself out somehow.

More lessons (history, musical practice, literature, botany ad nausium) filled most of the waking hours, and the time just seemd to flow by. But I started speaking to the others a bit more about my amnesia, and what it meant. They explained it eventually wore off, but that wasn't the worst of it. They told me near as anyone among them could see, that we must all be dead. Surprisingly that didn't bother me, I just sort of accepted I was dead, and that was that. I asked them if they had met their family members, but I immediately realized that was the exact wrong question. A desperate gloom settled over everyone present as someone simply explained that was all any of them wanted to do, and no one could really figure out how. A powerful wave of pity crept over me in that instant for the indescribable loss they all felt, and oddly I didn't seem to really seem to worry that I was in their exact position with them. I guess for them to be in that position was as immediate to me as myself being there. I guess I sort of have to explain at this point that conversation was mostly verbal, but that a manner of telepathic emotional resonance was present between all of the pupils as well, and this might account for that empathetic sharing.

I had no real way of counting time, because there were no calenders or weeks or any such thing, despite there being a wake / sleep cycle, so I really can't say how long this all continued, but in my mind, based on how many lessons had gone by, and how accustomed to it all I became, I feel like it must have been 3 months or so in our time.

I started to wonder what all these lessons were for afterall, but we were kept in childlike ignorance of the wherefores. The instructors carried on mercilessly and with purpose, while a mild frustration with not knowing what it was all for took hold. Another day after we finished lessons and were sitting in a sort of lounge without any sort of activity to occupy us, I asked a question of one of the others (I think his name was Peter, and I always thought of him as a fisherman, but I think that was another personal projection because of my knowledge of the biblical Peter"). I said, " You know, how long do I have to be here? I feel like I have been here for months (which was accurate) and I would really like to know when I can just move on. How long have you all been here?"

The reply, to paraphrase, was something like, "That isn't very long at all. We have all been here for so long we can't even put a number on it. This is the world to us and we have been here far longer than we have been any other place we can recall. We would ALL like to know when we will be released of this."

I replied, "That is a terrible thing to be sure."

He went on, "Well, this isn't the worst place to be. It just is what it is. Perhaps we should be thankful we are here because maybe it is among the best places one could be. But we would all like to know what else there is..."

The terrible thing for me in that whole exchange was combining that new knowledge with what was said earlier about how they all missed their families so much and had no knowledge of them... thinking about how long they had been in such a severed limbo. And everyone understood what I was thinking and all contemplated the terrifying weight of all that ceaseless longing. I understood then that that was why no one ever seemed to want to do anything when they weren't taking lessons... they were crippled with loss, and nothing in this environement could really take their mind off of that for long. We were thrown into this place of unending drudgery that only seemed temporarily to take their mind off of their own inner sufferings. I didn't really seem to share their lot to the extent that they all were so totally immobilized by it, but I got the impression that maybe that would change with time. But at the close of that conversation, It was as though I had overflowed. I was so consumed with the bottomless depth of their emotional suffering that I receded into myself, and in that very moment I came back to waking reality.

I have to say I am really drained for the emotional exertition that place and experience cost me. I haven't a clear idea what it was, but I suppose it may be the same sort of "rest area" that some projectors have experienced as hospitals; the people there are dead and are in the process of moving on, but in some sense are emotionally damaged or traumatized. If the place really exists as I think it does, I wish there was something I could do for those occupying it, but I haven't been able to return.

Have any of you experienced similar, or had one of these overwhelming projections that compress months worth of experience into a few physical hours?

I had heard such long projections happened, but this the only one near that length I have ever had.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

Lionheart

 Here is an excerpt from a previous post of mine where I felt I lived a lifetime in one night. I saw myself aging in this scenario as well over a long period of time. Other people around me were as well.

"Last night I lived almost a lifetime in Thailand. I awoke 4 different times for real, just to be thrust back into my dream again. I thought it was a retrieval, because it started in an area of immense floods, but through it all I saw changes in myself. In my weight, my health, my overall persona. Normally upon awakening with dream recall I immediately grab my book and write down everything. But I awoke 3 different times during this dream, I decided I was too lazy and would do it later. This is usually a fatal mistake with dream recall, for that would normally kill any memories of the event that I had. But this time when I awoke again and again, I would just jump right back into the scene. It was incredibly vivid and I looked like I was aging at the end of it, so I must have lived this scene there for a considerable time span."

This was a scene where I was in Thailand with Mary Jo, there was immense flooding everywhere. We stayed to help for a while, but then Mary Jo had to go back home to the USA. I decided to stay and help the Thailand community with their clean up. I moved out of my motel into the home of a young Thai woman. I would go out to clean up and help during the day, then return back to her home at night, where she would feed me fantastic meals and I would attempt to learn the Thai language. She would also give me soothing massages every night. There were a couple of younger guys in the small town that didn't like the fact that I was living with her, because I wasn't Thai and because they were jealous. So there were a couple of confrontations through the time I was there. We cleaned up the damage from the  floods and then for some reason I stayed there. Years had passed now and I was growing old like the rest of people around me. But, now I was respected as part of the community. It was really weird watching the years pass by, I think that time changed everytime I had one of my brief real awakenings. I would return back to the same town, same people, same scene, but we would all be older. It was surreal. But also very healing. I felt excellent when I had finally awoken the next morning.

This was the only time I found myself in full Cycle/lifetime situation. I felt great the next day too, which was strange because of all the energy that must have been exerted. I have awoken in the morning from some very brief LDs and have found myself completely exhausted.

Here is Stookie's reasoning for what had occurred.
"The further you move away from the physical, the further separated you become from time/space, and the more distorted time can become. Take it a step further and remove yourself from time/space altogether and you exist in an infinite moment. It's impossible to describe from a physical perspective, so in my best words I would describe it as being a miniscule moment in time stretched into infinity, and infinity crammed into a single miniscule moment, both at the same time. And that's just in relation to time, space is gone too."

Sounds good to me!  :-D

Astralzombie

If they were in a limbo, you may have given them some hope. At the very least, they now know that it is possible to leave that place.

That should change the way they think which changes everything. :-)
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
Mark Twain

Stillwater

I remember you sharing the experience, Lionheart... you must really feel old with another full lifetime under your belt  :wink:

Some have said that there is an equivelancy in time conversion between the physical and various planes; I have heard some say the "astral" is a seven-to-one conversion with here, and that the "higher" planes are more like 200-to-one.

I think I doubt it actually works like that... like the world is some sort of clock-like machine and we are just on the hour hand here... I feel like the entire physical world experience is fully encapsulated in one grand timeline set, and we are free to jump in and out of it at various times like we were popping in a VHS cassette wound somewhere in the middle. Time probably exists, but not as a continuum... or so I surmise at least.

Astralzombie, I really don't know what the nature of that place was. Maybe they were there for their own benefit, maybe they weren't. The crushing lonesomeness of it all was quite a burden I could see... but maybe there was some positive side to it. Maybe they needed time for something, or to realize something, I don't know... I really wish I had definite knowledge I could have used for their benefit.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

Volgerle

Fascinating. I never had such a condensed-lifetime experience in NPMR (or whereever). Don't know if I want one, honestly, it's a bit spooky for me, it feels like being trapped.

It could be a lot. Akashic Record or past life re-experiencing maybe? A BST or indeed a hospital and regeneration area for the recently deceased? Who knows.

I think it was Buhlman and also Kurt Leland who wrote about such an experience about having lived through a whole lifetime.

This all reminds me of this great Star Trek SNG episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia1CISaKnzo

:-)

Lionheart

Quote from: Volgerle on November 03, 2013, 11:02:49
This all reminds me of this great Star Trek SNG episode:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ia1CISaKnzo

:-)
Wow, it definitely does. Who would have thought, Hollywood depicting something right, lol, without overdoing it!  :-D

That was a great episode!

Stillwater

I remember watching that in the mid 90's too... that was one of Stewart's best Piccard performances.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

Szaxx

Do you think your presence there opened them up to not being too dispondent?
You arrived, stayed a while and left. It takes around 21 days to install things into the subconcious, perhaps this is their problem.
There's usually something in this that applies to you too. It  may become apparent in a few days. A third person perspective of the whole may give some idea of its purpose.
A good stay too, were you aware of this physical environment at all or was something removed from your memory to convince you that where you were is all there is?
The light environment at the beginning suggests you were in a higher realm to coin a label. The locale you found yourself in was similar too. I've found that permitted memories are a start of a retrieval. You at times only know the environment you're in and this is accepted as being all you've ever existed in. Past and  pertinent memories although vague exist, enough to take your mind of questioning things. Later on in the experience you regain your true memories as you progress.
There's more to this as it seems to have firmly fixed itself in your memory.
The amnesia wears off, did you notice this?
There's far more where the eye can't see.
Close your eyes and open your mind.

Stillwater

Yeah I am not sure what to make of the dazzling geometric lights. I have heard people many times say that they were a way of visualizing higher realms. I lean toward the idea that they might be a physical thing- they might be rapid hypnogaugic imagery of the kind we see before going to sleep sometimes, except being fully conscious in the projection state makes them more powerful- but this is only my temporary theory.

As I went into briefly in the narrative, I awoke into that place indeed having general amnesia, as though my task at hand was meant to take my full attention. I still had knowledge of basic things like scientific facts and music theory, and language, etc., but I didn't have much sense for my past. That slowly subsided over the course of the months.

I indeed think I was there for a reason Szaxx, and it probably wasn't the reason most of them were, but it was related.

I do a little introspection every now and then, and I think I have a good sense of what things matter to me in life, and what things scare me. I can say for pretty much most of my life now, I have not been at all afraid of death. I don't seek it, but I do welcome it. What I seem to have trouble dealing with though is the concept of losing people around me. I know that I can visit them a few weeks later if I put a lot of effort into it, but somehow it isn't the same. They will never be the same people they were, and that disquiets me some I have to admit.

I had a dream the following night after the long experience that cemented for me that this must be the concept being played at. Three different times I had strangers die in my presence due to traumatic injuries. The final one was the most intense. Someone had fired an arrow through his heart; I was horrified, I shouted out to people nearby to call for an ambulance, and I shouted out his physical description to them. Then I returned to see him kneeling against a wall, already fading. I wanted to speak with him, learn anything he wanted to say in that moment, but he didn't have much left in him, his eyes were half staring into nothingness.  I told him he just had to hold on for a moment with me, that help would be there in minutes, but he didn't have minutes. I felt his heartbeat, and finally seconds later felt the last beat, and I watched the last light fade from his eyes. The last 10 seconds of that sequence is burned into my memory in ultra-vivid detail. I have watched his eyes going still at least 20 times over.

After I woke up I realized the dream was very much about me, and not being prepared to have family members in that position.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

Lionheart

Quote from: Stillwater on November 04, 2013, 12:37:07
Yeah I am not sure what to make of the dazzling geometric lights. I have heard people many times say that they were a way of visualizing higher realms. I lean toward the idea that they might be a physical thing- they might be rapid hypnogaugic imagery of the kind we see before going to sleep sometimes, except being fully conscious in the projection state makes them more powerful- but this is only my temporary theory.


I had a dream the following night after the long experience that cemented for me that this must be the concept being played at. Three different times I had strangers die in my presence due to traumatic injuries. The final one was the most intense. Someone had fired an arrow through his heart; I was horrified, I shouted out to people nearby to call for an ambulance, and I shouted out his physical description to them. Then I returned to see him kneeling against a wall, already fading. I wanted to speak with him, learn anything he wanted to say in that moment, but he didn't have much left in him, his eyes were half staring into nothingness.  I told him he just had to hold on for a moment with me, that help would be there in minutes, but he didn't have minutes. I felt his heartbeat, and finally seconds later felt the last beat, and I watched the last light fade from his eyes. The last 10 seconds of that sequence is burned into my memory in ultra-vivid detail. I have watched his eyes going still at least 20 times over.

After I woke up I realized the dream was very much about me, and not being prepared to have family members in that position.
Usually when I see these "dazzling Geometric lights", they morph into actual shapes or scenery. One time (I posted this here as well), I found myself in another Realm where these orbs/lights actually were "reading" my mind and creating a beautiful scenario that they thought I would want to see. I stopped them politely and sent the mental message that I want to see what their Realm was really like. I then was treated to a spectacular site.

I think you are being taught to "Re-script". You could have Re-scripted these stranger's death and completely changed the outcome of the scenario. That's at least what it sounds like to me.

But like you say, you have read it as it being a Dream that was "very much about me, and not being prepared to have family members in that position". So, in the end a message was delivered!   :-)

Stillwater

That is very possible, but then I didn't get the impression I was reading a "choose your own adventure" book, in that I had choices. More it felt as though I was being shown something. Like a live-action movie I was acting in, but had no access to the script. Case in point, I expected the last man to be save-able, and I wanted him to hold out just long enough for medical attention. Despite my strong desires, he quickly passed, and I wasn't given a chance to relive or alter it in any way I could tell.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

soarin12

Amazing experience!  Looks like you are facing some fears of loosing loved ones.  You said above that when you met again they would not be the same as you knew them.  Any particular reason for believing that?  I ask because just last week I met my deceased Dad in a projection and he was the same guy I've always known (only a little younger looking.)  He had a big smile with tears like he knew what a special moment this was for us.  I cried and we hugged and both said "I love you."  Then we sat down and he started asking me something about my camera, but he didn't get too far before I got pulled back.  I thought about trying to get back there, but I decided against it because I was afraid if I didn't go over the experience in my mind I might loose it from memory.  It was such a joyous reunion and real as real could be.  Just wanted to share that in case it makes you feel any better.  :)

Szaxx

@ Stillwater, were your emotions switched on?
You'd fully understand this if they were.
There's far more where the eye can't see.
Close your eyes and open your mind.

Stillwater

I absolutely understand what you mean Szaxx.

Despite the fact that a lot of people tend to view me as dominantly a logical personal, I would actually say I am predominantly an emotionally oriented person. I seem to feel things much more strongly and immediately than others around me, and I find empathizing with others first nature. I have found it is often necessary to set emotional reactions aside apart from myself in order to merely function in many situations. I guess the closest analogy is the Vulcans from Star trek; on first inspection, they seem like they are cold and emotionless, but it is really the opposite- they are so hyper-emotional that they find the need to set their thoughts apart from their emotions. Much too with me. In fact, I don't even allow myself to engage with emotions much of the time because it would cloud my decision making in critical times.

I retained a lot of emotionally charged images from these experiences as a result.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

Stillwater

QuoteAmazing experience!  Looks like you are facing some fears of loosing loved ones.  You said above that when you met again they would not be the same as you knew them.  Any particular reason for believing that?  I ask because just last week I met my deceased Dad in a projection and he was the same guy I've always known (only a little younger looking.)  He had a big smile with tears like he knew what a special moment this was for us.  I cried and we hugged and both said "I love you."  Then we sat down and he started asking me something about my camera, but he didn't get too far before I got pulled back.  I thought about trying to get back there, but I decided against it because I was afraid if I didn't go over the experience in my mind I might loose it from memory.  It was such a joyous reunion and real as real could be.  Just wanted to share that in case it makes you feel any better.  Smiley

Hi Soarin!

What I mean as "not the same" is somewhat multifold. Firstly, they will be learning and experiencing new things and places. This is a positive thing, but experience does change someone too. I guess I don't look forward to the time when our paths will take us to separate places, and I cannot watch their existence unfold as closely as we can here. Sort of like leaving school; you spend a decade with the same group of people, then they disperse; you can indeed go and meet them, but it will take a much greater effort, and you cannot share in their experiences as closely or nearly as often. Things can never be as they were "back then". There is something primal and visceral about standing next to a person and looking upon them in pure immediacy that will only ever be allowed to us here in our single life with them.

The other major aspect of "not the same" I think deals with identity. From my experiences, my impression is that our consciousness carries on and we maintain our perspectives through as long as I can see. I also see though that a lot of what makes us what we are is very intimately tied to our current physical existence. Our full consciousness is much more complex and experienced than what we are now seeing. Our thought patterns are also very much directed by things such as our physical memories and our physical drives. We will maintain our existence, but we will  not exist  as what we are now. The identity that we possess with this life will die with our physical body. We will retain memories of it all, but we can never have the same perspective, and nor will those we know. For instance, when I meet people who have passed, I very much prefer for them to look as they did here, because that is their identity that I know and am comfortable with. But that is a mere formality. They have no fixed form as such.

I guess if you want the clearest analogy I can muster, think of a mother who's child lived with her their entire life, but who is now getting married and moving to the Ukraine. They shared a bond of immediacy and connection for as long as that child lived, but now their relationship is growing much more distant.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

soarin12

Quote from: Stillwater on November 06, 2013, 01:40:02
Hi Soarin!

What I mean as "not the same" is somewhat multifold. Firstly, they will be learning and experiencing new things and places. This is a positive thing, but experience does change someone too. I guess I don't look forward to the time when our paths will take us to separate places, and I cannot watch their existence unfold as closely as we can here. Sort of like leaving school; you spend a decade with the same group of people, then they disperse; you can indeed go and meet them, but it will take a much greater effort, and you cannot share in their experiences as closely or nearly as often. Things can never be as they were "back then". There is something primal and visceral about standing next to a person and looking upon them in pure immediacy that will only ever be allowed to us here in our single life with them.

The other major aspect of "not the same" I think deals with identity. From my experiences, my impression is that our consciousness carries on and we maintain our perspectives through as long as I can see. I also see though that a lot of what makes us what we are is very intimately tied to our current physical existence. Our full consciousness is much more complex and experienced than what we are now seeing. Our thought patterns are also very much directed by things such as our physical memories and our physical drives. We will maintain our existence, but we will  not exist  as what we are now. The identity that we possess with this life will die with our physical body. We will retain memories of it all, but we can never have the same perspective, and nor will those we know. For instance, when I meet people who have passed, I very much prefer for them to look as they did here, because that is their identity that I know and am comfortable with. But that is a mere formality. They have no fixed form as such.

I guess if you want the clearest analogy I can muster, think of a mother who's child lived with her their entire life, but who is now getting married and moving to the Ukraine. They shared a bond of immediacy and connection for as long as that child lived, but now their relationship is growing much more distant.
How true that our relationships on earth are unique.  The here and now will never be exactly the same again.  Serves as a great reminder to live to the full and not have any regrets in this life with our relationships.  I'm excited for the future, though, because without all our earthly baggage, the love we feel when we meet our loved ones again is so much more pure and powerful.  It's like even if we don't walk beside them day to day, the love shared in that temporary connection caries us along until the next reunion.

Szaxx

Quote from: Stillwater on November 06, 2013, 01:13:50
I absolutely understand what you mean Szaxx.


I retained a lot of emotionally charged images from these experiences as a result.

Your next dream on from this with the three deaths should show you something more.
It's connected.
You have reviewed these as you would normally do and answered some of those initial questions. We all see this from your words in the third person. This is something you should do too, your insight from the experience may show more than you are seeing at present.
One thing I see is this experience is from a higher level than normally experienced. Label accepted.
The colours and shapes at the initiation are the infamous vortex experience. Label again.. Your recall fits too. Id guess that you'll not forget this in a very long time.
There's more within or possibly coming. A few days have elapsed and something seems to be missing.
My experience of a very similar situation taught me to close off emotion, spock style, yet within it was impossible. You know this too. Next thing was those clairvoyant dreams where I was one with all. It's inherent difficulties come to be realised when many perish. The waiting game is difficult and then the event occurs 100% accurate as seen.
After a few years it eased in content then the retrievals started to become more intense. More people bigger odds and the experiences ranged wider. It's a hard hit emotionally but worth it in the end. I've spared the details but the post brought back some intense memories.
I hope it's as you see it so far, should it escalate, PM's will be answered.
You may be on a fast track to the unknown
We are very similar in mindset and emotional composure.
There's definately more to this, that feeling isn't going away.
Have another look from a different perspective, the words I'm looking for have not yet been written.
A clue is sadness.
There's a message here if you can read between the lines. :wink:
There's far more where the eye can't see.
Close your eyes and open your mind.

Stillwater

I agree, to me it also feels like a three-piece puzzle with two pieces in place. I know there is another piece out there somewhere, but I am not seeking it. I get the distinct impression I was being shown something. I think this was timed. As basic experiences and dreams go, these ones had production value and care, as though someone assembled it with intent. This was the work of a studied hand. I feel thankful that someone gave me what I may have needed when not everyone may get that opportunity.

I feel someone was giving me information I might need later, or perhaps preparation. Like Scrooge, I am not looking for the third ghost, but if you remember the play, he will come in his time.

What the future holds, is anyone's guess. I think this time and place in general (our planet and century) will be a time of profound challenges, and we are about to rush headlong into the unlit horizon. Many hands are held to strike, and all manner of genies are being let out. I hope that I am equal to the challenges placed before me. Maybe the information is for something personal to me, or maybe it is on a bigger scale.
"The Gardener is but a dream of the Garden."

-Unattributed Zen monastic

Szaxx

Agreed on your findings.
It may be the internal emotional aspect that needs the preparation.
The data given suggests this.
Be prepared for it and understand it as part of the 'enlightenment process'.  :wink:
If it hits you as I experienced it, it's a rollercoaster off its tracks.
You will be in the front seat and see all.
Time will tell...
There's far more where the eye can't see.
Close your eyes and open your mind.

rainbowcity

I really enjoyed reading your experience. Thank you for sharing.

You said, "Yeah I am not sure what to make of the dazzling geometric lights. I have heard people many times say that they were a way of visualizing higher realms."

It is really strange reading this for me because years ago when my brother died. I often had dreams with him in it for at least two years. I had some strange awareness that maybe he was lost. I used to do this horrible thing where I realized he was dead in the dream and I would say to him, "You are dead." He would because really scared and run away.

I can't remember if I intuitively knew or if it was through research but I remember advising him to go to the higher realms in the light.
I pointed to a set of geometric shapes in the sky. They seemed almost like a mobile dangling in the distance with glowing triangles and geometric stars. He got the message.

Unfortunately, I haven't seen him in years. It is really bizarre it is like he completely disappeared. I just say this because I literally would have dreams with him every single night for two years and we would be playing games like we were children.